


Looks Like He Can Surf

by LyricalPary



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Beach, Awkward Flirting, Casual Sex, Friends With Benefits, Lifeguard Ashton thinks he's cute, Luke is a little awkward, M/M, Pining, Romance, Summer Vacation, Surfing, quite casual indeed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-05 18:04:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 174,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1827343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalPary/pseuds/LyricalPary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They spend the summer before university in an old beach house. Luke meets the human embodiment of sunshine. Just like the ocean waves, sometimes people are unpredictable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Honey Curls and Cocktails

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xiiis16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiiis16/gifts).



> **Disclaimer:** This is purely a work of fiction. Aka, this was written just for fun and for the enjoyment of other people who like this kind of thing. I do not claim to know any of the 5sos members, nor should this work be linked to any of them. Nothing is true, ~~everything is permitted.~~
> 
>  **Warnings and things:** A few mentions of a past underage relationship. Very, very brief guest appearances from a couple 1D boys, but too brief to tag. Oh, and Ashton is aged up by one year for plot reasons.
> 
>  **Notes:** I'd like to dedicate this to [Vanessa](http://whereshiphappens.tumblr.com), who is absolutely lovely and gorgeous and supportive! She helped me along the way by constantly providing awesome feedback and encouraging me, and I owe her so much for that. This fic really wouldn't have happened without her. Also, a special thanks to [Carrie](http://loukey.tumblr.com) for motivating me and just being wonderful, okay, you are great. A final thanks to everyone who has been patiently waiting for this story to be published, I hope you can enjoy it!
> 
> [8tracks Playlist](http://8tracks.com/bilesbilinski/looks-like-he-can-surf)
> 
>   
>  **I do not give anyone permission to upload this work anywhere else.**   
> 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

Their vacation had only begun the day before, but that didn’t stop Luke from feeling the utmost amount of annoyance that one can achieve in such a short span of time. 

“You’ve gone the wrong way,” he repeats, for what seems like the hundredth time yet. 

“No, I _haven’t_ ,” Michael protests. “We’ve just taken a shortcut, stop whining already.” 

“And what shortcut takes an extra hour?” 

Luke thinks that he hears Michael make some sort of snarky remark, but all other sound is drowned out due to Calum’s loud, obnoxious yodeling to a Katy Perry song that blares on the radio. He was singing horribly on purpose while simultaneously scarfing down a bag of potato chips, making his voice muffled but nonetheless annoying. Between arguing with Michael about where the hell they were and trying to tune out the other boy’s singing, Luke was beginning to develop a deadly headache that he knew wouldn’t vanish until he was out of this godforsaken car. 

In the middle of all the chaos, though, Luke couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He was with the two people that he cared about more than anyone else in the world, aside from his family. They were traveling on the open road, the clear blue sky matched the color of his eyes, and spring had finally made way for summer. Best of all, however, they were _finally_ done with high school. Like, for good. They were done with high school and they had an entire two months of bliss, sweet bliss that they were going to spend however they wanted to. Just the three of them, together, like it has been for the past few years. 

It was almost overwhelming, if Luke was completely honest with himself. Despite the fact that the three of them had elected to attend the same university, this vacation still felt as if it were something final. As if, when it was over, they wouldn’t really be the same dorky boys that they had been before. It was a ridiculous thought, because no matter where they went or what they did, they’d always remain themselves. But, Luke still couldn’t shake the feeling that this would be more than a simple two-month getaway. 

What he could do for now was shake the thought from his mind. And so he does. 

“Hey, I think we were supposed to turn there?” 

“What?” Michael tries shouting over the noise, but fails.

“I said—” Luke pauses with a huff, and leans forward from the backseat to reach for the radio, turning it off with a sigh of relief. “I think we were supposed to turn back there.” 

For the first time in nearly half an hour, Calum stops singing and turns to give Luke a glare that only makes him look like a grumpy puppy. 

“I was listening to that!” he yells. 

“If we were supposed to go that way,” Michael interrupts in a tone that clearly tells how fed up he is, “then we would’ve. But we didn’t, so obviously we shouldn’t.” 

Luke rolls his eyes. “That doesn’t make any sense!” 

“It does! You’re not allowed to criticize me, you still don’t even _have_ a license yet.”

The childish arguing only has a chance to continue for a few seconds this time, before they’re interrupted when Calum yells again.

“Shut up a second! Look, there it is!” 

Luke leans back in his seat and sticks his head out of the window. Sure enough, the ocean surface had come into view at last; the afternoon sun reflects off the water and creates sparkles that were nearly blinding. It was one of the most gorgeous sights that Luke has ever seen in the eighteen years of his life. And, yeah, he’s been to the beach before. He’s seen the ocean too many times to count, to be honest. But this—this was different. This felt as if it were _theirs_ , in a sense. After all, this would be their home for the entire duration of their two-month stay. In fact, perched on a hill at the far end of the beach and a little ways off from the shore, sat the old bungalow that they would live in. 

“See, I told you I knew where I was going,” Michael scoffs, brimming with pride.

Luke only smiles, his gaze fixed on their destination. 

When they arrive, the car has just barely stopped moving before they’re opening the doors and eagerly hopping out, including Michael, who almost forgets to put the damn thing in park. Then, they’re simply standing there, admiring the exterior of the little beach house. Somehow, they just know that it’s perfect. 

“Should we start unpacking now?” Luke asks. 

They all glance at each other for a brief moment before bursting with laughter at the obscene suggestion, and soon enough, they’re sprinting towards the front door like a mini pack of squirrels. Yeah, they’re definitely still the same dorky boys, Luke thinks to himself. 

“Come on, just unlock it already,” Calum whines, impatiently bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“Alright, alright, jeez! Hold on a sec.” 

Michael fiddles around with an array of keys before he finally finds the one that he was searching for. The key to the door is a slightly rusty little thing in appearance, but to them it was made of gold and held the answers to every question in the universe. Luke and Calum peers over their friend’s shoulders, watching with wide eyes as the lock is undone and their new home awaits them. 

“Now lads, before we go in… I’d just like to say a few deep and meaningful words to forever mark this moment.”

Michael turns to them as he speaks, a solemn expression on his face that matches the seriousness of his tone. The other two boys quiet down and wait, the anxiousness building up inside with every passing second of silence. 

Then, Michael smirks. 

“I choose first!” he shouts, suddenly bolting through the front door and making his way towards the bedrooms. 

“Oh, that’s just _evil—_ you cheater!” Luke yells, both he and Calum scrambling through the door after him.

It was kind of pointless, though. Luke only ends up tripping over his own two feet and nearly landing face-first against the hardwood floor. By the time he eventually recovers, Michael and Calum are already squabbling over something about a ceiling fan. In the end, Luke gets the little room in the back of the house that faces the ocean. 

Despite the fact that it’s the smallest one, Luke falls in love with it immediately. There’s a full size mattress on a wooden bed frame in the middle of the room, with a tiny wooden dresser on the right side that matches it. Other than that, the room is completely bare. What he adores about it, though, is the view. 

His feet carry him over to the wide, sliding window. Though it was the only one in the room, the brightness and warmth of the sun that shone through could be felt in its entirety. He unlatches the window and opens it, the smell of old wood and dust in the room already beginning to be overwhelmed by the strong scent of the sea. Luke inhales deeply, taking it all in as a warm smile spreads on his face. 

They were lucky to be here, in truth. Earlier in the year, they had decided that this was definitely where they wanted to go after graduation. After all, what could be better than lounging on the beach by themselves for an entire summer, and no parents around? The only problem was that it wasn’t exactly something they could afford, however. It took a bit of persuading, but eventually, Michael’s father had contacted an old friend, inquiring about the availability of the old beach house that they were staying in now. And, a small favor or two later, it had been proclaimed as theirs for the whole summer. 

It was old, yes, but not _ancient_. Besides, the price that they were renting it for was extremely cheap, given the size of the place: three small bedrooms, a decent sized bathroom, a nice living room and kitchen area, and even a little laundry room near the back of the home. Luke had been able to afford his share simply by getting a part-time job for a couple of months and doing a little extra work on the weekends, not to mention the money that he received as part of his graduation gifts. 

In a way, everything had worked out perfectly for them. 

Upon exiting his new room and walking back down the hallway, Luke finds Calum sprawled out in the middle of the living room floor, resembling a starfish. Only, this starfish has the features of an eighteen year old boy with big brown eyes and tanned skin. 

“What are you doing?” Luke asks, laughing softly. He doesn’t wait for an answer before he lies down to join the other boy on the cool floor. 

“This is it,” Calum near-whispers, “I’ve died and gone to heaven. Or, I’m dreaming. But, please don’t pinch me.” 

Luke does so, anyway. Just because he can. 

“ _Ow_ , I said don’t!” 

“You guys are morons,” Michael chimes in, and their pinch-fight is put to an end when he lies down on top of them, spreading his limbs across their bodies like some sort of housecat. 

Luke squirms in protest, but it’s no use. “Why are you so heavy? You’re squishing me.” 

“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” Michael teases.

Seeing as he’s pretty much stuck there for now, Luke gives up the struggle. It doesn’t really matter, anyway. The three of them are basically brothers, and lying together in a pile on the floor has more or less become the norm for them. Besides, Luke has had to deal with much, much worse things before. 

There’s a moment of comfortable silence that floats over them. The only sounds that meet their ears are those of the ocean waves, crashing against the rocks at the bottom of the small hill. Occasionally, the rhythmic waves are accompanied by the shrieking of nearby seagulls, a sound that reminds Luke of nothing but _beach_ and _freedom_. He could get used to this. In fact, he’s already beginning to love the feeling of the cool hardwood floor against his back, and the smell of sea salt that fills his nostrils with every passing breeze. 

It was paradise. 

“This really is nice, though… isn’t it?” Michael murmurs. 

“What? You being on top of us, crushing our genitals?” 

“No, Calum—okay, maybe, but that’s not what I meant!” 

Michael lurches up from his previous position and crosses his legs underneath himself, an excited grin gracing his features; with his arms spread, he remains paused for a dramatic effect. 

“I mean being in this place! It’s fucking amazing, right? To be honest, it doesn’t even look as old as it is.” 

He was definitely right about that. The exterior was one thing, but on the inside, it was actually really decent for its age. Luke remembers hearing something about the owner renovating the place some years ago, but he’s not too sure on the details. What he could see, though, were sturdy walls and used furniture that almost looks new. He makes a mental note to try out the comfy looking sofa and armchair, as well as to check his mattress for bedbugs. Aside from that, all that the place needs is a bit of dusting. Surely they’d get to the whole cleaning aspect sometime soon. Definitely soon. 

Maybe. 

“So… what should we do first, then?” Luke questions. 

The room falls silent again as they look back and forth at one another, hoping that someone has an idea of what they’re supposed to do first. Well, what they _should_ do first. After all, they’re on vacation and no one is around to force them to do anything or tell them what is supposed to be done. Finally, Michael gives a lazy shrug. 

“At the moment, I think I could really go for a nap,” he says, yawning. 

Luke instantly sits up and stares at his previously-excited friend in disbelief, a small frown forming on his face. 

“What? But we just _got_ here.” 

“Exactly. We’re here because I drove us here—which took hours, by the way. Can you really blame me for being exhausted?” 

Luke rolls his eyes. “We stopped half-way and slept at a hotel—” 

“ _Hours_ ,” his friend repeats. 

Michael lets out a long sigh and runs a hand through his… multicolored hair? Luke doesn’t know what the fuck color it is right now. It was mostly black, but there were specks of various shades of red and purple throughout the top of his head. He looks sort of like an emo Pokémon, in a way. Michael had wanted to dye it platinum blonde like he’d had it for a short while during the previous year, claiming that it was more of a ‘beach-y look’ than his current color, but that would’ve delayed their trip for yet another day. No one wanted that at all. 

“Actually, I say we go down to the water. That’s basically the first golden rule of visiting the beach, right?“ Calum says, and he lifts a hand to list off these so-called ‘golden rules’ with his fingers. “First, you get sand between your toes. Then, you swim for a really long time until you become one with the ocean. Lastly, you talk to all the pretty girls while you’re still soaking wet.” 

Michael nudges Calum in the ribcage with his foot and scoffs, “You act as if you won’t have two whole months to do that! All I need is an hour or two of beautiful rest, and _then_ we can discuss getting wet and pretty girls.” 

Calum snorts. “Is that supposed to be an innuendo? ‘Cause it wasn’t that good of one.”

“It wasn’t an innuendo! Well, not completely, but who cares. It’s naptime.” 

“No, it’s beach time!” 

Luke sighs and listens to his friends argue back and forth about what they should be doing, and he was suddenly annoyed again. He loves his two best friends, he truly does. Sometimes, though it was rare, he wonders what the hell he has gotten himself into. 

“Guys, wait,” he cut them off at last, “You seem to be forgetting something really important.” 

Michael and Calum look at each other in slight confusion, before turning to Luke with questioning stares. 

“We still haven’t unpacked anything.” 

Groans fill the room, and Luke could tell that his suggestion of their first vacation activity was liked least of all. But, he was only thinking logically! After all, there was no way he was sleeping on a bare mattress tonight. So, he explains that if they moved everything from the car to the house now instead of later, they wouldn’t have to do it when they were too exhausted from playing at the beach all afternoon. Apparently, his idea didn’t seem so bad anymore, and the other two eventually agreed.

“ _Fiiine_ ,” Michael groans. “We’ll unpack and then go to the beach. But, I’m only helping with half of the stuff since I drove _and_ you’re not letting me sleep.” 

In the end, Michael actually ends up helping with most of the luggage because, apparently, Luke and Calum were going far too slow (they don’t tell him that they were purposely going at a snail’s pace, and it stays that way). Luke is fairly pleased when his room has been given a bit more character, now that it isn’t completely bare. His acoustic guitar sits in one of the corners of the room, his fingers already itching to play it; he probably will soon enough, but for now he smooths out the blue and white striped comforter on his bed and pushes his suitcase underneath it. He’ll have time to properly unpack his clothes later on, he’s sure. 

*** 

They finally leave the house about an hour later, and even Michael is excited to finally go down to the beach and see all that it has to offer. It was already about three-thirty in the afternoon by this time and none of them have eaten lunch, but the anxiousness in their veins clouds over the emptiness of their stomachs. And, like the impatient teenage boys that they are, they don’t even properly set up a blanket and everything else that they’ve brought with them before they’re diving into the cool ocean water. 

The first time that Luke meets _him_ , he’s buried beneath the sand from the neck down. 

“Look, I made you a friend!” Michael chirps, patting down the deformed sand figure that he’d just finished sculpting. 

“What even _is_ that thing?” Luke laughs. Every time he looks at it, it just gets funnier. 

Michael doesn’t seem to think so. 

“It’s a person, obviously. Can’t you tell? Looks, there’s even a little smiley—oh, shit, I messed it up.” 

Luke chuckles again before he can even help it. “Oh, god—now it looks like some sort of deformed penis.” 

“Fuck off, Luke. It’s _art_ ,” Michael insists. He pauses, tilting his head and examining the figure as if he could somehow fix it. He decides that it’s not really worth it, and smashes it back into its original form as a pile of damp sand. 

When they’d gotten bored of swimming around and splashing each other in the seawater, they’d elected to take a break and build the most awesome sandcastle that the world had ever laid eyes on. Except, they didn’t. In fact, they very much sucked at making sandcastles and anything that even remotely resembles one. Instead, Michael and Calum decided that it would be much more fun to bury Luke in the sand, up to his neck. Now, Luke looks like some sort of bodiless monster with his head sticking out of the sand, surrounded by failed sand sculptures. And, really, he couldn’t be any giddier in this moment. 

Michael sighs and sprinkles a bit of sand on Luke’s head. “Where the hell is Calum? It shouldn’t take this long to pee and buy ice cream.”

Luke wonders the same thing, and he would’ve looked around if not for the fact that he couldn’t really move his neck too much. After they had convinced him that urinating in the ocean wasn’t a good idea, Calum had run off towards the nearest bathrooms, though they were located on the opposite side of where the three of them had been playing. They’d also sent him on a mission to bring back ice cream and whatever else he could carry, since the hunger had finally caught up to them. However, almost half an hour has passed since then. 

“I don’t know,” Luke replies. “He’ll probably be back in a couple of minutes from now. Maybe you should’ve gone with him, though?” 

“I had to finish burying you!” Luke feels a small thump in the back of his head as Michael flicks him. “Not to mention revising our lovely fortress and its guards.” 

“You mean the deformed penis sculptures?” 

“Fine. You know what?” Michael stands up, then; his form blocks out the late afternoon sun from Luke’s vision, and now Luke can see the evil smirk that slowly forms on his friend’s face. Yeah, he probably shouldn’t have kept making fun of the sculptures. 

“I’ll go find Calum, then.” 

“…Wait, don’t go yet,” Luke begs. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll only take a minute! I’ll be right back here before you even know it, _pal_.” 

“ _Michael_ , I’m serious.” 

“Don’t move, okay?” Michael says, laughing. “I mean, not that you can.” 

“No, _no no no no—_ come back!” 

Luke’s protests are completely ignored as his friend walks off towards—well, somewhere. He still couldn’t turn his head, so he wasn’t sure which direction Michael had stalked off to. 

“Okay, okay… This is fine. I’ll just—I’ll wait here, then,” Luke says, though mainly to himself since no one else was around. That was mostly true, despite the fact that there were actually quite a few people on the beach, right then. None of the other families and groups of people paid any attention to the head sticking out of the ground, though. 

Whatever, it really was no big deal at all. They played pranks like this on each other all the time, surely Michael and Calum would return any second now and dig him out, then they’d sit together on the blanket and eat ice cream. Also, he wasn’t even close enough to the water to be in any real danger, so there was no need to panic. Nope. Definitely not. 

A full sixty seconds pass by before Luke decides that he had been left there to die. 

“Fuck me,” he curses aloud. 

“Wow. That’s pretty straightforward, don’t ya think? I should at least know your name, first.” 

Luke quickly opens his eyes and glances up at the source of the mysterious voice before him, but the sun was in his eyes again and he couldn’t really see them as well as he’d like to. One thing for sure was that this person was neither Michael nor Calum. 

“Sorry, just a bit of crude humor. You alright down there?” the guy goes on to ask. “You look like you could use a hand. Or two.” 

Realizing now that the questions were definitely directed towards him, Luke sputters before answering, “Um, no, it’s—I mean, I’m good. Yeah… my friends should be back any minute now.” 

Even to his own ears, Luke knew that he didn’t sound too sure about that. The guy stands there for a couple of seconds before he shrugs and begins walking away. 

“Well, alright. Good luck with that.” 

_Luke Hemmings, you are an idiot._ The voice in his mind seems to repeat this a million times in a split second, before Luke gives in. 

He speaks loudly to get the guy’s attention. 

“Actually I could, um… use a bit of help, to be honest? If you don’t mind,” Luke mutters, sighing with defeat. 

Whoever this guy is, he starts laughing—giggling?—and Luke finds the stranger crouching down next to him as he begins to remove some of the sand in big handfuls.

“No, I don’t mind at all,” he chirps. 

Shortly afterwards, enough sand has been removed that allows Luke to finish the job himself, so he stands and shakes the rest of the sand from his body. It was perfect timing, too, because his legs had started to go numb and there was a subtle itch on his right thigh that he had really wanted to scratch but couldn’t, and it nearly drove him mad. 

“Um. Thank you so…” 

Luke trails off as he attempts to thank the man, while also hoping that he doesn’t look as lame as he felt stuck in a hole. But, now that the sun was no longer murdering his eyesight, he could finally get a proper look at the kind stranger. Kind, _really attractive_ stranger was a better description, in truth. Luke suddenly finds himself a bit overwhelmed by curls. Lots of honey-colored curls and big dimples and—holy shit— _really_ nice biceps and toned abs to match. 

Okay, so there were probably lots of other attractive people on the beach, too. But, he doubts that any of them had the combination of soft curly hair (definitely soft, Luke was sure of it) and dimples and a great body to match that had Luke tripping over his own words. Plus, none of the other hot girls and hot guys had stopped to dig him out of a hole! Maybe he should’ve been embarrassed by that fact—yes, he definitely was—but even more so, he feels grateful. 

“Hi, I’m Luke,” he blurts out, realizing that he’s kind of just _staring_ at Mr. Honey Curls. Did he really just refer to him as that in his mind? 

Yes. Yes, he did. 

Honey Curls does that giggling thing again, though it’s much quieter this time around. It still has Luke’s stomach in a knot, especially when the guy grins and his dimples are in full effect. 

“Ashton,” Honey Curls— _Ashton—_ replies, then uncrosses his arms and extends one for a handshake. 

Luke hopes that he doesn’t react too slowly when he takes it. He instantly notes that Ashton’s hands are bigger than his, even though he himself seems to be a couple of inches taller. Ashton is wearing sunglasses, so Luke isn’t sure what his eyes look like, though he wishes he could see them. He feels kind of exposed for some reason, standing there in his swimming trunks and not being able to make proper eye contact. What he notices last, however, are the red shorts and a certain word printed on them in yellow. 

“You’re a lifeguard,” Luke says, stating the obvious. 

Ashton follows Luke’s gaze and looks down at himself, an expression of mock surprise replacing his grin. 

“Why, yes. Yes, I am.” 

Only now does Luke remember that he’s still holding Ashton’s hand, so he quickly lets go of it and rubs the back of his neck instead, slightly embarrassed.

God, why did he have to be so _awkward_? He didn’t usually lose his cool _this_ much in the presence of someone that he found attractive, even if they were a guy. He had accepted himself as being bisexual for a little over a year now, but he didn’t tell anyone that he identified as such until some months ago when he spilled it to Calum during a sleepover. So, he honestly had no idea why he was being such an embarrassment now in front of someone he’s met a few seconds ago. 

“So, um… thanks for the help? Yeah. I don’t usually find myself neck-deep in holes…” 

“It’d be a real tragedy if you did,” Ashton comments. 

“…and, like, I hope I didn’t waste too much of your time.” 

Ashton grins once more and shakes his head, the curls gently bouncing one way and then the other. 

“No, not at all. It’s basically my job—you know, helping people out? Though, I’m usually required to save them from drowning and other very dangerous situations. But, nearly being buried alive really sucks, too.” Ashton bites his tongue then, and Luke can tell that he’s trying his hardest not to laugh. 

Right now, Luke kind of wishes that he was in that hole again, this time buried completely. 

“Well, I better finish making my round. See ya, Lucas! It was nice meeting you. Keep an eye out for more dangerous holes, okay?” 

Luke merely watches, dazed as the cheeky lifeguard walks away, eventually disappearing from view due to the amount of people on the beach. 

Calum and Michael return a minute later.

*** 

“I really was coming right back, you know.” 

It was nighttime, now. The fierce heat of the day diminished as a cool breeze settled along the coast. They’d had a fulfilling dinner at some pizza joint about fifteen minutes from their place of residence. The energy in their young bodies had just about completely died down by then, the exhaustion from a long day taking over, and it took a bit of an effort to march back up the hill to the beach house. After a long shower, though, Luke feels much better than before and he doesn’t actually want to go to sleep, yet. The clock has just barely struck nine in the evening, anyway. 

“ _Luuuke_ ,” Michael moans when he gets ignored. “I apologized, how long are you gonna be mad?” 

In truth, Luke had stopped being angry about being left in a hole many hours ago. As a matter of fact, he was wearing a smug grin because, yeah, he may have been left in a hole to rot, but Michael was the one lying miserably on the couch with a sunburn. Just to be a dick, Luke reaches across from his position in the armchair and pokes his friend where he knows it’ll hurt, eliciting a sharp yelp from the other boy. 

“Oh, come on! I left you for _five minutes_!” 

“Hey, Luke,” Calum says over Michael’s whining. He sits up from his previous place on the floor—Michael was taking up the whole couch—and pulls his knees to his chest. “Tell us more about the guy who rescued you from the hole. Like, besides how much you wanted to lick his abs.” 

“I… I never said _anything_ about wanting to lick him _anywhere_ , oh my god.” 

“Okay, but you’d definitely do it if he let you, right?” 

Luke groans and covers his flushed face with his hands. He doesn’t really blame Calum for the stuck-in-a-hole incident, even though his friend had diverged from the ice cream mission and stopped to talk to ‘a few people’, whom Luke will just assume were pretty girls. He does kind of regret mentioning Ashton’s attractiveness when they had questioned how he managed to get out, though. 

Luke doesn’t want to think or talk about Ashton, however. Every time that he did, their embarrassing conversation replayed in his mind over and over again, each time much worse than the last. In reality, he knows that Ashton had merely been teasing him, and maybe, just _maybe_ he sensed a tiny bit of flirtation. Plus, Ashton seemed like a really cool guy. 

The problem is that Luke doesn’t see _himself_ as a cool guy; he’s dorky and awkward and sometimes he can be really shy, depending on the situation. He might look a certain way on the outside, with his piercings and pretty blonde hair and whatnot. But, when people get to know him, they might think differently of him in a bad way. 

“There’s nothing to tell,” Luke says at last. “All I know is that his name’s Ashton, he’s a lifeguard, and now we can stop talking about him forever, thanks.” 

“A lifeguard?” Michael suddenly pipes up, only lifting his head because the rest of his body is still sore. “Yeah, you probably should forget about him, then.”

“What’s wrong with lifeguards?” Calum asks. “This one seems nice. He helped Luke, after all.” 

“Sure, they can be nice and I bet that they are. Most of them probably only go for surfers, but would it really be a good idea to hook up with one? Think about it: they spend the majority of their time at the beach. Since we’re gonna be here for a while, it’s highly likely that you’ll see them all the time. I mean, imagine getting on a lifeguard’s bad side, you’re swimming and suddenly you get attacked by a giant squid. Who’s going to help you? No one, the lifeguard and their pals pretend that they can’t see you being eaten because you fucked with the wrong crew.” 

Michael’s long-winded rant is followed by an even longer period of silence. And, really, he should have expected it when both Luke and Calum erupt into a fit of giggles at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. 

“That was the single most dramatic example that I’ve ever heard,” Luke manages to say through the laughter. 

“Are you sure that didn’t happen in a movie or something?” Calum adds. 

“Hahaha. Laugh all you want, it’ll be your fault when it happens!” Michael warns them, but even he couldn’t stop from laughing a little at the absurd thought. “Okay, okay. Just be careful, yeah? I know how we talked about doing all sorts of fun shit when we got here and maybe hooking up with people, but… you still have to know who or what you’re dealing with.” 

This time they didn’t laugh, but Luke lets out a frustrated sigh. 

“Okay, but you’re saying that with the assumption that I _do_ want to try hooking up with someone, when I don’t really plan to,” he half-lies. 

It was true that he hadn’t actually _planned_ on going out and finding someone to have sex with, but, it was also true that he was the only one in their trio who was still a virgin. Yes, Luke knows that there’s nothing wrong with that. It was just a fact. He also knows that there’s nothing special about having a lot of sex or having none at all, even if people sometimes made it feel that way. 

Regardless, he often found himself wondering what it would be like to have sex with someone that he liked. Maybe he only thought of it because he knew that his friends had done so before, or maybe because he was technically still a teenager and teenagers often thought of these things.

Either way, a great part of him craves the experience, whether it’s during this particular vacation or sometime later in his university days. There’s no rush, of course—but, damn, it sure did frustrate him at times. Like now, for instance. 

“Anyway,” Luke quickly says, changing the subject because his own thoughts are starting to make him feel awkward, “we should check out the pubs, get a few drinks to celebrate?” 

Michael clears his throat. “Um, hello? I’m still very much in excruciating pain, here.” 

“No you’re not.” Calum argues. He reaches up to demonstrate, but Michael quickly swats his hand away. 

“ _Don’t_. Anyway, you stopped me from napping earlier. Now I’m twice as tired as I was before, thanks to you two.” 

“But, _drinks_ ,” Luke repeats with great emphasis. “Fruity, alcoholic drinks that probably have the little umbrellas on the side.” 

Calum gasps, and Luke knows that he’s won. “Oh! I love the little umbrellas.” 

“The vote is two-to-one,” he announces with vigor. 

Michael shrugs. “I’m still not going.” 

“But—” 

“Not. Going.” Michael shifts the cold compress from one shoulder to the other and buries his face into the couch cushion. “I’ll gladly housesit, though. Just let me sleep, for god’s sake.” 

“Alright, fine. Looks like we’re a duo tonight, Cal,” Luke huffs. He grabs the key to the front door from the little kitchen table and shoves it into one of his pocket. When they step outside into the night air, he stage-whispers before closing the door, “Drinks are on Mikey next time. Hopefully, he’ll have remembered to reapply sunscreen when he’s supposed to.”

*** 

The bar that they go to turns out to be near the restaurant that they’d eaten at only hours before, so the walk really wasn’t too far. Surprisingly enough, it was slightly crowded inside, though not so crowded that it became unbearable. Luke blames the crowdedness on the relatively small size of the place, as well as the fact that it was a friday night. None of it matters once he has enough alcohol in his system. He doesn’t plan to get shit-faced drunk, but the buzz turns out to be exactly what he needs to relax again. 

“What’s that?” Luke asks when he sees the next drink that Calum returns to their table with; he sort of has to half-shout the question to be heard over the laughing, talking, and music playing throughout the place. 

The beverage was some sort of pretty blue concoction with two small pieces of fruit perched on the side of the glass. It was much prettier than Luke’s simple piña colada. 

Calum blinks, titling his head in wonder before he gives a lazy shrug. 

“I forgot. But, look! My little umbrella is cuter than yours,” he beams with pride, twirling the little decoration between his index and thumb. 

Luke snorts at that, and he’s about to ask just how many drinks Calum has consumed already (he definitely is _not_ carrying his friend back up that hill) when he hears a loud, familiar laugh from nearby. Or, wait, it was more of a familiar _giggle_. He looks in the direction that he thinks of came from, and… 

Shit. 

The universe had decided to let him be right about something for once, when he really wished that he wasn’t. 

Standing at the bar only a few feet away was, of course, Ashton the lifeguard. He was sort of surrounded by a small group of attractive people, no doubt other lifeguards, and they must’ve just come into the bar recently since Luke would’ve noticed Ashton before then. Not that he’s staring or anything, but Luke gradually takes in Ashton’s appearance: he’s wearing a sleeveless shirt that doesn’t fail to show off his biceps, as well as a tight pair of ripped denim jeans that hugs his thighs and his hips and—and, a sudden dizzy feeling runs through Luke’s body. He blames it on the alcohol. 

“What’s wrong?” says the voice next to him.

Luke whips his head around to face Calum again, who is looking at him with a great amount of concern. 

“What? Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. What makes you think there’s something wrong?” he sort of blabbers in a rush, then attempts to slurp down an obscene amount of his drink at once. 

“Well, for one, you keep turning your head to look over there every five seconds. Two, your drink is empty, so you should probably stop slurping at nothing.” 

Luke frowns, looking down at his empty glass. 

Fuck. When did that happen? 

“Tell me,” Calum demands. He snaps his fingers in front of Luke’s face to get his attention again. 

“Fine, alright, jeez… it’s just, _he’s_ here. And, you know, it’s no big deal. I just—” 

“You mean Ashton?” Calum cuts him off, and there was nothing secretive about the tone that he’d chosen. 

“Yes, shhh—god, the whole planet probably heard you!” 

Calum raises a brow in curiosity, but it’s immediately replaced with a look of mischief that Luke isn’t very fond of. Especially when his friend begins to chuckle. 

“Okay, I don’t get it. Why are you so afraid of him? You don’t even know him. And, which one is he, anyway?” 

Luke rapidly shakes his head. “I’m not… I’m not afraid of him or anything else, for that matter.” 

Calum isn’t convinced. 

There was no way that he was getting out of this conversation, Luke knew. The only option was to get it over with as quickly as possible so that he could stop being pestered about it. With an exasperated sigh, he rubs his temples in hopes that he could stall the headache that was bound to come soon enough. 

“Light-brown, curly hair… grey shirt, denim jeans,” he begins to list. 

“Nice ass?” 

“Nice a—” 

Somehow, Luke catches himself before the words spill from his mouth, and he makes sure to properly kick Calum underneath the table, right in the shin.

“Abusive!” his friend laughs, and he promises to take the whole thing a bit more seriously. “Yeah, yeah, I see him…wow.”

“Yeah, _wow_.” 

“You should go talk to him,” Calum casually suggests, and then returns his attention to the drink before him. 

“ _What_? No, absolutely not. I-I can’t do that. That’d be weird.” 

“How come? You already did it before.” 

“Yeah, for maybe two minutes. You know, after he dug me out of a fucking hole.” 

“ _Luuuke_ ,” Calum groans impatiently, spinning in his seat until they were face to face. He places both of his hands on Luke’s shoulders and gently shakes him. “Luke, Luke, _Luke_. You need to just… chill, you know? Not everything is as bad as you think! If he turns out to be a dick, find someone else to flirt with, it’s as simple as that. Sometimes in life, you’re required to just say ‘fuck it’ and do what should be done. Go on, say it.” 

“…Are you high?”

“If you don’t talk to him or at least give me a good reason as to why you can’t, then _I’m_ going to talk to him.” 

This was harassment. There’s no doubt about it. He was being threatened by his own best friend, his _comrade_. Sober Calum would’ve let it go by now instead of pushing his boundaries, but slightly intoxicated Calum could not be defeated. Also, Luke was slightly intoxicated as well, so this whole situation literally spelled out disaster. It wasn’t the least bit fair. 

“Fuck it,” Luke mutters as he hops up from his seat—maybe not the best idea, but he manages not to fall. 

Calum pats him on the back and shouts some words of encouragement, but all Luke focuses on is the short distance between their table and the bar where Ashton was standing. Well, it should’ve been a short distance, but it ends up feeling like walking a mile. This time, Luke doesn’t blame it on the drinks. 

And of course he gets a bit of alcohol spilled on him when he tries to get Ashton’s attention. Amazing. 

“Woops—sorry about that!” Ashton’s apology sort of comes out slurred after he had spun around, spilling a bit of his cocktail on Luke’s old vans. 

“No, it’s my fault. Don’t worry about it,” Luke mutters. The words ‘fuck it’ are already beginning to mock him inside of his head. 

Ashton looks up then, their eyes meeting properly for the first time and—oh. They’re green. Well, not quite green. The color of Ashton’s eyes seem to be a little more on the hazel side, a sort of strange mixture of the two. The shade isn’t really important, though. 

What captivates Luke is that they’re just so _big_. They’re big, bright and full of life, and maybe it’s because his mind isn’t in the right place but he can see so much in them; joy, pain, innocence, guilt, strength, weakness, cautiousness but a carefree nature and a million other things and _fuck._ This isn’t a cheesy romance novel, his mind shouldn’t be this inebriated from a few simple drinks. 

Get it the fuck together, Luke. 

“Um… hi?” 

_Smooth_. 

Ashton appears unfazed by the lameness, because a cheerful grin immediately forms and his dimples are killing Luke softly, once again. 

“Oh, it’s you! Perfect timing.” 

“Huh?” Luke frowns, more than a little confused. 

Ashton turns back towards his friends and waves a hand in Luke’s direction before he shouts, “Hey, guys! This is him, the one that was in the hole.” 

Like following the leader, all of the other lifeguards begin to laugh and cheer loudly, raising their drinks in a mock salute before going back to their separate conversations. 

“Oh,” Luke murmurs once he understands. He feels his face begin to heat up from embarrassment and the confidence that he’d started building sort of sinks. He doesn’t want to be the laughingstock that’ll always be remembered as a head sticking out of the sand. 

Suddenly, there’s a hand gently grabbing his wrist and he looks up again to find Ashton—who seems to have moved even closer—staring at him with an expression of worry.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I promise I wasn’t making fun of you. In fact, you really gave me a good laugh today, so thanks for that.” 

That… sort of makes Luke feel a little bit better. Just a bit. 

“It’s just a thing between me and the lads,” Ashton goes on to explain. “We get together for drinks and tell each other about the crazy but entertaining shit we’d seen that day. It’s all in jest.” 

As if to prove a point, Ashton points a thumb to the guy standing on the other side of him with a wicked grin. 

“That’s Dan. Once, Dan thought that he saw a shark near the shore so he sounded the alarm and had everyone running. Turns out, it was just someone’s cooler floating around in the water!” 

That really has Luke going, and he has to cover his mouth with a hand to stop himself from squealing with laughter. 

“For the last time, it was my _first day_. Screw you, Ash,” the guy named Dan says, but he has to bring his beer back up to his lips to hide his smile. 

“Love you, too,” Ashton chuckles. 

And then Ashton is looking at him again with those wide eyes, and Luke feels his insides start to float around. He’s hit with a sudden desire to impress the curly-headed guy. In fact, it almost feels like a _need_. He needs to impress him, needs to get Ashton to like him and approve of him in some way or another. Luke doesn’t know why he feels like he needs Ashton’s approval, but he thinks that if he gets it, he’ll have accomplished something. 

“So, where ya from, Lucas? What brings you to good ol‘ Byron Bay?” 

Luke clears his throat before answering. “West Sydney. And, um… I’m on vacation with my friends.” 

Ashton nods and leans against the bar in a way that Luke _knows_ has to be a flirtatious pose, but he really doesn’t want to get his hopes up. 

“Here for the adventure? Kayaking? Diving...?” 

Luke shakes his head and a thought comes to his mind before he replies with, “Diving isn’t really my forte. When I go under, I usually end up… buried deep in the sand.” 

It’s lame. It’s the lamest of lame jokes, but he figures it’s easier to get over the embarrassment of their first meeting if he makes fun of himself. Whether he actually finds it amusing or not, Ashton chuckles and Luke is sure that he sees a twinkle in his eyes. 

“What is your forte, then? Wait, let me guess! You’re a surfer. Definitely a surfer. You look like one, after all.” 

When Luke opens his mouth to deny it because, no, he definitely cannot surf, his slightly intoxicated brain decides that that’s not what he should say at all. 

“Yeah, actually,” he lies, “I am.” 

It’s no big deal, Luke thinks. Besides, when he sees the intrigued smile begin to blossom on Ashton’s face, he knows that he must’ve done something right. Maybe the guy has a thing for surfers? Luke can be a ‘surfer’, then. 

“I think I’m really starting to like you, Lucas. Sex on the Beach?” 

That catches Luke off guard. His eyes widen and he freezes up, his mouth opening and closing several times like some sort of stupid fish. 

Apparently, Ashton finds his reaction to be the funniest thing in the world.

“The _drink_. I’m talking about—oh my god—I meant the beverage,” he explains through bouts of laughter. “I’d like to buy you a drink! Is that okay?” 

Luke really, really wants to slap himself in the face. 

“…Sure, okay.” 

When he calms down, Ashton orders two Sex on the Beach cocktails for them. He’s still grinning from ear to ear when he turns his gaze on Luke again. 

“You’re really cute, you know that?” 

No, he doesn’t know that. What Luke _does_ know is that the next two months are most likely going to be filled with even more awkward moments and embarrassing mishaps, at this rate. But, a curly-haired boy with dimples and a smile that shines like the sun makes Luke feel like he’ll somehow manage to get through it all. 

Possibly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can expect updates at least once a week. Guaranteed, since they're already written. <3


	2. Things Get Sandy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've mentioned this before, but the total wordcount for the entire story will be around 130~140k, I think? Last time I checked, it was 113k but I still have two chapters plus an epilogue, so! I hope you stick around until then. I should also probably mention that each chapter, aside from these first two, are 10k+, so I apologize in advance for the longevity of it all. Lastly, thank you for everyone that has read this so far, I love you!

* * *

 

Luke awakens at the ungodly hour of six in the morning. It didn’t make any sense, really. This was his vacation, he should’ve been sleeping until noon everyday now, simply because he _could_. At first, he wasn’t even sure why or how he was awake. Then, the shriek of something evil reaches his ears and he remembers. He’d left the bedroom window open just a bit so that he wouldn’t get too hot in the middle of the night. Huge mistake that was, since now his beauty sleep was being rudely interrupted by a fucking seagull. 

Pulling the pillow over his head didn’t seem to do much, so he knew that he had no choice but to actually get up and shut the damn thing. But, the window just seemed _so far away_ and he was comfy and had been dreaming peacefully about—well, something. He couldn’t even remember now. Thanks a lot, nature. 

Luke lazily stretches his long limbs and decides to make the journey over to the window. What he’s greeted with is the absolute most gorgeous sunrise that he’s ever lain eyes on. The morning sun reflecting on the ocean as it rises kind of reminds Luke of something from long ago, though he has a feeling that he won’t be able to remember it. The sky is a mixed hue of blue with a light orange horizon that briefly takes his breath away. Just briefly, because the beautiful scene is interrupted by the squawk of the seagull perched a few feet away on the railing of the back porch, which is positioned to the left of Luke’s bedroom window. 

“Demon bird,” he hisses, slamming the window shut. The vibration causes the seagull to fly off, and Luke thanks whatever higher power decided to make birds wary of such things. 

Unfortunately, when he plops back down onto the mattress, sleep doesn’t return to him. He’s lying there for perhaps twenty minutes before he realizes that, yeah, he’s definitely not going back to sleep. It’s really fucked up, to be honest, because he was sure that he was still so tired. The activities of the previous day left his bones and muscles aching just a bit, and he feels as if he deserves a twenty-four hour sleep, at least. 

Still, yesterday had been really fun and Luke was happy about that. It was still hard to believe that they had two entire months of freedom at their disposal. The long drive there had definitely been worth it. 

With a soft sigh, Luke picks up his phone from the small wooden dresser at his bedside, hoping that a bit of music will eventually throw him back into his slumber. Instead, he ends up staring at the lit screen in slight shock at his contacts list, the last app that he’d used before locking it. 

‘Ashton’ is the first name at the top of the list with a blushing emoji next to it. 

Huh. 

Luke’s mind draws a blank for a split second before his heart starts thumping wildly in his chest, the events from the previous day quickly flashing before his eyes. 

He had been left in a hole. Ashton helped him out. They ran into each other at the bar. Luke embarrassed himself as usual. Ashton gave him his number. 

Oh.

Well, it couldn’t have been that bad, then. Once again, Luke thanks whatever higher power for the fact that he wasn’t hungover and a gorgeous lifeguard _actually_ wanted to stay in contact with him. Aside from the seagull ruining his rest, Luke feels as if today will be a fairly good day. 

Before he’d even realized it, Luke had opened iMessage and was currently staring at the blinking line in the text box. Okay, so he suddenly has the desire to text Ashton right away, no big deal. But, what the hell was he supposed to say? Was it too soon to contact him? Would Ashton think that he was a bit desperate and weird if he sent a message the very next day at six-thirty in the morning? What if Ashton wasn’t even awake at this hour? Or, what if he’d only given away his number because he wasn’t completely sober… 

If there was one thing that Luke was involuntarily skilled at, it was making himself paranoid. He should just send a fucking ‘good morning’ and be done with it already instead of behaving like a schoolboy with a crush.

Yeah. 

That was definitely not going to happen. 

Luke locks the phone again and half-tosses it back onto the dresser. 

There were more important matters at hand, such as the fact that he was really hungry. After brushing his teeth and splashing water on his face in hopes of driving away the remaining tiredness that he felt, Luke trudges into the little kitchen. He doesn’t expect his friends to be awake for at least a handful of hours, so it’s silent as he rummages through their hastily put-away food items. They really should have cleaned up a bit before moving everything in, he realizes, since the cupboards are dusty and he won’t be able to eat in the kitchen ever again if he finds a spider or something else unwanted. 

It wasn’t too bad, however, since all of the food they’d brought with them were packaged things in plastic wrapping or tin cans. They planned to buy groceries now and then during their stay to make _real_ meals, but the three of them could easily agree that they would inevitably eat out at restaurants most of the time. 

Cereal was an absolute necessity, though. Luke retrieves his box—they each brought their own, since they favored different ones—and a bowl from one of the cupboards. He opens the refrigerator and… 

Shit. 

Luke opens the refrigerator to find that they didn’t have any fucking milk, whatsoever. Yet another fantastic obstacle to start his day! He was sort of used to such disappointments, but it hurt nonetheless. His other options included finding something else to eat, or go out and buy something that he could stuff his face with to fill his tummy until later. 

Luke chooses the latter. 

Once he’s dressed and sure that his hair game is strong enough, he quietly exits the little beach house and strolls down the hill towards the shops and eateries in the middle of town. 

It wasn’t surprising to find other people already roaming about once he reaches the main part of town. There were locals walking their dogs and tourists hoping to get an early start to their day. It wasn’t really hard at all to distinguish between the two, either. He bets that they were _all_ smart enough to remember to buy milk for their cereal, too. 

Luke goes for the simple route and buys a cup of coffee and a few cinnamon rolls from a Starbucks that he eventually stumbles upon. Okay, so he purposely searched for a Starbucks the minute that his nose caught a whiff of the coffee bean smell, which just barely overpowered the strong, everlasting scent of the sea once he was near enough to the shop. One could never go wrong with opting out for Starbucks, and Luke was sure that he’d die if he went without it for more than a week, let alone two entire months. 

He elects to eat his breakfast by the shore, facing the gorgeous sea. When he finds a spot on the main beach that he likes, he props himself up and sits on the wooden fence that divides the line between grass and sand. It’s relatively peaceful, watching the ocean waves moving back and forth, the water gently crashing onto the sandy beach and silently retreating mere seconds later. There’s a small flock of seagulls surrounding something in the sand a few yards from where Luke is sitting, but even if one of them happened to be the evil bird that ruined his sleep not long ago, the peaceful atmosphere around him is far too strong to let anything or anyone ruin his mood. 

At the same time, however, Luke can’t help but feel a bit… sad. Or, maybe _melancholic_ would be more fitting. He’s not sure why, but sitting here alone and enjoying the world around him suddenly reminds him that his life will be different now. It’s both exciting and terrifying to know that, technically, he can do whatever he wants with his life now; but any fuck-ups will be entirely his own responsibility. University will obviously be drastically different from the system that he’s gotten used to for the last thirteen years, and after getting through university, there’s still the rest of his life to consider. 

Also, Luke suddenly realizes that he misses his mom. Yes, it is kind of pathetic, since they’d said their goodbyes a mere two days ago. For the first time, however, he realizes that he won’t see his family near as much until… well, he doesn’t even know. Of course they’re going back home for a couple of days when Christmas rolls around, just a few weeks away; but after that, he’ll only have three or four days with his family before going off to college. The same thing applied to Michael, Calum, and their respective families. 

All of the sad, mood-ruining thoughts are put to rest when Luke is startled by a distant shout. He looks up to see a band of joggers in the distance, jogging at a steady pace near the seawater. From their matching outfits, he could tell that they were all lifeguards, some of which he’d probably seen at the bar from the night before. Logically, that would also mean that Ashton was there, somewhere in the group of about twenty. Unfortunately, it was impossible for Luke to tell which one actually _was_ the cute, curly-headed guy, because they were jogging east and the sun had risen enough to block his view. 

Damn. 

Thinking about it, this whole situation was a strange mixture of being amusing and embarrassingly sad, at the same time. Here was Luke, too nervous about the idea of actually texting Ashton, yet still hoping to run into him on the beach. What was even worse was the sheer amount of times that the guy has crossed Luke’s mind already, in the short span of time since they’d met each other. Hell, for all he knew, Ashton probably hasn’t thought of him for a fraction of a second since their last meeting, and might not at all until the next time that they did. 

That was it, then, Luke resolves as he stands up and throws his trash away. From this point on, he absolutely refuses to willingly think about Ashton at all. If he _does_ think about Ashton, then it’ll only be because Ashton contacts him first. 

Definitely.

*** 

Luke fails in his quest to stop thinking about Ashton. 

“I still can’t believe it’s only been a day, _one day_ , and Luke—of all people—has already scored someone’s phone number,” Michael rants, for what seems like the fifth time ever since he’d awoken that morning. 

“And you!” he goes on, repeatedly poking Calum in the thigh to get his attention, “You got invited to a party on the very first day, yet failed to mention this detail until now.” 

Calum just sort of hums and absent-mindedly shoves Michael’s hand away, too focused on the FIFA match he’s playing against Luke. He scoots up from his laid-back position on the couch to rest his elbows on his knees, and doesn’t actually answer Michael until a few seconds have passed. 

“Oh. That’s because I’m not going,” he mumbles. 

Michael absolutely gapes at him as if he was a member of an alien species and had just spoken fluent German. 

“ _What_? Why the hell not?” 

Calum hums again, but answers quicker this time. “Eh, I decided that I wasn’t really into the girl who invited me.” 

“Oh? And why’s that? Come on, spill it already,” Michael continues to prod, and he purposely tries to screw up the other boy’s concentration by making a grab for the controller in his hands. 

That earns a whine from Calum, and he scoots further away on the couch in desperation. Since he knows that Michael won’t leave him alone until he gives him an answer, he quickly does so. 

“She called Katy Perry _mediocre_ ,” he answers, his nose scrunching up with distaste. 

Michael cringes and nods his head, apparently understanding. “That’s rough, buddy.” 

Luke was losing the FIFA match, and as much as it hurt to admit, he knew that Calum was better at the game so it didn’t come as a surprise. He never turned down an opportunity to play, though, because it was fun and he never really cared too much about trying hard to win all the time. And, after the fiasco of the previous day, it was perfectly normal to just sit around for a couple of hours to play video games and lazily surf the web. They were three eighteen-year-old boys on an unsupervised vacation, after all. Well, two eighteen-year-olds and a nineteen-year-old, since it had been Michael’s birthday a couple of weeks before. 

Suddenly, Luke gets hit in the face with a rolled up sock. 

“Hey—! What the hell was that for?” he asks, turning to give Michael a glare; horrible timing, too, because Calum’s team scores again, the other boy cheering while Luke curses under his breath. 

“You didn’t answer me,” Michael claims, although Luke doesn’t remember being asked anything at all. But, to be fair, he hadn’t really been listening. So, Michael tries again. “I said, how’s your quest for lifeguard-booty going?” 

Luke fumbles with the buttons on his controller, missing his last chance at scoring a goal. He hears Calum giggle and mutter ‘lifeguard butt’ under his breath, seemingly unaware of the fact that he’s just won the match because of Michael’s stupid, ill-timed joke. Of course the particular subject would be brought up sooner or later, whether Luke anticipated it or not. 

So much for not thinking about Ashton. 

“I’ve no idea what you mean,” he lies, despite knowing that it’s really no use anymore. 

“Luke. You and I both know that you’re a bad liar,” Michael says. “I’m just wondering how things between the two of you are going so far. You know, like a caring friend should.” 

Luke lets out a short sigh and sets the controller down, deciding that a rematch wouldn’t be much of a good idea until he could actually concentrate on the game. 

There’s a brief moment when Luke considers confessing to his friends that he actually has close to no idea what he’s doing. He doesn’t know why he wants to talk to Ashton again as soon as possible—doesn’t know why Ashton intrigues him so much, even though their first conversation was an embarrassment and their second conversation occurred when they were both tipsy. Luke really doesn’t know anything. 

Instead of admitting to all of this, he simply shrugs. 

“Oh. I don’t know,” he mutters. 

The silence stretches for a bit longer this time, and when Calum opens his mouth to speak, Luke pulls his legs up onto the armchair he’s sitting in and sort of curls into himself, because he knows what’s coming next.

“You haven’t texted him yet, have you?” Calum asks, but it’s more of a statement because even he knows that that’s the case. 

This time, Michael gapes at Luke as if _he’s_ the alien now. “ _Seriously_? Why the hell not?” 

“Stop saying that.” Luke stifles a yawn with the back of his hand, the tiredness of waking up at six in the morning finally catching up to him at last. “There… just hasn’t been a reason to?” he finishes, and snuggles further into the comfy chair as his eyelids start to sag. 

Michael snorts. “So basically, you don’t know what to say to—hey, don’t pretend you’re asleep!” 

Since he’s far too tired now to deal with this conversation topic or anything else, for that matter, Luke ignores Michael and lets himself quickly fall into a state of unconsciousness. The last thing that he registers is Calum gently reminding him that they were supposed to go out to lunch in an hour or two and explore the town, so he was allowed to rest until then. 

Luke dreams of curly hair and wide eyes that seem to look right through him. 

*** 

Two days and some hours after receiving Ashton’s phone number, Luke still hasn’t actually used it. 

It’s not as if he doesn’t want to or that he’s busy, because neither of those reasons are true. In fact, he and his friends spend most of their time lying around in the beach house. When they’re not lying around, they go to the center of town and shop or just look at random things. 

It’s kind of funny: they have all of this free time to themselves and they’re in a gorgeous environment, yet they can’t bring themselves to do much, nor can they decide what it is that they _want_ to do. Michael says the whole point of being on vacation is to sleep in and be lazy when you’re not too busy having fun, but Luke’s not really sure. 

So, yeah. Luke isn’t too busy to text Ashton, and he actually wants to—it’s just that he _can’t_. He knows he’s being dumb, every time that he opens the app on his phone and closes it again. But, he’s just not good at this whole thing, whatever this _thing_ is (or isn’t, since he hasn’t actually done anything yet). It was much easier when he was at school and he knew the people and environment around him. Obviously it’s different here, and maybe he’d gotten way ahead of himself when his mind decided that Ashton was very attractive and very cool and so Luke should _definitely_ get to know him in the two months that he’ll be here, if he expected to have the greatest time ever before his university life began. 

Right. Two short months, he reminds himself. That was the limit, so he might as well stop being ‘Luke the Schoolboy’ and make it last. 

Time to send Ashton a text. 

**To: Ashton**

(1:56 PM) _Hey it’s Luke :-)_

There. The deed has been done. Luke had even forced himself to press send before erasing it for the third time in a row. It may not seem like much, but he likes to think of it as progress. Baby steps, after all. 

What he definitely does not expect is a reply shortly after he’s sent it. 

(1:58 PM) Hi! I was wondering where you’d run off to. Good to know you haven’t drowned x 

Luke sort of just stares at the screen for a few seconds, mostly dazed that Ashton actually wondered about him, and now he’s also talking to him and Luke’s talking to Ashton and they’re talking to _each other_. But, he’s also a little offended because, seriously? 

(1:59 PM) _I didn’t text you so you just assumed that I died? Wow…_  

(2:01 PM) I’m kidding! I’d really suck at my job, if that was the case 

(2:02 PM) _So does that mean you would rescue me if I needed rescuing?_

(2:06 PM) I’ve done it before, haven’t I? :) 

Luke feels himself turning a little red. 

(2:07 PM) _Oh yeah… can we forget that that was a thing that happened?? And is it too late to start over because that wasn’t my proudest moment :-(_  

(2:09 PM) Yes Lucas, we can forget about you being stuck in a hole lol also do people usually call you Lucas? 

(2:11 PM) _Generally? No, not really… just Luke_  

(2:13 PM) And yet I’ve been calling you that this whole time but you haven’t said anything!! 

(2:14 PM) _Idk. I guess I don’t really mind that you do?_

(2:17 PM) Aw, that makes me feel special <3 Still, I won’t call you something that you don’t like. Okay Lukey?

(2:18 PM) _Okay_ _:-)_  

(2:20 PM) By the way, how old are you? like 19, 20? If you don’t mind me asking

(2:22 PM) _I don’t mind, but wrong and wrong ! I’m 18_  

(2:23 PM) Really? 

(2:25 PM) _Really… how about you? You don’t seem too ancient_

(2:26 PM) Hey now, 21 is definitely NOT ancient

(2:27 PM) _Well, I guess not :-)_  

(2:30 PM) You ‘guess’ hahaha… so, caught any nice waves yet? 

Luke blinks at the screen in utter confusion. He briefly wonders if that’s some sort of weird slang for something, until he slowly remembers… 

Oh, yeah. Ashton believes that he’s a surfer. Because intoxicated Luke had said that he was a surfer. He definitely said that. 

To Ashton.

Right. 

(2:31 PM) _Kind of, but I’ve mostly just been relaxing with friends_  

(2:32 PM) Ohhh you should keep me updated then, for now I’m back on duty! Lunch break is over xo 

(2:33 PM) _Aw :-(_ _Alright then, see you later! x_  

If Luke feels like a lonely puppy the exact moment that he realizes their relatively short conversation is over, he doesn’t admit it to himself. He has his pride to consider, after all. On the plus side, he now knows that Ashton actually wants to talk to him more through ‘updates’ and whatnot. If anything, that’s a really good sign. 

In fact, Luke suddenly feels an influx of confidence soar into his gut, immediately overshadowing the subtle loneliness that was there. He kind of feels silly for the embarrassing way that he acted about this whole thing, getting all worked up over nothing. And, hey, Calum was right. Sometimes in life, you just have to say ‘fuck it’ and do what feels right. 

So Luke does.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t see Ashton for the next couple of days. As a matter of fact, they haven’t spoken in person since the night at the bar. It’s not too bad, though, because they text each other back and forth throughout the day. Well, Luke texts Ashton, who never fails to reply back even if sometimes it’s a few hours late. In any other case, it would have started to bother Luke to always be the one to start the conversations. The insecure side of him would eventually assume that, maybe, Ashton actually didn’t want to talk to him as much as he thought that he did. 

But, Luke likes to think that he’s more rational than that. Just because he was on vacation and had a lot of time to kill doesn’t mean that the same goes for everyone else. Ashton has a job that consists of saving and protecting lives, after all, and he works most days of the week. Logically, that meant that he was usually busy during the daytime. So, when Ashton actually did get a chance to reply to Luke’s random texts, Luke was grateful. And, it wasn’t just the little butterflies in his stomach that made him feel that way. 

Most of what they talked about consisted of the stupid-yet-hilarious things that Luke got up to with his friends. Somehow, these particular topics almost always turned into a several-hours long conversation that had started out as silly but ended up with them questioning the meaning of the universe, or telling each other bizarre stories from their early childhood. 

For instance, one afternoon Luke had been dying with laughter while texting Ashton, telling him the story of how he and Calum had tried trapping Michael in the sauna at the Spa they’d visited earlier that day. This particular conversation shifted into the two of them jokingly plotting a movie in which a monster gets its power from sauna steam and can only be defeated by broccoli, and eventually results in Luke telling Ashton about the time one of his older brothers convinced him that there was a creature hiding in the steam every time he took a shower. Luke had been so terrified that he only took cold showers from then on, until he ended up getting sick. 

Basically, none of their conversations really made any sense at all, but Luke absolutely adored them. The highlight of their continuous texting was that he had discovered that Ashton was almost as weird and quirky as he was, in a way. They laughed at the same idiotic jokes and had similar tastes in music, so there was always something that they could talk about. Ashton was slowly becoming less of the intimidating-yet-hot lifeguard with the curly hair, and more of the dorky-but-still-hot lifeguard with the curly hair and sweet personality. It was kind of funny how differently you could come to see someone in just a short few days, simply by talking with them about anything and everything. 

Even so, Luke still really wanted to see Ashton. Texting was great, but the night at the bar when he had looked into Ashton’s eyes for the first time had felt… _different_. Better? Who knows. He’s not too sure what word he’s looking for, he just knows that he yearns to hang out with Ashton again. 

(12:09 PM) _Are you actually a ghost because I haven’t seen you around at all :-(_

(12:09 PM) _and yes I have been outside okay_  

(12:27 PM) Miss me? 

Yes. Absolutely, undeniably yes. 

(12:29 PM) _Not at all, whatever gave you that idea?_

(12:30 PM) _Maybe a little_

(12:32 PM) You’re such a little liar! Admit it, Lukey boy misses me :) 

(12:33 PM) _I’m not admitting that_  

(12:35 PM) Alright well I’ve gotta go now. Bye! x 

(12:36 PM) _Wait don’t go, I miss you :-(_  

(12:37 PM) Well that was easy lol Aw, Luke… I’m blushing <3 

(12:39 PM) _Damn you_  

(12:40 PM) Haha xo

(12:42 PM) Anyways, I’ve just been busy lately, we’ve got a few newbies so I’ve had to show them around and get them settled etc. also there’s some drills we’re doing that my buddy was supposed to be the leader of today and yesterday but his wife went into labor so I took over and fucked myself with the workload! :( sorry that was a lot 

(12:44 PM) _Omg that must be really fucking hectic… shit, I’m sorry if I’ve been annoying you :-(_  

(12:47 PM) Oh hush, you’re not annoying at all. I feel a little better now actually and we’re just about through with the drills! And then I’m back to my normal schedule 

(12:48 PM) _What do you have to do anyway? During the drills and stuff_

(12:50 PM) It’s kind of hard to explain, we do a bunch of things… you can come watch if you want, we’re at Clarkes beach :) 

Luke has never thrown on a pair of jeans and a shirt faster than he does right now. Just before he heads out the front door, he hears Calum ask something from inside the kitchen, prompting him to reply with a shout that he’ll be back soon. 

Hopefully not too soon, if the odds are in his favor. 

It takes a bit of a jog to get there from where their beach house is located, but Luke makes it in about twelve minutes, a sense of joy arising in his chest when he sees that Ashton is still there. The feeling sort of bursts into full-blown euphoria when Ashton eventually sees him standing there under a distant tree, and sends a smile and a wave in Luke’s direction. 

Naturally, Luke has no idea what he’s watching. There’s a bunch of whistling going on and various hand signals that the lifeguards repeatedly gesture back and forth to one another. But, to be honest, even if he did have a single clue as to what all of this meant, Luke wasn’t _really_ watching, anyway. He was mostly staring at Ashton, who was standing with his back to Luke as he gave directions to his fellow teammates. A fantastic view, if he was truthful. 

In a way, it was really fucking sexy. Luke may have been completely clueless to what they were doing, but it fascinates him to sit there and just watch Ashton take charge of things. Maybe it was weird, but he got the feeling that if Ashton ever told him to do something in that same tone of voice, he’d eagerly get right to doing it. It was when Luke began pondering if, perhaps, he had some sort of hidden away kink for being told what to do that Ashton finally approaches him. The sudden appearance startles Luke, and he hopes that his face doesn’t give away all of the unholy thoughts that had suddenly filled his mind with graphic images. 

“Hi,” comes Ashton’s soft greeting, a significant contrast to the orders he had been shouting a mere minute prior. And, Luke might be wrong, but he dares to think that the smile on Ashton’s face appears a little bashful. 

 _Fuck_. He’s being really cute on purpose, he has to be. 

It just wasn’t fair at all. 

“Hey,” Luke manages, and he hopes that his own smile isn’t too guilty. 

“I only have about five minutes before I need to be somewhere, but I’m glad you came.” 

“Oh.” 

And just like that, Luke starts to feel a little lonely again, though he tries not to let his disappointment show. He had really been hoping that they could talk for a lot longer, since this was technically only their third meeting. And, if he was honest, he’d nearly forgotten what Ashton’s voice had sounded like. Just nearly. Sure, he could have simply called him, but phone calls weren’t exactly Luke’s forte unless he’s known the person for a long time, and he didn’t want to appear annoying. Besides, text messages could be answered any time. 

“So, what did you think?” Ashton asks.

It takes a second, but Luke puts his selfish feelings aside and tries to make the best of this, for now. 

“Oh, um, it was great. Interesting, too. I really liked the… thing with hand signs?” 

Ashton nods slowly, but apparently he can’t control himself any longer, an abrupt laughter filling his lungs. The crinkles by his eyes and the blossoming dimples remind Luke of how he’d somehow managed to make Ashton laugh even harder before, during that night at the bar. Last time he had felt embarrassed; this time, however, it feels _really_ good. 

“It’s okay,” Ashton reassures him. “You don’t have to pretend to know what the hell just happened.” 

Luke makes a show of dramatically sighing with relief. “Good, because I’m not that great at it.”

And then they’re doing that _thing_ again, where they just sort of… stare at each other with joint interest and, even more so, a feeling of curiosity. Yes, they’ve been texting almost nonstop for days, but there’s still so much that they don’t know about each other. It’s exciting to imagine the amount of things you can learn about someone, and no matter how much you discover, there will always be more to uncover. But, it all depends on whether or not they let you discover those things. 

Ashton’s question is the only thing that breaks the short-lived silence.

“When’d you get them?” 

“Hm?” 

“The piercings.” 

As if conscious of their presence for the first time, Luke sucks in the left side of his bottom lip where his piercing rests and simultaneously glances up towards his right brow. 

“Oh,” he starts. “The lip ring I got last year because, well, just because. This one,” he says while pointing to his brow, “was sometime after my birthday, a few months ago… It was a bet.” 

Ashton grins, intrigued. “Oh yeah? What was the bet?” 

“That I could eat twenty bowls of ice cream,” Luke answers truthfully. 

“Did you...?” 

Luke shakes his head, the disappointment from that day still quite fresh. “No, I only ate seventeen, so the piercing was my punishment. I’d been thinking about getting one already, so it wasn’t a big deal.” 

Ashton giggles a little, so Luke quickly adds, “Now, the ones on my nipples are an entirely different story. I don’t think _anyone_ should have to hear the tale of how I got those…” 

“What? Wait, I don’t remember you having any nipple piercings when I dug you out of that hole!” 

“I’m joking—and hey, you promised to forget about that ever happening!” 

Ashton clamps a hand over his mouth, feigning innocence. “Oops?” he mutters. 

And… 

Seriously? 

He is _definitely_ doing this on purpose. There’s no doubt about it now. 

“Would you ever actually consider getting one?” he then asks. 

“A nipple ring? Um.” Luke thinks to himself for a moment, because the act had never crossed his mind before now. “I don’t know? I mean, who knows what future-me will be into. So… yeah, it’s a possibility.” 

Ashton slowly nods. “Understandable. They are quite sexy, though, aren’t they?” 

“You think so?” 

“Mhmm,” Ashton hums with a grin. “Definitely sexy. But, I think piercings in general are sexy, so I may or may not be a little biased.” 

 _Oh_. 

That’s… interesting, to say the least. Luke licks his lips, the tip of his tongue swiftly dragging across the ring there. Ashton’s gorgeous eyes eagerly follow the movement, just as Luke hoped that they would, and he feels like this is it. This is obviously his cue to ask the guy out. If all the flirtation that’s been going on between them in the past few days is anything to go by, Ashton is most likely into him. That has to be it. And _this_ has to be Luke’s chance. 

As soon as he opens his mouth to speak, however, a voice in the distance shouts to get Ashton’s attention. 

“Crap, looks like my time’s up,” Ashton says hurriedly. He yells back to the other lifeguard, letting them know he’ll catch up in a second, but his eyes never leave Luke’s. 

“Listen,” he rushes out, “tomorrow’s my day off so me and a few buddies were gonna have a bit of fun, do some surfing. You should definitely join us.” 

Luke instantly wants to say yes—he had wanted to ask Ashton out for a while, but now Ashton is basically asking _him_ out, holy shit—and he’s about to do so when reality chooses now to slap him across the face. 

Because, oh right. 

He _can’t_ surf. Like, at all. Not a single fucking day in his life has he been able to surf. And, to top it all off, Ashton still believes that he _can_. 

Well, shit. He’ll just have to say no. It’s not that big of a deal. 

Except, Luke has never really been too good at that. 

“I, uh, are you… are you sure?” he stutters nervously. “I mean, I don’t know, I wouldn’t want to, like… intrude on your time with your friends.”

Ashton dismisses the lie faster than Luke was able to come up with it. “Don’t worry, I know they won’t mind you being there.” 

“…But—” 

“I want you to come, Luke.” 

“Okay,” he submits with relative ease, and damn his earlier statement about wanting to do whatever Ashton told him to. 

“Fuck yeah! Can’t wait.” Ashton’s grin is wider than ever now, and he quickly begins to make his way toward wherever it was that he was needed. “It’ll be at Whites Beach, but don’t worry about getting there, I’ll text you later about the time and place we’ll meet, okay? See ya, Luke!” he calls over his shoulder. 

Luke sort of just stays there under the tree, frozen in shock. 

He has definitely fucked himself over, this time. 

***

“I need you to punch me in the face.” 

Michael glances up from his laptop, a brow quirked in bewilderment at Luke’s ridiculous suggestion. Obviously he’s not that interested, as shown by how he quickly goes back to doing whatever the hell he’d been doing on the computer. 

“Punch yourself in the face, I’m kind of busy here,” he says distractedly. 

“Come on, it’ll only take a second—just, don’t aim for my nose. I like my nose.” 

“Jesus, Luke. You’re not dreaming, okay? Now stop asking us to punch you,” Michael laughs, giving the frantic blonde a bit more attention than before. “Is it really that bad?” 

“Yes! It is that bad! It’s a fucking _nightmare_ ,” Luke groans. He resumes nervously pacing back and forth across the living room floor, his sweaty hands tugging at his scalp in frustration for the hundredth time now. 

“You’re pulling your hair out, you know,” Calum comments. 

While Luke was about to have some sort of heart attack, Calum was completely chill in comparison. He was lying back against the couch with his hands behind his head and a cozy expression on his face as if he wasn’t plagued by a single worry. And, he probably wasn’t, because he hadn’t been a total jackass and lied about something simple that was turning into something _really_ complicated now. Unlike a certain someone. 

“Seriously, Luke, at this rate you’ll go bald before Mikey does.” 

Michael rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Blow me, Calum.” 

“Only if you do me first,” he shoots back. 

“ _Guys_ ,” Luke interrupts, because at this point, he seriously thinks that he might be having some sort of breakdown. “I’m serious! I really need your help, here. What should I do?” 

Calum shrugs. “I already told you my idea. Just pretend to be sick, say something like… we went for a swim at night, and you stayed in the water too long? We’ll cover for you, if we need to.” 

“Nah, that’s too easy,” Michael intervenes, shaking his head, “Luke’s a big boy now, we gotta let him handle this on his own.” He looks up again at Luke, a sort of smug expression on his face as he goes on, “Either tell Ashton that you lied, or simply say that you don’t want to go. Although, the latter would involve more lying and I don’t think you want that, seeing as how lying got you into this in the first place.” 

“You’re being a dick,” Luke scowls. 

“No, I’m being realistic.” Michael pauses, sighing. When he speaks again, this time it’s with a gentler tone. “Look, I really do want to help you, I just don’t know any other way that you can get out of this? If I did, I’d tell you. But, whatever you decide to do, just know that it’s easier to do it now than later… trust me.” 

Well, that didn’t really help at all. Luke wanted advice, but not from Yoda or whoever the fuck. The worst part was that he really had no one to blame but himself. He’d gotten himself into this mess, after all. Which is ironic, since he’s usually the most sensible one out of their trio. Sometimes, though, he royally fucked up just like any other teenager would. It wasn’t as if he could help it, right? 

He had only wanted to impress Ashton, had wanted to be liked by him. To be honest, he’d just wanted to be _liked_ , period. And, yeah, people back home liked him, once they got to know him. But he’d wanted to be different when they came here. Not, like, too different to where he wasn’t even being himself, but different enough so that people would think he’s cool and fun, not the awkward boy that he actually is. 

Now, the only thing he wants is a way to fix this before it gets even worse. 

“To be honest, I think you should go,” Calum speaks up, shaking Luke from his thoughts. 

Luke frowns. “What? Why? I don’t even have a surfboard, let alone the _ability_ to surf…” 

“Rent one, then. You’ve been wanting to hang out with Ashton, right? So do it. Who knows, it could be fun. And, it’s not like you ever claimed to be _good_ at surfing. Besides, how hard could it be?” 

“But…” 

Calum shakes his head. “Luke, remember what I said before? Sometimes you just have to say ‘fuck it’ and go?” 

“Yeah, and it didn’t work so well last time,” he mumbles. 

“Did too. You ended up getting his number, which never would’ve happened if I had let you sit there and stare at him from afar, all night long.” 

“…I guess that’s true.” Luke exhales a defeated sigh and allows his friend to pull him down onto the couch. He appreciates the encouraging words almost as much as he appreciates the subtle cuddling, but the anxiousness doesn’t go away and he knows that it won’t until tomorrow, when he meets his fate. It was crazy, but a part of him actually does want to go, just to see Ashton. 

“Great, now that that’s dealt with, we can go get dinner! God, I’m fucking starving.” Michael shuts the laptop and sets it on the little coffee table before him. When he stands, he stretches with a satisfied grin, “Plus, it’s my turn to pick tonight’s restaurant.” 

Only now does Luke notice that the anxious feeling in his tummy was partly due to hunger. Food would be a great distraction, not that it would last long. Still, anything was better than nothing. 

“Okay,” Luke mutters, “but, we really should go shopping soon so that we can stop eating out every night.” 

This was fine, Luke tells himself. Perhaps he really is making a big deal out of nothing. If he stays cool, then maybe things will go in his favor, for once. He’ll figure out what to do when the time comes. 

Yeah. He just has to stop worrying so much. After all, how hard could surfing be?

*** 

Several hours and a hectic morning later, Luke’s not sure how long he can keep pretending to himself that there was no real need to worry. 

He’d decided to follow Calum’s advice and just go with it. But, it took him longer than necessary to rent a surfboard—something he couldn’t recall having to do before—and almost ended up late to the spot that Ashton had said they’d pick him up at. When Ashton inquired as to why he needed to rent one since, you know, _obviously_ he should’ve had his own because he’s a ‘surfer’ and therefore would’ve brought one with him on vacation, Luke had to produce yet another lie about his own board being damaged. Lying to Ashton again made him feel bad. 

Well, _worse_ , since he already felt bad to begin with. 

Another thing that kept him on the edge was the amount of people going with them. Ashton had said a ‘few friends’, which Luke naturally assumed meant three or four. However, there were nine people total, not including himself. They traveled the short distance to Whites Beach in multiple vehicles, and Luke, of course, rode in the same car as Ashton. Some English guy named Liam was driving, and sitting in the back with them was a rather cute girl with really long dark hair that kind of reminds Luke of Calum’s sister. Her name was either Eva or Ella or maybe something entirely different, but by the time Ashton had introduced him to literally everyone, Luke was far too busy trying to calm his nerves to remember names. 

They arrive after about fifteen minutes, stopping along a dirt road. Ashton explains that the beach is rather secluded, and that to get there they have to walk along a dirt trail. Apparently, they’re likely to have the beach entirely to themselves, at this hour. It used to be that only the locals knew of the remote location, but tourists have started to venture there for some time now. 

As soon as they get out of the car, Ashton pulls him to the side. “What’s wrong?” he asks, “You’ve been pretty quiet. Are you feeling okay?” 

Last chance to get out of this?

Probably.  

“Yeah… Ashton, I—” 

Liam cuts him off from the other side of the car. “Hey, Ash, I could use a hand here!” he laughs, struggling with removing the boards from atop the roof. 

“Alright, alright! I’m coming.” Ashton smiles at Luke once more and gives him a reassuring squeeze on the arm before he goes to help. 

Soon enough, Luke finds himself following the small group of friends as they make their way along the dirt trail and down to the beach. Eventually, the trees make way for a view that’s even more breathtaking than the one seen from his bedroom window, back at the beach house. 

Spread out just below is the gorgeous beach, the waves crashing fiercely against the white sand. A heap of excited shouts and laughter are already sounding from Ashton and his friends as they race each other to the water, Luke almost getting left behind. Maybe it’s just his paranoia, but never before has he seen the tide with this much strength. It’s almost intimidating, standing there and watching as the waves plow into the sharp rocks that decorate the relatively small area. 

“How much are we talking?” Luke overhears when he manages to catch up to Ashton, who was standing in a circle with Liam and yet another English guy named Louis. Luke was curious to find out how Ashton met and befriended them and the others, but he didn’t ask. Anyway, the three of them wore such serious expressions that it almost had him worried.

“Depends on how big it is,” Ashton answers Liam in an equally pensive tone.

“Hah, I bet you’re used to hearing that answer. Aren’t you, Liam?” Louis comments, his brows raised in a manner that suggests he was teasing the other. 

Both of them burst into a mini fit of giggles while Liam only looks slightly annoyed at something. Then, with great dignity, he straightens his posture and gives a curt nod. 

“Alright, it’s a deal,” he says. 

In the blink of an eye, Liam begins making his way towards the fierce waves. 

“Now, _that’s_ what I’m talking about!” Louis shouts with exuberance, “A bit of guts is all it takes.”

And then he’s off, as well. 

More than confused as ever, Luke stays back and questions what he’s even _doing_ here in the first place. He doesn’t feel like he belongs nor does he actually fit in, and it’s a bit overwhelming. 

“Man, he’s gonna regret that,” Ashton murmurs from beside him. 

Luke tilts his head in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“Oh, Louis and I bet against Liam being able to catch a bigger wave than us, and ride it out successfully.”

“You don’t think that he can?” 

Ashton looks at Luke in a way that tells him what he’d just said must have been absolutely absurd. 

“No one knows waves better than I do, Lukey boy. No one.” 

With a smirk, Ashton follows in the others’ footsteps and runs to greet the seawater; they were the only ones of the whole group that remained close to shore, by now. 

“Coming?” he shouts back at Luke. 

Luke grips his board and forces his feet to carry him to the water. 

He can do this. No problem. 

Actually getting _on_ the board is the first obstacle that proves to be difficult, but he manages it without embarrassing himself, since no one was really looking in his direction. Staying balanced on it, however, takes a bit of concentration. 

Since Luke’s never been surfing before, he doesn’t really expect it when they all just sort of… float around in the ocean, most of the time. Once in a while, someone rides out to meet a wave that they deem worthy enough. The others laugh and make jokes to pass the time, talking about previous visits to the beach and other things that Luke can’t contribute to, since he obviously wasn’t there. 

It’s fine, though, because he’s content with listening to the banter between Ashton and his friends. Also, he notices that Ashton keeps turning to look at him. Whenever Luke catches this and their eyes lock, he receives a soft smile before Ashton looks away again. 

“This one’s mine!” Louis yells, already paddling out to catch the wave he’s chosen. 

And, damn, the guy’s pretty good at it, too. Luke doesn’t know much about waves, but he’s pretty sure that that one had been rather large. He sort of wishes that he was just as skilled or even better, because it looks like so much _fun_ and everyone earns a cheer whenever it’s their turn.

Even so, Luke tries his best to stay out of the way. He isn’t sure whether he can even stand up on the board without falling over, let alone ride a wave. Thus, his tactic is to remain invisible. As long as the attention is off of him, everything should go exactly as planned. 

Of course, it doesn’t last for long. 

“Watch and learn, boys and girls,” Ashton says with an air of superiority. 

And everyone does. All eyes seem to be on him as he catches the next wave, because his every movement is done with such grace and ease. Luke wonders why the hell he chose to be a lifeguard and not a famous surfer or something. It’s almost hypnotizing, and Luke doesn’t think he’s ever been more attracted to anyone than right now in this moment. If only Ashton could ride _him_ like that someday. 

This guy was probably going to be the death of him. 

Afterwards, when Ashton has rejoined them, he doesn’t waste any time and paddles directly over to Luke. 

“Let me see what you’ve got,” he says with a wide grin. 

Oh god. 

Goddammit, _shit shit shit._  

“I… I’m not as good as you,” Luke tries. And fails, of course. 

Ashton simply shrugs. “I don’t care, I just wanna see you surf. Go for it.” 

Ashton was giving him _that_ look and Luke’s not even sure when it became a look that he recognizes in the first place, or why he knew that it meant he was definitely going to have to go through with this, now. But it did. 

 _Just stay calm_ , Luke tells himself.

Luke could do this, he was positive, this time. He’d been watching the others for the past half hour or so; he has a general idea on how it was done. 

All that it took was a bit of courage and concentration on his part.

Right. 

Luke was lying on his stomach and paddling before he could change his mind and realize that, yes, this was a fucking insane thing to do. Fuck it, though. He was going to try, goddammit. 

Without warning, he feels a wave begin to rise beneath him and he knows that this is the point where he should get ready to stand. His heart is thumping so loudly against his chest that it nearly drowns out the numerous sounds around him. With a final thought and the rush of adrenaline flowing through his veins, he stands on wobbling legs. And then… 

Holy shit. 

He was _actually_ doing it. Luke Hemmings had caught the wave and was legitimately _surfing_ , and— 

And now the current was leading him straight into the bed of sharp rocks near the shore. 

Luke doesn’t know how to stop— _can’t_ stop, nor is he given any time to think before he’s literally being ripped from his board. The last thing that he remembers is the sheer force of the ocean, spinning him round and _holding_ him underneath the water before everything goes black. 

What felt like a stretch between five seconds and five years later, Luke begins to feel the pressure of something heavy against his chest. All he knows is that it _hurts_ , it fucking hurts so much and he wants it to stop. His whole body is aching and it feels like there was needles in his lungs—only then does he realize that it’s because he’s coughing. Why _is_ he coughing so much? Had he been choking? Who knows, but it was more painful than any other thing he’s ever experienced before. Luke isn’t even sure where he was, and for a moment, that scares him more than anything. 

His eyes shoot open in a state of panic and when his vision is able to focus on his surroundings, the first thing that he sees is a mess of wet curls and wide, hazel eyes. 

“Luke!” he hears, and although he knows it’s coming from directly above him, it sounds so far away. 

“Luke, look at me,” the voice repeats, and—oh, he knows that voice. It’s Ashton’s voice, and Ashton is the one kneeling above him. 

When he attempts to speak, he’s coughing up water again and Ashton carefully turns him back onto his side. Once again the pain is wrecking through his body, and it’s another moment before he’s able to properly breathe again. Luke doesn’t recall where the towel draped on his shoulders came from, when it was put there or by whom; but, he’s grateful for it when he starts to shiver a little. 

“Jesus Christ, kid. What were you _thinking_? You don’t just dive right into a fucking bed of rocks!” Louis exclaims. 

“Louis, please,” Liam sighs, and when he turns to look down at Luke, his eyes are sympathetic. “Are you alright?” he asks. 

For the first time, Luke notices that everyone else had been either standing or kneeling around him, not just Ashton. Suddenly, he’s hit with a pang of humiliation when he remembers exactly what happened to cause him to be in this current state. No doubt they all witnessed his fall, and he wondered how terrible he must look, right now. 

“Give him some room,” Ashton orders, and everyone immediately obeys. 

That’s when Luke turns his head to look at Ashton again, but what he sees this time is an unreadable expression on the other’s face. He’s not sure what it means, what _any_ of this means for the two of them, but obviously it’s the opposite of good. If he could guess, he’d say that he has totally fucked things up in the most horrific way. 

“You’re not really a surfer, are you, Luke?” Ashton says, because it’s obviously a statement, not a question. 

Luke gulps nervously, a feeling that burns in his throat, and he shakes his head. 

“No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do cliffhangers hang from cliffs? The world may never know.


	3. Surfing 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the great comments, you guys are snazzy. Keep doin' what you're doin'. (I almost published this at midnight, I was so excited to do so.) Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

* * *

 

It was safe to say that having a near-death experience dramatically affects a person. They might become more cautious of their surroundings, or they may view life in an entirely different way than before. Some people even choose to drastically change themselves, interpreting their survival as a chance to start over. 

Luke, however, decides that it would be best for everyone if he’d just stay in his bed for the rest of _forever_. 

Upon making sure that Luke was alright and his life wasn’t in any danger, Ashton hadn’t said another word to him after that. Not a single word during the drive back from Whites Beach, nor when he helped Luke walk to the front door of the beach house. He simply explained what had happened to Michael and Calum, and then he was gone. 

Luke had spent the rest of the day resting in bed. There were only a few minor cuts on his body from when he fell against the rocks, and even though he could still hear the ocean in his ears, the pain was minimal until it eventually subsided completely. He was glad for that, too; if it had been worse, he would have had to go to the hospital and his family would’ve been notified. That would’ve ruined everyone’s vacations, no doubt about it. 

It would’ve sucked even more if he had died. So there was that, too.  

The only reason that Luke _hadn’t_ died was because Ashton had rescued him. Again. Well, his life wasn’t really in danger the first time, but it still counted. Thinking about it only fills Luke’s chest with more pain, but this time for an entirely different reason. 

Ashton must hate him now. 

Luke hadn’t thought considered that at first. When he was brought back to the beach house, his two best friends had helped him into bed, then the three of them basically just cuddled for the rest of the day. Michael and Calum let him sleep for a while and when he awoke, they ate dinner in bed together. Luke had to eat soup and crackers because his throat was still sensitive, while the other two boys had ordered take-out. Normally he would have complained, but all that he felt in that moment was gratitude. He hadn’t wanted to be left alone at the time, so they didn’t leave him. 

However, things were different when he’d awoken today. Luke had sort of gotten used to texting Ashton in the mornings during those few days of contact, so when he woke up to zero new messages, he felt rather empty. He had lied to Ashton, hurt himself in the process, and now the guy hated him. That had to be it. It made sense, really, and he should have expected this. It still hurt, nonetheless. 

So, Luke decides to spend this day in bed, too. It was working so far, except for when he had to use the bathroom and his stomach grumbled painfully from hunger. Going back to sleep helped with the latter problem, but the pain only worsened when he eventually woke up again.

He kind of expects it when, eventually, there’s a knock at the door. 

“Luke?” Michael calls from the other side of the wooden door. “Are you awake?” 

“No,” Luke groans from beneath the sheets. 

He hears the hinges of the door squeak as it’s opened, and a pair of feet that pitter-patter across the wooden floor to stop at the side of his bed. 

“Right. Well, I made you a cheese toastie.” 

That sparks his curiosity, and immediately afterwards his nose is being attacked by the delicious smell of melted cheese filled between slices of toasted bread. Almost in a childlike manner, Luke peeks out from beneath the fabric. 

 _Very_ _suspicious_ … 

“Is this a trick?” he asks warily. 

Michael’s eyes nearly fall out of his sockets from how hard he rolls them. “Wow. So I can’t make my best friend something to eat when he’s down? You wound me, Luke.” 

Luke lets out a tired sigh. “I’m sorry. I just—I’m not that hungry…” 

“You’re a liar. Now eat the damn sandwich before I do.” 

Michael plops down on the edge of the bed, obviously meaning that he doesn’t plan to leave any time soon. With a huff, Luke sits up and gingerly takes the plate from him. It really does look delicious and his stomach is tying itself into knots from being so close to satisfaction. He slowly raises the sandwich to his mouth and takes a bite. And then another. 

“See, I knew you were hungry,” Michael says, a small grin playing at his lips. “It’s good, right?” 

Luke nods, chewing slowly to savor the taste. “Mhmm… thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“You’re right, though,” Luke mutters after a moment of silence. 

“About?” 

“Me being a liar.” 

Michael simply blinks, and then he’s sighing in a way that usually means he’s gathering his thoughts before carefully speaking. 

“You do realize that everyone lies, right? The same way that everyone makes mistakes,” he begins, and then adds with a smirk, “Everybody has those days, and nobody’s perfect.” 

Luke almost can’t believe his ears. “You’re seriously quoting Hannah Montana.” 

“Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing. But, that’s not the point I’m trying to make.” Michael clears his throat and raises his legs up onto the bed, sitting further into the mattress. “My point is, you fucked up. And, that’s okay, you know? You just have to start thinking about how you can fix things, now.” 

Luke finishes the first half of the sandwich, so he picks up the other half and begins nibbling. His voice is slightly muffled when he says, “Ashton hates me now and I humiliated myself in front of everyone.” 

“Humiliating yourself? Yes. Ashton hating you? I highly doubt it.” 

“And why’s that?” Luke questions, his brows knit together in a subtle frown. 

Michael chuckles. “Dude. Aside from the fact that he’s only known you for a week, it’s literally impossible for anyone to hate you. You’re like… you’re like a goddamn Pikachu.” 

“You used to hate me,” Luke mutters. 

“And then I stopped being an immature little shit and we became best friends. Ta-daa.” Michael spreads his arms for emphasis and makes a silly face. He doesn’t stop until he manages to get at least a small laugh out of Luke. 

“Anyway, Ashton saved your life, brought you here, and told us, like, five times to keep an eye on you. He may be pissed at you, but I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.” 

Luke immediately looks back up at his friend when he hears that, and now he’s kind of confused. 

“He told you guys to watch me? I don’t remember hearing him say anything like that…” 

“Eh, you were pretty out of it, to be honest. I guess he just wanted to make sure that you were in good hands before he left? But, obviously no one’s better at taking care of you than Cal and I.” 

Luke doesn’t respond. He finishes the cheese toastie in a few more bites and sets the plate on the drawer next to the bed, then he’s kind of just roaming his own thoughts for a minute or two. Even though Ashton didn’t speak to him the rest of the time that they were in each other’s presence, he had still been worried about Luke. Back at the beach, Luke had had to tell everyone at least twenty times that he was okay, since they were all so persistent. Still, after all of that, Ashton had… cared. A lot, apparently. 

That sort of lifts his hopes, just a bit. 

“So… so if I apologize and thank him, do you think he’ll forgive me?” he asks timidly. 

Michael nods. “I think so, yeah. You have to actually try first, though.” 

“Sooner rather than later?” 

“Exactly.” 

They stare at each other for a moment with dumb grins plastered on their faces. 

“I guess this is the part where you’re supposed to hug me and I let you cry on my shoulder. You know, that sort of thing you see in the movies,” Michael teases with a wink. 

Luke snorts. “I refuse to cry on your shoulder, thanks.” 

He readily accepts the hug, though, letting his friend cuddle up with him under the sheets. 

“Are you guys _seriously_ having a cuddle session without me?” 

They glance up to find Calum standing in the door way, leaning against the frame with a comical expression of betrayal. A wide grin spreads on Luke’s face and he has to bite his bottom lip to keep from laughing. 

“Go away, Calum, no one likes you,” Michael deadpans. 

Calum pretends to dramatically weep, then, and Luke can’t help the giggles that escape him. God, he really loves his idiotic friends. He loves them more than anything. 

“Get over here already,” he says, but almost immediately regrets it when Calum takes the opportunity to literally sprint into the room and nose dives onto the mattress. Luke’s legs are getting crushed and there’s an elbow in the right side of his right pelvis, but he’d rather feel the weight of his friends than be a rotting corpse at the bottom of the ocean. 

The three of them cuddle in near-silence for a short while, and Luke has to admit that he’s rather content. He could definitely go for more food, of course, but at least his tummy has something in it and it’s no longer trying to eat itself. It’s the middle of the day, his room is nice and warm, and resting has really done a good job at making his body feel so _cozy_. His best friends snuggling against him helps, too. 

“Luke?” Calum lifts his head from where it was resting on the Luke’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for encouraging you to go yesterday…” 

Luke smiles and rolls his eyes at the same time, because really, this was probably the fourth time that Calum was apologizing to him. He’s already tried to explain that it wasn’t his friend’s fault that he nearly drowned, since obviously Luke should’ve stopped with the lies before they spun out of control. He shouldn’t have lied in the first place, but it’s in the past now and he’d been kind of drunk at the time. So, it is what it is. 

“It’s okay, now stop apologizing. And, to be honest, I probably would have ended up going, anyway. It was… fun, while it lasted.” 

It goes silent again, a few seconds passing before Calum lets out a short sigh. 

“So. He’s a pretty good surfer, huh?” 

“Wicked good,” Luke huffs in disbelief. Even though he didn’t want to think about the events of the previous day, the image of Ashton swiftly gliding amongst the waves as if he’d owned them kept replaying over and over again in his mind. 

“Damn,” Calum whistles, impressed. “If you hadn’t already called dibs and if I wasn’t mostly straight, I’d be chasing after that. I mean, lifeguard _and_ surfer? Sounds hot as fuck.” 

“I—oh my god, Calum.” Luke covers his mouth with a hand to hide his squealing, his friend’s absurd statement making him laugh all over again. 

“I’m just saying! Like, _come on_ , you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t be thinking the same thing, even if you weren’t bisexual and were instead as straight as an iron rod. The dude is hot, okay.” 

“You two are fucking idiots,” Michael groans. He suddenly shoots up into a sitting position when he remembers something, and then he’s pointing at Luke. “Fuck, I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. Guess what happened to Calum yesterday!” 

Luke sees Calum’s eyes go wider than the moon and he starts rapidly shaking his head. 

“ _Don’t_.” 

Michael starts anyway. “So, we went to the grocery store while you were at the beach, and afterwards we stopped by Starbucks…” 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Calum shouts repeatedly, plugging his fingers into his ears like a five-year-old. His efforts prove futile, because Michael’s voice is louder and so he simply talks over him. 

“…And Calum gets into this deep conversation with a really gorgeous girl there, after she compliments his tattoos—she has a few tats herself, so you see where I’m going with this—anyway, she’s about to leave, right? But, not before making sure that Calum can contact her, just in case they want to ‘hang out’ and ‘talk more about tattoos’. Then…” 

“Michael Clifford is a jealous liar!” Calum yells. 

“…She stands up to go and I swear to god, she’s got, like, four or five inches on him! It was as if Calum was standing next to one of those Amazon women in Greek mythology, or some shit.” 

Calum groans loudly and Luke feels a little bad for the way he immediately starts laughing. Just a little. He has to force himself to calm down so that he can speak properly when he turns to face his pouting friend. 

Luke pokes Calum in the ribs and says, “Oh, come on, a girl being taller than you isn’t the worst thing in the world. Did you at least accept her number?” 

“Of course I did,” Calum huffs, his arms crossed defiantly on his chest. “I’m not stupid.” 

Well, that answers Luke’s question. 

Eventually, Luke stops being lazy and removes himself from the cocoon that is his bedroom. He even takes a long shower since he really needed one, and ends up feeling much better than he had earlier that morning. After eating a little snack once he begins to grow hungry again, he knows what he should do next— _wants_ to do next, but it’s still scary to actually take the first step. 

Luke has to call Ashton and try to fix things. 

It should’ve been simple, but it wasn’t. He hasn’t thought of a single word that he wants to say, _if_ Ashton decides to even talk to him. Luke knows that the guy deserves an apology as well as an explanation, but he wants to do it in person. That’s the correct way to go about these kinds of things, right? An apology via text message was way too casual and not good enough, there’s no way he’d be taken seriously; and, Luke sucked even more at making phone calls. 

The problem is that he has absolutely no idea where Ashton is, so he couldn’t just go and see him. Ashton could’ve been on duty at the beach or somewhere else completely unknown. They’d have to meet somewhere, and to do that, they’d have to make an arrangement. 

Fine. Luke can do this. He’s nervous as fuck and highly doubts that Ashton will reply to him, but it can be done. 

**To: Ashton**

(3:52 PM) _Ashton, I know that I’ve been a total jackass and that I’m probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but I’d just like to say that I am really, really sorry :-( If you’re still reading this, I’d also like to ask if we could meet somewhere, sometime? If you don’t want to, then okay… I just feel like you deserve an explanation and a better apology than this_

Luke lets out a shaky breath, his thumb hovering over the send button before he finally presses it. 

It sucks. He sucks. Everything sucks, but he had re-typed the message at least five times so this was the best that he could do. If Ashton really does choose to ignore him, well then, shit. That was that. At least he could say that he tried, not that doing so made him feel any better at the possibility of being flat-out ignored. 

So, he waits. 

And waits. 

God, it was tortuous. 

(4:22 PM) The Pass Café. I’ll be here for fifteen minutes 

Luke’s heart leaps in his chest at the notification, and it continues to do so when he reads the message over and over again. There isn’t any time to celebrate, though, so he quickly leaves the beach house and makes his way to the café before Ashton leaves, and he probably won’t be given another chance if that happens. 

Luke isn’t sure how fast he ends up getting there, but when he stumbles up the steps to the café entrance with his lungs burning and his legs feeling as if they’d just done a mini work-out, he’s more than glad when he looks around and spots Ashton sitting at a small table in the outside seating area, opposite of where Luke’s standing. Luke is suddenly aware that his hair is probably shitty-looking now and he’s about to start sweating from nervousness, if not from the quick run there; but, he takes a couple of deep breaths and does his best not to embarrass himself. 

“Um, hi,” he says quietly when he approaches the table.

Ashton glances up from the screen of his phone, a there’s this look in his eyes that Luke can’t quite figure out. It’s gone just as quickly as it appeared. 

“Well? Sit down, then,” Ashton says, because Luke is awkwardly hovering next to the table. It’s not that he’s trying to make things awkward, he just doesn’t feel welcomed and it’s obviously his own fault. 

Nonetheless, Luke takes a seat in the chair across from Ashton. The way that Ashton’s large hazel eyes basically stare into his soul has Luke feeling tongue-tied, but he knows what he came here for. It’d be easier if he simply concentrated on that, and got it over with. 

“Okay, well, I’ll just say it so that I don’t waste any more of your time,” Luke begins, and it’s probably not a good start, because Ashton quirks a brow. “I… I’m really sorry, Ash—” 

“For what?” Ashton cuts him off, the tone of his voice suddenly cold. “For lying to me? Or, for nearly getting yourself killed and almost giving me a heart attack in the process?” 

Luke cringes at the other’s words, because yeah, he deserved that. “Both, and everything in between. I’m sorry for pretending to be a surfer, for causing you to worry, and for basically ruining your time with your friends. I really fucked up, I know… and I’m _sorry_.” 

Luke is basically holding his breath, because he’s not sure what Ashton will do or say next. Who knows if he’ll say anything at all, instead deciding that none of this was worth his time so he might as well get up and walk away. Luke dreads the possibility of that happening. Absolutely _dreads_ it. 

What actually happens is that Ashton shuts his eyes for a moment, and he lets out a long sigh before finally looking at Luke again. 

“Luke, I don’t care that you can’t surf, okay? This doesn’t really have anything to do with that,” he begins. There’s a pause where Luke assumes he’s thinking, and then he opens his mouth to speak again. “I care that you lied to me… I care that you could’ve hurt yourself more than you actually did, and it would’ve been my fault. That beach we went to, it’s not a place for beginners and I suppose that it’s also my fault for assuming that you weren’t one.” 

Luke was already shaking his head before the Ashton had finished. “No, no, none of it is your fault at all. Ashton, I’ve never surfed a single day in my life. I’m, like, _below_ beginner level, okay—seriously. Please don’t blame yourself for me being an idiot.” 

Ashton looks like he’s thinking again, absentmindedly twirling his phone in his hands.

“Okay. So why _did_ you lie, anyway?” he finally asks. 

There were lots of answers to that question, really, but even Luke doesn’t know all of them. He supposes that he should probably start from the beginning, because maybe then both of them could understand the lunacy that went on inside of his mind. 

Luke takes another deep breath. 

“Okay, so there was that embarrassing thing with the hole that we’ve decided to forget about, and Michael was saying that lifeguards only go for surfers and I had to pretend that I wasn’t totally attracted to you, and then there were lots of drinks and loud music and ‘fuck it’ and more embarrassment, so then I—” 

“Short version, Luke.” 

“I just wanted to impress you,” he confesses in a single breath. 

Ashton nods slowly. “Right, right. Impress me by nearly drowning, so smooth.” 

Ouch. 

That kind of hurt. 

“I know, it was beyond stupid,” Luke sighs. “I just… you don’t have to forgive me, but I really want to make it up to you? Yeah, I’d like to make it up to you. I mean, you saved my life, Ashton. Nothing that I could do will ever measure up to that, but…” 

Luke basically loses his train of thought, and he knows that he should say more but the words don’t really come to him anymore. Instead he’s left to sit there in his own frantic thoughts, waiting for Ashton to make the decision. Ten years could’ve gone by, because that’s what it nearly feels like when he actually _does_ speak. 

“I suppose… you could start by buying me a banana milkshake,” Ashton declares. And, maybe Luke is seeing things, but he swears that there’s an underlying smirk on the guy’s face. “Oh, and I like it with whipped cream on top.” 

Does that sound like a second chance? It definitely sounds like a second chance, and Luke is grinning before he can even help it. He can do this, no problem. This time, he wouldn’t fuck things up. It shouldn’t be too hard, as long as he stays away from drinking too many delicious cocktails that screw with his mind. 

Luke practically hops out of the chair. Just before going inside to order the shake, he turns back to look Ashton in the eyes. 

“Hey, Ashton? I promise that I won’t lie to you anymore.”

That earns him a look of surprise and Luke pretends not to notice the subtle blush growing on Ashton’s cheeks. A soft giggle follows and he shakes his head. 

“Just go get the damn milkshake, Lukey.” 

 *******  

Things between the two of them kind of go back to normal, after that. Just kind of. But, it doesn’t worry Luke because he had expected that. 

They don’t text each other as much as they had in those first few days, but Luke is just grateful that Ashton replies to him at all. Also, Michael and Calum congratulate him when he tells them that things are more or less okay between him and Ashton now. Then his annoying friends are joking about how, pretty soon, they’ll no longer have to worry about taking care of their ‘little Lucas’ because Ashton is ‘courting him again’, which means they’ll have to start preparing for the wedding. Of course it’s all in jest. 

Basically, things are relatively peaceful. 

Well, for about two days. 

Luke had been dreaming peacefully of sea turtles and underwater kingdoms, that morning. It was nice, swimming freely beneath the ocean surface and never needing to go back up for air. He’s not sure how that was possible, his body is still the same one that he’s always had, but he doesn’t question it. This is a dream and dreams are meant to be explored and cherished while they lasted. So, that’s what he does. He swims happily with his fellow sea creatures without a care in the world. In fact, he’s about to enter an underwater cave when he’s suddenly interrupted. 

That’s when the sound of loud knocking jolts him awake. 

His heart is pounding rapidly in his chest from being awakened so abruptly. Someone had been knocking on his bedroom door—scratch that, someone is _still_ knocking on his bedroom door. Luke groans with the fury of a man that’s been stripped of all that he owns. At least, that’s what it feels like. He lets his head drop back down into the soft pillow and he’s distraught because even if he does fall back to sleep, he knows that it’s far too late to return to the dream. 

The universe must really be out to get him, because the knocking doesn’t cease even when he ignores the intruder. 

“Go away, Calum,” he groans again, this time much louder. Luke was known to be the grumpiest of them all, in the mornings. So, obviously they should have long-since realized by now how much of a terrible idea it was to wake him up so early. 

 _Knock knock_. 

“Oh my god, _please_ , fuck off!” 

 _Knock knock knock._  

His plight goes ignored. Luke is about to find something, _anything_ to throw at the door, when he hears it come open on its own. 

“Wow. You’re quite the drama queen, aren’t you?” 

Luke’s eyes snap back open and he instantly shoots up into a sitting position, because he knows that voice. 

“ _Ashton_?” he asks with wide eyes, completely bewildered. 

Ashton grins and there’s something mischievous about it. “Mornin’, sleeping beauty.” 

Suddenly Luke is all too aware of the fact that he’s lying down and only wearing a pair of boxers, while Ashton is fully clothed and standing in front of the bed with his arms across his chest. He feels completely vulnerable and not even in a dangerous way, but more of a way that’s rather… surprisingly excited? 

Fuck. That doesn’t make sense. Luke is still half asleep. 

“How did—who let you in?” he stutters. 

“Calum did,” Ashton answers, and then his attention is on something else—well, _everything_ else, because he’s looking around the entire room in fascination. “By the way, I like your room, despite its messiness. Is that a camera? Can I see it? Oh, so _this_ is your guitar. It’s nice. When will you play it for me?” 

Luke is going to kill Calum. 

“Okay, but like, why are you here?” 

Ashton stops messing with whatever had grabbed his attention for the moment, and turns to Luke with a look of mock sadness. 

“Aw. Did you not want me to be the first person you saw when you woke up?” 

“I… that’s not what…”

“Don’t get all flustered, I’m only kidding.” Ashton moves back to his previous position at the foot of Luke’s bed. With the same wicked grin, he announces, “I’m obviously here to pick you up! You know, for your first surfing lesson. Now get up.” 

“Wait, wait, wait—my _what_?” Luke squints and then rubs his eyes just in case this was some sort of dream inside of a dream. Inception, and all. Although, if Ashton really were in his dream, he’s sure the guy would’ve been naked by now. 

“Jesus, Luke,” Ashton sighs, “today is your first surfing lesson, and I’m your instructor. So, get up, get ready, and let’s get going. We don’t have all day.” 

Seriously? 

Who the hell does he think he is, bursting into Luke’s room and ruining his dream, now telling him absurdities that he didn’t want to hear! Ashton may have been extremely hot and Luke may or may not have imagined sticking his tongue down the guy’s throat once or nine times, but this was too much. 

He doesn’t have to stand for this and he isn’t going to. 

“Who even says that I want surfing lessons?” he begins, but is slightly deterred when Ashton snorts. “Besides, aren’t you supposed to be on lifeguard duty or something?” 

Ashton dismisses the question with a wave of a hand. “Let’s just say that a certain buddy owes me a favor. So, my shift is covered for today.” 

“So? Where do I come into this?” 

“You came into this when, two days ago, you claimed that you wanted to make it up to me. I haven’t thought of a way that you can, but I figured it would be more interesting if you proved yourself to me, instead. What better way to do so than by trying to learn how to surf and sticking with it?” 

At this point, Luke is basically just staring with his mouth agape at the overenthusiastic, curly-headed dictator in front of him. 

“Also,” the dictator goes on, “it would be fun for me, too! There’s nothing I love more than surfing and getting wet. Now I get to enjoy teaching someone else the secrets of properly getting themselves wet.” 

Luke actually chokes on his own spit. 

Why? Why did Ashton have to show up in his room so goddamn early in the morning, order him about, and then make blatantly sexual innuendos?

 _Why_? 

“Why, what?” Ashton asks. 

Luke supposes he had said that aloud. No matter, he can see now that he isn’t getting out of this one. Though, to be honest, this is the exact punishment that he probably deserves. He had lied about being able to surf so now he was actually going to _learn_ to surf from the person that he had lied to in the first place. A little confusing, but surely it couldn’t be too bad, right? A tiny, itty-bitty part of Luke actually does want to learn the sport. 

“Fine,” he grumbles, sighing in defeat. “I’ll… I’ll get ready, then. But, I refuse to rush while doing so.” 

Ashton snickers at his minor attempt to rebel. Luke won’t admit it, but he sort of grins, too. There’s a moment when they’re simply staring at each other, small smiles on their faces and the same challenging glint in their eyes from before. 

“I can, uh, I can leave if you want?” Ashton suddenly says after clearing his throat. Luke is utterly lost for a second, before he realizes that ‘getting ready’ involves actually getting out of bed and dressing. 

In front of Ashton.

Hmm. 

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind.” Luke says it so casually that he even surprises himself. He pushes the sheets back and slowly rises from the mattress. 

Of course he makes a show of yawning and stretching his back muscles and those long legs of his. Because, why not? He knows that Ashton is watching him intently, and it’s a dumb analogy, but it’s almost as if Ashton is the predator while Luke is his prey. Even so, Luke knows that he has the advantage. They were in his room, aka _his_ territory. 

So, yeah. If he wants to strut around his room, scantily clad while Ashton watches, _and_ taking his sweet time to actually put something on, then he’s going to do it. He may have been vulnerable, but he’s also the one in control here. 

For now, at least. 

About thirty minutes later, Luke finds himself standing with his toes in the sand and nothing in his belly. Since he had taken way too long to get ready, Ashton said that breakfast was to be skipped and therefore Luke’s first meal of the day was going to be knowledge. 

“Welcome to Surfing 101 with Ashton Irwin,” Ashton begins in a booming tone as if he was speaking to an entire class, despite the fact that Luke is the only person in his general vicinity. “Hi, I’m Ashton, your instructor. Now, might you introduce yourself?” 

“…Seriously, Ashton?” 

“ _Introduce yourself_.” 

Luke sighs, both slightly annoyed and amused. “Hey, I’m Luke. I love Starbucks, penguins, taking long walks on the beach—” 

“No one asked for your life story, Luke. So! Moving on,” Ashton continues, ignoring the glare that Luke sends his way. “What we’re here to talk about is surfing, obviously. But, what exactly does it take to _be_ a surfer? Well, a variety of things, but generally it takes: precision, endurance, strength, and most of all, passion!” 

He lists these ‘requirements’ one-by-one on four of his long fingers—and, they are _really_ long fingers, Luke notices. 

“Luke! Do you have passion?” 

“Um… yeah?”

“I’m not convinced. Drop and give me twenty.” 

“Are you for real?” 

“Do it!” Ashton shouts in his best military sergeant impression. 

“Okay, okay!” Luke submits, and he has a feeling that this is going to be a long day. 

Ashton has him doing completely random exercises for the next twenty minutes. Luke has no idea what any of this has to do with learning to surf, but he does them so that he won’t have to bear listening to Ashton yell in that weird military voice. It’s irritating as hell, but admittedly, it was also kind of funny. Luke ends up forgetting about how cranky he was from being woken up, earlier that morning. 

Maybe, just _maybe_ , Luke is starting to have fun. 

“Now then, Lukey boy, I’m going to ask you one more time. Do you have passion?”

Ashton had been making Luke jog in place, and believe it or not, it isn’t exactly easy. His bare feet keep sinking into the sand, making it harder and harder every time that he has to bring a leg up into the air. He refuses to do anything but his absolute best, though. Luke is determined to make a good impression, once and for all. 

“I was _born_ with passion,” he scoffs, as if it was a well-known fact. 

“Yeah? Do they call you ‘Lucas the Passionate’, back at home?” 

“They do.” 

“I see. Okay then. You can sit down, now.” 

Luke does. 

“No, don’t sit down. Why are you doing that? Stop doing that.” 

“…But, you just said—” 

“Stand up, Luke.” 

He stands again, and it takes a little bit of an effort. 

“I thought I told you to sit?” 

“Oh my god.” 

Luke plops back down into the sand, and this time he isn’t getting up no matter what Ashton says. It wasn’t the first time Ashton had done it, either. In fact, he kept purposely fucking Luke around during the entire work-out. And, every single time, it caught Luke off guard. 

He barely notices when Ashton sits next to him, the biggest shit-eating grin spread across his face. Luke frowns, and suddenly he feels like the most gullible person on the planet. 

“Mind telling me what _any_ of that had to do with surfing?” he asks warily. 

Ashton gives a lazy shrug. “Truthfully? Not much. I just wanted to fuck with you.” 

Then Luke is groaning because, god, he probably looked like such an _idiot_ and he sure as hell felt like one, too. 

“You’re such an ass,” he pouts, but he still has to bite his lip to keep from laughing along with Ashton. Okay, so maybe the whole thing was still a little bit funny. But only a little. 

“Oh, come on! You totally deserved that,” Ashton giggles, and he gives Luke a gentle nudge in the side. “I’m surprised you literally did everything that I told you to, no matter how dumb it was. But now that you’ve proven your obedience, I think you’re worthy enough to be my student,” he finishes with a warm smile. 

“You mean you’re actually going to teach me to surf?” 

“Of course I am, silly. I just wanted to have a little fun, first.” 

Ashton moves over so that they’re facing each other, now. They’re still sitting rather close together and with his legs crossed beneath him, his knees are lightly touching Luke’s. 

Luke tries not to notice. 

“Now then, welcome to Surfing with Ashton Irwin, Volume Two—also known as the _real_ volume. Do you have any questions, before we start?” 

“Yeah, actually,” Luke speaks up when he clears his throat. “When’s lunch?” 

“Any irrelevant questions will result in one lap each. Up the beach and back again.”

“Sorry.” 

“I forgive you,” Ashton smiles. “So, let’s begin. In general, surfing is about catching waves, right? But, it kind of helps to know how waves are formed in the first place. Basically, it all boils down to… a bunch of science-y shit. When the wind blows, the energy from the air goes into the water and makes the wave. So, stronger winds equal larger waves. But, it also depends on how long the wind blows and the area you’re in. Now, a breaking wave is the point when the water topples over and looks cool as hell. This happens when…” 

Ashton moves his hands in languid motions as he speaks. If Luke were an expert at judging hands, he’d say that they were a really nice pair. They were calloused and a little rugged, but were never used in an especially rough way. In fact, they were gentle the few times that they had touched Luke’s skin. Since Ashton is a hard-working person, those hands are probably skilled at a _number_ of things, and Luke doesn’t mean that in a purely sexual way, either. 

Most of all, Luke can’t help noticing that they were pretty _big_ hands. Well, bigger than his own, anyway. Maybe he’s curious to feel how one of his smaller hands would fit into Ashton’s. That’s kind of a weird thought, so he pushes it aside. What he instead thinks about is the fact that Ashton seems to have big _everything_. 

His eyes are big, his hands and feet and even his curls are not at all on the smaller side. It’s strange because Luke is taller than Ashton and he seems to have broader shoulders, but he feels like Ashton is bigger than him in a different sense of the word. Maybe it also has something to do with their personalities? Ashton has this way of always sounding confident; he can be loud and imposing, but even when he’s quiet, one couldn’t help but pay attention to him regardless. Plus, he had that fucking smile that was just so… 

 _Ashton smiles like the sun_. Luke is suddenly struck by the thought like a bolt of lightning. Ashton is big and bright and warm like the sun, and Luke is sure that if he gets close enough, he will get scorched just as badly. He’s sort of like a mosquito in that sense: he’s drawn to the light that will most likely cause his demise. But, the attraction that he feels can’t be ignored, and perhaps it would be worth the pain. 

“…and, it’s sort of like coming. The buildup of the wave can be felt beneath you, almost similar to the pleasure that grows when you’re having sex. If you like it enough, you chase that wave, just like you chase the pleasure. When you finally catch it, your heart is racing in your chest and you know that this is it, it can only go one way or another; you either have an amazing fucking orgasm that leaves you shaking, or it’s a flop. The only way to find out is by taking a chance and riding the wave, the same way you’d ride out an orgasm.” 

Huh. 

Wait… 

When the hell had Ashton started talking about sex and orgasms and— _what the actual fuck?_  

“I…” Luke whispers. And, really, what the hell is he supposed to say to _any_ of that? 

“ _Aha_. Just seeing if you were paying attention,” Ashton explains, a devious smile arising. 

Luke knows that his cheeks are burning a deep shade of red, right about now.

“Of course I was… I heard everything that you said, honestly,” he lies. 

“Oh, I believe you. But, hearing and listening are two very different things, Lukey.” Ashton folds his arms across his chest. “So? Tell me what I’ve said so far.”

Damn. 

“You’ve been telling me about… waves, and surfing.” 

Ashton sighs, disappointed, and rolls his eyes. “No shit. That’s what this whole lesson has been about. The last thing that I was telling you had to do with how surfers actually _catch_ these waves. Y’know, how we learn to feel and look for the ones that we want to ride? You can’t just go for every single little blip in the water. Deciding which waves to paddle for is important.” 

Luke feels a little embarrassed about being caught not paying attention. But, what’s even worse is the fear that Ashton might get fed up with him sooner or later. 

It’s not as if Luke couldn’t understand what the guy was saying. He actually does. Also, Luke had always done exceptionally well back in school. He was smart and he did the work that needed to be completed, so he isn’t an idiot. 

It’s just that it was a little hard to pay attention, sitting there in the warm sand underneath the clear blue sky, Ashton’s knees against his. There was something about Ashton that was so distracting and it couldn’t be helped. 

Luke frowns at the subtle scorn he’d received. “Okay, I’m sorry. I really am trying to pay attention, it’s just not easy to focus on what you’re saying when I feel like I’m going to starve to death. Can’t we, you know, take a break?” 

His growling stomach was also something that couldn’t be helped. 

Ashton seems to consider it for a moment, and then he nods. “Alright, I suppose I’ve kept you long enough. Well, that concludes today’s lesson, then.” 

“Wait, ‘concludes’? But… I haven’t even gotten into the water yet.” 

“Oh, I never planned for you to,” Ashton says. “Not today, at least. Much too soon.” 

Before he even realizes it, Luke begins to whine. How is he supposed to learn how to surf if he stays on dry land the whole time? _Sand surfing_ doesn’t sound as appealing, thank you very much. 

“Patience, young Skywalker,” Ashton laughs. “We’ll be there eventually, don’t get your panties in a bunch. As your teacher, I’ll decide when you’re ready for the physical stuff. For now, just trust my wisdom, okay?” 

“…Okay.” 

Luke carefully stands up, his legs having fallen asleep from sitting in the same position for too long. He could’ve moved them, maybe stretched a bit while Ashton talked on and on about the ocean waves; but, Luke hadn’t wanted their knees to cease touching each other. Yes, it’s kind of childish, but he’s basically like a five-year-old with a crush. 

“Have lunch with me,” Luke says abruptly, “it’ll be my treat.” 

Ashton stares up at him, brows raised in surprise. He’s half-smirking when he asks, “Is that a demand, Hemmings?” 

“No—I mean, you don’t have to. But, um… I’m really hoping that you want to?” 

And then Ashton’s making a big show of pretending to consider the offer; he hums in thought, a hand rubbing at his chin while Luke stands patiently. 

“Hmm… okay, I’ll have lunch with you. How can I say no to free food?” 

They eat at a little place called Fishmongers not far from the shore. Let’s just say that Luke is more than happy when he finally has a plate of fish and chips in front of him. They spend their meal in aimless chatter, hopping from one topic to the next in a matter of seconds. One thing that Luke notices is, whereas he seemed to be the one contributing the most to their conversations via text messaging, Ashton apparently has _a_ _lot_ to say about _everything_. In fact, he ends up doing most of the talking while Luke laughs along and eats his food. 

Reflecting back to all of their phone conversations during the previous week, Luke remembers thinking once or twice that Ashton might not have been into him or simply found him boring, because of the way that he would sometimes reply. Now, as Luke watches the many gestures and facial expressions when Ashton speaks, he realizes that no text message could ever convey just how _alive_ this guy is. He’s much more passionate when talking face-to-face.

For instance, at the moment, Ashton is telling Luke random shark breeding facts—and, okay, so he’d rather not hear about shark sex while eating lunch, thanks—but the way that Ashton explained things just made them so much more _interesting._  

Still, Luke would have liked to change the topic again. 

“Alright, I think I’ve heard the words ‘shark sperm’ enough for one lifetime.” 

Ashton giggles at that, and Luke thinks the sun gets all of its energy from that laugh alone. 

“Not a fan of sharks, Lukey?” he asks, wiggling his brows. 

Luke shrugs. “I don’t know, not really… hey, aren’t you afraid of possibly being attacked while surfing?” 

“Yes, and no.” Ashton pauses to drink from his cup before he elaborates. “Thankfully, I’ve yet to deal with a shark attack. Did you know that in the past fifty years, there has been around fifty or so fatal shark attacks in Australia? But, around one hundred _million_ sharks are killed every year by humans. I googled it once. So, yeah—sharks can be scary and they are dangerous creatures, but there are ways in which we can avoid them. They, however, can’t avoid us. It… kind of makes me sad.” 

“…I’m guessing you must really like sharks,” Luke says. 

“I love them. Whales, too.” A small smile blossoms on Ashton’s face. “All I really need in life to be happy are the things that I love the most: the ocean, my surfboard, and the sound of awesome music. Oh! And my drum kit, of course.” 

Luke’s eyes widen in surprise. “Wait, drum kit? You never told me that you could play the drums.” 

“You never asked,” Ashton replies, shrugging. 

Of course he would say something cheeky like that. Well, two can play at that game. 

“Fine. Can you play any other instruments? If so, which ones?” 

Ashton lists them off his long fingers. “Saxophone, bit of piano, and guitar—which I am utterly rotten at.” 

A brilliant plan pops into Luke’s head. Well, he _thinks_ that it’s brilliant, so it has to be. 

“Yeah? Let’s make a deal. Since you’re teaching me how to surf, how about I show you a thing or two with the guitar, help you master it?” 

He seems to have gotten Ashton’s undivided attention. 

Yup. Definitely a brilliant plan. 

“You’ll teach me a ‘thing or two’?” Ashton chuckles. “Sounds interesting… okay, we’ve got ourselves a deal. When do we start?” 

“Whenever you want.” 

Luke, quite possibly, has the dumbest grin on his face right now. But, he’s finding it really hard to give a damn, to be honest. Giving Ashton some pointers with the guitar meant spending even more time together. Plus, it was something that Luke could actually do, so there was no concern about possibly embarrassing himself or looking like an idiot. Everything about this screamed _success_. 

Just then, Ashton’s phone rings. 

“Ah, do you mind?” he asks instead of answering the call right away. 

Luke quickly shakes his head. “Not at all.” 

He feels a little awkward, sitting there and trying his best not to eavesdrop on the other’s conversation. It looks like Ashton is talking with a friend because there’s a smile on his face as he speaks. And it’s stupid, incredibly stupid, but Luke almost feels a tiny bit jealous. 

Maybe it’s because of the fact that he’d been spoiled with Ashton’s attention for the majority of the day so far, and now that someone else has it (for a mere two minutes), he’s reminded that there are other people in the world whom Ashton likes more. Obviously it shouldn’t be a big deal, since they’ve only known each other for a little over a week. 

So, Luke pushes the feeling aside. He knows that he has no right to feel that way. But, who knows what the hell is wrong with his brain lately. 

“Sorry about that,” Ashton says when he hangs up. 

“It’s fine… everything alright?” 

“Yeah, a buddy was just inviting me to go clubbing tonight, which I haven’t done in ages.” He pauses for a second and then asks, “You ever gone clubbing, Luke? Or, is that not your _forte_?” 

“Um… I have, but only once and we were barely there for an hour. I guess because when I get invited to things, it’s usually a party at someone’s house and whatnot. So…” 

“So, you’re basically a virgin?” Ashton finishes. 

Of course his choice of words throws Luke off, because yes, he _is_ a virgin in almost every sense of the word. But, Ashton doesn’t need to know that. So Luke just nods. 

“Hmm… okay. Let’s say that I invite you to join me at a club tonight,” Ashton begins slowly, “and, if you decided to accept that invite… would you promise not to somehow almost get yourself killed? Or injured in any way possible.” 

Alright, so Luke can understand why he’d say that, considering what happened the last time Ashton invited him to hang out. And, while he still feels embarrassed from the teasing, he knows that this is an opportunity that he should take. After all, Ashton must really enjoy Luke’s company if he’s asking him out again so soon. This _has_ to be the most positive thing yet. 

“I’ll do my best,” Luke answers. He gives an exaggerated wink, and Ashton laughs. 

*** 

His friends were even more ecstatic than he was, upon hearing that they would be going to a club that night. Even Michael was excited, claiming that loud music and alcohol were just what he needed to kick off the start of a great summer, never mind the fact that they’d already been on vacation for over a week now. Luke thinks that the only reason Michael suddenly wants to be drunk is that his denial about being upset over the breakup with his long-time girlfriend, a mere _week_ before graduation, has finally caught up to him. Luke doesn’t say anything, though.

When they arrive at the club Ashton had given him directions to, Luke suddenly remembers why clubbing isn’t exactly his thing. The loud music and big crowd isn’t a problem—he loves going to concerts, after all—it’s the fact that, unlike at concerts, everyone inside of the nightclub participated in different things and Luke sort of felt out of the mix, not knowing what to do or where to go first. 

So, what he decidesto do is look for Ashton. The amount of relief that Luke feels when he almost instantly finds the mop of curly hair standing at the bar is ridiculous. But, hey, Ashton was the main reason that he was here, after all. 

“You actually came!” Ashton shouts happily when he sees Luke and his friends approach. By the looks of it, he’s already had a few drinks. 

Before Luke can answer, Michael shouts back, “He was too nervous to come alone. Also, he’d like to thank you for the invite!” 

If there was ever a time to punch someone… 

Ashton just giggles like the ray of sunshine that he is. “Aw. You’re very welcome, Lukey! I’m glad you’re here.” 

Luke’s grin is a bashful one, and he doesn’t notice the glances that Michael and Calum exchange from behind his back. 

“You hear that, _Lukey_?” Michael teasingly says into his ear. “He’s glad you’re here. _Very_ glad.” 

“Be a gentleman and buy him a drink,” Calum says into his other ear. 

Right now, Luke is at least two hundred percent positive that it would have been a better idea to come alone, after all. He bats his ‘friends’ away and hopes like hell that Ashton hadn’t heard them. God, of all the times they could’ve chosen to tease him, it had to be now when Luke was really hoping that things would go smoothly and without a single sweat. Unless that sweat came from Ashton doing certain things to him and… 

Fuck, can’t think about that. Not now, when Ashton is all smiles and dimples and standing right in front of him. Maybe _decency_ instead of surfing is what Luke should’ve been learning. 

“Shots, anyone?” Ashton suggests, but he’s already demanding them from the bartender before anyone replies. 

Luke nods, anyway. “ _Please_.” 

In the end, Luke knocks back maybe three and a half of them before he feels far too giddy and a little dizzy for his liking. He knows that that’s probably weak as shit but he’s actually having a lot of fun now, and he decides that drunk Ashton is even more adorable than sober Ashton, who was more on the _cool_ side. In comparison, Ashton with alcohol in his system results in him giggling at literally everything Luke says, with his already-wide eyes looking as large as a couple of goddamn planets. If this night was anything to go by, then during that first night when they’d spoken at the bar, Ashton had been nowhere near as inebriated as Luke thought at the time. 

At the current moment, though, he was incredibly cute and fuzzy and giggly and all Luke wants is to keep that smile on his face for all of eternity. Instead, he braces himself and knocks back the rest of the liquid, a sour expression morphing onto his face because _yuck_. Ashton finds his look of distaste to be quite hilarious, so whatever. 

“I know, not nearly as tasty as cocktails, but you get used to it!” Ashton shouts, but it’s still an effort to hear him due to the overwhelming volume of the music. Luke is grateful for the music, though, because it forced Ashton to lean into him whenever one of them spoke. The alcohol probably had something to do with it, too, but never mind that. 

“Is it even _possible_ to get used to this?” Luke asks, sticking out his disgusted tongue. 

Ashton laughs and gives a lazy shrug. “Once, I hooked up with a bartender and she gave me free drinks for, like, a month. So, all I would do is come here and consume drink after drink! I guess that’s how I got used to it.” 

Oh. Well, that’s quite intriguing? Daunting? Perhaps a bit of both? Apparently, Ashton has no problem sleeping with women. Given their interaction and the blatant flirting going on between them, Luke had basically just assumed that Ashton is definitely into guys. Now, he’s left wondering just how into guys Ashton actually is and if he still has a chance. 

Luke licks his lips. “Can I, um, ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

Ashton doesn’t appear at all fazed because he instantly replies. “Ask away.” 

“Do you prefer boys or girls? Both? Neither...?” 

This time Ashton looks at him, that unreadable expression on his face that Luke sometimes notices. Then he hums, seemingly thinking about what he wants to answer with. Luke feels a nervous tingle pass through his body and wishes that it would go away. 

“People,” Ashton finally answers, “I prefer people. Really _cute_ people,” he finishes with a smile. 

Luke briskly nods. “Fair enough.” 

He thinks that the subject has been dropped, or at least, he kind of hopes that it is; but, then Ashton is nudging him in the side. 

“What about you?” he asks curiously. “C’mon, don’t leave me hangin’.” 

Luke laughs a little. He has to clear his throat before he speaks. “I like—I like boys and girls. A lot.” 

Ashton quirks a brow. “Yeah?” 

Luke nods again, and he finds himself unconsciously sucking on the lip ring that he always forgets is there. 

“Do you have a preference?” Ashton then asks. 

There’s a pause because in all honesty, Luke isn’t sure. What he is sure about is that girls are really hot. Guys are hot, too. He definitely wouldn’t mind kissing both of them. As for preferring one over the other, he doesn’t think he can. Girls were usually soft and smelled nice, guys were usually not as soft but sometimes they had nice biceps and more in common with him. 

Ashton, though… Ashton has soft hair and nice muscles and he smells good and looks good and, just, _wow_. But, that wasn’t the question. 

“Not really, I don’t think?” Luke answers at last. “I’ve only ever had a girlfriend. Just one. So… I don’t know yet.” 

“Fair enough,” Ashton smirks. He leans back against the bar and raises his mostly-empty glass towards the crowd. “You’re young, so you’ve got loads of time to figure out all the things you like, the things you love, and the things that instantly make you go _hell no_. By the time you’re my age, you might even just say ‘fuck it’ and do whoever, for a while.” 

Luke rolls his eyes and pokes Ashton in the gut. “Stop sounding like an old man who has lived for decades.” 

“Sometimes it feels like I have!” Ashton laughs. The laugh turns into what sounds like excited squealing when a new song comes on, one that Luke has never heard in his life. “Oh my god, Luke, you have to dance with me!” 

Before he knows it he’s being pulled by the wrist, away from the bar and toward the dance floor. Luke looks back over his shoulder in hopes that someone will save him, but his two friends are nowhere to be seen. As a matter of fact, he suddenly realizes he can’t recall saying another word to Michael or Calum after taking his first shot. 

Go figure. Luke always manages to get sucked into this whole other world when he’s talking to Ashton. 

“Ash, wait,” he says, laughing nervously as he’s pulled through the tight group of moving bodies. “I… I can’t even dance!” 

When there’s an opening on the floor that’s wide enough for them to stand facing each other, Ashton turns around. He doesn’t let go of Luke’s wrist, though. 

“I can’t either, but I do it anyway because it’s fun!” Ashton yells above the music; and, standing this close with the multicolor lights flashing across their faces, Luke almost feels like he’s seeing Ashton for the first time. “When in doubt, shake your hips!” 

And then Ashton is taking Luke’s other hand as well, and placing both of them low on his hips. They’re rather nice hips, and if Luke grips them tighter than he probably needs to, neither of them make a comment on it. 

It’s just them, now. It’s them and the music and the flashing lights, the other sweating bodies around them no longer existing in their little space. Ashton guides Luke and Luke holds onto Ashton as they move against one another. Sure, Luke has no idea what he’s doing and he’s not even paying attention to anything outside of his peripheral vision. For all he knows, he probably either looks like the biggest idiot or the greatest dancer in the entire club; but, none of it matters because he _feels_ good even if he doesn’t look it. It’s almost unbearably hot, Ashton is grinding against him, and Luke feels happy in his drunken state. 

Maybe they dance for a few minutes. Maybe they dance for an hour. They lose track of time, and that’s okay, because neither of them stop even as Ashton is just sort of staring into Luke’s eyes more than he’s moving his body, now. Luke stares back, and… maybe the room doesn’t seem as loud, anymore. They stare at each other and it’s almost silent in that little space of theirs. Luke’s eyes flutter as they glance down at Ashton’s lips, and he _knows_ that the other catches the movement. 

His heart is racing even faster because he wants to kiss those lips. He wants to kiss Ashton, feel the way that their mouths fit together and he can almost feel it already. And, _fuck_ , he doesn’t just want that, he needs it. So does Ashton, he can tell. He needs to kiss Ashton and Ashton needs to kiss him back, they need to start doing that _right fucking now_ , holy shit— 

Ashton drops Luke’s hands from his hips and takes a step back. 

“I have to,” he begins but immediately pauses, eyes still wide and staring straight into Luke’s. “Um—bathroom! Really badly. Sorry!” 

Ashton disappears into the crowd to make his way toward the bathrooms, and Luke feels like his heart has stopped. 

*** 

“I almost kissed Ashton,” he blurts out when he finally gets Calum alone and in an area that doesn’t require screaming over the music. 

It had taken Luke ages to find his friends after Ashton had left him standing on the dance floor. Even now he still isn’t sure where the hell Michael is, but he had located Calum in a group of people that were treating him like they’d known him for years. Maybe it was because they were all totally wasted and taking body shots off each other, so they didn’t mind that some random dude had joined them. 

Just before it was Calum’s turn to take a shot from a pretty little redhead, Luke had grabbed him for an emergency chat. Obviously his friend wasn’t too happy about that, but he grins proudly when Luke tells him about the near-kiss. 

“Nice!” Calum says, and pats him on the back. When he notices that Luke doesn’t look happy, he frowns. “Wait, _almost_? How do you almost kiss someone? Luke, please tell me I don’t have to teach you how to properly smash your lips into someone else’s.” 

“It’s not funny!” Luke exclaims. He lowers his tone when he realizes how loud that was. “Sorry, it’s just—I don’t know, I’m confused? I _thought_ we were going to kiss, but… we didn’t.” 

“Do you want to kiss him?” 

“Of course I do,” he answers immediately, and although he’s known this for a while now, he still blushes at the thought. “And like, I thought that maybe he wanted to kiss me, too? But, then he didn’t and—and he ran off to the bathroom and basically I’m a fucking dumb ass.” 

“Stop that, you’re not a dumb ass, Luke.” Calum puts a hand on his shoulder and pats it a couple times like the good, drunken friend that he is. “I know he likes you, maybe you just read the situation wrong. Alcohol can do that, sometimes.”

Luke isn’t exactly convinced, but he nods because that explanation is better than anything else his mind could come up with, such as the possibility that Ashton doesn’t like him after all. At least, not in the same way that Luke likes _him_. 

“We can always leave, if you want,” Calum offers. 

“No—I mean, you don’t have to do that. I… I don’t want to ruin your fun.” 

He sort of does want to leave, because he already knows that he’ll likely be greeted with a hangover in the morning. If he doesn’t consume any more alcohol for the rest of the night, he also knows that it won’t be _too_ bad when he finally does wake up the next day. Still, leaving now kind of makes him feel sad, because he had been having a good time before _that_ happened. 

“You’re not ruining anything, now shut up and help me find Mikey,” Calum laughs, but then his face contorts in pain. “Shit—yeah, we should probably leave soon, because I don’t think I should be seeing two of you…” 

Luke chuckles. “You’ll be crying in the morning.” 

After buying his friend a bottle of water and making sure that he drank most of it, Luke goes off to find his other friend with the emo Pokémon hair. But, before he does so, a large part of him really wants to say goodbye to Ashton, first. It was the polite thing to do since he had invited Luke there in the first place. He still feels weird about the whole almost-kissing thing, but maybe it wasn’t as bad as his drunken mind is making it out to be. Surely, when he was sober again, he’d realize that. 

So, Luke scrambles back towards the dance floor, since he assumes that Ashton may have returned to where they were. That possibility kind of makes him feel like a dick, because he never considered the fact that Ashton might have come back from the bathroom and felt confused when he saw that Luke had disappeared. Unfortunately, the floor is still jam packed so Luke almost doesn’t find Ashton at all. When he actually does, though, he kind of wishes that he hadn’t. 

Ashton is dancing with someone else, now. Well, _two_ someone else’s, if that makes any sense. Ashton seems to be dancing with two people that Luke didn’t know and doesn’t _want_ to know, so apparently he isn’t really needed, then. And Ashton probably hadn’t been looking for him, after all. 

Luke kind of feels disposed of, which is stupid because _he’s_ the one that walked off when Ashton was only going to the bathroom. There’s no need to be jealous of the two guys who now have the privilege of touching Ashton’s body in a similar way that Luke had done earlier. 

Nope. No reason at all. Ashton could dance with whomever he pleased. 

The sickening feeling in Luke’s stomach that makes him want to puke is purely due to the shots of vodka he had consumed. 

Only that, and nothing else.


	4. Three Barnacles and a Jellyfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I'm supposed to be following a schedule here, but eh, screw it. Here's chapter four. You're welcome.

* * *

 

“Alright, show me what you can do.” 

Nodding, Ashton readily positions his fingers along the strings of the guitar that he’s holding. Whatever he was about to do, apparently his mind has been changed because he stops immediately, shoulders sagging and his brows knitting into a frown. Luke isn’t sure why, but it’s kind of cute and he finds himself smiling. 

“Nervous?” he asks. 

“No, of course not,” Ashton quickly replies; he’s obviously trying not to smile back, though, as he readies his fingers again and strums the first chord. 

The rather bizarre events that had taken place at the nightclub a few days before have more or less been forgotten. 

Well, _Luke_ is pretending to forget them. 

He pretends to forget about how badly he wanted to kiss Ashton right there on the dance floor, as well as the fact that he’d almost gone through with the act. He isn’t so sure if Ashton is pretending or not, because the very next day—assumingly sometime after Ashton had gotten rid of his own hangover—Luke had received a text from him, in which he claimed to be unable to remember most of the shit that had taken place the night before. He also said that he was sorry for not being able to say goodbye to Luke and his friends before they’d left. So, whether Ashton actually remembers their awkward little moment or not, Luke figures it was best if he pretends to forget it, too. 

He never stopped wanting to kiss Ashton, though. He also couldn’t stop wondering what would’ve happened, had he just gone for it when he’d had the chance. 

Never mind any of that, for now. Luke has already had his first two surfing lessons, yet he still hasn’t taught Ashton a single thing with the guitar. So, doing that was his main objective for today, and he swore to himself that he was going to do it _right_. 

From the sounds of it, however, it doesn’t seem like Ashton needs his help. Like, at all. Luke hadn’t known what to expect when Ashton had claimed to be ‘rotten’ at playing the instrument, but this… definitely wasn’t it. It hardly took thirty seconds of just sitting and listening for him to realize that that curly-headed bastard was a goddamn liar. 

“Stop,” he says after a few more seconds. Ashton instantly does so, and he’s looking up at Luke in a sort of insecure way as if he’d done something _wrong_ when, to be honest, his playing had been near-perfection. 

Luke quickly shakes his head so that Ashton doesn’t get the wrong idea. “No, I mean—fuck, that was… are you sure that you shouldn’t be teaching _me_ instead?” he finishes with a breathless chuckle. 

And, Ashton—well, Ashton is blushing now. Ashton is blushing and trying not to show it and it’s literally killing Luke inside because how can anyone be this cute? 

“You’re exaggerating,” Ashton murmurs. He clears his throat afterwards, and puts on his usual cool front as if he hadn’t nearly become a blushing mess only seconds before. “Thanks, though.” 

Luke rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so modest, all of a sudden! You’re _really_ good, Ashton. I’m serious.” 

“You really think so...?” 

“Yeah, I do.” 

That earns him a sweet little smile, so it has to count for something. 

“Thank you,” Ashton says with much more confidence this time. “But, I still want you to teach me some things, so don’t think you’re getting out of this so easily!” 

Luke chuckles again. “Don’t worry, I’m not going back on our deal.” 

With a grin, he scoots a bit closer to Ashton on the bed. He was a professional that was going to be professional about this, okay, so the fact that they were comfortably sitting on _his_ bed in _his_ room with the door closed means absolutely nothing. Besides, he actually really does want to teach Ashton a few things. Well, it was more like he was just giving him a few tips now, since apparently Ashton knew damn well how to play the instrument itself. 

Except, Luke has never really had to be a teacher before, so he feels a little weird when there’s a pause and he isn’t sure where to start. But, Ashton is counting on him, so he’ll just have to give it his best and think carefully about everything that he wants to say. 

“Honestly? I’d say you pretty much have everything down. Except, maybe… ease up a bit on the pressure when you’re strumming?” 

Luke hopes that he doesn’t sound discouraging, because there’s almost nothing else he can think of that needs improving, but Ashton heeds his advice with a brisk nod and a look of concentration. 

“So, like this?” he asks, and begins strumming again. It’s an even better sound than before. 

“Sort of, yeah.” 

“Show me,” Ashton demands. 

Luke freezes up again, slightly bewildered by the suggestion. He’s not exactly sure how to explain what he means, because it sounds right in his mind but it’s not as easy to put into words. He’ll just have to improvise, then. 

“Alright.” 

Luke uncrosses his legs and moves to sit behind Ashton on the mattress. 

 _Closely_ behind Ashton. 

It’s a little weird, yes, but Ashton doesn’t even question his movements. He simply waits like a good student that’s eager to learn, and maybe Luke is a bit of a pervert for the thought that crosses his mind afterwards. 

“You’re just a little too tense, I think,” Luke mumbles. He gingerly presses down on Ashton’s shoulders to get him to lower them and relax a little more. “Now, take a deep breath and try not to stiffen up so much.” 

Ashton does as he’s instructed, inhaling deeply and slowly exhaling afterwards. When it’s clear that he’s relaxed, Luke places his own hand on top of the one that Ashton uses to strum. The larger hand involuntarily stiffens for a second, before completely relaxing underneath Luke’s smaller one. 

It’s seems rather intimate. Perhaps a little too intimate, but still Ashton says nothing.  

“Now you just sort of… let it flow. I know, it sounds dumb, but that’s basically it. See?” 

And then Luke is demonstrating with his hand on top of Ashton’s, slowly moving it along with his own to help Ashton get a feel for what he means. A few strokes later, Ashton moves his hand on his own, so Luke lets go and watches the movements from over his shoulder. The improvement in how it sounds now is evident. 

“Perfect,” Luke whispers, and he doesn’t know why. When Ashton turns to smile at him, it’s only then that Luke realizes his chin is practically resting on Ashton’s shoulder. Their faces are really close, and…

Fuck. 

Is it normal to want to kiss someone this fucking badly? 

“I see what you mean now,” Ashton says in a gentle tone. _Too gentle_. “Drums are my main love, you know? So, I guess I’m just used to banging on things and… being rough, in a way.” 

Well, _damn_. 

If that sentence hadn’t contained some blatantly obvious references to sex, then Luke swore he’d change his name to Lucinda. And, he didn’t plan on doing that any time soon. So, the innuendo was _definitely_ strong with this one. A little too strong, he might add. 

And, well, Luke doesn’t know how to react to that. So basically he… doesn’t.

“Right. Glad I could, um, help. With that. Yeah,” he sputters as he removes himself from the situation _and_ from behind Ashton. 

That spot was dangerous territory, Luke tells himself. Instead, he takes his previous position and sits in front of Ashton again. After situating himself, he looks up.

Of course the teasing bastard was smirking. 

And, of _course_ Luke now feels like the blushing virgin that he most definitely is. 

This was going to be a fairly long lesson. 

They sit there and practice for a little over half an hour, and luckily, there aren’t any more… mishaps, per se. At least, Luke sees them as mishaps. Just as he had guessed, Ashton really didn’t need much teaching at all, just a word of advice here and there. So, what they mostly did was mess around and played random songs to each other. Luke also shows Ashton how to properly tune the guitar, since apparently that had been the only thing he didn’t know much about already. 

Eventually, they both decide that they’re a bit hungry so Luke goes into the little kitchen to gather a snack and a couple of drinks. The problem is, he has zero clue as to what Ashton likes best, so he basically grabs everything from sweet candy and cookies to salty potato chips. Some of the snacks technically aren’t his, but maybe Calum won’t notice that his favorite treat is gone as long as Luke remembers to replace it after Ashton leaves. 

It sounds like a good plan for now, so he goes with it. 

What Luke finds when he returns to the bedroom is absolutely appalling, to say the least, because there seems to be an intruder sitting on his bed next to Ashton. Not only were they intruding, but they also had the audacity to be showing Ashton something with the guitar! 

No, just _no_. This won’t do, because helping Ashton is _Luke’s_ job and he takes it very, very seriously. Yep. 

“What are you doing?” he asks warily from the doorway. Upon remembering that this is also _his_ room, he walks in and tosses the snacks onto the foot of the bed. 

Michael stops telling Ashton whatever it is that he had been saying in a hushed tone, and the two of them look up. They take one glance at Luke before bursting into a fit of barely-contained giggles. 

 _Seriously_? 

“There you are!” Michael says in his usual booming voice. “How dare you abandon your poor student in his time of need! Naturally, I felt compelled to lend him a hand, as well as some of my great wisdom.” 

“Go away, _I’m_ teaching Ashton,” Luke grumbles, pouting. Because, yeah, he’s definitely pouting now. 

Michael turns back to Ashton and with a false expression of sorrow, he whispers sadly, “See how he treats his best friend? It’s so cruel.” 

Ashton giggles again and Luke can feel the blush creeping onto his cheeks. 

“ _Michael_ ,” he warns. 

This time, Michael stands from the bed and raises his hands in defense. “I’m going, I’m going, sheesh! I can tell when I’m not wanted.” With a mischievous grin, he walks back into the hallway but doesn’t actually leave without adding, “I’m just saying it would be more appropriate if I was Ashton’s teacher. Unlike a certain _someone_ , I wouldn’t have the urge to stare at his—” 

“Bye!” Luke shouts over him and slams the door. He hears his friend laugh from the other side, but ignores it. 

Ashton, of course, is still staring at him with an amused gleam in his eyes. 

So Luke clears his throat, sits back onto the bed, and begins sifting through the variety of snacks. 

“Sorry about that,” he mutters. 

“I don’t mind.” Because Ashton knows that Luke wants to ask, he adds, “He said that when you came back in, we should pretend like we were talking about you because your reaction would be funny. He wasn’t wrong, but I think… _cute_ is a better word.” 

Luke groans and has to physically stop himself from covering his face with his hands in shame. He was definitely going to have to get revenge on Michael, for this. 

“I’m sorry,” Ashton chuckles, but then he pauses with uncertainty. “Are you… angry?” 

Luke had begun to bite into the cookie he was holding, so he quickly answers, “No, not at all. He always does this sort of thing. It’s… basically how our friendship works, no big deal.” 

“Oh.” 

Ashton chooses to try a piece of chocolate from the mini pile of snacks, and ends up eating all of the other chocolate flavored things that Luke had brought into the room. There’s a comfortable silence amongst them for a while, aside from when Luke briefly teases Ashton about his sudden chocolate splurge. 

“You guys seem pretty close,” comes the random comment that breaks the silence. 

“Hm...?” 

“You and your friends,” Ashton elaborates. “It’s as if you’ve known each other your whole lives.” 

“Oh, yeah.” Luke answers, but then quickly shakes his head. “I mean, to the first part. We’re close, but I’ve only been friends with them since, like, Year Ten. Michael and Calum have known each other for much longer.” 

With a small smile, he adds, “But, we’re basically like brothers.” 

Ashton grins back. “Sometimes you want to kill ‘em, other times you wonder where you’d be without them?” 

“Pretty much.” 

The silence between them returns for about fifteen seconds, then Ashton mutters, “Must be nice.” 

Which, of course, prompts Luke to ask, “What about you? Your friends ever drive you crazy but you love them anyway?” 

At first, the only answer that he gets is a nonchalant shrug, until Ashton realizes that Luke is waiting for some sort of explanation; not that he actually has one, but. 

“I don’t think I have friends like that,” Ashton settles with. 

“But, I thought… what about Liam and the others?”

Ashton seems to fidget uncomfortably, but he answers anyway. “Nah… I mean, we’re cool and we enjoy each other’s company, but most of them live in England. I usually see them once a year, or whenever they decide to vacation here—since, you know, this is a vacation spot. But, people come and go all the time. You learn to get used to it.” 

For some reason, hearing that makes Luke feel a little sad. 

“Oh… and the locals? Aren’t you close to any of them?” 

“Everyone here is really nice to me, for the most part.” Ashton suddenly laughs a little. “Sometimes, my neighbor bakes me things when her grandchildren aren’t around to eat them. But, no, to answer your question.” 

Determined, Luke quickly says, “You seem pretty close to the other lifeguards, though.” 

“Well, of course. We’re a team and people rely on our efficient communication and cooperation with one another. If we don’t have that, we’d be pretty shit at guarding the lives of everyone we’re supposed to protect. It involves a lot of trust, so I do feel this sort of… connection with them? Yeah, but it’s not the same as the friendships you make on your own.” 

Ashton finishes with a soft smile, saying, “You three are adorable.” 

Luke thinks it’s meant to be a compliment so he smiles back, even though now there’s this gloomy feeling that resonates within him from knowing that Ashton doesn’t have anyone he considers a best friend. 

It just seems _wrong_ , because Luke has always had best friends, even if some had become distant. He knows that Michael and Calum never would, though. The three of them were inseparable. Not even college will change that.

He’s sure of it.

*** 

“When are you going to formally introduce us to Ashton?”

Luke glances up from his phone after his friend with the vibrantly-colored hair plops down next to him on the couch. He doesn’t know where or when Michael went out and bought hair dye, but it was plainly obvious that he had decided to use it sometime today. 

“You look like a rainbow puked onto your head,” he teases, although it’s not _that_ bad, to be honest. It definitely is more of a ‘beach-y look’, which is what Michael had been yearning for. 

Michael lightly punches him in the arm. “Answer the question, blondie.” 

Luke frowns a little. “You’ve met Ashton half a dozen times, though.” 

“Yes, but always by accident! You’ve never actually _properly_ introduced him to me nor Calum, which I find to be quite offensive.” When he’s sure that Luke is paying attention, he continues, “I mean, you’ve been hanging out with him for, like, two weeks now. I’m not saying he needs my approval, but as your best friend, can you really blame me for being skeptical?” 

Luke attempts to understand what his friend is getting at, but the thought only makes him shudder. “No way, I’m not ‘formally’ introducing you to Ashton if you’re gonna act like a nosy parent. Besides, your new hair might scare him away for good.” 

In a brisk movement, Luke ruffles Michael’s hair and gets his hand slapped away with a hiss. Instead of being an emo Pokémon, Luke thinks that now his friend looks like someone’s fluffy white cat that rolled around in colorful chalk residue. And just like a cat, he was a little cute, a little dangerous, but mostly just irritating at the wrong times. 

“Is that Ashton?” Michael suddenly asks, pointing to Luke’s phone. 

“Um, yeah. Why...?” 

Before he knows it, Michael is snatching the phone out of his hand and scrambling to the other side of the couch so that Luke can no longer reach it. 

With an incredulous gasp, he shouts, “ _Sexting_? Lucas Robert Hemmings, you have some explaining to do!” 

Luke quickly denies the accusation with a feverish shake of the head. He feels ridiculous for blushing as if he’d actually been caught, because _obviously_ he and Ashton weren’t sexting - they haven’t even kissed yet! Sometimes, he isn’t sure if they ever will. 

“But—I wasn’t even—oh my god, Michael, give me back my phone!” Luke stammers, his reaction time delayed significantly by his own thoughts. He launches himself across the couch and pins his menacing friend against the cushions, but Michael only laughs and pretends to read the messages in a Shakespearean accent. 

“‘ _Oh, Ashton! With your divine curly locks and your breathtaking abdominal muscles…_ ” 

“Shut up, it doesn’t say that—!” 

“… _oh, how I yearn to be deeply penetrated by your massive meat stick! For I oft dream of it, most every night.’_ ” 

“Meat stick? Seriously? Jesus, you’re fucking disgusting,” Luke groans, but he’s trying _really_ damn hard not to laugh. 

“Introduce us to Ashton, and I’ll stop.” 

“No.” 

Michael glares up at him, challenging him further. “I wonder what Ashton would think if he received a text from you in the middle of the night, one that included the words ‘daddy’ and ‘spank me’—” 

“Fine, fine! Sheesh, _okay_ , I’ll introduce you to him if it matters that much.” 

The glare turns into a wicked grin and Luke receives his phone again. With a sigh, he sends Ashton one last text to let him know that he’s going to be a minute late to their agreed meeting time for surfing lessons, due to a ‘minor setback’. 

“It’s kind of funny,” Michael comments from next to him, “You know that I would never actually do anything like that, nor do I go through with _half_ of the other threats that I make; yet, you always give in to me. Am I really that powerful and intimidating?” 

Luke snorts. “No, I give in because you’re my friend and I usually don’t mind these things as much as I pretend to. Also, you’re about as intimidating as a grumpy cat.” 

This time when he ruffles Michael’s hair, he’s quick to avoid the slap to the wrist. 

“Hey, guys?” Calum calls out from within the kitchen. When he emerges in the living room at last, he has the most confused expression on his face. “Has anyone seen my candy? I’ve been looking for it everywhere.” 

Shit. 

That would be Luke’s cue to leave. He quickly mutters an ‘I owe you’ before rushing out of the front door to meet Ashton at the beach. 

***

Today will be the first time that Luke has set foot in the ocean since he nearly drowned, eight days ago. 

The couple of surfing lessons that they’ve had together in the span of days between now and then mainly consisted of two things: Ashton telling him the mechanisms of surfing whilst mixing funny stories of his own experiences in between, and Luke practicing the pop-up method of standing up on a board; only, this was always done on land with an outline that Ashton traced into the wet sand. 

Out of context, it wouldn’t seem as if they’d accomplished much of anything, to be honest. The lessons mainly took place on Ashton’s days off, but since he didn’t have too many of those, he was generous enough to teach Luke in the early hours of the mornings, as well as giving him random tips and advice during his lunch hours or in the evenings. Still, in the short span of time, Luke managed to learn _some_ things. But even if he hadn’t, being able to just hang out with Ashton was more than good enough for him. 

Since Ashton really didn’t have to be doing _any_ of this for him, Luke made sure to express his gratitude by listening to everything Ashton said without complaint, and sometimes offering to buy him a milkshake when their lesson was over. Ashton tended to politely decline the latter, claiming that he needed to ‘stay fit’ because he was a lifeguard and Luke was the evil temptress that tried to seduce him with sweet food. An innocent smile usually changed his mind, though. 

“So, your main objectives for today are basically to paddle through the water and stay on the board. The idea is to get a feel for the waves, learn to recognize them as they lift and propel you forward. Simple, right?”

Luke nods when he knows that he should, but it just doesn’t feel right. Ashton is talking and Luke is hearing—he’s also _listening_ , since Ashton frequently reminds him that they are two different things—but it was like none of it was registering in his mind. That probably doesn’t even make sense. 

Ugh. Whatever. 

“Luke?” Ashton steps closer and Luke feels a reassuring hand gently pressing into the small of his back. “Are you alright? You haven’t said a word.” 

In truth, Luke is anything but alright. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration because he doesn’t feel like he’ll have some sort of panic attack or anything, which is a blessing. The fear nonetheless settled within his bones, though, and he couldn’t seem to shake it away. It was enough to freeze him where he stood and no amount of self-encouragement could get him to move. It’s strange because he hadn’t been afraid of re-entering the ocean again until the exact moment that he was about to. 

The last time that Ashton had asked him a similar question, Luke had lied and it nearly cost him his life. 

“I promised that I wouldn’t lie to you anymore,” he begins, albeit slowly. 

“…I remember,” Ashton quietly replies, and then he’s waiting patiently for Luke to finish. 

A small part of Luke is inwardly yelling at him, telling him that he has no right to be afraid because his near-death experience was hardly as bad as it could’ve been. This part of himself keeps repeating that he’s making a huge deal out of nothing, because he is a weak, whiny little child. 

The other part of him, the part that’s so much _louder_ , keeps replaying that moment in his mind. Over and over again. He sees himself crashing into the sharp rocks and plummeting deep below into the darkness, the raging tides swishing his body around like a rag doll; he’d thought that he would never see the surface again. And… yeah, he doesn’t want to have to face that experience ever again in his entire life. 

Luke takes a deep breath and exhales when his lungs force him to. “I’m afraid,” he murmurs. 

The hand on his lower back shifts until Ashton’s arm has wrapped itself around Luke’s waist, pulling him just a bit closer. The tan arm is warm against Luke’s bare skin, which had almost become cool despite the heat of the summer sun. 

“That’s understandable,” Ashton says, and whether it’s done unconsciously or not, his fingers lightly drum against Luke’s waist. “To be honest, I’d be surprised if you _weren’t_ , after what you’ve been through. But, you know, everyone reacts differently to these sorts of experiences. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We can always try another day.” 

Luke considers it for as much as half a second, before he’s shaking his head. “I feel like I want to do this, though? Like, I know I don’t _have_ to, but… I want to do this. I _need_ to do this, right now, so that I can get it over with sooner.” 

Yeah. That sounds about right. Luke feels like his desire to learn the sport and do it successfully is much greater than the fear that holds him back. He’s still fucking scared, but admitting it doesn’t leave him with that feeling of imminent _doom_ that dominated his senses only a minute ago. 

“If you’re absolutely sure, then I say go for it.” 

Ashton gives one last comforting pat against Luke’s side before retracting his arm completely. The spots where his skin had come into contact with Ashton’s instantly begins to grow cold again, but it’s no longer noticeable when those dimples are smiling at him with their usual radiance. Luke feels a small rush of confidence and some other good feeling that he can’t quite comprehend. 

“Thanks,” he blurts out while he’s still able to, “for being here. And, like, for always taking the time to patiently teach me, when you could be doing things that you actually want to do.” 

Ashton cackles, and it’s a beautiful sound. “Don’t thank me for teaching you until you can properly surf, Lukey boy. Also,” he gives Luke a gentle nudge towards the water, “I’m here because I want to be. Now, focus on paddling correctly and feeling the waves—I’ll be watching from nearby, if you need me. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” 

When Luke’s toes meet the water for the first time again, he’s not nearly as afraid as before. 

He does everything that Ashton has taught him so far. When he’s deep enough into the ocean, he holds the board out in front of him and lies down on top of it, then begins using his arms to paddle with deep strokes. Ashton’s voice is in his head, reminding him that slow, powerful strokes do much more than fast and shallow ones. And Luke listens to this, moving through the relatively calm water. 

It’s unlike the waves at Whites Beach, which had been devastatingly harsh that day Luke had gone with Ashton and his friends. He doesn’t want to think about that, though. That was a day in the past, and it hadn’t been a rather good one. Instead, Luke focuses on what he’s supposed to, and that is to feel for the waves and get used to them. It isn’t as difficult as he’d imagined it would be, which he will probably change his mind about when it was time to practice actually _standing up_ on the board. Luke knows that that will be a frustrating day, because obviously it’s not the same as skateboarding, which is something he can actually do. 

The time goes by rather quickly and everything is peaceful when he returns to shore. Ashton greets him with a warm smile. 

“You did great!” 

“All I did was paddle around for twenty minutes.” 

Ashton rolls his eyes. “Which is exactly what you were supposed to do! Practice paddling and getting a feel for the waves. I watched, and you caught so many.” He then reaches up and brushes a lock of wet hair behind Luke’s ear, as if it were a natural gesture that he always did. “Also, you conquered your fear. That seems like a pretty big accomplishment to me. I’m proud of you, Luke.” 

If Luke starts to turn beet red, he tells himself that it’s due to the afternoon sun shining down onto its helpless victims. He utters a quiet thank you and hopes that it isn’t obvious when he leans into the touch, once Ashton’s hand has settled on his shoulder. 

“So, um… who taught you how to surf?” Luke asks, because he is both curious to find out and because they’ve kind of been doing that silent staring thing that they sometimes do. 

At the question, Ashton’s body language goes from relaxed to slightly uncomfortable in a split second, and Luke almost regrets asking it when it seems like the hand on his shoulder will let go. Instead, Ashton straightens up and it’s almost casual when he does answer, as if he weren’t at all bothered. Luke would’ve believed it, if he hadn’t noticed first. 

“My dad,” he answers coolly. 

It’s an obvious sign that Luke shouldn’t pry any further and it would be best to drop the subject altogether, but he’s just so _curious_ and Ashton never tells him anything related to his family or background, aside from a few funny stories of things that happened to himself when he was a kid. In contrast, Luke just about always mentions his family and friends and everything in between, when they aren’t talking about surfing or music or whatever else he and Ashton share an interest for. 

So, he doesn’t stop himself when he continues to ask, “Is he a surfer, too? Or… _was_ he?” 

Ashton’s shrug is apathetic. “Sort of,” he says, but he sounds distracted as he tugs Luke over to the fake surfboard that was still traced in the sand. “Before we finish for today, I want you to practice your stance a little more.” 

Luke decides to let the subject drop. 

He spends the next five minutes in the sand, practicing the pop-up method again and again until he’s grown a little tired from doing the same movements so many times in a row. Ashton explains that he’s training his leg muscles to get used to the stance so that when he performs the same move on water, it’ll be automatic and he can focus on the important things. Like actually riding a wave, for instance. Luke knows all of this already, though, since it’s been told to him at least a dozen times now. 

In fact, the only reason he fucks up and loses balance—despite standing on firm land—is because he catches sight of something that he hadn’t expected to see. 

“What the hell was that, Luke? You were doing perfectly,” Ashton sighs, seemingly a little agitated for some reason; but, he helps Luke stand back up, anyway. 

“Shit, sorry—I was, um,” Luke stammers, and he glances back toward the direction that had distracted him. Lo and behold, his eyes hadn’t betrayed him after all. With a sigh, he says, “I have bad news.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Luke hesitantly points in the direction of the walkway, where Michael and Calum had been standing and waving frantically to Luke like two embarrassing parents at an awards ceremony. Only, now they were coming _closer_ and Luke really doesn’t have a good feeling about this. 

“Oh, it’s your friends,” Ashton nonchalantly comments, waving back to them. “Why are they bad news?” 

Luke licks his lips and it comes out as a bunch of gibberish when he hurriedly explains, “Okay, so, I may or may not have made a promise to one of them that involves you—and now the four of us are kind of supposed to hang out or something except I forgot to tell you about it until now and I don’t even know if you want to or not? Plus, you probably already have plans today so I’d totally understand if you don’t want to, and—” 

“That’s it?” 

As Luke stops and desperately tries to catches his breath, Ashton is softly giggling next to him. He seems to contemplate the offer for a couple of seconds, and then he nods. 

“Well, sure, I guess. I don’t have anything else that needs taking care of today. What are we going to be doing, though?” 

Hearing that puts the biggest smile on Luke’s face and the warmest feeling in his chest. He doesn’t even care what the four of them get up to, because Ashton is going to be there and that automatically makes it even more fun. Well, as long as their outing or whatever doesn’t end up with the same results as that night at the club. But, other than that, he doubts that it will be anything other than fun. 

Luke is about to answer with a few of his own suggestions, when his friends eventually approach them. 

“Ashton! My most favorite lad,” Michael proclaims, then he leans an arm on Ashton’s shoulder as if he’d known him for years. “Thanks for taking such good care of our little Lukey, I hope he’s behaving himself.” 

“How’s his surfing coming along?” Calum asks. 

“He’s doing pretty well, actually. Lots of progress has been made, especially today.” With an ecstatic fist pump and a bright smile, Ashton announces, “Lukey caught his first wave! Soon enough, I’ll be able to work on him actually _surfing_ them.” 

The other two boys cheer and shower Ashton with compliments on his astounding teaching skills and devotion. Luke, on the other hand, tries hard not to feel annoyed as he loudly clears his throat. 

“You know, Luke is standing right here, if you guys haven’t noticed.” 

“Shhh, Lukey, the grown-ups are talking,” Michael teases. “Congrats, though.” 

“Screw you—and stop calling me that. You’re not allowed to call me that.” 

Luke only realizes what that implies after it leaves his mouth, and then he feels his face flushing all over again. Because, yeah, it’s _exactly_ what it implies. Only Ashton can call him that, because it only sounds good when _Ashton_ says it. Just Ashton. No one else could use the nickname ‘Lukey’ and he isn’t even sure when he established that rule, but he’s really fucking glad when Calum starts talking, because whatever Michael was about to reply with would’ve totally embarrassed Luke in front of the very person he desperately wants to like him. 

“Hey, Ashton, we were just about to go and get some ice cream. You should come with us. Luke is buying, so no worries.” 

“What? When did I even say that?” Appalled, Luke looks to his friend for an explanation but he’s only met with a sly grin. 

Oh, right. 

The missing candy and ‘I owe you’ debacle. 

“Fine, yeah, I’m buying,” he sighs, because he most definitely deserves this. 

Maybe it’ll be worth it, he thinks when he sees the way that Ashton smiles at him. 

“Sure, I’ll go. Ice cream sounds nice.” 

***

After Luke dries off and puts on a shirt, the four of them walk up to the small Baskin Robbins shop positioned next to a Dominoes—which, to be honest, sounds even more appealing that ice cream right now; but, Luke is satisfied with his two scoops on a waffle cone. When the cool treat touches his tongue for the first time, he suddenly realizes how unnecessarily hot it is outside, compared to the sweet ice cream. It both feels and tastes like bliss. Pure, saccharine bliss. 

“Whoever decided to put cookies in ice cream can have my children,” he practically moans into the treat. “It’s the best ice cream flavor, hands down.” 

Calum shakes his head in disagreement when he finally joins them at their table, plopping down next to Michael. It always takes him forever to choose a flavor, which doesn’t make much sense because he usually chooses the same one every time. “Mint chocolate is better,” he declares. 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. Chocolate is the best,” Michael argues. 

Ashton just scoffs at all of their foolish claims. “You’re all delusional! Vanilla is where it’s at. Go hard or go home.” 

“What do you mean ‘go hard’? Vanilla is boring,” Luke teases. He more or less expects it when Ashton elbows him in the side, but he absolutely _refuses_ to retract his statement. 

“Be quiet, _Lucas_. You’re eating cookie-flavored ice cream.” 

“And? It’s the perfect invention. I mean, think about it: you’re hungry and can’t decide if you want to splurge on cookies or ice cream. Well, guess what? Some genius decided to _combine_ them. World peace is one step closer.” 

Ashton doesn’t listen to him, though, instead rolling his eyes at the hyperbole. “Okay, there’s no way that it can be _that_ good. Not that I’ve ever tried it, but whatever.” 

Luke nearly drops his ice cream. “Are you serious? You’ve never… never ever tried cookies and cream? _Ever_?” 

“Nope. Never ever.” 

“Quick, try some of mine!” Luke holds the cone out in front of Ashton, urging him to take a lick. 

It isn’t as if the guy would die if he didn’t get some into his system really soon—but, it was just so wrong! Everyone needs to try cookies and cream at least once in their lifetime. Everyone. If they didn’t like it, then natural selection would probably take them out soon enough. Probably. 

Ashton looks down at the cone and frowns. “Are you sure?” 

Luke nods. “Completely sure. Just try it. I promise you won’t regret it.” 

“…Well, alright, I guess.” 

The hand that Ashton isn’t using to hold his own ice cream comes up and slowly wraps around Luke’s to steady the cone before him. It isn’t actually necessary, since it’s not like Luke has extremely shaky hands, but that’s obviously not his intent here. Ashton carefully leans forward, tongue peeking out to the side of his mouth and he looks back up before tasting it. 

“Where should I lick it?” he asks, lashes fluttering. 

Luke has no idea how he manages to answer, because he fucking swears to each and every god in the universe that his soul has already left his body, at this point. 

“Um… a-anywhere you want?” 

So Ashton drags the tip of his tongue along the top of the ice cream, biting a small bit of it to get some of the cookie that’s mixed in before pulling back. He’s humming in appreciation as he licks the yummy cream from his lips. He smiles a little, and Luke is positively sure that this guy is trying to kill him. 

But, he basically already has. 

“Not bad,” Ashton murmurs with a nod. 

And Luke, poor little Luke, gulps so hard that his Adam’s apple bobs painfully in his throat. 

How the _hell_ had this suddenly become a sexual thing when all he wanted to do was get Ashton to try his favorite ice cream flavor?

“Would you like to try some of mine?” Ashton offers.

It’s probably best to decline, after that mini episode nearly gave him a heart attack.

“Okay,” Luke says instead. Because, you know, how the hell was he supposed to say no at a time like this? 

Luke doesn’t make a show of licking the ice cream, though. He simply does it and tries to be quick about it, but some of it ends up on his nose. 

“Oops,” Ashton giggles, revealing that he’d moved the cone on purpose. 

Luke isn’t even annoyed and he finds himself giggling a little, too. He’s fretfully glancing around the small table for a napkin when Ashton presents one instead. 

“Here, let me help,” Ashton says, lightly dabbing the paper on Luke’s nose. Luke wonders if his nose is as red as Rudolph’s, although his entire face is no doubt flushed enough to match it. “There ya go.” 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. 

“…Wow.” 

Luke’s head shoots up, glancing across the table when Michael suddenly speaks. 

 _Oh_. 

Right, of course his friends are still sitting there, watching the entire time that this whole… _thing_ went on between he and Ashton. How the hell did the rest of the world always end up disappearing whenever he and Ashton were close like this? Michael had his mouth wide open, astonished beyond expression, while Calum was covering his face with a hand to hide his overt laughter. It wasn’t helping much at all. 

Now would probably be a good time to stop existing, Luke thinks. 

“Well isn’t that just _sweet_? Two laddy-lads sharing ice cream because sharing is caring!” Michael teases, because of course he would. It’s his _job_. “Would you like to lick some of _my_ ice cream, Luke?” 

By now Calum has exploded into a fit of hysteria, unable to control his laughter as tears begin to stream down his cheeks. Luke hopes that he laughs so much he pisses on himself and has to walk back to the beach house in shame. Michael is still trying to shove his own ice cream in Luke’s face, urging him to take a lick and, wow, Luke really needs to find some new friends as soon as possible. 

Worst of all, when he glances to his side for help, he finds Ashton innocently enjoying his own ice cream and staring out of the window as if he were ignorant to everything around him—which is a total lie, considering the small smirk on his face that gives him away.

The three of them must’ve had some sort of diabolical plan to make Luke’s life a living hell, and this hell came in the form of a circus and he was the main act for everyone to laugh at. That was the only explanation for all of this. 

“You’re one of us now, Ashton,” Michael declares later on, when they’ve all finished their ice cream and grown bored of teasing Luke. 

Instead, his friends had resorted to asking Ashton a bit about himself in hopes of getting to know him better. Unlike Luke had done earlier, they don’t ask any personal questions, just his opinions on things that they deem necessary. Like music, for instance. Both Michael and Calum decide that Ashton’s taste in music is good enough for them, and so they ‘allow’ him to continue hanging out with Luke since they now know that their friend’s mind won’t be tainted with bad musical influences. 

They don’t agree, however, on Ashton’s lack of enthusiasm for FIFA. They disagree so much that they spend at least twenty minutes trying to convince him that they can get him to like it, and that he must be crazy for claiming that it’s _uninteresting_. Even Luke finds that offensive, and after arguing like children for a while, the four of them decided to agree to disagree. 

“Thanks?” Ashton replies to Michael, though he’s skeptical and jokingly adds, “Oh god, please tell me I didn’t just join a cult.” 

Michael laughs. “Nope! No black magic, whatsoever. I promise. Although, I can’t say much about the suspicious looking voodoo doll in Calum’s room…” 

“The most important things you should know about Mikey is that he lies a lot and is currently going bald, so don’t get attached to his colorful hair,” Calum counters. 

“Cal sends nudes to the elderly.” 

“ _Ew_ —see, he’s lying again! He also gets off to video game characters and—” 

And the banter goes on until Luke is sighing and Ashton laughs, totally amused by it all. 

“As you can see, we’re just three barnacle heads, really,” Luke explains to him. 

That’s pretty much what he and his friends are: three barnacles in the form of teenage boys, living in a beach house for a summer with no adult supervision. Things were bound to go wrong sooner or later, but for the moment, this was it. Now that Ashton has more or less just been recruited, Luke wouldn’t really call him the fourth barnacle in their group. 

Ashton is more like a jellyfish, in a way. Yeah, because he is beautiful and flows elegantly in the water and gives people the urge to touch him, even though they’ll most likely get stung. Not to say that he’s dangerous—he just has a way of looking completely harmless and soft with those curls and that gorgeous smile of his; yet, he’s authoritative at the same time. Not in a domineering way or anything, but in a way that definitely shows how in control of things he seems to be at all times. 

It kind of makes Luke jealous, if he’s being honest with himself. He wants that confidence and self-assuring attitude that Ashton naturally glows with. Maybe that was what attracted him to Ashton the most? Who knows. 

“Guess what! We’ve decided that we’re going to the arcade tonight,” Michael announces, causing Luke to push aside his strange analogies. 

“When did we decide that?” he questions. 

“Just now, duh. You would’ve heard if you had been listening. Think of it as a sort of… initiation, for our new friend.” 

Luke turns back to Ashton. “Are you okay with that?” 

Ashton looks a little confused, as if he was wondering why they were inviting him again to hang out somewhere. In fact, it almost looks like he doesn’t believe it. But, he seems to shake himself out of his stupor before too much time has passed. 

“Oh, um, okay. That sounds like fun, actually.” 

“Cool. We’ll meet you there around seven-thirty?” Calum says. “Unless Luke would like to rent a carriage and escort you—” 

“He knows where it is,” Luke quickly interrupts. “See you in a few hours, Ash!” And then he’s hurriedly (and forcefully) ushering his friends away before they can do any more damage. 

A few hours turns into what feels like a few years, and in that duration, Luke changes his outfit at least five or six times. 

There’s only so many band t-shirts and flannels that he has, but he has to choose the _right_ one. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, either. Calum passes by his bedroom once or twice and kindly reminds him that it’s not a date and Ashton probably couldn’t give less of a fuck about what he’s wearing, but it doesn’t help in calming Luke’s nerves. Besides, part of him wants Ashton to care. After all, who doesn’t want their crush to see them and admire how good they look? 

Uh. 

Not that Ashton _is_ a crush. At least, not an _official_ crush like the ones you get at school. 

Okay, so he’s really hot and cool. Luke wants to kiss him and impress him and massage his curly scalp and there’s also the fact that he _saved Luke’s life_ so now Luke would always feel this connection and a certain level of gratitude towards him. But, that’s it! There weren’t any weird feelings involved. This was just a little ‘summertime crush’ thing and it was a bonus that they had a lot in common. 

Yeah. Ashton is just really fun to be around. Who wouldn’t want to be checked out by him? 

Despite how short of a distance it is to the arcade, they’re still nearly late to the agreed meeting time because Luke had decided that his hair was the most horrible it had ever been, and therefore he needed to search for his snapback. In that moment, he largely regretted having a messy room. It all turns out in his favor when he finally does find the hat so he and his friends can get going. 

Luke feels rather decent in his snapback and Nirvana t-shirt—which he totally didn’t put on just because he knew that a certain someone also liked Nirvana—and so there’s a confident smile on his face when they approach a patiently waiting Ashton in front of the arcade. 

“Hi,” comes Ashton’s usual greeting, filled with dimples and rays of sunshine. 

“Hey,” Luke responds with a little wave. 

“That’s a nice shirt you’ve got there. I like it.” 

Score one for Luke Hemmings. Fuck yes. 

“Thanks, um… I like your shirt, too.” 

“This old thing?” Ashton chuckles, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “It’s got holes in it, but what can I say? AC/DC is the shit.” 

Luke grins and finds himself chewing on his lip ring. “Well, it looks good on you.”

“Okay, okay, we get it,” Michael interrupts with an obnoxious groan. “You literally saw each other a few hours ago. Now, let’s play some games already!” 

The arcade is basically empty, for the most part. There were a few people around their ages mainly just walking about the area, but almost every machine was available to them. Michael considers this to be the greatest thing ever, apparent by the fact that he was already pouring coins into one game after another as if he were at a casino. It was amusing to watch for a while, but if he winds up poor by the end of the night, that would be his own fault. 

In the beginning, Ashton mainly stands back as the three of them play, a mere spectator when Luke gets his ass kicked in Dance Dance Revolution by Calum and whatnot. At first, Luke thinks that maybe Ashton doesn’t like these kinds of games and thinks that they are for children. But, it soon becomes clear when he’s playing a game alone that he’s just feeling a little… shy. 

It totally doesn’t make any sense to Luke, because of how loud and outgoing Ashton usually appears to be. He always looks as if he knows what he wants and simply goes after it, no matter what anyone has to say about it. Yet, here and now, he’s become this essence of soft chuckles and polite smiles as if he isn’t sure how comfortable he should be. It bothers Luke, so he coerces Ashton into playing with them by making silly bets and challenging his skills at some of the machines. 

His plan works rather well, because soon enough, Ashton is practically screaming at the bike racing game that he’s playing, desperate to defeat Calum’s high score and avenge Luke’s honor. When he finally does, the two of them share a victory screech and an unprecedented hug that maybe lasts longer than intended, but hey, Luke is definitely not complaining about that little detail. 

“I wasn’t even trying that hard, you know. That’s the only reason you beat me,” Calum argues with a subtle pout. 

“Oh, I’m _sure_ you weren’t, Cal!” Ashton laughs. He then climbs back onto the fake motorcycle and pats the seat behind him. “If you want, I could teach you how it’s done?” 

Calum rolls his eyes and with a smirk, hops onto the back of the bike, anyway. 

And, no, Luke is _not_ hit in the face with a bit of jealousy when his best friend’s hands are comfortably situated on Ashton’s waist. That would be ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. 

“Hey, Luke. Take a picture of us!” Calum suggests. 

They’re posing expectedly, so he doesn’t really have a choice in the matter. Not that he minds.

Much.  

“You guys are so weird,” Luke half-laughs. He’s just taken the picture with the camera on his phone when a familiar face jumps in the way of the lens. 

“What the hell are you three even doing?” Michael asks, and he’s carrying a massive stack of tickets that he’d somehow won in a short amount of time; at least, it feels like not much time has passed, but Luke isn’t sure because he’s having so much fun. 

“Someone’s been busy,” Calum says. 

“Yes, I have! I’m productive like that, unlike some people.” Michael points an accusing finger at the machines they’d been play. “Those don’t give any tickets, they’re worthless.” 

“Oh my god,” Luke groans. “Don’t tell me you’re _still_ trying to get enough tickets for that Nerf gun you could literally buy for three dollars at a toy shop.” 

Michael pouts, and Luke has to glance away because the whole grumpy-cat look works too well. “You said you would help me!” 

“Yeah, but that was before I realized it was worth a trillion tickets!” 

“Nothing is worth a trillion tickets, moron. You’re exaggerating so that you won’t have to keep your promise!” 

“Guys, guys—come on, you sound like a couple of twelve-year-olds,” Ashton interrupts as he hops off the bike. “I say we help Mikey out, and I know a pretty easy way that we could do it, too.” 

He doesn’t immediately explain how, instead simply walking away. So, the three of them curiously follow. Ashton leads them to a small machine at one of the corners of the arcade and it looks fairly old, but it’s still useable. 

“How does it even work?” Michael questions, brows knit in confusion. 

Ashton silently demonstrates by inserting a coin into the machine and pressing one of the colorful buttons. It lands on a matching color and suddenly, the machine is flashing a ton of shiny lights and a cheerful chime as tickets spew from the side. It’s worth the previous annoyance, because now Luke gets to see Michael squeal like a child waking up on Christmas morning. 

“Oh my god, Ashton, I love you!” he shouts excitedly. A second later he’s devoting all of his attention to the machine and forcing Calum to help him. 

“How’d you know it would be that simple?” Luke asks after a moment. 

Ashton shrugs as if it were nothing. “I’ve played it a bunch of times, it’s easy to get used to and only costs one token for each try.” 

“A bunch of times, huh? So, I take it you come here often.” 

Ashton seems to stammer at the comment, and maybe Luke finds it a little cute that the guy is actually embarrassed. 

“No, I—well, I’ve _been_ here plenty of times and it’s not like the machines change—but, I don’t come here often. As in, like, I haven’t been here in a while. Not really.” 

“Okay.” 

“…Are you making fun of me, Luke Hemmings?” 

“All I did was say okay!” he laughs. 

Ashton giggles and there’s a playful gleam in his eyes when he says, “Come on, let’s find something to amuse ourselves with.” 

Luke accepts. His friends don’t seem to really need his help, anyway, which is a plus because now he basically gets to have Ashton to himself again. Not that he was purposely hoping for that or anything. He definitely wasn’t. It was still a plus, though. 

They play one random shooting game together for a while until their characters eventually die and they lose interest. They probably lost because of Luke continuously glancing over at Ashton instead of reloading and shooting at the screen when he was supposed to, but the game was subpar and had shitty graphics, so whatever. No loss, there. 

It’s when they’re passing by a particular machine to find something else to play that Luke halts momentarily, distracted by a large prize lying behind the glass. 

“Find something interesting?” Ashton asks from over his shoulder, and Luke nearly jumps. 

“No, uh, not really—it’s just a bunch of plushies.” 

Ashton nods, but he’s still gazing through the glass at the pile of stuffed animals in the machine. Luke, however, would very much like to move on because letting a hot guy know that you still like soft, squishable stuffed animals isn’t exactly the most successful method of seduction. No matter how cuddly they look. 

And soft.

Cuddly and soft and cute and _wow_ he really wants one, but that’s not the point, here. 

“Were you looking at the penguin?” 

“I… maybe,” Luke answers with hesitation; because, on one hand, it’s still majorly embarrassing. But on the other hand, Ashton remembers what his favorite animal is. He can only recall mentioning his fascination with penguins maybe once or twice, but still. 

Ashton nods once more, eyes full of determination. “Okay. I’ll get it for you.” 

“What? No, that’s… Ashton, I don’t need you to win me a stuffed animal at an arcade,” Luke protests. 

“You’d rather I win it for you at a carnival or something? Would that be more romantic?” he teases, gaze locking with Luke’s and a grin forming on his lips. 

Obviously, Luke has absolutely no clue what to say to that or even what it implies, but it’s too late because Ashton is sliding a coin into the machine and gently nudging Luke out of the way. 

“You do want the penguin, right? I’ll win it for you, then. No big deal.” 

Seeing that any further objections would be useless, Luke stands to the side of the machine and watches while Ashton plays the brief game. 

He loses, the machine’s claw failing to secure a tight enough grip around the stuffed animal. 

“I hope you know that these types of games are literally unwinnable,” Luke mutters with a sigh. “Like, I’m pretty sure that their sole purpose is to scam people. We should play something else.” 

Of course he’s ignored. Ashton quickly inserts yet another coin and grounds himself to the spot where he’s standing, only sparing Luke a brief glance before he’s concentrating on the game again. 

“Kid, one thing you should know about me is that I never give up so easily. Ever. I’ll just have to keep trying, that’s all.”

Although a subtle frown sets in from being referred to as ‘kid’, Luke doesn’t say anything else, opting to stand and watch as Ashton is bound to fail until he’s run out of coins. Hopefully he doesn’t plan on running to get more, because if he does, the results will surely be him going bankrupt. 

Luke’s not sure how much time passes by, but some time later, Calum has joined them, a look of vague curiosity on his face as he witnesses Ashton’s ceaseless attempts at the machine. 

“Where’s Michael?” Luke questions. 

Calum lazily shrugs. “Don’t know. He finally had enough tickets—thanks to me—so he went to redeem them, but then he never came back so I decided to see what you two were up to… what _are_ you up to, anyway?” 

“Shhh. Getting the penguin,” Ashton mutters, momentarily slipping from his trance to communicate with the outside world. 

“He’s _stubbornly_ trying to win the penguin,” Luke corrects, almost absent-mindedly because he’s busy looking around the area for his colorful friend. “Speaking of prizes, looks like Mikey found something that he likes better.” 

When Luke finally did manage to spot Michael, he’s standing at the counter of merchandise, appearing to be engaged in a very _animated_ conversation with the girl who works there. They’re both laughing about something that’s apparently super hilarious, because the sound of their laughter could be heard from where Luke is standing. 

“Aw, they even match each other!” Calum says with a chuckle. The arcade attendant’s shoulder-length hair is dyed a bright pink hue, which actually goes well with Michael’s sort-of-rainbow theme that he has going on.

There’s another bout of laughter coming from where they were standing, and Calum cringes. 

“On second thought, if they fall madly in love and get married, my eyesight will suffer greatly from all the bright-haired babies running around.” 

Luke starts to chuckle at his friend’s quip, but he’s cut off by the loud and excited hoot that hails from behind them. When he turns to look, he’s met with a face-full of soft fur that sort of tickles his nose. 

Ashton is holding out the stuffed penguin in front of him. 

“And that, my friends, is how you win an ‘impossible’ game,” he boasts with pride. 

Who knows how many attempts it had taken Ashton to win the damn thing—Luke had stopped counting after the fifth or sixth try—however, it didn’t turn out to be a complete waste of time and money. He’d actually won, and was damn well proud of doing so, if his vibrant smile is anything to go by. 

At first, Luke merely stares at the prize, astonished. Not because Ashton had actually won—okay, obviously it wasn’t the easiest and fairest game out there—but because he had stubbornly put up with such a stupidly annoying machine just for Luke; although his pride might have had something to do with it, too. Still, Ashton knew that Luke wanted the silly stuffed penguin, so he attempted at winning the thing and didn’t stop until he did. 

The butterflies wildly floating about in Luke’s tummy makes him feel like a teenage girl in a YA novel. 

“Well? Take it. It’s for you, after all,” Ashton says. His tone has gone soft once more, and the way that he’s holding out the stuffed animal is strangely timid, now. It’s almost as if he’s a little nervous that Luke won’t accept it anymore.

Luke reacts by gingerly taking the penguin into his own hands and lightly squeezing it against his chest. It has a factory smell to it, but it’s just as soft and squishy as he’d imagined.

“Thanks,” he murmurs. He’s biting his lip in a shy grin and maybe his cheeks are a tinge of pink, but he doesn’t really care. 

Ashton is mirroring his expression when he says, “You’re very welcome, Lukey. I hope the, uh, level of fluff is to your satisfaction?” 

“Very much so, yes.” 

They both giggle like the two huge dorks that they are, and it just sounds _perfect_. His own little laugh mixed with Ashton’s soul-tickling laughter is such a sugary sweet sound, he wants to be exposed to it at all times of every day. Such an odd thought should make him feel embarrassed or even worried, but it doesn’t. Luke likes Ashton and all of his little sounds, it makes sense to want to be the cause of those noises. 

“That’s really fucking cute,” Calum comments from the side. 

Luke nods, resting his chin on the head of the penguin. “Yeah, it is.” 

“I wasn’t talking about the penguin.” 

His friend is looking at him in _that_ way and Luke is a little slow to grasp the meaning behind those words, but when he does, he simply rolls his eyes and pretends to ignore it.   

So, someone thinks that he and Ashton were pretty cute together. No big deal. 

*** 

They’re making the trek back up the small hill to the beach house, a slow stroll along the sidewalk. Luke and Ashton are walking side-by-side, with Michael and Calum happily marching a few feet ahead of them. The chatter between the four of them is kept to a minimum, only because it’s getting late and they’re all a little tired from being pelted by the heat of the day, although there’s a slight breeze now. 

Michael is the only one who remains quite vocal, waving his new toy gun around and happily blabbering to Calum about the girl who works at the arcade, apparently named Lindsey. Though Luke hadn’t spoken to her or even wandered near the area where she and the merchandise shelf stood, Lindsey had given them a ton of free tokens, so she seems like a pretty nice girl. Michael vocally swore that he’d come back again to spend them, and no one doubted that. 

Luke clutches his stuffed penguin closer to his chest. It’s just big enough to snuggle his face into it like this, but doing so now would probably result in him tripping over something and falling off the sidewalk. Still, he no longer minds the smell of it, instead only focusing on the soft texture of its fur and the fact that it was a gift from Ashton , his ‘not-a-crush’. 

A few times, Luke manages to catch Ashton glancing his way, a small smile spread on his face. It’s actually something that he seems to do quite often, staring at Luke and then turning away with a smile when he’s caught. So, Luke learns to pretend that he hadn’t noticed anything at all, because he doesn’t actually want it to stop. Ashton, in return, pretends not to notice when Luke repeatedly brushes their shoulders together as they’re walking. Maybe it’s these subtle little gestures that speak even louder than their flirtatious words. 

When they’ve reached the beach house, the comfortably-silent spell is broken. 

“Today was wicked fun, guys. Thanks for inviting me,” Ashton starts. Though he’s addressing all three of them, his eyes constantly dart over to Luke. 

“No biggie. It was nice of you to walk us home, Ashton. I feel so special,” Calum jokes. 

“You have to hang out with us more! I demand it,” Michael chimes in, “Like, come over and let us educate you in the art of FIFA. Maybe bring a pizza with you sometimes, because I can tell you now that these two squirrel boys won’t go and get any.” 

Calum interjects with an exasperated sigh. “It was two in the morning when you suddenly wanted to get a pizza! No one wants to walk down to a _closed_ pizza parlor at two in the morning.” 

“He’s lying! It was, _at most_ , one-thirty in the morning. Get your facts straight, Calum.” 

Ashton laughs at their bickering and nods to accept the offer. “Alright, I promise to bring a large pizza next time I come over for guitar lessons with Luke— _if_ you promise not to shove FIFA down my throat, for god’s sake.” 

As expected, no one is able to make that promise, but they all lie and promise to at least try, because pizza is a very important aspect of their teenage boy lives. Michael and Calum say goodnight first, leaving Luke to stand there on the small porch with Ashton. It’s possibly the kindest thing that they’ve done for him all day, but it doesn’t override the amount of teasing that he’s always forced to endure. 

It’s rather silent again, both of them probably waiting for the other to say something. It’s no surprise when Ashton takes the lead and speaks first, having mostly gotten over the passive shyness from earlier that evening. 

“So, I guess I should thank you for letting me hang out with you and your friends. It was nice, doing something fun that won’t result in a hangover,” he laughs.

Luke smiles and holds up the stuffed animal he’s still clenching. “Um, thanks for the penguin. And, it’s no big deal. I mean, you let me hang out with your friends on… that one unfortunate day.” 

“Heh, yeah... but, this was different. I know Mikey and Cal are basically your brothers, so… to willingly let an outsider like me intrude on your fun time—”

"You're not an outsider,” Luke quickly objects. “They really like you, you know. In fact, Michael was throwing a tantrum earlier today because he and Cal hadn’t really gotten to hang out with you yet.” 

Ashton glances up with a look of surprise. “Really?” 

“Mhmm. I was tempted to keep you to myself, at first.” Luke pauses with a laugh to show that he’s joking, but in truth, it’s only half a joke. Regardless, it makes Ashton smirk a little. “But, uh, yeah. They like you a lot, and I’m sure they’d be cool with you hanging around whenever… I mean, why wouldn't they? You’re fun and hilarious, there’s literally nothing to dislike about you. I know that we can be pretty weird and immature and it takes some getting used to, but I think you’ll fit in quite nicely.” 

Luke pauses again as a thought comes to mind. Then he smiles warmly and gazes right into Ashton’s eyes when he says, “You’re special like that.” 

Immediately afterwards, Luke thinks that maybe it was the wrong thing to say or perhaps he should’ve worded it differently, because Ashton merely stares back at him. His large pupils have gone even wider than usual, and his entire face just spells _uncertainty_. Luke nervously shifts his feet into that awkward stance that he unconsciously does sometimes, and he really wishes that he had the ability to read minds, right now. 

“Oh,” Ashton finally responds, too many seconds later for it _not_ to be awkward. “Thanks?” 

“Uh-huh… You okay?” 

“Yeah. I, um, I’ll see you tomorrow? I mean, duh, we’ve already… established that.” 

Ashton smiles at him one last time, before he’s shoving his hands into his back pockets and hurriedly walking away. He seems a little off, but Luke keeps that thought to himself. 

“Um, alright. Goodnight, Ash!” he calls after him. 

Whatever was the matter couldn’t have been that bad, because Ashton looks back at him and waves, still smiling. The way that the full moon shines down upon his taut body makes him glow in an entirely different way, compared to how the sun always shone on him. In the moonlight, Ashton looks _softer_ , somehow. Almost mellow. 

“Yours —I mean, _you_ , too. Goodnight to you, too. Bye, Luke!” 

Ashton had stammered. He’d actually stammered while saying goodnight to Luke, for whatever reason. Maybe Luke should’ve felt a bit of empathy, but he finds himself laughing a little as Ashton disappears into the distance. 

And, why not? Ashton Irwin—aka mister loud, confident, and controlling—had actually shown Luke another side of himself, that evening. He had been shy and unsure around Luke’s friends, and then he stuttered out a hasty goodnight after Luke had said that he was special. Honestly, had the guy ever been any _cuter_? Probably not.

Luke can’t help but think of the bizarre analogy he’d made earlier in the day. So, he and his two dorky best friends were definitely still a bunch of barnacle heads. 

But, maybe Ashton is, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See how I made ot4 begin in _chapter 4_ , teehee I'm so clever. (¬‿¬) Stick around 'cause part 1 of chapter 5 will be uploaded Sunday! It was 23k words long so I had to split it into two parts. So, just a warning.


	5. Fireworks At Sea - I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this part is around 15k words. I had wanted to split chapter 5 evenly, but it just didn't feel right to leave it off at a certain part. So, I apologize in advance for how long this is, and I suggest getting popcorn and relaxing. Thanks for sticking around, you guys are so awesome and I adore you and your feedback.

* * *

 

Ashton has managed to morph into their little group so well that it feels as if he’s been there from the start.

In fact, when Ashton is off lifeguard duty, he spends the majority of his time in the old beach house with them, which is something that Luke will definitely not complain about. Despite the fact that only a week has passed since he’d joined their ‘cult’, those seven days feel more like seven months or more.

It’s kind of crazy just how well he fits in with them. Ashton is a little more mature and experienced than Luke and his friends, but he has this way of coming up with wicked schemes and ideas that the three of them usually get suckered into. They all get along because Ashton’s personality provides this sort of balance that wasn’t as evident as before. Even Michael hushes up and listens to him when he has something to say, a skill that Luke never learned. If it were _him_ that had something to say, Michael would claim that he was being naggy.

Regardless, Luke is truly happy that his friends enjoy having Ashton around so much, and when the four of them are joking around together and laughing at silly things, he remembers what Ashton had said about ‘never having friends like that’. From the looks of things, that was rapidly changing.

One thing that _isn’t_ changing is how attracted Luke is to Ashton. If there’s any change concerning that at all, then it would be that the attraction he feels is only growing stronger with each day that passes. He found even more things to like about the curly-headed cutie, aside from his laugh and his eyes. For instance, Ashton has this obsessive _thing_ for pineapples and always insists on having pineapple pizza whenever they were going to order some. Luke doesn’t care too much for the fruit, but he does care for the giddy way that Ashton looks at him whenever he gave him all of the pineapples from his slice of pizza. Luke is good at sharing like that.

Luke likes to sit on the beach while Ashton is on lifeguard duty, talking to him when he could and watching him go into that sexy lifeguard-mode. He also likes how Ashton always makes sure to include him and hear his opinions on things as if he values them more than anyone else’s. He really likes playing guitar with Ashton and making up silly tunes of their own; he enjoys the surfing lessons and the late-night conversations when Ashton probably should’ve been asleep because he had work in the morning, but insisted on having the last word, anyway.

Yeah, none of that really changed much.

But, neither did Luke’s confusion regarding how Ashton felt about him.

Sometimes, Luke is genuinely sure that Ashton wants to kiss him, too. Positively sure. Because, they’d be talking to each other or doing something together and then there would be one of those _moments_ when they both kind of just knew that, yeah, making out right now would definitely be a wonderful idea. There would be a certain look in Ashton’s eyes that revealed it all—and, just by reading his body language, which was always so close and comfortable around Luke, it was quite easy to tell his intentions.

To be honest, Ashton isn’t very subtle with his habit of staring at Luke and glancing down at his lips when they spoke. He also likes leaning against Luke when there isn’t really any need to, and touching him when he wants to show him something instead of simply pointing at the thing, like normal people would do.

Ashton does all of these things and makes Luke yearn for him more and more—but then, just like that, the moment would be gone. Ashton would look away or move on to the next task as if he hadn’t noticed the tension between them at all, and it was frustrating.

Sometimes it wouldn’t be Ashton’s fault, though. Like when Luke had had him pinned against the sofa, hovering over him and tickling him mercilessly until Ashton had grabbed his hands with such strength, Luke was forced to stop. Ashton was… _really strong_ , not that Luke hadn’t noticed it before. But, it was kind of a turn-on when Ashton had _him_ unable to move this time, even though Luke was still on top. They had basically just stared into each other’s eyes for a brief moment, breathless from laughing so much, and silently challenging one another to see who would make the first move. To see who would lean in and kiss the other.

All of that was put to an end when Calum walked into the room, however.

They were often interrupted like that, in which case Luke was always reminded that he was sharing the beach house with two other people, so of course he should’ve expected it when one of their little moments got interrupted out of nowhere.

Nevertheless, Luke has a few ideas on how they can finally get some privacy.

It’s around noon and the sun is at its peak in the clear blue sky. However, the weather has decided to be a little merciful this day by granting them a few clouds—not that that did much to help with the heat, but at least it was something. Luke doesn’t mind the temperature, though. He had long since gotten used to it, and there were far more important things on his mind, at the moment.

Ashton has them sitting in the cool sand, underneath a tree big enough to provide them with a bit of shade. Out of boredom and his general desire to be around Ashton, Luke had volunteered to help wax a couple of surfboards, which was apparently a thing that he needed to learn to do, anyway. It turns out not being as fun as he’d imagined, but he finds a way to entertain himself.

“Ashton, look.”

Ashton pauses in mid-waxing motion to glance over at him. When he sees Luke posing on his side, two pieces of wax pressed against his nipples and making a duckface, he giggles, totally amused by it.

“Stop messing around, you goof. We’re almost done here,” he says. He’s still smiling as he goes back to waxing his own board, and it makes Luke feel a little fuzzy inside.

He obediently returns to working on the task at hand for about two minutes before he stops again, and crawls on his knees to get closer to where Ashton is sitting.

“Hey, Ash?” Luke prods him in the side to get his full attention.

“Hm?”

“What do you say if, after this, we go and do something together? Anything. We could, like, go to that area where you said all the really big turtles were. That’d be cool. Or… we could just go to lunch, and maybe a hike afterwards? Hell, I’d even be up for visiting the arcade again, if you want to.”

Ashton hums in thought, chewing on his bottom lip as he considers the many suggestions.

“Arcade, huh?” he laughs a little. “Is Calum hoping to challenge me again? I’ll kick his ass once and for all!”

Luke snorts at the comment and shakes his head. “Actually, I was… sort of hoping that it could just be the two of us, whatever we decide on doing.”

Suddenly, it’s eerily silent as he waits for an answer. And, it’s obviously no big deal, but he pretends that it doesn’t hurt a little when Ashton looks away from him and resumes waxing.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it. There’s actually a thing that needs taking care of, but I’ve been putting it off recently, so.”

“Oh,” Luke murmurs, almost sadly. “Well… I guess there’s always tomorrow—”

“Luke,” Ashton interrupts, cutting him off completely. “Hand me the other waxes, if you’ve finished using them.”

Luke does as he’s asked without any hesitation, but he never gets to finish what he was trying to say because afterwards, Ashton announces that they’re through with everything for now. What’s even more confusing is that, before they part, Ashton lets him know that their guitar lesson for that evening is still on. So, despite being rejected, Luke wasn’t really rejected, after all?

Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense.

 _Ashton_ doesn’t make sense. 

*** 

“I’m bored.”

Luke dramatically flops down onto the couch and folds himself up into a little ball. That was one of the greater abilities of his body: he was tall and lanky and his legs stretched for miles, but he had the flexibility to curl up into a shrimp whenever he wanted to. People used to tell him that it was weird and made him look childish, but Luke likes doing it anyway. It’s comfortable and has become sort of a habit, when he isn’t stretching his longs limbs out and taking up all of the space. People disliked when he did that, too.

“ _Booored_ ,” he moans again.

“You’re bored. I get it,” Michael says from the seat next to him. He makes a _tsk_ sound when his character dies in the game that he’s playing, then glares at Luke as if he’d caused it. “Luke, we’re in a beach house, surrounded by the ocean. There’s a town with all sorts of shops and restaurants and fun shit to do literally minutes from where you’re sitting. You can go kayaking and surfing and snorkeling, even biking and hiking and long walks on the beach. If you’re bored, it’s either because you’re not trying or you’re _making_ yourself bored.”

“Pfft. You listed all of those outdoor activities as if you’ve done them, yet you’re sitting here playing video games on your laptop. Truly amazing.”

“I never said I was bored, though.” Michael sticks out his tongue, smirking when Luke flips him off in retaliation. “Whatever happened to Ashton? He’s usually keeping you busy—in more ways than one, I presume.”

Luke wishes that that was the case, but obviously it isn’t. “He’s busy doing whatever it is that attractive, curly-headed lifeguards do, so now I won’t see him again until this evening and I’m _bored_.”

“Aw, poor Luke,” Michael teases. “That means that now you’re forced to hang out with Cal and I again! How terrible that must be for you.”

Obviously, his friend is only kidding as per usual, but Luke still feels a little bad. He hadn’t meant to imply that he liked spending time with Ashton more than he did with his two best friends, but if that’s what it sounded like, then he really doesn’t want it to.

“…That’s not what I meant,” he starts, uncurling from his balled up position and snuggling into his friend’s side. Michael doesn’t protest, so that’s a good sign. “Don’t be like that, Mikey.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “I know you didn’t, it was just a joke.”

Luke burrows into him further, a sad pout on his face that he knows is hard to resist. Michael knows it, too, so he tries really hard not to look down at the boy nuzzling against his shoulder. Really hard.

He fails, of course.

“Stop making that face, jeez!” he laughs, giving in. “I know what you meant, and who am I to cockblock you from finally getting some? Hang out with Ashton all you want, just don’t piss him off—giant squid attacks and whatnot.”

Luke wants to laugh at the mention of his friend’s crazy theory again, but he can’t help frowning at a particular mention in that statement.

“I don’t think Ashton likes me. At least, not in that way,” Luke mutters.

“And what makes you think that?”

There were a lot of reasons, to be honest, though they were not easily put into words. Luke thought that he was being fairly obvious with his intentions and how he feels, and he _knows_ that Ashton was receiving these signals and understood them. Ashton isn’t naïve or clueless, he’s pretty damn smart, whether he believes it himself or not, so of course he has to know. Otherwise, why would he flirt back?

But, on the other hand, why did he continue to flirt back if he didn’t like Luke, either?

“I don’t know… sometimes it feels like he does, and other times it’s as if he sees this whole thing as one big joke and I’m the one that’s taking it too far. I don’t get it.” Luke slumps farther into the sofa cushions with a defeated sigh. If he thought that girls were confusing before, then that’s only because he had no idea how confusing boys—aside from his two best friends—could be.

Or, maybe neither of the genders are confusing, Luke just sucks at understanding other human beings as well as their complex, diverse feelings and behaviors. Yeah, that’s probably it.

Michael’s humming, which can only mean that he’s about to say something rather unhelpful. “Why don’t you just try being completely straightforward? Situations can’t be misread if you’re straightforward about them.”

Bingo. Luke had guessed correctly. Totally unhelpful, that was.

“And what exactly _is_ straightforward?” he questions with a wary glare.

“Like… ‘Hey, Ashton! You’re hot, I’m okay-looking, so how about we fondle each other inappropriately.’ It’ll work, trust me.”

Because the situation calls for it, Luke absolutely facepalms. “Why do I even _try_ to listen to you…”

There’s the rapid sound of a pair of feet scurrying across the wood floor, and then Calum appears from around the corner in a flash, abruptly stopping before he hits the little coffee table in the middle of the room. Aside from the detail that he was mostly naked, save for his boxers—a rather normal state of his, mind you—there were also bits of tape sticking to his skin and parts of his face. With his disheveled hair added to the mix, he looks as if he’s either been busy wrestling or having sex with a bunch of office supplies. Maybe a bit of both.

“Actually, I think Mikey might be right, for once. Just be blunt about it,” he says plainly, apparently not even aware of his own state of appearance.

Luke frowns. “How do you even know what we’re talking about?”

“And why do you look like you’ve been attacked by a bunch of kids during arts and crafts time?” Michael adds with a laugh.

“Well, for one, you guys talk pretty loudly, but that’s nothing new. Two, I’m wrapping presents! It’s not as easy as it looks, so don’t judge me.”

From the way that Luke and Michael merely stare at him, clearly befuddled like a couple of simpletons that can’t grasp a single concept, Calum realizes that they have no idea what he means and it’s almost sad, really. He exhales a long sigh, but is patient when he elaborates.

“You know, Christmas gifts? For Christmas? That holiday commonly represented by a big old dude and his little slaves? I’m wrapping the presents I bought today for my parents and sister.”

It takes a few seconds for them to digest just what that means, and it’s plain to see when they finally _do_ comprehend because there’s a synchronized string of obscenities that flows from their lips. Most of them come from Michael, but still.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he swears for the third time, “is it seriously almost Christmas? Shouldn’t it be, like, the third of December?”

Calum snorts, and he sounds smug when he says, “Yeah, and a few weeks ago it was. Come on, guys, how could you forget about _Christmas_? Maybe I should’ve expected this from Michael—”

“Hey!”

“—but you, too, Luke? I’m very disappointed in you,” he finishes in a fatherly tone.

But, _shit._

Luke really _does_ feel bad about forgetting, and he doesn’t even care that the issue they’d been discussing before Calum came into the room has pretty much been forgotten about now. Seriously—how did he not notice that, since this day is December 22 nd, it obviously means that Christmas is three days away? He knows basic mathematics and how to read a fucking calendar, so this realization should have come a lot sooner. He’s the one that’s usually the most organized and has his shit together, much more often than his friends did. So, this was a bit of a slap to the face.

Although, it’s no one’s fault but his own, so obviously he’s slapping himself in the face. Did he forget because he was having too much fun? Had this vacation trapped him into some sort of metaphoric bubble of obliviousness, making him forget the outside world? Maybe it’s because the only thing he’s focused on in the past few days is trying to kiss Ashton and simultaneously wondering why Ashton won’t kiss him first.

Whatever was the reason, Luke now has to deal with the anxiety that comes with spending countless hours picking out Christmas gifts for relatives.

 _Yuck_.

“Calum! Do my shopping for me,” Michael demands. He doesn’t seem to be as worried as Luke is about this whole situation, since he’s already gone back to his video game.

“What? No! Do your own damn Christmas shopping, there are plenty of places to choose from. I, on the other hand, need to get back to figuring out how the hell wrapping works…”

With that, Calum picks a piece of tape from his forehead and retreats into the next room over.

“Fine! I don’t need you!” Michael shouts at Calum’s retreating back. He sniffs dramatically as if he was deeply wounded by this, and turns to Luke. “I guess I’ll settle for you, then. Go shopping with me.”

“Actually… I still plan to see Ashton this evening, so,” Luke guiltily admits, as he stands from the couch. “Maybe tomorrow? I promise I’ll set aside lots of time.”

Michael groans in annoyance. “Tomorrow’s the last day, genius! There’s no ‘maybe’ about it. But, fine. I see how my friends abandon me in my time of need.”

“Come on, you don’t have to be so dramatic.”

“No, no—it’s fine, really. I totally get that your schedule must be _hectic_ , what with you being Prime Minister and all.”

Luke sighs and decides that he really isn’t up for dealing with all the sass, at the moment. His mind is being swarmed with even more worries now, such as the fact that Christmas is in a few days but he hasn’t bought anything yet, and they’re going to be spending the holiday back at home. The last point is an obvious one, because _of course_ they’re going to spend Christmas with their families. They’d planned to do so even before going on this vacation—a fact that also means he would be away from Ashton for nearly three days, though…

No.

No, no, _no_.

Luke shoves that thought to one of the darker corners of his mind, refusing to acknowledge its existence as well as how he feels about it.

Why was being away from Ashton on his list of worries? It shouldn’t have been there at all. Because, you know, there’s nothing wrong with not being able to see the guy for a short couple of days. Luke is certainly _not_ clingy. And, it’s not like Ashton is his _boyfriend_ or anything—he most likely doesn’t even want to kiss Luke, for god’s sake. His lack of action proves that much.

Besides, there are more important things to worry about, such as the reality that the week after Christmas not only means the end of the year, but also the end of the first month they had been living in Byron Bay—and holy shit has time flown by faster than it should have.

The three of them have resided in the beach house for three weeks now. Only a few more weeks remain until it’s ‘goodbye beach days’ and ‘hello university life’—the thought nearly makes Luke sick with apprehension. Everything is happening far too quickly and he doesn’t like it.

Not a single bit.

What he does to cleanse himself of the unwanted feeling is take a long, warm shower. The pressure of the tepid water hitting his bare skin feels absolutely amazing, and he notices for the first time that his skin is sun-kissed. Not quite tan, but not nearly as pale as it had been when they’d started this vacation, that much was for sure. The credit obviously goes to all of the days he’d spent in the sun during these past three weeks, and not just for the surfing lessons, but due to hanging out with Ashton in general.

Ashton is a really active type of person—well, of course he has to be, since he’s a lifeguard and all; but, even when the four of them are simply chilling in the beach house, Ashton is always the first to suggest some sort of outdoor activity to immerse themselves in. He’s so enthusiastic that, sometimes, he’ll even manage to convince Michael to join in with them.

Anyway, Luke’s newly formed sun-kissed skin is still a few shades lighter than Ashton’s golden tan, which is fine because Luke doesn’t think he’d be able to pull off such a thing. On Ashton, though… well, Ashton is always undeniably stunning. In another universe, Luke would probably be ridiculously jealous of his tan skin, curly hair, muscular body, and those large expressive eyes.

But, all he really wants to do is explore those features in every possible way that he can. Luke yearns to touch and feel and taste and just _hold_ Ashton with such eagerness, he’s not even sure that he’s ever felt before.

Probably not even with his first and only girlfriend. They’d kissed and cuddled and felt each other up a little, but it was done out of curiosity and a sense of what they figured couples were supposed to do. With Ashton, however, it’s this constant driving force that leaves him exhausted and sexually frustrated at the end of every day.

Ashton is just… so… _hnnng_ —

Fuck.

These thoughts are going in the wrong direction, way too soon. Luke can’t even pretend that he isn’t getting hard already, wholly from the sheer evaluation of just how much he really fucking _wants_ Ashton.

But, he’s not going to jerk off while thinking about the guy when they were supposed to meet in about an hour, because that’d be too awkward for him. Plus, Luke isn’t good with guilt. Never has been, probably never will be.

So, yeah. These thoughts? Not good. Go away, sexy thoughts pertaining to Ashton Irwin!

Luke manages to successfully complete his shower without giving in to any temptations, which is rather new, so it’s an accomplishment of sorts. It’s perfect timing, too, because by the time he’s finished getting dressed and messing with his hair, Ashton sends him a text.

(6:45 PM) Hey :) Sorry about the wait, I’m totally ready to strum some chords now

Before Luke replies, he gets an _idea_. Whether it’s a good one or not, it probably couldn’t hurt to try.

(6:47 PM) _Alright :-) do you think we can practice at your place? That way we’re not interrupted by two annoying squirrels lol_

It’s a legitimate reason, of course. Often times they were only able to practice in peace for about twenty minutes, before Michael and/or Calum showed up in the room and proved to be a distraction. No more than ten minutes later, Luke and Ashton would have completely forgotten about the guitars, instead immersing themselves in some game or other activity with the other two boys. It continues to happen again and again, so that’s why it’s probably a better idea to just practice at Ashton’s place where there weren’t any distractions at all.

Also, Luke has never been to Ashton’s house before. He doesn’t even have a single clue where the guy lives. So, that was his other reason for requesting such a thing.

It definitely _isn’t_ because he wants to spend as much alone time with Ashton as he possibly can, before their inevitable return to Sydney for a few days. Nope.

Ashton doesn’t reply until many minutes later.

(6:59 PM) I guess so. Meet me at the arcade and I’ll walk you the rest of the way

It sounds promising and Luke obviously knows where the arcade is, so he’s out of the door in less than five minutes, guitar on his back and a smile on his face.

***

They meet up as planned. Ashton must not have lived too far from the arcade, because he’s already there when Luke arrives, despite the quick pace he’d been walking. They stroll along the darkening streets of the town, silent save for the music and various other sounds coming from nearby restaurants and bars. They themselves are rather quiet, too. Luke assumes that Ashton’s hush attitude is likely due to him being tired. But, at least he still smiles at Luke and laughs when something silly is being said.

As predicted, Ashton’s place of residence is only a few blocks from the arcade and center of town, in a small apartment complex surrounded by a whole lot of trees. They appear to be really decent apartments, though obviously not as luxurious as some of the fancy inns and hotels that decorate the entirety of Byron Bay; but, it’s a totally normal area where a normal person would live their everyday life, instead of just vacationing.

Ashton lives on the second floor—there are three in total—so they climb a short flight of stairs until they’re standing before the front door to his apartment. 

Maybe, just maybe, Luke senses there’s a bit of hesitation when Ashton puts the key into the lock and freezes up for a split second. He recovers quickly enough, and wears an almost bashful grin as he opens the door for Luke to step inside first.

“So, welcome to my crib, I guess?” Ashton says, once he’s turned on the lights.

The short hallway that follows the entrance leads into a nice-sized conjoined living/dining room. Closest to Luke is the back of a sofa that faces a television, a tiny glass coffee table in between them. On the opposite side of the room is a dining table with four wooden chairs situated around it, as well as an opening next to it that he assumes leads into the kitchen. All of the furniture looks clean—almost spotless, aside from a few magazines—and not at all shabby.

Only a few decorations could be seen around the room, such as the framed print of Jimi Hendrix on one of the walls. Other than that, the beige walls are bare. Ashton seems like the type of person to stick up countless band posters in his room, not worrying too much about what the rest of the place looked like; so, that’s probably where most of the décor resides.

Luke isn’t going to flat out ask to see his bedroom, though. That would be weird.

“It looks nice in here, I like it,” he comments at last, once he realizes that Ashton is actually waiting for him to say something about the place.

Ashton replies with a chuckle, “It’s boring. But, it does well at providing shelter.”

Before Luke can think of what to say to that, he’s suddenly captivated by a certain detail in the room that should’ve stuck out the moment he’d walked in. Sitting in one of the corners of the room is a drum kit, _Ashton’s_ drum kit—the one that he’s heard about quite a few times and really  wants to hear their rhythmic beating. They were beautiful drums, too, decorated with a pretty purple and yellow pattern. Luke feels like he’s standing in the presence of a celebrity.

He’s already striding toward the instrument as he speaks. “Wow, so you really _are_ a drummer.”

“Ouch, Luke. Are you trying to say that you thought I was lying?”

“No, no! It’s just,” Luke pauses, fingers hovering above one of the cymbals because he doesn’t want to be rude by touching without permission, “you’re just so good at _everything_. Surfing, swimming, guitar, drums… will you play them for me? I wanna hear you drum.”

A tinge of pink emerges on Ashton’s cheeks from the compliment, noticeable only once he’s joined Luke by his side. In the close proximity of the space that they’re standing in, he smells like coconut and something else that’s sweet and edible. Honey, perhaps? Who knows. Luke could’ve just imagined the aroma entirely, because of his own apparent thirst for the dude.

“I only play them at certain times of the day,” Ashton explains with a grin. “Mrs. Neilson brings me goodies more often when I don’t wake her up in the middle of the night because of my loud drumming.”

Ah. That must be the elderly woman he had spoken of once, who lives in the apartment next door. It was never kind to wake old people up with loud noises when they were sleeping, they might have a heart attack or something. So, Luke understands.

“I’ll play for you next time, though.”

“Promise?”

Ashton nods.

“Pinky promise?” Luke prods, lifting up a hand and holding out his pinky finger.

“Seriously, Luke?”

When Luke sticks out his bottom lip in a pout, Ashton laughs and gives in, their pinkies linking together in a solemn oath.

“Alright, I promise.”

Somehow, their fingers remain hooked to each other even after their arms have dropped back down to their sides. There’s a subtle pause where Luke’s heart skips a beat and neither of them move, they’re just sort of… _there_ , stuck in a timeless bubble. His skin is tingling and he doesn’t know why these moments keep happening, why they have to occur so often and why they always take his breath away, making him feel as if he’s lost control over his own body. Why does this boy that he’s known for three weeks make him feel like he’s on a rollercoaster of mysterious feelings?

His questions remain unanswered and he doesn’t have time to ponder them himself, because Ashton unlinks their fingers and takes a step back.

Luke feels a cold sensation travel up his spine.

“I’ll, um—I’ll be back in a sec, need to get my guitar… you can wait for me on the sofa.”

Ashton retreats toward the closed bedroom door before Luke has a chance to say anything; which is fine, because he doesn’t think he has the ability to form words in any human language, at the moment. So, he pulls his own guitar from his back and obediently takes a seat on the sofa, still a little dazed.

When Ashton eventually returns with his instrument, he sits next to Luke on the sofa and announces that he’s ready to jam. To any other person, there wouldn’t be anything unusual about the amount of space left between them—but, obviously, Luke isn’t a random person and he knows that Ashton is purposely trying not to sit too close to him. Usually, there wouldn’t be any space left at all between their bodies when they sat together. Even while holding guitars, they normally would’ve found some way to make it work. This sudden change in personal space sucks, but Luke deals with it because he has to.

Their lesson goes the same way that it always does: they take turns playing different tunes to one another, trying to make each other guess the song just from hearing the first few chords of it. Once in a while, Ashton asks him a question about the guitar and Luke gets to show off his musical knowledge, but mostly they just play.

It’s simple, easy, and the only distraction that Luke finds is the way that Ashton’s fingers look while playing the instrument. He’s more or less gotten used to it from their previous lessons, but it’s always hypnotizing no matter how many times he watches them.

As a matter of fact, Luke doesn’t notice how much time has passed until he yawns for the fourth time in a row.

“Tired already?” Ashton asks, teasing him with a gentle nudge.

Luke smirks. “You’re the one who forces me to wake up at shitty hours in the morning.”

“Hey now, if we didn’t have surfing lessons in the time frame before I’m on duty, they’d be limited to twice a week!”

“I know, I know.”

Ashton smiles, warm and fluffy-like, then sets his guitar down onto the glass table in front of them. He brings his legs up onto the cushions and crosses them beneath himself to get more comfortable, and Luke’s attention is brought to the fact that somehow they’re sitting a bit closer to each other than when they started. It’s weird because he _knows_ that he hasn’t moved at all—but maybe they’re like magnets. It can’t be helped.

“I guess I’ll let you get some proper rest, then?” Ashton proposes.

It’s basically a way of saying goodnight. Aka, Luke should leave soon and go to bed and wake up on the morning of their last day there until after Christmas. And, tomorrow he would need to spend the majority of the day shopping for gifts and wrapping them and getting ready for the long trip back home. Therefore, he wouldn’t see much of Ashton even before they would leave.

And…

Luke really doesn’t want to go. Not yet.

“I want to play one more song,” he blurts out.

Ashton shifts a bit more so that they’re facing each other, and nods. “Sure, go ahead.”

There’s a brief moment when Luke suddenly feels a rush of _nervousness_. It’s ridiculous, he hasn’t felt bashful when singing in front of Ashton before now—now that he has Ashton’s undivided attention, they aren’t playing a game, and this isn’t a guitar lesson. No, this time, Luke feels that he is singing _to_ Ashton and this song is _for_ him.

He clears his throat and begins by strumming the first few chords.

> _“[Settle down with me,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8gVmDAhLyg)_   
>  _Cover me up,_   
>  _Cuddle me in._
> 
> _Lie down with me, yeah,  
>  And hold me in your arms.”_

Luke takes a moment to glance up, fingers still gliding gracefully along the guitar strings, and finds Ashton gazing at him with widened eyes. He appears to be in awe, probably from recognizing the song; at least, Luke assumes that that is the reason.

> _“And your heart’s against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck,  
>  I’m falling for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet,  
>  And with a feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now.”_

The last thing he expects is when Ashton joins in and they’re singing the chorus in harmony.

> _“Kiss me like you wanna be loved,_   
>  _You wanna be loved,_   
>  _You wanna be loved._
> 
> _This feels like falling in love,  
>  Falling in love,  
>  Falling in love.”_

Now Luke is the one in awe, his voice nearly wavering from the bolt of electricity that seems to shoot through his body as he listens to Ashton. He has never heard Ashton sing before this moment. Sure, Ashton often joked around and sang in really weird, deep voices just to be funny. But, this is… this is the _real_ singing voice of Ashton Irwin. It’s real and angelic and, god, he’s so fucking amazing—why does he have to be like this?

Luke _really_ fucking doesn’t want to go home yet.

He purposely lowers the volume of his own singing just to be able to hear Ashton’s voice even more, when the song comes to an elegant end.

> _“…Yeah I’ve been feeling everything_   
>  _From hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth,_   
>  _I guess that’s how I know you._
> 
> _So I hold you close to help you give it up._
> 
> _Kiss me like you wanna be loved,_   
>  _You wanna be loved,_   
>  _You wanna be loved._
> 
> _This feels like falling in love,  
>  Falling in love,  
>  Falling in love…”_

When it’s over, everything seems to still, frozen in place. The last note to leave Ashton’s lips echoes throughout the room—or maybe it just echoes within Luke’s body. Because, that’s what it definitely feels like. All at once, he no longer feels tired at all, their synchronized singing having ignited some sort of undying force deep inside of him. That’s a little dramatic, but Luke honestly feels as if he could stay awake forever, singing more songs like that with Ashton until neither of them had vocal chords that worked anymore.

And, yes, Luke is well-aware that he’s blatantly _staring_ at Ashton now and he probably looks stupid doing so, but he doesn’t care.

“Your singing is... fuck, so great—that was _amazing_ , Ashton. Really amazing.” Luke is also aware of how nonsensical he sounds, but once again, he doesn’t care. “You have such a gorgeous voice.”

Ashton doesn’t look at him, only keeps his eyes down, adamant on fiddling with the rips in his jeans. When he speaks, it’s with a humorless laugh and a sense of inferiority.

“Glad someone doesn’t think I sound like a tractor,” he huffs; and, maybe Ashton thinks he’s convincing when he makes it sound like a joke, but Luke sees right through him. “Thanks, but I think I’ll just stick to drumming.”

Luke is shaking his head in disagreement before Ashton even finishes that sentence. “How can you even say that? You’re so fucking talented, Ash. I don’t know how you sound in your ears, but in mine, you’re absolutely breathtaking.”

Because Ashton still hasn’t looked at him yet, Luke forces him to by reaching out and using a finger to gently raise his chin until their gazes meet. Although Ashton looks startled by the sudden physical contact, he doesn’t make an attempt to slap Luke’s hand away.

“I’m serious.” With a playful smirk, Luke then goes on to say, “I bet you and I would make a great duo—and maybe if they begged, we could let Mikey and Cal join us. Form a band, get famous, travel the globe. Wouldn’t that be sick?”

This time when Ashton laughs, it’s genuine.

“And what would we call this band, hm? The Four Kangaroos?” he asks, grinning.

“We can call it whatever you’d like.”

“Ashton and the Babes.”

Luke laughs at the crazy suggestion. “Except that, that’s a horrible name!”

Ashton goes on, merciless in his ability to make Luke laugh until he sheds tears. “Ashton and the Boobs?”

How the hell is this guy actually twenty-one years old?

Luke rejects all of the silly names that Ashton tosses at him, and… and they’re sitting so close to each other, now—Ashton is practically in his lap, while Luke’s guitar is propped up against the side of the sofa so that it no longer separates them. Everything is funny and lighthearted and _so_ _warm_ , Luke forgets all about returning to the beach house and tomorrow’s shopping and going home and everything in between. Such a thing often happens whenever he’s with Ashton.

Speaking of which, the more Luke got to know him, the more Ashton became far too difficult to describe. He’s just so chirpy, always shining brighter than the sun. Most of the time, he appears to be one of the most confident little shits that anyone could ever meet, evident by how he doesn’t give a fuck what people think and does his own thing. But, there are also times when he would be way too hard on himself, like he had a few minutes ago, and put himself down repeatedly. Luke doesn’t like those times, and they make him want to cover Ashton in kisses until he believes that he’s as great as he actually is.

Yeah, scratch that. Luke wants to cover Ashton in kisses no matter what mood he’s in.

And, maybe he will finally be able to. They’re still so close, nothing will interrupt them this time, and Ashton never takes his eyes off Luke—because, fuck, he wants this too. He just _has_ to. The amount of times that Ashton has licked his lips in the past minute while staring at Luke’s is borderline absurd.

Basically, their mouths need to come together, right this instance. It’s a crime that they haven’t done so sooner.

Luke takes the initiative and slowly leans closer. Because he’s just a little shorter, Ashton sort of inclines his neck once he sees what Luke is trying to do, so that they can meet in the middle.

Is this actually going to happen? Luke feels a puff of warm breath against his slickened lips, takes in the sweet scent of honey and coconuts once more and he thinks, yeah, this is really happening. He’s going to kiss Ashton. His eyes are closed and his mind is filled with anxious thoughts of what those pink lips will taste like—that is, until the warmth is suddenly gone and the air before him is cold; Luke can’t smell the honey and coconuts anymore.

Ashton had dropped his head before they’d gotten any closer. One of his hands fists into his curls, tugging in frustration while Luke sits completely still, silent and beyond the point of being confused.

“Fuck, I… I’m so sorry,” Ashton curses; he glances up at Luke once, twice, before staring back down at his own lap in shame.

“…It’s okay,” Luke mutters. Except, it’s not okay. _He’s_ not okay. His chest is a mess of frustration, confusion, unanswered questions, and sadness because he _just doesn’t_ _get it_.

It had happened again, and this time the ache hurts ten times worse than it had before, when they’d been dancing at the nightclub. Luke had let himself believe that Ashton actually wanted to kiss him and was going to, once and for all—god, why did he have to be so naïve? Why did Ashton keep fucking him around like this and why did Luke let him? In truth, he isn’t even that angry, just hurt and so goddamn confused.

“How come you don’t hate me?”

Luke blinks, abruptly interrupted from his own miserable thoughts and wondering if he’d heard correctly.

“What? Why would I ever hate you...?”

Ashton lets out a deep sigh, starting over. “Okay, maybe _hate_ is a tad bit too strong of a word, but surely you have to be tired of me by now. I wouldn’t blame you if you were.”

Luke opens his mouth to speak, but once he sees that Ashton has more to say, he closes it again.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like this… _thing_ between us. It’s fun and carefree, and I think you’re really cute. But, I also know that you want _more_ and I basically feel like a giant dick who’s leading you on…”

So far, Luke doesn’t particularly like the direction that this conversation is heading in. He doesn’t like it at all, but he feels that it’s something inevitable that has to be discussed. Despite knowing that, he still has no idea what to say.

“I-I don’t understand…”

Ashton is blunt with his response.

“Luke. Do you want to fuck me?” he asks, plain and simple as if he were instead asking if Luke wanted the last cookie or something.

And just how the hell was Luke expected to react to that question? Because, okay, so maybe he would definitely jump at the chance to explore Ashton’s body and discover how it felt against and on top and underneath his own—but sex things usually only happened after a _kiss_ , which is something that they can’t seem to do, for some reason. Also, the question was way too straightforward for Luke and no one’s ever said anything like that to him before, so he’s flustered and fails to respond before Ashton is talking again.

“Because, you know, it’s okay if you want to. I mean, I’m not opposed to hooking up with people, trust me, I’ve had my fair share of that. It’s just…” There’s a short pause as Ashton gathers his thoughts, forming them into words. “I don’t know—wouldn’t you rather try hooking up with someone your own age?”

Oh.

_That again._

Luke doesn’t like whenever Ashton brings up their subtle age difference. Over the past three weeks, there had been a few times when Ashton would speak to him as if he were a child who just didn’t understand things in the ‘real world’ yet, and he’d referred to Luke as _kid_ once or twice, which Luke dislikes even more. Yes, he’s eighteen and even though the law states that he’s an adult, obviously no actual adult would trust him with certain responsibilities. But, he also isn’t a goddamn toddler that needs Ashton making decisions for him, telling him what he should or should not want.

“Ashton, you’re twenty-one, not fucking fifty. I know I’m immature but I’m not some twelve-year-old kid, either.”

“Luke…”

“And,” Luke continues, all of his frustrations abruptly coming out at once, “I know that I’m _me_ and you’re _you_ and—fuck, you’re way out of my league—but, if you really don’t like me that way, then maybe you should just say it? I’ll understand. I don’t want to keep assuming things and making you uncomfortable…”

There. He’d been as comprehensible as he could manage in saying all of that. Explicit rejection was easier than whatever had been going on between them for the past couple of weeks, where Luke had gone back and forth thinking that Ashton liked him and then wondering if he even liked him at all. Now he begins to wonder if maybe Ashton is just using his age as an excuse, so that he won’t have to come right out and say ‘hey, you’re nice and all but I really don’t want to touch you!’ Luke doesn’t want to think that way, but he can’t help it by now.

“Luke, listen—I do like you, honestly. I like you a lot,” Ashton quickly explains. His hand twitches and he looks like he wants to touch Luke, but isn’t sure if he should, so he doesn’t. “And, don’t say that as if being yourself is a bad thing; you’re a sweet boy and it’s a privilege for me to hang out with you. Also, there’s no such thing as ‘leagues’ when it comes to liking people. We’re all just… people.”

Luke does listen, and he tries to take in what’s being told to him but he still doesn’t really get it. He has a headache and his chest continues to hurt, he doesn’t know why he feels this way when his feelings for Ashton weren’t even supposed to be like a _real_ crush. At least, that’s what he’d told himself, but of course it didn’t work out that way.

“Why does my age bother you so much?” Luke asks, after the awkward pause.

If Ashton hadn’t looked uncomfortable before, he definitely does now.

“It’s…” he starts, and immediately stops.

Although Luke really wants to know, he tells himself that it’s not worth making Ashton feel even more uncomfortable around him, so he shakes his head.

“Sorry. You don’t have to say—”

“Actually, I think I at least owe you an explanation,” Ashton says, though he still has this painful expression on his face as if this subject is something he really doesn’t want to talk about. “I just… know that you’ll think differently of me, afterwards.”

The sad thing about it was that he’d uttered the latter statement as fact. As if, there was no doubt in his mind that Luke wouldn’t see him in the same way or even like him anymore, if he knew. So, Ashton is inwardly forcing himself to accept that.

“I promise I won’t,” Luke declares, and he hopes that the other believes him.

At first it doesn’t look as if Ashton will go through with the explanation after all, but then he starts with an exasperated sigh.

“When I was seventeen, there was someone that I really liked. He was… let’s just say that he was _older_. Anyway, we fooled around for about a year or so, and…” Ashton pauses, a breathless chuckle escaping his lips. It sounds dejected. “and, I thought I was in love with him… eventually, my mum found out about us and, well, everything went to shit really fucking fast after that.

“She thought that he had taken advantage of me and—and there was all this drama with the school district and laws regarding age of consent and it was just a horrible time for me… and, wanna know the best part? _He_ basically said that I was a liar and that I meant nothing to him. He also claimed that I was going through some sort of ‘sexuality crisis’ and probably tried fucking some of the other boys on the team because I was confused and _scared_. What a load of shit! I-I hadn’t wanted to cause so much trouble, but for him to betray me and say all of that…

“Long story short, there wasn’t nearly enough evidence to prove anything. They believed him, he kept his job, and I moved schools to finish up the last couple of months and graduate. Ever since then, I’ve felt… weird, about having sexual relations with people who aren’t the same age as me or, at most, just a year’s difference.”

For the first time since the moment he’d began, Ashton looks up, hazel eyes locking with Luke’s baby blue ones—they’re full of pain and guilt and something else that feels too personal, but Luke can’t look away.

“Especially if they were younger. I’d always felt like I was taking advantage of them, in some way or another… I’d never want to do that to anyone.”

It feels as if so much time had passed while Luke sat there in silence, diligently listening to Ashton’s story and the reason that he was so iffy about the age difference between them. And Luke honestly doesn’t know what to think or say, his mind still trying to process all of it.

What he does understand is that, basically, when Ashton was in high school he’d had an affair with a teacher. Or, someone else that worked for the school? ‘Other boys on the team’—maybe it was a coach that he’d fallen in love with?

Luke suddenly remembers something that Ashton had only mentioned to him once and very briefly. It was something about how, before surfing had become his primary love, he’d wanted to become a professional swimmer and maybe compete in the Summer Olympics, one day. Luke had asked why he hadn’t continued training and gone for it, but Ashton had changed the subject so swiftly as if it made him physically ill to talk about.

It makes a little more sense now, and Luke is suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of sympathy that he feels for Ashton.

“I know! It’s a really stupid excuse,” Ashton suddenly blurts out. “It happened a long time ago so I should just get over it, right? I fucked up, big deal. There’s only a three-year difference between us and I shouldn’t feel this way, but…”

Luke fretfully licks his lips and tries to think of something to say, _anything_ to say. “Ashton, listen—not once have I ever felt that you were taking advantage of me. You’re not that kind of person at all.”

Ashton rapidly shakes his head, refusing to accept those words. “You don’t know…”

“I _do_ know. You’re a good person, Ash, and everything that happened back then… I know it must've been really shitty. But, it's not your fault. He shouldn’t have lied and betrayed you like that.”

“It’s okay, Luke, you don’t have to—”

“You really shouldn’t blame yourself…”

“ _Please stop_ ,” Ashton insists, and he uses a stern tone that Luke recognizes as a sign to definitely shut up, now.

The eerie silence that takes place afterwards is enough to make Luke choke to death. He really wishes that there was something he could say, something he could do that would make the empty expression on Ashton’s face go away, but he just doesn’t know _how_.

It’s frustrating as hell, he’s never been in this kind of position before and he feels helpless. What was the appropriate way to act, though? In the three weeks that he’s known Ashton, he has never seen _this_ side of him. It’s a little crazy, but Luke had begun to believe that Ashton was literally unable to get upset, past a certain degree. He could be irritated, frustrated, and a little impatient, but now he has basically closed himself off, in a way.

Ashton sits with his knees pulled to his chest, arms held tightly around them as if he were protecting himself from some invisible force. There’s still something defiant about his body language, though; he refuses to look at Luke but he isn’t hiding his face, either. It’s as if he knows that the thing he dreads most is finally catching up to him, but he’s going to fight until he can’t anymore.

When Luke couldn’t take the silence any longer, and he speaks without even knowing what he wants to say. “Ashton...?”

“It’s late,” Ashton announces all of a sudden. “Tomorrow’s a busy day, since it’s nearly Christmas, and all... I have to get up really early, so you should probably go.”

It hurts, being asked to leave when they haven’t actually settled anything between them. In fact, this whole thing really fucking sucks despite how great it seemed to be going when they were playing music together. Luke doesn’t complain, though—just nods and quietly stands from the sofa when Ashton does the same.

With his guitar in hand, he’s led to the front door, Ashton walking in front of him. While staring at his back, Luke can’t help but feel as if this changes everything and not for the better. He thinks that once he walks out of that door, things between them won’t ever be the same unless he says or does _something_ —but, what?

Luke suddenly panics, the rush of the cool night air hitting him in the face as the door is opened and he’s stepping out into the darkness. He’s frantically searching his mind for a solution and silently cursing to himself because _goddammit, why can’t he stop time_?

“Do you remember the way back? I can walk you to the main street, if you want,” Ashton offers in a benevolent tone; it replaces the cold one from a few moments ago that had Luke shivering involuntarily.

“It’s fine, I remember the way,” he murmurs before he catches himself.

“Okay.”

 _Fuck_. No, no, no, they can’t just part like this.

He _has to_ say something because this could be the last time that they speak before Luke leaves for the next few days. After that, who’s to say if Ashton actually wants to be around him anymore? For whatever reason, it seems like Ashton is under the impression that since Luke now knows they probably won’t sleep together, he no longer has any real reason to continue being around the guy. And that is absolutely _absurd._

So, Luke straightens up and reveals just what he has to say about that.

“Um, for the record? I don’t hang out with you because I want or expect to have sex with you, Ashton. I hang out with you because it’s really fucking fun, no matter what we do together.”

Those words seem to grab his attention, so Luke continues. “You’re nice and really cool and you’re always telling me random facts about sharks that I don’t need to know—but, I listen anyway because it’s really interesting. _You’re_ interesting.”

A small grin surfaces and Luke meets Ashton’s intense gaze. “I mean, yeah I like you and I think you’re really fucking hot, but… I also consider you a friend, first and foremost. To me, friends are more important than anything else.”

Those hazel eyes are wider than ever before, as they stare back at Luke. And, there’s something unusually beautiful about the way Ashton looks when he’s stunned and uncertain of what to say, displaying such raw emotions that feel so much more _real_ than when he’s pretending that nothing can break through his façade of everlasting composure. Just that look alone makes Luke feel as if everything might be alright, after all. Because, Ashton isn’t shutting him out anymore.

“I… um, thank you?” Ashton near-whispers, and then he’s rapidly shaking his head to knock himself out of the short-lived astonishment to quickly add, “I consider you a friend, too. A really great one.”

Luke thinks it’s enough for now. The relationship between them no longer feels like it’s sitting on the peak of a rocky cliff, ready to tip at any given moment if he says the wrong thing. But this, the shy smile that Ashton gives him and the fact that he isn’t avoiding eye contact anymore, this is enough.

“Goodnight, Ashton,” Luke says at last, and he may not want to go, but he doesn’t feel as if it’s something final.

With the little wave that he gets, he thinks that Ashton might feel the same. “Night, Luke.”

***

The 23rd of December is a day filled with a lot of things, actually. Ashton hadn’t been kidding when he’d said it would be a busy day: the town is much more crowded than usual, both locals and tourists roaming about to get to whatever they could before Christmas, since most shops will be closed during that day. There’s an influx in traffic, especially on the beach as the holiday crowd swarms into Byron for a good time.

Luke, Michael, and even Calum since he’d decided to join them after all, spend the majority of the day going from shop to shop, trying to find items that were worthy of being actual Christmas gifts instead of mere souvenirs from a cheap shop at the beach. That’s probably why it takes a hell of a long time; despite the crowdedness everywhere that they went, they were picky about what to buy because they were good boys that wanted to make their families happy.

Thus, after a hectic day of shopping and before they would have to endure the pains of wrapping the gifts (seriously, what teenage boy _willingly_ takes the time to learn how to wrap presents before they eventually become parents themselves?) they enjoy a relaxing dinner at a Thai restaurant just off the Main beach, mostly because it was one of the only places that they hadn’t eaten at, yet.

Luke is silent for the majority of their meal, content with listening to his friends bicker and steal each other’s food. He hadn’t done much talking throughout the entire day, actually, and they knew why so it wasn’t brought up again; and, he loves his friends for that. Luke especially loves that they had purposely acted silly the whole time, trying to distract him and make him laugh. So, although he isn’t actually _devastated_ or anything, he is grateful for their efforts.

When Luke had returned to the beach house the night before, of course his friends immediately assumed that he had hooked up with Ashton or made-out with him or _something_. But, Luke had simply denied those accusations and told them that such a thing wasn’t going to happen, because Ashton didn’t like him that way. And, it was okay because they could be normal friends, now. Well, in truth, Ashton actually claimed that he _did_ like Luke; but, certain things still weren’t going to take place between them due to complicated reasons. His friends didn’t need to know that bit, so Luke just told them the simple version.

Anyway, Luke doesn’t mind that they were taking special care not to step on his toes. He knows that it isn’t done out of pity, they were merely being good friends. Besides, thoughts of Ashton weren’t the only things that had him sulking the entire day. Luke had always felt a similar feeling throughout his life, during this time of the month.

There was the excitement for Christmas mixed with the anxiety over yet another year coming to an end. No one knows what to expect from the next year, or whether they would even live to see the end of it. Luke wonders if he will adjust to his university life as easily as he’d adjusted to living in the beach house—obviously it won’t be the same, what with school work and professors and peers that he _has_ to interact with whether he wants to or not; plus, it will last for years. Not two short months.

Also, the reason he’d gotten used to life so close to the shore was because of a certain guy with curly hair and the ability to twist Luke’s insides until there was hardly anything left.

Crushes were a deadly thing.

“Luke?”

Luke glances up from his mostly-empty plate when Calum says his name. He thinks maybe his friend had been trying to get his attention for a little while now, since there was a subtle frown on his face.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said, are you almost ready to go? It’s okay if you’re not, there’s no rush.”

“Oh.” Luke glances down at his plate again, and seeing that his friends are still staring at him, he picks up a piece of beef and eats it. He’s not all that hungry, but they know that he usually eats way more than what he’s consumed on his plate, so they’re probably worried. It’s kind of ridiculous, since nothing is wrong with him. He’s just… not in the mood right now.

“You guys can go without me,” he says, “I’m actually going down to the beach, after this.”

Both of his friends frown, and Michael asks, “What for? It’s already sunset, no point in going for a swim now.”

“No, that’s—I don’t plan on swimming, I want to… look for seashells, actually. I still haven’t found anything to give my mum for Christmas. So, I figured I would collect some shells and make her bracelet.”

“Dude, you do realize that there were a _ton_ of bracelets in the shops we went to, right?” Calum says, almost chastising him.

Luke only shrugs. “She likes it when I _make_ things, though. Plus, I don’t think any of those bracelets were good enough.”

“…You’re such a mama’s boy,” Michael sighs with a grin. “But, I guess we can help you with your treasure hunt, even though sand is really starting to annoy me.”

Luke laughs a little, because it was just like Michael to suggest spending their entire vacation on a beach, only to get annoyed by all of the sand and sunshine. But, even though he often teased Luke, he was willing to put up with a lot of things when his friend was feeling down. Still, Luke politely declines the offer.

“It’s okay, you guys don’t have to help. I, um, kind of want some time to myself? To think and stuff.”

It doesn’t really make sense and it’s clear to see that on his friends’ faces, but they eventually nod and stand up from their seats to leave him to his own devices.

“Alright, see you later, then?” Calum says.

“Yeah, I’ll just pay for this and head out.”

“Don’t worry about it, we already paid for everything.”

Luke knits his brows together, confused because he definitely doesn’t remember any waitress coming to the table and collecting the bill. But, then again, he hadn’t really been paying much attention to anything. Still, they were supposed to split these things!

“Seriously, guys, now you’re just babying me,” Luke pouts.

His complaint prompts Michael to reach across the small table and ruffle his hair before he can protest.

“Shut up, we’re just doing our job and taking care of our little brother.” They start to leave, then, and Michael yells over his shoulder, “Bye, Luke! Have fun playing in the sandbox.”

Doting on him one minute and annoying him the next. Yep, those were his friends.

So, Luke trudges down to the beach. Alone. The amount of people has dwindled down a bit, but there are still groups of them here and there so he makes sure not to get in their way. Once he manages to find a relatively empty area, he gets to work on sifting through the sand—both wet and dry—to find seashells and whatever else he thinks is pretty.

It proves to be rather relaxing. Instead of thinking about the things that have floated about in his mind all day, he basically ends up forgetting them in exchange for the nice things around him. The soft sand feels amazing beneath his feet, especially since it isn’t sizzling hot like it usually is in the middle of the day. Now, it’s simply warm and it feels so _good_ and Luke wonders why he keeps stressing himself out about things when he can just enjoy the sand like this, any time that he wants.

Luke is uncertain how long he’s been searching, but his attempts at collecting prove to be fruitless since he’s only managed to find two seashells, so far. Well, one seashell and something that _looks_ like a seashell but is probably just a rock—but who cares, it’s a really damn pretty rock, okay. Anyway, he’s more or less off in his own little world, not paying attention to anything other than the sand and how gorgeous the ocean looks at sunset. As a result, it startles him when the crunching of sand behind him is accompanied by a voice.

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

After spinning around and nearly falling on his ass, Luke is met with a breathtaking pair of irises that shine like gold in the light of the sunset. Hell, Ashton’s entire body glows in the beautiful orangey hue, the curls of his hair resembling a bright flame and Luke feels _hot_ , all of a sudden.

“Hi,” Ashton greets him again. His hands are clasped together in front of him and he’s fiddling with his fingers, an almost nervous action.

“Hey,” Luke responds successfully, but then he frowns and asks, “How did you know where I was…?”

“Calum told me,” Ashton answers plainly, but then he shakes his head and corrects himself. “Well, I _persuaded_ Calum into telling me, since it didn’t seem like he was eager to. He said something about you wanting to be alone… do you?”

Does he? Luke isn’t sure. He actually had been having a good time, being alone in the sand. If he wants, he could say yes and Ashton would leave. He wouldn’t have to acknowledge the slight awkwardness between them—because, yeah, they hadn’t parted on bad terms during the previous night, but things were still noticeably _off_. He should simply say that he wants more time to himself, and therefore Ashton should just go away.

Except, Luke doesn’t want that at all.

“No, not really.” Luke figures that that answer is true enough. He presses his bare toes deeper into the sand and wiggles them about, feeling a little awkward from the silence. Then, he says, “Oh, and don’t worry about Calum. He acts tough, but he’s sort of like… a puppy, really. He was just regarding my wishes.”

“Oh, I know that already,” Ashton says, laughing softly. “Your friends are quite loyal.”

 _They’re your friends, too_ —is what Luke almost says, but Ashton speaks up again, changing the subject.

“So, what’re you doing here, anyway?”

“Looking for seashells.” Luke glances down at the poor results in his palm. “ _Unsuccessfully_ looking for seashells. I’d hoped to make my mum a bracelet for Christmas, sort of like the ones you have on your wrists? Except, I can’t seem to find anything...”

Ashton briefly lifts his arms, taking a look at the many bracelets that decorate both of his wrists. He has so many of them, almost twice as many as Luke does, and some of his are purely of beautiful little seashells. And, since he wears them constantly, it makes him resemble some sort of island prince.

“You know,” Ashton starts, looking up, “I made all of these myself, actually. If you want, I could help you make one for your mum?”

It’s a kind offer from a friend, so Luke’s heart shouldn’t have reacted the way that it did, rapidly thumping against his ribcage. It makes him hesitant to accept because he has no idea how any of this will turn out—but, ultimately, he’s clueless about a lot of things, so is this really any different? He hasn’t spoken to Ashton all day, which pained him more than he cares to admit, but now he has the chance to. Yeah, the unrelenting yearning is obviously still there, but Luke wants this to work. He wants to have Ashton as a friend, if not anything else.

Plus, he still needs the help! So, he could do this ‘just friends’ thing—not that there was anything _just_ about it. Friends are amazing to have and shouldn’t be undermined. It just so happens that Ashton is a friend he desperately wants to kiss and cuddle and _touch_ in ways that didn’t typically occur between friends.

Yeah.

Eventually, Luke nods in acceptance and tries to convey his appreciation with a soft smile.

“Okay, so where do we start?”

Ashton’s bright smile reflects his delight at not having his helped refused. “Well, first off, this area is no good. People are constantly roaming this entire beach, collecting what they find, so the chances of finding enough seashells are scarce. I’ll take you somewhere more desolate.”

So, Luke follows Ashton in hopes of improving the results of his little treasure hunt. As what usually seemed to be the case, Ashton was right about searching in less-visited areas of the beach and soon enough, Luke already has a handful of gorgeous shells to use for the bracelet. He ends up laughing to himself about it, too, because it seems like Ashton is the one who _always_ has to save him from one dilemma or another. It’s as if the guy was some sort of walking good luck charm. Was it any wonder that Luke liked him so much?

They had collected enough shells and were on their way back to the beach house to assemble the bracelet. Luke kind of feels bad about being relieved that they aren’t going to Ashton’s place, but he’d rather be surrounded by his friends and not risk the inevitable return of last night’s awkwardness.

“Hey… Luke?” Ashton says, getting his attention.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry for freakin’ out, yesterday. You… probably didn’t need or want to know all of that crap, yet I dumped it on you anyway and I really shouldn’t have.”

Luke stops counting the shells in his palm, instead averting his gaze to Ashton, who is walking beside him. Ashton keeps his eyes straight, but he’s chewing on his bottom lip and making an effort to remain composed. Luke is suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to reach out and hold him, forcing him to make eye contact. But, of course he doesn’t actually do it.

“I don’t think you freaked out… and, I guess I’m glad that you told me? It couldn’t have been an easy thing to do, and… at least now I know that it’s not because you just plain don’t like me.”

Ashton shakes his head. “No, it’s not you. I’m just a bit of a fucked up person. But, I think most people are, in their own little way.”

Because he’s not sure what to say to that, Luke doesn’t say anything. Ashton doesn’t seem to mind, because he goes on anyway.

“I’m just really frustrated with myself, because from the moment that you told me your age, I… but, I figured that it was okay, we could just be surfing buddies. Except, I kept hitting on you and having too much fun with it—with _you_ ,because I just feel so _calm_ around you and I’m sorry that I’m such a dick and—”

“Ashton, wait,” Luke interrupts. He steps in front of Ashton to force him to stop walking, and unconsciously presses a hand to his chest when it doesn’t seem like he will. Luke quickly drops the hand after a second of delay, and they’re standing _so close_ but Ashton doesn’t appear bothered by it all.

“You don’t… have to explain, okay? I get it,” Luke says after a beat. He rubs the back of his neck with the same hand that was gently pressed to Ashton’s chest just a few seconds before. “Well, I _kind of_ get it. Anyway, it’s fine. We understand each other now, so we don’t have to keep talking about it… I just want things to be normal between us.”

Ashton tilts his head with a look of uncertainty, his brows knitting together as he asks, “Why are you so nice? I mean, don’t you sometimes worry that… people will take advantage of that niceness? Or, treat you badly because of it?”

Luke takes a short moment to think about the concerns, because he honestly doesn’t think he’s all that nice; at least, not any nicer than the average person is expected to be? It just seems normal to him. Of course he’s nice to Ashton because he really, _really_ likes Ashton and they’re friends now. But, mainly, he just very much wishes to stop talking about _that_ subject.

“I don’t know. People at school used to tease me a lot, but it wasn’t that bad… also, when I came back one year and everyone saw that I was over six feet, they left me alone.”

Ashton chuckles lightly, just as Luke hoped that he would.

“So… we’re good?” he asks, sounding hopeful.

Luke nods with a smile, and tugs him along the rest of the way to the beach house. “Yeah, we’re good.”

***

It’s Christmas Eve, the sun hasn’t even risen yet, and Luke is dead tired. Even though he feels like he might fall right where he’s standing, there’s a tingling nervousness that’s settled within the bottom of his empty tummy; Luke has an objective and he doesn’t know whether or not he’ll be able to go through with it.

The previous evening, he and Ashton had sat together in the living room of the beach house, assembling the bracelet that he planned to give Liz. It wasn’t _that_ hard to do, and it turned out to be quite fun, actually. Michael and Calum had teased them about their little arts and crafts session, but eventually sat down to watch him and Ashton at work, clearly intrigued despite their little jokes.

And, Luke had felt especially useful during this time. Ashton claimed that his large hands caused him to work at a slower pace, and since Luke’s fingers were more nimble, he was made to do most of the work while Ashton gave him instructions. He was proud when it turned out looking pretty nice, because he’d put a lot of effort into it and it was for his mother, after all.

Speaking of which, Luke is going to see his parents and other relatives later today. So, that was exciting. Before any of that can happen, however, they have to make the long trip back down to Sydney. That’s the reason they’d had to awaken so _horribly early_ if they expected to arrive before the day was over. It’s also part of the reason that Luke feels like death itself.

Luke shifts his weight from one leg to the other, and then again, and again until he’s sort of bouncing on the balls of his feet. He and Calum are standing in line at Starbucks, a mandatory task that Michael had given them after their light luggage had been loaded into the car—they were only going to be gone for two and a half days, plus the majority of their things had been left in Sydney, anyway—but, coffee is essential to all of their survival. Literally. How were they supposed to get home in one piece if their driver fell asleep on the road?

So, after their little coffee run, they will depart from Byron Bay half an hour later. In fact, they probably only have twenty or so minutes before they should hit the road. And, twenty minutes isn’t enough time for Luke to complete his objective—unless, like, he starts running right this second.

“If you have to use the toilet, then go,” Calum says, when he’s fed up with Luke’s subtle bouncing. He isn’t as irritable as Michael had been that morning and he doesn’t appear as dead tired as Luke, but he’s still a little cranky. “I doubt we’ll stop any time soon, once we’re on the road.”

“Thanks for the concern, but I’m fine,” Luke grumbles.

“Then why are you bouncing?”

Luke doesn’t get a chance to answer, because then it’s their turn to order and Calum is buying their much-desired beverages. The clock is still ticking and he doesn’t have long to decide whether or not he should actually go through with this _thing_ after all, but maybe he should just say ‘fuck it’ and do it. He only has one chance, so.

Nevermind Starbucks.

“Luke? Wait, where are you going?” Calum questions, once he catches wind that his friend is no longer standing next to him, but is instead moving towards the door.

“I’ll catch up later, okay?” Luke says in a rush. Once he has his hand on the door handle, he doesn’t look back. “Just tell Mikey I’ll be waiting at the service station on the way out of town!”

It’s a pretty shitty thing to do, leaving his friend at Starbucks with no explanation and expecting him to carry the drinks back to the beach house alone; but, Luke is running out of time, so he dashes through the door and runs as quickly as he can from the coffee house, making his way to where he needs to be. Or, _wants_ to be.

Luke sprints as fast as he can to get to Ashton’s place.

And, really, this whole thing is sort of like a crappy rendition of a slightly-less crappy romantic comedy made in America, or something. Except, there isn’t any exciting music playing, Luke isn’t a conventionally attractive actor from the ‘90s, andhe’s running to a _friend_. Not some love interest that he’s hoping to win back with a corny speech or something. Nope.

It basically _feels_ like that, though. Luke almost hates himself for the way that his heart is beating rapidly against his chest, because he knows that it isn’t solely caused by the fast pace that he’s going. It’s so stupid, he doesn’t even know if Ashton will accept it, first of all. Another obstacle that suddenly comes to mind is the fact that Ashton might not even be _awake_ at this hour. Fuck, Luke really sucks at thinking these particularly impulsive things through, but it’s rare that he ever behaves impulsively, anyway.

One thing that provides him with comfort is that he’s absolutely positive of Ashton being home. After all, he’d learned yesterday that Ashton would have lifeguard duty on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, which totally sucks—but apparently it isn’t that uncommon. Tons of people always filled the beaches of Byron Bay on these holidays, so it’s essential to have emergency services available to them.

Luke has just skidded around the corner of a familiar small street when Ashton’s apartment complex finally comes into view. He’s _so close_ now, approaching the three-story building and stumbling maybe once or twice as he climbs the steps to the floor that Ashton lives on. When he hesitates for a split second, a little nervous about knocking, he reminds himself that he shouldn’t actually _be_ here because he and his friends have to be on the road, soon.

Every second counts.

Luke knocks on the front door once, twice, loud enough just in case Ashton really is asleep. Of course it’s rude to awaken him, if that was the case. But…

The door slowly opens with a creak from the hinges, a sleepy-looking Ashton standing on the other side.

And, _fucking hell_.

Aside from the fact that sleepy Ashton with his squinty eyes looks confused as hell to find Luke standing at his front door, there’s something absolutely _enticing_ about his shaggy bedhair, light scruff, and… and his obvious lack of a shirt, combined with a pair of sweatpants that rest low— _too low_ —on his captivating hips.

Why did the universe continue to torture Luke like this?

“Luke?” is the first thing Ashton says, and _god_ , his morning voice is so damn husky. “What are you doing here...? Shouldn’t you have left already?”

Luke fumbles with the English language too many times for it to be normal. “Um, well—I _should_ be gone—but, uh, I’m not. I mean, obviously. Because, like, I’m standing right here. So, yeah… sorry if I woke you up.”

Ashton slowly shakes his head. “It’s fine, I’m supposed to be awake soon, anyway… why are you breathing so hard? Is something wrong?”

Just like that, Ashton seems to switch from sleepy-mode to sexy-lifeguard-mode at the possibility of Luke being in trouble. And, _damn_ , if that isn’t the hottest thing…

No.

Luke is diverging from the task, now. This isn’t why he’s here. Go away, perverted thoughts about his _friend_.

It takes all of the excess adrenaline for Luke to get the words out. “No, I… I came to give you something, actually.”

He reaches into one of his back pockets, right then. What he pulls out and opens his palm for Ashton to see is a slightly tangled leather cord that has been tied to make a necklace. An array of patterned beads decorates the length of the string, only separated at the middle by a small shark tooth that dangles there instead.

“It’s a shark tooth, not that you can’t see that,” Luke begins to explain, still hard of breath, “Calum and I found it that first day on the beach, when we were digging holes and making shitty sandcastles. He let me keep it, but I didn’t know what to do with it—and I know that you love sharks—so I… made it into a necklace for you.”

Luke doesn’t tell Ashton that it had taken much longer than he’d anticipated to make the thing, nor does he mention the fact that he had to walk down to one of the still-open shops to get the materials to do so, since what was already available to them had been used for his mother’s gift. Thus, making the necklace was basically the reason that he’d stayed up far past the time that he was supposed to, since they were leaving so early the next morning.

“And, like, I guess it’s also a way to thank you for… well, constantly helping me when you don’t actually have to?” Luke continues. “Like yesterday when you showed me how to make the bracelet for my mum, and the fact that you’re teaching me to surf and you always somehow make everything around here so much more _fun_. So, I guess… Merry Christmas Eve?”

Luke had been concentrating so hard on not stuttering or failing to make sense the entire time that he spoke, so when he finishes, it’s only then does he notice that Ashton hadn’t taken the necklace from his palm, yet. As a matter of fact, Ashton hadn’t said _anything_ ; his eyes were wide as he glanced back and forth a few times between the necklace and Luke’s face, merely listening as the blonde boy explained.

The lack of any reaction at all was totally disconcerting, and Luke finds himself blabbering nervously because, shit, he knew that this would ultimately prove to be a bad and idiotic idea, and why the _hell_ had he convinced himself otherwise?

“Oh, god, is this too weird?” he asks, but it’s a rhetorical question and he’s probably speaking too fast when he says, “This is weird, isn’t it? It’s just—you see, I always get presents for Mikey and Cal, too—so, I promise I’m not _trying_ to be weird, but since we’re friends I just figured… and since you have so many bracelets but no necklaces… and I felt bad that you won’t be with your family on Christmas and—”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Ashton suddenly cuts in. He finally takes the necklace from Luke’s hand and easily slides it over his messy hair. When the shark tooth is resting against the bare skin of his chest, a giddy smile emerges and he’s looking at Luke with a twinkle in his eye. “It’s not weird at all. Thank you, Luke… no one’s ever given me anything like this before. It’s… really gorgeous.”

Ashton lifts one of his hands to feel the tooth, and he’s lightly caressing it with that same grin on his face and those bright eyes and a _little bit of a blush_ —and Luke so desperately wishes that kissing Ashton was an option because, _god_ , he doesn’t think he’ll _ever_ stop wanting to kiss Ashton; but right now, he also kind of wants to die from the overwhelming happiness that’s erupting inside of him.

“So… so you like it?” he asks, and damn his nerves for making his voice slightly crack at the end of that short sentence.

“I like it a lot.” Ashton sounds just about as soft as he looks. But, then he bites his lip and a frown settles in. “Crap, I don’t have anything to give _you_ , though…”

Luke is quick to shake his head. “Don’t worry about it, seriously. I just… wanted to do something for you, is all.”

Ashton nods slowly, and before Luke even realizes what’s happening, a pair of soft lips gently press to his left cheek, kissing him a little more than briefly.

“Merry Christmas Eve to you, too, Luke.”

Ashton had given him a kiss. _Ashton_. He did that to Luke. _Kissed_ him. On the _cheek_. _Ashton kissed him on the cheek_ —

Luke is definitely _not_ a ten-year-old who has just received his first kiss—and on the _cheek_ , no less; so, there’s no reason for him to be smiling like the goofiest goof of all time while a million thoughts flash through his head. He also shouldn’t feel like melted pudding just because Ashton is smiling back at him, the same Ashton that makes him have all of these irrational feelings. Yep, totally irrational. He knows that.

Knowing doesn’t change anything, though.

If it takes Luke a second too long to realize that his phone is ringing, it’s because the volume is set a little low. Definitely because of that. But, it takes yet another second to remember that there were two people waiting for him, no doubt wondering where the hell he is.

“Got somewhere to be?” Ashton teases, because _duh_ , Luke was supposed to have been at a totally different location, by now.

“Shit, yeah, I-I better go, then... bye!”

The sound of Ashton’s laughter follows Luke as he scrambles back down the stairs of the apartment building. When he reaches the ground, he looks back one last time to find Ashton waving at him from the top of the stairway.

“See ya, Luke! Hope you don’t miss your ride, Sydney is a _long_ walk away.”

Those charming dimples give Luke the feeling that such torture would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this was really supposed to be one whole chapter, part two will be uploaded on Wednesday to give everyone a chance to read this part. I had such a hard time deciding on where to split this chapter, but I think considering what takes place in part two, it's only fair to end this on a rather 'happy' note... :-)


	6. Fireworks At Sea - II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part two of Fireworks At Sea. Make sure you've already read [part one](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1827343/chapters/4174074), first! Enjoy. ♥

* * *

 

The holidays are spent the way that they always are.

There’s lots of laughter and yummy food and the ‘Christmas spirit’ or whatever, Luke spends time with his loving family, and he reluctantly puts up with the few relatives that really grind his gears every single year but he loves them, anyway. There’s even more delicious food and Christmas presents and he hangs around with his older siblings the majority of each day. He even spends a bit of time at both of his best friends’ houses. So, everything is basically as it should have been.

But, all of the fun that Luke is having with his own family makes him feel a little bad for Ashton. Sure, he doesn’t doubt that Ashton and the other lifeguards who were on duty likely had fun plans of their own when their shifts were finally over, but it probably isn’t the same as being with family and whatnot.

When it’s midnight and Christmas Eve has finally shifted into Christmas Day, Luke takes the time to send Ashton a text—you know, just in case the guy had been feeling lonely. Not because Luke is clingy and really misses him or anything. No way.

(12:17 AM) _Merry Christmas Ash ! :D x_

Is what he sends. He nearly falls asleep soon afterwards, still exhausted from the long drive home, when Ashton replies to him.

(12:30 AM) I refuse to say it back unless you call me :p

(12:31 AM) _Oh. I figured you might’ve been busy so I’d just leave you a text ??_

Less than a minute after he’d sent the reply, Luke’s phone begins to ring. His pulse quickens and Ashton’s voice shouldn’t have had this effect on him, but it does.

“I’m not busy,” is the first thing that he says. “Merry Christmas, Lukey.”

And, maybe they somehow end up talking on the phone until nearly four in the morning. Maybe Luke had forgotten just how sleepy he was, as they talked on and on about whatever came to their minds first: from what they expected Christmas Day to be like and crazy theories explaining how Santa visited every single house, to the simpler topics of surfing and music.

Maybe during the next two days, Luke keeps his phone close to him and texts with Ashton back and forth whenever he can, and his brothers teasingly ask if he’s got some sort of secret girlfriend.  Maybe, just maybe, Luke responds by smiling and softly shaking his head because he doesn’t want to acknowledge the fluttering in his chest.

Yeah. Maybe all of that actually happens, and perhaps Luke should feel a bit worried when they’re leaving on the 27th of December and he doesn’t feel sad at all. Well, obviously he shouldn’t have felt sad regardless, since the whole point of their vacation was to go away on their own for a while. But, he thinks that he should at least feel a _little_ bit of homesickness. He doesn’t, though.

What Luke feels instead is the anticipation of being back in Byron and seeing Ashton again.

The funny thing about that is he gets his wish much sooner than expected. After enduring the hellishly long drive for the third time that month, Luke, Michael, and Calum have only been back at the beach house for about twenty minutes before there’s a knock at the front door. Because his friends are seemingly busy and they ignore him anyway when he tells them to get the door, Luke answers it instead.

He probably shouldn’t have been surprised when it’s Ashton who’s standing on the other side, because who else visits them?  But, it is surprising that the dude’s shown up so soon, despite the fact that Luke had sent him a text saying that they were back a mere fifteen or so minutes prior. It makes him smile to know that Ashton had ceased doing whatever it is that he was doing, and quickly made his way over to the beach house just to see them again. Luke smiles even wider when he sees that Ashton is still wearing the necklace he’d given him.

“Hey,” Ashton says with a smile of his own. He’s just a tad bit fidgety, and it’s kind of cute.

“Hey, yourself,” is Luke’s smooth reply.

“I was, uh, I was just in the neighborhood—decided to stop by and say hello, since I was nearby. Coincidentally, of course.”

“Understandable. We’ve only just got back, so it’s nice timing that you suddenly decided to visit now. Coincidentally.”

“Yes, very nice timing, I think.”

“Indeed.”

They’re both biting their lips to keep from giggling aloud at the little joke, and Luke is almost overcome with how warm and happy he feels. Christmas was awesome, but being back in this relaxingly timeless environment provides some sort of security that he’s come to rely on. There’s just something about this place that doesn’t make him want to ever leave.

Ashton probably had something to do with that. Luke doesn’t give the thought much attention, because it’s better not to complicate things. Besides, it was much simpler to stand there on the front porch of the beach house, grinning and staring at each other like two giddy fools having a conversation with their eyes.

It doesn’t last for too long, though.

“Ashton!” comes a loud screech from within the house.

Luke is more or less shoved out of the way when Michael comes charging past the doorway, and luckily Ashton has good balance and a relatively strong stance, because it comes in handy when Michael nearly crashes into him for a hug. He wraps his arms around Ashton’s shoulders and squeezes him tightly, while Ashton appears surprised at first but then giggles at the affection and returns the hug.

“It’s been _so long_!” Michael cries dramatically in a high-pitched tone. “I never thought I’d see you again!”

Ashton responds in a deep, pensive tone, “Worry no more, my fair lady, for I have returned to you.”

Luke snorts at the scene before him and shakes his head. He’s about to comment on how silly they look when Calum decides to join them on the front porch.

“Ashton’s here? Why didn’t anyone tell me? You jerks,” he says, but he doesn’t seem to really mind since he takes it upon himself to join the embrace.

And now Luke is basically just awkwardly standing there while his three friends hug it out on the front porch of the beach house. He doesn’t know why he insists on hanging around such weirdos, but perhaps that’s just further proof that he himself is a weirdo. Yeah, he’s a weirdo amongst weirdos, so it makes sense.

After a few seconds, Michael reaches an arm out and forcefully pulls Luke into the hug so that he won’t feel left out. Not that he _was_ feeling a little left out or anything. Nope. He definitely isn’t. But, it’s nice, once his nose is practically nuzzled into the crook of Ashton’s neck and he’s filled with that same coconut and honey scent once again. If the scent has become some sort of guilty pleasure, then so be it, because it makes Luke feel more pleasure than it does guilt.

Other than that, he doesn’t mind the hug and being squished, until Calum ruins the mood by declaring that they’re apart of his harem, now. Well, at least it was good while it lasted. When they break apart and his friends invite Ashton inside, maybe Luke catches Ashton staring at him again in a different way than before, but he tells himself that it’s nothing.

It’s good to be back.

***

The final days leading up to New Years go by in a bit of a blur. In fact, the entire week between Christmas and the first day of January is usually irrelevant for them, which is something that becomes more evident with each passing year. Luke barely even remembers what he does to pass the time before it’s December 31st, but he knows that it’s spent in and around the beach house with his friends.  

Specifically with Ashton.

Things between him and Ashton are… _good_ , for lack of a better word. It’s not as if things were bad, because they definitely weren’t. Whenever Ashton was around, which was nearly all hours of the day except for when he was busy with lifeguard stuff, they would talk and joke around like they always had before. Only, Luke has to put in quite a bit of effort not to flirt with him, because he really doesn’t want to make Ashton uncomfortable. And, he never really realized just how much flirtation went on between them until he was actively trying _not_ to do it. It was difficult, to be honest.

Sometimes it was done unconsciously: one of them would say something funny and the other would laugh and reply with something witty. Soon enough, it was obvious that they were flirting and Luke would immediately stop himself, embarrassed at his lack of control. Ashton, on the other hand, dealt with these moments by pretending that there wasn’t anything awkward between them at all.

The awkwardness is what Luke hates most. No matter how much fun they’re having together, there seems to be a constant underlying awkwardness between them. That was exactly what he’d feared would happen, after that night at Ashton’s place. Luke had really hoped things would be completely normal between them now, but it looks like his wish won’t be granted instantaneously.

It’s going to take some time to get used to, so he doesn’t stress over it. At least, not too much.

More important things are occupying his thoughts at the moment, such as the fact that there were only a couple of hours left in the year 2014. Now, he could either spend that time reminiscing over all of the good and bad shit that had happened to him throughout the year, or he could get drunk as fuck at the party that they are going to.

Obviously, Luke chooses to get drunk as fuck.  

It was a bit of a shocker considering how dorky he and his friends are, but Lindsey had been kind enough to invite them to some huge New Year party near Belongil Beach where a lot of the luxurious waterfront houses were. Apparently, this was a party that literally _all_ of the young people in Byron knew about and so they just _had_ to be there. Whether that was true or not, they’d eagerly accepted the invite.

Well, Michael had.

Of course Luke and Calum wanted to go, too, but it was kind of funny to see their usually secluded friend get so excited about a social event—a big ass _party_ , nonetheless—which means that this Lindsey girl must’ve really had his attention.

Luke has only spoken to her twice now: once during the second time that Michael had dragged them to the arcade to spend the free tokens she’d given them from their previous, and again when he, Calum, and Ashton had gone back to the beach house after a game of soccer. What they found upon entering the living room was Michael and Lindsey enthusiastically playing a video game on the couch—which Luke was grateful for, because it had sounded like they were doing something _completely_ different from outside.

At least Michael seemed to have better success than Luke did at wooing the person he liked.

Calum kicks a small pebble that lay in his path and watches as it rolls across the gravel. It stops in front of Luke, prompting the blonde boy to kick it back towards him; he’s amused when it hits Michael’s shoe instead and his friend curses.

“Can’t you two walk down a road like normal people? Stop kicking things.”

“Chill out, mister grumpy. We’re just messing around,” Luke teases. “You were ecstatic about this whole thing before we left, what happened?”

“I think he’s nervous about seeing his girlfriend,” Calum ‘whispers’ rather loudly.

Michael scoffs with a roll of his eyes. “She’s _not_ my girlfriend. We just like the same things.”

“Like weird video games?” Calum teases.

“And hair dye,” Luke adds. “She’s really pretty, though, with her fairy floss colored hair and all. You two look like little pixies when you stand next to each other.”

“And _you_ two are just jealous,” Michael huffs. It’s no use, though, because he’s grinning like a little pixie, too. “She and I are… a work in progress.”

Calum snorts and nudges his friend in the side. “Aka, you’re totally hoping for some _Linds-ay puss-ay_ by the end of the night?”

They all burst into giggles like the idiotic teenage boys that they are, and Michael playfully shoves Calum onward so that they make it to the party _someday_ , at this rate. Even from where they stand at the moment, the booming of loud, muffled music can be heard. The vibrations of it all can practically be felt, too.

“What about you, Luke? Feeling lucky tonight?” Calum asks.

Oh no. Is it his turn to be teased now? Probably. Luke manages to keep his composure, though. Right about now, sex with a stranger doesn’t sound nearly as appealing as having alcohol in his system.

“I plan to be very drunk and thus very happy by the end of the night because of my drunken state, so yeah, I guess I do feel lucky,” he answers plainly.

Of course his persistent friend continues to prod.

“Oh, come on! It’s the end of the year. Don’t you wanna unwind a little? Have a bit of fun?”

“Drinking _is_ fun, though.”

Michael cries out dramatically, “He’s drinking to forget! Luke, this alcoholic problem of yours has gone on long enough. Calum, I think this calls for an intervention.”

Because it seems like the most liable option, Luke simply tunes out his friends and runs ahead of them, laughing all the while. He doesn’t need to look back to see if they’re following him or not, because obviously they all had the same destination, anyway.

The party turns out being even bigger than Luke had imagined. It was being hosted by some dude he obviously didn’t know, and it took place in an enormous beach house that he’s sure costs a _shit ton_ to rent out. The exterior is painted completely white and designed with a modern look. The house itself is probably three times as large as their little bungalow, and has just as many windows, too. There’s also a beautiful balcony on the side of the house, which faces the ocean. Apparently it was so packed inside that some people had no choice but to stand outside on the balcony.

It’s big and bright and pretty, the music is actually really good, and Luke is damn sure that the liquor will be even better.

The front door is basically remains open, people coming in and going out almost nonstop. So, they take it upon themselves to do the same. The moment that they’re inside, Luke is extremely grateful that he isn’t claustrophobic, because it’s jam packed with bodies standing around everywhere; against the walls, on the long stairway, and even the corners of the vast room are occupied by human bodies. Living human bodies, of course. Otherwise that would be weird.

“First objective,” Michael shouts over the music, “we find Lindsey! Second objective: try not to get lost and swallowed up in the process of finding Lindsey!”

“If you get left behind, all you have to do is look up and search for the blonde quiff!” Calum shouts back.

It takes a second, but Luke eventually gets the joke and simply rolls his eyes. He isn’t _that_ tall, okay. And, he could be of better use than a gigantic pole to look for when they get lost. He says as much, but they tell him to shut up and get a move on as they form a chain by tightly holding onto each other’s shoulders. Luke takes the lead, of course.

They shuffle through the crowd until they’ve reached what is most likely the living room, where even more people are located but at least there’s _actually_ room to move around. Well, enough room, anyway. Luke still feels a little squished and it’s kind of hot so he’s going to start sweating, soon.

Doesn’t matter, though; he just wants a _drink_ , for god’s sake. Everyone around him has one and it isn’t fair!

Luke glances up, his new mission being to locate the kitchen. His eyes briefly scan the room, and… and he’s taken by surprise when they lock with a pair of wide hazel ones that he’s probably become a little too familiar with.

A few seconds pass by where they’re basically in a stalemate. Then, Luke makes the first move when he raises his arm high enough to wave at Ashton. Ashton immediately returns the wave with a happy—almost _hopeful_ —smile on his face. It looks as if he’s about to make his way over to where Luke and his friends stood, but then the guy standing next to him grabs his attention. Less than five seconds later, Ashton is being urged to follow him, and he’s lured off to god knows where, disappearing amongst the crowd.

And…

Luke isn’t suddenly filled with jealousy (yes, he is) that this random dude whom apparently Ashton is buddies with—but never bothered to introduce Luke to—was stealing him away when, _clearly_ , Ashton wants to hang out with Luke.

He doesn’t feel any negative emotions at all (yes, he does) because he has to remember that before he even came to Byron, Ashton had had friends and acquaintances of his own. Why should he have to spend all of his time with some blonde kid from Sydney? So, it’s no big deal (it kind of is) and it’s none of Luke’s business.

Luke isn’t a clingy friend.

“There’s Lindsey!” Michael says, and he sounds both excited and a little nervous. It’s a little bit cute.

Luke attempts to forget about what had just happened and focuses on channeling the social skills that were hidden somewhere inside of him. Even though he loved parties and hanging out, it didn’t change the fact that he was still a relatively awkward guy. 

“Mikey! You made it!” Lindsey exclaims when they approach. She and Michael share a brief, slightly awkward hug and they’re both giggling when they pull away.

Luke stores the little moment in his memory so that he won’t forget to tease Michael about it, later.

“I think you’ve met before, but these are my friends, Alana and Jessica,” she says, pointing to the two girls standing to her right.

They all exchange casual ‘hellos’ and it’s the first time that Luke notices the other girls, but he doesn’t recognize them, anyway. It’s a shame because they’re _really_ pretty, to be honest. He still doesn’t know them, though—but, apparently Calum does. One of the girls is looking at his dark-haired friend as if he were a buffet of sorts, and Luke considers stepping aside just in case she suddenly decides that she wants a bite.

Because Luke has known his friend long enough, he can tell that Calum is ‘playing it cool’ and thus he pretends not to notice the blatant staring; he does give the girl a small smile, though.

But, then he suddenly has an arm draped over Luke’s broad shoulders.

“This is Luke, by the way. He’s _very_ single and ready to mingle!”

Luke promptly shoves the _embarrassment_ in the ribcage and the girls laugh. At least it’s a funny joke to them, because the same can’t be said for Luke. He smiles a little anyway, and when the attention is off of them, he pulls Calum to the side for a brief chat.

“How do you know them?” he asks. “Not Lindsey, the other two.”

Calum merely rolls his eyes. “What did you think I got up to, whenever you and Ashton went on your secret adventures and Mikey didn’t feel like going out? _Knitting_? Of course not.” He pauses after the sarcasm, and quickly adds, “Say, I could probably hook you up with one of them, if you want.”

“No,” Luke objects. Even he’s a little surprised with how fast he’d declined, but whatever.

Calum frowns. “Why not? They’re really nice. You should, like, actually try talking to them.”

Luke doesn’t say anything.

“Okay,” Calum goes on, and then he’s pointing to random people in the crowd. “How about her over there? Or, that guy with the glasses? He’s cute. Don’t you think he’s cute?”

“He might not even like guys…”

“Want me to ask him for you?”

“No, I don’t want you to ask him anything,” Luke groans, rubbing his temples from the slight annoyance he’s beginning to feel.

“Come on, Luke. Tell me what you’re in the mood for, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“…Am I ordering at a restaurant? When you put it like that, it sounds a lot like cannibalism.”

Calum gives him _the look_ and Luke sighs heavily. “Why are you so persistent on hooking me up with someone? It’s weird.”

At first it looks as if Calum will argue with him, but then he sees the expression on Luke’s face and he’s sighing, as well.

“Sorry. If it’s actually annoying you, I’ll stop. I just want you to have fun, you know? Since you look a bit… miserable.”

“What? I’m not miserable, though.”

“Yeah, right. Maybe you’re not miserable, but I can tell that something’s been bothering you the past few days, even if you won’t tell me what it is.”

Luke stops pretending to be enamored with the expensive flooring and looks up to meet Calum’s eyes. When he finally is looking at his friend, Calum raises a brow as if questioning him. No words were spoken, but Luke knows that he’s basically saying something along the lines of, ‘It’s about Ashton, isn’t it?’

And, yeah, _miserable_ really is the wrong word to describe how Luke is feeling, because he isn’t miserable, that’s for sure. Calum was correct about it pertaining to Ashton, however. It’s stupid and ridiculous because even Luke doesn’t know why he feels a little off. Despite the occasional awkwardness, he was very content with his and Ashton’s friendship. He still yearns to be around Ashton as much as possible, yearns to kiss and touch him, too. But, that was nothing new. And, it was okay.

 _They_ were okay.

So, Luke should’ve felt peachy and perfect, instead of being a little on edge and with a great desire to get drunk.

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” he says at last. Just to appear more convincing, he puts on a small smile.

Calum doesn’t return the smile, but he does pat Luke on the shoulder and ushers him back into their little group.

Luke puts up with Michael and Lindsey’s flirtations and the eye-fucking between Calum and what’s-her-name for about fifteen minutes, and then he goes off in search of something to quench his thirst. It takes less than a minute to find a stash of beer, even though he was hoping for something much stronger, but beer is okay for now. Besides, in his experience, a party doesn’t actually _feel_ like a party until he’s buzzed.

It helps a lot, actually, and soon enough Luke feels _very_ happy to be there at the party. Like, he’s happy because everyone should be happy at parties, so he hopes that everyone else is feeling just as happy as he does, but if they aren’t, he’ll be happy for them. Surprisingly, Luke isn’t _totally_ drunk yet, but he’s in that in-between state where he finds it hard to give a damn about much of anything, he’s just happy. That’s why he grabs as many beers as his arms can carry—he plans to share them, of course—and makes his way back to the area where he recalls that his friends were standing.

Except, when he gets there, some other group of people have filled in the space. A quick glance around the room reveals that Michael and Calum are nowhere to be seen, and Luke feels absolutely _betrayed_. He spins around again, this time a bit too quickly, and nearly stumbles into the person that approaches him from behind.

“Fuck—sorry,” he quickly says. When he recognizes the face, he adds, “Oh, um… Alana, right?”

“No… I’m Jessica,” the girl murmurs.

Luke cringes, embarrassed. “Shit, I’m sorry. Again.”

This time she laughs. “I’m kidding, I really am Alana. Nice memory, though.”

“Oh.” Luke laughs a little, too, though it’s more bashful than anything. Not knowing what to say next, he holds out one of the bottles still cradled in his arms. “Beer?”

“God, yes,” Alana sighs, relieved. She practically snatches the beer out of his hand, opens it up, and chugs more than half of it while Luke simply watches with his eyes a little wide.

“Wow, uh, do… do you want another one?” he offers, once she finishes the first bottle.

“No, it’s okay,” she laughs again. “Just needed something to drink, after standing around and watching _those_ guys, you know?”

Luke is about to ask who ‘those guys’ are, but then he understands that she’s referring to her friends and _his_ friends. She had probably started to feel awkward, being the only one who wasn’t absorbed into ‘romance space’ or whatever. Luke totally gets it, because he’d begun to feel the same way. Being a third wheel sucked, but fifth-wheeling was even worse.

“Understandable.” He says, nodding. “So, Lindsey and Jessica—are you three, like, best friends...?”

Alana shrugs. “Well, we _are_ friends, that’s for sure. Jess and I work part-time in the shop across from the arcade. It’s just a little thing with perfumes and lotions, stuff like that. Sometimes we visit the arcade to chill with Lindsey. That’s actually where we met your friends, once—I don’t remember ever seeing you there, though.”

There’s a one hundred percent chance that it’s because Luke was with Ashton at the time, but that’s a detail best left unsaid.

“Oh, I’ve only been to the arcade twice, so… yeah.”

_‘So… yeah’?_

What a crappy attempt at conversing. Even while tipsy, Luke still lacks efficient experience in the social field. But, it isn’t totally his fault. There was always that little bit of awkwardness when he spoke to pretty girls.

Alana is a very pretty girl, too. She’s shorter than him, which almost goes without saying, but she isn’t _short_ as a general definition. She has really long, wavy, chestnut colored hair that almost reaches her waist. She’s wearing a pair of high-waisted shorts and a band t-shirt of a group Luke has never heard of before, but he just might look them up. She also has a nice face, a cute laugh, and pretty brown eyes to match it all.

None of it excites Luke, though.

“I like your nose piercing,” he blurts out once he notices the ring, and because the silence was starting to get awkward.

“Thanks, I did it myself at a truck stop.”

“Woah, _seriously_?”

“Of course not!” she exclaims with a chuckle. “I get the feeling that you’re kind of gullible, Luke.”

Luke frowns because he’s not gullible at all! People just have this natural tendency to tease him a lot, and often for no reason. Still, he laughs along since it’s a little amusing.

There’s a moment when Luke looks away from Alana to glance up—he’s not really sure what causes him to do it—but he curiously looks around the room. His senses were right, because just like the first time, his eyes happen to land on Ashton. He hadn’t spotted the guy _anywhere_ since the moment they’d arrived, but now here he is again, standing on the opposite side of the room.

Ashton is intensely staring at him and Alana.

Luke considers waving again, but the expression on Ashton’s face is something he doesn’t think he’s seen before. It makes Luke feel… almost uncomfortable, to be honest. If it weren’t for the fact that he was still pretty buzzed, he probably _would_ feel uncomfortable. Like, completely uncomfortable.

Whether Ashton notices that he’s been caught staring or not, he doesn’t react. Even when Luke looks down and tries to resume the slightly-awkward conversation with Alana, he just _knows_ that Ashton is still staring. He checks twice, the results being the same, so he stops glancing in Ashton’s direction. It doesn’t stop the feeling that those eyes were burning a hole into his skull, either.

It makes Luke’s entire body tingle with nervousness _and_ excitement because, god, how could Ashton be so goddamn _weird_ sometimes but still manage to be cooler than Luke? The only explanation he could think of that caused the staring is that, maybe, Ashton knows Alana and doesn’t like her for some reason. But, if that were true—and it probably isn’t—shouldn’t Ashton be staring at Alana, then? Luke’s pretty sure that _he’s_ the one being stared at, overall. There’s only one possible alternative, and it would be that Ashton is _jealous_.

Obviously it doesn’t count as an actual possibility because it’s completely absurd. Why would Ashton be jealous while watching Luke talk to a girl he’d just met? It’s ridiculous to even consider such a thing, because they were friends and friends just don’t act that way.

Thank goodness there’s a sudden commotion going on outside, and then everyone in the entire house seems to shuffle towards the exits.

“What’s going on?” Luke asks Alana over the noisiness.

“Countdown to New Years!” is all she says, and then she disappears from sight not long afterwards while Luke is busy trying his hardest not to shove anyone. He lets a lot of people go before him to avoid being squished.

Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t see Ashton in the mess of people.

Every single person at the party walks down to the beach, which takes about two minutes since the beach house is right off the shore. People were hollering and cheering, making out with each other, and running around in their various intoxicated states. Sadly, Luke isn’t drunk, doesn’t have anyone to make out with, and he doesn’t really feel like making a bunch of noise for nothing.

He’s more than relieved when Michael and Lindsey run past him, shouting for him to hurry along. The relief quickly turns into worry when he sees what looks like mini explosives in their hands.

“Come on, Luke! The countdown is about to start, want a firework? They’re sparklers,” Michael says in a rush. He holds one of them out to Luke, practically shaking it in his face.

Well, at least it’s not some sort of nuclear weapon.

“No, thanks. I’m good,” Luke declines with a soft smile.

Michael smirks, and then he and Lindsey take off again. “Fine, be a weakling! The _real_ fireworks will start in a sec, though, so don’t go anywhere!” he shouts over his shoulder.

Sure enough, the countdown begins and every soul on the beach seems to join in.

_10!_

_9!_

_8!_

Luke’s heart rate quickens, and at first he doesn’t even realize that he’s counting along, too.

_7!_

_6!_

_5!_

Suddenly he’s being overwhelmed with an influx of emotions, from happiness to anxiousness to dread to melancholy to bliss.

_4!_

He has no idea what sort of whacky obstacles await him in the year 2015. But, in this moment, he couldn’t care less.

_3!_

_2!_

Time slows down until Luke can feel every fraction of the final second that passes. He opens his eyes, realizing he had anxiously squeezed them shut earlier in the countdown, and he starts to look up so that he can catch the fireworks from the moment that they set off. The first thing that he sees and coincidentally for the third time that night, is Ashton standing straight ahead, about forty feet away. Ashton looks at him, Luke stares back, and they smile at each other as both the countdown and the year comes to an end.

Time starts to move again.

_1!_

There’s a roaring cheer amongst the crowd as everyone shouts ‘Happy New Year’ and the sound of the first firework goes off. Luke diverts his attention to the dark sky, which lights up with an almost blinding plethora of colors. They’re absolutely beautiful, especially those fireworks that make a cute little pattern to shape into something else after they go off. Luke watches diligently for the first minute that it goes on, then he glances back down to the scene around him. He doesn’t even try to lie to himself about being disappointed when he doesn’t immediately see Ashton, once again. He does spot Calum, though.

 _Well then_.

Luke laughs aloud when he spots Calum not too far away, but Calum obviously doesn’t notice Luke because he’s too busy sucking Jessica’s face off. Well, actually they were sucking each other’s faces off with equal enthusiasm. The term ‘making out’ isn’t nearly strong enough to describe the passionate way in which they were shoving their tongues down each other’s throats, and Luke really doesn’t need to see all of that, so he looks away, still laughing a little. At least _someone_ is going to be satisfied in the morning.

And, maybe Michael will be, too.

Luke finds his other friend a bit further down on the beach. Michael and Lindsey are happily playing around with a couple of sparklers and using them to write random words in the air. They’re also holding hands, and it doesn’t appear as if they were planning to let go anytime soon.

Of course Luke is happy for his friends. Of course he’s totally glad that they’re having fun and being young and all of those other wonderful things that every youth looks forward to experiencing.

But, of course Luke is feeling a little lonely, too.  

“Boo.”

It was whispered from behind and closely into his ear. Startled, Luke turns around and his heart skips a beat when he faces just who he had unconsciously hoped it would be.

“Happy New Year,” Ashton says in a low voice. He’s still smiling but Luke can tell that he’s nervous about something, evident by the way he fiddles with his long fingers.

“Happy New Year, Ash.”

The firework show above them is still in motion, but Luke knows that none of it can compare to how he feels whenever he’s looking at Ashton. Fireworks were awesome, but Ashton was… _Ashton_. Besides, Luke hadn’t been able to talk to the guy all night, but now he can.

He really wants to.

Ashton clears his throat, and he’s still kind of fidgeting when he asks, “Enjoying the party?”

“It’s pretty cool, I guess… although, I’m not nearly as drunk as I’d like to be.”

Luke flashes a funny grin that makes Ashton laugh, even though it hadn’t totally been a joke. He still loves it when he’s the reason Ashton makes that lovely sound, though. He was allowed to admit that, because friends always want to make their friends laugh, right?

“So, um,” Ashton starts, “I’d wanted to talk to you before this, but you seemed… busy.”

Busy? Luke thinks to himself, trying to remember. It doesn’t really make any sense, but…

 _Oh_.

Luke had been ‘busy’ talking to Alana not too long ago. The fact that Ashton is even bringing it up must mean that he really was jealous. It _has_ to mean that, because it most certainly implies it. Luke really doesn’t get why Ashton would be jealous at all, but he decides not to think on it too much.

“Well… I’m not busy at the moment,” he says, because he very much wants Ashton to stay.

Evidently, it was a good thing to say because Ashton nods, and he’s looking at Luke in a way that makes the Luke’s breath catch in his throat. It seems different, somehow. Different from all the other times he’s looked at Luke, and much different from the odd staring when he had been jealous.

Luke swallows nervously, and Ashton looks and sounds hopeful as he finally asks, “Do you wanna get out of here?”

What does that even mean? Who knows. Luke definitely doesn’t, but he finds himself nodding, anyway.

“Sure.”

***

Ashton leads them away from the party until the sound of music and cheering is completely behind them. The only sounds that remain are the exploding of fireworks in the night sky—although the spacing between each one signals that the show will be over soon—and the rhythmic crunching of their feet in the sand as they leave behind footprints.

Luke has no idea where they’re going, but he trusts his friend. Every now and then he glances over at Ashton, and in the corner of his eye he catches when Ashton glances back. They steal a glance at the same time and burst into giggles for no reason when they’ve caught each other, but the subtle tension between them is a comfortable one, not awkward.  So, Luke thinks it’s nice.

They eventually stumble upon what looks like a really small pier. It’s likely an abandoned one, and Ashton says as much when they approach it, but it’s easy enough to tell that it’s old once Luke sees how damaged it is from up close. Somehow, the little wooden thing is still standing, but only just.

“Watch your step,” Ashton warns. He isn’t wrong in doing so, because the planks creak loudly underneath their weight and Luke momentarily fears that he’ll fall through.

“This… isn’t going to suddenly break, is it?” he asks warily.

Ashton smirks. “No, but it’s unbalanced so you could possibly trip and break an ankle. I’ll make sure that you don’t, though.”

Before Luke can ask just how he’ll manage to do such a thing, Ashton takes ahold of his hand and guides him along the pier’s narrow walkway.

The only reason that they’re holding hands is because Ashton is trying to help him, that’s all. Luke knows this, but his pathetic insides flip out from the unfamiliar contact, anyway. Hell, their clasped hands actually makes Luke even more susceptible to tripping and falling flat on his face, because he’s so concentrated on absorbing the feeling of his smaller hand in Ashton’s larger one before it’s over. It’s an unconscious act and Luke isn’t sure how he lets it happen, but he squeezes the hand just briefly. Ashton only reacts by looking back at him with a small smile.

He doesn’t let go of Luke’s hand until they reach the end.

Ashton plops down into a sitting position, letting his legs dangle over the edge. After a pause, Luke very carefully takes a seat next to him, still wary of the broken structure. It’s not a bad place to be, though, and they get to see the last fireworks of the night. The reflection on the ocean surface adds to the beauty of the sparkles, and after the finale, the only source of light that they are awarded is from the moon.

“Is this like a hiding place of yours?” Luke questions after a moment of silence. Although the area isn’t totally secluded, he notices that there aren’t any people nearby, which is strange because he’d assumed that _all_ areas of the different beaches would be swarmed with people at this special hour.

“Not really,” Ashton laughs. “Maybe it used to be a little hangout spot, but it’s old and narrow and people have more or less forgotten about it, or they just don’t care. I wouldn’t call it a hideout, though.”

“What would you call it, then?”

“Hmm… it’s more like my unofficial headquarters for super serious business things,” he says with the most earnest poker-face ever managed.

Luke can’t stop himself from smirking. “You make it sound like you’re some sort of superhero in disguise.”

“I basically am.”

“And since I’m here with you, that would make me a superhero, too.”

“Maybe.”

“So, I’m Batman and you’re Robin.”

Ashton gasps, totally offended, and turns to glare at Luke with dismay. “What? Why the hell do I have to be the sidekick? _I’m_ the lifeguard, you know. _I_ saved your life!”

“Robin has saved Batman tons of times, I’m sure. That’s what partners do,” Luke casually replies. “I’m still Batman, though.”

Ashton crosses his arms over his chest, clearly taking this debate very seriously. It’s actually kind of cute.

“And just what makes you special enough to be Batman, hm?”

“Well, first off, I’m taller than you.”

As if pointing out the obvious wasn’t cruel enough, Luke teasingly sticks his tongue out for good measure. It’s absolutely worth it when Ashton looks like he’s about to start fuming like an upset child, but then he takes a deep, _deep_ breath and retorts with a little huff.

“I still have bigger muscles than you, you gigantic string bean.”

The weak insult merely aids in making Luke lose the composure that he was trying so hard to maintain, and he’s laughing aloud before he can help himself. Ashton attempts to scold him for laughing instead of being offended, but it’s no use because he’s beginning to laugh, too.

“Thanks, I’ve never been referred to as a vegetable before,” Luke says after he’s coherent again, and he wipes away a stray tear from his cheek. “Anyway, you’re too cute to be Batman. You fit Robin’s image way more, I think.”

It’s only when Ashton doesn’t immediately reply that Luke realizes the weight of those words. And, _fuck_ —he was obviously flirting again, when he hadn’t really meant to do so at all. Somehow it nearly always came to this point, though, and now things were probably about to get a little awkward.

Nice going, Hemmings.

Instead of quickly changing the subject like he normally would, Ashton mutters, “Shut up, I’m not cute. If… if anyone’s cute, it’s you. With your stupidly cute nose and that damn chin dimple.”

It surprises Luke more than he cares to admit, and his eyes frantically search Ashton’s face to find some sort of explanation for that unusually honest statement. He finds nothing, however; just the complete sincerity that makes up Ashton’s expression as he stares back at Luke.

This whole thing is a little too dangerous.

The tension between them is beginning to feel the same way it had always felt before Ashton eventually turned down Luke’s advances. They shouldn’t be doing this, because friends don’t do this sort of thing, right? At least, not in a serious way. This isn’t a joke, though, that much is obvious. Ashton wouldn’t be so insensitive to joke around like this with Luke, since he _knows_ that Luke likes him. So…

So Luke tries to make light of it. “I’m not cute, either… I’m punk rock,” he pouts.

It’s a nice recovery, he thinks, because Ashton giggles a little and ceases with the intense staring.

“Of course you are, Lukey. And I bet those sexy piercings make you feel _so_ _tough_.”

Okay, referring to Luke’s piercings as _sexy_ definitely doesn’t help the situation. Like, at all! It’s as if Ashton isn’t even trying anymore, while Luke has been making a great effort every single day to not be flirtatious in any way. If he was being honest, it almost makes him a little angry. The last thing that Luke wants is to make Ashton uncomfortable around him, yet here the guy is being weird and confusing again.

It really isn’t fair and it doesn’t make any sense.

“Wanna know something silly?” Ashton lightly pokes Luke in the arm, waiting until he has his full attention before continuing. “There was a highly embarrassing period in my youth, where I would run around telling everyone that I was going to be a superhero when I grew up. Not just any superhero, though. No, I wanted the ability to breathe and live underwater, that way I could protect sea creatures _and_ land creatures. I… guess you can safely assume that I was definitely the weird kid.”

Luke chuckles a little and shakes his head. “Not really. I mean, what kid _hasn’t_ dreamed about such a thing? You basically got your wish, too.”

“My wish? What do you mean?”

“Well, you know,” Luke briefly pauses and licks his lips, “I think you kind of are a superhero? To some extent. Hell, maybe even to the full extent. I mean, you can’t breathe underwater but you still face the ocean every single day. You protect ‘land creatures’ while also protecting sea creatures, since you protect the environment that they live in. Those things are pretty… _super_ , I’d say. So, you’re like a superhero.”

There’s a short-lived silence that follows and then Ashton hums with a nod. When he smiles at Luke, it’s unusually soft and sincere, a sort of contrast to the familiar wide and giddy one that he almost constantly wears on his face.

“You have a creative way of thinking, Luke. Tell me more about what a great superhero I am, it feels nice.”

Luke rolls his eyes—it’s much easier to pretend that he’s slightly annoyed than to acknowledge that Ashton actually likes the mega corny words that had just spewed from his lips.

“Not if it’s going to give you a big head.”

“My head is already big, though,” Ashton giggles. “Come on, I thought you were my biggest fan?”

“I-I’m not...”

“Liar.”

Ashton is leaning closer and closer to him as if he was steadily forgetting what the concept of personal space meant—not that there had ever been such a thing between them before. But, it’s incredibly difficult for Luke not to panic when their shoulders are pressed together and only a few inches separate their faces. All the while, Ashton is still grinning.

“I can recall you being my damsel in distress plenty of times, Lukey boy. Do you deny it?”

Luke’s reply is nothing more than a distracted murmur, and he’s fully aware that he glances down at Ashton’s lips at least three times before he says, “What if I do…?”

All of a sudden, the tension around them has become so _thick_ and they’re not saying anything, Luke is barely even breathing because Ashton hasn’t laughed and pulled back yet like he _should_ —after all, it’s supposed to be a stupid little joke. It’s just a joke but Luke honestly believes that his heart will give out soon if those bright hazel eyes continue looking at him like that, for fuck’s sake.

Without warning, Ashton stands up.

And then he’s pulling his shirt off.

“What are… what are you doing?” Luke stutters, eyes going even wider when Ashton starts unbuttoning his jeans.

“Taking my clothes off.”

Well _duh._ Luke can definitely see that with his own eyes, not that he didn’t want to. It’s just…

“But _why_ are you taking y-your clothes off?”

“So they don’t get wet, obviously!”

Ashton lets out a sharp laugh as if it were something Luke _totally_ should’ve known, and therefore it was kind of stupid of him to ask in the first place. In a matter of seconds, the curly-headed, unrealistically _sexy_ weirdo is wearing nothing but a tight pair of black boxer briefs that don’t leave anything to the imagination. It’s a miracle that Luke hasn’t gone into cardiac arrest just yet, and when Ashton notices where his blatant stare is aimed at, he laughs once more.

“Don’t worry, I don’t skinny dip on the first date,” he teases with a wink. And, let’s be honest, _of course_ Luke had been wondering whether Ashton would finish the job and remove the last article of clothing that was obstructing his view.

But, what a glorious view it is.

Luke absolutely _struggles_ to come up with an excuse, because ‘no I totally wasn’t just staring at your crotch’ isn’t exactly convincing; but it’s more or less forgotten about when Ashton faces the other way and dives into the sea water, eliciting a subtle splash. A few seconds later, his head pops back up to the surface and he’s wearing a mischievous grin.

“Well? Aren’t you coming? It’s no fun swimming alone.”

It’s hardly a conscious act when Luke stands up, still peering over the edge. He doesn’t even know if he should or if he _wants_ to go for a swim, though. However, it’s not about the swim. It’s about taking the golden opportunity to join his mostly-naked crush in the water, underneath the gorgeous moonlight. At midnight. On New Year’s Day.

Seriously, is there even a downside to this?

“Strip! Strip! Strip!” Ashton chants with wild exuberance.

Luke unbuttons his plaid shirt as quickly as he’d ever managed before. He’s temporarily reduced to giggles when Ashton wolf-whistles at him because his chest is now fully exposed. This whole situation is wacky and random and inappropriate and they _really_ need to reconsider some things, but… but, they don’t. All Luke feels is excitement and nervousness and a bunch of other feelings as he’s standing there on the edge of the pier, in nothing but his boxers while Ashton intensely gazes up at him. The tension leading up to the moment before his feet leave the wooden planks is much stronger than it should be, but it’s a wonderful sensation.

Luke jumps into the water.

The water rushes past his head, swallowing him up and it’s cold, but not unbearably so. Even though it’s past midnight now, it’s still a typically warm summer night, and the coolness of the sea feels divine. It’s also really fucking dark, though, and when Luke comes up to the surface for air, it’s only then that he realizes one of the main differences between swimming in the sea during the day versus swimming during the night.

“Ash, is this, like… is this safe?” he asks, blinking the water from his eyelids so that he can hopefully see a bit clearer. “It’s almost pitch black under there... there aren’t any sharks in this area, right?”

He doesn’t get an answer. In fact, upon glancing around, he realizes that doesn’t see Ashton anywhere. And, that scares him more than anything.

“…Asht—”

“ _Grawr!_ ”

The monstrous roar cuts him off and Luke shrieks, startled when the thing pops up closely behind him.

Of course the ‘thing’ is only Ashton attempting to frighten him, and the attempt obviously worked. Maybe a little too well, even.

“ _Dick_ ,” Luke says once his heart starts beating again, and he gives the teasing bastard a dirty look. It lasts for about five seconds, because even he has to admit that it was a pretty good trick.

“Aw, Lukey. No need to pout like— _hey_!”

As revenge, he splashes Ashton right in the face. The immediate retaliation is expected, and soon enough, they’re in an all-out splashing fight. To be honest, Luke thinks such a childish skirmish is the most fun that he’s had all week. Scratch that, he firmly believes it. It’s fun and even though they’re making a ton of noise with all the splashing and uncontrollable laughter, it also feels rather peaceful. Consequently, Luke forgets all about awkwardness and sharks and end-of-the-year stress.

This precise moment is the only thing that matters in his little universe.

Because everyone knows that Ashton _always_ has to be the one to finish things, Luke splashes him one last time and quickly swims behind one of the wooden pillars of the pier, before he even gets a chance to counterattack. It’s a useless hiding spot, of course, but who cares. Luke is winning, and it can possibly stay that way if he tries being tactical about this.

Luke can hear Ashton swimming towards him, but the sound is almost drowned out by how hard his own heart is beating. He’s still grinning like an ecstatic child playing a game as the ‘enemy’ approaches, and soon enough, the only thing separating them is the pillar itself. Ashton on one side, Luke on the other.

“Give up already, you lost,” Luke advises. He’s breathless from the energy he’s spent as well as the laughter that just won’t seem to stop, but he’s able to form words nonetheless.

Ashton doesn’t reply.

Luke cautiously peeks around the corner, just in case Ashton was ready to splash him in the face and then claim himself the victor. It doesn’t happen, luckily—and somehow, the guy has managed to evade Luke without him even knowing it, because he doesn’t see him on the other side anymore.

Confused, Luke turns back around, and that’s when Ashton abruptly pops up from underneath the water again. _Aha_ , a sneak attack! It’s not going to work, though, because Luke was prepared for whatever was going to be thrown his way.

Strangely enough, Ashton doesn’t attack immediately like he should have. Instead, he moves a bit closer to Luke, closing the small gap between them until they’re too close to splash now. Even more strange is that he still hasn’t said anything, opting to simply gaze into the wide blue eyes in front of him.

Luke gulps, and he isn’t sure why.

Ashton kisses his lips. Once.

It’s more of a chaste peck, quick and clean as if he’s testing the waters to see if Luke wants this—to see if Luke wants _him_.

And, really, Luke can’t think of anything he wants more.

He practically dives forward, bringing their mouths together again in a way that’s certain to reveal the desperation he’s felt for the past four weeks. Their wet lips slide against one another in a heated frenzy of kisses, rough but _sweet_ , and Luke can taste the sea salt on Ashton’s skin.

In all honesty, it’s the greatest thing he’s ever tasted.

Everything seems to be happening so fast and all at once, he’s not even sure what’s holding his head above the surface—probably Ashton—but it’s just so _intense_ and Luke almost feels like he’s drowning again.

This time, he isn’t afraid.


	7. Flowing with the Current

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is way too cute and sexy. Reader discretion is advised. (◠ω◠✿)

* * *

 

The race back up the hill to the beach house was an exciting one.

Luke’s lungs and thighs are still burning from the intensity of running so fast, while simultaneously giggling like a mad man. They’d chosen to go back to the beach house instead of Ashton’s apartment because it was closer, but it still took a bit of a journey to finally get there.

And what a comical journey it was.

Sure, the sight of two dudes giggling and running through the dark streets in their underwear is quite _unusual_ , but people should expect all sorts of weird shit to occur in the next twenty-four hours. It’s the first day of a brand new year and just about everyone is drunk as fuck, or _planned_ to get drunk as fuck; so Luke didn’t think twice about possibly being seen in such a state. In fact, he’s as happy as anyone can possibly be while running half-naked and barefoot in the sand, and then against pavement. It was almost like an adventure.

Every now and then, Ashton would catch up to him and they would stop to share a deep, desperate kiss before proceeding. They actually kept doing that along the way, maybe more often than was necessary, as if the lack of physical contact for more than a minute was too much for them to handle. It was ridiculous and lengthened the time that it should’ve taken to get to the beach house from the little pier, but they just couldn’t _help it_. They couldn’t stop giggling and kissing and touching and _yearning—_ it’s a miracle that they make it to their destination at all.

Another miracle was whoever came up with the brilliant idea of putting the key to the front door underneath the mat. Luke had wanted to carry it with him to the party, but he had a terrible habit of losing things and his friends had expected they would all be completely wasted by the end of the night. So, instead of stressing over who should be responsible for the key, they simply hid it underneath the doormat on the porch for whoever arrived home first.

Luke obviously hadn’t anticipated that it would be him, but _oh_ how the tables have turned.

“I beat you again,” Luke huffs out, still trying to catch his breath. Ashton shuts the door behind them and they’re standing in total darkness now.

Of course the race hadn’t been a serious one. They’d just wanted to hurry so that they could touch each other some more, preferably as soon as possible. But, Luke still boasts about reaching the house first, and whether or not Ashton let him win doesn’t matter.

“I, Luke Hemmings, remain the champion!” he chuckles breathlessly.

Ashton steps closer to him and even in the darkness his bright smile can be seen. “Yes, you do.”

There are three seconds that pass by in which everything seems to happen all at once. The first second, Ashton tosses the balled-up clothes in his arms to the side. A second later, Luke does the same. The third second comes and suddenly Luke feels his back hit the front door with a little thump, and he’s being pressed up against it with great strength. Ashton had surged forward, so fierce in the way he connects their mouths again that it almost hurts. Luke hadn’t had enough time to properly catch his breath, but he submits easily enough when Ashton’s broad chest is pressed against his own. And…

_Jesus fucking Christ._

Ashton is just so goddamn _intense_ in everything that he does—he’s mercilessly sucking on Luke’s bottom lip and using his tongue to play with the lip ring there. One of his big hands lightly tugs the still-damp hair on Luke’s head, while the other hand has a firm grip on one of his sharp hip bones. There’s no doubt in Luke’s mind that it’s going to leave a bruise—probably in the subtle shape of Ashton’s fingers—which is _exactly_ what he’s hoping for.

And, Luke wants to touch Ashton, too. He yearns to touch and squeeze and leave marks all over that gorgeously tan skin now that he finally can, but he seems to be… _stunned_ , almost frozen, in fact. Luke is absolutely dumbfounded that any of this is actually happening. Even though he’s imagined this moment, god knows how many times, he finds it hard to do anything but let Ashton take complete control over his body.

Ashton forces his tongue past Luke’s lips, and Luke just _takes_ it, a deep moan rising from his throat when their tongues come into contact. It’s hot, wet, sloppy and desperate as their tongues swirl together; experimentally at first, as if trying to find the perfect rhythm. Then, Ashton is licking into his mouth with such finesse and Luke _still can’t fucking breathe_ , he has to pull back for a moment unless he wants to faint.

So, he breaks the kiss when he has no choice, a thin string of saliva still connected between their swollen lips. It doesn’t seem to faze Ashton at all when they’re no longer playing tonsil hockey, because he easily moves on to the next task, which involves covering every inch of soft skin on Luke’s neck with kisses. Looks like there’s definitely going to be a huge ass bruise there, as well.

It takes a bit of effort, but once Luke has enough air in his lungs he manages to ask, “What made… what made you ch-change your mind?”

But, he almost regrets asking when Ashton stops nipping at the junction between his neck and shoulder, and the hand in his hair comes to rest at his other hip instead. Still, Luke really is curious. He wants to know why Ashton is suddenly allowing _this_ to happen between them, when over a week ago he’d confessed that doing such things with younger people made him uncomfortable. So, although Luke only wants to concentrate on the feeling of Ashton’s mouth against his skin and how fucking hard he already is, their conversation from that night won’t leave his mind.

He needs to know.

“I’ve been thinking a lot, lately. About what you said before,” Ashton slowly begins. He leans back, only a little, so that he can meet Luke’s gaze. “And, I really like hanging out with you, too… no matter what we do together. Plus, you think I’m sexy, I think you’re sexy—”

Luke chuckles at those words.

“—and as far as I’m concerned, that’s definitely a bonus. So, what the hell,” he shrugs with a smirk. “Summer doesn’t last forever, right? Why not just… flow with the current? Have a bit of mutual fun while we can?”

Luke supposes that it makes sense. There was only one more month left before he and his friends would leave Byron Bay for good. Four more weeks of harmless vacation time. Obviously, the best course of action would be to make the best of it.

Luke’s fingers slowly caress the skin over Ashton’s biceps and he chuckles again.

“Wanna know something silly?” he asks.

“Sure.”

“I thought—I thought that maybe you didn’t like me anymore?” Luke confesses. “Because, like, things have felt… _different_ between us, recently. And I, um, I didn’t know if…”

He trails off when he realizes that he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say, but Ashton nods in understanding.

“I’ve always liked you, Luke.” He slips a finger into the waistband of Luke’s boxers and gives a quick tug, letting it snap back against the skin there. With another smirk, he adds, “And I have a feeling that I'll like you even more, once you're naked.”

That’s all Luke needs to hear, to be honest.

He drapes his arms over Ashton’s shoulders and pulls him back into another kiss. This time when their lips connect, he doesn’t react like a stunned little thing that has no idea what to do. Luke fists his hands into the hair at the back of Ashton’s head—the famous curls aren’t in full effect since his hair is still very much damp like Luke’s, but it’s enough.

The honey-colored hair feels so _soft_ between Luke’s fingers, just like he’d always imagined it would, and he combs through the untangled mass. It must feel good, because Ashton moans softly into his mouth and squeezes Luke’s ass without warning. The sudden grip startles Luke and he gasps, unconsciously gripping Ashton’s hair even tighter.

 _Bedroom_.

They have to get to the bedroom. Like, right this instance. They should’ve been their ages ago, but whatever. As desperate as they both feel, they’ve still got time. They’ve got all night, to be exact.

Luke _really_ doesn’t want to break the kiss, though. He turns them around, their lips still stubbornly locked together, and begins to lead Ashton through the living room and down the hallway.

Backwards.

Which, unsurprisingly, looks _way_ easier when couples do it in the movies. But, this isn’t a movie and Luke is absolutely shit at walking backwards. It’s too dark and he’s trying to concentrate on where he’s going, but much of his focus is on how goddamn _amazing_ it feels to have Ashton’s tongue fucking into his mouth.

Can you really blame him for nearly tripping? _Twice_?

It was embarrassing as hell and made Ashton giggle until he couldn’t help it anymore, so he had to break the kiss anyway to finish laughing. Luke feels like a doofus, but he laughs along and takes Ashton’s hand within his own, leading them the rest of the way to the bedroom.

Forward, this time. It was only logical.

Once they’re in Luke’s bedroom with the door closed, the atmosphere feels very different. Not in a bad way, no—definitely not bad. Everything just begins to feel so much more _real_. It feels so real and final because, yes, this was _actually_ going to happen. They were actually going to have sex. It isn’t a dream or a fantasy, thank goodness, and every inch of Luke’s skin that’s being touched by Ashton feels like it’s on fire. He hadn’t really been nervous before, since he was so stunned by the realization that they were actually kissing. But now, as Ashton slides his hands _inside_ of Luke’s boxers to cup his ass again, Luke immediately freezes up.

He rests his forehead on Ashton’s shoulder because he just needs to _breathe_ for a second. Between the beating of his heart and the ringing in his ears, Luke isn’t sure which feeling is more overwhelming.

“What’s wrong?” Ashton whispers into his ear.

And, Luke _knows_ that Ashton won’t make fun of him, but the words are still a little hard to say.

“I-I’ve never actually…”

It doesn’t take long at all for Ashton to figure it out.

“…Had sex before?” he finishes when Luke stops.

Luke nods once, but keeps his forehead to Ashton’s shoulder. Admitting it wasn’t all that bad, and Luke _definitely_ isn’t having second thoughts about going through with this. No, not at all.

It’s just that they were going so fast and maybe his mind hasn’t processed it yet. There are goose bumps on his skin and he just wants this _so much_ , he wants it and he finally has it; it’s a bit overwhelming and _wow_ Ashton probably thinks he’s being a typical, nervous little virgin right about now.

But, all Ashton does is remove his hands from Luke’s boxers and repositions them on his hips again. Then he’s nudging at Luke until the younger boy lifts his head and they’re making eye contact. Only then does he speak.

“Do you want to?” Ashton asks, and it’s gentle, barely above a whisper.

Because Luke already knows what he wants, his answer comes immediately.

“Yes,” he whispers back. “I do.”

“Are you sure...?”

This time when Luke nods, he feels a little more confident. Ashton pecks his lips once, twice, and then a third time, each kiss a little more passionate than the previous one. Soon enough, they’re completely absorbed into one another again, but it’s much different from the rough, desperate way that they had been kissing each other up until this point. Now it’s slow and unhurried, yet still powerful in the way that it takes Luke’s breath away.

Earlier in the night, Luke had felt sour about not consuming enough alcohol. But, in this moment, he feels like he really is drunk and Ashton is the reason for it.

Ashton’s fingers slip into the waistband of his boxers again and when Luke doesn’t protest, he slowly pulls the material down to his thighs and lets them fall the rest of the way to the floor. Luke isn’t embarrassed about how hard he is despite the fact that Ashton hasn’t laid a single finger on his cock yet, but he’s hoping that that last part will change very soon. Luke also isn’t _too_ shy about letting his naked body be seen, but he does feel vulnerable—and it’s only fair that he gets to see Ashton’s now, too. He quickly reaches down and does the same that was done to him, letting Ashton’s boxer briefs fall onto the wooden floor.

Around three weeks ago, Luke concluded that Ashton had big _everything_ , from head to toe. He hadn’t been wrong about that.

 _I want to put my mouth around it_ , is the first thought that comes to Luke’s mind. The head of Ashton’s cock is pretty and pink and he’s glad for the moonlight shining through his bedroom window, letting him see everything. Luke licks his lips, already reaching out to grasp it. Before he can, however, Ashton takes his hand and leads him over to the bed.

“One step at a time,” he says with a soft smile, laying Luke down onto the mattress and climbing on top of him. But, he’s mostly just hovering, at first.

“…Don’t be a tease,” Luke mutters with a subtle pout.

Ashton’s seemingly innocent smile turns into a smirk and he suddenly leans down, clamping his mouth over the middle of Luke’s slender neck and begins to suck a deep bruise into the spot where his Adam’s apple is. The act was so abrupt that Luke couldn’t help the slight whimper that comes out of him.

“Not sure what you mean,” Ashton lies between his teeth—literally, since he’s nipping and licking the span of Luke’s neck and collarbones, leaving behind bite marks of various sizes.

All the while, Luke is slowly being reduced to a panting mess as he struggles to hold in the moans that inevitably escape his lips. He lifts his long legs from the mattress and wraps them around Ashton’s waist. The plan is to pull him down, bringing their bodies closer until there isn’t any part of them that remains disconnected. Luke wants to feel Ashton’s cock sliding against his own, wants to feel _something_ down there—but Ashton manages to stay in that hovering position despite Luke’s desperate tugging. They were so close to touching and yet they _weren’t_.

“You know… w-what I mean,” Luke grumbles, but then it turns into another whimper when Ashton’s hot, wet mouth latches onto one of his nipples.

Since his mouth is busy, Ashton only hums as a response and there’s something so _smug_ about it that makes Luke want to punch him. He also wants to kiss him and drag his tongue down his muscular body, then maybe have Ashton come on his face. Yeah, all of those things sound quite appealing right about now.

Ashton bites down onto his nipple—a little less than gently—causing Luke to arch up from the mattress and he mutters a slurred _‘fuck’_ , hands flying up to grip Ashton’s back. Since it’s only fair and because Ashton is still teasing him by touching him everywhere _except_ where Luke wants to be touched the most, Luke rakes his fingernails down the length of Ashton’s spine. He isn’t at all gentle about it, if Ashton’s low rumbling groan is anything to go by. In fact, it causes Ashton to falter a little, his hips lowering and consequently brushing their dicks together for a second.

Just that brief second of contact has Luke shamelessly moaning and he tries to pull Ashton closely again, desperate for the friction. Surprisingly, Ashton decides to give him what he wants at last. He lowers himself further, slotting their hips together—and Luke legitimately believes that the weight and warmth of Ashton’s naked body on top of his has to be the greatest feeling in the world. That is, until Ashton slowly begins to grind against him.

Luke immediately changes his mind. _This_ is the greatest feeling in the world.

“Someone’s eager,” Ashton comments, breathless.

It takes Luke a second to get what he means by that, since his mind is steadily melting from the growing pleasure of finally being touched. Basically, the ecstatic way in which he thrusts his hips up to meet Ashton’s slower movements could only be described as _tremendously eager_.

It couldn’t be helped, though. Who knew that simply rubbing dicks could feel _this_ good? Luke definitely hadn’t. His baby blue eyes are wide, chest rapidly expanding from the amount of heavy panting he’s doing—this sensation is unfamiliar and new and he wants to go faster, _harder_ , but Ashton continues moving his hips back and forth in that same slow-paced manner.

It was infuriating in the best kind of way. Just like the sight of Ashton biting down really hard on his bottom lip, attempting to control himself as well as the soft sounds that he was making. 

Luke wants to see him lose control.

“Kiss m-me…” Luke practically whines.

And Ashton does. His tongue trails over Luke’s lips and Luke obediently widens his mouth to accept it. This time it’s even more frantic and wet, their teeth clacking together and Luke licks the roof of Ashton’s mouth, the insides of his cheeks, and everything in between to commit it to memory. Somehow, Ashton manages to keep the steady rhythm of his hips despite Luke’s attempts to break it—which means that he’ll just have to try harder.

Luke’s hands trail further down Ashton’s back until he reaches the perky ass just below it. What he does next is gives both of the cheeks a solid squeeze, even tightening the grip when Ashton gasps with a curse; he leans up a little so that he can arch back into Luke’s hands, reveling in the rough contact.  

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ashton groans. With a wide grin, he asks, “…Are you an ass man, Luke?”

“Only if it’s yours,” Luke retorts with a huff.

Apparently, Ashton really likes that answer, because he giggles and reaches down between them, wrapping his big hand around both of their cocks and squeezing as he finally picks up the pace of his thrusts. Luke’s entire body trembles from the loud moan that arises from his throat, and he’s digging his nails into the soft skin of Ashton’s cheeks. With the tip of his thumb, Ashton spreads the precome leaking from both of their slits, making their cocks nice and slick so that they slide more easily together—it feels even better than simply grinding against one another and Luke’s eyes practically roll to the back of his head.

“This w-what you want…?” Ashton asks in a husky tone, his breathing getting heavier with each passing second.

Luke nods ecstatically, and he’s thrusting his own hips in time with the pumping of Ashton’s hand. He almost _hates_ just how good it feels, because he’s already getting close to coming and he really doesn’t want to, yet. Not now. Not when Ashton is making those cute but hypnotic sounds on top of him, his thrusts growing a little frantic to keep up with the pace of his own hand. It isn’t fair because Luke wants this to last forever, wants their sweaty bodies to merge into one, keeping that feeling of drunken ecstasy alive between them so that it never goes away.

Yeah, Luke wants all of that and _more_ and anything else that Ashton is willing to give him, because he’d take every bit of it in a heartbeat and without a second thought.

It’s an absolute tragedy that this extraordinary feeling won’t really last forever, all because of the stupid limitations of the human body. But, also because of the fact that this was Luke’s very first time doing anything like this—he isn’t used to such exhilaration caused by someone else touching him, and he couldn’t last no matter how badly he wants to.

“Close?” he hears Ashton ask, but it all sounds like white noise, right about now. Luke whimpers out a quiet _‘yes’_ because he really is about to come. God, he’s just so close and his skin is literally burning, he refuses to believe that this is almost over but he can’t help it and—

And Ashton stops thrusting all together, letting go of their slippery cocks and Luke thinks he’s actually about to start _crying_ , because what the actual fuck? Why did Ashton stop when it was feeling _so fucking good_ —and even though Luke hadn’t wanted to come yet, now he feels like a blazing flame that is being rained down on.

He doesn’t get a chance to question Ashton’s absurd decision to stop, however.

“I wanna suck you off,” Ashton declares. And somehow, he’s breathing even harder than Luke is. “Would you like that?”

Would Luke like having his dick sucked for the first time by a devastatingly gorgeous guy who also happens to be his crush?

There’s only one answer to that question, really.

“God, _yes_ ,” he groans instantly.

Ashton smiles and leans back down to kiss him. It’s a short kiss, though, because then he’s shifting further down the mattress until he’s situated himself between Luke’s legs. Luke’s skin is crawling with the anticipation that he feels, caused by what they’re about to do and from the way that Ashton is just _staring_ at his nether regions in fascination. But, instead of going straight for the prize, Ashton begins pressing a sweet trail of kisses along the soft skin of Luke’s inner thighs.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your legs?” Ashton asks between the kisses. When he lightly nips the skin, Luke whimpers again.

“Once or t-twice,” he stutters. Luke is used to people commenting on his legs, telling him that he looks like a giraffe or a man wearing stilts. He would laugh along because they were only jokes, but the couple of times that Ashton had commented on his legs had definitely been a form of subtle worship.

“They’re just… so _long_.” Ashton pauses to lick a stripe up the underside of one of his thighs. “Long and really fucking sexy, like a model’s. You could be a model, you know?”

All of the compliments and honesty was starting to drive Luke insane, if the lack of any contact on his dick wasn’t already doing that. And it’s ridiculous how flustered he is because there’s no way that he could ever be a model. Ashton’s the one who is strikingly beautiful, with his perfect features and toned muscles. Yet, here he is between Luke’s thighs, kissing him softly and leaving little bite marks wherever he could, telling Luke all of these things that will surely send him into cardiac arrest. It was getting to be way too much.

Luke needs to be relieved more than anything, right now.

“Ashton, _please_ ,” he cries out.

Ashton looks up and he’s _so_ _close_ to where Luke wants him that he can feel the hot breath against his skin, and it makes his dick twitch with excitement.

“Please, what?”

“Please, just—just d-do it, I need it—need _you_ , I need you…”

His blabbering probably sounds hysterical, but that’s how Luke feels in this precise moment. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait for much longer and the torture comes to an end when Ashton drags his tongue along the underside of his cock, this time. And just that alone makes Luke’s entire body shudder drastically.

One of Ashton’s hands come up to lightly stroke the shaft while he mouths at Luke’s balls, taking one in between his lips and sucking on it. Luke curses under his breath as his head falls back into the pillow, and at this point he’s lost the ability to even think—somewhere along the way his mind basically became this empty bubble that’s being rapidly filled with _AshtonAshtonAshton_ by the second. The feeling gets even worse when Ashton teases his slit with the tip of his tongue, and then he’s engulfing the head further into his mouth.

There’s nothing timid about it, either. Ashton gradually takes Luke’s cock into his wet mouth with such grace, it’s as if he’s done the act countless times and doesn’t need to be careful because he knows what he’s doing. If Luke had the ability to think at the moment, he _definitely_ wouldn’t want to think about Ashton with other guys, though. But, it doesn’t really matter much because at this point in time, Ashton is with _him_ and no one else.

Luke has a tight grip in Ashton’s curly hair, watching as those pink lips slide up and down his slick cock and it’s incredibly hypnotizing. With his toes curled and endless moans ripping past his lips, Luke desperately tries to keep his eyes open to view it all. It’s an extremely goddamn difficult to do, because the wet heat around him is almost unbearable.

“Feels good, huh?” Ashton asks when he’s come up for air.

To Luke’s ears, the question sounds like it’s come from far away. He thinks that he nods, since he obviously can’t muster up any actual words. But Ashton doesn’t seem to mind that Luke has forgotten the English language. He simply smiles and tightens the grip of his hand, then takes it into his mouth again.

This time Ashton goes all the way down to the base. His tongue swirls around the cock in a lazy motion, and he’s forced to hold Luke’s hips down to the mattress to keep the younger boy from jutting up and accidentally choking him. And Luke, even in his blissed out state, makes an effort not to do so, either. Ashton thinks it’s really sweet.

The heat within Luke’s tummy is building up again and he knows that this is it, he’s really going to come this time and he still doesn’t want to—it’s too fucking amazing and he doesn’t understand how anyone could _ever_ want this feeling to end—but his balls tighten, Ashton is still diligently bobbing his head, and Luke feels like he’s floating.

“Ash, I— _mh_ … c-coming…”

He tries to warn him, he really does, but Ashton ignores him and clamps his mouth even tighter, hollowing his cheeks—and within seconds Luke is coming down his throat with a sharp cry, fingers tangling themselves in Ashton’s curls. All that he sees is white, but he can still feel Ashton’s hot mouth around him, feels the way Ashton swallows every bit of him without hesitation, sucking him dry.

When Luke eventually lets go of his hair, Ashton pulls off with a wet _pop_ , his breathing ragged and there’s a bit of come on the corner of his mouth.

 _Fuck_. He’s so goddamn gorgeous. Even through fuzzy vision, Luke can see that plainly.

Ashton sits up and grasps his own neglected cock, desperately handling himself in quick strokes. His eyelids clench shut and his brows knit in concentration as he eagerly works toward his own orgasm.

Luke wants to be the cause of it.

With shaky arms, Luke slowly pushes himself up from the mattress. He still feels a little dizzy and hasn’t totally come down from his high, but his hands can function well enough to do what he’d imagined doing dozens upon dozens of times. So, he pushes Ashton’s hand away and begins stroking his cock for him, helping him reach the edge.

Ashton seems to like it well enough. His hands find their way into Luke’s hair and he frantically crashes their lips together in another sloppy kiss. Luke can taste himself on Ashton’s lips and inside of his mouth, and if that isn’t the hottest thing, he doesn’t know what is. Ashton moans into the kiss, his hips rutting up in time with Luke’s hand but he’s slowly losing control, his movements becoming jagged.

It’s exactly what Luke had been waiting for. He wants to see Ashton come undone, falling apart at his fingers and moaning his name when he finally reaches his orgasm. God, Luke desires that so fucking much—he strokes Ashton faster, rougher, and breaks the heavy kissing so that he can see his face when he comes.

Luke pulls back just enough, taking it all in: Ashton’s trembling lips, his furrowed brows, and the film of sweat forming on his forehead. Those little noises are still coming from the back of his throat and—and all of it combined is a million times better than _any_ sex dream that Luke has ever had.

Ashton opens his eyes and when their gazes lock, there’s this unfamiliar feeling that stirs in the pit of Luke’s stomach. As he’s staring into Ashton’s dilated pupils and listening to the way his breathing rapidly picks up, he thinks that the feeling is mutual. It’s a moment that lasts for a few seconds, but it feels particularly intimate and _lovely_ and it has nothing to do with the sex at all. It’s deeper than that, somehow, and… and Luke smiles at how light he feels in this moment.

Maybe it was the soft smile that sends Ashton over the edge, maybe it was the strangely intimate moment that occurred between them—or, perhaps it was both and everything in between; but regardless of the reason, Ashton’s loud groan is almost as intense as the orgasm that wrecks through his shaking body, hot spurts of come spewing all over Luke’s chest and tummy.

Luke gasps and his eyes widen in delight, then he’s having trouble deciding where to focus on the most: the breathtaking expression on Ashton’s face or the last drops of come that land just above his bellybutton.

In the end, Luke favors Ashton’s orgasm face.

He falls back into the soft mattress, pulling Ashton with him and then they’re just lying there for a while, breathing in each other’s air. It’s comfortably silent, and Luke remembers when Ashton had jokingly compared sex to surfing during their very first lesson. If successfully riding a big wave really is like having an orgasm, then Luke thinks it’s safe to say that he’d just rode the biggest one of his life, so far.  

Eventually, Ashton’s head slowly rises from where he had nuzzled into the crook of Luke’s neck. He’s wearing a dopey grin that perfectly displays his dimples and Luke wants to kiss him all over again.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Ashton murmurs.

As expected, Luke rolls his tired eyes. “Do you even have to ask?”

Ashton giggles and Luke gets his wish. The kiss is wonderfully slow and soft and Luke sighs into it, but unfortunately it doesn’t last long. For whatever reason, Ashton extracts himself from Luke’s arms and begins to get up from the mattress.

A sudden irrational panic takes over, and Luke grabs his wrist.

“Wha—where are you going?” he asks in a rushed whisper. He doesn’t even notice that his voice shakes a little when he says it.

Ashton is the one who looks most confused, however. “Bathroom? It’ll only take a sec.”

“Oh.”

Another second or two passes before Luke finally releases his wrist, though. Luke doesn’t know why he suddenly panicked at the prospect of Ashton leaving or why he feels this overwhelming clinginess towards him, but Ashton seems to get it. He leans down, pressing a longer kiss to Luke’s lips this time and when he eventually pulls back, Luke has already started breathing heavily again.

“Be right back, okay?” Ashton whispers against his sore mouth.

Luke nods, and then he’s gone.

The next thing that Luke is vaguely aware of is the sound of the creaking bedroom door being closed and footsteps moving towards the bed. Then, there’s a dip in the mattress as the weight of another body rejoins him. It was strange, because Luke definitely doesn’t remember dozing off after Ashton went to the bathroom, but he supposes that he must’ve been more exhausted than he realized.

“Asleep already?” Ashton murmurs, and then he chuckles softly.

Luke lazily blinks up at him and all of a sudden there’s the feeling of a damp warm cloth pressing into his bare skin. Ashton gently rubs the cloth over his body, cleaning him up and making him feel so warm and fuzzy. Most of all, it just makes Luke even sleepier. Although it feels really wonderful to be taken care of like this, he’s more than glad when Ashton tosses the little towel onto the floor and they cuddle up together underneath the sheets.

Then it’s Luke’s turn to nuzzle up against Ashton and he quickly drifts off to the land of unconsciousness, his head resting on Ashton’s chest and the sound of a steady heartbeat in his ear.

***

The repeated sound of ruffling eventually awakens Luke from his slumber. The first thing he notices is that the room is a light blue color, which means that it must be pretty early in the morning. The second (and more important) thing that he notices is a lump in the sheets next to him. Luke widens his tired eyes and glances up to find Ashton sitting back against the wooden headboard.

His heart begins wildly thumping against his chest and it’s a really great feeling, having Ashton be the first thing that he sees when he wakes up. There’s a thought in the back of his head that says he could get used to this.

A full minute goes by before Ashton finally notices that he’s awake, and he smiles down at Luke—which doesn’t do anything to help the wild thumping of his heart.

Luke returns the smile, though it’s shy in comparison.

“Hey,” Ashton says in a hushed tone.

 “Hey, yourself.” When a thought occurs to him, Luke asks, “Did the demon bird wake you up?”

Ashton raises a brow at those strange words and then he laughs. “The what?”

“There’s this seagull,” Luke begins to explain, “I’m pretty sure it’s always the same one… sometimes, it likes to scream near my window at shitty hours in the morning.”

Ashton’s little laugh turns into a cackle and he shakes his head. “Well, no—I seem to have been spared by the demonic seagull.” He then holds up the half-eaten orange in his hand. “I just got a little hungry.”

“Oh.”

“And, you know what I find appalling? You guys _still_ don’t have vegemite!” Ashton exclaims. “What’s up with that?”

Luke chuckles softly into the pillow. “Maybe if you stopped sneaking into the kitchen and eating it every time you came over, we’d still have some.”

“I do _not_ eat it sneakily—I ask first. Whatever, next time I spend the night, I expect to find vegemite in the morning so that I can make toast.”

Luke’s quiet chuckling comes to a halt upon hearing those words, and Ashton seems to pause, too, realizing what that sentence implies. It’s a really good implication, though, because Luke _wants_ there to be a next time. He wants to sleep with Ashton again. Literally and figuratively. He wants last night to be the first of many nights, in fact.

“By the way, is this okay?” Ashton suddenly asks.

“Hm?”

“You know, me still being here.”

When Luke finally understands what he means by that, he nods ecstatically. And, okay, so obviously Luke doesn’t know the ‘rules’ of hooking up with people—but, he _does_ know how incredibly shitty he would have felt upon waking up to find Ashton gone.

“Of course,” he answers, “I… want you to be? Yeah. I want you to be here.”

Ashton’s expression seems to soften, going from a slightly worried look to one of content. A few seconds of mutual gazing occurs, and then he’s leaning down to kiss Luke.

At the last possible millisecond, Luke leans away, pulling the sheets further up to cover half of his face. It was so sudden and completely random, there’s no wonder that Ashton looks utterly confused. But, the confusion on his face quickly turns into what appears to be _hurt_ , and Luke rushes to explain.

“No, it’s—I have morning breath,” he says, voice muffled against the fabric.

Thankfully, the slightly pained expression on Ashton’s face disappears.

“So? I have orange breath,” Ashton replies with a grin.

But, Luke merely rolls his eyes. “People actually _like_ oranges, though. I’ll… just go and brush my teeth, really quick.”

Before he even gets the chance to roll out of bed, Ashton grabs ahold of his wrist and Luke finds himself straddled at the waist in a matter of seconds.

“Nope. You’re not leaving until I get my kiss, Lukey.”

Ashton is smirking and wiggling his eyebrows, it’s kind of ridiculous and Luke squirms underneath him but to no avail.

“Seriously, Ash, just get off— _ah_!”

Suddenly Ashton starts mercilessly tickling Luke’s sides, causing him to squeal because it’s one of his most sensitive areas. And, Luke _hates_ being tickled. Absolutely hates it, because he sounds like a little piggy and people claim that it’s adorable.

Luke is _not_ adorable, okay. He’s punk rock, dammit. One day everyone will realize that.

When Ashton deems that he’s had enough, the tickling ceases at last. The cruel bastard laughs at Luke’s childish pout, and then he’s reaching over to grab the abandoned orange near the pillow. Instead of biting into it, he carefully peels off a slice and nudges it against Luke’s lips. It should be weird how, even though Luke isn’t really in the mood for orange slices, he doesn’t hesitate for a single second when Ashton tries feeding him. He parts his chapped lips, lets the piece of fruit slide between his teeth, and then obediently chews while Ashton watches intensely from above.

Luke may or may not be totally whipped.

Ashton feeds him another slice and Luke accepts it again, his Adam’s apple bobbing when he finally swallows it. A bit of juice from the orange drips down the side of his mouth and he’s about to wipe it away, but Ashton takes the opportunity to lean down and catch it with his tongue. The action elicits a sharp gasp from Luke, and he doesn’t even mind the smug expression on Ashton’s face when he leans back up a little.

“Can I have my kiss now...?” he asks.

Maybe Luke is a little too desperate in the way that he pulls him down to smash their lips together, but once again he finds it difficult to care at all. It’s a really nice kiss, too—deep and passionate but without the sloppiness of last night’s kissing, when they had been so eager to explore every inch of each other’s bodies as soon as possible.

If Luke has learned anything from their new level of intimacy, it’s that Ashton really does have a thing for piercings. Literally every time that their lips come into contact, it’s the first thing that he goes for. Not that Luke is complaining, because he most certainly isn’t. It’s still an interesting observation, though, and having his lip sucked on feels really fucking good.

They make out on the bed for quite a while, but all things must come to an end at some point. Surprisingly enough, Ashton is the one to break the kiss just when it was starting to heat up.

“I-I have to go soon…” he whispers against Luke’s lips, giving them one more peck. And then another. And another—obviously he isn’t even trying to leave.

It’s okay, though. Luke doesn’t want him to go, either. So if Ashton wants to procrastinate and continue kissing him, then so be it.

Another thirty seconds go by until Ashton breaks apart from the heavy kissing again.

“I’m serious,” he mutters. “I have to be on lifeguard duty in, like, an hour.”

Luke chuckles and kisses the tip of his nose. “I’m not even trying to stop you, though.”

Ashton scrunches up his nose and kisses both of Luke’s cheeks before replying. “And, I still have to get back to my place to change first.”

“…How come you’re still kissing me, then?”

This time Ashton pauses, his lips ceasing their movement across Luke’s jawline.

“I… don’t know? Oops,” he laughs.

Because it’s the logical thing to do and because he _knows_ he won’t stop kissing Luke at this rate, Ashton sits up fully and removes himself from the situation. But, sometimes Luke can be a little shit, and this was one of those times. He pulls Ashton back down and attaches their lips again—it’s mainly revenge for the tickling that he’d endured, but it also has a little bit to do with Luke’s general clinginess.

“ _Lucas_ ,” Ashton groans, and Luke senses a bit of fondness in that irritated tone. “You’ll make me late!”

Luke ignores him and asks, “When will I see you again? Will it be today?”

From the bizarre look that he receives, Luke can tell that Ashton was ready to say something rather unfavorable. But, then it appears that his mind has been changed, and he momentarily stops struggling against the younger boy’s long limbs that were trapping him there.

“Lunch,” Ashton declares at last. “Have lunch with me.”

A slow smirk forms on Luke’s lips and in a mocking tone he replies, “Is that a demand, _Irwie_?”

Of course Ashton recognizes the quote as his own. So he retorts with, “Yes, actually. It is. _Have lunch with me_.”

His tone comes off sounding so controlling and _bossy_. It’s actually really sexy and reminds Luke of the time he had watched Ashton lead those drills at the beach. Satisfied with that answer, he lets him go—but not without one last kiss, of course. Ashton doesn’t complain about that part, either.

“Okay. Lunch date it is, then.”

***

After Ashton leaves, Luke finds that he’s unable to go back to sleep—which isn’t a problem, anyway, because he’s too excited for their little lunch date, later on. He spends the rest of the morning with a smile on his face and feeling like he’s on cloud nine. In fact, Luke is so fucking chirpy that he even _washes his clothes_. Which, to be honest, should’ve been done a while ago. But Luke really hates doing laundry.

The happiness is almost enough to make him clean his room, but that would be going a little too far. Instead, he picks up a few things and gets distracted—or, rather, _purposely_ distracts himself by playing a bit of guitar. He’s singing loudly and he probably looks like a huge dork, grinning and playing music in his underwear since he hadn’t gotten dressed after his shower. But he manages to successfully pass the time by, and before long, there’s only twenty minutes until Ashton has his lunch break.

Luke is carefully lathering a piece of bread with mayonnaise when he hears the front door open and shut again. As predicted, Calum waltz into the kitchen a few seconds later.

“Were you out all night?” Luke questions him, only briefly glancing over his shoulder before returning to the very important task at hand.

“No, mother. I actually spent the night in a _very_ comfortable bed, for your information.”

Luke rolls his eyes at the sarcasm and he doesn’t even need to turn around to catch Calum’s suggestive winking. Whatever, he doesn’t actually want to know the details of his best friend’s sexual adventures, anyway. Besides, it’s not as if Luke didn’t have his own to speak of, now.

Calum approaches the kitchen counter and stands next to Luke for a second, and then he sighs with relief.

“Wow, thanks man. I was really hungry,” he says, making a grab for one of the completed sandwiches that Luke had worked so hard on. Obviously it’s not for him, and he yelps when Luke slaps his hand away.

“No touching. That’s for Ashton.”

Calum crosses his arms and pouts. “Really? How come you make _him_ a sandwich but not me?”

“That’s because you’re not fucking him.”

Both of the startled boys turn around to find Michael strolling into the kitchen to join them. He’s wearing a _knowing_ smirk even as he stretches with a yawn.

Luke pretends that he hadn’t heard those words and returns to frantically making the second sandwich.

And of course Calum doesn’t let it go. Not even for a second.

“Is he joking?” he asks, turning back to Luke. “Tell me he’s joking.”

When Luke’s only response is to remain silent with a bright red blush on his face, Calum gasps dramatically and begins shaking his shoulders until Luke has to forcefully shove him off.

“Holy shit, you did? Oh my god, you _really_ did it—and it’s about fucking time, too!”

That’s when Luke whirls around to glare at his other friend suspiciously.

“How d-do you even know?”

Michael doesn’t answer immediately, just takes his sweet time searching through the refrigerator for something to eat for breakfast. Well, brunch, in his case.

“Oh come on, Luke. You have a hickey the size of New Zealand,” he says at last, that stupid smirk still on his face. “Also, I may have been… like, ninety percent drunk when I came back late last night, but I can still recognize clothing items that have been thrown around the room as if a tornado had passed through there.”

“I’m so proud of you, Luke! You’re a man now,” Calum interrupts. He’s pretending to cry hysterically as he squeezes Luke into a hug. “Oh god, Mikey, our baby has grown up so fast…”

If Luke rolls his eyes one more time they’re definitely going to fall out of his head. And, he’ll forever deny the fact that he’s trying not to laugh right now. It almost can’t be helped—he still feels so chirpy.

“Screw you guys,” he mutters weakly.

He’s never regretted saying something as quickly as he did now, when Michael quips, “Like you screwed Ashton?”

Instead of succumbing to the teasing, Luke attempts to ignore it all while he packs the food into a bag. He really wishes that they had some sort of lunchbox or, better yet, a picnic basket. Or, would that be too weird? Ashton might think that he was trying too hard, and Luke doesn’t want that. This is a casual thing so everything has to be casual about it, not over or underdone.

Calum hops up to sit on the counter and happily swings his legs. When he speaks, it’s in an annoyingly high-pitched voice. “Girl, you _have_ to give us the juicy deets!”

Michael doesn’t hesitate to join in on the excess teasing. “Come on, spill it!”

“Okay, I am _not_ describing to you how Ashton and I had sex.”

“That’s not fair,” Calum whines. “I told you guys about _my_ first time.”

“Yeah, but voluntarily, since I never actually asked you to.”

Once he’s made sure that everything is _perfect_ , Luke grabs the bag and practically runs out of the kitchen to try and escape the nuisances. The blanket that he needs is hanging along the back of the couch, so he grabs that too and heads for the front door. Of course he doesn’t make it out of there before hearing Michael’s shout.

“At least tell us how big he is!”

***

Earlier in the day, Luke had received a text from Ashton that held the information of which beach he was currently patrolling and where they would meet up. So, that’s where Luke is headed now, picnic gear in hand and butterflies filling his tummy. There’s nothing to be nervous about, so he has no idea why he is—and it’s actually silly how he feels even _more_ self-conscious around Ashton now, despite the fact that the guy literally had his mouth around Luke’s dick just a handful of hours ago.

But, he refuses to let the irrational nervousness ruin their lunch date. That’s for sure.

By the time Luke comes upon the lifeguard tower that he was looking for, the hunger in his stomach pretty much overshadows the nervousness, which is better than nothing. From a distance he sees Ashton standing in the sand next to the tower, talking to another lifeguard— probably the one who was filling in for him during his lunch break. A third guard is situated at the top of the tower, fiddling with what looks like a pair of binoculars.

Luke is not necessarily _shy_ , per se; well, maybe you can call it that, but it only ever occurs around strangers—which just so happens to be right now, when he’s approaching the tower and Ashton is enthusiastically waving at him. It’s not as if the other two people made Luke uncomfortable with their curious glances, but it does have something to do with them being lifeguards. For some reason, lifeguards seemed so intimidating and on a totally different level than Luke.

However, he obviously doesn’t feel that way about Ashton anymore.

“Hey there,” Ashton says, still smiling as he walks forward a few steps to meet Luke when he approaches.

“Hey.”

Ashton points down to Luke’s side. “What’s in the bag?”

“Oh, um…”

Of course the nervousness is back in full force, choosing this precise moment to try and fuck things up. But, Luke pushes through it with great confidence.

“I made sandwiches,” he answers after clearing his throat. Then he raises the bag with nonchalance. “There’s also some fruit and water… I figured, you know, maybe we could have some sort of picnic instead of buying fast food? I remember you saying a few days ago that you wanted to cut back on that stuff a bit.”

“Are you calling me fat, Luke?”

Luke’s mouth drops open and he hastily shakes his head, stuttering out, “No, no—not at all! I-I was just, um—”

Ashton laughs aloud and waves a hand to show that he was only joking.

“It’s fine, Luke, don’t worry.” He tilts his head to the side, still amused. “A picnic sounds awesome! And, I can’t believe you remembered that, since even _I_ forgot about it… it’s really sweet of you.”

Ashton closes the small gap between them and suddenly he’s kissing Luke. Not a chaste peck or a sweet little kiss—no, he’s full-on _kissing_ Luke, tongue and all. It comes as a complete surprise and Luke isn’t sure at first if he should reciprocate, because they aren’t exactly _alone_ at the moment. He can’t really tell since Ashton is currently absorbing his face, but the other two lifeguards might’ve been staring and that kind of… makes him feel weird.

None of it matters for long, because Ashton pulls back with a satisfied grin, apparently not even caring who had seen that intense exchange. Like, he literally does not give a fuck.

“Come on,” he says, taking Luke’s other hand into his own. “I know where we can set up and eat.”

Not wanting to seem rude, Luke gives a little nod to the other lifeguards before he’s dragged off to god-knows-where. They merely smile in return, shaking their heads.

As a result, Ashton takes him back to the little pier. It looks a bit different in the daytime, still damaged but without the haunted vibes. This time they don’t walk on top of it and Luke is relieved. There’s a lot of shade underneath the pier to shelter them from the relentless sunshine, so Ashton spreads out the blanket in the dry part of the sand while Luke watches. In no time at all, they’re comfortably sitting next to each other and beginning their little ‘date’.

“It’s just ham and cheese,” Luke explains when Ashton picks up his own sandwich. “I didn’t know what else you’d want on it, or if you’d want anything at all… so, I left it like that. But, I packed some lettuce and sliced tomato in case you actually do want it.”

Ashton nods, impressed. “Wow. You’re on point today, aren’t you?” he giggles, but he sounds sincere when he says, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

A sense of pride swells up in Luke’s stomach and he smiles to himself, happily biting into his own delicious sandwich.

Overall, it’s a pleasant lunch date. They alternate between chatting and eating, and Ashton repeatedly tries to feed Luke some of the grapes he’d brought for them. That morning with the orange slices had been okay, but now Luke is sure that Ashton just wants to tease him. Unless, like, he has some sort of kink for feeding people? If that were the case, then Luke would _totally_ be down for that. No doubt about it.

Ashton is telling him some story about a drunken encounter with a jellyfish that he’d had the year before, and Luke has no idea how they came to such a topic but it’s incredibly entertaining and he finds himself laughing to the point of nearly choking on his water.

“Basically,” Ashton concludes, “no matter how pretty they are, don’t fuck around with jellyfish! You’ll either die or wish that you were dead ‘cause of how much pain you’ll be in.”

Luke nods seriously. “Thanks for the advice, I’ll keep it in mind.”

They share another laugh and everything just feels so _pleasant_ between them. Luke takes in the familiar crinkles by Ashton’s eyes when he laughs, and wonders how it’s only been a month when it feels like so much longer. Four weeks ago, he had no idea who the curly-headed, bright-eyed guy was, yet now it was so natural to have him around all the time. Luke couldn’t imagine how his vacation would’ve been like so far, had he decided not to text Ashton that first time.

And, what a stupid mistake that would have been.

“Hey, Ash?”

Ashton hums to show that he’s listening while he cleans up the little bit of trash from their meal, putting it all back into the bag.

“Um… I just wanted to thank you for last night and stuff,” Luke begins, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “It was really fun and… and amazing.”

Ashton instantly turns to him and he looks surprised but also amused, in an odd sort of way.

“Oh. You’re very welcome for the blowjob, Luke,” he says with a playful wink.

Despite all that’s occurred between them, Luke still blushes and stares down at his lap while chewing on his lip to keep from grinning so much.

“Okay, although I was referring to everything, not just the sex part. But, like… we should definitely do it again, sometime soon.”

Ashton’s teasing little grin transitions into a soft smile. “Yes, we should,” he says, leaning closer to Luke until their shoulders are touching. “Really soon.”

That’s when Ashton kisses him, soft and sweet because his lips taste like the grapes that he’d just eaten. Luke sighs into it and he’s never felt more comfortable. This is something that he can also get used to—kissing Ashton and _being_ kissed by Ashton whenever and wherever. Their lips just fit so nicely together, and Luke tries not to seem so cliché but he dares to think that they fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

Yeah, that’s definitely a cliché thought, but picnics on the beach and making out under piers are basically in the same category.

Unexpectedly, Ashton pushes Luke so that he’s lying on his back against the blanket, and then straddles the younger boy’s hips. He looks proud, smiling at his successful attempt; not that Luke had even objected to the sudden change in positions, though. In fact, he really likes having Ashton on top of him—yet another thing that he could get used to.

Ashton leans down and catches his lips again, and it’s a little rougher but still sweet. Luke wraps his arms around Ashton’s neck and pulls him closer, if that’s even possible, considering how they’re basically already tangled up with one another. He giggles at first from the slight tickling sensation when Ashton’s hands slide up the inside of his shirt, caressing his soft skin—but then those fingers lightly pinch one of his nipples and Luke pretty much squeaks in surprise. Only now does he fully realize what Ashton had in mind, when he had answered with ‘really soon’.

“Here?” Luke whispers, eyes blown wide. “But, what if… what if someone sees?”

Ashton looks unconcerned, for the most part. Both of his thumbs graze over Luke’s skin in slow circular motions, earning him a relaxed sigh. He doesn’t ignore the question, though.

“Don’t worry, hardly anyone ever comes over here. I promise.”

Even so, he doesn’t go back to kissing Luke, instead waiting until he’s given confirmation that this was okay. Meanwhile, Luke’s entire body is tingling with excitement and subtle nervousness at the idea of doing such a thing in public. Sure, no one is around which means that they’re totally alone—just like they had been the night before, when Ashton had kissed him for the first time. But, they are by no means invisible, either.

Then again, if someone were to suddenly approach, the position that they’re in allows the two of them to be able to spot the person before they got close enough to see anything.

Also…

Luke can’t deny that he’s been _craving_ Ashton’s touch from the very moment he’d woken up that morning.

“Okay.”

He pulls Ashton closer again, pressing eager little kisses all over his face and making him giggle. There’s still that bit of anxiousness in Luke’s veins, but right now, he feels like he’s living on the edge—and isn’t that what summer vacation is all about? He senses the adrenaline running through his body as Ashton slowly grinds down against him, and really, things couldn’t get any better than this.

Sighing with content, Luke lets his head fall back against the blanket and he glances down when he feels Ashton undoing the button of his jeans.

“There’s about fifteen minutes left of my break,” Ashton says with a smirk. “I bet I can make you come in ten?”

Honestly? That’s definitely a bet that Luke is willing to make.

***

The sun had set only moments ago, yet the delightful breeze makes it feel as if it’s much later into the evening.

The atmosphere around them is filled with New Year joy and drunken singing, and Luke feels unbelievably sleepy but satisfied. He thinks that the first day of the brand new year was a short one, but it also felt kind of long, in a way? Whatever, he’s tired and a little buzzed from the second beer he’s been idly sipping every now and then, so of course it doesn’t make much sense. Regardless, Luke is happy and he feels as if this year will be a gracious one.

A few hours earlier, Ashton had told them about this little bonfire thing that was going on, down at one of the beaches. The details are a little hazy, but apparently it’s an annual thing where people get together at the end of the first day of the year, and there’s singing and drinking and more singing that takes place around the fire. Sometimes instead of singing, people just sit around and tell stories or watch the flames in mutual silence. The latter part is kind of what Luke and his friends are doing right now—well, if not for Michael’s loud singing while he strums his guitar to some random tune. Obviously _some_ people are more intoxicated than others.

It’s peaceful, though. That’s for sure. The heat of the fire feels absolutely divine against Luke’s skin, which is almost weird when considering how hot the afternoon had been just a few hours before. But, now the temperature is perfect. Everything is perfect. So perfect and amazing.

 _Wow_.

Luke realizes that he’s had enough alcohol for now, so he hands the near-empty bottle to Ashton, who accepts it with a smile and takes a swig. Unsurprisingly, the two of them are sitting together, sharing one of the blankets in front of the fire. In fact, when they’d first arrived there and everything had been set up, Luke had snuggled up to Ashton’s side and he hasn’t moved since. Neither of them complained about it, either.

Aside from the four of them, there are a few other people that had joined their bonfire, too. Some appeared to be acquaintances of Ashton’s, others were strangers. Everyone is kind of in their own little world, though, so Luke isn’t paying any attention to them—he simply sits there, enjoying the warmth and the music and the coziness of leaning against someone that he really likes.

“Thank you, Sydney!” Michael shouts when he’s finished whatever the hell he’d been playing. “You guys were really, really fucking awesome!”

“Mikey, you’re not in Sydney anymore,” Ashton chuckles, and everyone else around the fire joins in, even the drunken guitarist.

“Oh yeah,” Michael giggles, and then he forgets about it instantly. “Who wants to hear me play another song? Everyone? Cool, I’d be glad to!”

In truth, no one had actually spoken up, although they weren’t really given any chance to. But, they didn’t actually mind, anyway. Michael is having fun and it’s amusing to watch, so no one put in any effort to try to stop him from doing so.

Except for Calum.

“You just played, like, three songs in a row!” Calum whines from where he’s sitting on his own blanket. “It’s my turn, now.”

“Shhh, Calum, _shhh_ ,” Michael urges him. “I’ve just got one more song, I promise! It’s the greatest one yet.”

Suddenly he’s pointing a drunken finger over in Luke’s direction, and with a delightful grin he announces, “This next one is dedicated to my bestest best, _best_ friend Luke!”

“Oh god,” Luke groans, but chuckles shortly after. He’s way too exhausted to protest, so he simply nuzzles into Ashton’s shoulder and prepares for the worst.

Michael seems offended. “C’mon, it’s not that bad! And I know I give you a lot of shit sometimes, but like—but it’s okay because we love each other and you’re one of the nicest, most caring, nicest... fuck—you know all of that already.”

Luke laughs again and thanks him for the drunken compliments, but he knows that it’s sincere so he makes sure to listen as Michael strums the first chords.

“Happy New Year, man—and congrats on finally getting laid!”

Well then.

It’s not as bad as it _could_ be, Luke figures, trying to think on the bright side. But, the mention still makes him cringe a little and he hides his blushing face against Ashton’s shoulder—who was laughing, nonetheless! What a traitorous bastard.

The ‘bright side’ turns darker when he hears the song that Michael had chosen to sing for him. The drunken fool was slurring the lyrics to ‘ _I Just Had Sex_ ’ when Calum—who was slightly less drunk—starts booing and demanding to be given a turn with the instrument to showcase his amazing skills.

Thankfully, they eventually calm down enough to the point where it’s almost peaceful again. Just almost. Luke’s half-lidded eyes gaze into the dancing flames before him, sending him into a trance-like state until he’s startled awake by Michael’s voice again.

“What’s everyone’s, like, New Year’s revolution?”

“…You mean _resolution_?” Luke offers.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just tell me yours. Like, what are you going to do differently this year that you failed to do last year?”

Luke takes a moment to think, but he honestly has no idea what to answer with. Aside from hoping that he makes it through the year alive, there isn’t anything specific that he would like to accomplish. Maybe become more outspoken? _Meh_. That probably doesn’t really count, and it wasn’t as if he was super quiet, anyway. Sometimes he felt like being a loud, annoying teenager and other times he didn’t. But, other than his slight awkwardness, there isn’t much he would like to change about himself.

“Um… I don’t know yet,” he says at last.

“Well _that’s_ intriguing,” Michael scoffs sarcastically. “Think of something and I’ll get back to you—Ashton! What about you? C’mon, don’t let me down.”

Ashton hums a bit and answers with complete seriousness. “I’m going to spend even more time in the ocean and consume many pineapples.”

Luke laughs but Michael groans, rolling over on his and Calum’s blanket to face them with a frown.

“It has to be something challenging!” he exclaims. “Not something you basically already do, every single day of your life.”

“Fine!” Ashton laughs. “I’ll try to commit less murder. Is that fascinating enough?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do,” Calum suddenly pipes up, his voice a little muffled by the fact that his face is buried in the blanket. “I’m gonna find better friends who actually share things with me.”

Michael rolls back over to the other side, lying halfway on top of the pouting boy next to him. “Stop crying already, I gave you the guitar, didn’t I?”

“Only after I didn’t want it anymore, because you don’t love me as much as you say you do.”

“That’s not true and you know it!”

Michael shifts so that his entire body is on top of Calum’s, which is hardly an usual position for them even when they’re sober. Aside from Luke and Ashton, no one else around the fire pays any attention to them, not that they even care.

“You’re squishing me!” Calum whines again, but he’s laughing now, too.

“Yeah—but I’m squishing you with _love_ , you see. So it’s a good thing.”

“That’s way too cute,” Luke comments, once his best friends were emerged in some sort of drunken cuddle.

Michael lifts his head just enough to glare at him. “You’re one to talk.”

Okay, so he most certainly has a point there, and Luke isn’t about to deny it. He’s warm and comfy next to Ashton, and that’s basically all that matters to him at the moment. Maybe it’s a little risky and he’ll be seen as even more clingy, but Luke smirks back at his friend and then proceeds to bury his face in the crook of Ashton’s neck, anyway.

If Ashton is bothered by the abundance of affection, he doesn’t show it. Instead he lets Luke do whatever, hardly paying any mind to the younger boy and directs his attention over to Michael.

“You haven’t told us _your_ resolution, by the way. What is it?” Ashton questions.

“I’m glad you asked, because mine is the most challenging one yet!” Michael temporarily untangles himself from Calum and sits up, a dramatic pause following those words before he answers the question. “I pledge to give up using hair dye.”

The wide eyes that stare at him in disbelief along with the simultaneous gasping makes Michael quickly rephrase his statement. “Not _completely_ , of course—I mean I’m going to limit the dye usage. Like… once every few months, maybe.”

“Is that even possible for you?” Luke laughs, and maybe it’s a little mean to do so, but he finds this proposition hard to believe.

Calum chimes in next. “I say you’ll last two more weeks before you want to change your hair again, and then one month until you totally give up this whole idea.”

 “Wow, guys. Thanks for supporting me and my decisions, I’m so happy to have you,” Michael scoffs, folding his arms across his chest.

“Oh, you two—show a bit of faith in Mikey!” Ashton says, and he gives Michael a reassuring thumbs-up. “I’m sure you can do it, just imagine how much healthier your hair will be and the satisfaction of boasting when the year ends.”

“See, why can’t you guys be more like Ashton? He’s cool _and_ supportive. Plus, he has curly hair! That counts for something,” Michael says. “’Least now I know whose team I’m on in case there’s an apocalypse.”

Calum shakes his head and mock-whispers, “Okay, but I _highly_ doubt Luke’s going to give him up to you any time soon.”

Michael glances over in their direction and snorts, then whispers back to Calum in that same non-discreet tone, “That’s true. Maybe when he isn’t looking I’ll do a sneak attack?”

Consequently, Luke stops paying attention to the silly conversation between his friends and resumes gazing into the fire. It’s especially beautiful because it’s at that time in the evening where the sun is completely hidden behind the hills, and the sky is transitioning from light colors to a deeper shade of blue. Soon enough, the vibrant stars will be perfectly visible from where they sat on the beach. The peacefulness of it all nearly has Luke dozing off again, until he hears Ashton whisper into his ear.

“Tired?”

Luke lets out a small yawn, nodding. “It’s your fault.”

“ _My_ fault?” Ashton laughs at the accusation, prompting Luke to lean up a little so that they make eye contact. “Tell me, Lukey. What did I do to make you tired?”

“You know what you did,” Luke grumbles, but it’s hard not to smile when Ashton is grinning at him with that knowing look.

Aside from what they had done the night before, there had also been that handjob Luke received under the pier, as well as the unexpected _thing_ in Luke’s room that happened just an hour or so ago. Everyone was getting ready to go down to the bonfire while Ashton was helping Luke search for his phone, which for some reason had been kicked under the bed. Of course Ashton teased him about the panicked state he’d been in while looking for it, then they were joking and laughing and somehow Luke had Ashton pressed against the bedroom door and they were hastily rutting against each other, trying to get off before it was time to go.

Okay, so that last one is definitely _Luke’s_ fault then, but Ashton only seemed to encourage it.

“Is this your way of filing a complaint?” Ashton asks, quirking his brow in an almost challenging manner.

Luke meets his gaze with the same amount of confidence. “Not at all.”

“Good.” Ashton leans closer until their faces are mere inches from one another, and if Luke inclines his neck just a little, their lips would meet.

Just when he thinks it will happen, Ashton murmurs, “You’ll just have to get used to it,” and he kisses the tip of Luke’s nose instead.

Ashton is being a tease now, pressing kisses on Luke’s forehead, cheeks, and his chin whilst knowing that Luke just wants their tongues dancing together in a heated kiss. Luke makes a small whining sound and he’s about to grab those curly locks and _force_ their lips together, but unfortunately their little game is interrupted.

“I have to pee!” Michael announces after jumping up from his blanket. It’s not a good idea since he’s still intoxicated, but he regains his balance without much trouble. “Who would like to volunteer as tribute and escort me to the toilet?”

Immediately after asking, Michael points over to Ashton with a wide grin, apparently already knowing who he wants. “Ash! Thanks for volunteering, you’re so brave—now come on.”

Luke turns to find Ashton smiling back at Michael and he answers with an exasperated sigh, “Alright, fine.”

Evidently, Luke is the only one who’s actually confused here.

Before Ashton stands, he gently kisses Luke’s lips and whispers, “I’ll be back soon, ‘kay?”

So, Luke nods and watches as Ashton joins Michael’s side.

“Walk with me, talk with me,” Michael says, wrapping an arm around Ashton’s shoulders. As they’re walking away from the bonfire, he leans in to whisper something into Ashton’s ear, making the curly-haired guy giggle aloud.

Luke is left without a leaning post and his main source of warmth, the fire notwithstanding. Plus, he’s still relatively sleepy, which leaves him sulking until Calum crawls over onto his blanket and Luke has someone to lean on again. It’s not so bad after that.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Luke asks him.

Michael and Ashton can still be seen in the distance, but only just.

“You, probably.”

That sparks Luke’s curiosity and he frowns a bit. “Me? What did I do?”

Calum chuckles and shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“So why would they be talking about me, then?” When his friend only hums, Luke pokes him in the gut and demands an answer. “C’mon, I know you know _something_.”

Calum laughs again and attempts to ignore Luke and the poking, but he’s totally weak when it comes to denying Luke anything if the pouting lip is in effect. Right now, Luke is using that to his advantage until he breaks his friend’s resolve.

“We’re just looking out for you, that’s all,” Calum says at last. He gives a little shrug and elaborates. “I mean, obviously I know that Ashton’s a really cool guy, and so does Mikey—he’s just being a little overprotective, I think.”

That still doesn’t make enough sense for Luke, so he says nothing and waits until Calum finishes.

“He probably thinks he’s making sure that Ashton is good enough for you, since you’re together now.”

That last statement has Luke’s eyes going wider than the moon, and he leans up from Calum’s shoulder to face him completely. Maybe the slightly panicked stuttering is evidence that goes against everything he says, but that’s not what’s important.

“Wait, what? But, we’re not—Ashton and I aren’t ‘together’ like that?” Luke fumbles to explain, shaking his head. And it’s really not that big of a deal, but his mind sure is making it out to be. “No, no, it’s just… we’re just hooking up and stuff. It’s… mutual fun. Yeah—that was the plan, right…?”

Calum is staring at him in a way that makes Luke a little worried, because he really dislikes that look. But then his friend slowly nods.

“Um… yeah, yeah that’s what I meant.”

“Oh...”

The silence that follows is a little awkward, for some reason—and Luke doesn’t resume their mild cuddling, instead pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them. As he stares into the fire again, he wonders why he sort of freaked out a little when he could’ve just simply corrected Calum. But, at the same time, he supposes he could see why anyone would think that he and Ashton _were_ together—like, together-together. In an official relationship and whatnot.

Admittedly, they were more affectionate than the average hook-ups. That’s only because they’re friends, though—and maybe it has a little to do with Luke’s crush on Ashton. Anyway, they’re friends who find each other quite appealing, and so they do sex things and kiss a lot. To Luke, that seems more fun than simply hooking up and forgetting each other until they feel like having sex again. He knows that that method is what’s typical for hook-ups and there’s nothing wrong with it, it just wouldn’t work for him personally.

Besides, the bonus that comes with being friends is that they can just hang out and have a laugh whenever they don’t feel like doing sex things. Even then, there could still be some kissing in the mix. So, really, there isn’t a single con to what they’re doing. Right?

Despite all of this, Luke doesn’t know why he suddenly feels a little guilty.


	8. Summer Lovin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm unsure of what I wanted to say right here, aside from enjoy the chapter... so enjoy the chapter, I suppose. ♥

* * *

 

They can’t seem to keep their hands off each other.

Luke idly swings his legs back and forth in the water, the anxious feeling in his tummy and the adrenaline in his veins making him sweat more than the unforgiving sunlight. By now, he’s done this same routine plenty of times—and failed every single attempt. He’s tired of failing and he’s tired of feeling like he’s letting Ashton down.

Of course Ashton only praises his determination, gives him a couple of tips, and then tells him to try again. And Luke fails again. It’s frustrating and he _knows_ he has to be getting on Ashton’s nerves, even if the guy doesn’t show it. That has to be the case, because Luke is even getting on his _own_ nerves.

“What are you feeling right now?”

Luke stops staring at the droplets of water on his forearm and turns his head to look at Ashton, who is situated only a few feet away on his own surfboard. God, he looks really fucking sexy like this: wet hair pushed back from his forehead, the water making it look straight and darker than it actually is. His wet torso is a big distraction, just like the droplet of water that slithers down his neck and travels to his chest.

Luke finds it hard to believe that he has the honor of _tasting_ that. Tasting and touching and this really isn’t the time for such thoughts.

“I feel… water against my skin,” he finally says. “It’s wet water. Very wet and kind of cold. Soaking wet water, I guess.”

Ashton laughs aloud and splashes him. “Okay, smartass. I meant how do _you_ feel, personally? Which emotions are strongest at the moment?”

The naughty little grin on Luke’s face subsides and he hums, putting great consideration into his answer.

“I suppose I feel excited? Yeah… excited, energized, some other word that starts with ‘e’… and nervous. I feel nervous, most of all.”

“Aw.” Ashton flashes him a warm smile. “Don’t be nervous, surfer boy. Just remember everything I’ve taught you—I know you can do this.”

“But, what if I don’t?”

Ashton shrugs. “Then you don’t… _until_ you try again. That’s the key to learning anything, isn’t it? You weren’t born with the ability to rock out on the guitar, you practiced it. Same goes for riding a bike and surfing. You _will_ do this, Luke.”

Even though the anxiousness doesn’t disappear from his gut, those words actually do make Luke feel a little more confident. But, it goes without saying that Ashton always had this way of making Luke feel good—in more ways than one, as a matter of fact.

“Also,” Ashton continues, “if you at least try, I’ll give you a kiss for effort. If you _succeed_ … how about a blowjob?”

Okay, so Luke’s willingness to do this has basically just skyrocketed to the heavens above. This is definitely one terms and conditions that he’ll pay absolute attention to.

“But if you don’t try at all, you get nothing,” Ashton finishes with a smirk. “Sound fair?”

Luke licks his chapped lips and nods to show that he understands. “Fair enough.”

“Good. Now go get ‘em, tiger!”

Luke chuckles to himself and waits a few more seconds, focusing on the feeling of the ocean beneath him. He’s caught waves before, and thanks to Ashton he now recognizes how they feel and which ones to go for. The step that he’s having trouble with is actually _surfing_ them. As in, whenever he catches the wave and stands up, he eventually falls back down a couple of seconds later, sometimes immediately. He thinks that balance should’ve been his strongest point, given how tall he is, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

All of a sudden there’s a particular movement in the water that Luke was waiting for, and he lies down on his belly to begin paddling for it. This is more or less the easy part, since he’s gotten so used to it. He keeps in mind that Ashton is watching him, just like he usually is—but this time there are important things at stake here, and those things were _sex_ things that Luke couldn’t get enough. So, obviously he needs to try harder.

Luke paddles and paddles until he finally catches the wave, and then it’s smooth sailing from then on. His heart is racing in his chest because the moment is quickly approaching, the moment when the wave breaks enough for him to stand up and ride it. Luke tells himself that he is going to _own_ this wave because it’s _his_ , okay. It’s his wave, he’s the master and he gracefully performs the pop-up method when the time is right.

His feet land on the board where they’re supposed to be—so far so good. But now it’s all up to him to keep balance, and his legs already threaten to start wobbling at any moment. Luke can’t control how the wave decides to move, but he can control himself, so he focuses on keeping his stance strong and intact. Lo and behold, he’s actually doing it.

_Luke is legitimately surfing the wave._

And it’s in this remarkable moment that he can _finally_ relate to how Ashton describes the feeling of successfully riding a wave. With a wide smile on his face, Luke feels completely free and weightless as the breeze sprays a bit of water in his face. He’s laughing now, too, because he almost can’t believe it. He’s really surfing and it’s so much fun, no wonder Ashton practically never leaves the ocean!

Eventually, the wave dies down as it brings Luke to the shoreline and it’s kind of sad, because now he has to say goodbye to his very first _real_ wave. Mostly, however, he’s just really fucking happy. What’s even better is that Ashton is waiting for him straight ahead, jumping up and down with the biggest smile on his beautiful face.

“You did it, Luke! You did it!” he shouts happily.

Luke hops off the board when it comes to a halt and threatens to make him fall at last. The first thing that he does is reach down to undo the ankle leash. Once that’s taken care of, he does what he’s been wanting to do since… well, since _always_.

“You’re a true surfer now, Lukey, and—”

Luke shuts him up by smashing their lips together. It’s instantly hot and rough and at first Ashton is too shocked to reciprocate, but then he pulls Luke even closer with his warm palms pressed into the younger boy’s back. Luke has his hands fisted into Ashton’s wet curls and he doesn’t care who sees their embrace. Seriously, the entire beach could be watching them and Luke still wouldn’t give less of a damn, right about now.

All that matters is Ashton’s wonderful touch and their bodies pressed closely together.

After some time, Luke pulls away just enough to breathe against Ashton’s mouth. He smirks when he sees those wide hazel eyes staring back at him, looking a little dazed from the surprisingly intense kiss.

“I think we had a deal?” Luke murmurs.

The mischievous smile that slowly forms on Ashton’s lips looks promising.

They come to a mutual agreement that the beach house isn’t close enough for their urgency and the public restrooms near the beach are too disgusting; so Ashton leads them to another one of his ‘secret headquarters’ or whatever. To get there, they have to walk across these sharp rocks that vary in sizes and neither of them are wearing shoes, so it’s a bit risky.

Not to mention how giggly Luke is right now, still under the influence of the adrenaline rush from surfing his first wave as well as the excitement of what they’re about to do. So, it’s difficult not to trip over the rocks and break an ankle or his entire face; and if he doesn’t break anything he’ll surely cut his foot open, which isn’t any better. He follows closely behind Ashton’s footsteps to make sure that none of that happens.

Thankfully, they make it across the rocks without any injuries and come to a small opening at the bottom of a cliff. There’s more water than sand, so it’s not exactly ideal for hanging out. But, that’s not what they came to do, anyway.

Luke now realizes why this was a favorite spot of Ashton’s. There’s a gap in the side of the cliff that opens into a beach cave, though it’s not much of one. It’s more like a hole in the wall that’s too big to be nothing, but not _deep_ enough to be a cave. Basically, if you didn’t know what a real beach cave looked like, then this one wouldn’t seem so small.

It’s in a nice position, however. The only way that anyone would be able to see them is if they purposely traveled across the rocks to get over to the small area. Not to say that that wouldn’t happen, because tourists did all sorts of crazy shit out of curiosity, whether they cared about getting hurt or not. Luckily, no one is around right now so this is _their_ spot.

Regardless, Ashton cautiously checks around to make sure that no one is nearby. People were sneaky like that, sometimes. When the coast is clear, he turns back to Luke and winks.

A split second later, Luke has his back pressed against the wall of the ‘cave’ and Ashton is attacking his neck with hungry kisses. Aside from the lip ring, that seems to be Ashton’s other favorite part of Luke’s body. He seems to _really_ enjoy sucking on the skin of Luke’s neck just as much as he likes sucking on the lip ring.

It’s a wonderful feeling and Luke sighs into it, his mind already slipping into the blissful state of having Ashton’s hot mouth against his skin.

“You were really fucking sexy out there,” Ashton mumbles in between the kisses. “Like, just watching you surf that wave… it really turned me on, maybe even more than it should’ve.”

He presses a trail of wet kisses up the line of Luke’s neck until he reaches the earlobe, which he lightly nibbles on. It elicits a sharp gasp from the younger boy and Ashton chuckles.

“If sex while surfing was physically possible, I’d want to do that with you, Luke.”

“Oh my god,” Luke laughs, but he couldn’t help it! That wild confession is definitely something he never thought he’d hear, especially coming from Ashton.

“I’m serious,” Ashton says, pulling away just a little. He smiles at Luke and brushes a wet strand of blonde hair from his forehead. “You’re really hot, okay, and I can’t help but think of doing all sorts of wicked things to you.”

The grin on Luke’s face turns a little bashful, but he accepts the compliments and presses a sweet kiss to Ashton’s lips.

“I’m glad I make you feel that way,” he whispers.

Ashton smirks. “Good, because you’re the first person I’ve ever thought about fucking on a surfboard.”

With that, Ashton kneels down in front of Luke until his knees are pressed into the wet sand. He wastes no time at all, already mouthing at Luke’s cock through the tight fabric of the short wetsuit he’d forced Luke to wear that day, since they had to spend a long period of time in the water. It squeezes way more than Luke’s skinny jeans and proved to be a lot harder to put on, so he wonders how the hell they’re going to get it off, now.

Suddenly, a recurring idea pops into Luke’s head that he really wants to go through with, if Ashton will let him.

“Wait,” he urges.

Ashton glances up at him in confusion, a look that deepens when Luke pulls him back into a standing position.

“I was thinking that I could do you this time?” Luke explains, switching their positions so that Ashton is leaning with his back pressed against the rocky wall. “I really want to…”

The confusion on Ashton’s face is replaced by an intrigued look, so evidently it sounds like a marvelous idea to him. The gleam in his wide, excited eyes only proves it further.

“Be my guest,” he answers with ease.

Luke takes that as a signal to put his money where his mouth is—or, in a literal sense, he should get to work on sucking Ashton’s dick. He doesn’t want to keep the guy waiting so he kneels down into the sand, taking a few seconds to get comfortable since he’s going to be in that position for a while. Of course, it all depends on how good of a job he does.

So Luke doesn’t waste any time, either. He tugs Ashton’s swimming trunks down to those perfect little thighs, his blue eyes widening with fascination when the half-hard cock is visible right in front of his face. Then he just sort of… stares at it.

It’s only been a few days since they started doing _these_ kinds of things with each other, but throughout that short amount of time, Ashton had pretty much always been the one in charge. Up until this point, Luke had just gone with it because it was fun and felt unbelievably good to have someone make him come. But, this situation is a little different.

Basically, Luke freezes up because he’s never given a blowjob before. _Obviously_ he knows where to put his mouth, but if it were that simple, people wouldn’t make weird jokes about gagging reflexes and such. He’s feeling a little nervous again which totally sucks, and he finds himself glancing up at Ashton for help.

Ashton recognizes the worry in his eyes and gives him a reassuring smile.

“Just take your time and do whatever you want,” he says. “I’ll, um—I’ll let you know if it feels good or not.”

Those directions weren’t as specific as Luke had hoped for, but it basically means that he should just experiment and go with what feels right. That seems easy enough, so Luke decides to start by simply _tasting_ first and getting familiar with it. He reaches up to grip the base of Ashton’s cock with his hand and angles it how he wants, then proceeds to slowly drag his tongue along the underside. Even though they’re gentle kitten licks, the contact has Ashton letting out a deep sigh.

“Yeah, that—that’s nice…” he murmurs with content, but then he suddenly giggles. “Kind of tickles, actually.”

Not exactly the reaction that Luke had been hoping for, so he changes his method and slowly pumps with his hand while he mouths around the shaft. It proves to be a good plan, because Ashton’s breath hitches in his throat and Luke can feel the cock beginning to fully harden in his palm. He keeps at it for a bit, alternating between open mouthed kisses and teasing licks around the head. Apparently the latter feels especially good, and he listens as Ashton’s breathing picks up until he’s making those soft little noises again.

Luke _loves_ those noises, if it wasn’t obvious enough already. He loves the little moans and wants to hear them as often as possible, which is no doubt one of the reasons that he just couldn’t stop touching Ashton, now that he could. Ashton couldn’t stop touching him either, so it works both ways.

Deciding that he’s ready, Luke takes the head in between his pink lips and into his mouth. Ashton curses under his breath when he feels the wet heat around him and Luke takes that as a sign to go further. Only, he gets way ahead of himself and takes it in too fast because he’s even more excited now, and it surprises him when Ashton yelps.

“ _Teeth_ , less t-teeth—!”

In a panic, Luke pulls back and ceases touching him altogether, terribly afraid that he’s hurt Ashton.

“I’m sorry!” he sputters out, embarrassed but still gazing up at Ashton’s face to find any signs of pain. “Sorry…”

Ashton’s eyes are wide but he doesn’t look as if he’s _dying_ , so that’s good. Luke still feels really fucking bad, though; even when Ashton chuckles breathlessly and shakes his head to show that he’s alright.

“It’s okay, you’re doing fine—just… keep that in mind, yeah? I love sharks, but not _that_ much,” he jokes.

Luke smiles a little but he’s still inwardly berating himself for messing up, because it should’ve been an easily avoidable mistake. After all, he has a dick, too! He should’ve been more cautious since he’s able to relate to how sharp things and manly bits just don’t mix.

A gentle hand presses into the damp hair at the top of Luke’s head and he looks up to find Ashton grinning at him.

“Practice makes perfect, right?”

Luke believes the expression to be true. He decides to try again so he leans forward, widening his mouth to fit around Ashton’s cock. Ashton keeps his hand in Luke’s hair, guiding him down the shaft again but at a much slower pace than before. Somehow it’s actually better like this, Luke thinks, and he makes sure not to accidentally bite down again. It’s an effort to relax his jaw because his mouth isn’t used to such a thing, but this is practice and they make it work.

Soon enough, Luke’s mouth is filled with dick but he hasn’t reached the base and he _wants_ to go the rest of the way, but Ashton is holding his head in place.

“Don’t get too excited, now… you’ll ch-choke yourself,” Ashton warns, and he’s breathing heavily again to the point where his voice shakes a little as he speaks. “Just—just use your hand for the part that y-you can’t reach.”

Luke does as he’s instructed and wraps his hand around it again—only then does Ashton loosen his grip, allowing Luke to move his head to and fro and he pumps his hand in time with the slow movements of his mouth. The steady carefulness of his actions aren’t done in vain because this time he’s rewarded with a much louder moan from Ashton.

“ _Fuck_ —you’re so… so good,” Ashton groans, lightly tugging the strands of blonde hair between his fingers. The hair-pulling feels almost as good as Ashton tastes, and Luke starts to get overexcited again. “Easy now… there, that’s it, j-just like that— _god_ , you’re so amazing, Lukey… s-such a good boy for me.”

As Luke continues bobbing his head along the slick cock, Ashton repeatedly blabbers out random compliments and praises, letting Luke know just how great his mouth felt and telling him that he was a good boy. Luke thinks being called that should make him feel weird, but it doesn’t. Instead, every single word shoots a bolt of electricity straight down to his crotch and he damns the wetsuit for preventing him from shoving a hand down his pants.

He’s breathing hard through his nose and his jaw is starting to ache, but he doesn’t consider stopping for a single second. Luke _wants_ Ashton to praise him and call him a good boy; he wants to make him proud and it feels so fucking good to hear those words. In fact, he might even have a kink for it, one that he’s never explored prior to this moment. If anything, the subtle ache pushes him to gain momentum.

Luke moans around Ashton’s dick because he _knows_ how good the vibrations feel against the sensitive skin—Ashton has done the same thing to him, after all. And now Ashton isn’t even trying to contain any of the loud sounds that pour from his lips, and it’s absolutely wonderful. Luke is constantly in awe by how Ashton’s soft little noises always amplify when he’s close to orgasm. If anyone were nearby they might’ve been able to hear the moans over the crashing of the ocean waves, but the two of them have long since stopped caring about getting caught.

When Luke glances up he’s met with the gorgeous sight of Ashton’s face. He has his bottom lip in between his teeth, biting down on it without mercy and Luke wonders if it will bleed. His brows are tightly knit together and the droplets of water on his forehead could either be sweat or from their dip in the sea, but it doesn’t matter. Ashton is _glowing_ —quite literally, because of the sunlight reflecting off the surface of the ocean and hitting the cave as well as Ashton’s face. His raw expression makes him look as if he were enveloped into a bubble of pure bliss.

The best part is that it’s all because of Luke. Luke is making Ashton feel good, he’s the reason for that beautiful expression on Ashton’s face and the noises hailing from his throat. Ashton’s incoherent muttering and the occasional curses are all because of what Luke is doing with his mouth, and _goddamn_ does it feel amazing to know that. If it’s greedy to want to be the only one to see Ashton in this state and to always be the cause of it, then Luke is the greediest boy in all of Australia. He wouldn’t be ashamed to admit it, either.

Ashton’s grip tightens in his hair and it’s almost painful, but it also feels pretty fucking amazing. The head of his cock is hitting the back of Luke’s throat and Luke tries hard to stay relaxed, he really does; but he can taste the precome as it seeps onto his tongue and it’s involuntary when he swallows, _hard_. Consequently, the action has Ashton unexpectedly coming down his throat with a surprised gasp—Luke’s eyes clench shut and he tries to swallow as much as he can, but it’s too much and he’s forced to pull off as the rest of the hot come shoots onto his face.

Desperate to be relieved as well, Luke reaches down to his own crotch and squeezes his swollen dick through the fabric of the wetsuit. All that it takes is a few seconds of pressure against the area before Luke is coming with a loud whimper and his whole body trembles from the pleasure of it.

Once his mind has become a little clearer, Luke tries to stand up. His attempt is futile because his legs feel like they’re made of lead and he can hardly move them. It’s fine, though, because Ashton sinks down into the sand and rests his forehead on Luke’s shoulder, his breathing still a little ragged. Both of them are exhausted, but even more so, they’re satisfied.

After a moment of leaning silently against each other, Ashton raises his head and faces Luke with a happy little smile.

“You… didn’t have to swallow that, you know,” is the first thing that he says.

Luke merely shrugs. The semen didn’t taste as bad as he thought it would, but it definitely wasn’t a sugary sweet treat, either. If not for Ashton’s relatively healthy diet and his frequent consumption of various fruits, it probably would’ve been much worse. So, Luke didn’t mind it all that much.

“Just repaying the favor, I guess?” Luke says, because hey, Ashton had swallowed _his_ before without a single complaint.

That makes Ashton chirp with laughter and he fondly shakes his head.

“God, Luke, you’re so… so…” He pauses then, a look of admiration on his face as he searches for the right word. “You’re indescribable.”

Ashton lifts his hand, using a thumb to wipe away the come that had landed on Luke’s cheek, as well as the small bit that dribbled onto his chin. Then he nudges the finger against Luke’s swollen lips until the younger boy opens his mouth to accept it. Luke stares into Ashton’s wide eyes as he licks the come from his thumb, and then proceeds to suck on the finger in a teasing manner.

Apparently it’s a little too much to handle, because Ashton removes the finger after just a few seconds and eagerly connects their lips instead, dead set on sucking the breath out of Luke’s lungs. And Luke gives him what he wants, lets Ashton shove his tongue into his mouth and anything else that will please him. Pleasing Ashton seems to have become a great desire of his, somehow.

“You know something?” Ashton whispers, sometime after finally breaking the kiss. “I think you might even suck dick better than you surf.”

Well now, that’s just plain _rude_.

Luke frowns at those words, and he’s offended because he likes to think that his surfing skills have greatly improved over the weeks, okay. Like, he just surfed his first wave today. It wasn’t a huge wave, but it’s still progress. So how dare the curly-headed jerk say such a thing!

“I _swear_ that’s meant to be a compliment!” Ashton giggles, and he kisses the frown from Luke’s face. “You did wonderful today, I’m proud of you—and yes, I’m referring to the surfing. Not just your first blowjob.”

Luke huffs but accepts it nonetheless. Instead of bickering over his ability to use his mouth, he’d much rather immerse himself in more important things, like twirling his fingers in the curls that were blooming in Ashton’s hair. See, the wonderful thing about having this particular type of curly hair is that when it starts to dry, little ringlets form all over. Right now, Ashton’s head looks like a mess of swirly-swirls that are pretty entertaining when Luke tugs them and they bounce back into place.

Unfortunately his entertainment is put to an end when Ashton reminds him that there’s somewhere they need to be, really soon.

“Come on, we should probably get going. Mikey and Cal will chew us out if we’re late,” Ashton says, kissing Luke once more before standing up and straightening himself out. He helps Luke up from the sand and straightens him out a little, too.

“So let them,” Luke replies. He suddenly presses Ashton back against the wall and proceeds to kiss him again. Ashton lets the kiss go on for a few seconds, but then he pushes Luke away with a chuckle and a smirk.

“Down boy—there’s plenty of time for that later,” he says. “But a promise is a promise, and they’re waiting for us. So let’s go get cleaned up.”

With a pout, Luke obediently follows behind Ashton as they leave the secret little spot. And yeah, he’s a good boy, but that doesn’t stop him from sneakily pinching Ashton on the ass before they’re out in the open again.

“I hope that ‘later’ is a promise, too.” 

*** 

The persistent swaying of the little boat makes Luke grateful that he doesn’t get seasick easily. Instead he stands with his hands clenching the railing, enjoying the cool breeze against his face and the smell of the ocean in his nostrils. It feels so _vacationy_ , if that’s even a word. Like, if Luke closes his eyes he can pretend that he’s a super-rich kid on an expensive cruise ship in the Caribbean. He doesn’t do that, though, because this is way better.

The boat begins to turn as they come around the cliff that marks the easternmost point of Australia, and Luke glances up to see the lighthouse at the very top. It looks small from so far away, and he wonders what it will look like when he’s standing right in front of it. That’s something he really _wants_ to do but hasn’t yet, and he lets Ashton know.

“What do you mean you haven’t been to Cape Byron yet? You’ve been here for a little over a month now!” Ashton exclaims in disbelief. He was standing next to Luke while the other two boys sat together on the little bench behind them.

Luke shrugs, feigning innocence. “There just… hasn’t been any time?”

“That’s bullshit. You three lazy boys hardly did _anything_ before I came along.”

“And now you drag us with you almost everywhere you go,” Calum comments. “Like a dedicated father.”

Michael snorts and shakes his head. “I think he’s more like our shared drug dealer—but instead, he gets us into free shit using his lifeguard privilege, like this boat ride!”

“For the last time, this is just a _one-time_ thing! You make it sound so illegal,” Ashton chuckles. “It has nothing to do with me being a lifeguard, either. Donny is my buddy so he doesn’t mind taking us out for a little ride—right Donny?”

The driver gives Ashton a brief thumbs-up from his position in front of the steering wheel, and then goes back to silently doing his job. Donny is an older man of very few words, but he was kind enough to take them out into the ocean with the little boat. The small vehicle is large enough to fit about nine people at one time, including the driver. Regardless, it did its job of carrying them across the surface, and best of all, the ride was free. Otherwise, they couldn’t have gone since the normal boat trips were a little expensive.

Or, maybe they were just cheap.

“How about this,” Ashton goes on to say, “I’ll make it my mission to take you to Cape Byron before the summer is up, alright?”

Luke grins, nodding enthusiastically. “Promise?”

Suddenly Ashton reaches for Luke’s hand and holds it up, linking their pinky fingers together to make it more ‘official’.

“I _pinky_ promise,” he says, smiling back at the blonde boy.

“Sounds awesome, when can we go?” Calum asks.

But Ashton quickly replies with, “No, no, no—just me and Luke.”

The four of them break out laughing, but Luke has a feeling that Ashton had meant it.

There’s another minute of comfortable silence and simply enjoying the backdrop of the endless ocean, but it’s interrupted when Michael is suddenly shouting.

“Dolphins!”

Everyone—except the driver, of course—charges over to the side of the boat where Michael had apparently spotted them. Sure enough, a pod of bottlenose dolphins were traveling in the same direction as the little boat just a few yards away. Luke’s mouth falls open in awe, and he tries to count them but it’s a little difficult to do when everything is moving. There are at least fifteen of the beautiful mammals, that’s for sure.

“Ashton, quick! Use your dolphin-whispering skills and call them over. I want to pet one!” Michael shouts.

Ashton has to choke back a laugh. “My _what_? When have I ever mentioned being a dolphin whisperer?”

“Seriously? What kind of lifeguard doesn’t speak dolphin? I’ve gotta say, I’m very unimpressed,” Michael says, a look of mock disgust on his face.

“Me too,” Calum smirks, and joins in on the teasing. “I had high hopes for you, Ash.”

Luke hardly pays any attention to the conversation between his friends when they begin bickering about what human languages animals would speak if they _could_ speak them. With a smile on his face, his gaze is fixed on the repetition of dolphins jumping in and out of the water as they swam. It’s kind of hypnotizing, and he only averts his attention to ask Ashton a question.

“Hey, do you think we’ll see a whale?”

Ashton hums in thought for a moment before sadly shaking his head. “Doubt it. Whale season starts somewhere around early June, I think, and ends in November. Between then is the perfect time to go whale watching.”

Admittedly, it’s a bit of a disappointment, but Luke nods in understanding and turns his attention back to the dolphins. A second later he feels Ashton’s chin on his shoulder and a hand resting on his right hip. Luke more or less unconsciously leans into the touch, his back feeling a little warmer when Ashton’s chest is pressed against it. It’s relaxing enough to make Luke sigh in content, and he’d stand like this forever if he could.

“They’re really amazing, aren’t they?” Ashton whispers behind his ear. It tickles a little.

“Mhmm,” Luke agrees.

“And like, I’m pretty sure they’re way smarter than me, but they’re my favorite animal anyway.”

This time Luke frowns and he turns his head to see Ashton’s face a bit.

“I thought sharks were your favorite, though.”

Ashton chuckles at that. “What? I can’t have two favorites?”

“Absolutely not,” Luke deadpans. “It’s not a favorite if you like something else just as much. That’s, like, the whole point of having faves. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Oh. So you just reinforce them?”

“Yup.”

Ashton snorts. The hand that’s rested on Luke’s hip slides up a bit until it’s just underneath his shirt. Ashton’s fingers almost feel hot against the soft skin of Luke’s waist, and when they start gently caressing the area, Luke has to bite his lip to keep from letting out a small moan from the little bit of contact. It’s kind of weird how, even when Ashton just barely touches him, it’s still enough to get Luke a tad bit excited.

When Ashton speaks into his neck this time, it’s with that same teasing tone that Luke has come to love and hate at the same time.

“Okay, but what if I said that my two favorite things to ride are surfboards and boys named Luke Hemmings?” he says, fingers trailing so lightly along Luke’s side that it tickles. “Would the rule still apply?”

Those teasing words shoot straight down to Luke’s dick and he gulps, glancing around the boat because it’s not as if Ashton had whispered it; so he wonders if the others had heard, since the ocean was relatively peaceful today and wouldn’t drown out their voices. Fortunately, Calum and Michael are deeply absorbed into their own conversation, pointing at the dolphins that still swam nearby. Luke doubts that Donny had heard the exchange, but even if he had, he probably wouldn’t have said anything.

Luke twists around until they’re facing each other and leans back against the railing. Ashton adjusts to the new position by placing both of his hands on either side of Luke, gripping the railing and, ultimately, trapping the younger boy in the middle. Although, it’s not really a ‘trap’ since Luke really doesn’t mind having those arms by his side, nor does he mind the minimal space between them.

Ashton raises a brow, still waiting for an answer, and Luke licks his lips.

“It depends,” he says at last, deciding to participate in this little game of theirs.

“On what?”

“Well, you’ve already proven that you’re pretty fucking sick at riding surfboards, but…” Luke pauses and gives a long hum, loving the look of impatience on Ashton’s face right now. “But, you haven’t _actually_ proven your ability to ride m—”

“Hey, blondie and curly,” Michael interrupts all of a sudden. “Stop harassing each other over there and listen up! The dolphins are gone now and we’re hungry as fuck, so whaddaya say we go and get a late lunch?”

Calum nudges the loud-mouthed boy to the side to give them his very important input.

“Will you guys _please_ tell Mikey that we’re not getting pizza?”

“Shut up, you _love_ pizza,” Michael scoffs.

“That’s not what I’m in the mood for, though! Today feels like a day for gourmet sandwiches or seafood. Yeah, I want seafood.”

Michael gasps dramatically and puts a hand to his chest in shock. “Seafood? After watching all of those gorgeous dolphins? You monster!”

Before another petty argument breaks out, Ashton laughs and waves a hand to get their attention.

“Sorry guys, wherever you decide on eating is up to you. I won’t be able to join, anyway.”

“Why not?” Luke instantly asks. The disappointment could be heard in his voice, which he hopes doesn’t sound annoying or clingy. Maybe Ashton doesn’t mind it, though, because he simply turns back to Luke with an apologetic smile.

“Just a staff meeting. You know, lifeguard shit. It doesn’t start for a couple more hours, but I promised to get there early to help out a bit.”

Luke is still pouting but he tries not to let it show. After all, Ashton spends basically every single free hour of his day with Luke and his friends, so it’s not as if they hardly get to hang out. It’s quite the opposite, actually. Plus, this was something that Ashton _had_ to do because it was his job. Luke should probably feel bad for always following him around, never wondering if Ashton wanted time alone or to be with his lifeguard buddies instead of three teenage boys.

Maybe Luke should also feel bad for being so selfish, but he doesn’t. Not because he’s an inconsiderate asshole or anything, but because it never seemed like Ashton wanted to be anywhere else.

Especially right now.

“Well, that’s okay,” Calum says. “You could join us tomorrow. Maybe we could all… go to the movies or something?”

Michael makes a sound that obviously means it’s a no-go. “Ah, tomorrow’s no good. Well, tomorrow _night_ isn’t. I’ve got a date and stuff.”

No matter how casually he tried to let that specific detail be known, it obviously doesn’t work because the other three boys stare at him like a bunch of vultures. Since Michael knows that he’s about to enter a game of Twenty-One Questions, he takes a seat on the bench again and expects it when Calum plops down next to him.

“Since when the _hell_ do you have a date?” Calum asks in an incredulous tone, and he begins the interrogation process. “Who with? Lindsey? I bet it’s Lindsey. You’re going on a date with Lindsey, aren’t you!”

Michael only rolls his eyes. “Well aren’t _you_ bright. Yes, I’m going on a date with Lindsey. No, you’re not allowed to come.”

Calum _tsks_ and playfully punches him in the arm. “I wasn’t going to ask that, dipshit. But what kind of date is it?”

“A casual date, duh?”

“No, no, no,” Calum sighs, but then he’s smirking. “I meant is it a date where you just hang out and have fun? Or, like… you hang out and have fun, but you both know that you’re gonna fuck later on?”

Michael covers his face with his hands, not only trying to hide the fact that he wants to laugh but also the fact that his face is going red. “Oh my god, just fuck off!”

“So where are you going on your date, anyway?” Luke asks, once it’s his turn to take over the interrogation.

“Eh,” Michael shrugs, “just dinner and whatever else we decide seems like fun. Most likely we’re gonna, um… go back to her place and play video games. It’s cool because she likes hanging out by doing nothing in particular, just like me.”

“Wow. That’s amazing,” Calum says with blatant sarcasm.

Ashton chuckles and takes the few short steps over to the bench, sitting down on Michael’s other side and wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“Mikey, my dear boy,” he begins, purposely deepening his voice to sound really old. “Have I ever told you about the birds, the bees, and their best friend Mr. Condom?”

Michael only sniggers at the teasing and gives Ashton a knowing look. “No. But isn’t there a certain someone that you should be giving that talk to, instead? Or, are you simply _showing_ him?”

And, okay, so that was a pretty good comeback, especially since it’s true. It’s true and they all know it, so Calum giggles and Luke looks elsewhere, trying not to grin while also hoping that no one notices his blush. Ashton, on the other hand, smirks at those words and gives Michael a wink, totally unashamed. In fact, he looks _proud_ that they knew he and Luke were having sex, almost as if it was some sort of accomplishment to boast about.

Luke suddenly takes in the fact that everyone is sitting except for him, which is fine because he has two perfectly functioning legs and doesn’t mind standing. There’s plenty of room to stand, after all, whereas the little bench has absolutely zero room left since the other three are occupying it. But, it doesn’t stay that way for long, because apparently Ashton has the ability to read minds.

“Lukey,” Ashton calls over to him. When he has Luke’s attention, he smiles and pats his thigh.

At first, Luke just squints his eyes, confused until he recognizes the rather obvious gesture.

Ashton wants Luke to sit in his lap.

“It’s okay, I can stand,” he says. And, it’s not like he’s embarrassed to sit in Ashton’s lap or anything. They’ve cuddled more than once now, not to mention Luke has been sitting in Michael’s and Calum’s laps since they became best friends a few years ago. Plus, he and Ashton frequently touched dicks, so there’s that. Sitting on him wouldn’t be _too_ much different.

Except it kind of is, for some reason?

“I didn’t ask if you could stand or not,” Ashton snorts, “I want you to sit in my lap. Now c’mere.”

Luke feels his blush rising. “Ashton, I’m bigger than you—”

“And? I’m older than you. Tell me something new.”

It’s safe to say that Luke hardly expects it at all when Ashton reaches out and grabs his wrist, tugging him closer; thus, the younger boy loses his balance and more or less stumbles into Ashton’s lap, where two arms slither around his waist, holding him there. To be honest, Luke finds himself laughing through his exasperation.

“So _stubborn_ ,” he mumbles with a grin. After a short pause, he bites his lip and asks, “Am I heavy?”

Ashton may have had more muscle mass, but Luke is taller and broader—at least, the upper half of his body is. His lower half is rather lanky, compared to Ashton’s glorious thighs. Still, he feels a little awkward and hopes that he isn’t _crushing_ the guy, for god’s sake.

But Ashton merely shakes his head and pulls Luke closer. “Not at all.”

Somehow, one of his hands is already beneath Luke’s shirt again, though not in the teasing way that it had been before. This time he rubs soft circular motions into the skin of Luke’s hip, just above the line where his jeans begin. Luke absolutely melts into it and he’s sighing before he can help it, leaning down just enough to rest his head on Ashton’s shoulder.

Suddenly, the sound of choking could be heard next to them.

“You two are making me _seasick_ ,” Michael grumbles, mimicking a gagging motion. “Like, I might actually puke all over Calum’s lap.”

“I’ll dump your body in the ocean if you even think about it,” Calum quickly threatens.

“Hey! It wouldn’t even be _my_ fault, though!” Michael cries.

Luke laughs once more, before shutting his eyes and drowning out his friends’ bickering in favor of listening to the peaceful sounds around him, such as the gentle ocean and the silent engine of the boat. There’s only about five minutes left of their little boat trip, and then they would arrive along the dock again; so, he decides to spend the rest of the time with his nose in the crook of Ashton’s neck. It’s a good decision, Luke thinks, and Ashton never stops caressing his skin, even as he engages in a random conversation with the other two boys.

It almost puts Luke to sleep. 

*** 

(4:12 PM) Sorry I had to skip lunch today :( x

(4:15 PM) _It’s okay :-) We found this really cool place and so now I have fish tacos_

(4:16 PM) Mmm sounds yummy!

(4:17 PM) _It really is but you taste better <3_

(4:19 PM) Oh my god Luke…

(4:20 PM) _Sorry, I just really wish I had your cock in my mouth right now :-(_

(4:22 PM) I’m going to hell. I am going straight to hell for corrupting you like this

(4:26 PM) _shit_

(4:26 PM) _Mikey tried taking my phone away… wow imagine how awkward that would’ve been lol_

(4:28 PM) See, that’s what you get for trying to sext me when you should be enjoying lunch with friends

(4:28 PM) You dirty boy :)

(4:29 PM) _Okaaaay I’ll stop. How’s the meeting ?_

(4:30 PM) I don’t know Luke

(4:31 PM) How can I concentrate when all I can think about now is your pretty mouth around my dick and yummy food 

(4:32 PM) _Oops? I can make it up to you later, if you want ;-)_

(4:34 PM) Well. I guess I know a way you can be useful…

(4:34 PM) My place. 6:15. Don’t be late x

(4:35 PM) _Wouldn’t dream of it :D_

That’s basically how Luke ends up at Ashton’s place.

Luke had been right the first time that he came to the apartment before Christmas. The walls of Ashton’s room are heavily adorned with various band posters from Green Day and My Chemical Romance to Blink-182, and Luke loves it. Unlike the rest of the little apartment, the bedroom perfectly reflects Ashton’s personality, in a way. It’s kind of bright and really cool, and isn’t nearly as messy as Luke’s room even though there are still a couple of things here and there.

Best of all, Ashton’s bedroom has lots of things that Luke had been curious to see but hadn’t been able to before. He’s looking at some of them now, standing in front of the dresser near the closet door. On top of the dresser are a couple of picture frames that hold the most adorable pictures, in Luke’s opinion.

 _That must be Harry and Lauren_ , Luke thinks to himself, examining one of the pictures. Obviously the big goofball in the middle is Ashton, and somehow his hair was even curlier when the picture had been taken. Two much younger children stood on both sides of him, and all three of the adorable siblings had that same bright smile. It must be an Irwin thing, for sure.

Another picture that sits next to it is of an older woman, whom Luke assumes must be Ashton’s mother. It makes sense because she was also in another picture with Ashton standing behind her, his arms around her shoulders and in front of them sat a cake that read ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’ in yellow icing.

He notices that none of the pictures feature Ashton’s father.

Luke then averts his attention to one of the walls that hold only a couple of posters but a lot of medals and ribbons. He already knows what they were for, but he reads them anyway because it’s interesting—probably just because he knows that they were Ashton’s accomplishments, but still. Ashton must’ve been the best swimmer on his high school team, if the number of awards on his wall means anything.

A particular medal grabs Luke’s attention because it has a much older date on it, not to mention what it’s decorated with. He smiles and picks up the ‘artifact’ to examine it closer.

“You were on the soccer team?” he asks with a fond chuckle.

Ashton lifts his head from the pillow to see what Luke is talking about, and then he shrugs nonchalantly.

“A few centuries ago, yeah… I also coached some little kids, for a while,” he replies, yawning. With a mellow grin, he pats the spot next to him on the mattress. “That’s all boring stuff, though. Now get back over here.”

It was just like Ashton to claim that his past was boring when, to be honest, Luke thinks that Ashton might be the most interesting person he’s ever met. Nonetheless, he chuckles again and puts the medal back in its rightful place, then obeys the ‘command’ that he was given.

Another great detail about Ashton’s room is his bed. His mattress is much more comfortable than the old one that Luke has to sleep on, so there’s no protest from the piece of furniture when he plops down onto it and cuddles up to Ashton’s side. As a matter of fact, it’s almost _too_ comfortable, in a way. Combined with the quiet music that plays throughout the room from the computer speakers on Ashton’s tiny desk, it was nearly enough to make anyone fall asleep.

Luke idly grazes his fingers along Ashton’s bare torso, admiring the smooth skin and listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. When his fingers wander up to the shark tooth necklace that Ashton still wore, Luke smiles. It’s especially nice that they’re completely alone now, so Ashton is all his; which may be something that Luke has come to rely on a little too much. He doesn’t worry about it, though, because they’re cuddled together and Ashton’s body is warm, he wants it to be like this all the time.

“Why did you become a lifeguard?” Luke asks out of curiosity. In truth, he wants to know anything and everything about the curly-headed beauty.

Ashton hums a bit, and Luke likes how he can feel the vibration through his bare chest.

“No specific reason,” he finally answers. “I just sort of did it, I guess? I mean, I love the ocean a lot, as you might’ve already guessed. Becoming a lifeguard meant that I’d always be near what I love—of course, I could’ve been stationed at a pool or something. But, where’s the fun in that?”

Ashton shifts so that they’re facing each other and Luke accommodates by entwining their legs.

“Also, it’s just something to do while I figure out what I want to be in life, you know?” he goes on, playing with the hem of Luke’s plaid shirt. “There’s a lot of cool shit that I wanna do, too. Like travel the world as a famous rock star or become an astronaut, maybe even find the Holy Grail—you know, the usual.”

Luke laughs at the extreme examples and suggests one of his own. “What about university? Have you ever thought about giving it a try?”

Ashton wrinkles his nose. “School isn’t really… my thing. I just wanted to be done with it as soon as possible.”

Crap. Luke thinks he probably shouldn’t have brought it up, given the bad experience that Ashton had gone through. He could totally see why continuing with school after _that_ particular incident hadn’t seemed too appealing.

“Besides, I’m really not that smart when it comes to academics,” Ashton adds. “I’m not smart at all, actually.”

Luke disagrees. “That’s a lie. You seem to know a hell of a lot about wave formation and marine life.”

“That’s because they have to do with the ocean!” Ashton giggles, and he playfully boops Luke on the nose. “If it has anything to do with my interests, then I’ll learn everything about it that I can. So yeah, I know a lot about the ocean and musical instruments. But other than that, I’m basically just an idiot.”

Obviously Luke still disagrees and he doesn’t like that Ashton is belittling himself again, but he isn’t given a chance to argue.

“So, what about you?” Ashton asks. “Why are you going to university?”

“I… don’t know?” Luke answers hesitantly. “I mean, I know what I _like_ , but I have to figure out what I’m good at, I guess…”

Ashton nods, apparently able to relate. When he doesn’t say anything, Luke continues.

“Calum has this scholarship for soccer, and Mikey, well… he was going to take time off and figure things out, kind of like what you’re doing—except I think he realized that he’d miss us too much, even if he won’t admit it.” Luke pauses for a brief moment to laugh. “Also, living in the beach house is kind of preparing us for how things will be? Because we’re gonna share an apartment together, so.”

“Oh? That sounds wild,” Ashton teases, because he knows how _mild_ Luke and his friends actually are. Drinking and attending the occasional party doesn’t necessarily give them the title of ‘wild’ but Luke likes to think that they’re _cool_ dorks, okay.

“Can I ask you one more question?”

“You just did,” Ashton snorts. “But sure, go ahead.”

Luke tries not to roll his eyes. “It’s kind of personal, though.”

Ashton seems to think on it for a second, and then he nods. “Go ahead.”

“Is the reason that you don’t like talking about your dad because he’s… you know…”

It takes a second for Ashton to catch on to what he’s trying to say.

Then Ashton snorts again, slowly shaking his head. “No, Luke, my dad isn’t dead—at least, not that I know of.” A short pause follows before he adds more quietly, “He… just wasn’t around much. He wasn’t around _at all_ , actually. But, you know… it’s whatever.”

“Oh,” Luke mumbles, and even though his curiosity had gotten the best of him, he sincerely hopes that he hadn’t just ruined the mood with his nosiness.

Suddenly, Ashton is tugging at his shirt again and changing the subject.

“I don’t like this,” he grumbles.

“Er—what do you mean?”

“This shirt,” he clarifies with a huff, “who said you could put it back on? You’re overdressed, and it’s a problem.”

 _Ah_.

So that’s what he’s getting at. Looks like someone is still feeling horny—and, it’s probably only been half an hour since Luke’s last orgasm, but he’s young and hormonal and Ashton basically drives him crazy, so he could certainly go for another round.

“I guess you’re right,” Luke replies, smirking.

The look in Ashton’s eyes is _dangerous_ , all of a sudden. But it’s a good kind of danger, of course.

“Take your shirt off, Luke.”

And Luke obeys, sitting up to unbutton the shirt. He doesn’t go about it quickly, however, because Ashton is staring intently and he wants to tease him. Being a tease is fun, he’s come to learn. But, it doesn’t seem as if Ashton agrees with that plan.

“Hurry,” he demands.

Luke laughs but doesn’t speed up the process that much. “Jeez, you’re particularly bossy today, aren’t you?”

Ashton shrugs. “You like it, though. You like when I’m bossy.”

It’s not _completely_ untrue, if Luke is being honest with himself. Maybe that statement isn’t false at all, because yeah, Ashton could be a bit controlling but he wasn’t unbearably so. Luke has met bossy assholes a few times in his life, and Ashton isn’t anything like _those_ people. Ashton is bossy in a different kind of way—it’s almost endearing, as a matter of fact. Well, Luke finds it endearing so who cares what anyone else thinks.

“Say it,” Ashton demands, once a few seconds have gone by without a response because Luke isn’t even going to deny it.

“…I like it.”

“Like what?”

“I like when you boss me around,” Luke confesses, and he knows that his face is really red right now but he’s still smirking, anyway. “I think it’s really fucking sexy, especially when you get that smug look on your face—like the one you have now.”

And it’s true, undeniably true. Ashton looks like the smuggest asshole right about now, and it only makes Luke want to kiss that grin off his stupidly gorgeous face. Like, he _really_ wants to.

So he does. Luke connects their lips with such haste that he doesn’t even finish undoing the last button of his shirt. It’s doesn’t seem to matter much, because Ashton slides the fabric from his broad shoulders, revealing the sun-kissed skin underneath. When he breaks the kiss far too early for Luke’s liking, Luke whines—but it quickly turns into a soft moan when Ashton starts to kiss along his shoulder blade instead.

Luke lets out a sharp hiss when Ashton sucks roughly into the skin over his collarbone. There was already a bruise there from a little earlier, so Ashton must’ve wanted to make it even more visible than it already is. Of all the hickeys that Luke has received in the past few days, this one is probably going to be the biggest—and he wears every single one of them with pride. He knows that the marks are noticeable whenever he takes off his shirt to go surfing or wears a scoop tee. Somehow, knowing that people would see them makes him even more excited.

Ashton pushes Luke so that he’s lying back against the mattress again and straddles his waist. Before he can proceed any further, a familiar chime interrupts them, the sound coming from somewhere on the floor.

Luke’s phone is ringing.

“Let it go to voicemail,” Ashton tells him, but it isn’t in that same bossy tone anymore. No, he was almost _pleading_ , and Luke can see the line of his hard cock in his underwear.

Basically, Luke sees no problem with that.

He ignores the call and pulls Ashton down into another heated kiss. Eventually the damn thing stops ringing, like all good phones are supposed to do...

…Only to start up again about five seconds later.

Ashton groans dramatically and, right now, he looks like he seriously wants to murder Luke’s iPhone. Luke only giggles and pecks his lips one more time.

“I better get that… sorry.”

So Ashton rolls off of him with a childish whine, allowing Luke to lean down to the floor and grab his phone from the pocket of his discarded skinny jeans.

“The world is against me,” Ashton grumbles just before Luke answers the call. And—

 _Fuck_.

“H-Hi mum,” Luke stammers out, because he’s an idiot who totally didn’t even read the contact name before answering—not that he would straight up _ignore_ his mother, had he known it was her. At the least, he would have prepared himself so that she wouldn’t catch on to the fact that he was just about to let a guy—that he just met a month ago—get him off for the third time that day.  

Luke clears his throat. “Um, yeah—yeah, I’m fine. Mikey and Cal are fine, too. We were… we were just about to head down to the beach, play a bit of volleyball,” he lies.

Ashton finds it amusing. He’s giggling into his palm in order to remain silent, listening as Luke blatantly lies to his mother. Everyone knows that Luke is the worst liar, especially when it’s Liz that he was trying to manipulate. But, the main reason that she _always_ catches him is due to his face and body language that gives him away. She obviously can’t see him right now, so all Luke has to do is keep his voice steady and try not to take too long to answer when she asks him a question.

This whole thing would’ve been a lot easier if Ashton hadn’t decided to tease him right then. The evil jerk had shuffled down the mattress until his face was parallel to Luke’s legs. Then he started to kiss them, slowly grazing his lips along the soft skin of Luke’s thigh while one of his hands stroked the other leg. Luke literally prays to every Greek god that his mother won’t be able to hear the way his breathing picks up—of course he could just lie and say he was doing something else, but he doesn’t think his brain would come up with something quickly enough.

Luke squirms a little, trying to make Ashton stop while simultaneously trying to keep the conversation going. Luckily for him, Ashton eventually gets bored of the teasing—or, maybe he just didn’t feel like being a dick—and gives Luke’s thigh a little pinch before stopping altogether. He rests his curly head on that same thigh and patiently waits until Luke has finished.

“Alright, I promise I’ll call you tomorrow—yeah, okay... I know, I won’t forget… I love you, too. Bye mum.”

Only when the call officially ends does Luke finally breathe again. He glances down at his leg to find Ashton grinning up at him.

“So that was your mum, huh?” he says.

“Yeah…”

“How often do you talk to her?”

“Um, every few days, I guess. We FaceTimed once, last month.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Ashton giggles. Without hesitating he then asks, “Does she know that you like dick?”

It’s asked out of pure curiosity, but obviously he could’ve worded it differently. This time Luke doesn’t stop his eyes from rolling and he reaches down, lightly tugging one of Ashton’s curls.

“Yeah, yeah she does… I told her about you, by the way.”

Ashton’s eyes widen, slightly alarmed. “You… you did?”

Luke nods, although now he realizes how that probably sounds. “Yeah—um, but not like… I didn’t tell her anything weird. She just asked what I did most of the time, and I told her about how you taught me to surf… oh! And she knows you helped me make the bracelet for her.”

“Oh, I see…” Ashton says, visibly relaxing. “Did she like it?”

“She loves it.”

That puts a little smile on his face and he nuzzles against Luke’s thigh.

“So, what about you?” Luke asks. “How often do you talk to your mum?”

Ashton gives a slight shrug, but other than that, he doesn’t look up. “We… haven’t spoken in a while, actually.”

“Oh… do you want to?”

His answer comes immediately this time. “Doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t think she’ll want to talk to me, anyway.”

Time and time again Luke has warned himself not to pry any further when he could see that a certain topic made Ashton uneasy. And, time and time again, he fails to listen to that part of his brain. He likes Ashton and wants to know all that there is to know about him, and since they’re friends, Luke figures that it’s his job to be there when Ashton wants to talk about things. Except, it’s kind of rare that Ashton ever opened up to him in that way, and he hardly volunteered information about his life prior to… well, prior to _now_. But it was his choice, so Luke should just step off.

Except he doesn’t, of course.

“Why?” he presses on. “Why wouldn’t she want to talk to you...?”

Ashton sort of snaps. “I don’t know. Maybe because of all the shit that I caused? Maybe because, you know, _I’m_ the idiot that decided to fuck the teacher? Or, maybe because three years later I’m just as useless as I’ve always been—but she’s the one who probably still has to deal with people whispering behind her back, saying shit like ‘isn’t that the woman whose son _lied_ about being in a relationship with a staff member?’”

The sudden outburst startles Luke into silence and he has absolutely no clue what he should say or do right now. Ashton hadn’t even raised his voice, but every word that spilled from his lips contained such venom that it almost scared Luke. Just almost, because he can see that Ashton is merely venting out the guilt that he still feels about the whole situation. It’s also plain to see that he hasn’t forgiven himself, and maybe he thinks that his mother hasn’t forgiven him, either. It’s probably more complicated than that, but Luke won’t delve any further.

“Ashton…” he murmurs after a while of complete silence.

“It’s—I mean, I’m okay,” Ashton suddenly pipes up. Within seconds his entire mood has changed and he crawls back up to his previous position before the interrupting phone call, straddling Luke again. “Can we just… not talk about it? I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

He’s putting on a façade, even as he gives Luke a soft reassuring smile and gently kisses his lips again. Luke is not nearly as turned on as he had been a few minutes ago, but he thinks that if he makes Ashton feel good, then Ashton will forget all about the things that made him feel bad. After all, Luke hadn’t meant to upset him, and he hopes that he’ll never do so again.

“Okay,” he mutters against Ashton’s lips, “we don’t have to talk about it.”

Pleased by those words, Ashton kisses him with much more enthusiasm, and shortly afterwards, both of them have forgotten all but each other’s touch. 

*** 

A couple of nights later, Luke is lying in his own bed again. It’s actually the first time in the past few days that he has to sleep alone, but it’s for a legitimate reason. Ashton had gone out drinking with some of the other lifeguards since one of them was leaving to be stationed somewhere else; so it was basically a goodbye party. Obviously, Luke isn’t a lifeguard and hadn’t wanted to intrude, so he didn’t ask to tag along like a sick little puppy that wanted to be by Ashton’s side at all times.

It was still boring, though. For the past hour at least, he’s been mindlessly scrolling through twitter, seeing what some of his friends from school were up to during their vacations. Aside from Michael and Calum, Luke has never really been _that_ close to the people at school or around his neighborhood, but he did hang out with them enough to call them friends. It still doesn’t do much to take away the boredom, but it’s enough for now since he can’t really sleep.

That’s why he almost leaps with joy when there’s a knock on his door. Just _maybe_ he was hoping that it would be a certain someone with majestic curls, but then the colorful head that peeks through the door when it opens belongs to Michael.

“So you _are_ awake,” Michael says. “Why didn’t you answer when I knocked?”

Luke snorts. “It’s not like you even gave me a chance to.”

“True. Well, I’m coming in, anyway.”

Thus, Michael slithers through the doorway and closes it behind him. The way that he strides over to the bed, climbs in without hesitation, and pulls the sheets up to his shoulder reminds Luke of a housecat that did whatever the fuck it wanted. Not that Luke has a problem sharing his bed, but it’s actually been a while since the person he shared it with was Michael, compared to how often they shared a bed when they first became best friends. Therefore, something must’ve been wrong.

“Sexting Ashton again?” Michael teases, since Luke had temporarily gone back to staring at his phone.

“You know it,” Luke replies with a wink. A moment later he turns the device off and sets it on the dresser next to the bed. It’s silent afterwards, but he knows that Michael will start talking in a few seconds.

It was more or less a routine for them. Once in a while, Michael would climb into his bed at night and they would talk about things that they wouldn’t talk about otherwise. Luke thinks perhaps there’s something about the darkness of a room and the comfort of lying in bed that makes Michael feel more inclined to open up and just _talk_. Like, about serious topics that the three of them were usually too dorky and immature to approach during the day. So Luke makes sure to listen attentively.

The continuous silence makes it apparent that this is one of those times where Luke has to pull it out of him before he actually speaks.

“What’s wrong with your bed?” Luke asks, deciding that it’s best to start off simple.

Michael gives a small shrug. “Nothing. I just didn’t feel like using it, and Calum is already asleep.”

“So I was your last resort?”

“Yup.”

Luke laughs, but he can tell that his friend is just procrastinating.

“By the way, you never told me how your date went yesterday.”

“It was okay,” Michael mutters after a short delay.

 _Aha_.

So that’s what this is about. Luke gives himself props for being able to detect the problem so quickly.

“Just ‘okay’? Wait, don’t tell me—Lindsey beat you repeatedly at a video game and now your spirit is broken?”

Even though it’s dark, he can tell that Michael rolls his eyes. “No, idiot. That’s not it.”

“Okay. So was it the… you know…”

It takes a second for Michael to understand what Luke is implying, and when he does, he can’t help but laugh a little.

“No, Luke, the sex wasn’t bad,” he mumbles. “Nothing was bad. We had a lot of fun, actually. It was… great. Everything was great.”

Luke lets out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t get it, then. You had a good time and you hooked up afterwards. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Michael only shrugs again. “I thought I did, but I guess I don’t? It is what it is, I suppose.”

Even though he says that, it’s not very convincing. Luke isn’t convinced at all, in fact, and he’s still trying to figure it out since Michael is so hesitant to just say it. And, if he’s that afraid to actually come right out and say it, then it can only mean one thing. It has nothing to do with Lindsey, but everything to do with Michael’s ex-girlfriend, Trisha.

“…You miss her, don’t you?” Luke says at last. The immediate return of the silence gives him the answer.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Michael suddenly blurts out. “Or pathetic, I don’t know—I thought I was over it and to prove to myself that I was, I figured hooking up with someone cool would like… ‘finalize’ it or some shit, but it didn’t—of course it didn’t, and now I feel like a fucking idiot.”

Luke shakes his head in disagreement and tries to calm his friend. “Not being over the break-up doesn’t make you an idiot, Mikey…”

“Maybe. I still feel that way, though.” Michael goes quiet for a brief moment, distracting himself by playing with the sheets. When he speaks up again, his tone sounds almost vulnerable. “Can I… tell you something that I haven’t told anyone before?”

Luke nods and scoots closer to him. “Sure.”

“…I thought about going with her,” he whispers. “I literally thought about following her to England and leaving everything behind—my parents, even you and Calum. How _insane_ is that?”

Luke doesn’t know if it’s an actual question or not so he stays quiet; but his eyes are wide because he never thought that Michael would consider something like that. It just seemed too _real_ and serious for someone like Michael—or any of them, to be honest.

Michael seems content to go on, regardless of Luke’s input or not.

“It was her dream to go and I had no right to stop her, so I figured, what the hell. I’m in love with this girl and I want to be with her, so England it is!” he says, trying to make fun of himself to hide what Luke could see, anyway. “But, I realized I’m no Peter Parker. I can’t just run off to another country to be with a girl I’ve dated for ten months, even if I’ve liked her for much longer. I had to be rational about it, you know?”

“I know,” Luke mutters, because even if he can’t relate, he feels like he should say something anyway.

“So I told her that, but then… then she said that a long distance relationship would never work out, so that’s that. Man, I feel like shit.”

Luke cuddles even closer to Michael because it’s all that he can do right now, since he doesn’t really know how to make him feel better. He hardly even knows what to say, either.

“It’ll get… better, you know. Things will get better,” Luke tries, because he _thinks_ that’s what is supposed to be said in these situations. They’re young, so it’s not like he’s had to cheer his best friends up over love before. A broken heart, yes, but never _love_. It was always much simpler than that.

“The question is _when_ , though. When will it get better, because right now it doesn’t…” Michael trails off, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I’m still in love with her, Luke… how long does it take to stop being in love with someone?”

It’s definitely a rhetorical question, this time—but Luke wouldn’t know the answer even if it wasn’t. He’s never been in love and it seems like such a frightening feeling to endure, especially when the person is gone for good. He can tell that Michael sort of regrets not going with Trisha to England, while at the same time knowing that he never could. It was a difficult situation to be in, no doubt.

“Thanks,” Michael mumbles sometime later. Luke notices that he’s falling asleep.

“For...?”

“For listening, duh.” He chuckles and nuzzles further into the pillow—it’s obvious they’re sleeping together tonight, so he doesn’t need to ask. Luke is grateful for the company, anyway.

Even though Luke still feels a little bad that he hadn’t been able to make Michael feel better, the comfortable silence is enticing and he can’t help but feel relaxed, especially since he’s no longer sleeping alone. So, it’s expected when they both drift off into the land of unconsciousness soon afterwards, and the last thing that Luke hears is the sound of Michael mumbling.

“Love is so fucking weird.” 

*** 

Luke sticks the surfboard into the sand, and after making sure that it’s secure, he plops down next to it, exhausted. Ashton is right alongside him and they sit next to each other in silence for a bit. Today’s waves had been pretty nice, so they surfed them for a much longer time than usual. Like, a really _long_ time. It was good surfing practice, though. Luke isn’t wearing a watch and he doesn’t have his phone so he can’t tell the exact time, but he’s gotten so used to being in Byron Bay that he could guess the hour by where the sun was positioned in the sky. And yeah, so that could be done pretty much anywhere, but Luke likes to think otherwise.

There’s an elbow gently prodding him in the side, so Luke turns to see Ashton staring at him with a look of slight worry.

“Why the long face?” he asks. “You did really well today, and you’ll keep getting better as you practice more and more.”

That hadn’t been why Luke was quieter than usual, though. For some reason, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Michael had told him the night before. Luke had wanted so badly to cheer him up but he just didn’t know how. When he had asked Calum for advice on what should’ve been said, his dark-haired friend only claimed that Michael needed more time to come to terms with the break-up. Luke still felt bad, however.

Maybe Ashton would be able to help.

“How do you get over someone that you’re in love with?” Luke asks.

Ashton instantly frowns and turns his gaze elsewhere, seemingly a little uncomfortable.

“What’s this about?” he then asks.

Luke pauses because now he’s not too sure whether he should say anything or not. It had been one thing to seek help from Calum, because Calum already knew about the situation and he’s known Michael for much longer than Luke has, anyway. Even though Ashton is friends with all of them, Luke still feels a bit weird about spilling someone else’s business to him. It wouldn’t be fair to do so, after all. But he still needed help, so perhaps he’ll simply give Ashton an abridged version, then.

“Basically,” Luke starts, “Mikey is going through a break-up with… someone that he loves. Like, a lot. I mean, they were absolutely _gross_ together and it was sickeningly cute—but, they had different life plans so now she’s gone and… and last night, he came to me. I think he was hurting but I didn’t know what to say or do…” Luke has to pause again, taking a deep breath.

“How can he move on when he still loves her?”

Ashton is looking at him once more, but what he says is different from what Luke had expected or hoped for.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he’ll get over it sooner or later. Just give it another month or two and be there for him when he needs you.”

Luke lets out a worried sigh. “But what if he _doesn’t_ get over it, though? What then?”

“Listen, Luke—you’re making this a much bigger deal than it actually is,” Ashton tells him. “Young people often think they’re in love just because they’ve been with someone for longer than two weeks, which is perfectly normal. They have this unrealistic idea that love is forever, and then when they’re no longer with that person, it’s like their entire world has ended.”

The way that Ashton is telling him all of this seems so condescending, and Luke finds himself feeling a little annoyed. Luke dislikes whenever Ashton speaks like this; when he acted like he was some sort of wise wizard who had lived a thousand years while Luke was just a _boy_ , so he _had_ to listen because Ashton knows what he’s talking about—which isn’t always the case, of course.

“It’s actually much simpler than that,” Ashton goes on. “Romantic love is not nearly as… complex or magical as the films make it out to be. It’ll go away soon enough, so Michael will be just fine. He’s still young and when he’s ready, he should just try to have lots of fun with people instead of messing around with ‘love’. Because love is basically pointless, you know?”

There’s something extremely hypocritical about that, and Luke mutters it before he can stop himself.

“ _You_ were in love, though…”

“Thought. I _thought_ I was in love. There’s a huge difference.” Ashton’s tone as he instantly corrects Luke is suddenly cold. “I thought we were in love, he betrayed me, and then I realized that we weren’t.”

Luke keeps his eyes down and he doesn’t say anything further, afraid that he’ll make Ashton angry if he does. He still feels like what’s being said is _wrong_ , but what would he know? Luke has never been in love and he’s never been heartbroken, even when he and his girlfriend broke up so long ago. He figures that he probably doesn’t have a right to argue, then.

Ashton exhales a breath, apparently feeling calm again as he quietly says, “Just because someone fucks you repeatedly and makes you feel special, doesn’t mean that they actually give a shit about you... but, you know, I suppose that’s life.”

The atmosphere around them feels kind of awkward, and it’s a little sad because it hasn’t felt that way ever since they started this ‘friends with benefits’ thing. Luke thinks he’s brought up something that shouldn’t have been brought up at all, which would be the second time he’s screwed up in the past three days alone. He briefly worries that Ashton might get tired of him soon and stop giving him kisses, maybe even stop hanging out with him altogether if Luke continues digging into his personal life.

So, Luke mutters an apology.

“Sorry.”

Unexpectedly, Ashton reacts by chuckling and bumping his shoulder into Luke’s.

“What do you have to be sorry for? Don’t apologize, Lukey. I’m just telling you like it is, since most people won’t.” Ashton stands up then, and brushes the sand from his backside. “Who knows, maybe you’ll learn from my experience and won’t make the same mistake. But you’re a smart boy, so I know you won’t.”

Luke stands up as well—he’s still at a loss for words so he neither agrees nor disagrees with the last statement, instead content to follow Ashton off the beach, surfboards in tow.

“Let’s go get changed, and then I’ll treat you and the boys to dinner. How does that sound?” Ashton proposes, glancing back over his shoulder to look at Luke.

And well, Luke’s stomach thinks that it’s the best idea yet. So, he has no choice but to agree and forget all about that other stuff.

“Okay.”


	9. Of Alcohol and Ecstasy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun and spicy chapter lurks in the distance.

* * *

 

“Why couldn’t we just watch Finding Nemo?”

It’s probably the fifth time in the past ten minutes that Luke has said those words, but he never received his answer. Apparently, watching as a bunch of helpless people die on the television screen is far more important than anything that he has to say, so they ignore his question for the millionth time.

The repetition of rainwater pounding on the roof can barely be heard over the volume of the loud movie, or rather, the screams of the dying people.

It had been raining outside for the past couple of hours—scratch that, it was _pouring_ and it didn’t seem as if the storm would subside any time soon. That was one of the weird things about summer—it was hot as fuck one day, and then the next, they were being warned about an oncoming storm. Luke would’ve welcomed the rain with a lot more enthusiasm, since it relieved him of the heat; but, it also ruined his and Ashton’s plan to visit the cinema that evening. He had showered, fixed his hair up nicely, and put on his best outfit, too. Luke is still mad about that.

Instead, Ashton went to his place and brought back a few of his own movies so that they could all watch them together, just before the storm hit in full force. Now, it appears as if they wouldn’t be able to leave even if they wanted to.

Luke pulls the blanket further up until it’s just beneath his chin and he nuzzles further into the crook of Ashton’s neck. To be honest, he really doesn’t like this movie.

“ _Ashton_ ,” Luke whines, and then he presses a kiss to Ashton’s neck because he knows that it’s a ticklish spot. “Can we watch Finding Nemo, now?”

At first, Ashton only reacts by turning his head a little to stop the tickling sensation, but then he gives Luke a warning glare before directing his attention back to the screen.

“Shush, Lukey. You’ve seen that movie, what, a million times probably? But you’ve never watched Titanic, so that’s what we’re doing now.”

The thing is, when Luke had said that he’d never seen the Titanic before, he wasn’t necessarily _asking_ to see it. He knew what it was about and he knew that it was sad. Personally, he very much prefers comedies and animated films, not Hollywood adaptations of real-life tragic events that would leave him depressed.

As he attempts to watch it, he suddenly realizes that it probably isn’t a good idea to watch a movie where a bunch of people drowned as a storm rages on outside. This beach house is old and situated on a small hill with waves violently crashing down at the bottom of it, so you can only assume what his imagination is throwing at him right about now.

“You know,” Michael suddenly speaks up, “if it were me in that ocean instead of Rose, I wouldn’t have let Jack die.”

“Were you even watching the movie? He tried to get on that thing, too, but it started to flip over. It’s not Rose’s fault,” Calum scoffs.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Michael insists. He sits up from his slouched position in the big armchair and faces the couch, where the other three boys were cuddled up. “You see, I really think that they could’ve been more tactical about the situation. My theory is, after getting over the initial shock of nearly drowning, they could’ve gathered up all the lifejackets—you know, from the dead bodies? And then combined them to create, like, a huge floaty thing and—”

“Oh my god, this isn’t a video game, Mikey!” Ashton exclaims, laughing with earnest. Luke and Calum join in.

“It’s not funny! Whatever, you guys are just uncreative.” Michael sticks out his tongue but decides to just let it go, anyway. A second later he gets up to turn off the movie as the credits begin to roll, and stands in front of the screen with his hands on his hips. “So let’s play a real game, then.”

Calum hums at the offer. “What did you have in mind?”

“Something different, like… board games!”

“We don’t have any board games, though,” Luke reminds him.

Michael silently curses to himself, but then he seems to have a solution. “Yeah, but we do have Ashton. Surely he has a board game or two back at his place. Right, Ash?”

Ashton gasps dramatically and puts a hand to chest, offended. “You would send me out into a raging storm for a _board game_? I’m wounded, Mikey—I thought you valued me!”

“I wouldn’t let you go,” Luke quickly comments, and the smile that he receives makes his tummy flutter.

“Aw, thanks Luke. I knew that I could count on you,” Ashton coos, kissing the top of his blonde head.

Michael makes a gagging sound. “You’re such a kiss ass, Luke.”

Maybe it’s true, maybe it isn’t. But who cares? Luke doesn’t. As long as he’s the only one that gets to kiss any part of Ashton’s body, then the teasing couldn’t matter less. 

“I know what we’re going to play,” Calum announces. All of a sudden he’s rising from the couch and disappearing into the kitchen without another word. The sound of creaking cabinets and clinking glass could be heard, and then he returns a minute later with a bottle of alcohol and a smirk on his face. He also has four tiny glasses in his arms, so Michael helps him set them on the coffee table.

“We’re playing a drinking game,” he says at last. “Specifically ‘Never Have I Ever’ because everyone knows that game. So, who’s down?”

Ashton begins to cheer excitedly. “Who _isn’t_ down? C’mon, boys! Let’s play.”

“Alright, I’m in,” Michael says with a shrug.

Luke isn’t so sure. He’s not exactly a big fan of this particular game, mostly because it _always_ turns into ‘Who Has Had The Most Sex’ and, given the fact that Luke had been a virgin until recently, he either ends up feeling left out or having to lie about his sex life to fit in. Neither option was fun, plus Michael and Calum knew that he’d never done anything so they always called out his bluff.

Perhaps this time would be different, though. It’s been a while since he’s played and a lot has happened since then, so he supposes that it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. Besides, he doesn’t want to spoil their fun, either.

“Okay,” Luke mutters, though a bit hesitantly.

That’s how they all end up sitting on the floor, the glasses and the bottle of alcohol positioned on the little table in front of them. It’s silent because no one seems to want to start, but then Michael lets out a small sigh and takes one for the team.

“Fine. I’ll go first.” He pauses to clear his throat and closes his eyes to think. “Never have I ever… been unable to finish a slice of pizza.”

Calum snorts, shaking his head. “That’s so weak. Who the fuck doesn’t finish pizza?”

“Lots of people? I’m talking about the crusts, too,” Michael grumbles, rolling his eyes.

“Well, how am I supposed remember whether I’ve thrown away a piece of crust or not? I’ve eaten pizza so many times in my life, I honestly have no clue.”

Both Luke and Ashton agree with that statement, and Michael gets fed up.

“If you can’t remember then that means you’ve probably done it before. Now take a drink, assholes.”

Not wanting to bicker over something so stupid, the three other boys sigh and do as they’re told. It’s not really a problem, anyway, since the plan is to get drunk and have fun.

“I’m going next!” Ashton declares with vigor; not that anyone really cared who went next, but whatever. “Never have I ever dyed my hair to look like a rainbow,” he says, smirking in Michael’s direction. It’s clearly meant to poke fun at him specifically.

“Oh come on,” Michael groans, but there’s a grin that threatens to surface on his face.

“I think you should have to drink at least five shots for that,” Luke laughs.

“Shut up, Luke,” he says automatically, before picking up the glass and downing the liquor.

This isn’t so bad. If they kept saying silly, harmless things like this, then Luke can bet that he’d even be able to have lots of fun while playing the game, for once. It’s also really amusing to hear the shit that they came up with, too.

But, of course it doesn’t last. It doesn’t last long at all. They’re still a bunch of young, horny dudes whose main purpose is to reveal dirty secrets and get wasted. As expected, the questions grow more and more vulgar as the game goes on and sobriety has completely evacuated the building. However, instead of being slightly uncomfortable, everything is extremely funny and Luke finds himself leaning against Ashton’s side the entire time.

“My turn, my turn,” Calum slurs from the opposite side of the table. He’s giggling so much that it actually takes him a moment to say anything. “I specifically dedicate this one to Luke. Never have I ever given a blowjob before!”

Luke instantly bursts into giggles and hides his flushed face in Ashton’s shoulder. On the contrary, Ashton thinks it’s something to be immensely proud of and he encourages Luke to take a shot with him, since obviously it’s something they’ve both done a number of times with each other—and in Ashton’s case, with other people as well.

Luke tosses his head back and winces as the alcohol slithers down his throat, but he’s slowly beginning to get used to it. When he watches Ashton perform the same action, Luke unconsciously licks his lips from the way that the Adam’s apple bobs in his throat upon swallowing. Afterwards, Ashton uses the back of his hand to wipe his mouth and turns to Luke with a satisfied grin.

They should be kissing right now. Like, literally right this instance. Luke wants to kiss Ashton even though his friends are sitting right there, and he’s about to lean forward when something else grabs Ashton’s attention, unfortunately.

“ _Mikey_ ?” Ashton gasps, catching as Michael sets the shot glass back onto the table because he’d taken a drink, too. “Since when did… but I thought you were straight!”

Michael shrugs nonchalantly, either too drunk to care or genuinely unconcerned. “I’m pretty sure I’m straight, but like… I wanted to know what dick was like, so I gave a blowjob to someone in Year Eleven. It was okay and _maybe_ I’d try it again—but eh, I prefer eating pussy.”

There’s a chorus of loud laughter that follows that last statement, even though no one really knows why they’re laughing. But they can’t seem to stop, so they don’t even try to.

“Also, also! I was that someone,” Calum says once he’s calmed down a little. “Right, Mikey?”

Michael snorts and gives him a light shove. “Pfft—you wish!”

“Yeah…” Calum sighs, suddenly pouting like a wounded puppy. “I feel kind of left out, knowing that I’m the only one in this room who hasn’t had a dick in their mouth.”

“You poor little Kiwi,” Michael coos, and then he wiggles his brows suggestively. “We could change that, you know.”

“How soon?” Calum pipes up, teasingly fluttering his eyelashes.

“I don’t want to hear this!” Luke shouts over the drunken flirtations. Honestly, sometimes his friends took joking to a whole new level and he swears that if neither of them ends up with someone else in the future, they’d probably settle for each other but still refer to one another as _bro_.

Ashton laughs at the scene before him and wraps an arm around Luke’s waist. “Aw, I think you guys are making Luke uncomfortable.”

“Discomfort is Luke’s natural state,” Calum says matter-of-factly.

Michael leans over to whisper into his ear. “I think Luke only wants to hear about dick if it belongs to Ashton.”

“I can hear you, you know.”

“I wanted you to. Anyway, it’s my turn.” Michael hums for a second, nodding as he quickly comes up with something to say. “Okay. Never have I ever had sex in public. Or, like, anywhere that I could’ve been easily caught.”

While Luke cringes because he knows that this applies to him, there’s also a fuzzy feeling that flows throughout his body when he remembers the moment of fun that he and Ashton had shared under the pier, as well as the encounter in their special beach cave. Maybe it’s dangerous to think of it as _theirs_ , but Luke tells himself that it’s the alcohol that causes these thoughts. It was just casual hooking up between two good friends, after all. There shouldn’t be anything too ‘special’ about it, either. Yet, he still feels that way.

Calum drinks half of a shot after asking Michael to define ‘public’, claiming that he has been in a rather compromising situation before. Luke and Ashton, on the other hand, down their shots like it was becoming routine. Luke is beginning to feel a little dizzy, but he decides to ignore it because the game was actually turning out to be fun, surprisingly. They’ll probably be done soon, anyway, given the small amount of alcohol left.

“I can’t say I’m surprised at you two,” Michael huffs, glancing back and forth between Luke and Ashton.

“Is Ashton pushing all of his kinks onto you, Luke? It’s okay, you can tell us,” Calum adds, trying to sound serious but there’s a cheeky little grin on his face so it doesn’t work well.

Luke casually flips him off and Ashton giggles a little.

“Given the fact that I haven’t received a _single_ complaint yet, I’d say that Lukey likes it well enough. Besides, public sex is one of the best kinds of sex to have. You’ve got to venture outside the bedroom at least once in your life, know what I mean?”

“Okay, so where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever done it, then?” Calum asks.

Ashton makes a show of humming for a while before settling on an answer. “On a boat.”

Michael scoffs, “I’d hardly call that weird.”

“I wasn’t finished,” Ashton replies with a little smirk. “The boat was moving pretty fast, so it was… _thrilling_ , to say the least. I wasn’t even supposed to be there, technically—but he was a sailor, had some really neat tattoos, and I guess I couldn’t resist ‘em. He snuck me on board.”

Calum’s eyes widen and it’s clear to see that he’s intrigued. “Sailor? Like, in the Navy? But what if you had gotten caught and, like, taken to some secret torture chamber in a submarine and—”

“No, no—I think you’ve got the wrong idea!” Ashton cackles. “It wasn’t, like, some really huge naval ship or anything. Just a little boat. But yeah, he was in the Navy… we met at a bar when he and a few other sailors came in for drinks, and all I could think was _uniforms_. God, I love a man in uniform.”

“I bet you love all the really weird kinks, too,” Calum teases. He pours the last few drops of alcohol into Ashton’s glass and pushes it back towards him. “So, tell us more.”

Luke really doesn’t want to hear any of this, either. He sits in silence while the other two boys eagerly listen to stories of Ashton’s sexual escapades, making comments and asking questions here and there; their eagerness makes them seem like a couple of preteens who giggle at the word sex but have never seen a boob before. Or, maybe Luke is just irritated that they were encouraging Ashton to keep telling stories.

And, who the hell wants to hear about their crush having sex with other people? Not Luke. What’s worse is that, when he scoots away in discomfort, Ashton doesn’t even notice. In fact, it seems as if none of them really notice Luke sitting there with a pout on his face that gradually turns into misery. There’s this consistent burning inside of him that he doesn’t think he’s felt before, because it’s much stronger than simple jealousy. Speaking of which, Luke shouldn’t even be jealous in the first place. He knows that Ashton has slept with other people before him, and it isn’t a big deal.

Yet, knowing about it and _hearing_ about it are two completely different things. It makes Luke angry. He’s angry at himself for feeling such negative emotions over this, even though Ashton isn’t his boyfriend so that gives him no right. But, he’s also angry because Ashton has no problem talking about fucking other guys and girls while Luke is sitting literally two feet away.

It makes him feel… _inadequate_.

“Fuck, we’re out of booze!” Michael exclaims all of a sudden. “Calum, go and find some more.”

“Why don’t you? I got it the first time, dammit.”

“Fine, if you’re gonna cry about it—Luke! Fetch us a bottle from the kitchen.”

But Luke doesn’t answer or move a single inch, still very much upset over what they’d decided to talk about for the past ten minutes or so. Calum lifts his head from where it was resting on the table and takes in the expression on his friend’s face.

“I think Luke’s angry because he hasn’t had a turn in a while,” he assumes. “Okay, whoever has done what Luke decides to say, has to get the bottle and drink _two_ shots.”

Upon agreeing to those rules, they wait for Luke to take his turn and say something. However, Luke really doesn’t want to play this stupid game anymore. He’s drunk and sad and irritated and all he wants to do is pass out on his bed. Alone. Maybe he’ll cuddle with his stuffed penguin that he’d decided to name Pengey, but _Ashton_ gave him that penguin and it’ll probably just make him even sadder.

Unfortunately, they prod and prod and won’t leave him alone until he says something, so Luke gets even more upset.

“Never have I _ever_ wanted to play this fucking game, yet I’m always forced to,” he grumbles, letting his irritation be known.

“What’s wrong, Lukey…?” Ashton asks, because _now_ he decides to care. He reaches out to slink an arm around Luke’s waist again, just like he always does, but the younger boy recoils from the touch as if it burns. Luke doesn’t risk glancing at Ashton’s face to catch his reaction to being rejected, because he’s afraid of what he’ll see.

Ashton doesn’t try to touch him again.

“Do you want to play Truth or Dare instead?” Calum quickly offers. He probably senses the sudden tension in the room, but then again, it was really difficult not to.

And no, Luke doesn’t want to play another game. However, Calum is staring at him with a hopeful look on his face and Michael seems as if he wants to say something but isn’t sure what, and Luke really can’t be angry at his friends; he doesn’t want to cause a scene or ruin the fun that they _were_ having, so he hesitantly agrees to play. The least that he can do is pretend not to be too upset.

“Would you like to go first?” Calum then asks, but Luke shakes his head. “Okay, I guess I’ll go first then. Hmm… truth or dare, Luke?”

Luke is about to mutter ‘truth’ but that’s probably what they expect him to say. After all, whenever they play this slightly-less irritating game, truth is what he goes for most of the time. Maybe if he mixes it up a bit, he’ll throw them off.

“Dare,” he announces, and just as expected, both of his friends look surprised. He doesn’t know how Ashton reacts, because he refuses to look at the guy for the rest of the night. Yeah, it’s probably childish, but Luke feels like he has a right to be.

Calum seems to be carefully planning a dare as he sits there for a moment, tapping a finger to his chin. When he comes up with something, a sneaky grin appears on his face and Luke suddenly regrets every decision that he’s ever made. Ever.

“Okay,” Calum starts. “I dare you to give him a lap dance.”

Luke’s blue eyes widen and flicker towards Ashton’s direction before he remembers that he’s still angry. If he can’t even look at Ashton without feeling a mixture of anger and sadness, how the hell is he supposed to give him a lap dance, for god’s sake!

“Not him,” Calum clarifies when he notices the way that Luke stiffens. “ _Him_. For one full minute.”

Luke glances back up to find Calum pointing a finger at Michael. And well, that’s definitely unexpected. Michael narrows his eyes at Calum—who is smiling like an innocent little lamb—and there’s a hint of a smirk on his lips.

“You little shit,” he grumbles, then directs his attention to Luke. “Alright Hemmings, show me what you can do, I guess.”

Luke’s pulse quickens in his veins and he feels nervous about this, but he’s already shuffling around the coffee table and straddling his friend’s lap before he realizes what he’s doing. It’s ridiculously silly and Calum is cheering them on from the side, Luke finds himself giggling again even though he’d been so angry a few seconds prior. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing and there isn’t even any music playing, but he proceeds to give Michael a ‘lap dance’ of sorts.

“That isn’t a lap dance, Luke, oh my god,” Calum practically squeals, and he’s supposed to be counting but he’s laughing so hard that he’ll probably piss himself.

“He’s violating me!” Michael yells dramatically. “Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

When he’s unable to take any more because he’s laughing as well, Luke stops moving his hips and falls from Michael’s lap in hysterics. It really couldn’t be helped because they’re a bunch of drunken idiots, but that’s okay. He crawls back over to his previous spot on the floor and, in a moment of forgetfulness, glances up at Ashton.

Ashton is the only one who isn’t laughing his ass off. In fact, he isn’t even smiling. He has this strange expression on his face that isn’t exactly _angry_ , just… strange. It makes Luke feel weird, so he looks away.

Michael goes next and dares Calum to act like a stripper, which isn’t a problem for him. His hips gyrate to some imaginary tune and as he slowly removes his shirt, even Ashton starts to cheer him on. They all laugh and wolf whistle, tossing invisible wads of cash at him, but Calum refuses to remove his jeans because he expects _real_ money for his efforts, thank you very much.

Evidently, no one picks ‘truth’ when it’s their turn because this was much more fun.

“You two should kiss,” Ashton says when it’s his turn, motioning towards Calum and Michael.

Both boys glance at each other and, without a moment’s hesitation, connect their lips in a show-offy kiss. Even Luke is a little surprised by the effort that they put into it, their wet lips sliding together almost frantically until they pull away a few moments later, breathing heavily. Calum wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and smirks at Ashton, who seems pleasantly amused by the scene before him.

“I fucking _knew_ you were a voyeur,” Calum says, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Ashton merely shrugs. “Guilty. Can’t say I expected you guys to actually go through with it, though.”

“I’ve been kissing Calum since Year Nine!” Michael announces proudly. “So that was nothing.”

“He’s lying out of his ass,” Calum states bluntly.

Michael rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue with it. Instead, he leans against Calum again to whisper something into his ear. Whatever was said must’ve been funny because it makes Calum giggle almost anxiously, and he spares a brief glance in Luke’s direction. For some reason, it makes Luke nervous.

“Alright, it’s my turn,” Michael says once he leans back. There’s a mischievous little grin on his face when he addresses Calum again. “Now you have to kiss Luke.”

Just like the first time, Luke’s eyes widen and he sort of tenses up without meaning to. Calum is already crawling across the floor, though, and he stops once he’s sitting right in front of Luke. It’s obvious that it wouldn’t mean anything and they all know that, they’re best friends and they always mess around like this, but Luke is nervous nonetheless because he feels a pair of eyes burning into the side of his skull.

“Ready, Luke?” Calum asks, because the blonde boy seems to be completely frozen.

For no particular reason at all, Luke glances over to see the look on Ashton’s face. It shouldn’t matter what Ashton thinks and they haven’t even been interacting this entire game, mostly because of Luke giving Ashton the silent treatment and Ashton pretending not to be affected by it. But, it still feels weird to kiss someone else while Ashton is watching just a few feet away. After all, he’s the only person that Luke has been kissing for a while now. And in all honesty, there’s no one else that Luke would rather be kissing than him.

However, Ashton had hurt Luke and made him feel jealous, even though it was done unintentionally. This could be a chance to make _him_ feel what Luke had felt, and it’s a pretty fucked up way of thinking, but Luke is drunk and finding it hard to consider anyone else’s feelings but his own right now; plus, Calum is sitting right there, so why not?

With his heart thumping wildly in his chest, Luke cups both sides of Calum’s face and surges forward, bringing their lips together in a rough kiss. It’s rougher than he intended and Calum groans at the force, but now that he’s gone through with it, Luke doesn’t stop. He sucks on Calum’s bottom lip and fists his hands in the dark, thick hair on his head. Michael’s crude laughter can be heard in the background, but Luke only cares about the hazel eyes that watch their embrace. Ashton can’t be seen from this angle, but Luke _knows_ he’s staring. He can feel it.

Before Luke could do any more damage, Calum retreats from the kiss, gasping for breath and looking both surprised and amused.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Luke… you were supposed to _kiss_ me, not try and suffocate me to death!” he exclaims, laughing.

Luke shrugs but doesn’t say anything on the matter. His eyes wander over to Ashton again and there’s an anxious feeling in his gut when Ashton is staring back at him. Luke recognizes the look on his face—it’s the same one he had during that party when Luke had been talking to Alana—only this time it’s a little different. It seems more _intense_ , somehow, and Luke really wishes that he knew exactly what Ashton was thinking. They stare silently at each other for what seems like ages but, in reality, may have only been just a few seconds.

Ashton looks away first, and Luke feels an overwhelming amount of frustration. He has no idea why.

They stop playing shortly after that because they’re all equally exhausted and entering that drowsy stage of drunkenness, but also because of Calum’s unnecessary joke that they should turn the game into an orgy. Lying on the wooden floor as the storm continues to rage on outside, Luke feels cold. Cold, and a little lonely.

“Tonight I learned some pretty interesting things,” Ashton says suddenly. He lifts his head a little to see Michael and Calum on the other side of the table. “For instance, you two basically play for both teams—or, are willing to.”

Calum giggles when he understands the expression. “Wrong. I’m playing an entirely different sport, my friend. Like, I consider myself mostly-straight except for the third weekend of every month. Then, it’s an all-Calum buffet. Gotta spread the wealth, you know.”

“As you can see, Calum is the least functional one of us when intoxicated,” Michael chimes in, making both of them laugh. “Anyway, I’ve always liked girls but… but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want Leonardo DiCaprio to fuck me sideways on his kitchen floor.”

“Or Will Smith,” Calum adds.

Michael nods. “Yup, or Will Smith. Either will do, both is better. Other than that, I’m all for boobs.”

“Jesus,” Ashton chuckles, “you two are brutally honest when you’re drunk. I’m gonna have to make a mental note to get you drunk again, sometime.”

“Don’t get any weird ideas, you voyeur!” Calum shouts, and the three of them burst into laughter again.

Luke suddenly stands up, his long legs shaking a little under his weight. “I’m going to bed,” he announces.

Apparently it’s a good idea, because they choose to follow in his footsteps instead of ridiculing him for ending the night of ‘fun’. But, what wouldn’t be fun is falling asleep on the wooden floor where it’s cold and hard and guaranteed to give anyone a backache from hell; so making it to their respective bedrooms before they were too tired to stand was essential. However, it’s in this moment that Luke suddenly remembers he has to share a bed with Ashton.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” Calum asks Michael, who quickly denies him with a shake of his head.

“Every time we share a bed when you’re drunk, you get too touchy-feely and then steal all of the blankets. Well, I don’t feel like putting up with that tonight.”

“When have I _ever_ done any of that?” Calum huffs indignantly. “If anyone steals the blankets, it’s you! I only steal them when you steal them first.”

Michael still denies him, though. With a hopeful look on his face, Calum turns to Luke and Ashton as if sleeping with them would fix all of his problems, but Luke simply shakes his head. Even though Calum is only joking, there’s still some obvious tension between Luke and Ashton and it would probably be best not to get in the middle of it.

“Fine, I’ll sleep by myself since no one loves me,” Calum pouts, and when they all bid each other goodnight, they enter their own rooms and shut the doors behind them.

Luke feels incredibly awkward. It’s not as if he _has_ to sleep with Ashton as some sort of golden rule, and the couch is available for use; however, forcing Ashton to sleep on the couch as if they were a married couple in a deep argument would be a little too much. Plus, Luke decides that he really doesn’t want to sleep alone, after all. He’s gotten so used to sharing a bed with Ashton that it’s become strange _not_ to wake up next to another living body. Or, maybe it was just strange not to wake up with Ashton’s arms around him.

Regardless, Luke doesn’t say anything as they enter his room. It just wouldn’t be worth the effort. Besides, Ashton doesn’t seem to care that Luke isn’t giving him any attention, since he had seemed perfectly willing to joke around with Michael and Calum for the remainder of the night. Now that they’re alone, he still doesn’t say anything to signify any concern whatsoever.

So Luke closes the bedroom door behind them.

A split second goes by before he’s suddenly being pressed against said door, hands flying into his hair as a pair of lips roughly crash into his own. The action was so abrupt that it takes Luke another second to realize that Ashton is kissing him—scratch that, Ashton is kissing the _fuck_ out of him as if it had been years since their lips last met. Luke is unable to move because Ashton’s entire body is pressing him into that door and holy shit, there’s a hot tongue being shoved into his mouth and this whole situation is escalating way too fast.

It literally takes all of Luke’s inner strength to pull away from that breathtaking kiss. And, he almost instantly regrets it when he takes in the desperate look on Ashton’s face, those big hazel eyes that seem to ask _‘why did you stop?’_

But, Luke reminds himself that he’s still angry about what had happened. Maybe it’s stubborn of him, maybe it isn’t—who knows, he just has to put some space between their bodies before he gives up his resolve completely, because Ashton has that effect on him.

“…Don’t feel like it,” Luke mutters, but his actions betray those words, since his hands are still tightly gripping Ashton’s ass. He quickly lets go and slithers away from the door, now that he isn’t being firmly pressed against it anymore.

Ashton doesn’t seem to agree with that decision.

“What the fuck, Luke?” he growls, clearly frustrated. “Why the hell are you so angry with me?”

Maybe it takes Luke a little too long to answer as he focuses on removing his skinny jeans without falling, which isn’t an easy task to accomplish when you’re still intoxicated. He manages to get it done without any mishaps, though, and then he’s just sort of stalling for time.

“I’m not angry at you,” Luke finally mumbles, and of course it’s a bad answer.

“Yes, you are! Otherwise, you wouldn’t have pretended that I didn’t exist for half the night,” Ashton exclaims. He makes his way to the other side of the bed, but Luke doesn’t pay any attention to his actions. He could hear the sound of Ashton getting undressed and watching him wouldn’t be helpful at all, so he doesn’t look.

Instead he lies down on the bed and faces the opposite way, deciding to be just a bit more difficult. It’s what he usually did when he was upset: pretend that nothing was wrong and frustrate the person even more as some sort of small, vengeful act.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Luke mutters unhelpfully.

There’s a loud, exasperated sigh and the mattress sinks a little as Ashton climbs in on the other side. Luke doesn’t turn over, but he can tell that Ashton is facing him in a sitting position.

“You’re lying,” Ashton points out. “You said that you wouldn’t lie to me anymore.”

That last statement catches Luke off guard, and it isn’t fair because yes, he had said that, but now it makes him feel bad when Ashton is the one who should feel bad. Not Luke. Luke didn’t do anything wrong, and maybe he’s being childish about this whole thing and should just tell Ashton what’s bothering him, but he also feels like Ashton should already know. And, because he _doesn’t_ already know, then maybe it’s just not important enough.

“It’s… it’s not that important, okay? It really isn’t. So, just go to sleep,” Luke tries, but of course it doesn’t work.

“It’s important to me if I’ve done something to make you hate me,” Ashton says, much quieter this time.

And that is just _ridiculous_. Luke could never hate Ashton even if he tried—not that he ever would try. But, the implication that he does hate Ashton makes him feel really uncomfortable, and Luke finds himself rapidly losing his resolve.

“What? No, Ash, that’s not even… I don’t hate you at all—”

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

This time Luke turns around without a second thought, because he’d never want Ashton to assume such a thing. Ever. When he finally takes in the expression on Ashton’s face—the frustration, worry, and sadness—Luke instantly feels like a piece of shit.

“I… I don’t know, I just…” he stammers at first, but then lets out a frustrated sigh because he hadn’t meant for it to happen like this. “I’m being stupid, okay, I’m stupid and drunk and I shouldn’t even… I shouldn’t care about all the things that you did with other people, it’s none of my business and it shouldn’t _matter_. I don’t know why I’m so angry, but it’s not at you—I’m angry at myself for feeling like this in the first place, and…”

“So you were jealous?” Ashton asks, interrupting the long tangent that he’d gone on.

Luke remains silent. He’s glad for the pouring rain that beats against the window because it drowns out the sound of his heavy, nervous breathing. Inside the tiny bedroom, everything is still—a deep contrast to what was going on outside. Luke isn’t sure what to say next, but suddenly he feels a warm hand on top of his own and he isn’t hurting so much anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Ashton says, his tone especially soft now. It’s almost soothing. “I didn’t mean to make you jealous, Luke.”

Luke readily shakes his head. “You shouldn’t have to apologize. I realize I’m just… being really stupid right now.”

“Stop saying that, you’re not stupid.” Ashton shifts so that they’re finally at eye level, and he waits until Luke is looking at him again before speaking. “You’re a genius and the smartest boy I’ve ever met. Don’t you know that?”

Luke squirms a little under Ashton’s gaze, feeling his face begin to heat up. It doesn’t make any sense. He was an angry, pouting mess just a minute ago, and now all he wants is to kiss Ashton and be held by him and forget all that had happened tonight. He’s still kind of jealous and it sucks, but all of the really negative emotions are gradually slipping away, somehow.

“I promise I won’t talk about that stuff in front of you anymore,” Ashton goes on. “The boys and I were just having a bit of fun, but it was still… inconsiderate? I think that’s the word. I really am sorry, Lukey.”

Luke chews on his bottom lip, nodding. “It’s okay…”

“Are you still angry? I understand if you are.”

“No, not really,” he mutters.

Ashton smiles and his eyes flicker down to Luke’s lips for a moment, before looking back up and raising a brow in question. Luke knows what he wants, and he wants it just as much, so he nods again and closes his eyes as Ashton leans forward to gently kiss his lips. It’s soft and sweet, but Luke wants more. He wants to be touched and caressed and reminded that, even though Ashton could probably hook up with anyone that he wanted, he chooses Luke time and time again.

So Luke cups the back of Ashton’s neck and tugs him closer, an action that Ashton has come to recognize as Luke’s way of saying that he wants him on top. As anticipated, Ashton straddles him without breaking the deep kiss and slides a hand underneath his shirt, caressing Luke’s skin in the way that he likes. Naturally, Luke decides that this is _much_ better than giving Ashton the silent treatment.

“Wanna know something?” Ashton whispers against his lips.

Luke hums, though it’s mostly due to the rhythmic way in which their hips slowly rocked against each other.

“I didn’t… I didn’t like seeing you do that stuff with them. It made me jealous—almost angry, in fact. But I guess I deserved that,” he says, lips trailing along Luke’s jawline now. “And I know that it was just a game, but like, I still felt that way.”

That comes as a surprise to Luke, because he knew that Ashton could get jealous, but he didn’t think that that jealousy would ever be directed towards his friends. Like, seriously? Luke loves Michael and Calum, he really does, but someone being jealous of them is almost unfathomable. They’re three silly teenagers who are basically like brothers, even though they have no problem kissing each other just for kicks, but whatever. It’s still weird to hear that. So, maybe Ashton is only saying this stuff because he’s still drunk. It makes more sense, that way.

“I hated seeing you in Michael’s lap like that,” Ashton confesses, and Luke gasps when those teeth lightly nips into the skin of his neck. “And when you kissed Calum the way that you did… I just—I wanted to take you right then and there, Luke. I wanted so badly to just fuck you on that wooden floor while they watched and that’s… that’s pretty weird, I guess, but that’s how I felt.”

Luke can’t help the deep groan that rumbles in his throat upon hearing all of that, because _shit_. That’s really fucking hot. Never before has Ashton sounded so possessive and never has Luke imagined that he would like it so much. Again, he blames it on the alcohol. It’s much easier to do that than to think about what this could mean for them. After all, they aren’t in a relationship so this amount of jealousy shouldn’t be occurring at all, right?

Ashton grinds down harder against him, and Luke thinks he could come from that alone.

“I wanted to make you mine.”

“I-I am yours,” Luke blabbers incoherently, getting lost in the feeling and everything that Ashton is saying. “I’m yours, Ash… only yours.”

Luke opens his eyes when Ashton is no longer moving against him or kissing his neck, which is absolutely _outrageous_ —he’s about to start whining about it when he takes in the familiar gleam in Ashton’s eyes. Ashton is hovering directly above him with a ravenous expression on his face, like he could hardly wait to eat Luke up. And, well, that’s exactly what Luke wants. More than anything, in fact.

“I wanna make you feel good,” Ashton whispers, voice dripping with lust now. “Can I do that for you, Luke?”

Luke was nodding eagerly before Ashton had even finished that sentence. “Okay.”

Ashton doesn’t waste any time. He climbs off of Luke and situates himself between those long legs instead, already tugging at the waistband of his boxers. Luke obediently lifts his hips to let Ashton remove them, and by now he’s gotten used to the way that Ashton always takes in the sight of him before actually doing anything. So, the subsequent staring doesn’t bother him at all.

Luke realizes that he’s still wearing his shirt, the hem pushed all the way up to the middle of his waist, but Ashton doesn’t bother removing it for him. He’s already in that familiar position between Luke’s thighs and hey, Luke isn’t going to stop him.

Ashton begins by slowly dragging the tip of his tongue from the head of Luke’s cock down to the hardening shaft. Luke lets his eyes flutter shut and his head fall back into the pillow, loving it already. God, blowjobs are the greatest things in the world. Luke loves blowjobs. Every time that Ashton gives him one is like a religious experience. If Luke dies young, he hopes that it’s because he received a blowjob that felt way too damn good so it killed him. That’s the stupidest thought he’s had all day, but Ashton’s mouth is both a blessing and a curse that makes him think all sorts of crazy things.

Speaking of crazy things, Ashton’s tongue travels over his balls but doesn’t come back up like it usually does, instead going lower and lower until…

“What are you d-doing?” Luke asks in a rushed whisper, upon feeling Ashton’s tongue glide over his hole. That’s never happened before, and for a second there, he wonders if Ashton was literally too intoxicated to remember where the dick was, since he damn near missed it by a mile.

Ashton glances up at him through those long eyelashes. “Just… trust me? I’ll stop if it turns out you don’t like it.”

Luke gulps, hard. But he’s already nodding and he doesn’t know why.

“Okay…” he whispers, and then quickly adds, “I trust you.”

So Ashton gives him a reassuring smile and instructs him to bend his knees, which Luke does without hesitation. It feels a little strange when Ashton repositions him so that his ass is in the air, but he doesn’t say anything, only waits as his curiosity rises.

Soon enough, the feeling of something warm and wet is prodding at his hole again and Luke begins to squirm, eyes blown wide because it’s _weird_. It’s weird, unfamiliar, and Luke almost shies away from the strange contact but he can’t. This new position doesn’t allow him to move much and Ashton’s large hands have a tight grip on him, anyway. In the back of his mind he vaguely wonders if he should let Ashton continue doing this, but even more so, he doesn’t think he wants Ashton to stop.

Ashton’s tongue circles the rim of his hole in slow motions, getting him used to the feeling before doing anything more.

“Is this okay?” he asks, his breath incredibly hot against Luke’s entrance.

Luke thinks he says yes but he isn’t quite sure. He feels like he’s already losing his mind over this strange, new sensation that’s beginning to make his entire body shake. Ashton is slowly licking in and out of him now and Luke doesn’t know how much more he’ll be able to take. He bites his knuckles to keep from making too much noise, but it isn’t doing much at all to help.

Ashton has the nerve to chuckle at Luke’s inability to control the sounds that pour from his trembling lips, but Luke can’t find it in himself to be annoyed or embarrassed. Not when Ashton’s tongue is fucking into his hole and making him feel a whole new level of pleasure that he’s never experienced before. The burning sensation in Luke’s tummy is building up faster than ever, his neglected cock painfully hard and dripping precome from the slit. Maybe it was too soon but, fuck it, Luke wants to come. He _needs_ to come.

“Touch m-me,” he whimpers loudly.

Ashton doesn’t obey him. He continues licking the inside of Luke’s walls for a few seconds before retracting his tongue—and _Jesus Christ_ , the entire area around his mouth is wet with spit and Luke shouldn’t find that as hot as he does. He shouldn’t take in the sight of Ashton’s plump lips and heavy panting as he catches his breath, and nearly come from how sexy it is. Seriously.

“I am touching you,” Ashton claims. He licks a rough stripe across Luke’s hole again, eliciting a sharp gasp from the younger boy. “See?”

What a teasing bastard. Luke would kick him in the face if he could.

Maybe.

Nah, he wouldn’t.

“My _dick_ ,” he clarifies, deciding to beg instead. “Want you to… t-touch my dick… _please_.”

Ashton smiles, but he still doesn’t do as Luke asks. He presses a single kiss to the entrance of Luke’s hole before diving his tongue back inside, licking much deeper this time, making Luke cry out in pleasure. It’s beginning to be too much, way too much, but it feels so fucking _good_ , too; and maybe it’s wrong, but Luke doesn’t want this feeling to ever stop. Soon enough, he couldn’t even register the sound of his own cries anymore.

Finally, after what seems like ages of endless torture, Ashton uses one of his hands to reach around and grip Luke’s swollen cock. The amount of bliss that the contact instantly grants him is enough to cure the world of everything bad, probably. As for now, it’s just enough to make Luke come on the spot. That’s basically what happens, anyway, because Ashton pumps him maybe three times before Luke is coming with shaky sobs that vibrate throughout his whole body.

He passes out soon afterwards.

***

The next morning, Ashton is all over him. Not in a sexual way, but basically, he doesn’t leave Luke’s side. Luke doesn’t have a single problem with that, either. Given the previous night’s activities, he wakes up with a shitty hangover and exhausted limbs that won’t obey any of his commands whatsoever. Since Ashton’s hangover is not nearly as bad, he spends most of the morning taking care of Luke to help him feel better. They cuddle in bed, dozing on and off and speaking in low-whispers when they’re both awake at the same time. It’s really nice, if Luke says so himself.

Eventually, he feels well enough to go about the day as per usual, so they get out of bed around noon; it had been pretty early when they awoke the first time. Luke is incredibly hungry but he’s still afraid that his stomach will reject whatever he puts into it, so he shares a little bit of fruit with Ashton before they shower together. This time Ashton really is all over him in a sexual way, and once again, Luke thinks it’s really nice.

They’re cooped up in the big armchair sometime later, limbs overlapping but there’s just enough space so that they’re relatively comfortable. They had decided to watch a rerun of _How I Met Your Mother_ on Netflix, but neither of them are paying much attention to the television screen. It feels really domestic, lazing about in the early afternoon, doing nothing in particular. Luke loves it.

Ashton suddenly pokes him in the cheek. “What do you wanna do today?” he asks.

Luke hums as if he’s thinking about some sort of outdoor activity to immerse themselves in, but in all honesty, he’s content to just sit there with Ashton for as long as time will let him.

“I don’t know. What do you wanna do?” he murmurs at last.

Ashton giggles, and then pokes him again for no particular reason. “I don’t know, what do _you_ wanna do?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do,” Michael interrupts them upon entering the room. “Gag. For, like, the seventh time today.”

Come to think of it, he does look a little green. They watch as he disappears into the kitchen before returning a moment later, a tall glass of water in his hands and he sits on the edge of the couch. A sleeping Kiwi is taking up the rest of the space.

“You look like shit,” Luke comments, and he grins at the evil glare that Michael sends his way.

Surprisingly, Michael doesn’t retort with an insult, instead deciding to silently sip his water. And that was worrisome, because he _always_ had to say something back. Always. He must feel especially sick today, then.

“Say—why the hell is Calum sleeping on the couch, anyway?” Michael asks after a moment.

A second later, Calum’s head rises from the mess of blankets and pillows that covered him up, apparently not actually asleep at all.

“Do you _really_ wanna know why Calum is sleeping on the couch? I’ll tell you why Calum is sleeping on the couch,” Suddenly, Calum points a finger at Luke and Ashton, a deep frown set on his face. “Those two decided that it would be a _marvelous_ idea to have sex as loudly as possible, so that even the rainstorm couldn’t drown them out! At first, Calum literally thought that Luke was being murdered. But no, that was just Ashton touching him inappropriately.”

Michael makes a disgusted face while Ashton lets out a high-pitched giggle, obviously finding it to be funny. Luke can feel his face rapidly heating up and he bites his lip, trying not to smile. It’s embarrassing, yes, but he’s in too much of a good mood to feel humiliated. And why should he? Ashton is really fucking good with his tongue, okay, so it isn’t Luke’s fault that he couldn’t keep the noise down to a minimum.

“Sorry, Calum!” Ashton says, but he couldn’t stop giggling so it hardly sounds like a genuine apology at all.

“Calum doesn’t want your apology! He wants his innocence back…” Calum mutters, and then he pretends to weep dramatically into the pillow.

“Right. As if you were _ever_ innocent,” Luke says.

“True. But last night proves that you’re probably the least innocent one in this room,” he replies with a smirk. “I don’t know whether to be incredibly proud or really disappointed.”

“Well, all I have to say is thank god for alcohol,” Michael grumbles, because despite the evil hangover that threatens to kill him, at least he had been able to pass out before being forced to listen to his friends having sex.

Calum hadn’t been so lucky.

When the conversation has finally shifted from their bedroom activities, Luke goes back to idly staring at the television with his head leaning against Ashton’s shoulder. It isn’t long before Ashton begins prodding at him again.

“Come down to the beach with me?” he says, because it’s more of a suggestion than a question.

Of course, Luke isn’t going to deny him. “Alright.”

Outside, the heavy scent of rain water still hangs in the air even though the sky is completely clear now. Ashton says that storms usually wash up really neat things along the shore, so they walk down to the beach and spend a while just searching through the sand. Luke learns that Ashton has a thing for collecting ‘pretty’ items, no matter what they are—so when Ashton picks up something that looks like an average rock to Luke, he doesn’t say anything. He simply smiles at the excited look on Ashton’s face as he adds the rock to his new collection of tiny seashells. It’s rather fun and relaxing, but Luke spends most of the time in his own thoughts.

Oddly enough, he can’t stop thinking about what Ashton had done to him the night before. It was _weird_ , but also really, really good. Good and intense. Like, Luke isn’t even sure how to describe it. Most of what they’d been doing so far consisted of handjobs, blowjobs, and rubbing up against each other; and Luke loves all of that. He really does. But last night had been different, and it was a good kind of different that Luke wouldn’t mind exploring a bit more, to be honest.

“Ashton?”

Ashton hums to show that he’s listening as he sifts through a bit of sand, examining something shiny. It appears to be a useless piece of metal, but he picks it up, anyway.

“About what… what you did last night,” Luke tries to explain, licking his lips anxiously. “That was, um, fun. I liked that. It felt really… good.”

Ashton looks up from where he’s crouched in the sand, a smile growing on his face when he stands so that they’re at eye level.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” he says, handing Luke the piece of metal. It turns out to be an old coin, which Ashton tells him to keep. “I don’t do that sort of thing for just anyone, y’know.”

Luke assumes that he had been referring to the coin so he tries to give it back, not wanting to ruin his collection. Ashton only laughs, shaking his head at the misunderstanding.

“No, silly,” he chuckles. “I’m talking about that _thing_ that you liked so much? Yeah. I don’t do that for just anyone, so take it as you will.”

“Oh,” Luke murmurs, a deep blush setting in because Ashton is basically saying that he’s special. “Well, um… I liked it a lot, so I was thinking that maybe it would be fun to try other things, too? I mean, if you want. I don’t mind. Except, I’m not sure what I would even _like_ or not, so… so I wouldn’t know where to start because I’ve never tried anything, and—”

“Basically, you’d like to experiment a bit? See what turns you on most?” Ashton suggests, because Luke honestly couldn’t find the right words. But yeah, that was the gist of it.

“Mhmm,” Luke nods, letting out a relieved sigh. “How did… how did you come to find out what you liked?”

Ashton is humming again as he moves to search in a different spot, and Luke follows closely behind.

“Well, I tried them, first of all,” Ashton says, pressing his heels deeper into the wet sand and smiling, amused at the footprints that they left. He’s kind of like a child, sometimes. “I tried different things with people. Some things I liked, others I didn’t. And that’s okay, obviously you’re not going to like _everything_ … but, I think the most important thing is to learn what you like on your own, first. Get to know your own body, and go from there.”

“You mean...?”

“Yes, Luke, I’m talking about masturbation,” he giggles, nudging the blonde boy with his shoulder as they walk side by side now. “People can help you figure out what you like, but I think sometimes it’s easier to discover those things when you’re just... touching yourself.”

Luke slowly nods, flipping the old coin over and over again between his fingers. Those words further spark his interest and he gets a sudden idea that makes him smile with excitement, although there’s also a bit of nervousness in there somewhere. It’s not enough to change his mind, however.

Determined, he reaches out and grabs Ashton’s hand so that they’re no longer walking but facing each other now, the foamy seawater washing over their bare feet as it meets the shore and retreats again.

“I’d like to discover those things with you, Ashton,” Luke says with confidence. “Would you help me?”

Ashton seems surprised at first, his hazel eyes going a little wide at the straightforwardness of that request. However, it quickly becomes obvious that he thinks it’s a good idea, too, because an intrigued grin takes over his features. He nods and squeezes Luke’s hand.

“It’d be my pleasure, Luke.”

***

Luke is lying on his back on top of Ashton’s comfortable mattress, naked except for his boxers. Ashton is only in his underwear, too, but that’s only so Luke wouldn’t feel nervous—and he doesn’t, in this moment. Not really. They don’t plan on having sex but they are going to do something else, and the butterflies in Luke’s tummy are more from excitement than nervousness. He feels comfortable with Ashton sitting between his legs, gazing down at his bare body yet somehow able to contain himself. Luke thinks the effort that he’s putting into this is really sweet.

“Um…”

Ashton seems to snap out of his daze upon realizing that Luke was waiting for instructions.

“Right. So, um… what do you usually do first when you’re masturbating? I guess we can start there, if you’re ready.”

Luke swallows and gives a curt nod, his hand already moving down to slide into his boxers. Ashton’s eyes follow the movement but he stays silent, observing. So, Luke wraps his hand around his cock and strokes himself twice before Ashton suddenly speaks up, startling him a little.

“Stop,” Ashton says, and it’s soft yet still commanding and Luke doesn’t know how the fuck he manages to do that. His eyes look back up at Luke’s face and he grins. “Basically, you like to get straight down to business. That’s not a bad thing, but… let’s try something else this time. I want you to take it slow and just… enjoy the feeling, instead of worrying about reaching an orgasm. Is that alright?”

Luke quickly nods again, but then he’s not really sure what to do because, well, isn’t that the point of masturbating? To get off? How the hell is he supposed to masturbate without touching his dick? As far as Luke knows, he doesn’t have any other genitalia to speak of. Also, he passed Sex Ed with flying colors, okay, so he knows that he isn’t missing anything.

He glances up at Ashton for help or a few tips or _something_.

“What I like to do is start with my hands on my chest,” Ashton says, “and like… slowly drag them across my torso—it feels good when it’s just my fingertips. But not too lightly, otherwise it’ll just tickle.”

Luke takes the advice into consideration and places his hands on his bare chest. It feels alright when he slowly glides them along his skin, up and down his torso in the way that Ashton had described. It doesn’t immediately make him feel hot and bothered like touching his dick does, but it’s relaxing and he lets out a deep sigh.

After doing that for a short while, Ashton clears his throat and gives him another tip.

“I have really sensitive nipples, so I—um, I like to play with ‘em, it really gets me going,” he mutters. “You should give it a try.”

Luke opens his eyes—they had drifted shut on their own somewhere along the way, since he was so comfortable—and glances up again to meet Ashton’s gaze. It instantly makes Luke smile to see the amount of fascination on someone’s face just from watching him feel himself up a bit, because Ashton looks absolutely enchanted. His eyes are wider than usual, mouth agape and he repeatedly licks his lips for no real reason at all. Luke knows that this sort of thing is one of Ashton’s kinks, which is one of the reasons that he had suggested they do this.

With that in mind, Luke sticks a finger in his mouth to lather it in saliva before taking Ashton’s advice and playing with his nipples. There’s a feeling of great satisfaction inside of him when Ashton intakes a sharp breath from above, watching intently as Luke’s slick finger rubs over the pink nipple until it hardens. In all honesty, Luke thinks he’s receiving more pleasure from Ashton staring at him than from the way that he’s touching himself.

Ashton tells him to make use of the hand that isn’t preoccupied with his nipple, so Luke lightly trails his other hand down his neck, across his sharp collarbones, and all the way down to his bellybutton where he traces his fingers around the area. The increasing stimulation along his upper body and Ashton’s staring is making him excited, and Luke can feel himself getting hard even though he hasn’t been touched below his hips.

He really wants to, though. He wants to touch himself down there now and he asks Ashton if he can, a wave of relief flowing over him when Ashton nods his consent.

However, he stops Luke _yet again_ when Luke reaches into his boxers to relieve himself.

“Not so fast,” Ashton giggles, gently pushing his hand away. Luke whines, but he doesn’t give in. “Slowly, remember? You’ll come, I promise, but there’s no need to rush.”

Ashton guides Luke’s hand with his own, letting him feel the lump in the fabric of his boxers but not allowing him to touch any flesh, yet. It’s beginning to be torturous, and Luke’s dick twitches at the soft caressing that it receives through the material. Luke doesn’t want to come in his underwear, but he wonders if Ashton will make him at this rate. There’s already a bit of precome seeping into the boxers, making a little wet spot where the head rests. He wants to stroke himself so fucking badly, but even more so, he wants to obey Ashton—wants to make him proud.

Luke definitely has a praise kink.

Ashton only lets him do so much as trail his fingertips up and down the area through his boxers, but it feels surprisingly good and different because Luke has never been so… _gentle_ with himself before. It’s actually quite nice. Ashton says something along the lines of, _‘it’s the only body you have so you have to treat it with special care’_ and it makes Luke want to roll his eyes, but he also thinks Ashton may be right. It surprises him further when he finds himself moaning a little, which is something he never really does while masturbating until he’s close to coming.

Now, his body is tingling all over and he still has one hand idly roaming along his chest while the other teases his dick through the fabric, it’s so soothing yet still manages to turn him on. Ashton’s presence only makes it a thousand times better.

“Do you wanna take these off now?” Ashton asks him in a gentle whisper, tugging the hem of his boxers. It sends a chill down Luke’s spine.

Luke licks his lips and nods enthusiastically since he’s been ready from the start. Finally, Ashton helps him remove the underwear and when Luke is fully naked, he thinks his entire body flushes from the way that Ashton admires him. Yeah, he’s gotten used to the staring and he isn’t embarrassed anymore, but he still blushes when Ashton calls him beautiful. Luke used to think it was a joke at first, because his body wasn’t sculpted by the Greek gods like, say, Calum’s body. But Ashton repeats it to him almost every single time.

“You’re gorgeous, Luke,” he murmurs, and he looks like he’s about to reach down and touch Luke until he remembers that they’re not doing that this time. Then, he seems frustrated.

“You alright?” Luke asks, chuckling a bit because Ashton seems so conflicted right now as he stares at Luke’s body and his hardened cock.

Ashton lets out a deep breath, restraining himself. “I’m fine, yeah… don’t worry about me. This is about you and… and making _you_ feel good.”

Too sweet.

Ashton is too fucking sweet.

Luke swears to god that he’ll get cavities from this human embodiment of sunshine, sugar, and all things warm and sweet in the world.

“You can touch yourself, now. Just remember to go slow,” Ashton says.

The anxious and slightly adorable whimper that sneaks past Luke’s lips when he finally has a hand on his dick was totally intentional, okay. It feels so good that he has difficulty controlling himself at first, so Ashton reaches out and guides his hand again, setting the pace for him. Then, he takes Luke’s other hand and places it on his balls, showing him how to massage himself and where it feels especially mind-blowing. The gentle rubbing of that area as well as the slow stroking of his cock has Luke breathless in a matter of seconds. Never before has he done both at the same time, and now he really wishes that he had.

He’s moaning so vocally now that he almost misses Ashton’s words of encouragement.

“That’s it, Luke, you’re doing great… it feels amazing, doesn’t it?” Ashton says, his own excitement quite visible in his voice. In fact, he doesn’t even notice when he starts lightly stroking Luke’s thighs because he’s so enamored by the sight in front of him. It takes the increase in Luke’s heavy panting for him to realize that it’s because of what he’s doing—and then he quickly retracts his hands.

“No,” Luke whines shamelessly, “don’t stop… p-please don’t stop, Ash.”

Ashton raises a brow and he curiously reaches out, placing his hands along Luke’s inner thighs and caressing them again. The instant reaction that he gets from the younger boy proves his theory to be correct and he smiles, leaning down to press a soft kiss to one of Luke’s knees.  

“Sensitive thighs, huh?” he giggles.

And it’s most certainly true. Ashton’s fingers grazing along the soft skin of Luke’s thighs is making him feel all sorts of good things and he has to say that, yes, this is definitely a profound discovery. His legs are starting to shake and it only becomes worse as Ashton murmurs random praises to him again. All of it combined is enough to keep him hovering just below the point of orgasm, the pleasure having built up so gradually that all he needs now was a single push to make him spill over the edge.

“Do you wanna go faster?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Luke cries out, and it’s an effort not to stroke himself as fast as he could until he came, which is what he really _wants_ to do. He wants to do that but he can’t, because Ashton hasn’t given him permission yet. “I-I wanna go f-fast… can I? Can I p-please…?”

Ashton doesn’t answer him right away. Instead he hums, letting his warm fingers trail from Luke’s thighs until they reach the area just below his scrotum. Luke’s eyes go wide when he feels Ashton lightly knead his perineum and it’s _so fucking good_ —Ashton glances back up and when their gazes meet…

…he smirks.

“No,” he says firmly, pushing his knuckles deeper into that spot and Luke cries out again as he comes anyway, spilling all over his hand and lower belly. Whereas he had felt light before, now his entire body feels heavy and he goes completely limp.

“Damn,” he hears Ashton mutter from above, awestruck. But Luke’s eyelids feel just as heavy as the rest of his body so he keeps them closed, and it comes as a surprise when there’s a hot tongue sliding along his skin, licking up some of the come.

The mattress dips as Ashton lies down next to him soon afterwards, using a hand to gently caress Luke’s heaving chest. When Luke finally does open his eyes again, he’s met with a warm smile and those gorgeous eyes that he adores so much. Maybe a little too much, but he doesn’t care right now. He just gave himself one of the best orgasms of his life, after all. He’ll definitely have to masturbate just like that, from now on.

“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Ashton whispers, and then presses a sweet kiss to Luke’s shoulder. “It was difficult, but I managed to hold myself back… mostly.”

Luke snorts at the semi-ridiculous statement but decides not to argue.

“You really liked watching me, huh?” he says instead.

“Mhmm,” Ashton nods with a grin. “Masturbation is almost as important to me as music—just almost. I love masturbating and making myself feel good, there’s all sorts of fun ways to do it, too.”

“…Thank you for being so honest,” Luke chuckles, almost wanting to cover his face from the explicit honesty of those statements.

Ashton only shrugs. “Luke, I just watched you jerk off and I’ve had your dick in my mouth so many times that I’ve lost count. Honestly? I don’t see a single reason why I should be modest with you anymore.”

“That’s… true. Very true.” Luke smiles and turns over with the bit of energy that he still has so that they’re facing each other. He tangles their legs together because it’s his favorite thing to do and it just feels _right._ “So, like… do you have toys and stuff that you sometimes use?”

“Yes, actually,” Ashton says, “I do—wanna see them?”

Luke smiles again but he politely declines. “That’s okay. Um, if you use toys, then… like, have you… have you ever tried, you know—”

“Are you trying to ask if I’ve ever tried anal sex...?”

Luke quickly nods but he’s a little offended when Ashton laughs at him.

And he’s _still_ laughing.

It’s not as if Luke was prudish or afraid to say the word, for god’s sake—he’s just never been too good at being straightforward, especially when it comes to topics like this. He was rather meek as a child and some of that meekness still resides within him, but he supposes that there really isn’t any reason to be modest around Ashton, either. Besides, he’s the opposite of modest around his two best friends, so why not.

“It isn’t that funny,” he grumbles, and he pokes Ashton in the gut before rephrasing the question. “Fine. Have you ever been fucked in the ass?”

Ashton seems pleasantly surprised by the sudden bluntness that Luke displays, although he’s still laughing a little when he finally does answer.

“So vulgar! But yeah, plenty of times,” Ashton says, returning the poke. “Anything else you’d like to know, Lukey boy?”

Luke chews on his bottom lip, thinking—there is something that he’s been curious about and would absolutely love to try with Ashton, but he’s been too nervous to bring it up due to certain details that he was aware of.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” he asks all of a sudden.

Ashton hums, shrugging. “A bit, yeah… but, that’s why lube is your best friend. With lots and lots of lube and enough foreplay, it won’t hurt nearly as much. You see, lube is used because—”

“I know what lube is for,” Luke interrupts, rolling his eyes. “You don’t have to teach me _everything_. I’m not that clueless.”

“Well excuse me, mister all-knowing-sex-guru,” Ashton retorts, sticking out his tongue. “Just trying to be helpful.”

Luke laughs a little, and with his fingers lightly trailing down Ashton’s spine, he gets yet another exciting idea.

“I think I know a way that you could be helpful.”

***

Luke’s face is now scrunched up in slight discomfort and he isn’t too sure how he feels about this anymore.

“That… that feels weird,” he mutters, trying to relax his body like Ashton had told him to but it’s _hard_. He obviously isn’t used to feeling an intrusion down there, so it’s an effort to get comfortable at all.

“I know,” Ashton murmurs, his other hand beginning to caress Luke’s skin to ease the discomfort. “It’ll get better, I promise.”

At this rate, Luke doubts that. Ashton’s finger feels so big inside of him and he knew that the guy had long fingers, okay, but he didn’t expect _this_. It’s weird but it doesn’t feel nearly as good as Ashton’s tongue the night before, which had also felt weird at first. But this sensation isn’t a combination of the two, it’s just plain weird.

They waited a bit until Luke had gotten his stamina back from that masturbation session, and then he had urged Ashton to put those fingers to good use. Except now, Luke is biting his lip, trying to keep from looking too pained because he doesn’t actually want Ashton to stop. He wanted to do this and he wanted Ashton to be the one to help him, so he puts up with the weirdness of it all.

Ashton moves his finger so incredibly slow to get Luke used to the feeling of being stretched open, and whenever Luke tenses up in discomfort, Ashton softly kisses him to distract him until his body relaxes again. After a while of doing just that, the pain gradually lessens to a dull ache and Luke is starting to breathe a little heavier than usual.

“Think you can handle another?” Ashton asks after some time, and the nervousness returns because it had taken Luke long enough to get used to one finger, so he isn’t sure about _two_.

He nods anyway. Because, well, he’s Luke.

So Ashton makes sure that the second finger is properly lubed up before inching it in, and he barely gets it past the first knuckle when Luke tenses up again, eyes going wide as he starts to squirm.

“Sorry, sorry,” Ashton whispers, immediately halting all movement so that Luke can adjust. He kisses Luke again and nearly yelps when his bottom lip is nipped a little too hard.

“That’s for having… s-such long ass fingers,” Luke grumbles, and then licks the wounded lip as some sort of apology.

“Hey now, don’t blame me for my majestic fingers! You seem to like them well enough when they’re wrapped around your dick,” Ashton huffs. Upon realizing that they’re bickering while his fingers are literally up Luke’s ass, he giggles softly. “I’m sorry, we can stop whenever you want, y’know.”

Luke considers it for two seconds before shaking his head. “No, don’t—don’t stop… you can go deeper, now.”

“You sure?”

“Mhmm.”

All at once, Ashton slides the finger in the rest of the way, causing Luke to let out a sharp grunt and a curse. He feels himself being stretched further as both fingers slowly fuck into him now, but he gets accustomed to it much more quickly than the first time. So Ashton gradually picks up the pace until Luke has become a panting mess beneath him. It’s actually starting to feel kind of good, and all discomfort has been pushed to the back of his mind in favor of the warmth inside of him.

“Better?” Ashton asks, twisting his fingers in a way that makes Luke whimper from the pleasure of it all. He doesn’t answer, though; he’s far too busy moaning and slowly grinding down on those wonderful fingers that he decides aren’t so bad, after all.

Suddenly, those fingers brush up against a spot that sends a spark throughout Luke’s entire body and his back arches off the mattress.

“ _Fucking hell_ ,” he curses aloud, because that was just about the greatest thing he’s ever felt before.

Ashton’s smile widens, clearly pleased with himself. “Ah, there it is!” he says, brushing his fingers against Luke’s prostate in an almost relentless manner now.

Luke’s toes curl and he’s squirming again but this time it’s for an entirely different reason. He knows what that spot is, but he never imagined that it would feel this intense—this amazing and mind-blowing to the point where it’s literally too much and he can’t register any other feeling aside from that. He’s shaking drastically again and it’s insane but he wants even _more_.

“More... w-want more,” he cries, urging Ashton to insert another finger.

Ashton looks a bit hesitant to do so—Luke isn’t sure, his vision gone a little fuzzy now—but soon enough he’s being stretched again and it’s so fucking _perfect_ he briefly thinks he might pass out before it’s even over.

His muscles repeatedly clench and unclench around Ashton’s fingers as they fuck him faster, making him feel as if he’s going crazy. _Ashton_ makes him feel like he’s going crazy, and it’s an effect that grows stronger with every passing moment of every single day that they spend together. Everything he does; every touch, every word, every glance basically drives Luke insane.

Now, as Ashton gazes down at him with that smile still plastered on his face, Luke wants to kiss him more than he wants anything else in the world. It might be an exaggeration due to the fingers ramming against his prostate and how he’s seconds away from coming, but then again, it might not be. As always, Ashton can tell exactly what Luke wants so he leans down again and connects their lips, allowing Luke to greedily lick into his mouth while never ceasing the movements of his fingers.

“Wanna see you come, baby,” Ashton whispers against his lips.

And…

He’s never called Luke ‘baby’ before. Not even jokingly. But, it sounds so perfect coming from his lips in that husky tone, echoing throughout Luke’s dizzy little head. And it’s just a word but it seems so sweet, endearing, and personal—as if he would always be Ashton’s baby and no one else’s. That word combined with everything else that Ashton was doing to him is what eventually sends Luke over the edge, making him come despite his dick remaining untouched the entire time. He hadn’t thought that such a thing was possible, but Ashton continues to surprise him.

Ashton is special like that.

***

“What’s wrong with Luke?” Calum asks, whispering into Michael’s ear.

Michael glances at with him with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, like… he’s just been sitting there the entire time, staring at the ceiling—a small smile on his face for no particular reason. It’s freaking me out but I’m also kind of worried, I guess.”

This time Michael glances over at Luke’s slumped body in the armchair, and sure enough, he had a happy little grin on his face as if the ceiling was the most interesting friend that he had. In all honesty, Michael had assumed that Luke had been napping this entire time, since he was so eerily silent.

“Should we call a priest?” Calum whispers again.

“Nah, I don’t think he needs to be exorcised just yet.” Michael turns back to the armchair to address their totally-not-possessed friend. “Hey, Luke. I was hungry so I ate the rest of your cereal. It was really good, too.”

Luke only spares him a brief glance and then shrugs. “Oh. That’s okay,” he mutters.

The other two boys glance at each other again, even more worried now. Michael hadn’t actually eaten the cereal, but usually Luke would get upset when people fucked around with his cereal supply, especially since they already had their own boxes. So, Luke’s lack of response was now a serious issue and while it’s unlikely that he’s possessed by a demon, it’s still a possibility.

“Wait… I think I know what’s wrong,” Michael suddenly says. “Hey, Luke—when’s the last time you had an orgasm?”

As expected, Luke’s head immediately snaps back over to them upon hearing that question and he’s already frowning, a subtle blush on his cheeks.

“Why the hell do you wanna know that?” he asks slowly.

“Science reasons,” Michael claims. “I bet it was really recent, though, you horny little thing.”

“Shut up,” Luke mutters weakly, slumping further down in the chair because Michael is _right_.

“I’m right, aren’t I? I know I am. C’mon, how long has it been? Thirty minutes?”

“Not telling you!” Luke replies, but a few seconds later he adds, “And that’s ridiculous, it’s been at _least_ two hours, for your information.”

“Aha!” Michael shouts with triumph. “He’s not possessed, Calum, he’s just stuck in some sort of post-sex haze.”

“I’m _what_?”

“Jesus,” Calum laughs, “you and Ashton are really going at it, huh? I’m almost jealous at the amount of action you’re getting, but at the same time, I’m quite impressed.”

Luke ignores all of that. “Why are we even talking about my sex life? Let’s not do that. That should be a thing that, like, we definitely don’t do. Ever. Right now especially.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “Don’t pretend to be shy! You should rejoice in your ability to get laid.”

“Be careful, though,” Calum warns. “Too much sex and your dick might fall off—don’t look at me like that, it can happen, I’ve seen it. And always use protection, too! STDs and unplanned pregnancies aren’t fun. Haven’t you learned anything from Mean Girls?”

Instead of arguing, Luke turns his back on them and curls up in the chair.

So what, he and Ashton have sex rather frequently. No big deal. His friends are over-exaggerating, though, because it’s not like he couldn’t go five minutes in Ashton’s presence without touching his dick or something. Coincidentally, they’ve been doing it a little more recently because Luke wanted to experiment. He wanted to do that with Ashton, who really doesn’t have a problem with it—so, it’s not as if Luke is addicted to sex now.

He just craves being close to Ashton. In every possible way.

“Can you imagine a pregnant Luke, though?” Michael suddenly says, ruining the short-lived silence.

“ _Mikey_ ,” Luke whines. “That’s not even remotely possible!”

“I was talking to Calum, not you!” he shouts back, sticking out his tongue. “But like, pregnant Luke. And we would be uncles.”

“Everything about that statement sounds problematic,” Calum snorts. “Oh! But imagine Luke being on an episode of Teen Mom. Except it would be Teen Dad, I guess. ‘Teen Dad: Eighteen-year-old Aussie Edition!’ or something. That show would be a hit, I bet.”

“I hate both of you very much,” Luke announces. Unfortunately he doesn’t have his earphones at hand so he can’t drown them out. Thus, he decides to retreat into his room until it was safe to come out again.

“Love you too, Luke!” Michael yells to him.

“I love you more than Mikey does!” Calum yells even louder.

It quickly breaks out into some sort of argument over who loves Luke the most and would be able to provide for his child if he really does get pregnant, but Luke _really_ doesn’t want to stick around to hear the end result of that dispute. So, he doesn’t.

***

“Is there a such thing as having too much sex?”

Luke isn’t gullible. He knows that having a lot of sex wouldn’t suddenly make his dick fall off, no matter what Calum had said. But, he’s still curious to know if too much sex is actually a thing. As far as he knows, it isn’t. However, he often came to find out that he was wrong about a lot of things, so it never hurt to double check with someone of more… experience.

Ashton turns his head to look over his shoulder, an amused grin on his face when he sees that Luke is serious.

“Do you feel like you’re having too much sex, Luke?”

Luke rapidly shakes his head. “No, no, that’s not what—I don’t feel like that. Not at all. No.”

The hastiness of that answer makes Ashton giggle. “So what’s the problem, then?” he asks.

“I guess… there isn’t a problem,” Luke says, shrugging. “It’s just something that Calum said, and it made me think.”

Ashton nods, idly beating his fingers against the mattress as he begins speaking again. “I don’t think there’s a… limit, when it comes to sex? I mean, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, healthy, being safe, and having fun, then hey. Fuck your brains out. Whatever makes you happy.”

Luke hums in agreement. It’s fun, what he and Ashton did together. In fact, at this very moment he’s lying cozily in Ashton’s bed, tired but quite satisfied with himself. His hole still aches a little and he feels empty down there, missing Ashton’s fingers inside of him. It was their second time doing that particular thing, and Luke is beginning to get used to it. He really hopes that someday soon, Ashton will fuck him with more than just his fingers. That’s what Luke wants the most, to feel Ashton inside of him and be closer than they ever were before. He feels like there’s enough trust between them to take it to the next level.

Yeah, that would be nice. For now, they simply stick to using fingers.

“I like having sex with you, Ash,” he mutters sleepily. “I mean, I like everything that we do together. Sex especially.”

Ashton giggles again and reaches back to brush a strand of hair from Luke’s sweaty forehead.

“I enjoy sex with you, too.” He pauses then, a hand still on Luke’s forehead as he gazes into those pretty blue eyes. There’s this weird tension that occurs between them, lasting for a few seconds before Ashton blinks and looks away again.

“At least you’ll have experience, by the time you get to university,” he continues, tone sounding a bit dreary now. “Then you’ll be exploring the wonders of sex with other people. You know, without… without the added nervousness.”

For some reason, Luke doesn’t like the sound of that.

He watches as Ashton gets up from the bed, muttering that he’ll be right back as he exits to go to the bathroom. It doesn’t excite Luke to think about letting other people see his naked body. It doesn’t excite him to think about letting other people touch him in the same ways that Ashton touches him—they probably wouldn’t do it right, anyway. Even if they did, it still wouldn’t be how Ashton does it. Ashton knows exactly what makes him feel good the most, and Luke knows how to make Ashton feel good, too. Why would he want to do it with anyone else?

That’s when Luke’s heart sinks into his stomach, because he reminds himself that Ashton isn’t his. And technically, he isn’t Ashton’s. Of course he’s going to eventually sleep with someone else, because this thing with Ashton is only temporary.

They only have a couple of weeks left in the beach house, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is a nice contrast to this one, I think. Hope I didn't scare anyone away. Thanks for sticking with this so far and thanks for the lovely comments. ♥


	10. Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this update is a bit early, hope you don't mind! ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

* * *

 

“Today is the definition of _perfect_.”

Ashton opens one eye and smiles. “And why’s that?”

“Because it’s so warm,” Luke explains with a relaxed sigh. “It’s warm, not hellishly hot like it usually it. Just warm and peaceful. I could lie here for hours, to be honest.”

That’s exactly what he plans to do, in fact. He and Ashton are relaxing on the beach, sharing a big blanket beneath the sun’s rays. Luke is lying on his stomach and the sunshine feels divine on his bare back, which is much better than being baked alive. He feels unbelievably lazy, but happy. And why not? It’s a nice day out, the sound of the ocean waves in the background aids to their relaxation, and Ashton is by his side. So, what more can he ask for? This is paradise itself.

“It’s the perfect weather to do anything, really,” he mumbles.

Ashton hums softly, looking as if he was already asleep. “Like napping?”

Luke nods. “And fucking.”

Ashton laughs so loudly that he squeaks a little. “You’re always thinking about fucking!”

“I’m an eighteen-year-old boy,” Luke says, grinning. “It’s typically what we do.”

“God, you’re so bold lately.” Ashton scoots closer to him, a smile still on his pretty face as he urges Luke to roll over onto his back. Naturally, Luke obeys without question. Then Ashton has a hand on his face, thumb lightly stroking his cheek and he whispers, “I like it.”

Luke expects it when Ashton kisses him afterwards. It’s nice and slow, just as peaceful as the environment around them. He likes that Ashton always gives him the right type of kisses at the right moments. Ashton knows exactly when to be rough, gentle, slow, or desperate as they fumble at each other’s clothes. Although Luke hasn’t kissed that many people in his life, he firmly believes that Ashton’s lips are perfect and it won’t get any better than this.

When Ashton finally pulls away, he keeps his hand on Luke’s cheek, seemingly taking in every detail of his face. Sometimes he does that, just stares at Luke for a lengthy amount of time and for no particular reason at all. Luke always lets him.

“Has anyone ever told you that when your hair is like this, it kind of looks like a wave?” Ashton murmurs, letting his hand trail up to finger through Luke’s quiff.

Luke can’t help but laugh at that.

“Um… not until now,” he says. “Everything reminds you of the ocean, doesn’t it?”

Ashton smiles again and shuffles down a bit to rest his head on Luke’s chest.

“Can’t help it, I’m an Irwin.”

“So the rest of your family consists of mer-creatures, too?” Luke teases, absent-mindedly twirling a finger in Ashton’s curls.

“Yeah, pretty much,” he mutters.

Luke chuckles and lets his eyes drift shut again, assuming that the conversation is over. However, the last thing that he expects is when Ashton starts speaking again in that soft, nostalgic tone that he sometimes uses.

“When I was little, my dad used to take me to the beach all the time… I guess that’s how I eventually fell in love with it. I don’t remember how old I was, but Lauren was just a tiny little thing who cried a lot and the sound of the waves always calmed her. One time, I—” Suddenly, Ashton stops. “Sorry, you… probably don’t want to hear any of my boring reminiscing.”

“I do,” Luke quickly says. “I really, really do. Seriously, Ash—I spent a whole month wishing that I could make you comfortable enough to open up to me. Whenever I learn something new about you, it… makes me happy that you want to share these things with me.”

It’s eerily silent, after that. Luke was only speaking the truth, but he hadn’t expected to get no reaction at all from those words. As usual, his mind begins to panic.

“Shit, is that too weird?” he asks.

To his relief, Ashton laughs a little and begins drumming his fingers on Luke’s stomach.

“No, Luke, it’s not weird. I’ve just… never met someone who was so interested in me and my wacky life before.”

Luke isn’t too sure what he means by that, but Ashton doesn’t appear to be shutting him out, nor does he seem uncomfortable. So, perhaps what Luke is about to say next is okay, too.

“Well, now you have,” he says. “Tell me, I’m listening.”

So Ashton talks. He talks and Luke listens just as promised, a small smile on his face the entire time. It’s rare, but once in a while Ashton will randomly tell him things like this; stories and bits of information that he probably wouldn’t have told Luke a month ago. Luke had learned not to ask questions or prod where he wasn’t supposed to. The less he did that, the more Ashton opened up to him on his own. It works rather well, because Ashton is rapidly growing less reluctant to talk about his personal life.

Luke likes that a lot. He likes that Ashton trusts him and tells him things that he doesn’t tell anyone else. It feels really good to be relied on and cherished like that. He may be overthinking it, but it’s a good feeling nonetheless.

“All this talk about the ocean makes me wanna hit the waves,” Ashton says after some time. “Wanna surf?”

Luke groans, because he’d much rather lie there all day and listen to Ashton talk. Surfing is fun, yeah, and he gets better every time that he steps on the board; but, he’s feeling lazy and he’s fine with doing nothing at all. At least for one day. Ashton never lets him do that, though, because he’s a walking ball of energy that hardly ever stops moving. Luke loves it, but he also hates it sometimes.

Like right now, for instance.

“We already did that,” he whines. “Just lie here with me?”

Unfortunately, Ashton is already standing up from the blanket with a determined expression on his face. Yeah, Luke can tell that he isn’t going to win this one.

“We haven’t surfed together in two days,” Ashton states, as if two days without surfing is literally going to kill him.

Regardless, Luke stays right there on the blanket and begins to make grabby hands, wanting to cuddle some more. Just for extra effects, he uses his pouty lip to his advantage in hopes that it will make Ashton crack.

Ashton is stubborn, though.

“Okay, no surfing,” Ashton grumbles, rolling his eyes. “At least come for a swim with me.”

That proposition doesn’t sound as tiring, but Luke decides to continue being a little shit just because he wants to.

“Oh no, I’ve suddenly lost the ability to intake oxygen!” Luke shouts dramatically, and then pretends to choke on air. “I don’t think that I can… survive for much… longer.”

He hears Ashton let out an exasperated sigh and he’s probably rolling his eyes again, but Luke doesn’t see it because he’s, you know, playing dead and all. But, the sound of crunching sand tells him that Ashton is walking back over to him, so his plan is probably working.

“And you claim that Mikey’s the lazy one,” Ashton says, crouching down next to him.

Luke peeks one eye open. “That’s different, I have to deal with you day _and_ night—not that I’m complaining about the night part, but I require an intermission every now and then.”

Ashton chuckles softly. “What’s wrong, can’t keep up with me? I thought I was the old one, here.”

“You’re not old,” Luke says, then goes back to playing dead. “Now give me CPR, I’m still dying, you know.”

After a short moment, Luke considers giving up this little game of his since nothing happens, but then he feels Ashton’s lips connect with his own and he’s _won_. For once, he got Ashton to give in to his whim even though it’s usually the other way around. Luke always gives in to Ashton because he’s totally whipped, but also because Ashton does this thing with his eyes that makes whatever he’s saying sound very persuasive.

For now, Luke gets his way so he revels in it, kissing Ashton almost as if he’d never kissed him before. And it’s really cliché, making out on the beach like a couple during their honeymoon, but this vacation has made Luke gradually take a liking to cliché things.

Suddenly, there’s a ton of weight being pressed down onto his chest and Luke’s eyes fly open in surprise, because that actually kind of hurt. He glances down to find two hands on his chest, and upon glancing up, he sees Ashton staring down at him with an innocent expression.

“What? I’m just giving you CPR like you asked,” Ashton says, a tiny smirk visible on his lips now. He presses down on Luke’s chest again, making the younger boy whine and push his hands away.

“I’m going to get you for that,” Luke says, trying to sound serious but there’s a smile tugging at his lips, as well.

Ashton giggles and stands up, already running towards the water. “If you can catch me!”

Well, looks like Luke’s plan to relax in the warm sun has basically been ruined.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind at all. He jumps up from the blanket and runs across the sand, chasing Ashton as his lungs fill with laughter. When his feet splash in the cool water and he’s close enough, he launches forward and grabs Ashton from behind, arms wrapping around his waist to trap him. Ashton squeals and not even a second later they’re being pummeled by an oncoming wave, just big enough to make them lose their balance and fall into the wet sand.

Somehow, Luke ends up on his back again with Ashton on top of him and a piece of seaweed wrapped around his face. Before he can remove it, Ashton does it for him and he’s still giggling as he gazes down at Luke, those dimples in full blossom as usual. Nevermind what Luke had thought all those weeks ago, when he came to the conclusion that Ashton smiled like the sun.

Ashton _is_ the sun. He really is. He’s just as warm and bright and beautiful, and Luke firmly believes that without Ashton, the world would be a cold, lonely place unable to harbor any life.

“Well, ya caught me,” Ashton says, clearly out of breath. He’s still smiling, though. Luke never wants to see that smile go away.

And what can Luke possibly say in this perfect moment; the sun quite literally smiling down at him, a droplet of water from that honey-colored hair dripping down onto his cheek, and the familiar feeling of being sucked into their own little world?

Nothing, really. No words can express what he’s feeling, so he doesn’t say anything. Instead, Luke kisses Ashton again because that’s all that he can do, and he’ll keep kissing Ashton until he can’t anymore.

That was the plan, after all.

***

Cheese and crackers are a prime invention. Luke really likes cheese and crackers. He should probably eat a real lunch instead of stuffing his face with said cheese and crackers, but he has somewhere to be soon and making lunch sounds like a drag. Or, maybe he’s just getting lazier and lazier with each passing day.

Whatever.

With his cheeks puffed and full of crackers, he strolls into the living room and is rather glad to find Calum sitting on the couch. He likes Calum even more than he likes cheese and crackers, especially when he’s bored. Food can’t talk, but Calum can.

“What’re you doing?” he questions, plopping down onto the couch. There’s plenty of room on the cushions but Luke snuggles right up to his friend, anyway.

Calum’s reply is slow since he’s a little distracted.

“Texting,” he murmurs.

“Who? A girl?”

He replies a little quicker, this time. “You know, I was about to say ‘your mum’ but I remembered that I’m not thirteen and Liz can probably kick my ass.”

“Good call,” Luke snorts. By now, a third voice would’ve interrupted them to say something particularly snarky, and Luke glances around the room but he knows that they’re the only two people in the beach house, at the moment.

“Where’s Mikey?” he asks.

“Hanging with Lindsey somewhere, I think,” Calum answers.

Huh.

Luke hasn’t heard that name in a while, but now he’s totally interested in hearing more about this change of events.

“Really?” he asks. “So they’re like… okay? Even after that thing and whatnot?”

Calum laughs for some reason. “You mean the part about them not having sex again? Yeah, Luke, people can still casually hang out even after they’ve slept together once. I’m sure Mikey explained the situation to her and it’s really no big deal—communication can get you far in life, so take notes.”

That last comment has Luke rolling his eyes, but he doesn’t dwell on it.

“I mean, it’s great that they’re cool with each other and all, I just imagine it must be pretty awkward… well, if I were in that situation I know it would be.”

“You’re awkward with most situations, Luke.”

“Am not.”

“Are too,” Calum insists. “But, like, what if tomorrow Ashton decides he doesn’t wanna do any of that stuff with you anymore? Would you find it too awkward to hang out with him?”

That scenario ignites a really bad feeling in Luke’s chest. Like, it actually physically hurts to even think about it. Of course he would still want to be around Ashton even if they did stop kissing and touching and all that, but it would be a really difficult thing to process. As it already is, Luke still questions why Ashton likes being around him and doing all these things with him when there are cooler people out there, so the possibility of Ashton getting tired of him is constantly lurking in the back of his mind.

“He wouldn’t,” Luke murmurs at last, although he’s not even sure of his own words.

“Chill, it’s just a joke,” Calum says, playfully nudging him in the side. “I know he wouldn’t, Ashton is way too addicted to your legs, even though mine are so much better, but whatever.”

Again with the legs debate. Luke really doesn’t understand what’s so good about his legs, but it’s rather amusing whenever Calum brings them up because he’s _obviously_ jealous. For now, Luke will let him believe in that false claim if it makes him feel better.

“Speaking of Ashton, his shift ends early today so he’s taking me snorkeling. You should come with us.”

“Snorkeling,” Calum repeats under his breath, chuckling a little. “Such a funny word.”

Luke smirks. “Like moist?”

He very much expects the immediate death glare that he receives.

“Don’t start,” Calum warns him.

“Come snorkeling with us so that you can get moist, Calum.”

“Luke, I swear to god I will punch you in the dick.”

“No you won’t,” he taunts. “You’re way too moist… _moist moist moist moist_ —”

“Shut up or I’ll call Liz and tell her all the naughty things you’ve been doing!” Calum yells, covering his ears with his hands.

Luke finally does stop this time, and maybe his eyes go a little wide at the threat.

“You wouldn’t,” he says slowly, and he absolutely hates the sneaky little grin on Calum’s stupid little face.

“Try me.”

Calum wouldn’t do that. Of course he wouldn’t. Luke _knows_ he wouldn’t. Regardless, he stops with the teasing.

“Why don’t you wanna come?” he asks instead.

Calum shrugs. “Never said I didn’t, but I know I’ll just end up third-wheeling.”

“What? No you wouldn’t.”

“Yuh-huh, you and Ashton will be sucking each other’s faces off while I swim around and look at coral.” Calum then proceeds to obnoxiously make out with his hand, just to demonstrate.

“We don’t even do that!” Luke argues, because they really don’t. At least, not in front of other people if they could help it. He likes to think that they have more self-control than that. Calum doesn’t retract his statement, though.

“Fine,” Luke huffs. “Don’t come snorkeling, then. I’ll just tell Ash that you were too busy being a jerk.”

Calum hums, hardly even listening anymore since he’s staring at his phone again. “If Ashton wants me to come then I guess I will. Nothing better to do, anyway. I better not be a third wheel, though.”

“You won’t be,” Luke replies, but then he has to pause for a second. “Wait, you’ll come if you _think_ that Ashton wants you to, but you won’t come when I invite you? That’s way cruel.”

“It’s nothing personal!” he claims, laughing. “The spaghetti that Ashton made last night was godly, so the least I can do is make a guest appearance. When’s the last time _you_ made me any dinner, huh? I’d starve to death if we were married.”

Luke makes sure to roll his eyes extra hard at that comment. It’s nearly time for him to get ready to leave, though, so he makes the decision to end the conversation there and retreat to his room.

“It’s a good thing we’re not married, ‘cause I’d totally let you,” he says over his shoulder.

Calum’s pitiful little whine is rather satisfying to Luke’s ears.

***

Sometime later, they meet Ashton at the dive centre just as planned. There’s already a small group of people there, and even though the three of them are only snorkeling, Ashton still shows them all of the neat equipment that the divers will be using. All of it gets Calum a little overexcited, and he suggests that they immediately go and take diving classes to become certified divers. Luke barely manages to change his friend’s mind, once it’s been set.

In truth, Luke is glad that they’re only snorkeling because he doesn’t like the idea of diving into the depths of the ocean. And yeah, diving seems like a ton of fun and Luke’s sure that it is—however, nearly drowning has made him quite wary of deep water. Just the thought of going underneath the surface with only an oxygen tank to keep him alive really freaks him out. Like, a lot. Even though Luke has never had one, panic attacks didn’t seem like fun at all, so the whole scuba diving idea really isn’t his cup of tea.

“This thing feels weird against my crotch,” Calum says, tugging on his wetsuit for the fiftieth time, probably. They really didn’t need to know that information, but he seemed glad to share it.

“You don’t have to wear that, you know,” Ashton replies, giggling a little. “The water’s warm enough and we won’t be gone for too long, so you can take it off if you really want to.”

Calum quickly shakes his head at the suggestion. “No way. I feel like a professional, wearing this. I’m sure I’ll get used to the snugness. Who knows, I might even start to like it.”

“Way too much information,” Luke mutters. He’s kind of distracted with trying to loosen the straps of his mask, which were being ridiculously stubborn. After another failed attempt and almost dropping his gear on the floor, he’s aided by his usual rescuer.

“Let me help,” Ashton says. He lengthens the straps in one go and lifts the little mask over Luke’s head, positioning it over his eyes to let him try it out. It fits perfectly and feels kind of like wearing a pair of goggles, but without the subtle discomfort.

“Thanks,” Luke says, pushing the mask up a bit to rest on his head for now. Ashton smiles at him and Luke returns it with just as much sincerity and sweetness. He glances down at Ashton’s lips and, well, this would be a nice time to kiss him. In fact, it’s been a few hours since the last kiss that they shared—not that Luke was counting or anything—but it’s fair to say that another kiss is long overdue.

Just before he leans forward, Calum begins to speak and Luke is reminded that they’re standing in the middle of the dive centre with about a dozen other people around. Of course, it doesn’t matter what any of those people think, but Luke restrains himself nonetheless.

“So where are we going to snorkel at?” Calum asks, and then he’s trying to stifle a giggle because of the word that he finds oh-so amusing.

“Oh right, that’s the exciting thing that I wanted to tell you!” Ashton exclaims with a wide grin. “We’re going to Julian Rocks! How does that sound for a first-time snorkeling experience?”

“Who’s Julian?” Luke asks.

“And why does he have so many rocks?” Calum adds.

Ashton groans at the stupid little joke, but he shakes his head fondly and begins to explain with that same grin on his face.

“No, no—it’s a marine reserve! Julian Rocks is one of the best sites for diving in all of Australia, to be honest. We’re going there in a few minutes and it’s not that far away, either.”

Luke doesn’t know a single thing about Julian Rocks, but it sounds awesome so he says as much. Ashton tells them a little more about the place and what they’re going to do when they get there. Apparently, a small group of divers will be joining them on the boat ride to the reserve, although they’ll be doing their own thing further down in the sea while Luke and his friends stay near the surface. The more he hears about it, the more fun it sounds, and Luke can hardly wait to leave now.

However, approximately two minutes before their departure, Calum makes an announcement.

“I need to pee,” he says, tugging at his wetsuit again.

Luke sighs impatiently. “Seriously? We’ve been standing here for, like, fifteen minutes and you choose to go _now_?”

“Don’t get mad at me for staying hydrated!” Calum huffs. “Water is essential for survival. I promise it’ll only take a minute, okay?”

Ashton glances down at the invisible watch on his wrist. “Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight…” he counts slowly.

Calum spins around and darts across the room, almost bumping into an oxygen tank as he makes his way toward the bathroom. It’s quite the amusing sight, if Luke says so himself.

Suddenly, there’s a chin lightly resting on his right shoulder and Luke turns his head to find Ashton’s face extremely close to his.

“Hi,” Ashton says, and he plants a soft kiss on Luke’s neck that still manages to make Luke shiver a little.

If the sudden affection is anything to go by, he probably missed kissing Luke just as much as Luke missed kissing him.

“Hi there,” Luke replies, smiling at the same time that Ashton does.

“Are you excited to go snorkeling with me?” he asks.

Luke nods. “Mhmm. Very excited. Like, so excited that I could go streaking right now.”

Ashton giggles softly against his shoulder, and Luke feels his pulse quicken just a bit when there’s a warm hand situated on his hip. That happens basically every time that Ashton touches him, so it’s nothing new at all.

Lately, Luke has come to realize that it doesn’t always have to be in a sexual way, either. Sometimes his body just reacts like that because it knows that that hand belongs to Ashton, so his pulse quickens but not too much; it’s just a subtle thing. Whenever it happens, Luke feels an overwhelming amount of warmth and… _protection_.

It’s kind of strange, but mostly it’s good.

“Well, maybe we can go streaking together later on,” Ashton mumbles, and it’s a joke but it also sounds sort of like a promise.

Before Luke has a chance to say anything else, an unfamiliar voice interrupts their slightly intimate moment.

“Ashton?”

Both of them turn around to face the source of the voice and Luke is unsurprised to find a random guy standing there. Because, well, it was obviously a guy’s voice. He’s never met this guy before but he assumes that it’s one of Ashton’s buddies, since he seemed to have so many of them. Strangely enough, Ashton doesn’t immediately introduce Luke to the stranger like he usually does when they bump into someone he knows. Instead, he drops his hand from Luke’s hip and seems to stiffen up, for some odd reason.

“Hah, I knew it was you,” the guy says, grinning.

“What are you doing here?” Ashton asks him, and it comes out rushed as if he really didn’t want to be having this conversation so he might as well get it over with sooner.

“Well, I work here, remember?” he laughs. “What about you? Did you hope to finally get more of those free diving lessons I offered? ‘Cause I just _might_ be able to squeeze you into my schedule, if you’re down.”

“No,” Ashton quickly declines. “Just snorkeling with my friends.”

Luke basically just stands there the entire time, not really knowing what to say or if he should say anything at all. It isn’t really because he’s a little awkward—it’s that there’s some obvious tension between Ashton and this guy who apparently doesn’t have a name, and Luke can sense it. He can sense the tension and it feels wrong, especially since he’s never seen Ashton behave so coldly to someone before. In fact, he didn’t even think that Ashton was capable of such a thing.

This mystery guy doesn’t seem _bad_ , per se. He looks to be the same age as Ashton or maybe a year older. However, he’s just about the same height as Luke and he has dark brown hair that’s neither short nor long; an average haircut, basically. His eyes are nice, though. They’re a solid shade of green that don’t drift into the category of hazel like Ashton’s does. But, the most obvious thing about his appearance is that he’s pretty damn attractive. Luke doesn’t want to admit it, but he really is.

He’s attractive in a stereotypical kind of way, though. He’s tall and lean and has a rather good-looking face, but there isn’t anything really unique or majorly exciting about it. He isn’t breathtakingly gorgeous like Ashton is. He looks more like a random actor you’d see on television who is actually terrible at acting, but they cast him anyway because he’s pretty enough.

Yeah. This guy is attractive like a terrible actor. That’s definitely a mean thought to have about someone you’ve never met before, so Luke tries to ignore it.

Instead, he clears his throat. “Um…”

As if noticing a third presence for the very first time, the guy turns his attention to Luke and smiles just like an actor would, too.

“Oh, hi,” he says. “I’m Nathan. Are you Ashton’s brother or something…?”

Luke instantly frowns and shakes his head at that absurd suggestion for numerous reasons. For one, he’s sure that he looks _nothing_ like Ashton, okay. Maybe he’s a little biased because he stares at Ashton every day, plus he’s immensely attracted to him and it would be more than weird to see him as a brother after all that they’ve done together. But, in Luke’s opinion, they don’t look too much alike and he’s beginning to dislike this ‘Nathan’.

“This is Luke,” Ashton says before Luke even gets another chance to speak. “We’re going snorkeling together. Aren’t we, Luke?”

Unexpectedly, Ashton’s hand comes around to rest on Luke’s hip again in a protective manner, and he gently tugs the younger boy just a bit closer to him. Luke finds himself nodding at the question although he’s still confused as fuck, having no idea what’s going on here or why Ashton is being like this and who the hell Nathan is, especially their relationship to each other. That’s what Luke is curious about the most.

Nathan seems to immediately interpret the body language between the two of them, specifically the way that Ashton’s hand is gripping Luke’s hip. His neutral expression changes into one of amusement, and when he speaks again his tone almost sounds sarcastic and maybe even a little… bitter?

“Ah, I get it,” he says, nodding. “That’s cool. So you’re together then, huh? I never would’ve guessed, since I figured older men were your thing and not boys. But, I guess people change.”

Nathan glances back over to Luke again. “How old are you anyway, kid?” he asks with a smile, and it’s definitely condescending. No doubt about it.

And let’s just say that Luke most certainly dislikes Nathan now. Here he is being insulted for no reason at all by this absolute _jerk_ that he’s only just met, and since he really isn’t good at reacting to these kinds of situations, Luke doesn’t know what to say or think. He isn’t given much time to, either, because Ashton speaks up again.

“That’s really none of your business whatsoever. Nice talking to you.”

Then Ashton takes ahold of Luke’s hand and they’re walking away before his mind can even process what the hell just happened. They don’t stop walking until they’re basically on the other side of the dive centre, near the bathrooms and the back exit of the building.

“…Who the hell was that?” Luke finally asks when his mind does catch up at last.

Ashton lets go of Luke’s hand and folds his arms across his chest, both his expression and stance showing how irritated he is in this moment.

“No one,” he grumbles.

Luke isn’t buying that. He keeps staring at Ashton, waiting for an answer because obviously Nathan isn’t a ‘no one’. He’s a someone, and a very _rude_ someone, at that. The staring seems to work rather well, because Ashton lets out a frustrated sigh and answers truthfully this time.

“He’s just—he’s a scuba diving instructor. We used to date.”

Oh.

Luke suddenly doesn’t want to know anything else about him, then. The guy is a jerk and that much is obvious, but apparently he and Ashton dated and knowing that fact makes Luke feel a certain way that’s difficult to describe. It’s a bad feeling in his chest that kind of burns, the jealousy already setting in.

Ashton sighs again. “See, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you—didn’t want you to jump to conclusions and all that.”

The jealousy was probably quite clear on his face, though Luke hadn’t meant for it to be.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to… jump to conclusions,” he quickly apologizes. But, it’s hard not to.

“There isn’t much to tell,” Ashton explains further. “We dated for a short while last year, but it was just casual dating, y’know? Just dates and hooking up. No big deal.”

At first, it appears as if that explanation is all that Luke is going to get, but Ashton shifts a little uncomfortably and he’s talking again in a quieter tone.

“Also, um… he knows about that stuff I told you before. About what happened to me in high school? Yeah.” Ashton anxiously chews on his bottom lip, staring at the floor. “I thought he was my friend, and… I was kind of going through some things at the time, so I told him about it. I opened up to him and he teased me, said I must’ve had some ‘really deep daddy issues’ if I was desperate enough to fuck a teacher in their thirties. So, yeah. He’s probably just mad that I want nothing to do with him anymore.”

Luke doesn’t dislike Nathan. No, he might actually hate the bastard now. It makes him furious to hear that someone would actually say something like that to Ashton, of all people. Ashton is nothing but sunshine and warmth and radiance, who the fuck would even _consider_ being mean to him? You’d have to have, like, no soul or something. Or be Satan himself, either one.

Thinking about it now, people like Nathan are probably the reason that Ashton had been so reluctant to talk about his personal life. He probably thought that he would be teased again. In fact, Luke can vividly remember the night that Ashton had told him these things, but before doing so, he had said that Luke would think differently of him once he knew the truth. It was really sad to think about.

“Maybe I’m just overreacting,” Ashton mutters all of a sudden.

“No you’re not,” Luke reassures him. “That guy is a dick. Please don’t blame yourself, Ashton.”

For the first time since what happened a few minutes ago, Ashton smiles at him. It’s a soft smile but Luke can still see the underlying pain in his eyes, and it _hurts_.

 “He is,” Ashton agrees. “Shit, I really didn’t think he’d be here at this time… he always took the divers out in the morning while someone else handled the afternoon group. I’m sorry.”

Luke shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. We could… um, we could leave if you want?”

“No,” Ashton says, sounding determined now. “I promised to take you and Calum snorkeling, so that’s what we’re going to do. I’m sure he won’t… bother us while he’s working.”

“Okay,” Luke says. Just because he means it, he adds, “Fuck that guy.”

This time Ashton laughs, and it’s beautiful. “Yeah. Fuck him.”

“Fuck who?” Calum asks as he’s suddenly rejoined them. He finishes drying his wet hands with the paper towel he’s holding and tosses it into the bin next them, totally ignorant to the previous situation.

“Don’t worry about it,” Luke replies, patting his friend on the shoulder.

Ashton says that it’s about time to make their departure, so they begin walking towards the exit with the other divers that will be joining them on the boat. 

“I don’t get it. Don’t worry about what?” Calum tries asking, utterly confused. When he doesn’t get an answer from either one of them, he rolls his eyes and whines dramatically, “Third-wheeling already. Great.”

***

Ashton had been right. Aside from a bit of staring, Nathan doesn’t bother them the entire duration of the boat ride to Julian Rocks. Luke is relieved for that because he doesn’t like drama, but it couldn’t be avoided forever, he supposes. The three of them chat amongst themselves for the majority of the ride, and Luke learns from a married couple that they’ve been diving together for nearly ten years already. It’s really cute, even though he doesn’t think he’ll ever try scuba diving. But, he attentively listens to the fun story that they tell him until they reach their destination.

Julian Rocks is even better than Ashton had described it. It’s just a pair of really small islands not too far from shore, but it’s beautiful up close. When the boat finally comes to a halt, Luke watches as the divers get ready to jump into the water first. It’s routine for them so they probably don’t feel nervous at all, whereas Luke stares into the deep ocean as if it wants to eat him alive. Who knows, it probably does. Nathan gives his group of five divers a few instructions and the time that they have to meet back at the boat, and then each diver disappears one by one.

Now, only the three of them remain, minus the driver.

“Ready boys?” Ashton asks, hopping up from the bench. He seems even more excited than they ae, somehow.

“Mmph!” Calum says, voice muffled by the snorkel in his mouth. He spits it out and lets it hang by the side of his face. “Hell yeah! Last one in is a rotten fish!”

Before anyone could stop him, Calum readjusts his snorkel and steps over the side of the boat, temporarily disappearing beneath the surface. Luke absolutely envies his courage and general ‘fuck it’ attitude. Nothing ever seems to stop Calum from just _doing_ things, and that should’ve brought about negative consequences but it usually results in a positive. A few seconds roll by and his head reappears, filling Luke with a bit of relief. Calum didn’t die—yet another positive.

“You guys are slow as fuck,” he says. “Hurry up already, I wanna find Nemo!”

“We’re coming, we’re coming! Calm down,” Ashton laughs. He turns to find Luke still sitting on the bench, mask over his face and fins perfectly snug on his feet. Ready, but also _not_ ready.

“You alright, Lukey?” he asks.

It takes a second, but Luke nods. “Yeah. I’ve just never… been in water this deep before.”

“Well, you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. We can stay near the surface, okay?” Ashton extends his hand and waits for Luke to take it, a soft smile on his face. It’s an easy decision when Luke accepts the hand and allows Ashton to pull him to his feet, because he trusts Ashton. He really does.

Ashton checks one last time to make sure that Luke’s mask is on properly before they step to the edge of the boat, hand in hand. Calum cheers because he had been patiently waiting and now they’re finally getting somewhere, so that’s good. Adventure awaits them, after all, and he’s desperate to explore. So is Luke. He just needs a bit of a push, first.

“Do you want to jump in together?” Ashton asks.

Luke notices that they’re still holding hands and he’d been unconsciously squeezing Ashton’s. The proposition of going in together is cute, though. Very, very cute. They basically do everything together and Luke has a feeling that if Ashton jumped over a cliff, he would probably be right alongside him. However, Luke is also an eighteen-year-old adult male and well over six feet tall. He can be ‘tough’ and ‘hardcore’ when he wants to be, and he doesn’t need to hold Ashton’s hand to jump into some water, for crying out loud.

So, even though he doesn’t really want to, he lets go of Ashton’s hand.

“It’s fine, you can go in before me,” he says, hoping that he sounds as confident as he feels.

At first, Ashton seems a little surprised by those words. But, then he catches on to what Luke is trying to do and he chuckles a little, eyes shining bright despite the mask in front of them. Nothing could contain that brightness, and it’s a fact that becomes more evident day after day.

“Alright, suit yourself,” Ashton says. He puts the snorkel back into his mouth and, using one hand to hold his nose and the other to make the ‘rock on’ sign, he steps over the edge.

As the ‘rotten fish’, Luke takes his time to prepare himself before actually joining them. He watches as Ashton resurfaces in the same way that Calum had, coming to the conclusion that it couldn’t be that bad. He’s dealt with much more frightening things in his life, some of which had to be faced alone. Now, he has Ashton and Calum, so what is there to worry about?

“Come on, Luke!” Calum shouts.

“You can do it!” Ashton shouts right afterward.

“This is peer pressure!” Luke laughs. Then he whispers ‘fuck it’ to himself and closes his eyes, taking one step forward.

The water is cold as it engulfs his entire body. Cold, but not unbearable. Luke remembers that he’s wearing a mask so he opens his eyes and looks around him. The first thing that he sees is… well, a bunch of blue. Vast blueness that probably goes on for eternity. That’s kind of a scary thought, so he looks up and is glad to see two pairs of legs above him. Eager to take in more oxygen, he swims upwards until his head reaches the surface and he blows the water out of his snorkel, breathing again.

 “Yay, Luke!” Ashton cheers, already swimming closer to him.

“My jump was better,” Calum says. “At least you didn’t hit the boat, I guess.”

Luke decides to ignore that unnecessary comment. Instead, he focuses on keeping himself afloat and glancing around at his surroundings. They have a goal, and that goal is to have fun and see bunch of cool shit, so he wants to get started.

“What do you think we’ll see down there?” he asks as Ashton joins his side.

“Lots of things,” Ashton says. “Fish, fish, more fish, lots of manta rays and some sharks, too.”

Sharks. Right, okay, so that was definitely something to worry about.

Luke’s eyes are probably wider than the sun when he asks, “ _Sharks_? What the hell do you mean by ‘some sharks’?”

“You know, like, more than one?” Ashton answers.

Well that was helpful. The only reason that Luke doesn’t make a witty remark is because he’s too busy trying to keep his heart rate from skyrocketing. Any second now, he could be eaten by a shark and he has nothing to defend himself with. Wow, snorkeling was such a great idea!

_Not_.

“What are the chances of Luke being eaten by a shark?” Calum asks.

“Why _me_?” Luke cries. It’s not as if sharks swam around all day, specifically searching for boys named Luke Hemmings to eat. Yet, Calum’s teasing only added to his greatest fear. Well, at this moment it is his greatest fear.

“No one is getting eaten by a shark,” Ashton says, but he laughs and it ruins the sincerity of that statement.

“You don’t know the future,” Calum argues. “It could be any one of us at any moment… I bet the sharks are rolling dice right now, trying to decide who to gobble up first. Are the odds in your favor, Luke?”

“That’s enough, Calum. You’re scaring Luke,” Ashton says.

“I’m not scared at all,” Luke lies, and he hates how unconvincing he sounds.

Ashton shifts in the water so that he’s directly in front of Luke and has his full attention.

“Don’t worry, nothing bad will happen,” he says. “If it ever comes to it, I’d wrestle a shark for you, Luke.”

On one hand, the chances of winning against a shark in its own territory are close to none, Luke’s sure. Like, even the scenario itself is quite unrealistic. However, on the other hand, that’s just about the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to him, despite how twisted it is. What counts is that Ashton is trying to reassure him and make him feel safe, so it really is an incredibly sweet thing to say, regardless of whether or not it would ever happen. And he meant it, too; Luke can tell. Ashton’s smile is honest and Luke smiles back without even realizing it.

Calum clears his throat, a sound that interrupts their little moment. “You know, the best thing about being a third wheel is that I don’t have to sacrifice myself for anyone, ensuring my survival.”

“Alright, we get it!” Ashton laughs. “Let’s not waste any more time, then. If you do see a shark, stay still and try not to panic. Now, cool things await us, so follow me!”

Like the excitable mer-creature that he is, Ashton begins to swim closer to the little islands, Calum following alongside him. Not wanting to be left behind, Luke quickly makes sure that his snorkel is secure in his mouth and swims after them. Soon enough they’re swimming in unison, Ashton in the middle and the other two boys on either side of him.

At first, Luke only sees a bunch of rocks and a bit of coral, but as they pass over one particular area, there’s suddenly a school of tiny pink fish swimming beneath them. Calum immediately takes the opportunity to go a little deeper and swim right through them, finding amusement at how they scatter away. From the bubbles hailing from his snorkel, Luke can tell that he’s giggling.

This isn’t so bad, Luke decides. There appears to be even more pretty fish just a bit further on, but he’d have to dive deeper to see them properly. He glances to his right to find Ashton staring at him, so he points upwards with his index finger and lifts his head from the water. When Ashton does the same, Luke lets him know what he wants.

“I wanna go deeper,” Luke says, and just because he’s a little immature, he chuckles at how dirty that sounds. “Can we do that?”

Ashton gives him a quick nod. “Yeah, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Luke answers, because he’s feeling really brave now. This is supposed to be fun and he _wants_ to have fun, so he’ll take the risk of possibly becoming some shark’s dinner.

Once Calum rejoins them, they each take a deep breath and dive back down, descending even further into the sea. Then it’s even more fun, because Luke gets to touch a starfish and that’s something that he’s always wanted to do. Well, not really, but after he touches it he decides that he’s wanted to do it all along, he just never knew it. Ashton takes the lead again and they swim around for a while, observing the many different kinds of fish. Luke never knew that there were so many, and he thinks that all of them are equally beautiful.

Another beautiful thing is the way that Ashton’s hair looks underneath the water. He almost looks like a real mermaid—merman? Whatever, Luke just admires the way that the loose strands float around freely. Even though the strap of the mask he’s wearing holds some of it down, there’s still so much. Luke comes to the conclusion that Ashton’s hair is his second favorite thing about his appearance, since those hazel eyes are definitely at the top of the list.

There comes a moment when Ashton notices the staring and he smiles around the snorkel in his mouth. Even that somehow manages to take Luke’s breath away, although it could also have to do with the fact that he’s underwater so breathing isn’t an option. He uses that excuse to return to the surface and catch his breath again before he drowns. The other two join him a moment later.

“Hey, look,” Calum says, pointing to something not far from where Luke floats.

Luke glances to his left and finds a sea turtle leisurely floating alongside him, and it’s way too cute to ignore. He doesn’t touch it, though, in fear of scaring it off or something.

“Let’s name him Frederick,” Calum says, moving to the other side of the turtle.

Luke tilts his head in wonder. “But what if it’s a girl?”

“Fredericka!” Ashton suggests with a laugh, as if it was the greatest thing he’s come up with all day.

And Luke expected him to say something like that, because he always says things like that. It’s silly but Luke laughs a little, too, because Ashton is silly in an endearing kind of way. He’s silly and cute and that’s what Luke likes about him most, personality-wise.

“Can we keep it?” Calum suddenly asks.

“We wouldn’t even have anywhere to put it—put _her_ ,” Luke replies.

“Sure we do! Just fill the tub up with water until we buy something bigger.”

Ashton laughs again but he also shakes his head. “Nope, that would be considered poaching. Besides, the animals need their freedom, y’know?”

Calum nods, looking even more determined. “Okay, so all I have to do is buy the sea itself, then technically I can keep her?”

“We’re not keeping the turtle, Calum,” Luke sighs.

“But I love her!” he whines, and this whole thing is starting to be a bit ridiculous now. But, then again, they consider themselves to be ridiculous people.

“Enough about turtles, I wanna see some leopard sharks now,” Ashton says. When he sees the fear in Luke’s eyes, he adds, “They’re pretty docile towards humans and are quite small, so don’t worry. We’ll just get a peek at them, okay?”

Luke murmurs an ‘okay’ but he’s still quite nervous, which is rather plain to see. So Ashton swims closer to him and unexpectedly leans forward, planting a single kiss on Luke’s mask and smiling afterwards. And it’s just a little kiss, it shouldn’t magically rid Luke of his worries, but it kind of does. Just a bit.

“Aw,” Calum coos. “Can I have one, too? Y’know, just for good luck?”

“No,” Luke quickly denies him, because Ashton’s kisses are _his_. Only his. But he doesn’t want to be mean to his friend, so he tugs Calum by the mask before the other boy can resist and plants a big kiss on the plastic, leaving a little mark.

“Gross!” Calum whines again, making a disgusted face.

Luke laughs at him and makes one final comment. “You know you liked it.”

Before long, they’re exploring beneath the ocean surface again. Luke sticks closely to Ashton’s side the entire time, more out of want than fear. To his relief, they only end up seeing three or four leopard sharks that hardly seem to acknowledge their presence at all—thank goodness. After deciding that they weren’t going to eat him, Luke dares to think that they’re actually quite cute. Plus, now he knows why they’re called leopard sharks, the pattern on their skin resembling that of an actual leopard. So, it wasn’t that bad after all.

***

By the time they’re back on the boat with the other divers and returning to the mainland, Luke is exhausted as hell. They’d only been gone for a couple of hours, but it was his first time snorkeling so he ended up exerting more energy than was necessary. It’s fine, though, because now he’s leaning against Ashton and enjoying the wind in his damp hair, his droopy eyelids threatening to make him fall asleep. He would’ve done just that, if not for the rumbling in his stomach. The amount of swimming that they did really worked up his appetite.

Luke is more than happy when they’re finally back at the dive centre, safe and sound.

“We have to do this again really soon,” Calum was saying as they changed in the locker room. “We’ll force Michael to come with us, too, and convince him that the leopard sharks love bright colors, like his hair.”

“Okay,” Luke chuckles. “We can do that.”

“Sweet—how does tomorrow sound?”

This time he lets out an exhausted sigh. “That’s a bit _too_ soon, don’t ya think?”

“Nonsense. The sooner the better,” Calum insists, “unless you and Ashton have other ‘plans’ or something.”

Luke glances over at Ashton with a cheeky little grin and says, “I don’t know. Do we have plans tomorrow, Ashton?”

Ashton nods and answers seriously, “Sorry, Calum. Luke and I are eloping to Switzerland tonight, so you’ll have to make an appointment.”

Even though Luke laughs at the obvious joke, there’s still the familiar fluttering in his tummy at the thought of eloping with Ashton. He doesn’t know why and he should probably stop thinking about it, but now his mind is being bombarded with images of the two of them traveling together. Just them. Luke and Ashton versus the world. Maybe they’d start here in Australia and visit every city and beautiful place that they’ve always wanted to go, before working their way up to the rest of the world.

Yeah, it’d be nice to share an adventure like that, but Byron Bay is paradise enough.

“I’ll wait for you guys outside, and then we can decide on where to get something to eat,” Ashton says, making his way to the door that leads back into the centre.

“Or, you could just make some of that orgasmic spaghetti again?” Calum suggests. He does that _thing_ with his face to look even more like a puppy than he already does, probably hoping that Ashton will comply.

“Hmm… I’ll consider it,” Ashton answers with grin, and the door closes behind him with a click.

Luke wouldn’t mind having Ashton’s spaghetti for the second night in a row. It was unbelievably good and probably the only dish that Ashton really knows how to make, besides steamed vegetables that he always tries to force them to eat. Luke doesn’t mind them, but he doesn’t prefer them, either.

Anyway, when Ashton made spaghetti it was fun to stand around the kitchen and watch him, and maybe Luke even helped out a bit. Mostly he just watched, though. The domesticity of it gave him a warm feeling that he really liked, and he wants to feel it again.

Since Luke finishes before Calum, he decides to exit the locker room first. The only thing occupying his thoughts besides delicious spaghetti is the fact that his hair is flat at the moment, and he couldn’t wait to properly wash it and put it back into its glorious quiff. Normally he didn’t mind the hair on his forehead, but it’s been so long since his last haircut that the strands are a bit too much, now. He’s thinking of whether or not he actually wants it cut as he walks through the door, but his thoughts are interrupted when he hears Ashton’s voice not too far away.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Ashton says, and he sounds frustrated. It’s a different kind of frustration that Luke is sure he’s never heard come from those lips, and it alarms him.

He turns his head to where he thinks it came from and spots Ashton standing next to the furthest wall from the locker room, which turns into a corner that leads into the main room of the building. Luke can see that he’s frowning, and standing in front of him is—ah, _Nathan_. That prick from earlier. Whatever they were talking about apparently doesn’t interest Ashton at all, because he tries to walk away but Nathan is blocking his path.

And that really pisses Luke off. A lot. There aren’t too many things in the world that legitimately made him mad—he could get annoyed, irritated, and genuinely put off by things, but it had to be pretty bad if it actually _angered_ him.

This is easily one of those times. All that registered in his mind now is that someone was upsetting Ashton. They’re bothering him when he doesn’t want them to, and that makes Luke angry to the point where he feels like his blood is beginning to boil in his veins. His heart is beating in his ears as he unconsciously strides over and approaches them, hardly even knowing what he’s doing but he has to do _something_.

“He said he doesn’t want to talk to you,” Luke cuts in.

It’s probably a little bit insane. Even though Nathan is attractive in a stereotypical sort of way, he also looks as if he could easily kick Luke’s ass if he really felt like it. But, Luke isn’t thinking about that right now. He isn’t thinking about possibly getting his ass kicked, nor is he thinking about the fact that Ashton is tougher and can certainly handle this situation on his own. Luke isn’t thinking about those things because yes, they may be true, but it’s also true that he defends the people who matter to him the most.

Nathan only spares him a brief glance, hardly taking his words seriously. “Strange, I don’t recall anyone talking to _you_ either, kid. So how about you mind your business and leave us to our conversation?”

“How about you fuck off and stop harassing someone who clearly wants nothing to do with you?” Luke quips, standing his ground.

Those words seem to not only take Nathan by surprise, but Ashton as well—who still hasn’t said anything yet. With his hazel eyes a little wide and his mouth agape, he simply stands there, probably unable to process that it was _Luke_ who is saying these things. In truth, Luke can’t believe it either, but he’s much too angry to be nervous and stutter a bunch.

Nathan quickly recovers from the temporary shock, no longer looking like a sardonic asshole. Now he just looks angry and that anger is entirely directed at Luke.

“And who the hell are you trying to be, huh? Superman?” he says with a haughty laugh. “Learn your place, boy, and recognize who you’re talking to here.”

Luke merely shrugs, unfazed by those words. “I recognize that I’m talking to an asshole who thinks he’s being clever by insulting my age again, but I guess it’s hard to be creative when you only know how to think with your dick.”

Nathan appears to turn a bit red and he scowls, which really isn’t a good look on him. As a matter of fact, his shitty personality seems to highlight his features, and Luke wonders why he ever found the guy attractive at all. Because he really isn’t, in any shape or form.

All of a sudden he’s taking a step towards Luke as if he plans to hit him, because he obviously wants to. And Luke really doesn’t want to be involved in a physical fight but he prepares for the worst, except nothing actually happens. Nothing happens because Ashton had stepped in front of Luke, just in case Nathan really was going to hit him.

“Lay a single finger on him and you’ll regret it,” Ashton warns him. He spoke in a low, serious tone that even intimidates Luke a little because he’s never heard Ashton speak like that before. It was actually quite sexy, in a way. Really, really sexy.

Maybe not to Nathan, though, because he doesn’t move another inch. He certainly hadn’t expected Ashton to step in like that.

“Is there a problem?” Calum asks as he approaches them. Nice timing as usual. He’s eyeing Nathan suspiciously since he obviously doesn’t know what the hell is going on here, but he can tell that some dude is bothering his friends and he definitely isn’t cool with that.

There’s a short pause where no one says or does anything, and Luke can feel the uncomfortable tension thickening. Finally, Nathan seems to do the math and decides that three versus one wouldn’t result in a favorable outcome for him. He also realizes that despite the corner that hid them for the main room, it really wouldn’t be wise to start a fight in his own workplace.

So, he backs off.

“Whatever,” Nathan huffs, beginning to retreat at last. “Didn’t want the stupid slut, anyway.”

Luke is going to kill him. He is literally two seconds away from committing murder. But, before he could even go through with the deed he feels a hand gently grab his elbow, stopping him before he takes another step. He glances down at the hand, then up at Ashton, who softly shakes his head. So, Luke hesitantly lets it go. Just this once.

“Man, what the hell is his problem?” Calum grumbles. “Are you alright, Ash?”

“Yeah, I’m fine… thanks,” Ashton murmurs. He turns his gaze back to Luke and says with complete sincerity, “You, too. Thank you, Luke.”

Luke mutters that it’s fine and he doesn’t need to be thanked, because it was a natural thing to do and he knows that Ashton would’ve done the same, had it been him in this situation instead. Besides, Ashton is always protecting him in some way or another, so Luke wanted to repay the favor at least once.

“Who was that guy, anyway?” Calum asks. “I think I remember seeing him on the boat… is he someone that you hate?”

Ashton thinks about the question for a short moment before shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t hate him… I mean, yeah, he’s a total dick but I don’t hate him because it’s really not worth it, y’know?” He shrugs and shuffles his feet a bit, looking at the floor now. “I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone, not even…”

Although Ashton trails off, Luke knows exactly who he was referring to. It doesn’t need to be said, and Calum wouldn’t know who he was talking about anyway. And, it’s times like this that makes Luke really wonder how Ashton is _real_. He’s just so nice and caring and perfect, it’s difficult to process that there are actually people out there who took advantage of that and hurt him.

“Well, I’m even hungrier now,” Calum says, stretching a bit before he walks past them. “C’mon, there’s delicious spaghetti to be made.”

“I said that I would _consider_ it!” Ashton corrects him, laughing. But of course he gives in. “Fine, spaghetti it is.”

As they make their way to the exit, Luke feels a pair of hands wrap around his arm and he has to pause when Ashton leans up to kiss his cheek. Those dimples greet him a moment later when Ashton pulls away.

“Thanks again for having my back,” Ashton says, still smiling. He begins tugging Luke along, their arms linked together. “You’re really hot when you’re angry, did you know that? Because I didn’t know that. I’m glad I do now, though.”

Luke grins a little but he has to let out a long sigh. “I really need a drink,” he grumbles.

Now that the anger has subsided and the adrenaline isn’t pumping through his veins, he honestly couldn’t believe that he’d just fucking did that. Like, he actually defended someone without making a complete fool out of himself. That was even rarer than finding a four-leaf clover, and now the nervousness has finally caught up to him.

Ashton giggles as he opens the door for them. “I’ll make you a nice cocktail, then. Just to show my appreciation. And maybe later I can show my appreciation in other ways, if you want.”

Luke easily recognizes what that tone suggests and the intention behind those wiggly brows, too. Of course he accepts the offer, because he never turns down an opportunity to be close to Ashton in that way, even if he feels like he doesn’t deserve the many thanks. He just wants Ashton to be happy, that’s all. He wants Ashton to always smile and be happy, and he refuses to tolerate people who threaten that happiness. People who take Ashton’s smile away are not good people, Luke decides.

But in this moment, Ashton is smiling and that’s all that really matters.

***

Two days later is when Ashton needs him again.

It’s almost sunset when Luke makes his way down to the beach. Ashton has been bugging him nonstop about surfing together, since they haven’t done it in a few days. Naturally, Luke gave in to his desire to please the guy and agreed to ride the waves with him, once his lifeguard shift ended for the day. They didn’t have a long time to do it, however, since the sun would be setting soon and darkness would take its place. Ashton claimed that Luke wasn’t ready for night surfing yet, and he really didn’t want to take any risks. Luke was okay with that decision.

As he finally approaches their meeting spot, he finds Ashton patiently waiting for him with his own surfboard propped up in the sand. He doesn’t notice Luke coming his way because he’s too busy staring down at his feet, so it startles him a little when the younger boy greets him.

“Hey,” Ashton says.

Luke instantly sees that something is wrong. Ashton’s smile isn’t his usual one and it doesn’t reach his eyes. He also seems distracted and yeah, something is definitely wrong. Luke frowns and reaches out to place a gentle hand on Ashton’s shoulder, grabbing his attention again.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

For a second it looks as if Ashton will lie to him and claim it’s nothing, but he quickly changes his mind and lets the fake smile fall from his face. Finally, he makes proper eye contact.

“Am I really that obvious?” Ashton asks, followed by a sad chuckle.

“Kind of, yeah,” Luke answers. It’s obvious because Ashton smiles at him every day, so he’s able to distinguish between the real ones and the fake ones. The fake ones were very, very rare.

Ashton exhales a small sigh. “Well, it’s not that important so don’t worry about it. Let’s go surfing.”

Normally Luke would have accepted those words and left it at that, but he can see that it’s really bad this time and Ashton is having difficulty hiding it.

Well, enough is enough. Luke isn’t going to stand by and do nothing. Maybe it’s a bad idea and he should just mind his business, but he won’t tolerate seeing Ashton upset and bottling everything inside of himself.

Luke positions his own board right next to Ashton’s and decides that surfing can wait. Then, he takes Ashton by the hand and pulls him along until they’re a short distance away from the surfboards.

“What the hell, Luke?” Ashton grumbles, but he isn’t resisting in the slightest. “We’re wasting time, can’t we just surf?”

“There’s plenty of time to surf. Let’s just sit and talk for a bit, okay?”

Luke plops down into the sand and tugs Ashton with him, who still doesn’t resist. They’re positioned so that they’re facing the sea and Ashton is in front, sitting comfortably between Luke’s legs. Since his plan is working so far, Luke wraps his arms around Ashton’s waist and leans forward, resting his chin on Ashton’s shoulder. They sit silently like that for a moment, watching the consistent rolling of the waves.

Ashton is the first to break the silence. “Are you going to make me talk?” he asks quietly.

“Can’t make you do anything,” Luke says. “I mean, I really think that you _should_ get it off your chest and I’m always here to listen. But, I can’t make you if you really don’t want to.”

It’s quiet again and Luke assumes that Ashton is considering his options. Countless seconds go by before he eventually speaks.

“I talked to my siblings this morning,” he starts slowly. “Haven’t spoken to them in a little while, but I did that today.”

“That’s good,” Luke tells him. He knows that Ashton’s family is down in Sydney just like his own; although, Ashton doesn’t see his nearly as much. Luke had always assumed that it was because of the distance.

“And my brother, Harry—he’s still pretty young, y’know?” Ashton goes on. “He’s young so he doesn’t really understand. He thinks that I don’t come home because I… because I don’t _like_ them anymore, Luke. He asked if I was mad at them, asked if he did something that made me go away and I just…”

Ashton’s voice cracks so he pauses, taking a shaky breath. “I don’t know, I tried to explain it to him and it just made me feel so… so shitty, god, I’m so shitty! I’m such a shitty brother, a shitty son and an even shittier person.”

The sudden outburst surprises Luke and he instinctively squeezes his arms around Ashton, holding him tighter because that’s something that he can do. He may not be able to fix everything, but could let Ashton know that he was there for him—that he wasn’t alone.

“Hey, don’t say that… you’re not a shitty person at all, Ashton,” Luke murmurs, because he really isn’t sure what else to say.

“I really am, though,” he says, much quieter this time but still sounding upset. “I’m shitty… and a coward.”

Luke shakes his head, about to argue when he instead asks, “What makes you think that?”

Ashton opens his mouth to say something but then he closes it again. He does that a few times, actually, and he probably doesn’t even know the answer himself. But, eventually he knows what he wants to say and Luke doesn’t interrupt him.

“I came here because I… I wanted to get away,” he begins to explain. “After I finished school, I didn’t know what to do with myself… I was still in so much _pain_ from what I went through a few months before that, and then some of my friends said that they were coming here for vacation, so I went along because I just wanted to get away.”

Ashton is basically slumped in Luke’s arms now. His head is resting back against Luke’s shoulder and his eyes are closed as he speaks quietly; he seems so vulnerable like this. So vulnerable and defenseless, not a single one of his walls put up anymore. Maybe he’s given up, or maybe he just trusts Luke entirely and doesn’t mind letting himself be seen in this state.

“It was the second time I had ever been here,” Ashton continues, “and while I was here, it was like nothing else mattered anymore? No one else knew me besides my friends, and I could pretend that I wasn’t totally fucked up. I could pretend to myself that I was the same Ashton from before, the one who hadn’t been involved in that stupid scandal… and it was almost like paradise. So, I stayed. I moved here because I’m a coward who runs away from everything...”

There are about a million thoughts and questions running through Luke’s mind at the moment, but he manages to grasp one of the ones that he wants to ask the most.

“…How long has it been since you last went home, Ashton?”

Ashton half-shrugs. “Four… almost five months.”

Okay. So that’s way longer than Luke had expected, and probably three times as long as he’s ever gone without seeing his own family. In all honesty, he doubts he’d even last that long without being reduced to a homesick puppy.

“I’m sure that everyone misses you a lot, then… you should go back and visit them.”

Suddenly Ashton sits up again, no longer leaning against Luke and he’s rapidly shaking his head.

“No, no, I can’t do that—can’t go back there… I really shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” Luke asks, using a hand to gently rub his back and hopefully calm him. “What happened the last time you went back?”

Ashton goes completely silent for way too many seconds this time around, and Luke briefly wonders if he’s going to shut him out again, maybe even for good.

“He was there,” Ashton finally mumbles, and it’s barely audible over the sound of the ocean waves.

“He…?” Luke repeats, a little confused.

“Yes, _him_ ,” Ashton says, much louder this time. “My ex-boyfriend, former swim coach, teacher—whatever the hell you want to call him. I went home and everything was fine… it was fine until I went out with some friends one night, and we ran into him.”

Ashton lets out a bitter laugh at the memory. “Out of the millions of people who live in Sydney, I still manage to come across _him_ … not to mention he was with another barely legal kid, because he’s a sick fuck. I didn’t even know if he saw me or not, and I didn’t care. I just… left as fast as I could. Came back here the next day, too.”

Luke is beginning to feel pretty helpless, right about now. And, Ashton may have been unable to hate people, but Luke can do the hating for him. He legitimately feels nothing but deep hatred for this man whose name he still doesn’t even know. If it weren’t for this man who took advantage of Ashton—a student that he was supposed to look after and _protect_ —then Ashton wouldn’t sound so broken right now. Luke hates the nameless man, hates that he can’t make Ashton forget, and hates not being able to say something to make it all better.

“I miss my mum,” Ashton mutters all of a sudden. “I miss her a lot… it’s been so many weeks since we last had a real conversation.”

“So call her,” Luke suggests.

Ashton just slowly shakes his head. “I can’t do that either, don’t you see? She shouldn’t have to put up with my shit anymore, not after what I did… and, like, I’m pretty sure that seeing _him_ that night was some sort of sign—a sign that I don’t belong there at all.”

“That is complete bullshit and you know it.”

Obviously not expecting that reply, Ashton turns his head to see the frown on Luke’s face. Luke doesn’t want to be stern with his words, but he feels like he has to be in order to get through to Ashton.

“It was a coincidence. A really shitty coincidence, yeah, but a coincidence nonetheless,” Luke says. “And I get that you still feel guilty, but you really need to stop punishing yourself, Ashton. It wasn’t your fault.”

As expected, Ashton doesn’t take too kindly to those words. “You don’t know anything,” he says, glaring.

“Just listen to me for a sec,” Luke says, talking over him before he could argue. “It wasn’t _your_ fault. He was the adult, not you. I don’t care who started it and none of that matters—he was still the adult. He shouldn’t have… done any of that stuff with you, and it was _his_ responsibility not to. Not yours.”

Ashton is beginning to squirm a bit in Luke’s grasp, not wanting to hear any of that, but Luke doesn’t let him go because he needs to hear it from someone. Even if it’s three years too late.

“And another thing,” Luke continues, “is that you need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and move on, so that you can see how much your family really loves and misses you.”

“I-I can’t,” Ashton whines stubbornly.

“Yes, you can,” Luke insists. He gets a sudden idea and it might not work, but it won’t hurt to try. “I’m going to tell you a story now and you’re going to listen, okay?”

Ashton groans and it’s clear that he’s getting irritated. “ _Lucas_.”

Luke simply ignores him and begins telling the story. “So when I was twelve, I used to get teased a lot by these kids in my neighborhood. Of course I realize now that they were a bunch of little assholes, but back then I really wanted to be friends with them. Like, it was my main goal in life, at the time.”

“This story sucks.”

“Shhh, no interrupting.” Luke covers Ashton’s mouth with a hand to show that he means business, but Ashton licks his palm and almost bites it, too, but Luke was fast to remove it. “Now where was I… oh, right. One day we were hanging out at my house—they only came over to eat all of my snacks—and they brought this firecracker with them. I guess you can see where I’m going with this, so to make a long story short, I tried to prove that I was cool like them and nearly burnt down the tree in my backyard.”

“What happened after that?” Ashton asks, apparently interested in the story now.

“Well, it just so happens that that tree was my mum’s _favorite_ tree. Like, favoritest of favorites. It was a peach tree and she liked to pick the peaches from it to make yummy dishes. So, I knew that she was going to kill me. Literally. I said goodbye to my dog and all of my toys, and I was half-way done writing out my will by the time she found out.”

Ashton giggles for the first time in what seems like ages, and Luke hadn’t expected that but it’s a good sign. A very, very good sign.

“Are you serious?” he asks, still giggling softly.

Luke nods. “Yeah… and if she wasn’t going to kill me and bury my body beneath that burnt tree, then I figured she would stop loving me and disown me as soon as possible. Then I’d be an orphan. But, while I did end up in a shit ton of trouble for what I’d done, she actually didn’t do any of that… she didn’t disown me, and she never stopped loving me. Nowadays, we even laugh together about the whole thing.”

While he still has Ashton’s attention, Luke concludes the silly story with the message that he was trying to convey by telling it in the first place.

“I know that your situation is completely different from mine, but basically what I’m trying to say is… good parents will always love you no matter how badly you fuck up, you know? And I know that your mum is a good mum—I mean she raised _you_ , after all. And you’re amazing. So you should call her, because I know that she misses you a lot. She has to.”

Ashton nervously licks his lips and runs a hand through his curls, probably having some sort of internal battle with himself, if the subsequent silence is anything to go by. Having done the best that he could to persuade him, Luke patiently waits for Ashton to come to a decision, since it’s all up to him now.

Finally, Ashton gives a shaky nod. “Okay… I’ll call her.”

“Good,” Luke says, smiling. He gives Ashton’s cheek a soft kiss. “You should call her today.”

Ashton’s eyes widen in horror. “ _Today_? That’s… no, it’s too soon, I can’t do it.”

Well, Luke honestly should have expected this kind of reaction. He doesn’t back down, though.

“It’s never too soon to call someone that you care about,” Luke tries, but Ashton is shaking his head. “Also, you never know what could happen tomorrow, so why wait? Would you rather live with the regret of not calling her sooner?”

Maybe that was a bit too much, but it’s true and they both know it.

“No,” Ashton answers, and it sounds a little squeaky so he clears his throat. “No.”

“Okay, then. Give her a call.”

Ashton lets out a frustrated sigh. “Luke…”

“Ashton.”

“…Will you be there with me?”

That comes as a surprise. At first Luke isn’t sure what he’d meant by that, but then it becomes clear that Ashton wants him there when he calls his mother. Perhaps he figures that Luke’s presence will give him courage or something. And really, Luke isn’t sure how that would work, but he’ll offer as much help as he possibly can.

So, Luke nods and smiles at him again. “Sure.”

***

After putting away the unused surfboards, Luke and Ashton prepared to call Ashton’s mother. Well, Ashton is preparing while Luke provides emotional support, since it’s really needed at the moment. They’ve been sitting on Ashton’s bed for the past fifteen minutes, the phone in front of them but it remains untouched. Ashton keeps nervously drumming his fingers against the mattress and biting his nails. Once in a while he reaches for the phone, but then he quickly retracts his hand and goes back to mindlessly drumming.

When it happens for the third time, Luke decides to take matters into his own hands.

“Do you want me to dial it for you?” he asks, trying to be helpful.

Ashton merely shakes his head, and to both of their surprise, he picks up the phone at last. There’s a brief moment where he appears frozen in place, but then he shakes his head again and finds his mother’s number in his contacts, pressing down on it before he loses courage.

Even Luke feels a bit nervous, to be honest. He can see that Ashton is shaking a little as he waits for his mother to answer the call. Being the good little helper that he is, Luke shifts around on the bed until he’s sitting behind Ashton again, and wraps his arms around his waist to soothe him. It works rather quickly.

“Um—hi, mum,” Ashton says into the speaker, which means that she must’ve finally picked up at last. Luke can’t hear the other voice, but he feels how Ashton stiffens a little. “Yeah, yeah it’s really me. I’m… sorry it’s been so long since I’ve called you.”

Although he’s only listening to one side of the conversation, Luke can tell that it’s going well so far because Ashton finally begins to relax. It’s progress and Luke is proud of him.

“I missed you, too…” Ashton murmurs. A moment later, he giggles at something that his mother says.

Things are really looking up.

***

A few days later, the four of them are at a bar together. Due to the amount of people there, they had no choice but to settle for a rather small table that only had three chairs around it. And that was fine, because Ashton is sitting in Luke’s lap now. It’s an interesting twist and Luke hadn’t expected Ashton to comply when he suggested it, since Ashton always preferred that Luke sat in _his_ lap. But, this time he had plopped down onto the younger boy’s lap without a single complaint. It was quite satisfying.

Another thing that gives Luke satisfaction is how happy Ashton has been lately. In fact, he’s even happier than his usual happy-self, which was already a happy ball of sunshine to begin with. Luke knows that this happiness is because he’s been talking to his mother quite frequently. They’ve spoken to each other these past four days in a row, as a matter of fact. So Ashton is very happy, and that makes Luke happy.

“I’d like to make a toast!” Ashton shouts, raising his mostly-empty glass of beer in the air.

“A toast to what?” Luke asks. He tightens his grip around Ashton just so that he won’t fall from his lap. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself.

Ashton hums in thought, a wide grin spread on his intoxicated face when he settles on an answer. “To my three best friends.”

Luke smiles, Michael makes an ‘aww’ sound, and Calum sniffles, pretending to wipe away a stray tear.

“Everyone needs a chirpy, intoxicated Ashton in their life,” Calum says. “You should ditch Luke and hook up with me instead, I could treat you better and my ass is nicer than his.”

Feeling threatened, Luke glares at Calum from across the table and pulls Ashton even closer to him, if that was possible. The only reason that he growls a little possessively is due to the fact that he is also rather drunk, and really couldn’t care less at how childish he looks at the moment.

“You’re just jealous because Ashton likes me more than you,” Luke proclaims. “Also, I give the best hugs and my cuddles are superior. Right, Ashton? Mine are better, aren’t they?”

“Sure, Lukey,” Ashton says, giggling.

Luke pouts. “You’re supposed to say ‘of course’…”

“I beg to differ,” Michael cuts in. “Calum’s cuddles are pretty damn addictive, trust me, I’ve been exposed to them for way longer than both of you combined.”

“Thank you, Mikey. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.” Calum reaches up and pets him on his colorful head, laughing when Michael purposely makes a purring noise.

“Fine,” Luke huffs. “I demand a cuddle match. Me versus Calum, round one.”

“You’re on,” Calum replies, accepting the challenge.

“Guys, I haven’t finished toasting yet!” Ashton whines, since they’ve diverged from the topic.

Luke points out that Ashton’s glass is now empty, so a toast wouldn’t be possible unless he went and retrieved another drink. So, that’s what he sets out to do.

“Bring me one while you’re at it,” Michael says.

“Same here,” Calum says.

“Me too?” Luke asks, because he has manners. Kind of.

Ashton groans and rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t deny them. “Fine, you lazy bums. I’ll bring you your beers, but see if I ever dedicate a toast to you again!”

When Ashton attempts to stand up from Luke’s lap, he finds himself being pulled down again.

“Wait,” Luke urges. He quickly leans up and presses a soft kiss to Ashton’s lips before releasing him. “Okay, now you can go.”

Ashton smiles and it’s rather bashful. It’s sweet and bashful and he leans down to peck Luke’s lips one more time, before finally turning around and making his way to the bar. Luke watches him the entire time, the only accurate term to describe his perpetual gazing being _heart eyes_. Big, obvious heart eyes. He misses Ashton already and hopes that he’ll return soon, because Luke’s lap is getting cold and Ashton is always warm. Just like the sun. He _is_ the sun, after all.

Eventually Luke faces the table again. He faces the table and finds his other two best friends staring at him in a rather odd way, so he raises a brow in question but they still don’t say anything.

“What?” he asks, a little weirded out by the staring.

They finally stop looking at him, so Luke assumes that they’re just being their usual weird selves.

“How serious are you about this whole thing?” Michael suddenly asks.

Luke tilts his head, bewildered. “What whole thing?”

“He means you and Ashton,” Calum clarifies. He looks like he doesn’t want to be involved in this conversation, whatever this conversation is, but he includes himself anyway.

“I don’t… get what you mean,” Luke answers, and it’s the truth.

Michael sighs and begins to explain further. “Like how you feel about him and stuff. I mean—Ashton is really cool and I like him a lot. He’s funny and nice and he just… clicks with us, I guess? He’s basically perfect. But, like…”

“What are you trying to say?” Luke interrupts. He’s starting to lose his patience and he doesn’t understand why Michael and Calum are acting weird all of a sudden, when two minutes ago they were literally discussing who gives the best cuddles.

“I’m saying that I think you should be careful,” Michael says. “Remember what I said the first day that we came here? About knowing who you’re dealing with? Well… now I think I probably should’ve said not to get to know someone _too_ much. It might complicate things, especially when we have to leave.”

So Luke more or less understands what’s being said now. Even so, that doesn’t mean he has to agree with it.

“You don’t need to worry about me. I know what I’m doing.” His tone comes out a little harsh when he says it, and Luke doesn’t know why he’s being so defensive right now but he refuses to call it denial.

“We just don’t want you getting hurt. Ashton, either,” Calum says.

“Yeah, well, I never asked for your opinions on my relat… friendship with Ashton, so.”

Michael sighs even louder than before. “Look, Luke. You can pretend all that you want, but it’s so goddamn obvious that you like him. I mean you really, _really_ like him. Not just the sex. Not just your friendship. You _like_ him and you’re digging yourself into a deeper hole, the more that you try to deny it.”

Luke grits his teeth and before he even thinks about it, he blurts out, “Just because _you_ can’t get over your girlfriend doesn’t mean that you can tell me what to do, because it isn’t the same. It isn’t the same at all, so just back off.”

And it’s quite clear that Luke regrets those words the moment that they leave his lips. He cringes because bringing up Michael’s ex-girlfriend was not only insensitive, but it also makes him look like a total dickhead. Like, the dickest of dickheads. Michael and Calum were only trying to help him, and even though he doesn’t think he needs their help, it isn’t right to get angry at them. He couldn’t even blame it on the beers that he’s consumed, because he knows that it wasn’t his drunken-self speaking.

“I’m sorry,” Luke murmurs, really hoping that he hasn’t upset his friend. “I didn’t mean that.”

Although Michael looks surprised upon hearing the outburst, at least he doesn’t look hurt. Well, not too hurt. He simply shrugs and stares down at the table.

“It’s fine,” he says after a pause. “’S all true, anyway.”

“No it isn’t,” Luke protests. “I’m sorry, I’m being a total dick. Sorry, Mikey…”

“Special delivery!” Ashton shouts as he approaches the table. Luke hadn’t even noticed him walking over. “Didn’t spill a single drop, either. You’re all welcome, by the way.”

They each mutter their thanks as Ashton sets the beers onto the table, and he doesn’t appear to notice the sudden change of mood. The tension flies right over his drunken little head, and maybe that’s for the best. He returns to his previous seat in Luke’s lap and wraps his arms around the younger boy’s neck, nuzzling against his head.

“Hi,” Ashton whispers, and then he giggles. “Did you miss me?”

Luke still feels like a piece of shit. Of course he knows that Michael will forgive him, it’s not the first time that they’ve said something pretty messed up to one another, nor is it the last. But, it was still really mean.

As Michael idly sips his beer and engages in a quiet conversation with Calum, both of their warnings stir around in Luke’s mind. It’s too much to think about right now, so he tries his best to push it away and instead focus on the amazing person in his lap.

“…Yeah,” Luke finally whispers back, gently kissing Ashton’s neck. “I missed you.”

 


	11. Forever Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand yet another update, just as promised. Enjoy~!

* * *

 

The sound of the camera’s shutter going off is what rouses Luke from his sleep. Well, technically he hadn’t been asleep, but lying there in the comfortable silence resulted in him dozing off more than once. He slowly opens his tired eyes, blinking a few times before they finally focus on his surroundings. The first and most obvious thing that he sees is Ashton leaning over him, the polaroid camera in his large hands hiding most of his face. Luke can tell that he’s smiling, though.

“You know,” Luke starts, but he pauses to yawn a little. “I’ll never understand your obsession with taking pictures of me… especially using _my_ camera. It’s kind of weird.”

Ashton merely shrugs, already busying himself with the device in his hands.

Luke hardly ever uses the damn thing. He has a camera on his phone, so he never understood the point in carrying around a second one, but it was a graduation gift from a relative so he brought it with him. Ashton, on the other hand, seems to fancy the camera even more than he fancies Luke. He’s already used up most of the film, in fact.

“What’s the point of having a camera if you never use it?” Ashton asks. As the image slowly begins to appear on the film, he turns it around so that Luke can see it. “Besides, such beauty should be captured as much as possible.”

Luke scrunches his nose in distaste. “I look like a sleeping elf, I hate it. Get rid of it.”

“No way!” Ashton protests, snatching the picture back when Luke makes a grab for it. “I finally managed to get a perfect angle of your cute little nose! I wish I remembered sooner that you had this thing, ‘cause then I would’ve taken pictures _weeks_ ago.”

What a complete dork. Luke fondly rolls his eyes and considers just giving the camera to Ashton if he likes it so much. Luke has only used it a couple of times, once to capture the view of the sunrise outside his bedroom window, while Ashton has probably taken at least twenty shots in the past fifteen minutes. They’re rather good pictures, too. He could definitely become a photographer if he ever wanted to.

“Wouldn’t it be awkward if, when I finally go back home, everyone asks to see vacation pictures and they’re all of me?”

Ashton starts to giggle, but it quickly dies down to silent chuckle until he appears forlorn, all of a sudden.

“When you go home…” he quietly repeats. “When’s that, again?”

Luke’s smile fades away because it’s a reality that he’s been avoiding for a while now. There’s still a bit of light outside, but night is falling quickly and starting tomorrow, they only have one week left. Seven days remained. That’s seven more days of living in the beach house and being in Byron Bay. Seven days before their two months of fun would come to an end, and they’d have to say goodbye to it all.  

Which also means saying goodbye to Ashton.

“Next week,” Luke answers when his throat finally lets him. Even the words taste awful coming from his mouth. He doesn’t want to think about it for another second, and apparently Ashton doesn’t, either.

“So, um… you never told me what I should get Calum for his birthday tomorrow,” Ashton says, changing the subject. He sets the camera and the photos back onto the little dresser and lies down, cuddling with Luke again.

Luke really likes cuddling with Ashton. And yeah, sex is great, but cuddling is even better. He slips a hand underneath the hem of Ashton’s shirt, grazing over the happy trail before coming up to rest along his side. Luke likes the warmth that radiates from Ashton’s bare skin, and he likes feeling it beneath his palms in a non-sexual way, when they’re just lying in bed together or cuddling on the sofa. It was really nice.

“Just get him anything, really. He likes puppies the most, but I’m sure he’ll also be satisfied with a pair of booty shorts.”

“I’m being serious, Luke,” Ashton whines.

“So am I,” he claims. That earns him a bite on the nose, but of course Ashton does it lightly and it makes him laugh. “Okay, fine. Um… I think Calum is more of a sentimental person? Like, he doesn’t care too much about materialistic things, I think. If you make him something or just _do_ something nice for him, he’ll appreciate it. Does that help?”

“Hmm… nope, not really,” Ashton teases. “But, I’ll take it into consideration… so what did you get for him, anyway?”

“Well, Michael and I have been putting this little thing together for him, and when his sister gets here tomorrow, we can finish it.”

It’s a rather vague answer, but Ashton prods no further. “And what did you get for him last year?” he asks.

“Strippers.”

Ashton rolls his eyes in disbelief, but when he sees that Luke is serious, he snorts and shakes his head.

“That’s so typically Calum… will there be more strippers this year, then?”

Luke shakes his head, yawning again. He scoots closer to Ashton until they’re as close as can be, and presses their foreheads together. He isn’t sure why he’s so incredibly sleepy at the moment, but he almost always gets like this whenever he was too comfortable. Ashton’s warm skin and raspy voice that Luke has become so accustomed to, might also have something to do with it.

“Nope,” he murmurs, “just the party that we already told you about. It’s gonna be really epic so you have to be there the entire time, okay?”

Ashton chuckles and tilts his head to kiss Luke’s nose. “Where else am I gonna be, huh? Can’t miss my friend’s birthday party, and definitely can’t miss out on a chance to get drunk… hey, are you falling asleep?”

Luke hums and mutters a lazy reply. “Nuh-uh.”

“Don’t lie, you’re totally falling asleep and it’s not even eight in the evening, yet.”

“I can’t help it,” Luke whines. “You’re just so warm and cozy… wake me up later, I don’t care, just let me sleep for now.”

Ashton laughs once more and says something about definitely waking Luke up later, but all that Luke pays attention to is the gentle hand caressing his back that lulls him to sleep.

***

It’s early in the morning when the three of them ambush Calum in his bedroom.

“Happy Birthday!” they all shout in unison, tossing the confetti into the air.

The big lump beneath the covers begins to stir, and soon enough, a head pops up that perfectly resembles their friend. Calum in his natural state is the equivalent of a confused boy who looks as if he had trouble seeing, since he squints at them with a bewildered look on his face. Eventually he decides that he doesn’t want to deal with these nuisances, so he buries his head in the pillow again.

“It’s too early for this,” Calum groans. “I wasn’t born at this hour, go away…”

Michael struts over to the bed, anyway. “You don’t even _know_ what hour you were born, so your argument is invalid.”

A moment later he dives onto the bed, so Luke and Ashton join him. Once Calum is buried beneath them, he whines and slurs out a bunch of ‘I hate you’s’ in his sleepy tone of voice. When that’s out of his system, he allows them to tell him happy birthday again, individually this time. Calum smiles at last, so Luke thinks it’s a good sign.

“Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it… now can I go back to sleep?”

“Not a chance,” Michael says, grinning. “I sacrificed my beauty sleep and woke up _dreadfully_ early, just for you! So I refuse to let you go back to sleep. Luke, hand me his party hat.”

Luke does as he’s instructed and hands Michael the little hat, laughing as he struggles to put it on Calum’s head. It’s pretty obvious that Calum is being uncooperative on purpose, but eventually Michael successfully gets the hat over his messy bedhair. Now Calum is pouting with a cute little hat on his head.

“Are you guys going to do this to me every year?” he grumbles.

“This time we didn’t bring you a cake with your face on it,” Luke points out.

“Plus, Ashton’s here this time,” Michael says.

“I’m in charge of baking the cake!” Ashton shouts proudly.

Calum lets his head fall back into the pillow again. “Oh boy.”

“Are you _doubting_ my baking skills, Hood?” Ashton asks, clearly offended. “That’s just mean, especially considering how often you beg for my delicious spaghetti!”

“I’m not doubting you, I’m sure you’ll do a very good job.” Calum reaches up to give Ashton a pat on the head. “Just don’t put any vegetables in it, and we’re good.”

Ashton grumbles about already knowing not to do such a thing, while the other boys laugh at the fact that he’d taken the teasing seriously.

At the moment, there’s nothing but peace and joy surrounding them, and Luke snuggles further into Calum’s side to get even more comfortable. Today will be such a busy day, but it’ll be a busy day filled with lots of fun and partying, so it’s okay. For now, Luke is satisfied with lying in bed with three of his favorite people.

“So how does it feel to be nineteen?” Luke asks after a while.

Calum hums for a moment before answering. “I don’t know, same as it felt to be eighteen? Except… now I suddenly have the urge to watch the weather channel and pay off my mortgage.”

Michael snorts. “Wait ‘til you’ve been nineteen for as long as I have, then you’ll start worrying about the economy, too.”

Calum rolls his eyes at that. “You’ve been nineteen for two months, Mikey.”

“You guys are making feel old. I hate being old,” Ashton huffs.

“You’re not old, stop saying that. You’re young and full of life,” Luke says.

“Easy for you to say, mister eighteen-year-old.” Ashton reaches out and pokes him on the nose. “I outta suck the youth right out of ya, suck you dry until there’s nothing left.”

A little smirk appears on Luke’s face when he says, “I hope you know how wrong that sounds.”

Ashton shrugs. “Maybe I meant for it to.” Then he leans a little closer to give Luke a peck on the lips.

“No making out on my bed!” Calum instantly shouts.

“We’re not making out!” Luke shouts in defense, but he’s blushing and it makes him look guilty.

“It’s just a little kiss, see?” Ashton demonstrates by giving Luke another chaste kiss. “Making out would be if I did this—”

“Stop that before I banish you from my room and uninvite you to my party!” Calum yells before any further damage could be done.

“You can’t do that,” Luke objects. “I’m your best friend, I have party privileges.”

Calum quickly shakes his head. “The best friend rule doesn’t apply because I’m the birthday boy, so anything I say goes.”

“Oh! Oh!” Michael chirps excitedly. “If they get uninvited, does that mean I get to eat their share of the cake?”

“And how’s that gonna work when _I’m_ the one making the cake?” Ashton counters. “Y’know what, we don’t have to put up with this unfair treatment. Luke, we’re going on strike!”

Luke frowns in confusion. “How exactly do we do that?”

Ashton pauses to think. “Well… we can start by making out on Calum’s bed?”

“Okay,” Luke agrees, laughing.

It’s obvious that they’re only joking around, but Calum starts to throw a fit, anyway; especially when Luke and Ashton begin to make loud kissy sounds with their lips, pretending to make out right then and there.

“Oh my god, Cal, they’re gonna fuck in your bed!” Michael yells, which only makes the situation worse.

Calum attempts to push them off the mattress, which leads to some sort of childish skirmish between the four of them until eventually, they all fall off the bed. It’s not the greatest feeling in the world since the floor is made of wood, but Luke is laughing far too hard to care about how his leg might start aching, later on. They’re all laughing like a bunch of idiots, and hey, maybe that’s what they are.

Luke sincerely wishes that it could be like this forever.

***

Operation Calum’s Birthday Party has commenced.

Due to the unplanned wrestling match that took place on Calum’s bed, they ended up wasting more time than necessary. Fortunately, they easily make up the loss time by working together, so it’s no big deal. Everything that they needed for tonight’s party had been bought the day before, so this day will be spent preparing and cleaning up a little—or a lot, since they’re such messy teenage boys.

Cleaning the beach house is the main task that had been assigned to Luke, which he continues to claim is discrimination towards him. No matter what they say, he is _not_ the messiest, okay. They just wanted to do all of the fun decorating so they forced the cleaning task onto him, like some sort of servant. Maybe it’s true that his room is usually the messiest, but obviously the party won’t be held in there so that shouldn’t be used against him. Besides, he has to clean it up anyway, since Calum’s sister will be using it during her very brief visit.

Originally Mali-Koa was going to stay in Calum’s room while Calum slept on the couch or shared Michael’s bed, but Luke had been eager to offer his room instead. It gave him an excuse to sleep at Ashton’s place for the next couple of nights (not that he needed an excuse since he did that a lot, anyway) so he didn’t mind.

Regardless of how he feels about the whole thing, Luke spends the entire morning dutifully cleaning around the beach house. Once the sheets on his bed have been changed, his floor swept, and his bedroom window opened up to let in the cool breeze, the bedroom has an entirely different feel to it. Luke probably deserves some type of reward for all of his efforts, but he doesn’t get one since everyone else is gone by now. Evidently, it took way longer than he thought to finish cleaning up.

No matter, he’s done for now and he might as well see how much progress Ashton has made on his task of being the baker, so Luke makes his way over to the little apartment.

Oddly enough, it takes Ashton almost five minutes to answer the door despite Luke’s persistent knocking.

“Oh, it’s you,” Ashton says, quickly ushering him inside.

Luke is about to ask who else would it be, but he’s a little too distracted by the disheveled state of Ashton’s appearance. He’s wearing an apron that’s pretty much covered in flour, and said flour also decorates his face and hands; somehow, there’s a little bit of it in his curls, too. Ashton looks as if he’d just been attacked by the Pillsbury Doughboy or something. It’s strangely amusing.

“Did you win the battle?” Luke asks with a cheeky grin.

Ashton looks confused until Luke points at all the flour, then he rolls his eyes and proceeds into the kitchen. Naturally Luke follows, and he more or less expects it when the kitchen is just as messy as Ashton is. How difficult could it be to make a single cake? At least the aroma coming from the oven smells delightful—a nice balance to the monstrosity around them.

“Where’s Michael and Calum?” Ashton asks.

“Still at the airport, most likely. They have to pick up Mali, remember?”

Ashton hums, seemingly distracted by the mess that he’s now attempting to scrub away with a dishtowel. Luke considers giving him a hand, but after spending hours of cleaning up the beach house by himself—or, _mostly_ by himself—it’s safe to say that he deserves a little break. At least that’s what he tells himself, so he leans against the kitchen counter like a lazy boy and watches Ashton move about in the dirty apron.

It’s a plain apron but he still looks cute in it, and Luke briefly lets his imagination wander because, let’s be real, Ashton would look absolutely adorable in a short, ruffled apron decorated with little patterns—especially if he was wearing nothing underneath it. Domestic, but sexy.

In a scenario that Luke just made up, Ashton would’ve opened the door in nothing but that apron and he would smile, those dimples making him look so innocent as he welcomes Luke home and…

“Stop it, Luke. There’s no time for that,” Ashton suddenly says.

Luke blinks. “Um… what?”

Ashton rolls his eyes with a smirk. “I see you over there, biting your lip and staring at me. You’ve got that look on your face that you always have when you’re thinking naughty things, so stop that. We’re on a tight schedule, y’know.”

Luke’s face instantly begins to heat up from embarrassment, and it basically screams _guilty_. Did he really get a certain look on his face when he thought about these things? Who knows, but apparently it happens enough to where Ashton can recognize it.

“I… I know we’re on a schedule, I wasn’t even thinking about… that,” Luke lies, but of course it’s no use.

“Sure you weren’t,” Ashton says, and he has the nerve to _laugh_.

In a mild panic, Luke glances down to see if he has a boner that gives him away even more.

He doesn’t.

 _Phew_.

“Anyway,” he says, clearing his throat, “what’s with the all the flour? You could’ve just bought one of those boxes of cake mix at the store, then all you would’ve had to do is add water and eggs.”

“I wanted to make it from scratch so that it would be _perfect_ ,” Ashton says. It doesn’t really make sense. “Also, I figured I’d get some baking practice in, since I plan to make Harry a cake for his birthday in a couple of weeks.”

Hearing that surprises Luke, but in a very good way.

“So you’re really gonna visit them, huh?”

“Yeah.” Ashton tosses the dirty dishtowel into the sink and sighs, looking exhausted. After washing his hands, he moves across the little kitchen and leans against the counter, right next to Luke. “I’ve already discussed it with my mum, and I want the visit to be a surprise for both Harry and Lauren so she promised not to say anything… god, I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces.”

Right now, Luke adores the look on Ashton’s face. His smile is soft and he’s probably imagining how great it’ll feel once he’s back home and with his family again. The visit will only be for a few days, but that’s easily better than nothing at all.

“Are you nervous about going back to Sydney?” Luke asks.

Ashton lets out another sigh and rests his head on Luke’s shoulder. “Obviously… but it’s a good kind of nervous, I think? And, like… I’m just tired of running away, I guess. I miss my family and now I’m gonna see them again, so who cares about the rest, y’know?”

Luke nods, and he’s still smiling because he feels so happy for Ashton. It doesn’t matter that he can’t exactly relate to the situation, he just knows that Ashton is _happy_. Like, legitimately happy now and that’s all Luke wants, to be honest.

“Proud of you,” Luke murmurs.

Ashton chuckles and leans back up, a hand rubbing the back of his neck in a bashful manner. “It’s not _that_ much of an accomplishment… but, thank you. None of this would’ve happened without you, by the way.”

Luke gives a nonchalant shrug. “I didn’t do much, just encouraged you a little and told you that dumb story.”

“Which is _a lot_ more than anyone has ever done before, now take the damn compliment.”

“Okay, okay,” Luke laughs. He knows not to argue with Ashton on things like this, so he doesn’t. Instead, he picks up the container of icing that sits near him on the counter, and then proceeds to drag his index finger around the edge so that he can eat some of it.

He’s really hungry, okay, and the small breakfast that he consumed before cleaning up for ten years isn’t cutting it anymore. They’re going out to a nice restaurant for Calum’s birthday dinner before the party, but Luke doesn’t think that he can wait that long. Besides, Betty Crocker is fucking delicious. The whole world knows that for a fact.

“So how long before the cake is finished?” he asks, licking his finger.

“Just a few more minutes, I think. Then I can—hey, stop eating that!”

Ashton suddenly snatches the container away before Luke can dip another finger in, and he whines like a hungry child that hasn’t eaten in days.

“Ash, I’m _hungry_ ,” Luke moans, making grabby hands at the container. “You’ve got, like, three whole containers of the stuff!”

“So? Eat a banana, it’s healthy.” Ashton snaps the lid back onto the icing, ruining Luke’s chances. “I need _all_ of the icing for the cake since it’s so massive, had to make sure it would be enough.”

Luke pouts but Ashton doesn’t give in, and he kind of hates how it’s so much harder to make Ashton crack than it is to make Calum or Michael. It should’ve been easy, given the status of their ‘relationship’ with each other—but sometimes Ashton really does act like a dedicated father, which Calum constantly teases him about. So he denies Luke the chance to eat out of the icing container and doesn’t even flinch at the presence of Luke’s almighty pouty lip.

Whatever, if he can’t have icing then he’ll just have to settle for whipped cream. When Ashton isn’t looking, Luke grabs the can of whipped cream off the counter and sprays some of it into his mouth, but of course the sound is loud enough to give him away.

“ _Lucas_ ,” Ashton says in that authoritative tone of his, “put it down—that’s for the cake, too! And don’t spray it in your mouth like that, it’s a topping not a snack.”

“Mmph,” Luke replies, but his mouth is still full so he swallows and tries again. “But you’re already using a ton of icing, why would you need to put both on there? That’s a little gross.”

“Only to you!” Ashton argues. “It’s my cake so I get to do whatever I want with it.”

“It’s Calum’s cake, though.”

“And by extension it’s _my_ cake because I made it _for_ Calum, so you lose. Now give me the whipped cream, Luke.”

Luke does something that he doesn’t normally do. He disobeys Ashton and sprays the cream into his mouth again, a smile on his face as he commits the crime. Ashton tries to take it from him but Luke is taller, and it’s a little mean but he holds the can where Ashton is unable to reach it. That is definitely one advantage to being a giant.

“Stop being a little shit and give it here!”

“No!” Luke laughs.

In the midst of their silly struggle, Luke accidentally presses down with his finger and a bit of the whipped cream comes spewing out, landing on their faces and some even makes it into Luke’s quiff.

He sets the can down onto the counter and quickly wipes away the bit of cream that had landed on his eyelid. Once he’s able to see again, only then does he notice that Ashton’s kind of frozen and it’s completely silent now. Luke freezes, too, wondering if Ashton is angry and if he’s in big trouble. He hadn’t meant for that to happen, but…

“Sorry,” he mutters, sincerely hoping that he hadn’t gone too far this time.

Suddenly, Ashton begins to giggle and he’s shaking his head as he looks up at Luke, that familiar grin on his face.

“Dammit, Luke… sometimes you are just too much.”

He thinks it’s meant to be endearing, but Luke frowns anyway. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ashton shrugs. “Whatever you want it to mean.” He then leans up and licks away the whipped cream on one of Luke’s cheeks.

Luke’s eyes widen upon feeling the tip of Ashton’s hot tongue sliding across his cheek, and the teasing way that Ashton is grinning at him is what pushes him to lean forward and do the same. A lick for a lick, it’s only fair. So Luke slowly licks away the cream in the corner of Ashton’s mouth, making him gasp. But, before Luke has a chance to pull away, Ashton catches his lips in a rough kiss.

Luke expects it when Ashton’s tongue finds its way into his mouth, so he complies and eagerly accepts it, never getting tired of the taste. It’s actually a little sweeter than usual because of the whipped cream, and apparently Ashton can taste the cream on Luke’s tongue, too, given the way that he’s sucking on it mercilessly. Luke couldn’t stop the whimper that escapes him even if he tried, especially when Ashton’s hands come around the tightly grip his ass.

“I thought… thought you said there wasn’t any time for this,” he breathes out.

“Mmm… there’s always enough time, if we’re quick about it,” Ashton says with a wink.

Well, if they only had a limited amount of time, it would be best not to waste a single second of it.

Luke reaches around Ashton’s waist and quickly unties the string of the apron. Once that’s completed, he lifts the thing over Ashton’s head and lets it drop to the floor. That can be taken care of later—for now, he wants to take care of Ashton and the growing problem in his jeans.

In a swift movement, Luke lifts Ashton up and sets him down onto the counter. He wants to resume the whole kissing thing that they had going on there, but Ashton is giggling again.

“Woah there, muscle man. Give me a warning next time,” Ashton teases.

“What? I’m just trying to be quick about it. Also, I figured it would be easier to suck you off like this instead of getting down on my knees.”

Ashton hums, impressed. “Good thinking.” He wraps his legs around Luke’s waist and squeezes a little, urging him to get on with it.

Without further ado, Luke helps Ashton remove his shirt and starts to put his mouth to good use, pressing sweet kisses down the base of his neck. Ashton’s skin doesn’t taste as sugary sweet as his tongue, but it’s just as good. Since he’d spent the past hour or two baking in the hot kitchen on this hot summer day, he’s sweating a little and Luke can taste a hint of salt on his skin. It’s nice because Luke likes sweaty Ashton. He admires the way that Ashton’s muscles glisten when he’s wet from too much sweat or the seawater, and Luke likes his smell, too.

Luke inhales deeply, breathing in the scent that is _Ashton_. It’s mixed with flour and a bit of sugar, but there’s still the familiar musky smell that Luke adores the most. He really likes how Ashton is this perfect mixture of boy and man—he’s young and immature just like the rest of them, and his delightful giggle sounds like that of a child’s; but he’s also a _man_ and some days his ruggedness is more evident than others.

That’s confusing and Luke doesn’t even know why he thinks this way, he just likes everything that is Ashton.

He drags his tongue down Ashton’s neck and along his lovely collarbones, and yeah they had agreed to be quick about this, but Luke finds it hard to rush something as important as enjoying Ashton’s body, for god’s sake. No matter how many times they’ve done this or how many more times they’ll continue to do this, Ashton’s body is a priceless commodity that must be cherished.

Luke knows exactly how to do it, too. He continues to pepper kisses along Ashton’s skin, listening to the relaxing sighs that hail from Ashton’s lips. When Luke reaches his chest, he takes the opportunity to slowly circle the tip of his tongue around one of Ashton’s nipples. That really gets Ashton going because it’s his most sensitive area, and Luke revels in the sharp gasps that come from him now. He’s trying not to make too much noise, and he’d even confessed once that he felt he was too loud during sex. Luke thinks that he’s perfect, though. In fact, the louder the better, so Luke gently bites down on the nipple to get a reaction out of him.

It works, of course.

“Fuck,” Ashton curses through clenched teeth.

So far so good, but he can do better than that. Luke reaches up with a hand to tease the other nipple while his tongue works on this one, fingers twisting and tongue licking in a synchronized rhythm. It only takes a few seconds of simultaneous sucking and pinching before Ashton has basically become an incoherent mess above him, moaning consistently from every bit of stimulation.

Luke switches over to the other perk nipple after a while, his mouth latching onto it while his fingers come up to play with the already-slick one. He sucks roughly this time, loving how Ashton is totally melting under his touch. It’s no secret that Luke becomes putty in Ashton’s hands, just from the sound of his voice or the slightest touch; but it’s nice to know that he can do the same. He briefly wonders if he can make Ashton come just like this, just from his nipples being sucked and the feeling of cold metal from Luke’s lip ring against his skin.

Unfortunately, Ashton pushes him off before he can make that discovery.

“Stop m-messing around and suck my dick already,” Ashton huffs, completely out of breath from the heavy panting that he’s been doing. His face is really red and it makes Luke smile.

“Bossy as usual,” Luke murmurs, but he decides to do as he’s told.

After quickly undoing the button on Ashton’s jeans and unzipping them, he waits for Ashton to lift his hips before tugging them down along with his underwear until they’re at mid-thigh region. Maybe doing such a thing in the kitchen is totally unsanitary, but Luke is excited and so is Ashton. It’s obvious from the fact that he’s fully hard already—probably due to the torturous nipple play—so that task is already taken care of. Now Luke can go straight for the gold and he’s about to, but then Ashton is grabbing his attention again.

“Here,” Ashton says, nudging the can of whipped cream towards him. “Why don’t cha use this, since you like it so much.”

That’s quite an interesting suggestion, to say the least. And, although it’s not as if Luke has never thought of doing such a thing before, he never really imagined that he’d actually get a chance to try it. Now, Ashton is offering this chance to him and _fuck yes_ he’s going to take it.

Luke gingerly takes the can of whipped cream and is glad to feel the weight of it, which means that he hadn’t eaten it all. However, he isn’t really sure what to do next because, well, this is obviously new to him. Ashton said to ‘use’ it so maybe he should just spray it on, then? There’s no other way that it can be used, after all. Usually, Ashton would’ve said something by now whenever Luke looked uncertain, but this time he simply waits to see what the younger boy will do.

Well, it can’t hurt to go with his instincts. Luke sprays a dollop of the cream onto his finger and reaches down to lather it on the head of Ashton’s dick. As soon as it meets the skin, Ashton intakes a sharp breath that alarms Luke so he freezes.

“It’s a little cold, that’s all,” Ashton reassures him, grinning with excitement.

“Sorry,” Luke murmurs, and he leans forward to kiss Ashton’s lips again; not in the rough manner from before, but gentle and sweet, just like Ashton is whenever he isn’t being bossy or silly or trying to act cool.

Apparently the kiss lasts for too long, because Ashton whines and pushes him away again.

“Luke. My dick. _Now_.”

Oh yeah. He’s also rather impatient sometimes.

“Alright, alright. I’m on it,” Luke laughs.

Fortunately the whipped cream hasn’t melted yet, so he leans down and licks some of it up with the tip of his tongue, just barely grazing over the head of Ashton’s cock. It’s still enough to make Ashton gasp, however, so Luke continues to lick away the cream until it’s gone and he’s being demanded to use some more. This time he sprays on a lot, but instead of giving teasing licks, he slowly takes the head into his mouth to taste both at the same time. It’s not bad and maybe it would taste even better with chocolate or caramel syrup, but perhaps they can try that another time.

Luke swirls his tongue around the head, the whipped cream in his mouth swishing back and forth as it quickly begins to melt from the heat. It’s difficult not to swallow it all at once and his throat fights against him, but he manages to hold it on his tongue until he has no choice but to gulp it down. From this odd position he can’t really glance up through his lashes to see the look on Ashton’s face like he normally would, but he can tell that Ashton is enjoying this because he’s making those little noises again.

By now, Luke probably recognizes the sound of Ashton’s moans more than he recognizes the sound of his own name.

Luke pulls back a bit and spends a moment just flicking his tongue up and down the slit, sighing contently. “You taste so good, Ash…”

“Go d-deeper, then,” Ashton says, but it comes out sounding like a plea and sends shivers down Luke’s spine.

So Luke nods and presses a single kiss to the head of Ashton’s dick, grabbing the whipped cream again. It doesn’t seem to matter anymore that they’re using it all up, because Ashton doesn’t complain when the length of his cock is basically coated in the stuff, all the way down to the base. He simply watches with wide eyes as Luke gradually takes it into his mouth, inch by inch.

The excess whipped cream smears the sides of Luke’s mouth and gets onto his nose a bit, prompting Ashton to reach down with a finger and wipe some of it away. He then brings the finger up to his own lips and sucks the cream off of it, humming in delight.

And Luke sort of falls in love with this moment—this moment when his mouth is filled with Ashton’s dick and whipped cream and there’s a hand in his hair now, gently tugging as he bobs his head up and down. He falls in love with Ashton’s moans that grow louder by the second and the grip that tightens in his scalp. Maybe he went a _little_ overboard with the cream and he realizes that when he almost chokes on it, but going down on someone and knowing that you’re making them feel good is worth it.

Especially if that someone is Ashton.

So yeah, Luke falls in love with the moment. He falls for the feeling, the taste, the smell… speaking of which, the aroma that fills his nostrils is particularly strong right now. Almost overwhelming, in fact. It’s not until he suddenly remembers where they are and what they’re doing—or, _supposed_ to be doing that it occurs to him.

Luke quickly pulls off of Ashton’s dick with whipped cream along the sides of his face and panic in his eyes.

“ _The cake_ ,” he whispers in horror.

Those two words are the only explanation that Ashton needs to understand the situation.

“Shit,” Ashton curses. He hops off the counter when Luke moves out of the way and half-heartedly pulls his jeans back up, already waddling over to the stove. When he opens the oven door a bit of smoke comes out and he curses again, quickly reaching inside to pull out the cake.

Luke’s heart temporarily stops. “Wait! Ashton, the mitts—”

Too late.

Basically, the cake ends up burnt and Luke has to retrieve the first-aid kit to deal with Ashton’s burnt hands, which luckily aren’t as burnt as the cake. Ironically, this mishap had little to do with their decision play with the whipped cream, but everything to do with the fact that Ashton had set the oven on the wrong temperature, resulting in the cake batter baking far too quickly. Luke would’ve laughed his ass off at the ridiculousness of this whole situation, but he could see that Ashton was upset and didn’t want to add salt to his wounds.

Or heat, in this case.

Thus, he keeps his mouth shut and kisses Ashton’s bandaged hands at least two dozen times; not that kisses will make the pain go away, but it’s a start.

They make the decision to go out and buy a cake instead.

***

Operation Calum’s Birthday Party is still in effect.

The actual party doesn’t start for a couple more hours, but the others make it back from the airport a little later than planned. So, instead of hanging out at the beach house for a short while, they go directly over to the restaurant to meet up with Luke and Ashton.

For some odd reason, Luke feels a little nervous about Mali-Koa meeting Ashton and he only realizes it once it’s about to happen. She has basically been like an older sister to him these past few years, so he feels like it’s important that she likes and accepts Ashton. That shouldn’t be a problem because everyone _adores_ Ashton and it’s nearly impossible to dislike him, but Luke still feels like he needs to make a good first impression. Why? Who knows.

He purposely ignores the fact that he’s acting like Ashton is his boyfriend that he’s bringing him home to meet the family.

“Sorry we’re late,” Calum says upon their arrival. “Michael sucks at navigating so my sister took over and drove us the rest of the way.”

“Lies!” Michael shouts over him. “She offered to drive and I let her. You’re just bitter because the hug that she gave me lasted longer than the hug that she gave you, so now you’ve lost your status as favorite brother. Hah!”

“I’m her _actual_ brother, though. Not you. So that doesn’t even make sense!”

It’s hardly been sixty seconds and they’re bickering already. Luke doesn’t know why he expected any differently.

Mali-Koa ignores it all and walks straight over to Luke, a happy smile gracing her gorgeous features. “Finally, someone sensible. _Please_ never leave me in a car with those two ever again, not even for five minutes.”

Luke nods and his smile is just as happy. “I understand your pain, but after enduring a nine-hour car ride multiple times, I’ve gotten used to it. Well, mostly.”

They share a laugh and a moment later, Luke gets his own Mali-hug. Yes, those are real things. He’s experienced them many times and they are beautiful. Luke likes to imagine that she saves her best hugs for him, because he doesn’t annoy her as much as the other two boys. Even so, he knows that he’ll never take Calum’s spot as her favorite, and that’s okay because they are the cutest siblings in the world, probably.

When the glorious hug is over, Mali-Koa pulls back a little to take in Luke’s appearance.

“Oh my god, Luke—have you grown another foot or something?” she teases. “And I’m wearing _heels_ , you shouldn’t be towering over me this much!”

Luke’s smile is a tad bashful now. “I don’t think I’ve grown that much since we last saw each other…”

Instead of accusing Luke of lying, because he most certainly is, Mali-Koa simply shakes her head and directs her attention to the person standing near them. _Awkwardly_ standing near them.

Fuck, Luke feels like an idiot.

“Oh! Um—Mali, this is Ashton,” he finally says, though it’s a bit late. “Ashton, this is Calum’s sister, Mali. She’s my sister, too, but not really. Just, like, kind of. In a pretend way, I guess?”

 “Great explanation, Luke,” Ashton teases with a roll of his eyes. “Hi Mali, it’s nice to meet you.”

Luke watches as they exchange polite greetings and Ashton takes her hand, chastely kissing the back of it. Then he makes some silly joke about fruits and airports that has her laughing loudly, and Luke wants to know when the hell Ashton became so _smooth_. It’s true that he wanted to make a good impression, but now Luke might actually start pouting like a child because he wants attention from both of them but they’re giving attention to each other instead. What the hell!

“Oh, so you’ve met Ashton,” Calum says—and where the hell did he come from? “He’s the lifeguard I was telling you about before, the one that saved Luke’s life.”

Mali-Koa’s eyes widen when she puts two and two together. Luke is surprised as well, because he hadn’t known that Calum relayed that particular bit of information to his sister; but, then again, they basically told each other everything. So it was to be expected.

“I told you he was hot,” Calum mock-whispers into her ear, making her laugh and playfully swat his arm.

Luke can see a tinge of pink blossoming on Ashton’s cheeks.

“He’s also a surfer,” Michael cuts in. “He taught Luke how to surf and that’s basically all they ever do together now. Just surfing.”

Calum nods, catching onto Michael’s suggestive tone. “That’s true, yeah. They _surf_ together a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Day and night, because they can’t seem to get enough of that surfing—”

“Okay then! Enough talking, how about we go inside now?” Luke suggests before his face resembles a ripe tomato. He isn’t stupid, he knows that they’re not actually talking about surfing and Ashton knows it, too. He looks almost as flustered as Luke does, in fact.

Thankfully, everyone agrees that they shouldn’t waste any more time, so they enter through the front doors of the restaurant. It’s a pretty nice place that looks more expensive that it actually is, and Luke is ecstatic when they’re finally sitting at a table and their order has been taken. He’s still incredibly hungry, since he only consumed a piece of fruit after the cake fiasco back at Ashton’s place. But now he has a yummy plate of seafood on its way, he’s surrounded by his best friends, and he’s going to attend a fun party afterwards, so he couldn’t be happier.

“Hey Ash, what the hell happened to your hands?” Michael asks in the middle of their conversation.

Luke kind of panics for no reason. “They’re gloves. He’s wearing… gloves.”

Calum frowns at the obvious lie. “It’s summer. Why would anyone wear gloves in the summer?”

“It’s fashion. Don’t question it,” Luke insists.

“Shut up, Luke. They’re obviously bandages.” Michael redirects his attention to Ashton again. “What happened?”

Ashton handles the situation much better than Luke had. “Oh, just a little baking accident,” he says with a shrug, and the subject is quickly dropped after that.

They’re sitting next to each other so out of the corner of his eye, Luke catches the funny look that Ashton sends his way. He can’t help it that he’s a bad liar, he just really didn’t want to have to explain that he’d been in the middle of sucking Ashton’s dick when Calum’s cake nearly set on fire—then Ashton had rushed to save it, only to burn himself because he wasn’t thinking.

So yeah, even if Calum’s sister wasn’t present at the moment, Luke thinks that that particular story should be kept between him and Ashton.

The current conversation topic has something to do with music, which is a subject that each of them could probably speak about nonstop. So Luke tries his best to pay attention to what’s being said.

“Oh, and Ashton can play the drums,” Michael was saying to Mali-Koa. “He’s really good at it, too. Right, Luke?”

Luke nods, feeling his face heat up a little. “Yeah, he is.”

He remembers the first private drumming session that Ashton had given him a few weeks ago. He remembers sitting on the couch at Ashton’s apartment, watching with wide eyes, awestruck by the amount of talent in one human being. Afterwards, Luke had asked Ashton to show him a ‘thing or two’ with the drum kit, suddenly inspired to learn a new instrument. He doesn’t actually remember anything that he learned that day, but he does remember sitting on the drum stool, his body tingling with excitement as Ashton jerked him off from behind.

But, yeah. Ashton is really good at playing the drums.

“We’re basically like a band now,” Michael says.

Calum snorts obnoxiously. “Just because we can all play instruments doesn’t make us a band. We haven’t even played together yet!”

“Keyword: _yet_. We’ve never had a drummer until now, so Ashton is basically our missing link! Isn’t he, Luke?”

Luke would very much like to know why Michael keeps asking for his confirmation, but instead he sighs and shakes his head at the question.

“No. Ashton’s too good for us. He deserves to join a real band with cool musicians who don’t argue over whose turn it is to kill the spider in the bathroom.”

“Luke, I’ve been killing spiders for Calum since we were little,” Mali-Koa says with a smirk. “So you might as well give up hoping that he’ll ever change.”

Luke laughs, totally agreeing with that statement.

“None of that is true, whatsoever!” Calum argues. “You know what, Luke, I’m kicking you out of the band. Ashton, you’re in.”

“You can’t kick Luke out of the band, he’s the lead singer,” Michael says. “I’m kicking Calum out of the band. Ashton can stay because he has curly hair and every band needs a curly-haired member.”

“You’re still forgetting that we’re not an _actual_ band…” Luke mutters.

“Do I get a say in any of this?” Ashton asks.

“No,” the other boys reply in unison.

Mali-Koa turns to Ashton. “How in the world do you put up with them?” she asks.

Ashton shrugs. “I don’t know, but I think feeding them doggy treats every now and then helps.”

“Yeah, right. You’re only pretending to be the mature one because my sister is here,” Calum huffs.

“Ashton laughs at the word ‘boobs’ and makes fruit talk to each other,” Michael adds, because it’s mostly true.

“That’s only _half_ true,” Ashton claims instead.

“Do you really feel like you have to put up with me?” Luke asks, pouting a little.

Ashton shakes his head and gives Luke a reassuring pat on the thigh. “No, Lukey—I’m only teasing. Y’know I like ya well enough.”

That makes Luke smile, and maybe it’s a little too couple-y, but he places his hand on top of Ashton’s since it’s still resting on his leg.

“I like you, too,” he murmurs.

Then they’re staring into each other’s eyes and smiling like two love-struck puppies, momentarily forgetting the fact that they’re not the only people at the dinner table.

“And here we have a classic case of Luke sucking up to Ashton,” Michael mutters from across the table.

“ _Luke has a crush on Ash~ton, Luke has a crush on Ash~ton_ ,” Calum teases in a singsong voice.

It’s not as if the entire world doesn’t already know that, but Luke turns beet red anyway.

“Stop picking on Luke or you’re not getting your birthday cake,” Ashton warns, and the teasing stops immediately.

“That’s not fair, I’m the birthday boy,” Calum whines. “And Mikey’s the one who started it!”

“No, I didn’t!” Michael lies.

They proceed to argue about it until their dinner finally arrives. Luke feels much better by then, especially since Ashton keeps a hand on his leg for the remainder of the time that they’re there. Aside from the inevitable teasing and bickering, he’s happy that everyone gets along and it feels like they’ve all been friends for decades. No surprise there, since Ashton fits in with them perfectly. He’s special like that.

Luke pretends not to notice the way that Mali-Koa repeatedly glances between the two of them, a knowing smile on her face.

***

It’s nearly party time, but Luke is having trouble deciding on what he wants to wear. He’s currently in his bedroom, trying on shirt after shirt while Ashton sits on the bed and watches him. Technically it isn’t _his_ room at the moment, but his clothes are still here and he’ll have to remind himself to take a few items with him when goes to Ashton’s place, later on. Of course, he’ll probably just end up wearing something of Ashton’s so it doesn’t really matter.

“How’s this?” Luke asks, doing a quick spin to showcase the current band shirt he’s wearing.

“Looks nice on you,” Ashton says.

Luke shakes his head, anyway. “I don’t like it. Too boring.”

So, he removes the article of clothing and searches through his pile of shirts for something else.

“Luke, it’s not that big of a deal,” Ashton says, sighing for the tenth time in a row. “Just pick a shirt so that we can join the others, okay?”

“Wait, I think I know now.” Luke haphazardly pulls on yet another shirt and then a flannel on top of it. “Okay, I need your opinion. This shirt, but with or without the flannel?”

Ashton hums, squinting his eyes as if that will help him see better. “How about… lose the shirt, keep the flannel.”

Surprisingly, Luke is satisfied with that suggestion.

“Okay,” he says, quickly making the change.

“Wait a second, are those my…? So that’s where they’ve been!”

Luke turns back around, facing Ashton as he buttons up the plaid shirt. “Hm?”

“You’re wearing my underwear,” Ashton explains, pointing an accusing finger at him. “One of my favorite pair, too!”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“And how do you know they’re yours?” Luke asks, just to be cheeky. He knows that they aren’t his, he just likes to be a little shit sometimes.

Ashton rolls his eyes, looking impatient. “I can see the waistband above your jeans. Those are definitely mine, Luke.”

Since it really isn’t a big deal to him, Luke merely shrugs and goes back to readjusting the buttons on his shirt. “No wonder they feel a little weird. You should wear boxers, way more comfortable.”

“Don’t criticize my choice of underwear if you’re just going to _steal_ them anyway,” Ashton retorts, laughing a little since it’s kind of amusing, to be honest.

“Not stealing, borrowing.”

Once Luke comes to the conclusion that this is the best that he can manage, he stops fiddling with the hem of his shirt and gives up completely. It’s just a birthday party and it isn’t even _his_ birthday, he reminds himself; plus, he’s going to very drunk soon and that’s all that matters.

“C’mere,” Ashton says, urging him to come closer.

Luke obeys without hesitation. He steps closer to the bed until he’s standing between Ashton’s legs and watches as Ashton reaches up, undoing the first few buttons of his shirt.

“It looks better if you show a little chest,” Ashton murmurs.

“I don’t even have chest hair, though.”

“It’s not about chest hair, I just like seeing your chest,” Ashton confesses, a little smirk appearing on his face.

What a shameless dork. Luke isn’t about to deny him that pleasure, though, and he supposes that the shirt really does look better now.

Suddenly, Ashton wraps his arms around Luke’s waist and leans forward a little, closing the space between them as he nuzzles his face against Luke’s tummy.

“What are you doing…?” Luke asks, chuckling a little.

Ashton exhales a deep breath that warms Luke’s skin through the fabric of his shirt.

“Hugging your stomach,” he says, voice muffled.

“Okay. Why are you hugging my stomach?”

“Because I feel like it.”

Luke lets out another soft laugh and shakes his head. He’ll probably never be able to fully understand the things that went on inside of Ashton’s mind, but that’s okay. He likes the thrill that comes with trying to figure the guy out, so he doubts he’ll ever get tired of the randomness.

Luke raises a hand and places it on top of Ashton’s head, slowly carding his fingers through the silky hair. When Ashton tilts his head to gaze up at Luke, those hazel eyes are soft and innocent and contains something within them that fills Luke with warmth. Adoration, maybe? That could be it, but Luke feels like it’s much stronger than that.

A sudden knock at the door interrupts their rather intimate moment.

“Can I come in, or are you guys in compromising positions?” Calum asks from the other side.

“Oh yeah, Luke, shove it in my ear!” Ashton shouts in a husky tone. He then starts to make loud, exaggerated moaning sounds, so Luke clamps a hand over his mouth to make him stop.

“Yeah, you can come in!” he yells, trying _really_ hard not to laugh.

A few seconds later, the bedroom door slowly creaks open and Calum hesitantly slides into the room, a hand over his eyes just in case.

“Is it safe to look or will I be scarred for the rest of my life?”

“You can look, Calum. We’re not doing anything,” Luke quickly answers, just in case Ashton was going to say something stupid again.

Calum lets his hand drop back down to his side and lets out a sigh of relief. “Good, ‘cause after last time, I thought I was going to have to scrape my eyeballs out… I never want to see _that_ side of my best friends ever again.”

“Well, you should’ve learned how to knock sooner,” Luke teases, sticking out his tongue.

“So what’s up, birthday boy?” Ashton asks, prompting Calum to remember why he came in there in the first place.

“Oh, right. I came to see what the hell was taking you guys so long—you’re missing out on my party!”

Luke frowns. “Uh, what do you mean?”

Calum resembles an overexcited squirrel now, already half-way out of the room as he rushes out an explanation. “People have started to show up already, so come on!”

Luke and Ashton glance at each other once more before deciding that they might as well just follow. Sure enough, there are already a nice amount of people in the living room, and there’s a knock on the door as someone else arrives. They hadn’t expected anyone to show up for at least a little while longer, but they’re well prepared so it’s no big deal.

Unexpectedly, a ‘nice amount’ of people somehow turns into an overabundance of people, some of which Luke is sure that he’s never seen before in his entire life. The music is blaring loudly and there are so many bodies in the little beach house now, it’s almost ridiculous; some people even choose to stay outside, sipping their beers and laughing at who-knows-what.

The people that were _actually_ invited includes some of their school friends who could make it there, Lindsey and her friends, and a few others whom they’ve talked to a few times during these past two months. So basically, it was meant to be a moderately sized party, but now it’s almost as wild as what Luke will assume frat parties are like. He has no idea how these other people heard about the party or why they randomly decided to crash it, but fortunately, Calum doesn’t seem to mind it all.

In fact, Calum spends most of his time drinking and laughing and being worshipped by the people that recognize that it’s _his_ birthday party, so everything seems okay. Luke is grateful for that, because it would’ve been totally awkward to try and get people to leave. As long as his friend is having a good time, that’s all that matters.

Another positive is that he and Ashton stick closely together almost the entire time—not because they can’t tolerate being away from each other for a little while, but because they really enjoy being near to one another. With Ashton, Luke never feels smothered or like he desperately needs to be alone for at least five minutes. They fit together nicely and he still feels like an individual, not an extension of someone else.

It’s perfect, really.

So Luke introduces Ashton to some of his old friends from school and they absolutely adore him, just like Luke knew that they would. At the moment, Ashton is telling their small group some exaggerated story about surfing during a rainstorm, which may or may not be true, but Luke watches and listens attentively, a smile on his face and those same heart eyes from before.

“Cake time!” comes Michael’s sudden shout from somewhere in the room, just loud enough to be heard over Teenage Dream blaring on the stereo. He finds Luke’s group a moment later. “C’mon, we’re about to sing Happy Birthday to Calum!”

Soon enough they’re all gathered around the dining table—well, everyone who could fit—and Luke watches as Ashton lights the candles on the cake. The one that they had picked up from the store is really big, and that’s a good thing, considering how many people will probably want some. It’s a chocolate cake and the icing decorations are soccer-themed. In all honesty, it looks as if it were meant for a ten-year-old, not a drunken nineteen-year-old. Despite how cutesy it is, Calum seems to love it because he’s grinning from ear-to-ear and clapping excitedly. Once again, it probably has to do with the fact that he’s drunk.

Everyone’s at least a little drunk, though, so no one makes any snide comments about how the cake looks.

Michael leads them in singing Happy Birthday and the cheer that follows is loud enough to rupture Luke’s eardrums, but it’s worth it. Being the least intoxicated member of their household, Mali-Koa cuts the cake once Calum has made his wish, and they all begin to help in passing out the slices.

“Happy Birthday, munchkin!” Mali-Koa dabs her finger in a bit of the icing and wipes it on Calum’s nose, surprising him.

“Dammit, we should’ve smashed his whole face in it when we had the chance!” Michael exclaims, looking disappointed. “Can’t believe I didn’t think of that before, and now it’s almost gone.”

“But then the cake would’ve had Calum’s germs in it and no one would be able to eat it,” Luke points out.

Calum wipes the icing from his nose and sticks his tongue out in Luke’s direction. “Well, I wouldn’t want to eat _your_ nasty face germs, either.”

“Wait, I wasn’t saying that to be mean, I was just telling the truth. That’s how germs spread.”

Suddenly there’s a fork in his mouth that Luke hadn’t put there himself.

“Thanks for the info, mister germaphobe,” Ashton says, giggling. “Now hush and enjoy the cake. I didn’t burn myself for nothing, y’know.”

That’s true. Although this particular cake is yummy, Luke still wishes that he had gotten a taste of Ashton’s baking. Oh well, at least he got a _delightful_ taste of Ashton’s dick instead.

Since there aren’t too many places to sit and eat, Luke and Ashton squeeze into the armchair in the living room. They spend more time feeding each other than they do feeding themselves, and maybe Luke enjoys the taste of sugary icing and chocolate on Ashton’s lips a bit too much. No one pays any mind to their not-so-discreet snogging, though.

Consuming the sweet birthday cake seems to have greatly satisfied everyone, because the party finally begins to calm down as people slowly start to disappear; there’s still a crowd, but it’s not nearly as bad now.

Because Michael wouldn’t stop bugging him about it, Calum decides that it’s time to accept the gifts from the people who brought them, despite the fact that he stated no one had to bring him anything at all.

Nearly everyone ignored that wish.

“Open my present first!” Michael demands. He plops down onto the couch and sits as closely as he possibly can to Calum. He’s beaming as he hands the wrapped gift to his friend, but whether it’s from excitement or drunkenness, no one can tell.

“Hey, I helped make it, too,” Luke reminds him with a pout.

Michael rolls his eyes but still corrects himself. “Okay, open _our_ present first. It was my idea, but Luke and I put it together so technically it’s ours. Whatever, just open it!”

He probably won’t calm down until Calum does as he says, so with nimble fingers, Calum proceeds to open the sloppily wrapped gift. The first thing that he notices is how it feels like a book or something similar, but upon freeing the item from the wrappings, he sees that it’s not merely a book at all.

It’s obvious that it’s a scrapbook. The cover is decorated with tons of silly doodles and inside jokes that he’d nearly forgotten about, and in the center is the word ‘Cuzmuffin’ glued on in colorful letters with a big heart next to it. It’s really fucking adorable and looks as if it was put together by a couple of nine-year-olds, and maybe that’s what makes it perfect. It’s sloppy and cute and was made by his best friends, so Calum loves it already.

“Open it,” Michael tells him again, still excited.

Calum smiles and finally begins to look through the scrapbook, feeling excited himself. The first few pages are filled with nothing but pictures of him and Michael when they were younger, and it’s almost like telling the story of how their friendship developed in the first place, because with each flip of the page, the images reveal how they’ve grown older from the previous ones. Soon enough, pictures of Luke start to appear and although it was only three years ago that they became a trio, it feels like so much longer.

“We finished decorating the scrapbook a few days ago, but Mali had to bring us the pictures that we needed for it,” Luke says.

Calum wonders how the hell they managed to put something like this together without him knowing a single thing, because let’s be real, his friends sucked at sneaking around and keeping secrets. But, somehow they created this for him and he’s pleasantly surprised, having not expected to receive such a thing.

The last two pictures are very recent because they feature Ashton within them, too. One is a selfie that the four of them took together during their last visit to the arcade, while the other was taken on the beach and shows them posing with two failed sandcastles. Calum laughs when he remembers that day. It was ‘Team Lashton’ versus ‘Team Malum’ to see who could make the least hideous sandcastle, although they never decided on a winner. Yeah, they sucked just that badly.

They didn’t really care, though, because it had been fun and Luke and Ashton had tried to bury Michael in the sand, a form of revenge for when he’d left Luke in that hole on the very first day. Then, Michael claimed that they were out to get him and he didn’t stop whining until Calum had bought him ice cream. Once again, it wasn’t that long ago at all, yet it really feels like it.

“Thanks, guys,” Calum says as he closes the scrapbook. “It was really sweet of you to make this for me… I love it, it rocks. Thank you.”

“But wait, you didn’t read the little things that we wrote for you on the last page,” Michael says.

“I know, I’ll read it later. Promise.”

“…Are you about to cry?” Luke asks, because Calum’s making that ‘I’m-too-tough-and-manly-to-have-human-emotions’ face that he puts on when he’s really trying not to cry. That’s probably why he doesn’t want to read their little notes, because he’s afraid of _actually_ crying in front of them.

How adorable.

“I’m not!” Calum insists, but he sniffles a little and it’s so goddamn obvious now.

“Aww,” Michael coos. He wraps his arms around Calum’s waist and snuggles further into his side. “I love you, too, Cuzmuffin. Oh! I also got you this sick new video game that we’re gonna play together—you _will_ play it with me, right? Won’t you, Calum?”

Calum chuckles a little and nods. “Alright, sure, I’ll give it a try.”

“And I bought you a couple of beanies,” Luke says with a grin. “Since I, uh, borrowed some of yours before.”

“You mean stole?”

“ _Borrowed_ ,” Luke insists. So he may or may not have a bad habit of taking people’s clothing items. No big deal.

Ashton suddenly clears his throat, and Luke realizes that he’s been totally silent this entire time.

“I got you something, too,” Ashton says, almost timid in the way that he speaks. “I mean, made. I made you something.”

Ashton stands up from his previous position in Luke’s lap—because of course he had still been sitting in it—and walks over to the couch to hand something to Calum. It’s rather cute to see that he’s nervous, despite knowing that Calum will like and appreciate the gift, anyway. But, Luke knows how important this is to Ashton, because he hasn’t had any real friends since high school, so Calum and Michael really matter to him.

“It’s just a bracelet, since I know that you collect them, too,” Ashton explains. “I wasn’t sure what else you would like, so I made this… if you don’t like it, then blame Luke because he told me that it would be a good idea.”

“Hey!” Luke whines. Why was everyone picking on him today especially? So unfair.

Calum just laughs a little and takes the bracelet from Ashton’s hand, examining it. Ashton had picked specific charms to decorate it with, such as the miniature soccer balls to represent Calum’s love for the sport and tiny bones to represent his love for dogs. There’s also a turtle, since Ashton hadn’t allowed Calum to take the sea turtle home with him when they had gone snorkeling, that one day. It’s kind of an inside joke, and Calum laughs again because he gets it.

“So, uh… Happy Birthday,” Ashton says.

When Calum smiles up at him, it’s warm and sincere. “I love it, Ash. It’s really awesome, thank you.” He then slides it onto his wrist, still beaming.

Ashton least expects it when Calum stands up—wobbling just a bit since he’s still rather intoxicated—and gives him a tight hug. It doesn’t take long at all for Ashton to return it with just as much enthusiasm, a happy smile on his face.

“Group hug!” Michael declares, joining them.

Oh, what the hell. Luke might as well get in on some of this action, too. He stands up and wraps his long arms around his best friends, squeezing until he physically can’t anymore. This whole thing is pretty silly, but they’re silly, too. Silly and really drunk.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough!” Calum shouts from the middle of the group hug. “I’m _suffocating_ , I don’t wanna die on my birthday!”

The other boys laugh but agree that that would totally suck, so they hesitantly let go. Calum receives his remaining birthday gifts from everyone who had brought them, then Michael and Mali-Koa aid him in piling all of the stuff into his room. Even though he hadn’t wanted any gifts, it’s quite clear that Calum is very satisfied with everything that he got.

The sugar from the cake mixed with the amount of alcohol that he’s consumed so far, makes Luke feel like he’s crashing. It’s probably not even that late into the night, but he can’t really keep up with the hype of the party so he stays in the armchair for a while. More people have disappeared, but the party is still very much alive so he’s satisfied with just watching for now.

Of course he doesn’t get his wish.

Ashton randomly comes over and removes the mostly-empty bottle of beer that Luke’s been nursing, and starts to tug him by the hand.

“Dance with me,” Ashton says with a smile, and Luke wonders how the fuck he always manages to stay energized.

Before he can protest, Ashton is tugging him away from the chair and towards a free corner in the living room. The music is still playing loudly and some people are dancing, but mostly everyone seems to be engaged in conversation. Unlike that particular night at the club when he and Ashton had danced together for the first time, there aren’t any flashing lights and there’s more than enough space to move around in—which means that people are more likely to see them.

For some odd reason, Luke doesn’t mind that. He no longer minds the wandering eyes and the possibility of looking stupid. He doesn’t even feel nervous when Ashton places his hands low on his hips, just like the time before, and they begin to dance to the loud music that Luke isn’t even paying attention to.

The only thing that has his attention is Ashton. Ashton’s warm body grinding against his, Ashton’s hips underneath his palms, the feeling of Ashton’s hands on his skin and in his hair and everywhere else—that’s what Luke pays attention to. He only pays attention to that, because nothing else matters anymore.

And this time, Ashton doesn’t need to guide him. Luke has come to memorize every bump and curve of Ashton’s body, and Ashton knows Luke’s body, too. So they move easily to the beat of the music, flowing together like yin and yang and why the fuck did Luke _ever_ care about being seen in the first place? The boy that he was about seven weeks ago is not the same boy that he is now, and he thinks that maybe Ashton has something to do with that. Yeah, he definitely has something to do with it, but hey, Luke isn’t complaining.

Just a moment ago, Luke felt as if he was crashing, but now he feels like a flame that burns brighter with each and every passing moment. Ashton’s touch does that to him. _Ashton_ does that to him. It really does all come back to Ashton, doesn’t it? No matter, Luke accepted long ago that Ashton drives him crazy and probably always will.

Because he feels like it and because it’s _right there_ , Luke clamps his mouth down on Ashton’s neck, nipping the skin gently. Despite the loud music, he hears the sharp gasp that escapes Ashton’s lips and feels how his body shivers drastically. Even his gyrating hips falter a little and he fists his hand in the back of Luke’s shirt, an attempt to regain his composure. It’s definitely inappropriate and Luke should probably reconsider his actions, but he doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t.

Instead, he lathers his tongue across the new mark at the base of Ashton’s neck, knowing what the contact does to Ashton but not really caring. As a result, Ashton leans his head back just enough for them to make eye contact, and he stares into Luke’s pupils with an expression on his face that can only mean one thing. Luke smiles at him, feigning innocence, although they both know what’s about to go down.

Less than ten seconds later, Luke is giggling as he’s pulled through the small crowd of people lining the hallway. Ashton’s grip is firm and Luke wants to interlock their fingers, but he knows that those hands will be busy doing other things in just a short moment.

After knocking on the bathroom door and not receiving an answer, Ashton turns the knob and opens the door, pulling Luke inside with him and shutting it again. A split second after hearing the click of the lock, there’s a mouth pressing roughly against his own and Luke stumbles back a little, leaning against the door as Ashton kisses him.

Well, more like sucks the life out of him, but of course Luke still isn’t complaining. He doesn’t even try to hold in the excited moan that escapes him, since there really isn’t any point in being embarrassed about it. Ashton makes him feel good and he’s going to let him know that—hell, Ashton makes him feel _amazing_ and some other things that Luke can’t properly describe. But, while words fail him, at least he can show how he feels through his lips and the soft touches that they give each other.

“You know,” Luke starts to say when they’ve broken apart to take in oxygen, “my room is right at the end of the hall.”

Ashton smirks and states simply, “Technically it isn’t _your_ bedroom, at the moment. Besides, bathroom’s closer.”

Oh, right. Luke had forgotten about that little fact.

“Good thinking,” he says, and resumes the heated kissing that he can never actually get enough of.

Feeling confident, Luke suddenly reaches around Ashton and lifts him up a little, then sets him down onto the counter next to the bathroom sink. It takes Ashton by surprise and he giggles a bit, wrapping his legs around Luke’s waist once the younger boy is settled between them.

“Is… is lifting me up onto counters gonna be a thing from now on?” Ashton asks, still slightly out of breath.

Luke shrugs. “Maybe.”

He likes being able to pick Ashton up. Probably a little too much, but he still likes it. It makes him feel strong, makes him feel like he can take care of Ashton like Ashton takes care of him. That most likely doesn’t make any sense, but it’s the best explanation that Luke can give himself at the moment. Right now, he’d much rather be kissing than thinking. Perhaps they can even continue that thing that they had going on earlier today, right before Ashton had injured himself with the oven.

So, Luke slowly slides a hand up the inside of Ashton’s shirt, gently kneading his lower back and making Ashton sigh with delight. Aside from his nipples, Ashton really likes stimulation along his lower back, inner thighs, and a particular area on his neck that’s right below his ear. That’s basically the only spot on Ashton’s neck that elicits a moan instead of a giggle because it tickles. Just as Luke is about to kiss his way over to that spot, Ashton begins to giggle, anyway.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, a smile spreading on his face because Ashton is smiling and well, that makes Luke smile, too.

Ashton manages to stop giggling for a moment to respond. “I have a theory,” he says.

Luke tilts his head to the side, amused. “Yeah? Tell me a theory.”

It looks as if Ashton will start to giggle again, but he manages to contain himself and leans forward to whisper into Luke’s ear.

“You’re actually an angel.”

When he pulls back, he starts to giggle again and, yeah, he’s probably consumed even more alcohol than Luke has. That’s not important, though, because now Luke is wondering what he means by that bizarre statement.

“What?” is all Luke says in reply, and he chuckles because it’s probably just drunken nonsense.

Ashton goes on to explain, anyway. “Y’know, an angel. From heaven and stuff? Or whatever, I don’t know, I just know that you’re an angel.”

Ashton leans forward to kiss him again, but only gets a few pecks in before Luke pulls away and begins speaking once more.

“How am I an angel?” he asks, still very curious about what Ashton had meant.

Ashton hums for a moment, fingers idly playing with the hairs at the back of Luke’s neck and he seems to be thinking of what he wants to say. Luke patiently waits for him to gather his scrambled thoughts, even though he considers just saying ‘nevermind’ because he still really wants to kiss Ashton some more.

“Because you’re just… you’re just so _good_ ,” Ashton finally answers. “Like, okay, so there are good people out there, right? There are good people, and then there’s you. You’re good in a different sort of way, I think, because you don’t… you don’t do good because you figure you’re supposed to or you want something out of it? You do good because you _want_ to do good, and I think that’s rare.”

As expected, Luke has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about or what any of that means. But, he feels like it’s definitely an exaggeration.

“I don’t… think that I’ve ever done anything _that_ good, Ashton,” he mutters.

“You saved my life, Luke.”

Surprised by that statement, Luke remains silent and simply gazes into those hazel eyes that stare back into his own. As far as he knows, Ashton is the one that saved _his_ life, not the other way around. He can’t recall saving Ashton from anything, as a matter of fact, so it’s strange that he would say that.

Just as he’s about to inquire as to why Ashton would think such a thing, Ashton already begins to explain further.

“Before you came here, I was just sort of… I don’t know, living? I was living and breathing but I didn’t feel _alive_ ,” Ashton confesses, his eyes never leaving Luke’s. “Like… everyday was the same. I was a lifeguard, I went out and got drunk with the other lifeguards every now and then, and I did whatever else I could to pass the time and pretend that I was happy when I wasn’t.”

Ashton takes a moment to pause and think some more, and then he smiles, bright and beautiful.

“But, then you came along… you and Michael and Calum. We became best friends, the four of us. Like, _real_ friends. We could hang out and have fun and talk about stupid shit, but also other things that I wasn’t able to talk about before because I didn’t have anyone—or, maybe I never let myself have anyone? Yeah, but you helped me realize that life isn’t over and it’s never too late to change things. I feel… I feel alive whenever I’m with you, Luke, and… you saved me. Like some sort of angel.”

This time when Ashton pauses, he giggles softly and rests his forehead against Luke’s, taking a moment to just breathe in the younger boy’s scent; and time suddenly feels as if it’s standing still.

“You’re my angel, Luke,” he whispers before connecting their lips in a soft kiss.

It happens in this very moment. This moment when they’re kissing each other in the bathroom of the beach house, the sounds of the birthday party just barely muffled by the wooden door. The music is still playing and people are still absorbed in lively conversations, yet time stands completely still.

It happens in this moment, between white walls and underneath the bright fluorescent light bulbs that nearly give him a headache. This moment, when the lips pressed against his own taste of alcohol and icing and _Ashton_ —it’s in this moment that Luke realizes.

He’s in love with Ashton Irwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this update was basically the second to last chapter. Next chapter is the finale, and then I have two epilogues planned. The first epilogue is guaranteed, but I haven't planned the second epilogue yet so we'll see! Hope you've enjoyed this story so far, and I'm grateful to everyone that has left feedback and kudos. You all rock. ♥


	12. Lighthouse in a Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems that we've reached the end! Well, kind of. 
> 
> Anyway, this is the longest piece of fiction that I've ever written, and I'm exceptionally happy to have been able to share it with you all. Thank you to everyone that has stuck by my side since the beginning, and thank you for giving this story a chance. It means a whole lot, honestly, and your enthusiasm pushed me to finish this. I'd like to thank [Vanessa](http://whereshiphappens.tumblr.com) again for getting me started on this journey, since I never would have written this if she hadn't encouraged me to scribble down my thoughts. Also, I meant to give credit to the lovely [Helen](http://irwinsvibes.tumblr.com) for giving me a particular idea for the previous chapter, but I forgot to because I am lame. 
> 
> Finally, some tumblr mutuals who raided my askbox to give me wonderful feedback: [Georgie](http://baracliffords.tumblr.com), [Sofi](http://englishlovaffair.tumblr.com), [Vea](http://lucasfletcher.tumblr.com), [Carrie](http://loukey.tumblr.com/), [Elena](http://lusciousirwin.tumblr.com), [Allison](http://ashtonismydad.tumblr.com), as well as many more of you! I really appreciate it. And to those who took the time to leave comments along the way, I thank you very much. You rock. All of you rock. So, I'll stop blabbering now, and I hope that you enjoy this final chapter!

* * *

 

Luke is a little frightened.

No, scratch that.

Luke is _terrified_.

He’s been cooped up in his bedroom for the majority of the day, and he’s probably listened to _I Miss You_ by Blink-182 at least a hundred times in the past two days alone. He can’t recall the exact number, but he plays it on repeat and refuses to acknowledge the fact that they haven’t even left yet, so it’s a little too early for angsty love songs.

But, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because tomorrow they actually _will_ leave Byron Bay for good. They’re going to leave this place and he really fucking misses Ashton already.

Because, well, he’s in love with Ashton. He really is.

Luke is so goddamn in love with Ashton that it terrifies him. After being hit in the face with that realization during Calum’s birthday party the previous week, he’d spent the following days simultaneously freaking the fuck out and being in denial about the whole thing. He denied it at first because he’s never been in love before, obviously—so there’s always the possibility that maybe it _isn’t_ love that he’s experiencing. Perhaps his crush on Ashton has just become a _hardcore_ crush, because that definitely makes much more sense than being in love!

However, as each day slowly dragged on and time began to run out, he came to three conclusions: one, he’s a dumbass. Two, he’s a dumbass that has fallen in love with a guy that he obviously can’t be with. And three, Ashton Irwin is probably the best _and_ the worst thing that has ever happened to him in his entire life, and the prospect of leaving Ashton behind is a reality that Luke can’t even begin to fathom. Like, he just refuses to accept that. Refusing it doesn’t change what’s bound to happen, though, and that’s why he’s in so much pain at the moment.

Luke wants to scream. He wants to scream and he wants to cry. He wants to scream, cry, laugh, jump, curl up into nothing, punch something, kiss someone—kiss _Ashton_. In truth, kissing Ashton is all that he ever wants to do. Kissing Ashton, touching Ashton, holding Ashton, and just _being_ with Ashton is something that he’s become so accustomed to, it’s an absolute crime that it has to end soon.

‘Soon’ meaning tomorrow. Luke has to repeatedly remind himself that in less than twenty-four hours, Ashton will no longer be a part of his little world.

As a matter of fact, last night he had reminded himself of that little detail and it gave him the reckless courage to just _say it_. He was literally going to tell Ashton that he loved him, not caring what would happen afterwards. He just needed to say it as soon as possible so that the pain inside of his chest would go away.

They were lying together in Luke’s bed at the time, and even though he was tired, Luke was wide awake. He could tell that Ashton was awake as well, since they’ve shared a bed so many times and it became natural to be able to notice when the guy was asleep or not.

It was the same for Ashton.

“Can’t sleep?” Ashton had asked, his low voice temporarily breaking the silence of the room but still taking a moment to reach Luke’s ear.

“Just thinking,” Luke murmured in response, a rather _late_ response. Neither of them commented on it.

Ashton only hummed and the silence had returned to them for a little while longer, but they both recognized the looming tension above them. At least, Luke assumes that Ashton noticed the tension because he stayed awake and his arm that was draped over Luke’s waist tightened a little.

That’s when Luke had made the decision to confess his love once and for all. And, the only thing that willed his body to turnover and face Ashton was the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Then, Ashton was looking at him expectedly and Luke was staring back into those heavenly eyes that always managed to take his breath away, and time froze all over again.

“…Ashton?”

“Yeah?”

“I…”

Luke’s throat suddenly closed up.

 _Tell him that you love him_ , he screamed to himself.

_Tell him that you love him so much it fucking hurts. Tell him how much he means to you, how you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else in the same way. Tell him how amazing he is. Tell him that you don’t want to leave him and how much you really need him. Tell him that you **want** him, and only him._

But of course, Luke hadn’t said any of that.

“We should… make those pancakes tomorrow morning, like we’ve been saying that we would,” he blurted out instead. “We have syrup now, so we can do it… I know that Mikey and Cal would want some, too.”

Luke really, _really_ hates himself.

“Sure, we can do that,” Ashton had answered with a small smile. “That’s a great idea, Luke.”

And that was that. Ashton fell asleep not long afterwards, and Luke pretended that the burning sensation behind his eyes was caused by anything else but the fact that he really wanted to cry out.

What’s even worse is that Ashton had expressed his own opinion on love, once. _‘Love is pointless’_ , he’d said. And Luke sticks to his belief that Ashton is wrong, wrong, _wrong_. After all, how can love be pointless when what he feels for Ashton is literally indescribable, yet exciting and terrifying at the same time and makes him feel a plethora of emotions?

If love is pointless, why do people seek it to the point of willingly destroying themselves to get it? Isn’t it love, romantic or platonic, that drives people to support one another through thick and thin? If Ashton believes that love is pointless, does that mean he could never love Luke in return?

Luke doesn’t want to think about that. He _can’t_ think about that because it makes him physically ill to imagine such a scenario. So, he doesn’t.

Now, lying on his bed and listening to the same song on repeat is basically all that he can do.

> _Don’t waste your time on me,  
> _ _You’re already the voice inside my head.  
> _ _I miss you…_

Luke is startled when he feels a hand gently shaking his shoulder, but when his eyes snap open and he glances up, he finds that it’s only Calum. The music playing through his earphones must’ve been louder than he thought, so he hadn’t heard his friend come into the room. With a sigh, he pauses the music and removes the earbuds from his ears.

“What?”

Calum looks taken aback. “Well, nevermind if you’re just going to snap at me.”

“I didn’t snap at you,” Luke says, but he supposes that he hadn’t sounded so thrilled, either. So, he sighs and tries again. “What is it?”

Satisfied with the change of tone, Calum answers, “You should stop lying in here alone and come out into the living room where we are.”

Luke groans and shakes his head. “But I already did my part in cleaning up and packing the major things…”

“That’s not it,” Calum says, and he grins like an excited puppy. “We found something kind of cool, so come and look.”

From the look on his friend’s face, Luke can tell that he isn’t going to be left alone to continue wallowing in self-pity, so he may as well get up and see whatever the hell Calum is talking about.

When they walk into the living room, Michael is sitting on the floor with something furry in his hands. It immediately alarms Luke because he knows that his friends are definitely weird enough to find a random rodent and take it in, but when Michael waves it in the air, it’s clear that the thing isn’t real. Luke lets out a sigh of relief for that.

“Look what Cal and I found under the couch!” Michael shouts, as if the other two boys weren’t three feet away from him.

Calum plops down next to him and takes the miniature stuffed animal from his hands. “It’s a lion, isn’t he the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen?”

“We’ve named him Daniel,” Michael quickly adds.

Right now, both of them are grinning up at Luke and Luke has to fight down the urge to take the stuffed lion and toss it into the ocean.

“You dragged me in here to show me an old, dusty, raggedy stuffed lion…?” he asks incredulously.

Michael gasps dramatically and covers Daniel’s ears. “Don’t talk about Daniel like that! He’s done nothing to you at all, asshole.”

“Right, well, I’m going back to my room,” Luke announces.

Unfortunately for him, Calum grabs his hand and pulls him down to the floor before he manages to make his escape.

“We found more things, too!” he says. “Like… this strange looking paperclip and a really old envelope, maybe even a few decades old. Cool, yeah?”

Said items were on the floor in front of them, but Luke wouldn’t say that they’re ‘kind of cool’. If anything, it’s just a bunch of junk that had been abandoned underneath the couch for a long time by whoever stayed there last. He isn’t interested in finding out why or how, and it’s obvious now that Calum had lied because they probably just wanted him to come out of his room. Luke is upset, they know it, and now they’re trying to distract him. It’s sweet, but Luke can’t bring himself to cheer up in the slightest.

“I say that they’re clues to something even bigger, but Calum doesn’t think so,” Michael says, picking at some of the dirty spots on Daniel’s fur as he speaks.

Calum snorts. “Because they’re obviously _not_ clues. Why the hell would a stuffed lion be a clue?”

“How should I know? That’s what clues usually are, right? Random shit,” Michael answers with a shrug. “Maybe, like… a sailor and his family used to live here a really, really long time ago. Daniel belonged to their child, and the envelope held a letter that he sent to his wife. See, I just solved your mystery.”

“You literally just made that up,” Calum argues. “Besides, this place was renovated not too long ago so none of this can be _that_ old.”

Michael stubbornly shakes his head. “But you said it yourself, the envelope is ancient! And you don’t know how long ago the renovation took place, so your argument is invalid. Who knows, maybe they died in some tragic accident… these items are all what’s left of them, and now they haunt the beach house.”

Although Luke doesn’t care for this stupid conversation, even he has to admit that the sudden terrified expression on Calum’s face is priceless.

“Shut up, there aren’t any ghosts here!” Calum shouts.

“Relax, I was only teasing you,” Michael says with a smirk. “I mean, if there _were_ ghosts… you would’ve sensed one by now. We’ve been here for two months, yeah? But, they could just be shy—or waiting to slaughter us at the last moment.”

“…Fuck you, Clifford,” Calum huffs. “Just for that, I’m sleeping in your bed tonight and you can’t stop me.”

Michael shrugs again. “I don’t care, as long as you promise not to pee yourself if you hear strange noises coming from the hallway.”

Calum lets out a long sigh and slouches until he’s lying flat on the floor. “Can’t make any promises.”

Because they figured why not, the other two boys join him so that they’re all staring at the ceiling in complete silence. Luke is suddenly reminded of the first day that they had arrived in Byron Bay, and despite his mood, it puts a little smile on his face. They had lied down on the floor just like this, three overexcited teenagers that couldn’t wait to do all sorts of crazy shit. They hadn’t actually done anything crazy at all, but they still had tons of fun and met a few really cool people.

It hurts to have to leave it all behind. It hurts more than Luke ever thought that it would.

“I can’t believe that it’s really been two months,” Michael mutters. “Like, tomorrow is literally the first day of February. Can you guys believe that? Summer is almost over already.”

Calum hums in agreement. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been two months, either. Feels more like seconds, really… just a few seconds of summer.”

“Yeah…” Michael says, and he chuckles a little. “Five seconds of summer.”

Luke would agree with that statement, but at the same time it almost feels as if they’ve been living in the beach house for _years_. They’ve done so many things in this short span of time and he doesn’t regret any of it, not even the days where they lazed in and around the beach house. It was fun because Ashton was there, and Ashton makes everything fun.

The nostalgia that he feels is basically ruined when Michael speaks up once more.

“Can’t believe I only got laid _once_ ,” he grumbles.

Calum does the same. “Can’t believe I only got laid once, too… well, more like one and a half… okay, twice. Two times tops.”

“I won’t even ask what that means,” Michael chuckles, and then he immediately follows it up with, “Shut up, Luke.”

“I… wasn’t going to say anything?” Luke replies.

“Fuck. I can’t believe _Luke_ got more action than both of us combined,” Calum whines, but he sounds more impressed than jealous. “I mean, he didn’t even _want_ to hook up with anyone at first! This is, like, the most ironic thing I’ve ever experienced.”

“We’ll just have to step up our game in university, and team up if we have to,” Michael says.

“You mean like threesomes?”

“Mmm… only if you cuddle me afterwards.”

“Deal,” Calum immediately replies, and they both laugh.

Luke simply rolls his eyes because he doesn’t want to be apart of some competition to see who can have the most sex, but even though he knows that they’re mostly joking, he can’t bring himself to care.

At the moment, he just really wishes that Ashton was here. It’s their last day to be together and he would prefer to spend every single second of it with Ashton by his side, but Ashton had lifeguard duty. He shouldn’t have to neglect his job for Luke’s sake, especially when he’s already done it once before. After all, it’s not as if they’re legitimately dating or anything, no matter how much Luke wishes that were so.

Actually, Luke doesn’t want to just _date_ Ashton. He wants to be Ashton’s boyfriend. He wants to belong to Ashton and he wants Ashton to belong to him. He really wants that so fucking much, but it won’t happen and wishing that it would won’t change a single thing. Just thinking about that almost makes him want to cry.

For now, the only thing that gives him a bit of comfort is that Ashton had promised to take him out later tonight. He also claimed to have some sort of surprise for Luke, but whatever it is, Luke doesn’t think that anything will satisfy him as much as the ability to stop time.

“We should take a selfie like this,” Calum announces out of nowhere, “to make a memory or whatever, and then put it up on the wall of our new apartment.” He quickly stands up before the other two can even reply. “Luke, I’m borrowing your camera.”

Calum doesn’t wait for Luke’s consent and hurriedly leaves the room, making his way down the hall.

“Looks like Ashton rubbed off on him a little too much,” Michael says, grinning fondly.

“…I don’t want to leave.”

Michael pauses upon hearing the words that Luke suddenly whispered, but then he lets out a small sigh and nods.

“Well, neither do I. But hey, that’s the way it is and we gotta go sometime—”

“I really don’t want to leave,” Luke repeats a little louder. He sits up from the floor and leans his back against the couch, knees pulled to his chest and a distressed look on his face.

Of course Michael joins him without a moment’s hesitation.

“Alright. Talk to me,” he says, because he knew that Luke wanted to talk all along—he was simply waiting for the moment that Luke was ready to.

During times like these, they both had different methods of getting each other to open up. Luke usually has to prod and prod until Michael finally tells him what’s wrong, while on the other hand, all Michael has to do is demand to know and Luke will spill his guts in a heartbeat. It works every time.

Luke lets out a shaky breath. “It’s just… this place, y’know? It’s fun here, I like being here and I like how I can just forget about everything else because it always feels… timeless? Until recently, when I remembered that time _doesn’t_ stop no matter where the fuck I am, so of course I have to leave… no matter how much I don’t want to, I have to leave this place.”

 _I have to leave Ashton_ , is what he’s really saying, because without Ashton he couldn’t give less of a fuck about Byron Bay. He knows that and so does Michael. So, neither of them have to say it aloud.

“Everything is so much better here,” Luke goes on.

 _Ashton makes everything so much better_.

“I feel so happy, every morning that I wake up.”

_Waking up next to Ashton makes me happy._

“I know that we have to leave, but I just… I don’t think I ever want to leave this place, Michael.”

 _I don’t ever want to leave Ashton_.

Michael doesn’t say anything while he speaks and Luke is glad for that, because there’s so much that he wants to say but everything is jumbled up in his exhausted mind, so he fears that he might forget it all if he’s interrupted.

But, on the other hand, he feels like he shouldn’t be saying any of this at all. Not to Michael. It was Michael that warned him about this in the first place, so what right does Luke have to complain?

Michael warned him and Luke snapped instead of listening, so this is probably what he deserves. Michael certainly has every right to just say ‘I told you so’ and walk away, refusing to listen to the idiot that didn’t heed his words, even if it was too late by then.

However, Luke knows that Michael won’t actually do that. Michael would never do such a thing because he’s a good friend, unlike Luke.

“Do you remember…” Luke has to pause and swallow when he feels the knot in his throat. “Do you remember the day that we went to the spa? During the first week here, just the three of us?”

Michael nods and says quietly, “Yeah, I remember…”

“We tried… me and Cal tried to lock you in the sauna and your skin was so red when you finally got out,” Luke murmurs, and he chuckles but it doesn’t sound cheerful at all. “That was fun… everything that we’ve done here has been really fun, almost like a dream, in fact—but it’s over now and I know that we’ll have lots of fun at university despite the schoolwork, but like… but no matter what, nothing will ever be the same as it was _here_. Nothing. I know I should feel happy because I had—had the chance to c-come here in the first place, but I… I can’t…”

By now, Luke’s voice has cracked far too many times and his throat feels like it’s closing up on him, disabling him from speaking anymore. He feels incredibly pathetic for being so upset about the inevitable, but it’s hard to pretend that he’s fine when everything just hurts so fucking much and he doesn’t know how to make it stop.

Suddenly there’s an arm around him as Michael pulls him a little closer, so Luke goes with it and leans against the other boy, head resting on his shoulder now. Obviously cuddling isn’t going to make the pain go away, but it does push away the feeling on loneliness within him.

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re welcome to cry on my shoulder,” Michael teases, but only to lighten the mood because he can see that Luke might actually start shedding tears at some point.

“Not gonna cry on your shoulder,” Luke grumbles when he feels like he can speak again. “S’ not punk rock.”

Michael snorts. “See, you’ve still got a sense of humor so it can’t be _that_ bad… everything’s gonna be alright, Luke. You’re gonna be alright, I promise. So just… just take a deep breath, yeah?”

The irrepressible feeling of certain doom in his gut says otherwise. Luke doesn’t believe that _anything_ will be alright at this rate, but he realizes that he’s probably just being overdramatic so he does as Michael tells him to, inhaling and exhaling slowly.

“Does it ever stop hurting?” he asks quietly. He doesn’t need to say what ‘it’ is, because Michael already knows.

“Eventually, yeah... it does.”

“Have _you_ stopped hurting?” he asks next, genuinely curious.

It takes Michael a little longer to respond, but when he does, he sounds certain of himself. “Mostly. I think being surrounded by the people that I care about and who also care about me, has helped a shit ton. I still miss her, yeah, but I’ll survive. I’ve got to, y’know?”

Luke slowly nods, just before he mutters, “I’m sorry I wasn’t really there for you.”

To his surprise, Michael snorts again. “Shut up, you’ve always been there for me. Now I’m here for you, because you’re my best friend and you need me.”

“So I finally found the damn thing and you literally have, like, three films left,” Calum says as he rejoins them at last. Neither of them noticed his approach, and he frowns when he sees the current situation. “Why does it seem like something important happens whenever I leave the room for more than two minutes?”

“Luke isn’t feeling too good right now,” Michael answers, and the look that he gives Calum tells him that it isn’t a joke.

As expected, Calum doesn’t need an explanation. He instantly walks over to them and plops down on the other side of Luke, automatically extending an arm to wrap around his waist in hopes of comforting him.

“Is there anything that you need us to do, Luke?” Calum asks.

Luke shakes his head because he thinks that this is enough for now. Metaphorically speaking, his head is still floating above the surface and although he’s clearly struggling, he doesn’t feel as if he’s drowning. At the moment, he’s trapped in a storm and trying his hardest to survive despite knowing that he most likely won’t, in the end. So remaining upset about this whole thing is definitely pointless.

The three of them sit there for a while longer and Luke is grateful that his friends are always by his side, especially when he needs them to be. They quietly reminisce about all of the weird but fun shit that they’ve done over the past two months, but Luke mostly just listens. He’s content with doing just that because it’s relatively peaceful and he temporarily forgets about his worries. Of course it won’t last forever, but these few minutes are better than nothing.

“Who’s up for ice cream?” Michael suggests all of a sudden. “I’m really in the mood for ice cream.”

Calum nods after taking a second to consider it. “I guess I can go for a bit of ice cream, right about now… what about you, Luke?”

“Okay,” Luke answers, and he quickly adds, “We could eat it on the beach.”

Anything is better than sulking around the beach house for the rest of the afternoon.

“Great!” Michael shouts excitedly. “It’s settled, then. Calum, get your wallet.”

“ _My_ wallet?” Calum exclaims. “But I paid the last time!”

Michael shrugs. “So? It’s just ice cream, not a brand new car.”

“Then why don’t _you_ pay for it, then?”

“Because when the ghosts come for you tonight, I’ll be the only one to stop them. The least you can do is reward me, first.”

“Stop that! The ghosts aren’t real!”

At the moment, Luke kind of wishes that his annoying friends _weren’t_ by his side. Before an unnecessary argument can break out between the old married couple, Luke volunteers to be the one to treat them to ice cream. Everything is perfectly fine after that and they leave the beach house in no time flat, merrily making their way down to the ice cream shop. Luke comes to the conclusion that enjoying a frozen treat on the beach one last time with his best friends, is more than just a distraction.

It’s a necessity and he’s able to feel happiness in that little space of time.

***

Luke is a little more nervous than he probably should be.

It’s just after sunset and his room is a dark blue hue as the day slowly comes to an end. It’s still relatively early, however, and the entire duration of this night will be spent with Ashton. So, he’s pretty excited about that and no amount of sadness can tone down that feeling.

But, he’s still nervous because Ashton will arrive any minute now and then they’ll begin their ‘date’.

It’s kind of an ironic date since obviously they’re just friends and nothing can come of this, nothing can _possibly_ come of this, and Luke knows that. Ashton knows that, too. It’s almost like an unspoken agreement that they established the night that Ashton had kissed him for the first time. Only a month has passed since then, yet it feels like so much longer. As painful as it is, Luke will never forget that night. And how could he? Ashton has basically been seared into his soul by the fires of love.

That’s so fucking cheesy. Luke needs to stop thinking for a while.

“I don’t have anything to wear,” he groans, dropping his arms down to his sides in defeat. “Fuck it, I can’t go. Tell Ashton that I’m sorry for ruining everything.”

Right now, Luke really hates himself for not packing anything other than band t-shirts, flannels, and a few shirts from Drop Dead that he spent his entire savings on at one point. But, at the same time, how was he supposed to know that he would end up doing more than lazing on the beach or strolling around town? Not once did he anticipate fall in love with the most amazing person on the planet, and _then_ be taken on a date by said person. He hadn’t expected that at all.

“Don’t be such a diva,” Calum says. He’s currently spectating from his comfortable position on Luke’s bed and not being helpful at all.

Ever since that minor panicky moment that Luke had had earlier in the day, Michael and Calum haven’t left his side since. Luke doesn’t mind it too much, but the least that his friend can do is be a little more sympathetic. Instead Calum sits there and comments on everything like a fucking sports commentator or something, watching as Luke changes his shirt for the eightieth time.

“Don’t talk unless you’re going to say something useful,” Luke replies while examining another shirt. It isn’t what he’s looking for so he tosses it into the pile of shirts on the floor.

“Alright, you want a tip? I’ll give you a tip.” Calum stands up and steps forward so that they’re face to face. He then rests both of his hands on Luke’s broad shoulders and gives him a little shake. “Stop stressing yourself out so much, you _know_ that Ashton won’t care about what you’re wearing. He’ll be too busy giggling from happiness because he’s a total dork, just like you. So, you’re raising your blood pressure for nothing.”

That’s probably true. Okay, it’s definitely true and Luke knows that, but his stupid mind prefers to make a big deal out of _everything_. That’s basically all that it takes to be Luke Hemmings: the ability to stress out over anything and everything, as well as the talent of embarrassing oneself.

“So unhelpful,” he mumbles, but when he sees the reassuring way that Calum smiles at him, it makes him want to smile, too. “What should I wear?”

“A smile,” Calum answers. Luke immediately frowns. “Okay, okay… how about one of your star t-shirts? Did you bring one? I like those, you look really good in stars.”

So Calum helps him find a shirt with stars on it and Luke supposes that it doesn’t look that bad. He loves stars and he doesn’t care what wearing them makes him seem like to other people. Stars are kickass and anyone who says otherwise must be an alien. An alien without good taste.

Eventually, the door opens and Michael pokes his head in before sliding in the rest of his body like some sort of eel.

“Ashton’s here,” he announces.

The anxious feeling within Luke’s stomach amplifies until he thinks he might get sick.

“Perfect timing,” Calum says. “Luke’s ready now.”

“No!” Luke protests. “I mean, I’m not ready yet… my hair—I haven’t looked at it in at least two hours, I think. I should go and… do that.”

From the looks on his friends’ faces, he can tell that that’s not going to happen.

“Is he seriously still nervous?” Michael asks.

“Yup,” Calum answers.

Michael sighs and it looks like he’s trying really hard to be patient. “Your hair looks fine, Luke. Just…” He reaches out and ruffles it up a bit, making the other boy whine. “There ya go! All better. Now take your ass into the living room, your date’s waiting for you.”

“Luke’s date… I can’t believe our baby has a _date_.” Calum pauses, sniffling dramatically—and it’s stupid because Luke is sure that he’s been on more dates than Calum has. Absolutely sure of it. “Should I get the camera again? This is a moment of a lifetime.”

“Are you being serious right now?” Luke grumbles, annoyed. “I’m going to dinner, not a school dance for fuck’s sake.”

“So there’s really no reason to be nervous, right?” Michael says, and Luke hates that he definitely has a point. “Onward!”

Before Luke can protest any further, Michael tugs him out of the room and down the hallway, Calum following right behind. There’s no escaping it now and he doesn’t think that he wants to anymore, especially not once he sees Ashton patiently waiting by the front door.

Ashton looks… _really good_ , not that there’s any surprise there. He always looks perfect and Luke loves that about him. Tonight, however, he’s wearing a midnight blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up a bit, making his forearms visible. The worst part is that the first couple of buttons on his shirt are undone, showcasing his collarbones and Luke has to swallow down the urge to lean closer and lick them. Lastly, he’s wearing those lovely denim jeans that squeeze his thighs so perfectly—and yeah, his usual black skinnies does the same thing, but there’s something about the denim pair that Luke loves even more.

Overall, Ashton’s attire is casual yet somehow still manages to fuck with Luke’s mind, because he’s just so goddamn sexy that it’s _unfair_. It is completely unfair and Luke cannot believe that he ended up so lucky.

It takes longer than necessary for Luke to realize that he had been staring with his mouth wide open the entire time.

“Hey, uh, you… you look good?” he blurts out, mentally cursing himself for sounding so stupid. “Yeah, very good. You’ve never worn that shirt before… I like it.”

Ashton grins brighter than he usually does. “Of course I’ve worn this shirt before. I own it, after all. But, thanks. You look hot, too.”

Luke manages not to roll his eyes. “I meant that _I’ve_ never seen you in that shirt—oh, nevermind… and thank you.”

As Luke gazes into the gorgeous eyes before him, he notices that the overwhelming nervousness has slipped away a little. As of now, he’s mostly excited and he has a feeling that Ashton is excited, too. It’s always easy to tell when Ashton is excited about something because he gets a bit fidgety, never quite able to stand completely still. There’s something undeniably adorable about it and wow, Luke is _so_ in love.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Michael speaks up, ending the little staring contest that they had going on. “You’ll have plenty of time to do that at dinner, now get outta here while you’re still young.”

“Okay, okay, we’re going,” Ashton says, giggling at Michael’s impatience.

He opens the front door behind them and lets Luke exit first, since he’s a gentleman and all. Luke thinks it’s a little silly, but at the same time he really likes it because it means that Ashton cares a lot and wants him to feel special. He’ll have to think of a way to make Ashton feel special, too.

“We expect him home by ten,” Michael teases as they walk onto the front porch.

Calum is right beside him when he says, “Actually, keep him as long as you’d like. I’m sure Luke would love that, wouldn’t you, Luke?”

The obnoxious wink that Calum gives him makes Luke want to kick him in the shin, but at the same time he’s glad that his friends approve of him and Ashton so much. Maybe that’s weird because they’re not actually together and they _can’t_ be together, but… maybe it isn’t.

Just before the door closes behind them, they hear Michael call out, “Don’t forget to use protection!”

Luke is a hundred and ten percent sure that Calum and Michael are much more embarrassing than his actual parents.

“…I really do hate them sometimes,” he groans.

Ashton laughs a little. “Can’t live without them, though.”

As much as they annoy him, Luke has to admit that that statement is very true so there’s no use in denying it.

“So, uh… ya ever been on a date before?” Ashton asks.

“Just a few times, yeah,” Luke answers with a nod.

Ashton hums and looks away again, but Luke doesn’t miss the slight disappointment that flashes across his face.

 _Interesting_.

“You didn’t think that you’d be my first _everything_ , did you?” Luke teases, but it’s a legitimate question and he can see that Ashton definitely hoped for such a thing.

Ashton gives a nonchalant shrug but the smirk on his face reveals all. “A guy can dream, can’t he?”

Luke can’t really tell if the fluttering in his stomach is caused by flattery, hunger, or both. Yeah, it’s probably both.

“Well, just so you know, this is the first time that anyone’s ever taken _me_ out before,” Luke admits. “It’s usually the other way around.”

Admitting that little detail apparently ignites a new feeling of confidence within Ashton, because he smiles just as bright as before and nods once.

“Let’s make the best of it, then,” he says.

Suddenly, Luke finds a warm hand clasped within his own and it amazes him to feel how perfectly they fit together. He’ll never completely get over the size differences or the warmth radiating from Ashton’s calloused palm, and he will never stop loving those long fingers that touch him so gently.

He doesn’t think that he’ll ever stop loving Ashton, either.

“Shall we?” Ashton says, and Luke nods because they really should get a move on. They haven’t put much distance between them and the beach house and he has no idea where they’re going, but Ashton will lead him so that’s fine.

Just because he can, Luke interlocks their fingers and replies with a cheesy grin, “We shall.”

***

Ashton takes him to a fancy restaurant right by the sea. They’re seated outside on the balcony and it’s an even better view than the one from Luke’s bedroom window. The ocean is vast and looks as if it stretches on forever, and the moonlight reflecting off the surface gives it a fairytale effect. Luke knows that this place has to be rather expensive, because aside from the gorgeous view, there’s a candle in the center of every table. Only fancy places put actual candles on their tables, right? Plus, there are waiters in weird outfits that walk around and pour wine for people. Way too fancy.

Either way, it’s such a cliché location for a date. Yeah, it’s totally cliché, overly romantic, and Luke loves every single bit of it. It almost makes him feel lightheaded to know that Ashton is doing this for him, even though they’re technically not together. Neither of them are considered ‘wealthy’, either, so the fact that Ashton is paying for all of this is a bit overwhelming for Luke.

He thinks that he would have gotten used to the feeling by now, especially since he’s _in love_ with Ashton and just thinking about it makes him feel all sorts of crazy emotions; but alas, it still hits him right in the chest. Luke doesn’t even remember what dish he had ordered, but he hopes that it’s something a bit on the lighter side, just in case his nervous stomach decides to betray him.

“Are you alright?” Ashton asks, startling him out of his daze.

Luke quickly nods and puts on a smile so that he doesn’t worry Ashton. After the amount of time that they’ve spent together, Ashton is able to read him like a book and Luke finds it hard to pretend when those eyes are staring at him. The best course of action would probably be to start up some sort of conversation, instead of sitting there in awkward silence.

“Um, this place is really nice,” he says after clearing his throat. “Is it one of your favorites?”

“I don’t know yet, I’m never actually eaten here before,” Ashton answers.

“…Then how do you know if the food is good or not?” Luke questions, and really, he probably should have seen this coming.

Ashton hums and there’s a guilty smile playing at his lips. “I guess I don’t?”

Luke can’t help but chuckle a little as he shakes his head. He’s sure that the food won’t be bad, especially considering how fancy the place is. But Ashton’s words aren’t that reassuring, to be honest.

“I promise that you won’t be disappointed, though,” Ashton goes on, and he legitimately sounds a little nervous. “I mean, a few people have told me that the food here is really delicious, so… so you’ll just have to trust me.”

“Okay,” Luke answers with ease. “I trust you.”

He can see how those three words instantly give Ashton a confidence boost, and it’s rather silly because he thinks that Ashton would have figured it out by now. No matter what the situation, Luke will trust Ashton to the fullest because not once has Ashton let him down. He doesn’t know if putting such an amount of trust into another person is foolish or not, but it’s hard to care when he’s blinded by the love and adoration that he feels whenever he looks at Ashton.

Maybe this is the side of love that everyone always talk about, the side that makes you forget all logic and anything else that gets in the way of the pure blissfulness. Luke still doesn’t understand it, but he wonders if it’s good or bad to feel like this. He feels as if everything is Ashton, everything will always be Ashton, and that’s fine with him. But, he also wonders if that would be considered unhealthy? Perhaps this feeling is normal when you first fall in love with someone, and once you’ve come down from that high, only then will you be able to see clearly again.

Luke hopes that that’s the case, because he wants to love Ashton in a ‘normal’ way, not this overwhelming rush that leaves him lightheaded all the time. Sadly enough, he knows that he doesn’t have much time to figure this whole thing out.

“Luke?”

Ashton is staring at him again, not that that’s unusual, but he seems a little worried. Luke supposes that he must have been daydreaming for too long again. He’ll have to work on that habit.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

Ashton still looks a bit worried, but he smiles and it fills Luke with relief. “I was asking if you were excited for your surprise, after this.”

“Oh… yeah, yeah of course I am,” Luke says, and he can’t believe that he’d nearly forgotten about that. “Really excited. What is it, anyway?”

“If I told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise!” Ashton giggles.

Luke rolls his eyes before he can help it. “That only makes me even more curious, though. Why bring it up if you’re not gonna tell me?”

Ashton just shrugs. “Well, you’re welcome to guess, if you’d like.”

“And if I guess correctly, would you tell me?”

“Of course not.”

Then what would be the point in guessing at all? Luke would like to ask that very question because he doesn’t understand the logic in that, but the way that Ashton is grinning at him makes him want to go along with this little game, anyway.

“Alright,” Luke mumbles, and he takes a moment to think. “Is it... is it a place or a thing?”

“A place,” Ashton answers, and Luke hadn’t expected him to give away such a hint at all.

“Okay… are we going to the nightclub again?”

“Nope. We’ve already been there, silly.”

“So it’s somewhere that I haven’t been?”

Ashton nods, but Luke still doesn’t have a single clue so he gives up and says jokingly, “Oh boy, I hope it’s Disneyland.”

Ashton seems to find that amusing, because he laughs with that same laugh that Luke fell in love with. In truth, Luke loves all the different types of laughs that Ashton has, and he probably wouldn’t be able to choose a favorite one even if he tried. Each laugh is equally beautiful in its own way, whether it’s a soft giggle or a loud cackle, and the fact that Luke is even thinking about this really tells how deep he’s in.

He is _deeply_ in love with Ashton.

“No, sorry,” Ashton says, still laughing a little. “We’re not going to Disneyland. Maybe we will next time, though.”

_‘Next time’._

There won’t be a next time, though. Luke’s heart breaks a little more every time he’s reminded of that. The reality is that this is their last night together, possibly forever, so there’s no such thing as a ‘next time’, a ‘soon’, or a ‘someday’. It’s stupid to even joke about that, since it’s no joke that Luke _really_ wants to be with Ashton.

If that isn’t bad enough, he just now realizes that he still doesn’t know if Ashton feels the same way. Sometimes he’s sure of it, absolutely sure that Ashton also wishes they could have something more, but an assumption is not a fact. It’s entirely possible that Ashton isn’t even hurting that much—or _at all_ from the knowledge that Luke will be leaving tomorrow.

These frightening thoughts aren’t welcome, not in the slightest. Luke doesn’t think that he’s ever been more relieved when their dinner finally arrives, because he doesn’t want to consider the possibility that Ashton won’t miss him as much as he’ll miss Ashton. He doesn’t want to imagine that his love is unrequited.

Instead of thinking about all of that, he decides to simply enjoy the moment. He’ll enjoy this moment where he can pretend that Ashton loves him just as much, even if that’s not actually the case. They only have a few hours left together, after all, and he refuses to spend another second feeling sorry for himself.

When his plate is in front of him, Luke stares at it in bewilderment. Now he remembers what it is that he had ordered and he wonders what possessed him to pick out such a thing. He’s poking it with a fork when Ashton speaks up.

“I’m guessing you’ve never had calamari before?” he asks—or states, since it’s obviously true.

Luke shakes his head, anyway. “Never.”

“Yet you ordered calamari pasta,” Ashton says, and it’s obvious from his tone and cheeky grin that he’s making fun of Luke now.

“Um… sometimes it’s good to take risks, I think,” Luke says a moment later.

He isn’t really talking about the dish anymore. Ever since meeting Ashton, he’s taken so many risks that he knows he probably wouldn’t have taken otherwise. He can no longer count the number of times that he’s whispered ‘fuck it’ to himself in regards to making a decision that had something to do with Ashton. He doesn’t regret a single one of them, either—not even the one that nearly cost him his life, that day on Whites Beach. Every decision that he made somehow led him to getting to know Ashton more and more and, ultimately, falling in love with him.

Although it hurts like hell, he doesn’t regret that, either.

“Well, if it turns out that you don’t like it, you can have some of my food or order something else,” Ashton offers.

Luke remembers that he still hasn’t taken a single bite yet, so he twirls some of the pasta and calamari around his fork before bringing it up to his mouth to eat it. He murmurs those same two words to himself prior to the food meeting his tongue.

It takes a few seconds of slow chewing for him to realize that he isn’t going to die from disgust, and that calamari pasta is actually pretty good.

Luke says that he likes it and Ashton looks relieved for that, then a moment later he’s offering to let Luke try some of his own pasta, anyway. Ashton’s dish has chicken and broccoli mixed in some sort of creamy white sauce, but it looks really delicious so Luke accepts the offer. It’s pretty much automatic when Ashton holds the forkful of food out to him and Luke eats from it, because he’s used to Ashton’s fixation of feeding him.

“Try some of mine,” Luke says afterwards, because he realizes that he’s hardly ever fed Ashton while Ashton has fed him numerous times, and this could possibly be his last chance to do so.

“It’s alright,” Ashton says, trying to decline but Luke is already holding his fork out. He shakes his head but Luke doesn’t give in because Ashton always does this. He’ll get Luke to do something and when Luke tries to get him to do the same, suddenly he’s bashful and refuses to do it. Well, Luke isn’t going to let that happen this time.

“Come on, just a little bit?” he pleads.

Ashton opens his mouth to protest again, but Luke puts on his most dramatic pouting face and hopes that it’ll work for once.

Surprisingly, it does.

“Alright, fine,” Ashton grumbles. He quickly leans forward and eats the food from the fork, but only once he’s sure that no one else had been looking.

Way too adorable.

Luke feels like he’s accomplished something major, and once that bit of pride goes to his head, he figures there’s no reason to hold back any longer. He slides his plate closer to Ashton’s side of the table and then proceeds to scoot his chair over, too.

“What are you doing?” Ashton asks, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“I want to sit next to you,” Luke answers, and why not? He knows that it’s considered ‘proper etiquette’ to sit across from his date, but right now he wants nothing more than to be as closely as possible to Ashton for as long as he can.

“Cut it out, Luke. Stay on your side of the table,” Ashton says, attempting to chastise him for misbehaving. But, once Luke is sitting by his side with an innocent smile on his face, Ashton can’t do much else but accept it with a sigh. “You really are too much…”

“I know,” Luke replies.

Despite the subtle annoyance that he felt a few seconds before, Ashton smiles back at Luke, then leans a bit closer to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. Luke feels much more satisfied with this change in position, and the feeling grows even stronger when Ashton feeds him again.

Perhaps sitting next to each other and sharing pasta is extremely cheesy and reminds Luke of that one scene from _Lady and the Tramp_ , but he can’t bring himself to feel embarrassed when they’re engaged in a quiet conversation and it feels as if they’re the only two people in the world.

In this moment, he pretends that they really are.

***

“Where are we going?” Luke asks for the third time in a row. The only response that he gets from Ashton is a warm smile.

From the very moment that they left the fancy restaurant, Ashton had taken his hand and began to lead him elsewhere. In other words, Luke is about to receive his surprise very soon. He feels incredibly giddy, now that his tummy is filled with pasta and a little bit of wine, and each second that passes by makes him grow even more impatient. He wants to know where they’re going but Ashton won’t answer him, and Luke finds that especially cruel.  

After a few minutes of walking, they eventually come to a little path adjacent to the sea. The trail seems to stretch on for a while and even curves at one point, so Luke can’t really tell where it leads to. However, he does notice the gradual incline as they walk along the small sea cliff now, and the realization of where they’re going finally hits him in the face.

“Are we going to Cape Byron?” he asks, sounding hopeful and excited all at once.

Ashton nods to soothe his curiosity, knowing that Luke wouldn’t stop asking if he doesn’t confirm his suspicions. In all honesty, Luke kind of feels stupid for not figuring it out much sooner because it seems so obvious now. Ashton is taking him to see the lighthouse, just like he said that he would.

“I promised that I’d take you before the summer was up, didn’t I?” Ashton says, smiling even brighter than before.

This time Luke is the one to nod, and he thinks that he might love Ashton even more now. Is that even possible? Whatever, it doesn’t matter because Luke feels as if his love for Ashton has just doubled in size, all because Ashton had remembered their promise. It’s true that that particular moment on the boat had only been a few weeks ago, but it feels like so much time has passed between now and then. So many things have happened and all of them are good. Luke firmly believes it.

Ashton’s voice brings him back to the present. “I hope you don’t mind the walk, but it shouldn’t take us too long to reach the top.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Luke says, and he really means it. As a matter of fact, the longer, the better. The distance means that he’ll have even more time to spend with Ashton, and every second counts. Every single one.

They ascend the path leading to Cape Byron at a steady pace, hand in hand, enjoying the view of the ocean below them and the town that they leave behind. It’s absolutely breathtaking and Luke can only imagine what it must look like in the daytime, with its natural hues of blue and green and the bright sand along the shore. Still, the moonlight that illuminates everything is beautiful in its own way.

Conversation between them is kept to a minimum on the way there, but Luke doesn’t mind the silence. He’s satisfied with Ashton’s presence and the warmth of a larger hand linked with his smaller one. He can’t quite describe it, but there’s something particularly peaceful about it so he cherishes this moment whiles it lasts.

Luke doesn’t know how long it takes, but eventually they reach the top and he feels a little sad—that is, until he reads the little sign that says they’re standing at the easternmost point of the Australian mainland. The cool breeze almost makes him feel as if he’s on top of the world, especially when he glances down and watches the waves crashing into the bottom of the cliff. The wooden railing is all that separates him from the edge, but he isn’t afraid at all. In fact, being up so high makes him feel weightless.

Two arms wrap around his waist from behind and a chin comes to rest on his shoulder. Luke leans back into Ashton’s embrace and he feels incredibly safe in this moment. Safe, weightless, and happy.

“Neat, huh?” Ashton murmurs.

“ _Amazing_ is more like it,” Luke huffs in disbelief. He doesn’t think that he’s ever seen a sight more beautiful, and the full moon is directly in front of them now. This perfect position gives the illusion of being able to touch it. All that he has to do is reach out and try, and then the moon would be his.

Ashton giggles into his neck and they stand there in silence for what seems like forever.

“The first time I stood here was ten years ago,” Ashton says all of a sudden. “We were travelling up to Brisbane to visit some family and we stopped here along the way… at the time, I literally thought that we were on top of the world, because it really felt like it.”

Luke chuckles softly, able to relate to the feeling. If it were possible, he’d stay up here with Ashton for the rest of his life.

“We didn’t stay for long because we had to hit the road again, but I told myself that I’d come back someday and stand on top of the world one more time. I never imagined that I’d end up living here, though…”

A few seconds go by but Ashton doesn’t say anything more, so Luke takes that as his cue to speak up.

“Do you like living here?” he asks.

Ashton hums in thought, which is a bit surprising because Luke had always assumed that Ashton loved it here more than any place else. At least, that’s what it seemed like.

“It has its perks,” Ashton answers at last. “But, I suppose the illusion that I was under when I first moved here has pretty much worn off.”

Luke finds it hard to understand what any of that means, because as far as he’s concerned, living in Byron Bay has been like a dream—a really good dream that lasted for two months but felt timeless as he experienced it. It was paradise, basically, and tomorrow he’s going to finally wake up from this dream that has taught him so many things; friendship, love, and how to be a bit more confident in himself.

“Thank you,” he mutters.

“For what?”

Luke twists around so that they’re facing each other, and he tries to quickly piece together everything that he wants to say before he gets lost in Ashton’s eyes and loses it all. That happened way too often for his liking.

“For telling me that stuff, I guess… and for taking me out to dinner—for this whole night, really. I don’t know, just… thank you for everything.”

Luke thinks he probably did a shitty job at explaining himself, but he doesn’t worry about it too much. He’s suddenly overwhelmed by how thankful he feels for being able to spend these past two months with Ashton. There are so many other ways that this whole thing could’ve gone, had he made different decisions or said the wrong things. It still really fucking hurts that it has to end with him leaving Ashton, but right now, he just wants to express his gratitude for being able to have Ashton in his life for as long as he did.

Kissing Ashton right now is another desire of his. Yeah, it’s true that he _always_ thinks about kissing Ashton to some degree, but at the moment he literally wants nothing more. He glances down at the pretty lips that he’ll never get tired of, and just as he’s about to lean forward, those lips quirk up into a smile.

“Don’t get sentimental on me just yet, the night isn’t over and we haven’t even gotten to the best part.”

Before Luke has a chance to make a comment on that, Ashton takes his hand again and tugs him towards the short flight of steps that lead to the lighthouse. It’s much bigger up close, just like he thought it would be, and the moonlight shining on its all-white exterior gives it a glowing effect. For some reason the giant bulb isn’t on right now, but that’s fine because Luke has seen it from his bedroom window and knows how painfully bright it would be from so close up.

Once they’re close enough, Ashton makes his way over to the entrance.

“Um, wouldn’t it be locked at this hour?” Luke asks, since he’s heard that the lighthouse tours end in the afternoon.

“Yup,” Ashton says, and he shoves a hand into his back pocket, bringing out a key.

“You have a key…?”

“Yup,” Ashton repeats.

If that isn’t suspicious as hell, Luke doesn’t know what is.

“Okay… and how did you get a key in the first place?” he asks next, although he’s not sure he even wants to know.

“Well, sometimes it pays to be really nice to certain people,” Ashton answers. A second later he manages to get the door open and he glances back at Luke with a wide grin.

Yeah, definitely suspicious.

“So, I’m guessing we could possibly get in huge trouble for this.”

Ashton gives a nonchalant shrug. “Possibly, yeah.”

This is probably insane. It’s insane and Luke should be the sensible one and not go along with it, especially since he has no idea just how much trouble they could find themselves in. He should talk Ashton out of this instead of letting himself get suckered into it, seduced by that sneaky grin and those eyes that challenge him constantly. He knows what he should do, knows the _right_ thing to do…

But, of course he doesn’t do it.

“Count me in,” Luke says, and perhaps it’s worth it when he sees how proud Ashton is. He quickly glances around to make sure that no one is watching them nearby and then approaches the entrance, following Ashton inside.

It’s really dark within the lighthouse and Luke stumbles once or twice as they climb the spiral staircase, the echoes of their footsteps filling the narrow space. The excitement from being inside of a lighthouse for the first time clouds over his fear of getting caught, especially once he reminds himself that he’s living for the moment—and that’s basically all that he can do.

They come to another door near the top that leads out onto the narrow balcony platform, and Luke follows Ashton through it. Now he really is on top of the world, as he takes in the gorgeous view of the town that seems so far away. Yellow lights can be seen here and there, but it’s nothing like the overwhelming city lights back in Sydney. It’s absolutely perfect here and the stars are as vibrant as ever. Luke kind of wishes that he could be amongst them.

“I wish that I was a star,” he mumbles, leaning against the balcony wall and letting his head fall back so that he can stare straight up into the night sky.

Ashton joins his side and he’s standing so close that Luke can feel the warmth radiating from him, despite the slight breeze.

“You already are a star,” Ashton tells him.

Luke doesn’t avert his gaze from the sky, but he does frown a little.

“How so?” he asks.

“Well…” Ashton pauses and lifts both of his arms, reaching up towards the sky. “Think of it this way: stars light up the night sky, don’t they? Even without electricity, you can always rely on the stars, and I think the same goes for people, too… everyone is a star for someone else. In other words, the stars light up the sky in a similar way that people light up each other’s lives, y’know? At least, that’s how I see it. Plus, your shirt has stars on it! That’s basically an indicator in itself.”

First intoxicated Ashton calls Luke an angel and now sober Ashton claims that he’s a star? That’s kind of funny, and Luke finds himself laughing a little.

“Sooo… I light up your life?” he says teasingly, though it’s no joke that Ashton lights up _his_ life.

“In a way, yeah. You do,” Ashton answers with complete sincerity, and he drops his arms back down to his sides.

The amount of honesty in that statement catches Luke off guard, and he doesn’t know what to say in return since he hadn’t expected Ashton to say such a thing. He can feel his face heating up and he doesn’t dare to look over at Ashton because he knows that the feeling will only get worse. It’s already bad enough that his heart feels like it’s thumping out of control.

God, being in love is so exhausting.

Luke exhales a long, tired sigh. “So I’m a star and you’re the sun,” he mumbles, “which is really just a bigger star, isn’t it?”

To his surprise, Ashton laughs. “Wait, whoever said that I was the sun?”

Luke cannot believe that he just let that slip out. Although to be honest, he also thinks it would’ve happened much sooner, since he’s been referring to Ashton as the sun in his mind for so long now. He feels a bit embarrassed but, hey, it’s the truth. Ashton is definitely the human embodiment of sunshine.

“Well, you remind me of the sun,” Luke quietly explains, “because you’re always so warm and bright and your presence is just as intense… you really outshine all the other stars around you.”

A part of Luke hopes that those words aren’t as cliché as they sounded, but a larger part of himself doesn’t think it matters. He just wants to tell Ashton how fucking amazing he is, and if he has to use metaphors about stars to convey those feelings, then so be it.

Ashton hasn’t said anything yet but the silence doesn’t feel like an awkward one, so Luke patiently waits.

Suddenly, Ashton goes from standing next to Luke to standing directly in front of him instead, and when Luke glances down he sees that Ashton is smiling warmly and holding out a hand.

“I’ve always wanted to dance with a star, especially after watching the show,” Ashton says.

It takes a short moment of confusion before Luke understands the pun, and his loud laughter fills the space around them.

“Did you seriously just say that?” he asks, still chuckling with glee.

Ashton is laughing, too. “Come on, you have to admit that that was pretty smooth.”

He’s still holding out his hand expectedly, though, which indicates that he hadn’t been entirely joking.

“But there isn’t any music,” Luke points out.

“I’ll make some, then,” Ashton says, shrugging.

That hardly made the slightest bit of sense, but he takes Ashton’s hand anyway and allows himself to be pulled forward, away from the wall and into Ashton’s arms where he feels happiest.

After all, Luke will always dance with Ashton.

They slowly sway back and forth underneath the stars as Ashton begins to hum a tune to a song that Luke recognizes, but he can’t remember the title. He feels like it’s a mixture of happiness and sadness, though, and for some reason it makes his chest feel a little tight. It’s literally on the tip of his tongue now and Luke searches his mind for answers, but he instantly remembers once Ashton begins softly singing the lyrics into his ear.

> _“Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul,_  
>  _That love never lasts._  
>  _And we've got to find other ways to make it alone,  
> _ _Or keep a straight face._
> 
> _And I've always lived like this,_  
>  _Keeping a comfortable distance._  
>  _And up until now I have sworn to myself  
> _ _That I'm content with loneliness._
> 
> _Because none of it was ever worth the risk._
> 
> _Well, you are the only exception.  
> _ _You are the only exception.”_

Luke doesn’t understand. Of all the songs that he could’ve picked, why did Ashton choose this one? And the way that he’s singing it to Luke—his voice sounding so soft, almost vulnerable, yet each word that comes from his lips contains so much emotion, it comes off as more of a confession. Not just a song.

> _“I've got a tight grip on reality,_  
>  _But I can't let go of what's in front of me here.  
> _ _I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up.  
> _ _Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.”_

This is definitely a confession. It _has_ to be. There’s no other explanation because the lyrics perfectly reflect everything that’s going on between them right now, and Luke knows that Ashton has to be thinking the same thing. Because why would he choose this song if he didn’t feel the same way? If he didn’t feel something stronger for Luke? The very feeling that neither of them have expressed verbally because they _can’t_?

Or can they? Luke has to hold Ashton tighter because his knees are beginning to feel weak and his head is a little dizzy now, just from imagining the possibility that _maybe_ Ashton loves him, too. Maybe Ashton doesn’t want him to leave just as much as Luke wishes that he could stay. At least, that’s what it sounds like, and Luke suddenly wants to cry for so many reasons that he can’t even begin to explain.

Earlier in the night he had told himself to live for the moment. Live and enjoy these final moments because they won’t last forever, and come tomorrow, he’ll have to leave it all behind. Now, with their arms around each other and Ashton humming softly again, Luke realizes that he can’t accept that. He really can’t.

Out of nowhere, he starts to think about Michael. It’s true that their situations are totally different, but Luke doesn’t want to live with the regret of not holding on to the person that he loves. He doesn’t want to wake up weeks—or even months later—wondering what they could’ve had if only he had done something sooner. Logic still tells him that nothing good can come of this and he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but he knows what he needs to do.

He needs to tell Ashton that he loves him.

***

Luke spends the entire walk back to Ashton’s place inside of his head. Ashton doesn’t say much, either, so it gives him time to think of how he will approach the subject and confess his love. That sounds like something straight out of a movie, but Luke knows that it won’t be as simple. He’s terrified and excited at the same time, he knows that he has to do this and he really _wants_ to, but first he needs to figure out _how_.

Perhaps he’ll start off with something easy, like hinting at it until he’s sure that Ashton is prepared for what he will say next. Then Luke will utter those three simple words and improvise from that point on, since he has no idea how Ashton will react—it shouldn’t be _bad_ , though, since he’s ninety percent sure that Ashton feels the same way.

Except none of that actually happens.

From the moment that they make it into the little apartment, Ashton basically jumps him. Luke is taken by surprise when two hands begin roaming all over his body and there’s a persistent mouth against his own, but he kisses back, anyway. It doesn’t take long at all for them to stumble into the bedroom, most of their clothing articles already left behind on the floor, and Luke doesn’t protest when Ashton pushes him down onto the mattress and straddles him right afterwards.

But for some reason, this doesn’t feel right.

Ashton’s lips against his skin and the hands roughly tugging his hair— _that_ feels right. It always feels right. However, this isn’t what they should be doing right now. Luke doesn’t want to just get off with Ashton for old times’ sake, then wake up the next morning and go back home. He doesn’t want that at all, and they _need_ to talk about the blatant tension in the room because he’s sure that he isn’t the only one who senses it.

Everything that Ashton is doing to him is so intense, though, and Luke can feel himself getting harder every time that Ashton roughly grinds down against him. It’s becoming far too much to handle.

“Ash… s-slow down a bit, yeah?” he suggests, and then hisses when Ashton nips the skin under his jawline.

Ashton does slow down, just a bit, but a few seconds later it’s really intense again and Luke realizes that he’ll never get to say what he wants to say at this rate.

“Ashton, wait,” he says, firm and louder than before.

This time Ashton backs off completely, allowing Luke to sit up so that they can face each other.

“What?” Ashton asks. When he sees the way that Luke’s eyes widen a little, he realizes how aggressive and impatient he sounded. “Sorry, I… sorry.”

Luke softly shakes his head. “It’s okay, but… um, shouldn’t we talk first?”

Ashton only stares back at him for a few seconds before a small frown sets in. “Talk about what?”

Just from the way that he said it, Luke can tell that he knows _exactly_ what’s being implied here. Ashton is merely playing dumb, probably hoping that Luke will change his mind and drop the subject.

Well, fuck that. There’s no way in hell that Luke is going to do that now.

“You know what,” Luke replies, slightly annoyed.

His annoyance immediately turns into anger when he hears what Ashton says next.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Luke.”

And really, does he think that Luke is an idiot? Because it sure seems like that’s what he’s thinking. It’s almost as if Ashton believes that Luke won’t notice the elephant in the room, so long as he covers it up with ignorance and denial, pretending that it doesn’t exist. While it’s true that Luke is also afraid of acknowledging the issue at hand, he doesn’t think that it’s fair for Ashton to avoid it when they should be in this together. It isn’t fair at all, and it’s making him angry.

“…So you’re just going to fuck me one last time before I leave tomorrow and never see you again?” Luke mutters, and apparently the anger and betrayal can be heard in his tone because Ashton starts to get upset, too.

“Is there some other alternative that I don’t know about?” Ashton scoffs. “That’s always been the plan, since the very beginning!”

Luke shakes his head, refusing to listen. “You can’t just sit there and try to make me believe that… that you don’t feel something, too.”

Ashton’s mouth hardens into a straight line and he folds his arms across his chest.

“I don’t feel anything.”

Those four words feel like multiple knives being driven into Luke’s body from various angles. It hurts just that much, and it takes a few seconds for him to realize that his lungs are burning because he had temporarily stopped breathing.

“You… you don’t mean that,” he says, barely above a whisper because his voice might crack if he speaks any louder. “You don’t…”

Luke doesn’t believe him— _can’t_ believe him. Not after everything that had happened tonight, from the words they exchanged and the gentle touches, to the song that Ashton had sang to him. Luke can’t believe those words because of the fact that Ashton always stares at him as if he were diamonds, and touches him as if he were made of the finest silk. Ashton kisses him with everything that he has, and Luke refuses to believe that it’s all an act. Besides, he hadn’t been looking in Luke’s eyes when he said it, probably because he couldn’t.

So, it has to be a lie.

“And what if I do?” Ashton replies, looking at him again. “See, the problem with you is that you have this image of me—this idea that I’m some sort of perfect being who could never hurt you. Well, you’re wrong. I’m human, and a pretty shitty one at that; but, you know what? That’s life.”

“Oh my god,” Luke groans, rolling his eyes harder than ever because he’s really lost his patience now. It’s time that he stood up for himself. “Ashton, don’t try to give me some bullshit reason as to why you can’t admit the obvious! And for the love of god, stop trying to justify hating yourself just because you don’t want to believe that I…”

Luke pauses before he lets himself finish that sentence, which only needs two words to be completed. Perhaps what he was about to say is written all over his face, because Ashton looks alarmed and he begins to shake his head.

“ _Don’t_. Don’t you dare say it,” Ashton warns him, but his voice wavers and he sounds the opposite of authoritative. He sounds terrified.

Luke swallows around the lump in his throat. “I will. I’ll… I’ll say what I want to say.”

He feels unbelievably courageous in this moment. Courageous and reckless and his heart is beating so fast that he fears it will stop, but he’s made up his mind and he won’t back down now. No matter what, he won’t back down.

Ashton is still rapidly shaking his head and he’s breathing a little harder. “Luke, you can’t—”

“I love you, Ashton.”

It feels like being let out of a cage and set free. It feels like flying into the heavens above. But it also feels like being pushed off a cliff, plummeting a thousand feet and helplessly waiting for the ground to meet his descending body.

Ashton’s eyes are wider than ever and he looks as if he’d just been slapped in the face with a brick. If someone were to walk in right now, they’d assume that that’s exactly what had happened. They’d never guess that Luke had just confessed his love mere seconds before.

When Ashton is able to speak again he yells, “You don’t know what you’re saying, Luke!”

Luke hadn’t known what sort of reaction he’d get, but this… this isn’t it. He hadn’t expected this outburst at all.

“Yes, I do!” he argues. “I-I’ve been thinking about it nonstop and… and there’s no other explanation for how I—”

“No,” Ashton blurts out, cutting him off. He practically jumps up from the mattress, and then takes a few steps back. “No, no, _no_ …”

Luke feels his courage slip away, feels the way it dies down and turns into fear and he’s standing before he even realizes what he’s doing, but he’s too afraid to take a single step towards Ashton. He’s afraid of scaring him off, but even more so, he’s afraid that Ashton will push him away and reject him because he doesn’t _want_ Luke. Ashton doesn’t want Luke or his love or anything else that he has to offer, and not only does that frighten Luke, it makes him feel absolutely worthless.

“Ashton, I’m in love with you,” he says, trying so goddamn hard to keep his voice even. “I’m in love with you and—and I refuse to lie about it, even if you want me to...”

“You’re only _eighteen_ , for god’s sake!” Ashton exclaims. “How can you claim to be in love when you’re just eighteen? You… you have no right to say that.”

Luke almost wants to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of that statement. “I have no right to express my own feelings? Yes, I am eighteen. Yes, I’m young and a little naïve and I’m going to fuck up sometimes, but that’s okay. All of it is okay. It’s okay because… I know how I feel right now, in _this_ moment, and I accept it. Why can’t you?”

Ashton opens his mouth to say something, but then he quickly shuts it again, apparently changing his mind about whatever it is that he wanted to say. Luke can see the uncertainty within his wide hazel eyes and Ashton knows it, which is probably why he turns away instead of facing the truth.

“You’re being… you’re being very illogical,” Ashton grumbles stubbornly.

The way that he stands now, arms wrapped around his torso as if he’s trying to protect himself from something, reminds Luke of the night that they had played guitar together in the living room, just before Ashton opened up to him for the first time. He’s trying to close himself off again, just like that night, and the realization hits Luke in the face.

“You’re afraid, aren’t you?” Luke says, breaking the silence.

Although barely noticeable, Ashton seems to cringe a little from those words and Luke gets his answer.

“That’s it, isn’t it? You’re afraid of how you feel and of how I feel about you…”

“Shut up,” Ashton replies, but it’s weak and without the same intensity as before.

Now that he knows he’s absolutely right, Luke doesn’t stop. “You’re afraid to fall in love again because of what happened to you, and you’re probably thinking that you don’t deserve to be loved at all.”

“Stop! Just… just _stop_.”

Ashton whirls around to face him again and his eyes look so tired now, so tired and defeated. Luke has never seen him look like this before, and now he really wishes that he hadn’t.

“Ashton…”

“Why are you even trying?” Ashton says all of a sudden, and he sounds just as tired as he looks. “No matter what we say here tonight, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re going home tomorrow.” Ashton gestures towards the rest of the room. “This place? It isn’t your home, Luke. You’re going to go back home and then off to college to do great things. So what’s the point? Why… why admit _any_ of this?”

Luke doesn’t reply immediately because he doesn’t know the answer. In fact, this isn’t even how the conversation was supposed to go.

Just an hour ago he had felt confident and sure of himself, now the only thing that he feels is _agony_. Agony and a bit of confusion because he never imagined that it would turn out like this, especially considering how perfect the night had been so far. It was perfect and then he went ahead and ruined it. Why does he always have to fuck everything up?

The sudden taste of blood on his tongue makes Luke realize that he had been chewing on his bottom lip a little too hard.

“Because… because if I don’t, then I’ll always wonder what if I had?” He’s forced to pause when the lump appears in his throat again. “I don’t want to go home, Ashton… I don’t want to go home, I don’t want to go to uni, and I don’t… don’t want to leave you.”

For whatever reason, Ashton’s eyes go wide, suddenly filled with what looks like a great amount of concern and guilt. A second later he’s walking over to Luke and closing the distance between them.

“It’s… it’ll be okay, Luke,” Ashton says, but he sounds a bit panicked and unsure of his own words. “Don’t cry… please don’t cry.”

What a bizarre thing to say. Luke is about to reply that he isn’t crying, but then he finally notices the sensation of hot tears streaming down both of his cheeks. He also acknowledges the stinging behind his eyes for the first time.

When the hell had he started crying?

“Sorry,” he quickly mumbles, reaching up to wipe away the tears with the back of his hand. It’s pointless because they continue to fall anyway, ignoring his efforts and staining his face. He just can’t stop crying.

“Sorry,” Luke repeats, though he isn’t sure why. He feels embarrassed and pathetic and helpless, all at the same time, and everything really fucking sucks right now. The only thing that he wants to do is curl up into a ball and wait for the pain to go away.

He’s being gently led towards the bed before he even realizes it, and when Ashton prompts him to sit down he doesn’t resist. He also doesn’t resist the strong arms that wrap around him, holding him tightly while he silently cries until the tears eventually do stop coming. Even then Ashton doesn’t let go of him, and the hand softly caressing Luke’s back calms him a little.

He isn’t sure of how long they sit there, but eventually the dead silence is broken when Ashton quietly speaks up.

“You were right, y’know,” he mumbles.

Luke leans up from where his head had been resting on Ashton’s shoulder so that they can make eye contact, and he quickly scrubs at his tear-stained face with the back of his hand again, imagining how terrible he must look right now. He still feels pathetic and lost, but he does try to listen to what’s being said.

“You were right about everything,” Ashton tells him. “I… I really am scared, Luke.”

Even if he hadn’t said that, it’s as obvious as anything. Fear is basically written all over his face and he keeps glancing in random directions, trying to focus on anything other than Luke’s eyes. He isn’t holding Luke anymore so his hands are anxiously clenching the bedspread, his knuckles gone white. It’s weird seeing him like this, and it makes him seem so… _small_ —which is even weirder, because Ashton has always seemed so big to Luke. At the moment, he almost resembles a small, frightened child that had only lashed out because he was afraid.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, either… I’m sorry.” Ashton pauses to take a deep breath, probably hoping to compose himself, but it doesn’t work and he starts to look a little panicked again. “Fuck, I… I’m so fucking sorry, Luke, I didn’t want any of this to happen—didn’t wanna make you cry, for god’s sake, but I just… I really don’t understand why you would even… _how_ you could even…”

“…How I could even love you?” Luke finishes for him, and he hates the way that Ashton cringes at the word. “Dammit, Ashton, you’re not the only one who’s scared here. I am, too! I’ve never… I’ve never experienced anything like this in my entire life, but I know that it’s love and I know that I love _you_. Maybe you don’t want to believe it, but it’s the truth and it’s not going to change.”

“How can you say that so _confidently_?” Ashton asks, and when he realizes that he had raised his voice again, he sighs and says quietly, “I don’t get it, Luke. I really don’t get it. If you’re afraid, then why would you want anything to do with the very thing that scares you? Why not ignore it and wait for it to go away? How can you… just eagerly throw your life away like this?”

For the first time in countless minutes, Ashton looks him directly in the eyes before asking the same question from before.

“How can you love someone like me?”

Luke doesn’t know what hurts more; the question itself or how genuinely confused Ashton looks, as if he literally cannot fathom the possibility of someone loving him. In fact, Luke doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone with a more distorted view of what love is or what it means to _be_ in love.

Ashton acts as if ‘love’ is this horrible thing that you should run away from, because being in love with someone is the worst thing that can possibly happen to you. Luke doesn’t know much about love, but he still believes that such a negative way of thinking is _wrong_. He knows exactly why Ashton thinks like this, too, and it saddens him even more.

Luke reaches out and carefully takes Ashton’s hands into his own, once he’s sure that Ashton won’t pull away; then he tries to arrange his thoughts into words that will perfectly convey how he feels, without adding to all of the drama.

“Ashton, please listen to me. I know that you’ve been hurt in the past and you’re probably afraid of getting hurt again, but just… listen, okay?” Luke feels the way that Ashton’s hands stiffen at those words, but he doesn’t pull them back so it must be a good sign.

“Loving someone doesn’t mean throwing your life away for them. That’s… not love at all. It’s more like, um… love is like when you decide to let someone into your life, because they’re special to you and you want to share a part of yourself with them—even the bad parts that you don’t show anyone else. Does that make any sense…?”

At first it doesn’t look as if Ashton will answer him, but then Ashton asks, “How do you know for sure? You’ve never been in love before.”

Luke shrugs. “I’ve seen it, though… and no, I’m not talking about what they show you in the movies. I’m talking about _real_ love. Like… the way that my parents look at each other, and the way that my brother looks at his fiancée. I didn’t understand it at first and I probably still don’t, but… I feel that same love whenever I look at you, Ash.”

Ashton’s eyes go a little wide and he quickly looks away, seemingly uncomfortable from all of the honesty. Luke thinks that perhaps it’s exactly what he needs to hear, though.

“Being here with you has been the greatest time of my life. Did you know that?” Luke smiles to himself when he thinks of everything that they’ve done together in the past two months, still unable to believe that he was lucky enough to have Ashton by his side the entire time. “You asked how I could possibly love someone like you… well, I think the bigger question is how could I not?”

Luke patiently waits for Ashton to look at him again before he says anything else, because he wants Ashton to believe in what he’s saying instead of letting it go into one ear and then out the other. He needs Ashton to see the truth in his eyes, and needs him to realize that these words are nothing but the truth.

“You’re so fucking amazing, Ashton, and sometimes I… I can’t even believe that you’re real? You’re just so incredible. So incredibly nice and beautiful and talented and funny—like, I’m pretty that no one makes me laugh harder than you do, and I always feel happy when I’m with you. You’re basically perfect, every single inch of you, and I wish that you could see that, too.”

Ashton glances down at their joined hands, then back up into Luke’s eyes, and then down again.

“…I make you happy?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah, you do,” Luke answers. “You make me so goddamn happy, especially tonight… well, earlier this evening. It was really fun and it made me happy that you put so much effort into our last night together. I wish that I was able to make you happy…”

“You do make me happy,” Ashton mumbles, and it surprises him a little.

“I do?”

Ashton nods. That confirmation puts the happiest smile on Luke’s face, but before he can say anything else, he notices the nervous manner in which Ashton licks his lips and opens his mouth to speak again.

“Ever since the first time that I saw you on the beach, I thought that… you were really cute. When we met at the bar the same night and I noticed that you were interested in me, I figured we might hook up and have some fun. Maybe…”

Ashton trails off for a few seconds, but when he starts to talk again, he’s speaking a little too fast from nervousness. “And yeah, I was put off at first because of the whole age thing, but eventually I just said fuck it. It’s only for one summer, right? Except it’s _not_. I realized that this… this thing we have, it’s much more than that—so much more, and it scares the fuck out of me… I tried to ignore it, I really tried because I knew that you were leaving, in the end. But I can’t, I just _can’t_ … I think I’m falling for you, Luke.”

Ashton quickly shakes his head, his eyes clenched shut as if it physically pains him to say these next words, but he’s going to say them, anyway.

“I _know_ I’m falling for you,” he corrects himself, voice cracking at the end of that sentence.

Luke suddenly feels like he’s flying all over again, only this time it’s not followed by the sensation of falling off a cliff. It’s just as overwhelming, though, and the burning desire that he felt earlier is flaring inside of his tummy again.

He needs to kiss Ashton right now or he just might go insane.

Luke’s hands come up to grip the sides of Ashton’s face and he surges forward, claiming those beautiful lips with his own. It only takes a second for Ashton to come to his senses and kiss back with just as much intensity, his own hands fumbling as he struggles to decide where he wants to touch Luke. Eventually he just presses his palms into Luke’s back, pulling him closer, yearning for more contact. Luke revels in the knowledge that he’s wanted—that _Ashton_ wants him.

He loves Ashton and Ashton loves him. Well, Ashton is certainly on his way to loving Luke, if that’s what it means when you’re in the process of falling for someone. Fuck it, who cares about specifics, the point is that Ashton reciprocates his feelings in some way, and Luke has never been happier than he is now.

“Fuck,” Luke mumbles against Ashton’s lips, kissing them again and again. “I love you, I love you, _I love you_ ,” he repeats, and he’ll never get tired of saying it.

Ashton makes the cutest little noise at that, kissing Luke even harder. When they finally do pull away, breathing heavily and gazing into each other’s eyes with bashful smiles on their faces, Luke rests their foreheads together. It’s true that he’s as happy as can be, but he also knows that there are obstacles awaiting them. Obstacles that can’t be avoided forever.

“What do we do?” he whispers, his voice shaking with worry.

Ashton catches on immediately. “I don’t know, Luke… I really don’t know.”

Luke hasn’t a single clue, either. As much as he doesn’t want to wake up from this dream, reality is calling and he still has to leave tomorrow morning. He still has to leave Ashton. And, he didn’t think that it was possible but it hurts twice as much, now that he knows he isn’t the only one in pain.

Well, that just means that they’re in this together, and together they can find a way to make it all work out.

“We can make it work,” Luke says aloud.

Ashton frowns a little. “How?”

“Well, um…” Luke racks his brains for some sort of solution, before blurting out the only one that he knows. “Technology is a wonderful thing.”

It takes Ashton a little longer this time to understand what Luke is implying, but when he does, he looks and sounds frightened all over again.

“You… you mean, like, a long-distance thing?”

Luke nods, using a thumb to gently caress Ashton’s cheek as an effort to keep him calm. “Yeah, a long-distance relationship. If… if you want.”

Ashton gulps nervously. “Luke, I haven’t been in a relationship since…”

“I know,” Luke murmurs. “But, I’m willing to give it a try if you are. We’ll never know unless we try.”

“I just…” Ashton lets out a frustrated sigh. “I feel like you deserve someone better, someone who—”

Luke gently kisses his lips to shut him up, and pulls back a moment later. “No more of that, okay? I didn’t purposely fall in love with you, but I don’t regret it a single bit and I won’t tolerate you saying bad things about yourself.”

“Okay… but what if it doesn’t work out, in the end? What if the distance is too much, or—what if something happens?”

Luke shrugs. “I don’t know, but ‘what ifs’ are just that: _what ifs_. I don’t know what’ll happen, but I do know that I want to be with you. Just you.”

“…I want to be with you, too,” Ashton mutters, and he sounds sure of himself now. “God, so much—I want that so much, Luke.”

Luke is instantly filled with hope. “So… so you’ll give us a chance?”

When Ashton slowly nods, maybe Luke should be embarrassed about the strange, high-pitched giggle of joy that escapes him, but he isn’t. He isn’t embarrassed at all because Ashton is his boyfriend now, so nothing else really matters. He kisses Ashton again and Ashton immediately kisses him back, starting to suck on Luke’s lip ring like he always does. Luke lets out a small moan and he already loves the feeling of Ashton being _his_. Just his.

“Is it… is it even normal to feel this way about someone you’ve known for two months?” Ashton asks, peppering kisses along Luke’s jawline.

Luke shivers from just that little bit of pleasure. “Who knows… love is weird, but s-so are we…”

Apparently that’s a good enough answer for Ashton, because he doesn’t say anything else. His mouth is currently occupied as he kisses down the length of Luke’s neck, much more gentle and careful than earlier as if he’s afraid of breaking Luke, now that he has him. But every kiss feels like a promise of some kind, promises that are sealed by the soft touch of Ashton’s fingertips when he pulls back, caressing the area and leaving behind goosebumps. As they stare into each other’s eyes for a short moment that feels like years, Luke comes to a very important conclusion.

He needs to feel Ashton inside of him.

“I wanna do it with you tonight,” he says in a rushed whisper, too anxious to care about how he sounds. “I wanna go all the way… can we? Please?”

Ashton’s breath hitches in his throat and he blinks a few times, looking a little shocked. Then he finally reacts by nodding rapidly and connecting their lips again, kissing Luke so passionately that the younger boy gladly melts into it. Luke brings his hands up to shuck off the unbuttoned shirt from Ashton’s shoulders, and Ashton finishes the job by removing his arms from the sleeves. He somehow manages to do that without breaking the kiss for a single second, which Luke thinks is pretty amazing.

Ashton is amazing.

Luke loves Ashton.

When they break apart at last, Ashton nods again.

“I’ll, uh—I’ll go get the stuff, okay?” he says, still breathing hard. But he doesn’t actually do that, yet. Instead he kisses Luke once, twice, and then a third time just because he wants to. Pretty soon they find themselves absorbed into another deep kiss, which only comes to an end when Luke reaches down and grips Ashton’s dick through the fabric of his underwear.

“Fuck,” Ashton hisses, and he seems to remember what he was supposed to do. “Right. Okay. The stuff. Um—don’t move.”

This time he gives a quick peck to Luke’s already swollen lips before hopping up from the bed, moving towards the dresser to retrieve the lube and a condom. Luke has a goofy smile plastered on his face because this is it. Ashton is finally going to fuck him. He’s also really fucking nervous, yeah, but he trusts that Ashton will take care of him. Ashton always takes care of him, after all.

***

By now, Luke is used to having Ashton’s fingers inside of him. He’s used to the weird sensation of slowly being stretched open, so he doesn’t focus on the slight discomfort once there’s a third finger inside of him. Instead he focuses on the feeling of Ashton’s mouth against his own, the hot tongue licking against his and the excitement of knowing that they’ll do more this time. What’s even better is that his first time experiencing penetration will be with Ashton. His boyfriend. It sends tingles throughout Luke’s body, as if the fingers inside of him weren’t already doing that.

He wants this feeling to always be caused by Ashton, though. No one else.

 _Jesus Christ_ , he really needs Ashton’s dick inside of him right now. Like, right this very instance.

Luke begins to whine because he’s growing impatient, and Ashton is working him open far too slowly for his liking.  

“Okay,” he huffs, clenching around Ashton’s fingers. “That’s enough… I-I’m ready now.”

Ashton doesn’t seem to think so. “You’re still a little too tight, though.”

“It’s okay,” Luke insists. “I’ll be okay, just—just do it already.”

Ashton temporarily ceases the movement of his fingers and he stares down at Luke with deep worry in his eyes.

“Lukey, if I don’t do it right then I could end up hurting you and… I never want to do that.”

As sweet as it is that Ashton cares so much, Luke’s desire to be fucked is stronger than his need to be coddled. Way stronger.

“I promise you won’t hurt me, Ash, I’ll be fine,” he says. “I just… I need you so fucking badly… _please_.”

In truth, Luke wouldn’t mind the pain. He wants to feel everything as much as he possibly can. The pain, the pleasure, all of it. He wants to be able to think about this moment sometime in the future, remembering every single sensation that had his body shaking and his throat raw from moaning so much. That’s what he desires more than anything, right now.

“Alright,” Ashton says, and he swallows thickly before repeating, “Alright.”

He doesn’t pull out immediately, though. He pumps his fingers two more times for good measure before slowly retracting them, and Luke hisses when he feels the cool air against his empty hole. He needs to be filled again as soon as possible, so he’s more than glad when Ashton tears open the condom and wraps it around himself.

As if Luke’s heart isn’t already beating fast enough, it starts to get out of control as he witnesses Ashton pouring more lube onto his hand and slowly stroking himself, making Luke yearn for him more and more. Pretty soon that cock is going to be inside of him and Luke can almost feel it already.

Ashton lines himself up with Luke’s hole and one of his hands gently caresses Luke’s thigh, which had started to tremble from excitement.

“Ready?” he asks, soft but still loud enough to be heard over Luke’s heart beating in his ears.

Luke gives a quick nod and wraps his legs around Ashton’s waist.

“Are you sure…?” Ashton then asks.

This time Luke frowns, his impatience quite plain to see.

“Sorry,” Ashton chuckles, albeit nervously. “I’ve just never been anyone’s first when it comes to this… I don’t wanna ruin it for ya or make you hate it, y’know?”

The corners of Luke’s mouth curve up into a small smile and he inclines his neck a little, kissing Ashton on the nose.

“The only thing I hate right now is your dick not being inside of me,” he murmurs with complete seriousness, and Ashton snorts.

Luke is still serious, though. “I love you,” he whispers.

Ashton’s eyes widen a little and he lets out a deep sigh, probably still trying to get used to hearing those words. Luke doesn’t mind, he’ll just keep saying them again and again until Ashton believes them with every fiber of his being. Even then Luke won’t stop saying those words, because they are the absolute truth.

The head of Ashton’s dick suddenly pushes against his entrance and Luke intakes a sharp breath, mentally preparing himself for what’s to come next. His body, on the other hand, automatically stiffens from the unfamiliar sensation because it knows that this definitely isn’t Ashton’s fingers this time.

“Relax,” Ashton murmurs, and he caresses Luke’s thigh again as he slowly begins to push inside of him.

Luke does attempt to relax, but it’s easier said than done. He has no idea what to do with his hands but he knows that they need to touch _something_ , so he stops gripping the sheets underneath him and reaches up, hands skittering over the curve of Ashton’s perfect back and shoulders before settling on his biceps. Ashton continues sinking into him inch by inch, stretching him more than ever before, and Luke starts to feel like his body is on fire. Literally.

He’s already so overwhelmed from the feeling of having someone else inside of him—from having _Ashton_ inside of him, that he’s physically unable to register anything else in this moment. Knowing that it’ll just get even more intense from this point on is almost insane, because Luke doesn’t think that he’ll be able to last for long. Right now, he isn’t sure if it’s because of the pain or the possibility of coming sooner than usual.

Luke only realizes that Ashton is completely inside of him once Ashton speaks again, because his eyes were tightly clenched shut and he was too busy focusing on not crying out from how full he feels down there. Like, Ashton just feels so _solid_ inside of him. It’s much more intense than his fingers have ever felt and Luke is positive that he’s going to spontaneously combust any second now.

“You… you okay?” Ashton asks, and his tone already sounds so damn husky, just like it always gets whenever they’re getting each other off. But, somehow even his voice sounds more intense than usual. Everything is just so fucking intense and Luke finds it hard to breathe normally.

“Just… j-just a sec,” Luke manages to say through gritted teeth, willing his body to get used to the intrusion. Not as easy as he would like it to be.

“Sorry,” Ashton breathes out. He leans closer and presses gentle kisses on Luke’s forehead, his eyelids, nose, lips, anywhere in hopes of distracting him from the discomfort. It sort of helps, but only just. That’s when he reaches down between their bodies and grasps Luke’s cock, slowly stroking him as a means of using pleasure to overshadow the pain.

Luke really does cry out this time, and he focuses on the heat of Ashton’s hand around him as the pleasure gradually washes over him, consuming his entire being until that’s all that he can feel now. His mind has become a puddle of pure bliss and when Ashton leans down to kiss him again, rougher than before, Luke eagerly takes all that he’s given.

“Tell me when,” Ashton rasps, breathing hard against Luke’s swollen mouth.

As overwhelmed as Luke feels right now, he can only imagine what Ashton must be feeling, absorbed in the unbearable heat of Luke’s tight hole and desperately in need of the friction, but urging himself not to move yet so that Luke can get used to the feeling first. That amount of self-control must take a lot of practice, and Luke swears that he’s never felt more love and admiration for one person than he does now.

He kisses Ashton once more, just as roughly, and when he pulls back he stares up into Ashton’s wide eyes before giving a curt nod.

“ _Fuck me_ ,” Luke growls, voice laced with lust.

Ashton doesn’t need to be told twice. He slowly pulls out and, without a moment’s hesitation, thrusts back in with such strength that it knocks the breath out of Luke, despite his lack of oxygen already.

“More,” Luke gasps before he even knows what he’s saying, and Ashton happily obliges.

He starts by rocking into Luke at a slow pace, keeping in mind that this is Luke’s first time and he wants it to feel amazing, wants it to last for as long as it possibly can. All that Luke can do is hold onto Ashton, his back arching and his long legs squeezing around the other to pull him closer, impossibly closer because he never wants to let Ashton go. The feeling is nothing short of mutual, which is why Ashton unhooks Luke’s legs from his waist and repositions them, pushing them up even further for a better angle so that he can lean down and connect their lips in a deep kiss, all without breaking the rhythm of his hips.

Luke gladly widens his mouth to accept Ashton’s tongue and Ashton swallows every single one of his moans, which grow even louder as he starts to pick up the pace, steadily fucking into Luke now. Luke can already feel the familiar coiling in his stomach as the pleasure builds up inside, demanding to be released and causing his legs to tremble. He doesn’t want to come yet, is nowhere near ready for this mind-blowing feeling to be over, but he knows that once it happens he won’t be able to stop it.

His body is ablaze and his ears are filled with the wonderful sounds of their heavy panting as well as the slapping of skin against skin, every time that Ashton’s hips snap forward, thrusting into him again and again. It’s driving Luke crazy and Ashton knows it, evident by the way that he smiles down at the younger boy beneath him. His hazel eyes that are normally so soft and curious have a darker tint to them right now. They look so dark and wild and Luke has never been more turned on in his entire fucking life.

“You like that?” Ashton asks, chuckling breathlessly. He bucks his hips especially hard on the next thrust, making Luke cry out again.

“Y-Yeah,” Luke whimpers, and on another particularly sharp thrust he practically screams out, “ _Yes!_ ”

Ashton seems to really like that answer. A low growl rumbles in his throat and he tightens his grip on Luke’s hips, fingers digging into the skin just hard enough for two perfect little bruises to develop later on. And that’s exactly what Luke desires the most, to be left with some kind of reminder that at one point in time, everything was perfect because Ashton was inside of him and they were closer than they had ever been before.

“Tell me… tell me how good it feels, Luke,” Ashton demands, his breathing picking up and the movements of his hips are almost brutal now.

Luke can hardly even think straight, let alone form coherent sentences. But he never fails to do what Ashton requests of him, and it’s no secret that Luke is always eager to please.

“So good,” he sobs, barely able to hear himself over the blood rushing through his ears. “So good, Ash, so f-fucking good…”

The heat within his tummy has literally become unbearable by now, and Luke’s eyes go wide from the realization of how close he is to coming. Every merciless thrust brings him just a bit closer to the edge and somehow it’s a different feeling from all of the other times that Ashton has given him an orgasm. Luke doesn’t know why or how and he doesn’t care—he just feels as if he’s about to explode.

Ashton senses how close he is, so he slows down his movements until he’s hardly even moving at all. Before Luke has a chance to complain (because of course he’s _definitely_ about to, since he never told Ashton to stop fucking him into the mattress, goddammit) Ashton leans back and pulls Luke with him, changing their positions so that Luke is basically sitting in his lap. He’s still mostly inside of Luke, which is obviously a good thing, but Luke doesn’t understand what he’s trying to do here.

That is, until Ashton grips his hips again and tells him what to do.

“Move,” Ashton tells him, and it’s in that same bossy tone that Luke decided a long time ago is _really sexy_.

So, Luke does as he’s told. He rests his hands on Ashton’s shoulders and lifts himself up a little, before experimentally lowering his body back down until Ashton’s cock is completely inside of him again. That earns him a nice gasp from Ashton, and Luke has to admit that this new positon feels _especially_ good. Perhaps even better than being on his back had felt. He repeats the action by raising himself up and sliding back down once more, getting the same result and deciding that, yeah, he likes this. Luke really likes riding Ashton.

He also likes that they’re still close so he’s able to kiss Ashton if he wants to, and he _always_ wants to kiss Ashton, so he does immediately. He kisses Ashton with the sole purpose of embedding the taste of those lips into his memory. As many kisses as they’ve shared in the past month, it’s not enough. It’s never enough so Luke keeps his mouth attached to Ashton’s for as long as he can, _while_ he still can.

Ashton keeps his hands on Luke’s hips, showing him how to rotate them in just the right ways to get that perfect feeling, and Luke follows Ashton’s guidance, grinding down on his dick and loving the fact that he could make Ashton feel so good. Unexpectedly, when Luke rises up and grinds back down again, the head of Ashton’s dick brushes up against those same nerves that have only been touched by Ashton’s fingers until this point. Luke’s entire body spasms and it literally feels like being electrocuted, but it shoots a bolt of pleasure up his spine instead of pain.

Later on, he will wonder if the entire apartment complex heard the way that he cried out.

“Fuck!” Luke cries, holding on to Ashton’s shoulders for dear life. “Fuck, Ash— _oh my god_ …”

He thinks that he hears Ashton laugh into his sweaty neck, but he isn’t sure. The only thing on Luke’s mind at the moment is his need to experience that phenomenal sensation again, so he keeps fucking himself down on Ashton’s cock at that perfect angle, hitting his prostate again and again until that feeling is all that he knows. He feels his mouth moving as he repeats Ashton’s name like a mantra, although the words come out broken and sounding far-off as if he weren’t the one uttering them at all. It doesn’t matter because Ashton is making just as much noise, and the moans pouring from his lips has to be the greatest sound that Luke has ever heard.

Luke is beginning to see stars, the pleasure having built up to a dangerous level and his hip movements falter a little. He’s still so overwhelmed by everything and for a brief moment he wonders if his heart will stop. He’s going to come any second now and he knows it—it’s frightening and exciting and he wants it more than anything else, but he doesn’t want _this_ to end, he never wants this to end even though it has to.

Ashton keeps a hand on Luke’s hip while the other comes between them to firmly grip his leaking cock, stroking him in time with the movements of his hips. The heat was already unbearable before, and now it feels like it’s swallowing him whole.

Luke’s eyes are wide again and his mouth is hanging open but no sound comes out, his raw throat failing him. This is it, he’s as close as can be and the tight knot in his tummy is finally beginning to uncoil, regardless of his wishes. Ashton’s eyes are equally wide as they stare back into Luke’s, and there’s that familiar pause again. Just like the first time that they had had sex, the strangely intimate moment occurs between them as they gaze into each other’s eyes, breathing each other’s air. Only this time, it doesn’t feel strange at all.

In this moment, it feels like nothing else exists besides the two of them. It’s just them and their moving bodies and Luke feels even lighter than the first time that he experienced this feeling. As a matter of fact, it’s almost as if they’ve merged into a single being, and just like the time before, he can tell that the feeling is mutual. Ashton senses it, too. Luke hadn’t known what this moment meant back then, but now he’s certain that only one word can describe it.

It’s definitely _love_. Love in its rawest form.

But this time Ashton is the one who smiles softly, instantly sending Luke over the edge and Luke cries out one last time, head thrown back in ecstasy. He’s shaking violently and his muscles clench around Ashton so tightly that it rips his own orgasm from him only seconds later, and Luke whimpers not only from the sensation of Ashton’s cock throbbing inside of him, but also from the teeth that dig into the skin of his shoulder.

If it were possible, he’d instantly come a second time just from witnessing how hard _Ashton_ came, because Ashton looks so incredibly beautiful and intense and wild and _perfect_ —Luke really is in love with every single bit of him. He loves Ashton from his head to his toes and as they cling to each other, still trying to catch their breath while they slowly come back down to earth, Luke strongly believes that nothing could ever tear them apart.

Not distance, not time, not anything.

And that is the absolute truth.

***

When Luke awakens the next morning, he really wishes that he hadn’t.

Out of desperation, he quickly shuts his eyes again and wills himself to go back to sleep. If he sleeps, he won’t have to face what’s bound to come next. He’ll return to dreamland where he’s happy and Ashton is by his side, _permanently_ by his side and everything is perfect. However, after a few minutes of trying to force himself to sleep, it’s clear that that’s not going to happen. Life has been far too kind to him lately, and now it’s come to take it all away.

An overwhelming feeling of _dread_ sits deep in Luke’s stomach, because today is the day. He’s going back home with his friends and leaving Byron Bay behind.

He’s leaving Ashton behind.

It isn’t fair. It’s so unfair and he thought that he had accepted this fate, but the pain in his chest and the burning behind his eyes proves otherwise. Crying won’t change anything, so there’s no point in breaking down and letting the tears come, even though he kind of wants to. No one forced him to fall in love and he knew that he’d have to leave eventually, so he’ll face this with his head held high because it isn’t over. He’s leaving, yeah, but this is just the beginning of what he and Ashton will face together.

That’s right, they’re in this together now. He has to remind himself that he’s not alone.

Luke can tell that Ashton is awake, too, even though they’re not facing towards each other. Ashton feels stiff against him, because he also knows that Luke is awake now so there’s no reason for them to continue lying in bed anymore. Luke has to leave soon, after all.

Instead of focusing on any of that, Luke slowly turns over and he isn’t surprised when he finds Ashton wide awake. What surprises him is how red Ashton’s eyes look, so red and tired and Luke wonders if he slept at all.

Visions of the previous night come flooding into his mind and it’s a bit hazy, but he does remember their date, the argument, and most importantly, the feeling of Ashton fucking him relentlessly until they both came with greater intensity than the fireworks that they’d watched together on New Year’s.

Luke also remembers falling asleep in each other’s arms with their limbs entangled, and muttering the words _I love you_ into Ashton’s ear for the umpteenth time that night. But, from the looks of it, Ashton probably woke up some time later and has been lying there ever since. Luke suddenly wishes that he had woken up, too, so that they could spend the remaining hours whispering to each other until sunrise. He doesn’t care how exhausted he would have been later on, because every second that he has with Ashton counts.

And time is still running out.

They stare at each other but they don’t say anything. It’s almost like having a silent conversation with their eyes, both expressing how much they’ll miss one another because words can’t even begin to describe it. And that’s another truth that Luke firmly believes.

He leans closer and presses his lips to Ashton’s shoulder, keeping them there for countless seconds because he just needs to feel Ashton’s skin. He yearns for Ashton’s warmth, his scent, his touch, and everything in between. He needs to commit these things to memory because he has no idea when they’ll see each other again, and he really wishes that they had more _time_ since there’s so much that still needs to be discussed.

For now, Luke devotes all of his effort into committing Ashton to memory, kissing along his shoulder blade and up the length of his neck, each kiss firm and filled with the love that Luke feels for this amazing person next to him. He keeps kissing Ashton and gently caressing his back, enjoying the way that Ashton shivers and leans into his touch as if it’s the only thing keeping him together at the moment.

And maybe it is, because all of a sudden Ashton sniffles and Luke glances up to see a single teardrop falling onto the pillow. It looks like Ashton had been trying really hard to contain them, because his eyes are clenched shut as if he had been hoping that the tears wouldn’t escape.

The sight of Ashton crying, even though it’s only a little bit, _really_ scares Luke because he’s never seen Ashton cry before. Never. But now Ashton _is_ crying and Luke finds himself leaning down to kiss away those tears before he even thinks about it; he just knows that he needs to ease Ashton’s pain in any way that he can.

So he covers Ashton’s face in kisses, even when the tears have stopped and Ashton is just staring up at him again. For the first time in what feels like forever, Luke can’t really tell what he’s thinking—until Ashton suddenly cups the back of his neck and pulls him closer, kissing his lips with even more desperation than the night before. Luke kisses him back just as intensely, and in that little space of time, it felt as if they were one again.

***

It’s kind of strange how perfect the weather is today. The sky is clear, there’s a slight breeze, and the temperature is a warm one since it’s nearing the end of summer, meaning that it isn’t unbearably hot anymore. It’s really nice and the ocean waves are _just right_ , which is why there are so many people surfing them right now.

Luke finds it difficult to appreciate any of it, though.

Given the dark cloud over his heart, he feels as if it should be raining today. The rain pouring down on this tiny town would perfectly reflect how he feels right now, as he and Ashton make their way over to the beach house.

After finally untangling themselves from each other earlier than morning, they decided to stop avoiding reality and reluctantly got out of bed. Luke wasn’t the only one who needed to get back home, so he knew that he couldn’t keep Michael and Calum waiting forever. Thus, he and Ashton had showered together—and they made sure to be quick about it, whereas they’d usually spend _quite_ a bit of time underneath the hot water because of certain distractions. But, since they’d already wasted enough time in bed, they showered quickly and left the little apartment in no time flat.

Walking to the beach house, hand in hand, they’re still not going as fast as they probably should be. That’s okay, though, because they stroll along at a steady pace and talk about some of the things that they hadn’t discussed the night before. It sucks that they don’t have time to properly sit down and have a calm discussion about the new status of their relationship, but it is what it is.

The previous night they had made the rash decision to start a long-distance relationship, and now that they aren’t overwhelmed by a shit ton of emotions, they discuss how they’re going to keep in contact with each other and Luke promises to use his Skype much more often so that they can video chat. He also gives Ashton every single email address that he remembers off the top of his head—not that he really uses them, but you know, just in case.

“And if something ever happens—anything at all—I’ll make sure that Mikey and Cal know to call you as soon as they can,” Luke says, making it sound as if he were going off to war instead of college.

“Alright,” Ashton says, nodding because it’s easier to just agree with what’s being said.

“And like, don’t ever hesitate to call or text me, okay?” Luke goes on. “No matter what reason you have, or even if you don’t have a reason at all. I promise I’ll pick up or text you back as soon as possible, whether it’s three in the morning or three in the afternoon. Okay?”

Ashton giggles a little, shaking his head. “Yeah. Okay, Luke.”

“I’m serious, Ashton,” Luke mumbles.

“I know you are.” Ashton lifts their joined hands to his lips and softly kisses the back of Luke’s, a small smile on his face. “I promise I’ll do all of that. And… the same goes for you, too, alright? Ring me up any time you’d like, even if you just need to rant about a shitty professor or something. I know that uni isn’t all about frat parties and getting wasted, so if you ever need me… I’ll be there for you.”

Luke returns the smile, and he trusts every word. “Okay.”

They continue walking and the dark cloud over Luke’s heart doesn’t brighten up, but he does try to take in the scenery of this place that has been his home for the past two months. He really wishes that they were near the pier right now, because it has a special place in his heart and is definitely his favorite thing about Byron Bay; aside from Ashton, of course. The pier is old and broken and a little creepy, but it’s special because that’s where he and Ashton shared their first kiss. During his stay, they’ve gone back to that pier many times and he wishes that they could do so now, but sadly they cannot.

Luke also wishes that they could visit the beach cave once more. Not just because it’s where he gave Ashton a blowjob for the first time, but like, he became rather fond of it despite its small size. He doesn’t know why he likes it, he just does.

They’ve already walked past the arcade, but it puts a little smile on Luke’s face when he remembers their first visit. Ashton had been so shy and nervous that Michael and Calum wouldn’t accept him, which is so silly because he’s incredibly easy to get along with and very fun to be around. Luke’s tummy still flutters a bit, remembering the look on Ashton’s face when he had won the penguin from that stupid game. Luke is going to take that penguin with him and place it on his new bed, when he finally moves into the apartment that he’ll share with his friends. He doesn’t even care who will see it and thinks it’s childish, because it’s special to him.

Luke looks out over the sea and remembers all of the surfing lessons that Ashton gave him, from the first to the last, and remembers how it had felt to ride his first wave. As much as it had frustrated him at first, he’s really going to miss surfing. Well, he’s going to miss surfing with Ashton, that’s for sure. He’s going to miss surfing and playing in the sand and failing to make sandcastles that don’t look like deformed genitalia; he’s going to miss all of it. He really is lucky to have spent so much time here.

Eventually, he and Ashton come to the foot of the small hill that leads to the beach house. They pause in their tracks, standing there for a few seconds as the realization sinks in even more than it already has.

Luke is leaving, Ashton is staying.

“We could run away, you know,” Ashton suddenly blurts out, turning to face Luke. “Far away. We could go someplace where no one will find us. It doesn’t even have to be near the ocean, either—I’d give up being a lifeguard and we could… live on a farm or something. I have no idea how to milk a cow, but I’d learn. Maybe we could have a few pigs, too?”

Surprised by the weird suggestion, Luke’s reaction is delayed because he doesn’t know whether he should laugh or cry at the half-joke. And it’s definitely only half a joke, since obviously they’re not going to run off and become farmers anytime soon; but, the look in Ashton’s eyes tells him that he’s being serious. Given the chance, Ashton would run away with Luke and leave everything behind just to be with him. That type of reckless thinking only makes it harder for Luke to say goodbye, to be honest.

But, he decides to play along. He plays along because in this moment, they can pretend that running away really is an option for them.

“Or… we could live on a remote island,” Luke casually suggests. “Just the two of us, and we’d still be surrounded by the ocean. We could go harpooning and… and sleep in hammocks, maybe even drink out of coconuts and then wear them as bras.”

Ashton giggles happily, and Luke commits that sound to memory because who knows how long it’ll be before he hears it in person again.

“Two island princes, huh?” Ashton hums as if seriously considering it. “I like the sound of that.”

He gives Luke’s hand a gentle squeeze and they proceed up the hill, approaching the beach house that awaits them.

As expected, Michael and Calum are up and ready to hit the road. When they take in the sight of Luke and Ashton still holding hands and staying as closely as possible to each other, both boys easily draw their own conclusions and decide not to make any comments on it. They know that Luke will give them the details later on, so they merely smile and pretend not to notice that Luke and Ashton are totally smitten.

Luke can see the sympathy in their eyes, though, because they can also tell that he’s obviously hurting. They can tell that Ashton is hurting, too, so they do their best to lighten up the mood like the great friends that they are.

The four of them work together to finish loading the remainder of the luggage into the car, as well as checking around the beach house to make sure that they haven’t forgotten anything. They laugh and make jokes the entire time, just as they naturally would on any other day, and Luke doesn’t think that he’ll ever get over how perfectly Ashton fits in with them. It never feels like it’s Luke, Michael, Calum, and then a fourth guy named Ashton. No, it’s Luke and Michael and Calum and Ashton, four best friends that feel like they’ve been together as a group for much longer than they actually have.

As he watches the other three boys interacting with each other, Luke realizes that he’s not the only one who will miss Ashton terribly. Definitely not the only one, and it becomes clear that Michael and Calum are holding it together for _his_ sake because they love him. Luke almost wants to cry all over again.

When they’ve finished at last, they exit the beach house for the final time and the mood around them is no longer a silly one. It isn’t _despairing_ or anything like that, just a bit gloomy and quiet as they attempt to remain chill about the whole thing.

Michael is the first to break.

“Come with us,” he says to Ashton, latching on to the guy like a stubborn octopus.

Ashton smiles sadly, petting Michael’s hair. “You know that I can’t,” he murmurs.

“Sure you can!” Michael insists. “You can live with us in our apartment, I know that Luke won’t mind sharing a room with you—and I swear that I won’t even get mad when you two have really loud sex at three in the morning. I swear!”

Luke covers his red face with both of his hands, but he decides that he won’t even make a comment on that because now really isn’t the time. So, he walks over to the car and leans back against it, waiting for the others to bid their farewells, first.

“I’m sorry, Mikey,” Ashton chuckles. “If only things could be that simple, y’know?”

Michael lets out a long sigh, but he nods in understanding and gives Ashton a proper hug, muttering that he’ll miss him a lot even though he has bad opinions concerning FIFA. Ashton only laughs again and wishes him good luck on fulfilling his New Year’s resolution. Just before they finally pull away, Michael squeezes him even tighter and attempts to pick him up.

“I’m kidnapping you, now get in the car!”

“Alright, Mikey, time’s up,” Calum interrupts, physically removing the boy’s limbs from Ashton’s waist and pushing him towards the car. “You’ve lost your privileges, now go sit in the car and reflect on what you’ve done.”

Michael mutters obscenities under his breath and walks off with a pout, doing as he’s told for once.

Calum redirects his attention back to Ashton, who is still laughing softly because it’s better to laugh than to cry.

“So, I guess I should say a bunch of sappy shit and all that,” Calum starts, already putting on his typical ‘I’m-too-manly-to-cry’ face. “But, honestly, hanging out with you these past couple of months has been really fucking epic. And yeah, I agree with Mikey about your shitty opinions on FIFA, but other than that, you’re really cool and I wish that you could come with us, too. I mean, you’re the only one who’ll play soccer with me at any time of the day and you’re always up for anything, no matter what it is… oh, and I still think that your spaghetti is almost as godly as my mum’s, so next time we meet you better bring me some or I’ll never forgive you. Ever.”

Ashton nods to all of that with the biggest grin on his face, and because Calum is far too stubborn to just admit it, he decides to be the one to say what they’re both thinking.

“I’ll miss you, too, Cal,” Ashton says.

Calum isn’t too stubborn to be the one who initiates the hug, though. He squeezes Ashton and Ashton squeezes him back just as tightly, but Calum knows that he can’t abduct Ashton so he doesn’t even try to—although he totally wants to. They all want to, because Ashton has turned their trio into a quartet and it’s strange to think that he’ll no longer be with them. At least, not nearly as often as he had been before.

When they finally pull away, Ashton looks him in the eyes and says quietly, “Take care of him for me, yeah?”

Calum glances over his shoulder to where Luke stands against the car before facing Ashton again, a warm smile on his face. “Of course.”

“And… take care of that other one, too,” Ashton giggles, gesturing to the pouting boy in the driver’s seat.

Calum laughs with him. “Well, duh. I’ll probably still be taking care of Mikey when I’m old and gray, so no worries there.”

Ashton doesn’t doubt that. “Lastly, take good care of yourself, too. Okay?”

Calum nods and they share one last hug before he walks over to the car, patting Luke on the shoulder before he gets into the passenger seat to give them some privacy.

Luke feels his pulse quicken as Ashton comes closer to the vehicle, closing the space between them until they’re so close that Luke can smell the honey and coconuts from Ashton’s shampoo. His own hair probably smells like that, too, since he’d used the same shampoo that morning when they showered together. The thought of smelling a little bit like Ashton makes his heart melt, which isn’t good because it already feels as if his heart is breaking into a million pieces, right about now.

“Hi,” Ashton mumbles, and he reaches up to slowly finger through Luke’s currently flat hair.

“Hi,” Luke mumbles in return, automatically leaning into the gentle touch.

Sadly, the hand in his hair comes to a halt. “Or… I guess I should be saying goodbye, in this case?” Ashton says, smiling sadly.

“No,” Luke quickly replies, shaking his head. “Not goodbye. More like… see you later?”

Ashton laughs, but it doesn’t sound happy at all. “Alright, fair enough.”

It still kind of _feels_ like goodbye, though, and Luke hates that. He really does. Maybe the frustration is visible on his face, because Ashton immediately pulls him into a tight hug afterwards. With his nose buried in the crook of Ashton’s neck and his hands fisted into the back of Ashton’s shirt, Luke inhales deeply. He doesn’t remember when Ashton began to feel like home, but it’s so damn obvious now and realizing it doesn’t do anything to ease the pain.

“Don’t party too hard, okay?” Ashton whispers into his ear. “Wouldn’t want your grades going to shit.”

Luke manages to huff out a small laugh. “I can try.”

Ashton pulls back a little but they keep their arms around each other. “And, um… try not to be wooed so soon by someone more interesting than me?”

Luke instantly frowns at those words, a frown that deepens when he sees the insecurity within Ashton’s eyes.

“There’s no one more interesting than you,” he states matter-of-factly, because it _is_ a fact.

“But, I mean… if you meet the right person…”

“Shut up.”

Before Ashton has a chance to utter something even more ridiculous, Luke leans forward and captures his lips, kissing him with the same amount of passion from earlier that morning. Only this time it isn’t out of desperation—he wants to show Ashton with his lips that there isn’t anyone else, there _won’t_ be anyone else that could ever be ‘right’ for Luke. No one else is right for Luke because Luke has decided that Ashton is right for him. His mind’s made up and he will not change it anytime soon.

“I’ve already met the right person,” he whispers against Ashton’s lips, and then he seals those words with another kiss.

That seems to put Ashton’s worries to rest for now, so it’s enough.

“I’m glad that they left you in that hole,” Ashton says. “Otherwise, I might not have ever met you.”

Luke laughs a little louder this time around. “As weird as it sounds, I’m glad for that, too… I love you, Ashton.”

He takes in the slight panic in Ashton’s eyes after he says those last words, and sees the way that Ashton’s mouth opens and closes several times as he fumbles with repeating the phrase back to Luke. But, Luke doesn’t feel hurt by it. Instead he softly shakes his head, bringing a hand up to caress Ashton’s cheek.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I don’t want you to feel as if you _have_ to say it back… I just want you to know that I love you. I really do. I love you and I don’t care how long it takes before you’re ready to say those same words.”

Luke understands that Ashton is still afraid, but even if he isn’t ready to verbally express himself with the use of the word ‘love’, Luke can easily feel how much Ashton cares about him. He _feels_ the love that Ashton has for him, and that’s enough for now, too.

Ashton looks calmer and when he speaks up again, he sounds determined. “You’ve made me really happy, Luke. I’m so fucking happy when I’m with you and I… I really don’t know what you see in me, but… I want us to work out. I wanna make you just as happy, so even though I’m still scared, I swear to god that I’ll do _everything_ to make this work. Whatever it takes.”

The fire within Ashton’s wide eyes gives Luke hope.

“Okay,” he whispers, and he’s starting to feel overwhelmed all over again. “I believe you, Ashton.”

Now it’s Ashton’s turn to lean in and kiss Luke, just as passionately, and Luke allows himself to get lost in the feeling one last time—the feeling of Ashton’s lips against his own, the warmth of Ashton’s arms around him and their chests pressed together, holding on to each other in these final moments. It kind of feels like flying again, only now he’s not alone.

They’ll probably never let go of each other at this rate, and Luke knows that the other two boys are still patiently waiting for him, but it’s so damn _hard_ to muster up the strength to stop kissing Ashton and holding him close. He lacks the willpower to do any of that, so Ashton ends up being the one to pull away at last and he opens the car door for Luke to get in. Ironically enough, when Luke finally has the courage to let go, Ashton keeps ahold of his wrist.

“Wait!” he urges, and Luke watches in confusion as Ashton pulls one of the many bracelets from his wrist and slides it onto Luke’s. “It’s… it’s the first one that I ever made. It’s yours now, so keep it and consider us even.”

To show what he means by that, Ashton reaches up to touch the shark tooth still dangling from the necklace that he wears—the very necklace that Luke made for him, which he only ever takes off right before a shower. The bracelet that he gave Luke is decorated with beads similar to those around the necklace, but instead of a shark tooth, it’s adorned with a few very pretty seashells.

Ashton is smiling at him in a ridiculously adorable way, and can you really blame Luke for rushing forward to kiss the fuck out of him again? In his opinion, it’s a natural reaction to receiving such a sweet gift from his boyfriend. So, he kisses Ashton for the thousandth time that morning because he’ll _never_ get sick of kissing Ashton, never, ever, _ever_.

“I really fucking love you, you know that?” he says, completely out of breath now. He’ll never get tired of uttering those words, either.

Ashton giggles, and his pretty eyes seem to light up with joy. “I know.”

Once Luke has _finally_ gotten into the car, Michael and Calum have shouted goodbye through the window at least fifty more times, and Ashton has repeated it back to them just as loudly, only then do they drive away at last; away from the beach house, down the familiar hill, and along the road that will lead them out of Byron Bay.

Luke continues to stare out of the back window, and if he closes his eyes tightly enough, he can still catch a glimpse of Ashton’s form waving goodbye to them. He tells himself that it’s not really a goodbye, because it definitely isn’t. They’re going to see each other again soon and he doesn’t know _how_ soon, but hopefully soon enough because he misses Ashton already.

They haven’t been gone for more than ten minutes when he receives a text.

**From: Ashton**

(10:23 AM) So is it too soon to start quoting cheesy lyrics to you

Luke’s face splits into a smile so wide that it nearly hurts.

(10:24 AM) _Depends. Is it too soon for me to quote pretentious novels to you?_

(10:25 AM) Have you even read any pretentious novels?

(10:25 AM) _…no, but you make me want to read one so that I can quote from it_

(10:26 AM) Wow. That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me

(10:27 AM) _Heeey :-( no need to be sarcastic_

(10:28 AM) Not being sarcastic, it really is sweet :) ♥

Luke will probably never admit that receiving a heart emoji from his boyfriend nearly made his _own_ heart stop beating. Nope, that would be pathetic.

(10:30 AM) _We’ll be alright, won’t we Ashton?_

It’s not as if Luke is having doubts already. He most certainly isn’t. He simply finds it difficult to believe that any of this is real, because it still feels as if he’s living in a dream for some reason. It’ll probably sink in tomorrow or the day after that and then the _real_ pain will come, but for now, he just needs a bit of reassurance that they’ll be okay.

(10:31 AM) Of course we will. If there’s one thing that I believe in, it’s us for sure

(10:31 AM) _You really mean it?_

(10:32 AM) I do… I’m your Robin, aren’t I?

Luke clutches his phone a little tighter, reading the new message over and over again. With his heart still thumping in his chest and a smile permanently plastered onto his face, he comes to the conclusion that he believes in them, too.

(10:34 AM) _You are :-)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there ya have it, folks. If you feel like it, you're welcome to come back again soon to read the epilogue. It definitely won't be completed next Sunday, but I'll begin working on it as soon as I possibly can, I promise. Thank you for reading this and I love you all. (▰˘◡˘▰)


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alas, the long awaited epilogue has arrived! I deeply apologize for the wait, and I'd like to thank all of you again for being so great and supportive. I won't ramble, though; so I hope that you enjoy it!

* * *

 

Luke is a bit anxious. Just a bit.

He’s currently downing his third, maybe fourth cup of coffee, but it’s for a very important cause, okay. He needs to stay awake if he expects to catch his flight in a few minutes—not that Calum or Michael wouldn’t wake him up if he _did_ fall asleep. It’s just, you know, he’d rather not put too much responsibility into their hands after what happened the last time.

Luke will probably never forgive them for forgetting to wake him up from his nap that day, even though he had told them at least five times beforehand. When he finally did wake up, he basically had to sprint to class in order to make it before the exam started. So, he refuses to let a similar situation occur today.

It would be nice if time could move faster. Staring at the clock on his phone won’t help, but a small part of himself believes otherwise. If Luke had the ability to control time, he’d definitely fast forward this stale moment so that he could see Ashton sooner. Just thinking about it makes him feel like he’s melting, because he’s finally going to see his boyfriend again after what seems like ages.

It’s been four months since summer vacation ended. That’s four months since Luke started university with his two best friends, four months of living in their shared apartment, four months of starting his life as a young adult, and four months that he and Ashton have been in a relationship. Like, an official one. A _real_ relationship, complete with late night phone calls and texting and FaceTiming—oh, and lots of dates via video calls on skype. Definitely can’t forget those, since they are Luke’s favorites.

Technology really is a wonderful thing, especially during those video calls when Ashton will take off his shirt and grin as he slowly drags a hand down his bare chest, and Luke will get the message so he takes off his own shirt, too. Then they would… well, what happens next is self-explanatory.

Pretty soon, they’ll get to do those things in person again. He’ll get to touch Ashton and kiss Ashton and hold Ashton and, fuck, why can’t time move any _faster_ , goddammit.

“Luke?”

The sound of his name being called snaps Luke out of his daze and he glances to his left to find Calum staring at him.

“For a second I thought that you were sleeping with your eyes open, since I’m pretty sure that you haven’t blinked once in the last three minutes,” Calum says, but Luke can hear the underlying worry in his tone.

“I’m fine,” Luke says. He raises the cup to take another sip of coffee but then realizes that it’s empty. He still smiles when he adds, “It’s just… I get to see Ashton today. Like, in person.”

Michael makes an irritable sound around the food in his mouth, but he’s also smiling because he’s very happy for Luke, despite what he says.

“Yeah, we know, you’ve already mentioned it at least a dozen times,” Michael teases.

Luke doesn’t care how many times he’s mentioned that detail, since it’s a very important detail and he can hardly believe that it’s real. This is really going to happen. In a few minutes he’s going to board his flight and reunite with Ashton. It sounds a lot like the many dreams that he has had in the past few months, only this time it isn’t a dream at all.

A sudden thought occurs to Luke and he gasps. “Oh god, what if my flight gets delayed? Then I’ll have to wait even _longer_ to see Ashton…”

“But imagine if it gets cancelled. That’d suck even more,” Michael says, which only adds to Luke’s worries.

Calum kicks Michael underneath the table and ignores the curses muttered at him, instead turning to give Luke a reassuring grin.

“Seriously, Luke, you’re worrying over nothing. I’m sure none of that’ll happen, especially since you’re not even leaving the country.”

Luke supposes that his friend is right, but he lets out a worried sigh regardless. “I guess I’m just nervous because things usually go wrong by now. I just can’t to see him and now that I’m finally about to… it’s kind of overwhelming?”

“Well, finish eating so that you can be ready to board the plane when it’s time, then you won’t have anything to worry about,” Calum says.

Luke glances down at the chips on his plate and quickly comes to the conclusion that he really doesn’t want any. He probably only consumed about three of them, but the anxiousness in his tummy is fighting off the hunger. So, he pushes the plate away and shakes his head.

“Don’t mind if I do!” Michael says, smiling greedily as he reaches forward and takes what’s left of Luke’s food. Calum then reaches over to Michael’s plate and takes his own share, and although Michael frowns since he totally called dibs on Luke’s chips, he doesn’t complain.

“So like,” Calum starts, and he pauses to swallow the food in his mouth. “What do you and Ashton plan on doing together? Aside from fucking each other’s brains out and whatnot.”

Michael snorts obnoxiously and Luke merely rolls his eyes, still too anxious to explain why that last sentence was totally unnecessary.

“I don’t know yet, but I’m sure that we’ll do lots of things,” Luke replies, and it seems like a good enough answer.

In truth, he wouldn’t mind spending most of this trip within the walls of Ashton’s apartment. After what he’d gone through these past few months, between juggling a job and doing schoolwork, being lazy with his boyfriend sounds pretty damn amazing right about now. Of course Luke knows that he won’t have the opportunity to lie around the entire time, since Ashton loves adventure and going out in general, so obviously he’s going to drag Luke along for the ride. Luke wouldn’t mind that, either; he’ll be with Ashton and that’s all that matters.

Michael lets out a sigh of longing. “I wish that I was going back to Byron, too. Not just because I miss Ashton, but like, I also miss the beach house, y’know? Being on top of that hill was kind of like being on top of pride rock, while our apartment is like… that place where Mufasa died. And you two are the wildebeest.”

Luke frowns, deeply offended by the latter statement. “I just gave you the rest of my chips and you call me a wildebeest?”

Michael’s nonchalant shrug isn’t quite the apology that he’d been hoping for.

“First of all, the hill that the beach house sits on is nowhere near as tall as pride rock,” Calum corrects. “Second of all, don’t trash talk our home, especially since I put so much effort into decorating it, unlike you.”

Michael snorts. “You bought a single painting of a naked woman from a dingy little shop downtown, and then hung it on the wall in the hallway. How the hell is that decoration?”

“Fuck off, it’s called having artistic taste,” Calum insists, a subtle pout on his face now.

“No, it’s called wanting to see boobs whenever you walk out of your room.”

“You’re one to talk. I’m pretty sure you glance at them every time that you walk by, you hypocrite.”

“Lies and slander!”

Michael promptly throws a chip in Calum’s direction that hits him right in the cheek, to which Calum responds by whining and throwing a few chips of his own. Even though it doesn’t break out into a total food fight, Luke still has to ask himself why he insists on being friends with these absolute dorks. But, then he picks up an abandoned chip from the middle of the table and punts it at Michael’s forehead just for the hell of it, and he tells himself that it’s the perfect revenge for being called a wildebeest. He really enjoys the surprised shriek that comes out of Michael’s mouth and he laughs so hard that he squeals.

In fact, Luke is so busy preparing himself in case Michael retaliates that he’s taken by surprise from the alarm that goes off on his phone. It takes another second for him to remember what it was for, and then he jumps up from his seat and nearly falls as another wave of excitement washes over him.

“It’s time, it’s time!” Luke exclaims, impatiently bouncing on the balls of his feet.

To his horror, Michael and Calum don’t make any immediate movements. They simply continue to sit there, finishing up the last remaining chips and slurping loudly from their drinks, disregarding the urgency of the situation at hand. It’s not until Luke begins to whine that they pay attention to him again.

“Chill out, you’ve still got time before you even have to board,” Michael casually says, and it only makes Luke panic even more.

“But I still need to get through security and who knows how long that’ll take! What if I miss my flight?”

“Okay, okay, don’t give yourself a heart attack. I promise you’re not gonna miss your flight,” Calum laughs. He then stands up from his seat, but not without nudging Michael to do the same. “C’mon, we’ll walk over there with you.”

A moment later they finally start to get somewhere, and Luke makes it over to security in no time at all. Luckily the lines aren’t hellishly long and they seem to be moving at a nice pace, so Luke is temporarily able to breathe again. Just temporarily, because when he turns around to face his friends again, he’s reminded that this is as far as they can go—which basically means that it’s time to say goodbye.

“Is it weird that I’m gonna miss you guys even though I’ll only be gone for a week?” he says, and it’s more of a confession than a question.

Both of their expressions soften and Michael is smiling when he replies, “Of course not. We’re awesome like that.”

Luke returns the smile and it’s obvious that they’ll miss him just as much. He quickly leans forward and wraps his arms around both of them, pulling them into a group hug. Of course neither of them resist, even though they probably look really sappy right now and people might be staring. But, it’s an airport and people always hug in airports, so who really cares.

Also, Luke suddenly realizes it’s the first time in months that he’ll be away from Michael and Calum for more than just a few hours. Somehow living together in their little apartment has brought them even closer, which is rather amusing since Luke used to think that they were as close as can be. But as time goes on and they continue to face life’s challenges together, it really feels as if the three of them will never truly be separated. Luke sincerely believes that it’ll remain that way, too.

When they finally break the group hug, Calum gives him a reassuring thumbs-up.

“Like you said, it’ll only be for a week. Besides, I’m sure that you’ll forget all about us from the moment that you see Ashton and the two of you start playing tonsil hockey,” Calum teases, and he sticks out his tongue.

“That’s… not _completely_ true,” Luke argues, albeit weakly. It’s true, he knows that it’s true, so there’s really no point in denying it.

“I bet that he won’t pick up his phone for the entire week,” Michael pretends to whisper into Calum’s ear.

Luke finds himself laughing a little because that statement is even truer than the previous one. Despite how attached he is to his phone, who knows what he and Ashton will get up to during the next week. He can’t really help it if he’s ‘busy’ most of the time, but he’ll be busy spending time with his boyfriend so it’s definitely a valid excuse.

As the line begins to move again, they quickly utter their final goodbyes.

“Tell Ashton that he better get his ass to Sydney soon, I’m still waiting for him to fulfill our promise,” Calum says.

“Oh! I have a message for Ashton, too!” Michael cuts in, and when he speaks again his voice is deep as if imitating someone. “ _‘Love is the bane of honor, the death of duty’_.”

Obviously Luke inquires as to why he would say such a random thing like that.

“Just tell him those exact words,” Michael insists with a wide grin. “He’ll understand the reference.”

“Um… if you say so.” Before they leave for good, Luke gives them one last hug just because he can. When he can no longer see their retreating backs, he knows that he’ll definitely miss them but that’s okay. He isn’t so afraid of being on his own anymore, even if it’s just for a couple of hours. Yeah, he really has done a lot of growing up over the past six months.

Sometime later, Luke is sitting in his seat with about a million butterflies in his tummy. It’s true that he’s both excited and nervous about seeing Ashton again, but what’s occupying his nerves now is that this will be the second time he’s ever been on a plane. The first time was so many years ago that he has nearly forgotten what it’s like, so yeah, he’s obviously starting to feel a bit panicky now.

Instead of allowing himself to freak out over a short plane ride, Luke directs his thoughts to what’s awaiting him on the other side; or rather, _who_ is waiting for him. He shuts his eyes and imagines what it’ll finally feel like to hold his boyfriend in his arms again, imagines how warm Ashton will be. He pictures that radiating smile and those adorable dimples that never fail to greet him, and how he gets to see them in person again. Not through a computer screen, not through the screen on his phone, but _in person_. Just like it used to be so long ago, but not that long at all.

Luke can hardly wait.

***

Approximately two and a half hours later, Luke finds himself in another airport. This one is significantly smaller and less crowded, but it’s a little harder to breathe now and every step that he takes makes his heart beat even faster. It’s almost like a time bomb waiting to go off and he knows that it’ll happen soon, he just doesn’t know exactly _when_ and he’s itching to find out because it’s driving him crazy. At the same time, it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

Luke maneuvers around the small crowd of people that block his path as they engage in lively conversations or meet up with loved ones, which is totally understandable since he’s about to do the exact same thing. He’s got a tight grip on his lightweight luggage while he chews on the fingernails of his other hand, simply because nervously chewing on his lip was starting to become painful. As his eyes frantically dart around the wide room, searching for that familiar face that he has been waiting to see, Luke’s thoughts become irrational when he doesn’t immediately find who he’s looking for.

Had he taken the wrong flight? Is that even possible? Maybe he’s at the wrong airport or mixed up the arrival time when he had texted Ashton earlier that morning, because that’s totally something that he would do. Yup.

But, then Luke scans the room once more and when his eyes lock with two big hazel eyes that he’ll always be able to recognize, the bomb inside of him goes off and his feet begin to carry him towards the very person that makes him feel this way. Ashton is already moving closer to meet him half way, and although Luke always thinks this, he swears that this time Ashton’s smile really is the widest that it’s ever been.

By now they’re close enough for Luke to hear his name when Ashton says it, and it sends shivers down his spine, making him move faster and he doesn’t even care if he accidentally bumps into someone. The rest of the world is mere background noise. Ashton is all that he focuses on now, Ashton is all that he can see. The only thing missing for this moment to be perfect is inspiring music and slow motion effects.

Consequently, just before they’re able to embrace each other, something causes Luke to jerk forward and lose his balance, and suddenly he’s falling down as the marble tiling comes up to meet his face and probably send him into a coma.

Two seconds later, Luke still hasn’t crashed into the floor yet and somehow he’s still conscious, so he opens his eyes and stares up into the wide pair above him.

“Shit—are you okay?” Ashton asks, and it takes another second for Luke to notice that Ashton is holding him up. In other words, Ashton stopped him from falling to the floor and breaking his skull open.

“Yeah, I… I’m fine,” Luke mumbles as he regains his balance. He should probably feel embarrassed or even humiliated, since he can feel the many eyes staring at him from nearby. But who cares about those people, it’s not as if he’ll ever see them again, anyway.

“So did you forget how to tie your shoes or something?” Ashton teases with a smirk, and sure enough, when Luke glances down he sees that the shoelaces of his converse are untied. They definitely weren’t like that before, but he supposes that it’s no use to try and explain himself.

Instead, he smiles again and is filled with all sorts of wonderful feelings when Ashton smiles back.

It’s a good thing that Ashton has enough balance for the both of them, since Luke practically throws himself at the guy. Ashton squeezes him back with just as much enthusiasm, though, and Luke is suddenly overcome with so much joy that he can hardly contain it, so he doesn’t even attempt to.

“I missed you, I missed you, _I missed you_ ,” he whispers repeatedly.

“I missed you, too,” Ashton whispers back. “Missed you so fucking much, you have no idea…”

Luke temporarily stops nuzzling against the side of Ashton’s head in order to pull back a little and look into his eyes again. What he finds behind those hazel eyes is complete honesty, along with an abundance of happiness, longing, and _love_. There’s so much love that Luke is easily able to feel because that love is all for him. Every single bit of it.

Without wasting another second, he does what they’ve both been yearning to do from the very moment that they parted ways. Luke kisses Ashton deeply, savoring the taste of his lips and reveling in the feeling of having them pressed against his own again. Ashton’s arms squeeze around his waist to pull him closer, impossibly closer, and right now they probably look like a sappy couple straight out of a Hollywood film, but neither of them care about whatever attention that they might be drawing to themselves.

In fact, his inability to care about what others think is exactly what causes Luke to move his arms lower, securing a tight grip around Ashton and lifting him up from the floor to spin him around a little. Ashton squeals in surprise when his feet are no longer touching the ground, but then he starts to giggle and Luke falls in love all over again.

They kiss a second time when he sets Ashton back down and it’s a bit more heated than the previous one, complete with small pecks in between the passionate lip locking. It’s just as good, though. Especially when Ashton’s tongue brushes up against his and Luke realizes that he’s going to be reacquainted with that tongue _a lot_ in the next few days, so that’s definitely something to look forward to.

Eventually they have to break apart to breathe again, so Luke takes in the redness along Ashton’s cheeks and the gleam in those beautiful bright eyes, and he wonders how he got so lucky. Well, he’ll just have to thank Michael for leaving him buried in the sand on that fateful day.

Suddenly Luke is reminded of the messages that his friends had left with him.

“Oh, before I forget, Cal told me to tell you that you have to visit Sydney soon,” Luke says, and he briefly forgets what he’s supposed to say next when Ashton smiles at those words. “And, um… oh, right—Mikey wanted me to give you a message, too. Something about love being the bane of honor and the… death of duty? I think. He said you’d understand the reference.”

From the way that Ashton stares at him, brows furrowed in confusion, it’s quite clear that Ashton doesn’t understand a single word that was uttered. That’s when Luke finally processes that Michael was probably just fucking around, so he lets out an annoyed sigh and shakes his head.

“Nevermind, forget all of that.” Talking can wait, they should be kissing again, so Luke does exactly that. He peppers little kisses all around Ashton’s face, making him giggle again, which may or may not have been Luke’s intention. “Did I mention that I really missed you?”

“You may have mentioned that once or twice,” Ashton replies, still giggling a bit. He seems different somehow, and Luke can’t quite pinpoint what that difference is. He knows that Ashton got a haircut a few weeks back, since Ashton had sent him a selfie. But the defiant curls are already taking over again, covering most of his forehead. Other than that, he looks the same; the usual band t-shirt, a red and black flannel tied around his hips, and a pair of black skinny jeans. Perfect as always, basically.

Still, something is different and Luke doesn’t know what, but he does know that Ashton looks happier than he has ever looked before. He’s practically glowing with happiness and that is what’s most important, so Luke pushes all other thoughts to the side.

“Guess what?” he murmurs.

“Hmm… you missed me?” Ashton guesses, and he grins teasingly.

“Yeah,” Luke chuckles, “but I also missed being with you in Byron. It’s so much different from Sydney; different sounds, different smells, and the overall feel of it is so unique… I really missed it.”

Ashton’s grin softens and he takes both of Luke’s hands into his own, giving them a light squeeze. That gesture alone tells him that Ashton _gets it_ , which is a relief because Luke doesn’t think that there are words to accurately explain what he’s feeling right now. He just knows that he had missed this place and everything that came along with it—Ashton being at the very top of that list, obviously.

“Let’s go home, then,” Ashton proposes. “We’ve got a fun week ahead of us, yeah?”

Luke quickly nods, and his stomach may or may not have flopped dramatically from the mention of going _home_ , as in _their_ home, because Ashton totally just implied that. He basically referred to his apartment as their home, whether he meant to or not, and it makes Luke feel all sorts of good things. He can already tell that this is going to be the greatest week that he’s had in ages.

Upon finally exiting the airport, Ashton leads him over to a small silver car, rather old if the model is anything to go by.

“You have a car?” Luke asks, astonished.

Ashton chuckles softly and shakes his head. “Borrowing it from a friend.”

He takes the luggage from Luke’s hands and puts it in the backseat. He then moves towards the passenger door and opens it, gesturing for Luke to get in. Luke almost starts to say that he could easily open a car door by himself, but he simply rolls his eyes and plops down in the seat. In truth, he really likes it when Ashton does things like this. He likes the special treatment that his boyfriend gives him and he likes that Ashton cares.

A minute later they’re cruising down the road and Luke is gazing out of the window, taking in the scenery that they pass along the way. Technically they’re not in Byron at the moment, since the closest airport to the small town is located in Ballina. But the distance between both places is a mere thirty minutes, so Luke knows that they’ll arrive at their destination soon enough. In fact, the scenery is already beginning to look familiar to him.

It really takes Luke back to the summer months that had started as relaxation, but ultimately changed his life in the end. The temperature isn’t as hot as it was before, but it’s still quite warm and the ocean waves continue to crash against the shoreline just as gracefully as he remembers. He gets the sudden urge to run down to the water and surf those waves, although he knows that his surfing skills are probably really shitty now. Oh well, Ashton will just have to teach him again. A whole lot can be done in seven days if they try hard enough.

“Luke?”

Hearing his name called grabs his attention, so Luke stops staring out of the window and turns his head to face Ashton. There’s a small grin playing on his lips and he glances at Luke before returning his gaze to the road.

“What do you say we hit the waves tomorrow morning? Y’know, just to start the week off with a bang?” Ashton suggests.

Luke smiles to himself because of course Ashton would be thinking the same thing.

“Okay, but don’t be surprised when I suck at it. It’s been four months since I’ve even touched a surfboard,” Luke says.

“Aw, don’t be so pessimistic about it,” Ashton giggles. “You’re just a bit rusty, is all. As soon as you get the hang of it you’ll be surfing like a pro again! Remember, it’s almost like having sex, right?”

Luke snorts. “Yeah, well, technically I haven’t done that in four months either, so.”

Ashton’s laugh is much louder this time around, and Luke laughs along because he just can’t help it.

“Well hey, you’re not the only one,” Ashton says, and a smirk begins to spread on his face. “ _But_ … I’m sure that’ll change soon.”

Ashton gives him an exaggerated wink and it’s kind of ridiculous, but Luke blushes anyway. As much as he enjoyed the amount of webcam and phone sex that they’d been having for the past few months, there’s nothing that he wouldn’t give to be able to put his hands all over Ashton’s body again. He knows that Ashton feels the same way, especially since Ashton would tell him that every single time that they talked to each other. Luke never failed to hear the desire behind Ashton’s tone whenever his boyfriend told him that he missed him, yearned to touch and kiss him again, and how he wished that Luke was lying in bed beside him—especially during those nights where they found it hard to sleep alone.

It wasn’t easy being apart from each other. Relationships are hardly ever easy, especially those that are long-distance. Luke admits that there were times where he felt guilty about asking Ashton to be his boyfriend, when he knew that he wouldn’t even be there to hold Ashton when he needed to be held. Luke felt selfish for keeping Ashton all to himself when there were other people out there that could probably make Ashton happier, people who would never leave him behind and expect him to wait for their return, even though it wouldn’t be permanent. He felt guilty for falling in love with Ashton.

The guilt combined with Luke’s insecurities began to put a strain on their relationship and things were a bit rough for a couple of weeks, until one night Ashton begged to know what he did wrong because he’d begun to assume that Luke didn’t love him anymore. As outrageous as that assumption was, Luke had to remind himself that he wasn’t the only one dealing with the hardships of a long-distance relationship. He also had to remember that this whole thing must’ve been even scarier for Ashton than it was for him, given Ashton’s past experiences.

So, Luke finally stopped being an idiot and told Ashton about everything that had been bugging him lately, from how difficult it was for him to get used to university to the guilt that constantly prodded at his chest. As it turns out, Ashton had felt guilty about the exact same thing, since he figured that university was a time to try all sorts of new things but he was keeping Luke from doing that.

Neither of them wanted to give up, though. No matter how difficult it was. So they ended up talking to each other that entire night, only falling asleep at sunrise.

Luke was surprised when he’d woken up to find that neither of them had ended the call, and he could hear Ashton’s light snoring on the other side of the line. Then he’d laughed so hard that he accidentally woke Ashton up from his slumber. Ashton’s groggy voice when he’d muttered good morning is what made Luke decide that there’s no one else he’d rather be with, not that he hadn’t been sure of it before. But that definitely confirmed it.

Now, as Luke stares at the side of his boyfriend’s face, the wonderful feeling that he had all those weeks ago is stronger than ever. There really isn’t anyone else that he’d rather be with in this moment.

He notices the small frown on Ashton’s face now and that makes him frown, too.

“What’s wrong?” Luke asks, and Ashton glances at him twice before paying attention to the road again.

“It’s just… I really want to kiss you again but I also don’t want us to crash, y’know? So it’s a struggle,” Ashton grumbles.

This time Luke is the one to laugh aloud, because Ashton is a total dork. But he’s Luke’s dork, and that’s what matters most.

“I admire your willpower,” Luke says, still grinning. Just to show his appreciation, he leans over and softly kisses Ashton’s cheek. “Better?”

Ashton hums in consideration before shrugging. “A little.”

Luke anticipated such an answer, so he leans back over and kisses Ashton’s neck this time, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds. He can feel the way that Ashton’s pulse quickens and it makes him smile, knowing that he can still elicit that type of reaction even months later.

“How about that?” Luke whispers.

Ashton swallows before nodding stiffly. “That’s, um, satisfactory. Yeah.”

Luke never settles for ‘satisfactory’. He can do much better than that, so he begins to press open-mouthed kisses at the base of Ashton’s neck, taking advantage of the fact that he knows it’s Ashton’s most sensitive area. It doesn’t take long at all before Ashton is breathing a little heavier and gripping the steering wheel tighter than he needs to.

Luke takes it a step further when he places a hand on Ashton’s thigh and gives it a firm squeeze, before slowly sliding up towards his crotch area. Ashton still doesn’t say anything, so Luke continues greedily mouthing at his neck and moves the hand to palm him through his jeans. Ashton reacts with a sharp hiss and Luke knows why. He’s already pretty hard down there from everything that Luke is doing to him.

That excites Luke even more but just as he begins to suck a bruise into Ashton’s skin, Ashton gently pushes him away.

“Jesus Christ, Luke,” Ashton huffs, laughing after he says it. But his entire face has gone red and it looks as if he can barely hold it together. “Now _you’re_ the one who’s going to make us crash. Stop that.”

Deciding not to argue, Luke obediently leans back in his seat and folds his arms across his chest, pouting like a child.

“Are we almost there yet? I’m horny,” he grumbles.

Ashton snorts. “I can tell. But we’ll be there soon, probably ten minutes at most. See, we’ve just passed the Byron Bay sign.”

Ten minutes feels more like ten years, but Luke doesn’t complain any further. He briefly wonders what Ashton would say if he suggested that they pull over to the side of the road and fuck in the backseat. He’s pretty sure that he’d be able to get Ashton to say yes, especially since he knows how hard Ashton is right now. But Luke decides not to suggest such a thing, given the fact that a police car drove by them about five minutes ago. So, it’s best not to risk it.

Besides, he has already waited four months to be able to touch Ashton again. Ten minutes more shouldn’t be _that_ bad.

***

The real nostalgia comes the moment that Luke steps foot in Ashton’s apartment.

After kicking his shoes off and setting them beside Ashton’s, he looks up to take in his surroundings. Everything is exactly how he remembers it; from the picture on the wall and the furniture in the living/dining room, to the drum kit nestled in that same corner. None of it has changed. When Luke closes his eyes and inhales deeply, he notices that it smells exactly the same as before, too. It’s a happy scent that he’d become accustomed to all those months ago, and it brings back so many memories. It smells like home, but even more so, it smells like _Ashton_. They’re basically synonymous with each other by now, though.

Luke will never get tired of the timeless effect that is permanently cast over this place, as well as Byron Bay in general.

Ashton clears his throat all of a sudden, bringing Luke back from his thoughts.

“So, uh… would you like some tea? Maybe get settled in while I make lunch?”

Instead of considering the offer, Luke observes the way that Ashton is fidgeting a little as he stands there, just like he always does when he gets excited. Another thing that Luke notices is Ashton repeatedly licking his lips for no real reason at all, and how he keeps glancing down at Luke’s lips while he (rather impatiently) waits for an answer. Most of all, Luke can see the overwhelming desire in his eyes, because obviously he doesn’t actually _want_ to make tea. There’s something else that Ashton would much rather be doing at the moment and it’s quite plain to see, especially since Luke feels the same way.

So why bother with formalities?

“I’m fine for now, but thank you,” Luke answers, and he bites his lip suggestively before saying, “Actually, I was kind of hoping that we could finish what we started before…?”

It doesn’t take a genius to understand what Luke means by that, and since Ashton’s eyes widen and he begins to smirk, it’s obvious that he _totally_ gets what’s being implied here. No doubt about it.

There are three seconds that pass by in which everything seems to happen all at once. The first second, Luke tosses his luggage to the side. A second later, Ashton takes a step towards him. The third second comes and Luke meets him in the middle, eagerly connecting their lips in a desperate kiss while his hands fumble at Ashton’s clothing. Somehow his fingers quickly manage to undo the knot of the flannel tied around Ashton’s hips, and it drops to the floor where the rest of their clothes will end up very soon.

Ashton is already making great progress at removing Luke’s clothes, too. After struggling to undo the button of Luke’s skinny jeans, he growls and decides to work on Luke’s upper body instead. The second that Ashton’s warm fingers come in contact with the skin beneath his shirt, Luke whimpers almost pathetically because, well, four months is a _very_ long time, okay. He has a liable reason to react intensely to every single touch that he receives.

Ashton is roughly tugging at the hem of his shirt, so Luke assumes that he wants to remove it. Unfortunately they have to break the deep kiss in order to do that, but as soon as the piece of clothing has been pulled over Luke’s head and dropped to the floor, he instantly dives back in and captures Ashton’s lips again. Ashton seems to agree with this course of action, since now he’s sucking on Luke’s tongue so thoroughly that Luke temporarily loses the ability to even move. All that he can do is stand there and let himself be consumed by the feeling, until Ashton pauses because oxygen is still a necessity.

“I… I missed this a lot, too,” Luke whispers against his lips, and Ashton smiles.

Since Ashton is still fully clothed, Luke takes this opportunity to remove his shirt for him and toss it elsewhere. However, just as Luke is about to resume their passionate kiss, Ashton puts a hand to his chest and stops him.

“What’s this?” he asks, using a finger on his other hand to curiously point to the tiny piece of metal going through Luke’s right nipple. He must’ve just now noticed the piercing, which is kind of funny since Luke nearly forgot that it was there. “When did you…?” Ashton’s voice trails off and he glances back up into Luke’s eyes, his own wide and full of excitement.

“Um… almost three weeks ago, I think,” Luke mumbles. “Surprise?”

He’s feeling bashful all of a sudden, which can’t really be helped; Ashton is staring at his nipple again as if the barbell were made of gold instead of metal. It’s exactly the kind of reaction that Luke had been hoping for, though. As a matter of fact, one of the main reasons that he got this particular piercing was because he knew that Ashton thought nipple piercings were sexy. Although Luke didn’t appreciate the pain that came with getting one, he figured that it would be a nice surprise for his boyfriend.

Evidently, he was correct.

“Does it still hurt?” Ashton asks. His finger is hovering over the pierced nipple because he definitely wants to play with it, but isn’t sure if he’s allowed to.

“Not much… I think it should be okay, so long as you’re gentle with it,” Luke says.

Ashton’s curious gaze turns into a look of determination, and before Luke knows it he’s being backed into the wall until he’s pressed flat against it. Ashton reaches up and very gently pinches the nipple between his index finger and thumb, immediately eliciting a sharp gasp from Luke. Luke hadn’t messed with the nipple before because he knew that he wasn’t supposed to, since it needed time to heal. Never did he imagine that it would be this sensitive, and just that little bit of contact is intense enough to make him squirm.

“Is this okay?” Ashton squeezes the bud between his fingers again, applying just a bit more pressure this time. Luke whimpers from the contact and slowly nods his head, unconsciously leaning into Ashton’s touch.

Ashton gives the sensitive nipple one last squeeze before leaning down and replacing his fingers with his mouth, carefully clamping down over it as he begins flicking the piece of metal with the tip of his tongue. Luke’s quiet moans amplify as soon as Ashton begins to suck on the nipple, lightly at first so that he doesn’t hurt Luke, but gradually getting rougher as each second passes by. The sensation quickly becomes too much to handle and Luke starts to get overwhelmed, his oversensitive nipple unable to handle so much stimulation to the point where it’s almost uncomfortable. So he nudges at Ashton’s shoulders and Ashton immediately pulls off, a rather sly smirk on his face.

Such a tease. Luke will just have to get revenge, then.

He twists them around and presses Ashton against the wall, effectively switching their positions. Luke knows every single one of Ashton’s pleasure points and weaknesses, so he instantly goes for the neck, pressing kisses where he knows it’ll be most ticklish. As expected, Ashton starts uncontrollably giggling and squirming until Luke reaches that spot just below his ear, and then he lets out a soft moan.

“Oh my god,” Ashton gasps suddenly. “We should… we should fuck against the wall.”

Luke chuckles into his neck, imagining how that would possibly work out. Who knows, maybe it could. Ashton’s the expert here, so he’d know what to do as well as _how_ to go about doing it.

“Or maybe the kitchen counter would be easier?” Ashton says, and now it sounds as if he’s actually considering every possible option. “There’s also the table, though… I’m sure it’s sturdy enough, and it’s wider than the kitchen counters.”

Luke leans back up to look at him again and the contemplative expression on Ashton’s face is more amusing than it should be.

“Are you seriously making a list of all the places that we could have sex?” he asks, and Ashton gives a nonchalant shrug.

“Nothing wrong with keeping a mental checklist. What if I forget something and we never get to try it before you leave?”

A subtle frown sets in on Ashton’s face upon remembering that Luke will inevitably leave again, so Luke quickly kisses it away. Now that he’s here, he refuses to see a single frown on his boyfriend’s face and he’s going to do whatever he can to keep Ashton smiling. That’s basically all that Luke can do for the next seven days, so he’s going to make each second count.

“We have an entire week, remember? I’m sure that’s enough time to do whatever you’d like,” Luke murmurs, and it fills him with relief when Ashton’s beautiful smile returns.

Right. Each second must be cherished. But Luke is still feeling incredibly desperate and he just wants to _fuck_ , for god’s sake. From the way that Ashton is starting to grind his hips forward in order to get some kind of friction, Luke can tell that the burning desire is mutual. They need to speed things up and they need to do it now, so he takes Ashton’s hand and leads him from the hallway.

They only manage to make it to the couch. That’s about twelve to fifteen feet from their previous position against the wall but, hey, it still counts as progress.

Ashton pushes Luke onto the couch and quickly straddles his hips afterwards, not being gentle in the slightest when he leans down and begins sucking a bruise into Luke’s collarbone. _Bliss_ is the only word that comes close to describing what Luke is feeling right now, and he loses himself in the wonderful heat of Ashton’s tongue as it trails down his bare chest.

“I missed this so much,” Luke sighs, although he has probably repeated those words at least a dozen times by now.

It’s the absolute truth, though. After being with Ashton every single day for so many weeks, it was extremely difficult to get used to living in a world where Ashton wasn’t physically there. It wasn’t like the first week of summer vacation where all that they did was text each other, since Luke hadn’t been deeply in love with Ashton back then. He hadn’t known Ashton the way that he knows him _now_ , so that measly week was nothing compared to four months of not being able to touch or be touched by his boyfriend.

Luke slides his hands along Ashton’s sides, going lower and lower until he reaches the back of Ashton’s jeans. Once there, Luke squeezes his ass with both hands, just tight enough to make Ashton moan and push back into his grip.

“I _really_ missed this,” Luke says, grinning as he fondles Ashton’s cheeks.

Ashton laughs and shifts back up into a sitting position, a warm smile on his face.

“Okay. What other part of me did you miss?”

Luke hums for a short moment before settling on an answer. “Your hands. Specifically your fingers.”

Ashton tilts his head to the side in wonder. “Yeah? What about my fingers?”

Luke supposes that he has two options; he can go for the simple route by saying that he loves _everything_ about Ashton’s fingers, since it’s obviously true. Or, he could try and put into words the very thoughts that are going through his mind right now, because they hold even more truth than the first answer.

Well, he’s been very honest up to this point, so why not?

“I missed having them all over me, missed how warm they felt against my skin,” Luke quietly confesses, suddenly too shy to look Ashton directly in the eyes as he speaks. “But… I also missed having them inside of me, too. I liked how it felt to be stretched open by your long fingers.”

Ashton visibly gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in his throat when Luke says those last words. The amount of honesty that was displayed must’ve come as a surprise to him, since he doesn’t appear to have any comments on what was said. That sparks Luke’s curiosity so he goes on.

“I also missed your mouth. Like, I missed kissing you and feeling your lips against mine, but most of all I missed your tongue… I missed the feeling of your tongue wrapped around the head of my dick, and how you would swallow me down all at once but never choke because you knew what you were doing. You're really good with your mouth, Ashton.”

By now Ashton has started to squirm a little, obviously turned on by everything that Luke is saying, so Luke doesn’t stop.

“Of course I missed your dick, too. I missed how hard it felt in my hands and in my mouth—and when you fucked me the night before I left, you just felt so big inside of me, so big and good and—”

“Fuck, okay, just… _fuck_ ,” Ashton curses, cutting Luke off before he goes insane. He runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a shaky breath, though it does nothing to calm his excitement. When Ashton speaks again, his eyes are blown wide and he sounds truly desperate. “Let me ride you. I wanna ride you, is that okay? Would you want that?”

How fast Luke is able to react to that is almost uncanny. He rapidly nods his head since words don’t come as quickly, and not even a second later Ashton unstraddles him to try removing his jeans again. All that’s going through Luke’s mind at the moment is that pretty soon he’ll actually be inside of Ashton. For the very first time he’s going to feel what it’s like to be inside of someone, because they trust him enough to let him do that. Being given such a privilege makes Luke feel a bit tingly inside, although that might also be from arousal.

Ashton wrestles with the skinny jeans as he attempts to pull them down Luke’s legs, grumbling about how Luke should’ve worn sweatpants or something because they’re much more convenient (nevermind the fact that Ashton is also wearing skinny jeans, so he definitely has no room to complain). Luke laughs at his boyfriend’s struggles but decides to be helpful by finishing the job himself. Ashton gets to work on his own jeans to make the process go faster.

As he lies back down on the couch cushions, Luke’s mind thinks ahead to two very important necessities that they’ll need really soon, but a quick glance at their surroundings reveals that those necessities are nowhere in sight.

“Where’s the lube?” he asks just as Ashton straddles him again.

“Bedroom,” Ashton says, but makes no move to go and retrieve said lube.

“Well… let’s go there, then,” Luke proposes.

Ashton makes the most dramatic whining sound upon hearing that. “But that’s so far away…”

Luke rolls his eyes. “Ash, it’s literally just a few feet. I mean, what other option is there? Do it without?”

It was obviously a rhetorical question, but Ashton nods with the most serious expression on his face.

“Exactly. I can take it, I’m tough and I’ve done it before.”

“No,” Luke says, denying him at once. “I’m not letting you hurt yourself when we can easily avoid that.”

Since it looks as if Ashton will argue again, Luke takes matters into his own hands. He sits up and plants both feet on the floor, then makes sure that Ashton is holding onto him before standing up from the couch. Ashton gasps in surprise and tightens his legs around Luke’s waist so that he doesn’t fall as the younger boy begins carrying him towards the bedroom.

“ _Lucas_ ,” Ashton whines again, slightly annoyed now.

“I know, I promise I won’t let you fall,” Luke chuckles.

Ashton dramatically sighs and nuzzles into his neck, mumbling that since Luke enjoys picking him up so much, he should start carrying him everywhere like a noble servant. Luke merely laughs at the teasing and holds Ashton just a bit closer.

Once they’re in the bedroom and they’ve finally got what they needed, Luke’s heart begins to race because he knows that the _real_ fun is about to start. He takes in the sight of Ashton’s fully naked body before him; the beautifully tanned skin over his toned abs and the thin happy trail that leads down to his hardened cock. Luke wants nothing more than to reach out and grasp it, then stroke it to relieve some of the pressure that he knows must be driving Ashton crazy right now. But he also wants to take the time to kiss every inch of Ashton’s body first, an attempt to make up for all the months that he was unable to do that.

Luke wants to do so many things and he has no idea where to start first, but then Ashton straddles his hips again and takes charge. His own cock twitches when it’s pressed up against Ashton’s ass and he instinctively begins to rub up against it, until Ashton giggles and sits up a little, reaching for the lube lying next to them. Luke watches in slight confusion as Ashton spreads the lube on his own fingers before reaching behind himself, where he presses the two fingers against his hole.

Apparently Ashton is going to prep himself, even though Luke would be honored to do the job for him. After all, being able to use his fingers in _that_ way to make Ashton feel good became a fantasy of Luke’s a long time ago, and he wonders if he’d be able to make it feel as amazing as Ashton’s fingers had felt inside of him. Luke would definitely need to be guided, though, which would take some time—and since they’re both so desperate to feel each other right now, taking it slow wouldn’t be a favorable option. Well, Luke is perfectly okay with that. They have an entire week at their disposal, so he doesn’t doubt that he’ll eventually get the chance to finger Ashton until he comes.

Ashton begins to press both fingers into himself at once, which seems a bit outrageous in Luke’s experience. But he knows that Ashton is well-aware of his own limits, so Luke silently observes with wide eyes as Ashton slowly sinks back into his fingers, his brows furrowed in concentration while his body tries to accommodate the long digits.

Since Luke always wants to be a good helper—and because simply observing was starting to be torturous—he leans up and latches on to one of Ashton’s nipples, roughly sucking it between his teeth without remorse. Ashton cries out in a way that Luke has never heard before, so he takes that as his cue to go even further. One of his hands come up to play with the other nipple while his other hand reaches between them and firmly grasps Ashton’s cock, then he begins stroking it in time with Ashton’s fingers. The different areas being stimulated all at once must be an incredible feeling, since Ashton repeatedly curses and slowly becomes an incoherent mess.

Luke twists his fist in a way that he knows Ashton likes, and Ashton thrusts forward in a desperate attempt to chase that feeling. But Luke keeps his hand moving at the same pace as he mainly focuses on teasing Ashton’s nipples. He circles the pink bud with his tongue, lathering it in saliva and enjoying the sounds that the action elicits from his boyfriend. Ashton’s nipples are definitely Luke’s favorite things to play with, especially considering how sensitive they are. He hums with delight as he gently bites down on it, but before he gets a chance to tease the other nipple with his mouth, Ashton suddenly pushes him off.

“O-Okay… enough.” Ashton huffs out a laugh as he struggles to catch his breath. He’s sweating almost profusely and the amount of precome leaking from his cock means that he’s already so close. “Fuck, you’re gonna… gonna make me come before I even get to fuck you.”

“Oops… sorry?” Luke says, grinning cheekily. He decides to stop being ‘helpful’, since he’d much rather have Ashton come while he’s inside of him. As of right now, that is Luke’s number one priority.

So, he lies down flat again and goes back to being a mere spectator as Ashton stretches himself open. It’s even more torturous to watch now, especially when Ashton slowly eases in a third finger and starts fucking himself faster. Luke instantly begins whining and he’s so desperate to touch Ashton, to be inside of him, to do _something_ other than lie there helplessly. It’s automatic when his hands come up on either side of Ashton’s quivering thighs and he gently strokes them, just wanting to put his hands on Ashton in some way. It still isn’t enough, though.

“C’mon, Ash,” Luke shamelessly whines, because he literally feels like he’s going crazy from having to watch Ashton’s fingers go in and out of him, but not being able to do anything about it. “Can we do it now? I want—I need to be inside of you… please?”

Ashton gazes down at him but says nothing, which is kind of infuriating. When his mouth slowly quirks up into a smirk, it’s plain to see that he’s teasing Luke on purpose. In fact, as Luke stares up into Ashton’s dilated pupils, he can tell that he’s thinking something along the lines of _‘you’re the one who insisted on using lube’_ —which is so unfair, because Luke had only been thinking of how he didn’t want to cause Ashton any pain.

Thankfully, Ashton finally removes his fingers a few seconds later and with his chest heaving, he gives Luke a one-word command. “Condom.”

Luke quickly nods and pats around the mattress until he feels the foil against his fingers, unwilling to take his eyes off of Ashton. As soon as he picks the condom up, Ashton grabs it from him and hurriedly tears the wrapper open, obviously still feeling just as desperate as Luke is. Once he tosses the piece of foil to the side, he slides the condom over Luke’s cock and just that little bit of contact makes Luke whine again. He’s more than ready for Ashton to ride him now, and it fills him with both joy and relief when Ashton firmly grasps his cock and positions the head where he wants it.

“Just so y’know, I’m probably not gonna last that long,” Ashton admits, his smile almost bashful. “Haven’t gotten myself off in ten days… wanted to wait for you to get here and do it for me.”

Luke wonders if he should feel bad when he laughs at the confession, but honestly, he can’t really help it. There are certain times when Ashton is just too unreal, which is basically all of the time. It’s incredibly endearing, though, and Luke finds himself smiling despite the frustration that he still feels in his nether regions.

“I love you,” he murmurs, still smiling fondly.

Somehow Ashton blushes even more, despite the fact that Luke has uttered those words to him at least a few thousand times by now. Ashton, on the other hand, still hasn’t repeated those words back to him yet, but Luke tells himself to be patient. As long as he has patience, he doesn’t mind how long he has to wait to hear Ashton say that he loves him.

Luke’s thought process comes to a screeching halt when he feels the head of his cock against Ashton’s hole, and he doesn’t get another moment to prepare himself because Ashton slowly starts to sink down, taking him in all at once. Luke’s eyes go as wide as saucers upon feeling the immense heat that engulfs him, and it’s even hotter than Ashton’s mouth had been. Much hotter. Ashton feels so goddamn hot and tight and when Luke opens his mouth to moan, the sound gets caught in his throat.

Ashton lets out a long, deep sigh when he reaches the base and Luke is completely inside of him. His eyes are still clenched shut and he looks stiff as he waits for his body to adjust to the feeling, which is understandable. Luke knows exactly what it’s like to feel really full down there, even with a great amount of preparation beforehand. At the moment, he’s unable to do anything to comfort Ashton, though; Luke is currently too busy dealing with the overwhelming heat and tightness around his cock to focus on anything else. Ashton is already making him feel so _good_ even though they haven’t moved yet.

“ _Ash_ ,” Luke gasps, his eyes and mouth still wide in awe.

Ashton leans down and rests his forehead against Luke’s shoulder, his breathing shallow but he still manages to laugh a little.

“I know,” Ashton whispers. He can relate to how Luke is feeling, too. He knows what it’s like to be inside of someone else, he’s familiar with the unbearable heat and pressure that continues to build until it’s too much to handle. He also knows that it isn’t just a physical thing, because allowing someone to enter your body involves a certain amount of trust, too. You’re trusting them not to hurt you and trusting that they’ll make you feel as good as you’ll make them feel in return. Trust is something that he and Luke definitely have.

Although he tries really hard, Luke can’t stop his hips from jutting up to get a bit of friction because he absolutely needs it right now, or else he’ll go insane. The sudden movement causes Ashton to gasp and he sinks his teeth into the skin on Luke’s shoulder, making the younger boy whine helplessly.

“Fuck, Ashton… can—can you move? Please move, I n-need… need you to move,” Luke stutters out, rapidly losing the self-control that’s stopping him from thrusting up into Ashton as fast as he can.

Ashton finally leans up again and when their gazes meet, he slowly rocks his hips forward. Luke makes the softest little noise at that, and when Ashton repeats the action he loses himself in the extraordinary sensation. Ashton’s weight on top of him as well as the heat surrounding his cock feels greater than Luke ever imagined that it would. As a matter of fact, it really is too much to handle but Luke wants to feel every single bit of it, he wants to feel Ashton with every nerve in his body and he wants to feel it _now_.

Not knowing where to start, Luke’s hands skitter over Ashton’s perfect thighs before moving up to his stomach and chest, touching every bit of skin that can be reached. Ashton grabs one of Luke’s hands and brings it up to his lips, where he presses kisses to each fingertip while never breaking eye contact with Luke or the rhythm of his rotating hips. Luke watches in admiration as Ashton takes the middle and index fingers into his mouth and begins sucking on them, his tongue twirling around the two fingers and licking in between them. It’s kind of ticklish but also really fucking hot at the same time, and Luke can already sense that he isn’t going to last long, either.

“Faster,” Luke cries, because Ashton is still rotating his hips so painfully slow that it’s almost as agonizing as it is pleasurable. “Go faster…”

Ashton lets go of the split-slick fingers but he doesn’t do as Luke says; instead he slows down the movements of his hips until he’s hardly even moving at all, and the lack of friction instantly turns Luke into a whimpering mess below him.

“What was that?” Ashton asks, still breathing rather harshly. Just from the tone that he used, Luke can tell what he’s trying to do and, really, he couldn’t have picked a worse time to be a fucking tease. Luke whines and squirms underneath him but Ashton doesn’t move an inch, so he quickly gives up trying and decides to do what Ashton expects him to.

“Go f-faster, _please_ , Ash—please go faster,” Luke whimpers, giving in to Ashton’s desire to have him beg for it. And, honestly? He’ll beg as much as he needs to, if it’ll get Ashton to go back to making him feel unbelievably good down in the dick department.

The begging seems to have worked perfectly, because Ashton gets that wild look in his eyes that Luke has yearned to see again for so long now.

“Put your hands on my hips,” Ashton commands, his voice husky and just as wild as the look in his eyes, and Luke immediately follows orders, his hands coming up to tightly grip Ashton’s lovely hips.

Ashton slowly raises himself up until only the very tip of Luke’s dick remains inside of him, before slamming back down so hard that Luke nearly loses consciousness; not really, but that’s definitely what it felt like. Ashton seems exceptionally pleased with himself upon hearing the intense moan that he managed to pull out of the younger boy, and when he does it again Luke moans just as vocally as the first time.

“Is it good?” Ashton asks.

“Y-Yes,” Luke whispers, nodding his head. “Again… p-please, do it again.”

Ashton gives him exactly what he wants and then some. He lifts up and grinds back down again, increasing the pace every time that he does so and effectively driving Luke more and more insane with each of his movements. Soon enough he’s literally bouncing up and down on Luke’s cock and the mattress beneath them begins to creak in protest. Luke, on the other hand, greatly enjoys the sensation of being ridden so fiercely that he’ll probably still be able to feel it weeks later.

Although it takes a hell of a lot of effort, Luke does his best to keep his eyes open because he wants to see all of it; from how his cock looks repeatedly going in and out of Ashton to the breathtaking expression on his boyfriend’s face. Luke is captivated by the redness of Ashton’s cheeks, the way that his messy hair sticks to his sweaty forehead, and his slackened jaw as his mouth hangs open, unable to control the moans that hail from his throat but also not even trying to. Glancing a bit lower, Luke watches as the shark tooth necklace lightly bounces against Ashton’s chest due to the velocity of his downward thrusts, and there’s something so enticing about all of it combined that Luke can’t even begin to explain.

“You’re beautiful,” he says aloud, because he had been thinking it this entire time. “Fuck, so beautiful and… and perfect—need you like this forever, need you to always be m-mine… love you s-so much, Ashton…”

Every word spewing from Luke’s lips is probably just as nonsensical as his jumbled up thoughts, which are rapidly being replaced with Ashton, Ashton, and _Ashton_. Everything is Ashton now, all that he feels and sees and understands is Ashton and, honestly, he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ashton appears to be just as overwhelmed as Luke is, if not more. His thighs are shaking even more dramatically than before, and it looks like it’s becoming harder for him to keep up the unbearably fast pace because the rhythm of his thrusts become untimed and desperate. He must be really close already, but so is Luke, and the possibility of coming together just like the last time is more appealing than anything else in the world right now.

So Luke digs his heels into the mattress and starts thrusting up into Ashton, helping him bring both of them closer to the edge. Ashton cries out in pleasure and leans down to rest his forehead on Luke’s chest, changing the angle and therefore allowing Luke to reach that perfect spot of his.

“Luke!” Ashton practically screams out, the sensation of Luke ramming against his prostate making him lose whatever composure he may have had left. “Fuck—right there, y-yeah, don’t stop!”

That’s definitely one demand that Luke doesn’t need to be given. He bites down on his lip and continues fucking into Ashton as hard and fast as his body lets him, and the rough slapping of their skin with every thrust is almost painful at this point. Still, he doesn’t stop for a single fraction of a second. Once again he allows himself to be consumed by the feeling, the marvelous feeling of being inside of Ashton and underneath Ashton and _with_ Ashton, after four long months that were absolutely worth it.

Ashton leans up just enough to get a hand around his leaking cock and he begins pumping himself at the same speed of Luke’s thrusts, his breathing coming in harsh, short gasps. When he opens his eyes again and hazel meets blue, there’s something there between them that feels much stronger than before. It’s stronger, more intense, and it feels unquestionably permanent. It feels genuine and complex and Luke still can’t figure out what’s different about Ashton but he knows that somehow he’s fallen even more in love.

Ashton’s eyes suddenly widen even more and it’s clear to see that he’s literally on the brink of orgasm. “Luke, I…”

Luke nods in understanding because he feels the tight knot in his stomach beginning to unravel, and the unbearable heat that surrounds him makes him feel like his entire body is aflame. The movements of his hips have become erratic and he hardly even recognizes the sounds pouring from his own lips, but he knows that he’s going to come any second now and Ashton will be right there with him.

“Oh god,” Ashton gasps, followed by a loud whimper. “I…”

“Come,” Luke says for him, since Ashton is apparently too far gone to finish his own sentences. “Just… come, Ash.”

And just like that, Ashton arches his back as he comes with a dramatic shudder, and Luke doesn’t take his eyes off of Ashton’s flushed neck or his hand still moving over his cock as he milks himself of every last drop, spilling onto Luke’s stomach. Watching all of it makes Luke feel dizzy and he’s _so fucking close_ , he’s about to lose it any moment now and—

“ _I love you_ ,” Ashton breathes out, just before collapsing against Luke’s chest and going completely limp.

In that moment, Luke’s entire world pauses. Did Ashton really just say what he thinks that he said? Luke’s mind is incredibly fuzzy and he can hardly even form coherent thoughts, so it’s entirely possible that he’s simply hearing things wrong. However, his ears tell him that Ashton _definitely_ just used the words ‘I’ and ‘love’ and ‘you’ in that specific order. Like, those words literally just came out of his boyfriend’s mouth a few seconds ago.

_I love you_ , Ashton’s voice echoes inside of Luke’s head, and although he’s imagined hearing those words countless times, nothing could have ever prepared him for just how fucking _perfect_ they sound. They’re absolutely perfect and when the world starts to move again, Luke is suddenly overwhelmed by a plethora of emotions and all of them are good, so good that he just might cry.

Instead of actually crying, Luke carefully flips them over so that Ashton is lying on his back now. Luke remains inside of Ashton and his cock is still aching for release, but he can’t even bring himself to focus on the immense amount of sexual frustration anymore. What he focuses on is the man underneath him, this amazing human being that not only managed to turn his world upside down, but also added various hues of unparalleled beauty. Yeah, Ashton is warmth and sunshine but his different colors are what make him truly beautiful.

“You really mean it?” Luke whispers, his soft tone barely audible over his own heartbeat.

Ashton is still breathing harshly but his eyes flutter open at the question, and he looks so dazed and fucked out that he probably has no idea what Luke is referring to. But then he nods slowly, and the sincerity within his eyes makes Luke’s heart thump even harder.

“Can you… can you say it again?” he asks, because he’s already yearning to hear those words a thousand times over.

Ashton’s lips quirk up into a tiny smile and he does as Luke requests. “I love you, Lukey,” he whispers, sounding just as exhausted as he looks, but it’s still _perfect_ and Luke has never been happier.

“Again?” Luke asks once more.

And Ashton says it a little louder this time. “I love you.”

The soft moan that escapes him is involuntary, and Luke thinks that he could probably come just from hearing Ashton repeat those same words. Actually, that seems like a really great idea, so Luke immediately starts to move again. Ashton lets out a sharp hiss right afterwards, probably overstimulated at this point, but that doesn’t stop him from tightly wrapping his legs around Luke’s waist and pulling the younger boy flush against him. This new position doesn’t allow for much movement, but Luke rocks into Ashton like his life depends on it, because it probably does.

“Say it… please s-say it again,” he whimpers.

“I… I love you,” Ashton repeats. One of his hands is pressed flat against Luke’s back while the other has a tight grip in his blonde hair, and once again it’s absolutely perfect.

Luke grits his teeth as he feels his balls tighten almost painfully. “ _Again_.”

“I— _fuck_ —I love you, Luke… I love you, I r-really do,” Ashton cries.

The merciless way that Ashton’s muscles clench around him and repeatedly being told that he’s loved is what does it, in the end. Luke comes more intensely than any orgasm that he’s had in his life, his loud cry muffled by the fact that his face is buried in Ashton’s sweaty neck. His hips keep rocking into Ashton until he physically can’t anymore and then he slumps against him, every bone in his body feeling as if it were made of lead.

When Luke finally comes down from his high, it feels like he’s floating. His limbs are still heavy and he’s probably about to crash from all of the coffee that he consumed earlier, not to mention the incredible sex that he just had. But in a non-physical sense, he’s floating. He’s also quite satisfied and a little giddy, so he can’t help it when he smiles into Ashton’s neck.

Ashton suddenly begins to squirm and it’s then that Luke remembers he’s still inside of Ashton, so he uses the last of his remaining energy to lean up and pull out at last. Ashton shivers a little from the movement, but other than that he stays completely still, his closed eyes making him appear asleep.

“Ashton…?” Luke murmurs, because now he wonders if Ashton really _is_ asleep already.

“Just… give me a sec,” Ashton says, his words coming out slowly. “It’s been _way_ too long since I was fucked like that.” After a short pause, he shakes his head and chuckles softly. “Actually, I’ve never been fucked like that. Thank you.”

Luke chuckles as well, and he reaches up to brush away the wet hair from Ashton’s forehead. Ashton eventually opens his eyes and they gaze into each other’s for what feels like an eternity. Luke wouldn’t object to spending an eternity with Ashton, and it’s probably far too early to be having such thoughts but he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life with Ashton, either.

“Ash?”

“Hm?”

Luke smiles like the love-struck dork that he is. “I love you, too.”

When he leans down and connects their lips, there isn’t a single doubt in his mind that perhaps they were always meant to be together like this.

***

A little while later they’re cuddling and still giving each other kisses, but mostly just cuddling. Luke gently caresses Ashton’s back, running his fingers down his boyfriend’s spine and lightly massaging the area just above his tailbone. When his hand trails a little lower, Ashton begins to squirm because his ass is still sore, so Luke stays away from the area. He brings his hand back around to the front and grazes over Ashton’s stomach, before reaching a little higher to pinch his nipple just for the hell of it and he laughs when Ashton whines. But, he instantly regrets doing that when Ashton retaliates by pinching the pierced nipple that’s still too sensitive to be played with. Luke tries getting revenge but to no avail.

“Stop that,” Ashton giggles, pushing his hand away again. Luke gives up and they go back to silently lying there until Ashton speaks again. “So, now that you’ve been on both ends, which do you like more? Top or bottom?”

It takes about two seconds for Luke to understand what Ashton’s getting at.

“Um, I don’t know? They’re both so… _intense_.”

Ashton laughs a little. “That they are. I’m pretty versatile, depending on what I’m in the mood for. But I guess this means that we’ll just have to keep doing it in different ways to discover what you like best, huh?”

Ashton winks suggestively and a subtle blush spreads on Luke’s cheeks.

As amazing as it felt to be inside of Ashton, Luke has to admit that he also really enjoyed having Ashton inside of _him_. It’s true that it was a bit painful at first, but afterwards the pleasure had made up for every bit of discomfort that he felt in the beginning. On the other hand, having Ashton ride him still felt pretty fucking amazing. So, it’s difficult for him to decide. Ashton is right, though; they’ll just have to keep doing it. Luke has no problem with that at all, but given that they only have a week together, he knows that they obviously won’t be spending it in bed the entire time.

“When will you visit Sydney?” he asks, dying to know.

“Next month, actually. Most likely the day before my birthday,” Ashton answers, and it comes as a surprise since it’s the first time that he has mentioned a specific date. Whenever Luke asked that same question before, Ashton would always say _soon_ but never _when_. “My mum wants me to go home and celebrate it, and I’m pretty sure that she’s planning something even though I told her not to. But, you know mums.”

“You mean like a surprise birthday party?” Luke guesses.

Ashton nods. “Mhmm. And you’re gonna be there, right?”

“Of course I will.” Luke suddenly gasps when he comes to a realization. “Wait, this means that I’ll get to meet your mum…”

“Yeah, I suppose it does,” Ashton says with a smile.

“And since you’ll be in Sydney, you can come and meet my parents, too,” he says, even more excited now.

However, Ashton no longer shares his enthusiasm. “Someday, I’m sure… far in the distant future, _very_ distant.”

Luke frowns. “Ashton. Come on.”

“Luke, remember when your mum called right as I was about to get you off that one time? She’s psychic, I tell you. I’m kind of intimidated.”

“You’ve never even met her, though,” Luke argues. “Once you come to Sydney, you’ll have the perfect chance to.”

Ashton merely shakes his head, stubborn as always. “Okay, but then what? What makes you think that your parents will be okay with you dating a twenty-two-year-old?”

Luke opens his mouth to state otherwise, but he’s forced to pause when he realizes that he has no idea what his parents will think of his relationship with Ashton, once they’ve officially met. Of course they’ll want to know lots about him, since that’s the entire point of bringing someone home to meet the parents. So obviously they’ll wonder about his age among many other things.

“I’m sure that once they see how great you are, they won’t even care,” Luke says at last, although now he’s only about sixty percent certain of that. Maybe sixty-five. “Besides, they know that I came here to spend time with you, so it’s not as if they’re completely clueless about us being together.”

“They still don’t know my age, though. You’re only assuming that they’ll be okay with it when they might feel the opposite.”

Luke pouts because at this rate it doesn’t seem like he will be able to get through to Ashton. It’s not that he’s trying to force his boyfriend to meet his parents and he totally understands if Ashton isn’t ready for that yet. But Ashton assumes that Liz and Andrew will disapprove of him solely because of his age, when Luke is sure that that won’t happen at all. Like, okay, maybe the age difference might seem a little odd to them, but they’re good parents and they won’t shun their son’s boyfriend because of something as simplistic as that.

“Ashton, listen—I’ll be nineteen a few days after you turn twenty-two, right? So, technically I’ve been an adult for a while now, which means that I can do what I want and I can date who I want,” Luke explains. “And, it’s not like we’re _just_ dating… I’m in love with you, and I want them to know that. Once my parents see that we’re in love, I know that they’ll be happy for me. For _us_.”

Luke smiles as wide as he possibly can, keeping his face like that until Ashton huffs out a laugh, which is exactly what he was hoping for.

“I’m just really nervous, is all,” Ashton mumbles. “I mean, I’ve never had to do the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing before. How would I even introduce myself?” He pauses briefly and when he speaks again, he’s using a funny tone. “Hi, I’m the guy who took your son’s virginity. We’ve also been sending nudes to each other and doing other inappropriate things that technology lets us do.”

Luke snorts but then says in an equally funny tone, “You also saved me from drowning and stole my heart.”

Ashton’s chirpy laugh fills the room, but it also fills Luke with an abundance of warmth and joy.

“Seriously, Luke? That sounds like something straight out of a really cheesy movie.”

“Says the guy who blurts out that he loves me for the first time, mid-orgasm,” Luke retorts, smirking.

Ashton’s face instantly goes red with embarrassment and he buries it in the pillow, letting out a long groan. It’s a really adorable reaction, in Luke’s opinion, but because he has a few questions he doesn’t stop himself from asking them.

“When did you realize that you loved me? Like, fully loved me, a hundred percent?”

Ashton keeps his face in the pillow, not saying anything for a while. But when he finally does, he turns his head a little so that Luke would be able to hear him. “Sometime after the day that you left.”

That could mean anything, considering that Luke left four months ago. So ‘sometime’ after the day that he left isn’t that specific.

Luke attempts to elaborate on the question. “I meant how long ago, like… what confirmed it for you, I guess?”

Once again, Ashton doesn’t answer immediately so Luke waits as patiently as he can.

Finally, Ashton mutters, “When I woke up the next morning and you weren’t there.”

Well, that was unexpected. Luke doesn’t know what to say to that, but the fluttery feeling in his chest is a good one. He was always able to feel the love that Ashton had for him, but finally having it verbally expressed to him is such an amazing feeling that he can’t put into words. Plus, now he knows that Ashton basically loved him since the very beginning, which makes it even better.

“You waited four months to tell me,” Luke states, but not in a disappointed manner, of course. He knew that Ashton hadn’t been ready to repeat those words to him yet, but now he wonders how they hadn’t accidentally slipped out until just a few minutes ago.

“Well, yeah. I wanted to say it in person, face to face like it should be said,” Ashton explains with a sigh. “I had it all planned out for later this evening and it was gonna be really romantic and shit… can we pretend that it didn’t happen while you were balls deep inside of me?”

Luke quickly shakes his head. “Nope, never in a million years. It’s special and I’ll always remember every single detail of that moment.”

Ashton groans and tries to hide his face in the pillow again, but Luke doesn’t let him. He tugs the pillow away and forces Ashton to face him once more, the deep blush on his boyfriend’s face making him laugh a little. Flustered Ashton is a really cute Ashton, Luke decides; but he honestly believes that everything about Ashton is really cute, so maybe he’s a bit biased, but that’s alright with him.

“You’re cute,” Luke says, hovering over mister blushy-face. Ashton opens his mouth to argue but Luke cuts him off. “I love you.”

A warm smile instantly spreads on his boyfriend’s face and Luke thinks that he’s finally figured out what’s different about Ashton. He seems less afraid and much more _confident_ in himself and in their relationship, especially when he says in return, “And I love _you_.”

Luke leans down to kisses him for the hundredth time and Ashton smiles against his lips, happy and content.

Soon enough they’re back to cuddling in silence and it’s becoming increasingly difficult for Luke to keep his eyes open. He’s definitely crashing now and it almost makes him sad, because he wants to stay up and talk to Ashton now that he can do that in person. Hell, they don’t even need to talk about anything specifically. Simply staring at Ashton lying next to him is enough for Luke, but his eyelids are battling against him and it’s impossible to ignore his exhaustion at this point.

“Sleepy?” Ashton asks, although the answer is rather obvious.

Luke stubbornly shakes his head. “Nuh-uh…”

Ashton snorts. “Liar. You can’t even keep your eyes open.”

“Well, I only slept for about an hour last night… was too anxious to see you,” Luke admits.

“Really?”

Luke nods.

“Jesus… you should really go to sleep, then,” Ashton says.

Luke whines because that’s the exact opposite of what he wants to do, honestly. “But, then you’ll be lonely.”

Ashton rolls his eyes, laughing. “Luke, I’ll be even lonelier if you randomly pass out from sleep deprivation.”

“But… but what if I sleep for too long?” Just the thought of waking up a whole week later terrifies Luke, and he’s far too tired to realize that such a thing is probably impossible, so now he literally fears that he’ll sleep through this entire trip.

“I’ll make sure to wake you up,” Ashton says, which makes Luke calm down a little. Just a little.

“Okay,” he mumbles, but before he allows himself to drift into unconsciousness he adds, “Promise?”

 Ashton finds Luke’s pinky finger underneath the covers and links it with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze as he nods.

“I _pinky_ promise. Now get some rest, babe.”

By now, Luke should be used to the various cheesy nicknames that Ashton has given him over the past few months, but each one never fails to make him smile with glee. Consequently, when he closes his eyes at last, he falls asleep with that same smile on his face.

***

When Luke finally wakes up, he has no idea what day it is or where he even is, until he’s reminded by the band posters on the wall and the familiar furniture around him. This is Ashton’s bedroom, which means that he’s still in Ashton’s bed. The comfy mattress proves this theory.

However, Ashton is nowhere to be seen.

Luke slowly sits up and rubs his tired eyes, still feeling unbelievably exhausted. The room is a bit darker now and the shadows on the wall tell him that it’s probably around sunset, meaning that he has slept for a few hours. Well, a few hours is definitely better than a few days, so he isn’t too disappointed.

He does wish that Ashton was still beside him, though. It’s probably pathetic that he’s been awake for little more than sixty seconds and he’s already missing his boyfriend, but missing Ashton is the very reason that he’s in Byron Bay right now, anyway. So it makes sense that he craves Ashton’s presence.

A magnificent aroma suddenly fills Luke’s nostrils and his empty stomach immediately growls in response. Oh yeah, now Luke remembers why he had woken up in the first place. His hunger roused him from his peaceful sleep and now it’s demanding to be filled with delicious food, which shouldn’t be a problem if his nose is correct. The smell of something very yummy is coming from the kitchen, so Luke gets up to investigate.

He instantly realizes that he’s still naked and he could really use a shower, but perhaps he’ll do that after he gets something in his belly first. A quick glance around the room reveals that his clothes are nowhere to be seen, and it’s then that Luke remembers being stripped of them before he and Ashton had entered the bedroom. Oh well, this just gives him the perfect excuse to go into Ashton’s drawers and borrow something for now. So, Luke grabs a plain t-shirt and a pair of comfy sweatpants and puts them on before leaving the room.

The aroma gets stronger as he makes his way to the kitchen, where he finally finds Ashton standing in front of the stove. Just the sight of his boyfriend standing there in the kitchen and fixing something delicious gives Luke such a warm feeling. It’s incredibly domestic and before he even realizes what he’s doing, he approaches Ashton from behind and wraps his arms around his lover’s waist. Ashton is only slightly startled by his sudden appearance.

“Hi,” Luke whispers, his chin resting on Ashton’s shoulder now.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Ashton replies with a giggle. “I was going to wake you up ten minutes from now, but I guess I don’t have to anymore.”

Luke merely hums and nuzzles into Ashton’s neck, inhaling deeply before letting out a long sigh of content. This is something that he can get used to; waking up to find his boyfriend cooking a meal and then watching from over his boyfriend’s shoulder as said meal is cooked. Luke can’t really tell what it is that Ashton’s making, but he sees that it involves fried chicken and the smell makes his mouth water.

“I thought that you only knew how to make spaghetti and steamed broccoli?” he teases.

“You wrongly _assumed_ that I only knew how to make spaghetti and broccoli,” Ashton corrects him. “But, I guess you can say that I’ve been practicing recently. I can even make yummy desserts now!”

The pride in Ashton’s tone puts a smile on Luke’s face. He kisses Ashton’s neck and then proceeds to stare at the fried chicken again, his stomach beginning to grumble because it still hasn’t received what it wants.

“Is it almost ready?” he asks, licking his lips.

Ashton nods. “Yup, and once it’s packed we’ll be ready to leave.”

“Wait, leave? Where are we going?”

“On a picnic, of course.” Ashton turns his head to give Luke a sneaky little grin before redirecting his attention to the food again. Luke has to admit that going on a picnic is a rather nice surprise. They used to do that a lot, back when it was summer and the days were longer. He can’t wait to get sand in between his toes and feel the cool saltwater splash across his feet.

Luke’s stomach growls again and he lets out a quiet moan. “I’m hungry _now_ , though… can I have a piece before we leave?”

“Nope.”

“ _Ashton_ ,” Luke whines.

Ashton laughs at his pain, which is pretty damn rude. But then he turns around in Luke’s grasp and leans up to kiss the younger boy’s cheek.

“You can have some of the orzo and shrimp salad, though.”

Luke tilts his head, clueless. “The what?”

Instead of explaining, Ashton takes his hand and leads him over to the counter, where a container of _something_ sits next to an empty picnic basket. Luke watches as Ashton grabs a fork from the drawer and dips it into the container, then turns to hold it up to Luke’s mouth. Luke has no idea what orzo is, but he likes shrimp and his stomach is literally begging him now, so he opens his mouth and gladly accepts the food. He’s already humming with delight as he chews the food before swallowing it down, and Ashton watches him with a relieved smile.

“More?” Luke requests, and Ashton happily obliges, feeding him another forkful of the delicious salad. But when Luke asks for a third taste, Ashton shakes his head and goes back over to the stove to remove a piece of chicken from the fryer. Seeing the golden-brown, crispy texture of the meat is more torturous than any physical pain that Luke has ever experienced and he _needs_ to have it, but Ashton will say no again.

Well, this is where Luke’s unique charm comes in handy.

He approaches Ashton from behind and wraps his arms around his waist again, then leans down to press his lips against the back of Ashton’s neck. Ashton responds with a quiet hum, so Luke begins to move his lips, pressing open-mouthed kisses along his boyfriend’s neck. The plan is quite simple; he’ll give Ashton lots of kisses until Ashton feels inclined to reward him with a piece of chicken. Okay, so it sounds weird when Luke says it in his head, but he’s starving and his stomach thinks that it’s a good plan. Besides, they haven’t kissed in hours because Luke had been sleeping, so these kisses are long overdue.

Ashton starts to giggle the more that Luke kisses his neck and eventually he’s unable to concentrate on cooking, so he turns around. Luke instantly takes the chance to capture his boyfriend’s lips, kissing him sweetly and enjoying the way that Ashton quickly melts into it.

This is how things should always be; kissing each other in the middle of the kitchen, randomly going on cute picnic dates, not having a single care in the world. This is how it should be, this is how Luke _wants_ it to be, even though he knows that life just doesn’t work that way. As much as he misses the carefree summer months and yearns to return to that simple time in his life, he accepts that it’s over and he’s actually looking forward to the future. After all, Ashton is in his future, and that’s reason enough to embrace it.

But the future isn’t the only thing that Luke embraces. He slides his hands down from Ashton’s waist, going lower until he reaches Ashton’s perky ass and gives it a nice squeeze. Ashton moans softly and breaks the kiss afterwards, laughing as he pushes Luke away—which is, like, kind of rude since Luke totally wasn’t done admiring his cheeks.

“Cut it out, Lukey, I know what you’re doing,” Ashton giggles. “And I’m _not_ burning this food like you let me burn Calum’s cake.”

“What? When did burning the cake become _my_ fault?” Luke asks incredulously. “You’re the one who set the oven on the wrong temperature!”

Ashton shrugs and looks elsewhere, guilt written all over his face. “Strange, I don’t recall that at all.”

Luke rolls his eyes at the obvious bullshit that just came out of Ashton’s mouth. “Uh-huh.”

Ashton has already gone back to tending to the food, essentially ending the burnt cake debate before it even started. “Anyway, you should go and get yourself ready so that we can leave soon, okay?”

“But I’m still hungry,” Luke grumbles to himself.

He stares longingly as Ashton begins to pack some of the food into the picnic basket, and when he thinks that he isn’t being watched, Luke attempts to sneak a tiny piece of chicken crust into his mouth. It surprises him when something smacks him on the butt, and he quickly realizes that it was Ashton’s hand.

Ashton just spanked him. It wasn’t a really hard smack, but it did sting a little and for some reason Luke is a little excited now. Like, he almost wants to misbehave again just to see what Ashton would do. Unfortunately, the next thing that he knows he’s being ushered out of the kitchen.

“No chicken until you’ve showered and put something on!” Ashton declares. He tries to sound stern but it’s ruined when he laughs in the middle of his sentence.

Luke wants to ask if he’s allowed to put something of Ashton’s on again instead of rummaging through his own luggage, but he decides that he’s going to borrow something anyway, with or without his boyfriend’s permission; especially since Ashton is perfectly fine with letting him starve to death. So Luke obeys the command that he’s given, but just before he exits the kitchen for good, he twirls back around and leans against the doorway.

“Ash?”

Ashton lets out an annoyed sigh and glances over in his direction. “What now, Luke?”

“I love you,” Luke says, grinning as wide as possible. “Just so you know.”

Even after all this time, Ashton still looks a little surprised by those words. But then an adorable smile slowly spreads on his face and he giggles again, his face glowing with happiness.

“I love you, too. Just so _you_ know,” Ashton replies, and he sounds so damn proud and confident that it makes Luke feel fuzzy inside. “Now hurry up and do as you’re told. I’m just as hungry as you are, y’know.”

“Fine, I’m going,” Luke huffs. Even so, he stands there for just a few more seconds, watching Ashton move about the kitchen as he gets everything ready for their romantic picnic. If it wasn’t for his hungry tummy and the fact that he doesn’t have forever, Luke would stand there for eternity, just watching Ashton perform simple tasks such as this.

Instead, he rushes off to the bathroom with a wide smile still plastered on his face and that same warmth surrounding him.

Luke decides that he really is the luckiest boy in all of Australia.

***

Once they’ve finally left the little apartment, Ashton suggests that they set up their picnic at the nearest beach so that they can eat as soon as possible, but Luke insists that they go to the pier. It’s not too much of a distance when he thinks about the longer distance between Sydney and Byron Bay, so he doesn’t mind walking to the pier alongside Ashton. It actually proves to be quite fun, because they spend the extra time talking about nothing in particular and Luke laughs at a lot of things that Ashton says, even though it’s probably not that funny. Luke finds it hilarious, though. So he laughs.

They reach their destination much sooner than expected, or maybe time just flew by because they’d been having fun on the way there. Either way, Luke is happy when Ashton sets out the blanket that they brought with them and they begin to unpack the food from the basket, the aroma filling his nostrils once again. Deciding not to waste any more time, Luke begins to pile the food onto one of the disposable plates after he thanks Ashton for making it. Ashton simply smiles and watches Luke devour the chicken before getting some for himself.

It’s definitely the most cliché and romantic thing that they’ve done together in a while. They alternate between eating and drinking pineapple cooler to saying silly things just to make each other laugh, and they sit with their shoulders touching despite the vast amount of room on the blanket. Ashton feeds Luke some more of the orzo salad and when Luke holds a grape up to Ashton’s lips, his boyfriend gladly accepts it. Luke isn’t all that surprised when Ashton teasingly licks his finger just before he pulls it away, but he blushes regardless.

To top it all off, they’re doing all of this at the pier, otherwise known as Luke’s favorite place in all of Byron Bay—aside from Ashton’s bedroom, of course. The pier is his absolute favorite place and he can’t think of a better location for a perfectly cliché picnic date, which is why it alarms him when Ashton casually mentions that it’ll probably be demolished soon.

“What? Why? And what for?” he asks consecutively, not knowing which one he wants to be answered first.

“Don’t know, something about it being too much of a safety hazard,” Ashton answers with a shrug.

Luke opens his mouth to argue against that but decides not to since it’s certainly true. The pier is old, damaged, and basically in ruins. Walking along its narrow pathway is a little frightening, what with the persistent creaking of the wooden planks and the fact that some of them are missing. Still, every time that they’ve visited this area, hardly anyone was around. Even now they’re alone so it must mean that no one ventures to the pier that often, so Luke doesn’t see how it can be considered a safety hazard when people don’t seem to mess with it in the first place. On the other hand, there’s no real reason for the pier to be here, either. It’s basically useless.

Regardless of that, Luke feels very protective over this place. It really is special to him, after all. The various memories that they’ve shared beneath this pier hadn’t seemed like much at the time, but now that it’ll probably be torn down he realizes just how much he truly cared about it.

“We have to fight it,” Luke suddenly declares. “We can do that, right?”

Ashton raises a brow, obviously having no idea what he means by that. “Fight… it?”

“Like, start a petition,” Luke elaborates. “We start a petition and then we get a certain number of signatures, I think… okay, I honestly have no idea how those things work, but we can do that. Probably.”

Ashton shakes his head and starts to laugh until he sees the pout on Luke’s face. “I’m sorry, Lukey, but… I don’t think that there’s anything we can do? I mean, it’s not official yet, but.” He pauses, shrugging again. “Besides, I probably won’t be around by the time that they make the decision.”

Confused, Luke asks, “What do you mean by that?”

He doesn’t get an answer immediately. Ashton leans forward and rummages through the picnic basket, finally bringing out a folded up piece of paper when he finds what he’s looking for. Luke is instantly curious and wonders what it could be.

“I need your honest opinion on something,” Ashton tells him, nervousness and excitement quite apparent in his tone. “Is that okay?”

Luke’s nod is automatic and he feels twice as curious now. He watches as Ashton unfolds the paper, fingers moving agonizingly slow. When it’s finally unfolded and Ashton hands it to him, Luke is even more clueless since now he’s staring at various pictures of empty rooms.

“This one is a single bedroom apartment, kind of like the one that I have now,” Ashton explains, pointing at one of the pictures. “It’s a little bit bigger and I like the bathroom, but the loft really reaches out to me and the kitchen area is fucking amazing.”

Luke follows Ashton’s finger and glances down at the other pictures, which display what Ashton had just described. Both of the living spaces look decent enough to call home and spacious enough for two people to live comfortably, but he does agree that the loft is pretty neat. All that it needs is a bit of decorating to give it a personality and… wait, why is Ashton even asking him about this stuff, anyway?

Before Luke has a chance to ask, Ashton begins to explain and it sounds like he could hardly wait to do so.

“Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you—the loft is basically already mine but I wanted your opinion before I make the final decision, y’know? Wouldn’t want my boyfriend to loathe coming over to my place because he thought it was shitty.” Ashton smirks endearingly and playfully nudges Luke with his shoulder. “But, they’re the cheapest places that I could find close enough to Bondi Beach. God, you would _not_ believe the prices that I’ve seen…”

Luke sits there with his mouth hanging open, not really sure what to think because his mind hasn’t processed all of it yet. At the same time, he’s still really confused and doesn’t want to assume anything, afraid of getting his hopes up for nothing. However, it sounds as if Ashton is implying that…

“I’m moving to Bondi,” Ashton says, probably tired of waiting for Luke’s delayed reaction.

“Bondi,” Luke slowly repeats, dumbstruck. “As in… _Bondi_?”

Ashton bursts into laughter, the sound filling Luke with something that he can’t really put a name to. “Yes, Luke. Bondi. Y’know, the one located in Sydney, Australia? Planet earth? That Bondi. I heard that there’s a lack of lifeguards, which is obviously not good. So I had to ask myself, what would Robin do? Well, a true hero would help out and—”

“You’re actually _moving_ there?” Luke blurts out, interrupting whatever story Ashton was just about to tell. “Like, really? No joke?”

“No joke,” Ashton confirms, and because he knows exactly what Luke will ask next, he comes right out and says it. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, to be honest. Months, even. I’ve decided that it’s what I wanna do and, well, I’m gonna do it.”

Ashton looks forward again, not speaking for a moment as he gazes wistfully at the beautiful horizon, the sun having completely disappeared behind the hills now. “I mean… I really do love this place. It’s been my home for a few years now and I know that I’ll miss it like crazy, but I guess I’m just… ready to move on? Like, the only reason that I came here in the first place was because I just needed an escape. Well, that’s not the case anymore and I feel like this place is actually holding me back. So, I’m starting over.”

He lets out a small sigh and turns to face Luke again, his hazel eyes filled with joy. “Also, I miss my family and moving to Bondi will allow me to be much closer to them… and to you. It just so happens that the beach isn’t too far from Sydney University, either. At least, that’s what the map says.”

Since his brain is finally working again, Luke makes a noise that’s probably a half-laugh half-squeal. “Ash, that’s like a fifteen minute drive!”

“Is it?” Ashton asks, feigning ignorance. “Hm, never knew.”

Ashton’s charming dimples make his wide smile appear even more mischievous, and how else is Luke supposed to respond to the greatest news of all time? Honestly, there’s nothing that he could say to accurately express everything that’s going through his mind right now, and there aren’t any words that could properly describe the pleasant feeling within his chest. Thus, Luke reacts in the only way that he knows how.

He throws his arms around Ashton’s neck and hugs him like there’s no tomorrow, which ends up making Ashton fall back into the blanket with Luke on top of him. Both of them are laughing for no apparent reason other than extreme happiness, and Luke begins talking a mile a minute, overwhelmed by all of the exciting thoughts that come rushing forth.

“We’ll be so close to each other that I’ll be able to spend the night at your place and still make it to class the next day!” Luke exclaims with wide eyes and a smile so big that it nearly hurts. “And you can come over to our place whenever you want—oh my god, the four of us can finally have another movie night, too!”

Ashton giggles, finding Luke’s enthusiasm to be quite adorable. “Sure, we can have plenty of movie nights, if ya want.”

“And you can make spaghetti,” Luke gasps. “You have no idea how much Calum has been bitching about missing your spaghetti since the day that we left… oh! And maybe we can finally start that band, just like we used to say that we would. You really are the missing link that we need, you know. How does that sound? Wouldn’t it be fun?”

Ashton hums and reaches up, running his fingers through Luke’s hair and keeping his hand there.

“A band, huh?” he murmurs, and then adds with a smile, “Ashton and the Boobs.”

Luke scrunches his nose in distaste. “Right, so we still need to work on a name. Try to think of one without the word ‘boobs’, okay?”

“Luke and Ashton!” Ashton quickly replies, looking proud of himself. “With an exclamation point at the end of my name.”

“Um, aren’t you forgetting about Michael and Calum?”

“Fine, we can be…” Ashton trails off to think for a few seconds. “C.A.L.M.”

“Wow.” Luke sighs and rests his forehead against Ashton’s shoulder, deciding to give up the name game. “You really suck at this, don’t you?”

“You love me anyway,” Ashton says.

Okay, so he definitely has a point there. Luke lifts his head again and doesn’t even try to hide the fond in his eyes, but he wouldn’t be able to so there’s no use in denying it.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “I do.”

The way that Ashton smiles at him gives Luke hope. He has no idea what the future holds in store for them, but right now he feels like it’ll be something good. Very, very good. Ashton will be closer to him and their relationship will be stronger than ever; they’ll go on numerous cliché dates and kiss a lot and probably annoy Michael and Calum with how fucking sappy they are, but honestly, that’s the best part. They’ll also have fights here and there and times when things get rough again, but he knows that they’ll get through it, they’ll always get through it. If they endured four months of being unable to touch one another, then they can endure anything.

At least, that’s what Luke believes.

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” Ashton asks all of a sudden, and he looks legitimately upset by the lack of lip contact.

Which is pretty damn cute, in Luke’s opinion. Actually, it’s more like a fact.

And since Luke likes to think of himself as a good boyfriend, he decides not to keep Ashton waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it to the end! You get a gold star. I had some more things that I wanted to say but I literally forgot them all because it's 2am. Damn. Oh, and that quote Michael used is from Game of Thrones. Basically he's been trying to get Ashton to watch various TV shows and GoT is one of them. Ashton promised that he'd "check it out" but he never did, so he didn't understand the quote. But I'm sure Michael will force him to do so later on, once Ashton moves to Sydney. ♥


End file.
